1 00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:05,360 Speaker 1: I leave in a you wanna way back home? 2 00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:10,760 Speaker 2: Either way we want to be there, doesn't matter how 3 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:14,880 Speaker 2: much baggage you claim and give us time and a 4 00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:17,599 Speaker 2: turmanol and gay. 5 00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:22,400 Speaker 3: We want to send you off inside. Do you wanna 6 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 3: welcome you back home? Tell us all about every scared her? 7 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:29,240 Speaker 3: Was it fine? 8 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:31,360 Speaker 2: Now? 9 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:49,120 Speaker 3: Porn? Do you need to ride? 10 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,120 Speaker 4: Do you need to ride? 11 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:53,040 Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? 12 00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:55,000 Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? 13 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:59,440 Speaker 4: Do you need to ride? Do your need ride? 14 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:11,600 Speaker 5: Ride with Karen and Chris when. 15 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:18,280 Speaker 4: Welcome? Do you need a ride? This is Chris Fairbanks. 16 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:19,160 Speaker 3: And this is Karen Kilgariff. 17 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:25,000 Speaker 4: I'm some I go by Christopher James Fairbanks, but Chris 18 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:30,240 Speaker 4: Fairbanks professionally, because there's another Christopher Fairbanks in town, and 19 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:35,640 Speaker 4: a Christopher Fairbank in England. Singular yeah one, that's actually 20 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:37,280 Speaker 4: what my name used to be. I guess I don't 21 00:01:37,319 --> 00:01:39,360 Speaker 4: know when Americans added the ass. 22 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,480 Speaker 3: Ellis Island, that's where a lot of those mistakes happened. 23 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:45,120 Speaker 4: Yeah, a lot of asses were just thrown around Willy 24 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:48,120 Speaker 4: Nilly up there, or they used to be called Willy Nilly's. 25 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,680 Speaker 3: Uh you know why what a lot of snakes worked 26 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:54,040 Speaker 3: at Ellis Island. 27 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,480 Speaker 4: Snakes with lisps. 28 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 3: Lisps, and uh, they would have collars around their neck 29 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:02,600 Speaker 3: and a high that's in a little hat. 30 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:06,880 Speaker 4: I love the idea of a worm when it's raining. 31 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,680 Speaker 4: He's like, well, it's a perfect day for a while, 32 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:10,880 Speaker 4: and he's got a little tie and a little hat. 33 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:12,440 Speaker 3: A formal worm. 34 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:15,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, in a briefcase. I don't know how he 35 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:17,800 Speaker 4: carries it, but I just don't have always thought because 36 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:20,560 Speaker 4: worms go out when it rains. They love it, and 37 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:23,480 Speaker 4: they they almost never go out otherwise. 38 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:26,799 Speaker 1: They are very they're fiercely private people. 39 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:29,880 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's hard to crack a worm. 40 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:32,280 Speaker 1: But here's how you crack them. 41 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:33,120 Speaker 3: Did you hear that? 42 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:37,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, that was weird because that was a bodily that 43 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:38,399 Speaker 4: you had no control over. 44 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:41,360 Speaker 3: That that was I guess that was my water going 45 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:46,000 Speaker 3: down a second time as I carry took the gulp 46 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:49,520 Speaker 3: of it before we started dual tracheas you. 47 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:50,800 Speaker 1: Know what I did today at work? 48 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:54,400 Speaker 3: Are the bathrooms at work are right next to the 49 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:57,800 Speaker 3: the women's bathrooms are right next to the writing room. 50 00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:02,640 Speaker 3: And after I finished what I wanted to do in 51 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:05,880 Speaker 3: the bathroom, I wash my hands. People want details, okay, 52 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 3: sat down, then pulled my pants down, laughed. Oh, that 53 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:13,920 Speaker 3: mistake again. Right as I was about to leave, I 54 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:18,680 Speaker 3: was like throwing the paper towel away, and I felt 55 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:20,799 Speaker 3: because I just sit there and drink coffee and dit 56 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:25,080 Speaker 3: coke all day in that room, I ripped a huge 57 00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:27,200 Speaker 3: belch like I was like, oh, I have to burp, 58 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:29,640 Speaker 3: and I'm by myself, so I was like raw. It 59 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:36,720 Speaker 3: was like fuck. It was the MGM level lion belt. 60 00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:40,240 Speaker 3: And then I walked back into the room and sat 61 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:42,440 Speaker 3: down and it was so quiet. I was like, Oh, 62 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:45,800 Speaker 3: there's absolutely no way every didn't everyone didn't hear me 63 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:46,440 Speaker 3: just do that? 64 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:50,280 Speaker 4: Oh? And then but no, we don't. They were ashamed. 65 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:51,680 Speaker 4: They had shame in their eyes. 66 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:55,080 Speaker 3: For I mean, I don't know if they would either. 67 00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:59,440 Speaker 3: We don't all know each other that well. So like 68 00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:01,400 Speaker 3: I feel like it was you and I, you'd be like, 69 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:02,840 Speaker 3: can't we start to do that? 70 00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:03,640 Speaker 4: That was a hell of a. 71 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:04,720 Speaker 1: Burp or something. 72 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:06,240 Speaker 4: We'd high five, you know us. 73 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,880 Speaker 3: I mean I would run down the line of chairs. 74 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:11,920 Speaker 3: But it was that kind of thing where it's like 75 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,720 Speaker 3: starting a new school that vibe and still coming in 76 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:16,640 Speaker 3: and sitting down to a quiet room and then being like, oh, 77 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:18,000 Speaker 3: that was top volume. 78 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:20,040 Speaker 4: Did you want to just say, are you guys being 79 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:23,880 Speaker 4: quiet because of my burp? Yes, that light in the mood. 80 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:25,680 Speaker 3: I wanted to make a joke about it. I wanted 81 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:27,920 Speaker 3: to look at the guy across from me and go, hey, 82 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:31,440 Speaker 3: did you hear that? Purport just did? And then I said, nope, 83 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:33,320 Speaker 3: I just have to sit with this discomfort. 84 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:37,600 Speaker 4: Well, what what just happened? Sounded like a burp but muffled, 85 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,280 Speaker 4: like it was happening inside your body, Like there was 86 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:43,280 Speaker 4: another you inside you that was like burp and saw 87 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,800 Speaker 4: the opportunity while your mouth was open. But it came 88 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:46,560 Speaker 4: from deep down. 89 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:52,880 Speaker 3: There is another me inside me. She's very shy. She 90 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:56,599 Speaker 3: reads and gets her stuff done on time, and I 91 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:59,800 Speaker 3: never let her out. That was just a little cry 92 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,440 Speaker 3: for help of her, going please. 93 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:04,039 Speaker 4: You gotta get her out of there, because if I 94 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:06,920 Speaker 4: learned anything from inner space, if she ends up in 95 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:07,600 Speaker 4: your heart. 96 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:09,240 Speaker 3: She'll kill me. 97 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:10,880 Speaker 4: Well you'll kill her. 98 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:12,040 Speaker 3: Oh is that right? 99 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:12,440 Speaker 4: Yeah? 100 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:13,360 Speaker 3: Oh she can't live. 101 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:15,920 Speaker 4: Yeah, she can't go past the valve. 102 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:17,719 Speaker 3: There can only be one there was. 103 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:22,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, I think there was some sort of urgency. What 104 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:29,719 Speaker 4: a ridiculous eighties movie premise. They shrunk down a little 105 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:33,440 Speaker 4: man in a little vehicle and he was going through 106 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:36,360 Speaker 4: the ship Martin Short's. 107 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:39,560 Speaker 3: Bloodstream, that's right, and making him have all kinds of 108 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,080 Speaker 3: weird physical reactions. 109 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:46,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, for some reason, it would make him the reaction 110 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:49,920 Speaker 4: was shooting a vacuum at at his mouth. That was 111 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:52,279 Speaker 4: what they did for the effects. Is they would shoot 112 00:05:52,279 --> 00:05:54,680 Speaker 4: a vacuum and Martin Short's mouth and his lips would 113 00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:57,400 Speaker 4: get all huge. It's like they're just shooting a vacuum 114 00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:59,760 Speaker 4: out of the vacuum was off screen. 115 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:03,400 Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, like the g force yeah thing. 116 00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:05,760 Speaker 4: Yes, but it would just happen while he was at 117 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:08,719 Speaker 4: dinner impersonating someone else, and then they're like, oh, he's 118 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:10,880 Speaker 4: losing it. Why's he got vacuum mouth? 119 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:15,320 Speaker 3: There was a serious missus doubtfire feel to that movie 120 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:18,480 Speaker 3: where he was trying to pretend he was someone he wasn't. Yeah, 121 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 3: but he also had Dennis Quaid inside of him. 122 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:25,279 Speaker 4: Yeah, getting him, giving him almost confidence that at times 123 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:28,680 Speaker 4: was like a superpower. But then for a while, after 124 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:32,320 Speaker 4: he kissed Meg Ryan memory made time with Dennis Quaid's girl. 125 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:37,520 Speaker 4: That's right, that's right, through this saliva ended up in her. Oh. 126 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:40,719 Speaker 4: But even though the Quaid wasn't in him anymore, he 127 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:44,040 Speaker 4: was still kicking ass, beating people up and stuff. And 128 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:47,000 Speaker 4: then when it re entered, sorry I left you for 129 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:48,840 Speaker 4: a while, He's like, I was doing all that on 130 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:51,240 Speaker 4: my own, made him a better person. 131 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:55,240 Speaker 3: That's when his confidence grew and he realized he had 132 00:06:55,279 --> 00:06:58,000 Speaker 3: it inside him all along. Yeah, and then remember when 133 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,320 Speaker 3: it ended with that huge. 134 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:03,760 Speaker 4: Burp the best right end the movie. 135 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:08,400 Speaker 3: I remember seeing in her space in the theater, laughing 136 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:12,320 Speaker 3: like crazy. And I was at that age where Meg 137 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:15,200 Speaker 3: Ryan was like our homecoming queen. She was in every 138 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:17,560 Speaker 3: movie and she was the most beautiful woman in the 139 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:20,800 Speaker 3: world and loved her everyone. She was like your best friend. 140 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:24,400 Speaker 3: She was what everyone wanted to look like. She had 141 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,480 Speaker 3: a sweater. I wanted to buy it when the movie 142 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:26,880 Speaker 3: was over. 143 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:32,280 Speaker 4: We all wanted to have what she's having. We just 144 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:36,640 Speaker 4: did she she had it, and then she had some 145 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:40,240 Speaker 4: I mean the room. I hate to gossip about Hollywood, 146 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:44,720 Speaker 4: but she had some some some surgery mishaps on her face. 147 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:50,600 Speaker 3: Hey, look everyone in her class of women from Hollywood. Like, 148 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:55,200 Speaker 3: there's a couple upcoming TV shows we watched trailers for. 149 00:07:55,880 --> 00:08:00,400 Speaker 3: First of all, you can't fight time, can't not age. Secondly, 150 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:03,480 Speaker 3: if you get fillers around your mouth, it's gonna fuck 151 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:06,880 Speaker 3: your face up when when inevitably everything you don't get 152 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:09,440 Speaker 3: filled falls into crevis around it. 153 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:15,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, then you have these weird solid lip inserts, yes, 154 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:18,480 Speaker 4: that are just dangling on their own accord. 155 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:22,520 Speaker 3: And you look like someone beat you in the face 156 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:24,720 Speaker 3: with a shovel and you got out of the hospital 157 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:26,920 Speaker 3: four days prior and put on some lip gloss. 158 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:30,280 Speaker 4: That's happened a few times. We're out of fear and 159 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:34,560 Speaker 4: getting scared about getting older. A few actresses I can 160 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,959 Speaker 4: think of did have work done, maybe back before they 161 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:40,559 Speaker 4: were good at it, and then ended their careers. That's right, 162 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:44,440 Speaker 4: Jennifer Gray. Some other people, Jennifer Gray. 163 00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:47,319 Speaker 3: I feel like her work was good, but it changed. 164 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:50,120 Speaker 3: She made the mistake. No one wanted to see her 165 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:54,520 Speaker 3: with a plain old nose. Her great feature was she 166 00:08:54,679 --> 00:08:57,520 Speaker 3: was a girl who was gorgeous and had that nose right. 167 00:08:57,679 --> 00:09:00,440 Speaker 3: And she basically said to America, Hey, everybody that looks 168 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,600 Speaker 3: like me, that was stoked when you saw me in 169 00:09:02,679 --> 00:09:04,480 Speaker 3: dirty dancing, the fuck yourself. 170 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:07,440 Speaker 4: Did you know my mom got a nose job? No? 171 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:12,080 Speaker 4: In Missoula, Montana. No, in the early nineties, not the 172 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:16,720 Speaker 4: best market for nosework. And also it was the same 173 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:18,960 Speaker 4: thing with my mom. Very pretty, but she didn't like 174 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:22,640 Speaker 4: her Barbara streisand nose, she called it. 175 00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:23,960 Speaker 3: She thought it was too big. 176 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:25,960 Speaker 4: She didn't like there was like a bomb on it. 177 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,320 Speaker 4: So some guy took it. I remember her recovering for 178 00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:34,280 Speaker 4: well over a year. She just had black eyes and 179 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:37,080 Speaker 4: light It was like a year. He really didn't do 180 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,160 Speaker 4: an efficient job. 181 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:39,120 Speaker 3: That's not good. 182 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:42,440 Speaker 4: No, And then afterwards it pretty much looked the same 183 00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:45,439 Speaker 4: to everyone and no one noticed it. She's like, good, 184 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:47,839 Speaker 4: I didn't want anyone. I'm like, yes, of course you did. 185 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:51,240 Speaker 4: Why would you? You don't want anyone to notice, but 186 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:52,440 Speaker 4: you want it to be different. 187 00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:55,360 Speaker 3: How was she in her forties? She was, yeah, it 188 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:56,320 Speaker 3: is okay when. 189 00:09:56,240 --> 00:10:02,200 Speaker 4: That in a belly button ring? Yeah yeah, sorry, started 190 00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:08,400 Speaker 4: running no stuff, naval ring, naval ring stuff, half marathons. 191 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:12,160 Speaker 4: I thought it was cool. I remember thinking it was cool. Well, 192 00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:14,400 Speaker 4: it's like, wow, she's gonna grow I'm gonna grow up, 193 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:16,360 Speaker 4: and she's gonna let me have tattoos. I thought. 194 00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:19,280 Speaker 3: I mean, it's it's her way of saying I'm still 195 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,160 Speaker 3: in the game, which I respect. 196 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:24,560 Speaker 4: Oh, she was in the game bold, But if we're 197 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:27,320 Speaker 4: talking about her, fucking men. 198 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, the game. 199 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:33,679 Speaker 4: That's why did I walk in on this again? If 200 00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:37,400 Speaker 4: I didn't ruin the mood, I came to get some homework. Nice, 201 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:42,040 Speaker 4: I live here too, Nice penis guy that lived in 202 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:43,720 Speaker 4: There's a guy that lived in his van. He had 203 00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:46,000 Speaker 4: one ear day only I think his name was. 204 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,160 Speaker 3: What happened to the other ear? 205 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:50,800 Speaker 4: I don't know. The other year stayed the same? Oh sorry, 206 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:55,400 Speaker 4: the missing one for whatever, he lost his ear. What 207 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:57,880 Speaker 4: happened to the other year It stayed on his head? 208 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,160 Speaker 3: Of course, don't worry about that. 209 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:03,880 Speaker 4: Let's talk more about the missing one sits down taste. 210 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:06,720 Speaker 4: I don't know how he lost it. I assume in 211 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:11,400 Speaker 4: some sort of a Butte Montana brawl. But I kind 212 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,880 Speaker 4: of in retrospect. I liked the guy had all these 213 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:16,720 Speaker 4: rock shirts and a van with a mural on the side. 214 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:19,640 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, and he bought me some bugle boys once 215 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:20,360 Speaker 4: he was nice. 216 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:24,360 Speaker 3: Uh google boys are popular pant Oh yeah, I was 217 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:25,560 Speaker 3: thinking of bugles. 218 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,240 Speaker 4: He bought me a bag of bugles once. 219 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:28,839 Speaker 3: I loved it. 220 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,120 Speaker 4: I ate him in his van. He was a good 221 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:34,119 Speaker 4: could have been a new stepdad. 222 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:38,360 Speaker 3: What was that was Dale? Her boyfriend for a little while? 223 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:40,880 Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, off and on that he'd drive him from 224 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:44,640 Speaker 4: Butte Oh, and my friends had come over and look 225 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:48,319 Speaker 4: at Dale, and then they'd mock him after Dale was gone, 226 00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:50,880 Speaker 4: and I was like, shut up, guys, can't help what 227 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:51,560 Speaker 4: happened to it. 228 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:53,880 Speaker 3: They'd mocked the ear. 229 00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:57,760 Speaker 4: Oh, there's a few things. His hair was something to marvel, 230 00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:03,680 Speaker 4: a little bit of a spiky flat top on top 231 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:05,520 Speaker 4: and there a bit of a mullet and back. 232 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:06,520 Speaker 3: You know what. 233 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:07,680 Speaker 4: He was a partying man. 234 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,520 Speaker 3: His name was Dale. That's the only haircut he could have. 235 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:11,400 Speaker 5: Dale. 236 00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:13,199 Speaker 1: That's required for Dale's. 237 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:17,200 Speaker 4: Oh, Dale, if you're listening out there, Dale, I ain't 238 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:19,240 Speaker 4: mad at you. You're a good man day good man. 239 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:21,360 Speaker 4: You turn your life around with AA. 240 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:25,440 Speaker 3: If you're listening Dale. Oh that's right, you have one 241 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:25,839 Speaker 3: good air. 242 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:27,679 Speaker 4: Yeahs terrible. 243 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:30,839 Speaker 1: That was awful. I'm talking to a real person. 244 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:35,120 Speaker 4: Maybe or yeah maybe not. Yeah, you're always just half 245 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:37,840 Speaker 4: listening Dale. Oh, come on. 246 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:43,120 Speaker 3: My mom when she was in her late forties, early fifties, 247 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:47,359 Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure I told you this already got permanent lipliner. 248 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:48,520 Speaker 3: Did I tell you this story? 249 00:12:48,679 --> 00:12:52,920 Speaker 4: Wow? So she got that's I've never heard. That's like 250 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:53,560 Speaker 4: a new thing. 251 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:57,120 Speaker 3: Yeah it was. It was on your lips exactly. And 252 00:12:57,920 --> 00:12:59,640 Speaker 3: so I think this is the thing is I think 253 00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:02,600 Speaker 3: we're talking about. They were just going through midlife crises, 254 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:05,280 Speaker 3: and it's that thing of like I'm no longer attractive 255 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:06,679 Speaker 3: and I don't know what to do about it, or 256 00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:11,240 Speaker 3: I still want to be. My mom's move was so strange, though, 257 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:15,360 Speaker 3: because she was so I mean, she was happily married, 258 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:20,120 Speaker 3: and she was very much like a you know, I 259 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:22,040 Speaker 3: don't know, my hand's on my hip right now. She's 260 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:23,480 Speaker 3: like one of those kind of women. 261 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:26,640 Speaker 4: Missus Garrett. I don't know, you just I don't know. 262 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:30,599 Speaker 3: She was empowered, she was very you know, self possessed, 263 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:36,280 Speaker 3: self actualized. So she came home one day with a 264 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:40,760 Speaker 3: hot pink line around her lips, and we don't went 265 00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:43,640 Speaker 3: hot pink, she went, well, I think that was so. 266 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:46,520 Speaker 3: I think what happened is her hairdresser convinced her to 267 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:49,280 Speaker 3: do it, and maybe her hairdresser got her license to 268 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:50,760 Speaker 3: do it, right, and so. 269 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,640 Speaker 4: I need to practice on some human lips, that's right. 270 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:55,800 Speaker 3: And it was like, well, what color lipstick? Do you 271 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:58,280 Speaker 3: normally wear? A rust color? Okay, then let me get 272 00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:02,440 Speaker 3: my hot pink. Oh no tattoo line. So it it. 273 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:05,160 Speaker 3: None of it made sense, and I think maybe. 274 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:07,240 Speaker 4: You have to cover it with real lipstick the rest 275 00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:07,840 Speaker 4: of our life. 276 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, but it ended up fading like within a year. 277 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:13,400 Speaker 3: Oh really, But the weirdest part was this, and maybe 278 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:17,040 Speaker 3: this was the beginning. Now we were still early, we 279 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:20,480 Speaker 3: were not nowhere near the alzheimmer's days. But when my 280 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:22,680 Speaker 3: sister and I confronted her on it, which of course 281 00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:27,520 Speaker 3: we did because we were we are very cruel hearted people, sure, 282 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:31,080 Speaker 3: and we can't let one thing go by. Yes, when 283 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:36,400 Speaker 3: we in tandem attacked her with what the fuck is 284 00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:39,760 Speaker 3: on your mouth? She denied it outright that she had 285 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:43,800 Speaker 3: done anything, which it would be like if I turned 286 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:47,720 Speaker 3: around right now, took a sharpie, went like this about 287 00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:49,200 Speaker 3: it with shape? 288 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:51,320 Speaker 4: Why did you put sharpie all over your face? 289 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:53,640 Speaker 3: What are you talking about? I would never put sharpie. 290 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,360 Speaker 4: I kind of. I watched you do it. You picked 291 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:56,000 Speaker 4: up a marker. 292 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:57,320 Speaker 1: I didn't do it. 293 00:14:57,880 --> 00:14:59,120 Speaker 4: Huh yeah. 294 00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:03,000 Speaker 3: Oh, but but i'm your mom. I'm your mom, and 295 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:06,560 Speaker 3: I'm supposed to be totally sane. It was very unnerving. 296 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:09,200 Speaker 4: Let's redo the skit and I'll call your mom instead 297 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:17,040 Speaker 4: of character. Okay, good, good, good, Wow. Well it saves time. 298 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:18,720 Speaker 3: Oh, we're not gonna disc it. 299 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:20,960 Speaker 1: Oh, I was turning away to mother. 300 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:27,920 Speaker 4: Yes, wow, How did you know that's how my mother sounded? 301 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:32,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, I've done some research. Why yes, yes, she's the 302 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:38,520 Speaker 3: bank the bank manager and from I Love Lucy, missus Ricardo. 303 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,960 Speaker 4: It sounded like a dead Night mom. 304 00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:45,760 Speaker 3: Mm hmm. Always a big fan of dead Night. 305 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,440 Speaker 4: Anyway, why'd you put marker on your mouth? 306 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:48,680 Speaker 3: Mom? Didn't do it? 307 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:49,800 Speaker 4: Still doing the skit. 308 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:52,960 Speaker 1: We go in and we go out. How they do 309 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:53,720 Speaker 1: it these days? 310 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:54,920 Speaker 3: It's called Harold. 311 00:15:56,000 --> 00:16:00,000 Speaker 4: It's from the school of Sharna Halpern, made popular by 312 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:03,200 Speaker 4: ow Close book You Can Get out there called the 313 00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:07,000 Speaker 4: Truth in Comedy because people don't just say it's funny 314 00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:11,720 Speaker 4: because it's true. For now a reason. It's because it's true. 315 00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:13,240 Speaker 3: It's because it's in this book. 316 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:17,040 Speaker 4: That phrase is true and the reasoning behind it is true. 317 00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:19,200 Speaker 4: In comedy, that is true is funny. I don't have 318 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:24,400 Speaker 4: I noticed that. Working with April this past week, she 319 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:28,120 Speaker 4: tells a lot of real stories, and the audience was 320 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:30,520 Speaker 4: kind of in that, Oh, we've gotten to know this person, 321 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:33,240 Speaker 4: and then when I do stand up, you don't get 322 00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:38,400 Speaker 4: anywhere near knowing who I am. At all, and it's 323 00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:40,640 Speaker 4: kind of was I was confronted by it. I'm like, 324 00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:44,960 Speaker 4: I think that I probably could talk about myself at 325 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:47,480 Speaker 4: some point, let people in. 326 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:49,720 Speaker 3: But what if it's not your style? 327 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:53,320 Speaker 4: Yeah? What if it's my Yeah, I've got this style 328 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:55,120 Speaker 4: and sometimes I wish I could change it up. But 329 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:58,560 Speaker 4: you can't be like, you know, I'm missing part of 330 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,280 Speaker 4: my penis. I walked in and a dog met, you know, 331 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:03,880 Speaker 4: while they've made up things and then all of a sudden, 332 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:05,439 Speaker 4: here's a story about me and Denver. 333 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:08,800 Speaker 1: Once right, people would be like pick a lane. 334 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:12,040 Speaker 4: I try. I know, I do make an announcement sometimes 335 00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:15,080 Speaker 4: where I'm like, this is a real story. No part 336 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:17,240 Speaker 4: of it is made up. Everything I've set up till 337 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:21,679 Speaker 4: now is made up silly lies, and it seems to work. Okay, 338 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:22,760 Speaker 4: so I'm doing fine. 339 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:25,879 Speaker 3: Listen. What I think we're talking about right now is 340 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,439 Speaker 3: the anxiety that you feel when you are watching the 341 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:31,560 Speaker 3: person that goes before you do good, and then you're like, 342 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:32,879 Speaker 3: what if I don't do this? 343 00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:33,280 Speaker 4: Well? 344 00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:36,600 Speaker 3: What are all the things I'm doing wrong? Based on 345 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,000 Speaker 3: what I'm looking at right now? 346 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:41,040 Speaker 4: That's what I'm thinking when while I'm doing stand up 347 00:17:41,359 --> 00:17:44,199 Speaker 4: during what if I don't do well. I don't know 348 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:45,680 Speaker 4: right now at. 349 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:48,000 Speaker 3: The end of this, and then that's when I forget 350 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:48,800 Speaker 3: the end of the joke. 351 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I do that to my sy It's such 352 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,920 Speaker 4: a head game, or I can make it one. Yes, 353 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,760 Speaker 4: I wonder how it would feel right now mid set 354 00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:59,320 Speaker 4: if I couldn't remember one of my jokes and there 355 00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:04,160 Speaker 4: was a long oh there it's happening. It just happened, 356 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:07,639 Speaker 4: and turns out doesn't feel good, thanks brain. 357 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:10,119 Speaker 3: And then suddenly you see that one guy with his 358 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:11,920 Speaker 3: arms crossed, and that's all you can see. 359 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:14,520 Speaker 4: That's all I just look. I look in the audience, 360 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:16,520 Speaker 4: and I look for all the crossed arms, and I 361 00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:19,119 Speaker 4: focus on those people, ignoring all the people having in 362 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:19,680 Speaker 4: good time. 363 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:22,400 Speaker 3: You know, I just realized all of them. No, there's 364 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:23,720 Speaker 3: I'm sure there's plenty. 365 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:25,399 Speaker 4: Of it's a good fraction of people enjoying me. 366 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:26,919 Speaker 1: I'm sort of a large fraction. 367 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,640 Speaker 3: But it's hard to see those people when you've got 368 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,720 Speaker 3: the army, the arms crossers. They take up so much 369 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:33,520 Speaker 3: emotional space. 370 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:36,600 Speaker 4: I don't know why I need that crossed arm guy 371 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:40,520 Speaker 4: with no sleeves in the hat that references farting to 372 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:43,159 Speaker 4: be on my side. I don't know why I need that. 373 00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:48,280 Speaker 4: I hate Dale. No, not you, Dale, No, it's sorry Dale. 374 00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:50,680 Speaker 3: And again, Dale, I'm sorry about the very cheap joke 375 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:53,600 Speaker 3: I mean about your missing hair. Yeah, I'm no better 376 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:57,160 Speaker 3: than any of Chris's childhood friends. I'm sorry. 377 00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:00,480 Speaker 4: Uh. They would go is so and so over and 378 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:04,320 Speaker 4: they would just cut their hand over an ear to 379 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:08,439 Speaker 4: signify that it's a missing ear. Ah. 380 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:11,399 Speaker 3: Friends, Can I tell you my favorite tweet that's based 381 00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:14,320 Speaker 3: on or based in what we have been talking about, 382 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:17,800 Speaker 3: which is I said I thought my set was going 383 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:21,199 Speaker 3: well and then I saw the blonde guy. Does that 384 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:21,680 Speaker 3: make sense? 385 00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:22,000 Speaker 5: Wait? 386 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:25,840 Speaker 4: Yeah, wait say it again. I feel like I was 387 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:26,920 Speaker 4: using my day earlier. 388 00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:30,280 Speaker 3: Oh, I thought my set was going well until I 389 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:34,480 Speaker 3: saw the blonde guy. It's always a fucking blonde guy 390 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:37,879 Speaker 3: that I see that hates me. Oh, it's always and Aaron. 391 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:40,600 Speaker 3: I'm sorry, but it's always a blonde guy. 392 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:43,760 Speaker 4: Yeah. With me, it's like usually an older women that 393 00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:46,200 Speaker 4: go out together for you know. 394 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,399 Speaker 1: Then they have some wine and they get mouthy. 395 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:51,000 Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, and they do not like I'm no son 396 00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:51,480 Speaker 4: of theirs. 397 00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:55,560 Speaker 3: There's kind of nothing I hate more as an active 398 00:19:56,359 --> 00:19:59,800 Speaker 3: intersectional feminist. Wait I'm not sure if intersection is good 399 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:03,199 Speaker 3: or I've just heard it online a lot. I'm a 400 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:08,480 Speaker 3: very active, proactive feminist, but god damn, you get four 401 00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:12,080 Speaker 3: women in like Morona sweaters who have had too much 402 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:14,040 Speaker 3: wine and think they need to be talking during the 403 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:14,680 Speaker 3: comedy show. 404 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:16,520 Speaker 1: I've never hated women more. 405 00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:19,560 Speaker 4: I know. And it's such a hard call because they 406 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,280 Speaker 4: sometimes they're trying to have fun. You have to make 407 00:20:22,359 --> 00:20:24,920 Speaker 4: sure first that they're not trying to have fun. Yeah, 408 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:27,840 Speaker 4: and they're being mean spirited because when they have a 409 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:31,560 Speaker 4: lot of wine and they're talking and going, oh, they're 410 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:33,680 Speaker 4: talking to a lot. That happens a lot where they're 411 00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:36,160 Speaker 4: just talking to you like it's conversation. They're having fun 412 00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:37,720 Speaker 4: and they think it's part of it. 413 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:40,280 Speaker 3: They like it. Yeah, they're having fun. It's not the 414 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,120 Speaker 3: ones that I can't stand. The ones that I was picturing. 415 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:45,320 Speaker 3: I actually enjoy. Here's the thing. If you get someone 416 00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:46,879 Speaker 3: with a nice as my dad likes to say, a 417 00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:51,280 Speaker 3: nice heat on, that can be the best because they 418 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,679 Speaker 3: it's like playing with a kitten. They have no idea 419 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,560 Speaker 3: what's happening, and they're setting you up perfectly and you 420 00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,840 Speaker 3: just kind of roll with what they do. And comedy 421 00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:05,440 Speaker 3: will happened if you've got like a mouthy like all 422 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:10,080 Speaker 3: wine confidence, mouthy, broad purple teeth, who's coming at you 423 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:11,560 Speaker 3: and telling you how it. 424 00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:15,159 Speaker 4: Is happened in San Francisco. Oh that is friend of 425 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:18,960 Speaker 4: the owner or something. She's somehow friends with someone. 426 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:20,800 Speaker 3: Who's an expert the club. She's an expert. 427 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,440 Speaker 4: I was like, God, you're troublesome. And then she hung 428 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:26,000 Speaker 4: out after the show because she knew everyone. It's like, 429 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:29,480 Speaker 4: oh good, yeah, good, you didn't you're someone that got 430 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:30,280 Speaker 4: in for free. 431 00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:35,480 Speaker 3: Uh so, and that you think this is about you, 432 00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:38,760 Speaker 3: You think this evening should be centered around you, the 433 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:43,119 Speaker 3: person who's earned nothing the club sacrifice nothing. 434 00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:46,640 Speaker 4: The club in Bloomington didn't allow bachelorette parties. 435 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,000 Speaker 3: Nice, Yeah, that's genius. 436 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:52,840 Speaker 4: He said, no, no, no group parties. That's something like 437 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,359 Speaker 4: at Capsity in Austin. They would. They were like, well, 438 00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:59,720 Speaker 4: we're doing great tonight. We got three different bachelorette parties. Oh, 439 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:02,119 Speaker 4: it's packed in there. It's gonna be great. 440 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:03,320 Speaker 3: It's three at one time. 441 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:06,160 Speaker 4: They're just counting human like, yeah, they don't give a shit. 442 00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:08,919 Speaker 4: It's just filling a void. Although I did ever tell 443 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:10,720 Speaker 4: you this, you have a dueling bachelorette. 444 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:13,840 Speaker 3: No, that's a nightmare. Then you're just like a weird 445 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,119 Speaker 3: I mean, then you then you might as well be 446 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:20,920 Speaker 3: like like a comedian at a sitcom taping. Just throw 447 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:21,720 Speaker 3: candy at them. 448 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:25,040 Speaker 4: Oh they wanted to take off your shirt. Yeah, they 449 00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:29,400 Speaker 4: don't say that anymore. Oh that's okay, that's from one. 450 00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:32,200 Speaker 3: That's an old huckle. Yeah, yeah, that's not for modern 451 00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:32,560 Speaker 3: Chris Well. 452 00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:35,760 Speaker 4: I used to look great with my shirt off. Really, No, no, 453 00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:38,920 Speaker 4: it's always been the same. I always had the exact 454 00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:41,720 Speaker 4: same tour. So saw some little kid pictures of me 455 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:43,840 Speaker 4: and I sitting down, I'm like, I have the exact 456 00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:47,280 Speaker 4: same body. Nothing got worse, nothing got better. 457 00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:48,200 Speaker 3: That's lucky. 458 00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:49,560 Speaker 4: Some hairs sprouted up. 459 00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:51,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess you've got a couple here and there. 460 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:52,159 Speaker 4: Yeah. 461 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:53,240 Speaker 3: The hip isn't the same. 462 00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:56,480 Speaker 4: No, no, no, oh, I wish I had my kid hip. 463 00:22:56,600 --> 00:23:01,920 Speaker 3: Oh, all small in the socket. I actually have to 464 00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:06,600 Speaker 3: say though, One night I was lucky enough at the 465 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:10,479 Speaker 3: Washington DC improv I was middling for Margaret Show, and 466 00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:13,600 Speaker 3: Mike Birbiglia was actually our opener that was from like 467 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:17,600 Speaker 3: a hometown, which was crazy. He reminded me of years later, 468 00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:20,600 Speaker 3: and I was like, that was you so weird? But 469 00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:26,320 Speaker 3: there was a bachelorette party that was right down in front, 470 00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:29,119 Speaker 3: but I had the hotel room next to them, so 471 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:31,919 Speaker 3: I listened to them in my hotel room from like 472 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:33,000 Speaker 3: four o'clock on. 473 00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:35,200 Speaker 1: I heard everything they said. 474 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:38,000 Speaker 3: They were out in the hallway, drinking, yelling at one 475 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,560 Speaker 3: of their moms, doing all this stuff. So I just 476 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:42,440 Speaker 3: when I got on stage like they were of course 477 00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:44,480 Speaker 3: a handful, And then when I got on stage, I 478 00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:47,879 Speaker 3: just started telling them about themselves and they were freaking out, 479 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:51,200 Speaker 3: and I like, weirdly, like fake psychic style shut them 480 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:54,160 Speaker 3: down and the lie because you're the girls from room 481 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:57,760 Speaker 3: four sixty three, and they were like and like went 482 00:23:57,920 --> 00:23:58,879 Speaker 3: crazy and you. 483 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:02,200 Speaker 4: Wish you brought the hour dress, but it's okay because 484 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:05,680 Speaker 4: you borrowed gladyses. Didn't you actually know that? 485 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:09,800 Speaker 1: And I somehow got a hold of them. 486 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,840 Speaker 4: That sounds great. I wish I could eavesdrop on audiences 487 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,560 Speaker 4: before I performed for them, I know, right, that's kind 488 00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:20,399 Speaker 4: of what what's his name? Did John? Oh it doesn't. 489 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:21,920 Speaker 4: He was like a clairvoont He had a show. 490 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,200 Speaker 3: Oh, yes, yes, John, that's right. 491 00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:28,680 Speaker 4: Yes, not the politician. I'm sensing someone in here as 492 00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:32,119 Speaker 4: a dad. I'm seeing a j name of John, a dad. 493 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,080 Speaker 4: There's the word dad and the word John. 494 00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:37,200 Speaker 3: I have a dad named John. It's actually Jim. 495 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:40,320 Speaker 4: But okay, your handwriting was weird on the form that 496 00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:41,680 Speaker 4: you filled out before. 497 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:47,600 Speaker 3: The wass your whoops. I actually saw a show when 498 00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:50,840 Speaker 3: I was in Chicago for my terrible short stint in 499 00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:55,040 Speaker 3: Chicago five years ago. We went to the Second City 500 00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:57,600 Speaker 3: one night at their like main stage. 501 00:24:57,280 --> 00:25:01,880 Speaker 4: Show, Dell Close Sharon Hallipurt's stage. They were the second sitting. 502 00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:04,080 Speaker 3: But they were It was a great show with a 503 00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:07,240 Speaker 3: great cast. It was amazing. I mean, those people earn 504 00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:10,479 Speaker 3: their spots and the room is huge. I think it's 505 00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:13,320 Speaker 3: like five hundred people. I mean it's crazy. Okay, So 506 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:17,560 Speaker 3: this guy comes out and he's doing I can't remember 507 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:20,960 Speaker 3: if he was like a TSA security guard. Uh. He 508 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,000 Speaker 3: was dressed up as like something and I can't remember 509 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:27,040 Speaker 3: specifically what it was. But he went out into the 510 00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:31,520 Speaker 3: crowd and he started telling everybody about themselves, and so 511 00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:34,240 Speaker 3: he was like, it was one of my favorite things 512 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:37,480 Speaker 3: I've ever seen. So he was just like, so you 513 00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:40,520 Speaker 3: totally like Rick and this girl just screams at the 514 00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:42,600 Speaker 3: top of her lungs. He goes, he goes, I don't 515 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:44,240 Speaker 3: think you should like Rick. I think he should totally 516 00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:46,359 Speaker 3: break up with him. And he does this whole thing, 517 00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:48,119 Speaker 3: and then he looks over and he's like, oh, and 518 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:51,400 Speaker 3: you with the and then the person He's like doing 519 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:54,000 Speaker 3: this whole interview whatever. And then at the end, so 520 00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:55,920 Speaker 3: he does that to like five people in the most 521 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:59,000 Speaker 3: hilarious way, and then he ends it with this speech 522 00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:02,680 Speaker 3: about how all the people are worried about their their 523 00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:06,840 Speaker 3: online privacy. When they in public, they say more about 524 00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:10,879 Speaker 3: themselves that if anybody's listening, they could get anything that 525 00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:13,280 Speaker 3: they needed from them. And this what happened was this 526 00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:16,199 Speaker 3: guy sits in the audience before the show starts and 527 00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:20,840 Speaker 3: eavesdrops on tables of people talking loudly, remembers what they 528 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:23,160 Speaker 3: talk about, and then just like throws it in their 529 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:23,960 Speaker 3: face during the. 530 00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:25,080 Speaker 4: Show and then admits it. 531 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:30,080 Speaker 3: Yes, tells them basically saying, don't be worried about cyber attacks, 532 00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:32,920 Speaker 3: don't be worried about internet security and your privacy. Keep 533 00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:35,640 Speaker 3: your mouth shut. How do I know I know where 534 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,640 Speaker 3: you live? Like he does. It was one of the 535 00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,119 Speaker 3: most brilliant. 536 00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:40,560 Speaker 1: Things I've ever seen. 537 00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:41,000 Speaker 4: Wow. 538 00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:43,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, it was really really funny. 539 00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:45,160 Speaker 4: And he was just a standard He was an area 540 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:46,640 Speaker 4: improv improv guy. 541 00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:49,560 Speaker 3: But like sketch, you know, that's the those main stage shows. 542 00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:51,040 Speaker 3: This was an all sketch show. 543 00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:51,600 Speaker 5: Wow. 544 00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:53,280 Speaker 1: It was really awesome. 545 00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:57,159 Speaker 4: That is I mean, I want to do that sounds 546 00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:58,679 Speaker 4: fun yeah right yeah. 547 00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:02,200 Speaker 3: Well, and also because when people are in like that setting, 548 00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:03,920 Speaker 3: they talk so loud. 549 00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:07,359 Speaker 1: It drives me crazy. But they talk so loud, and 550 00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:08,000 Speaker 1: they'll say. 551 00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:09,840 Speaker 4: I think if you start talking, they're like, I was 552 00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:12,560 Speaker 4: just talking about that. Oh you were that guy sitting 553 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:14,320 Speaker 4: I guess no one pays attention. 554 00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:15,480 Speaker 1: No they don't. 555 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:20,080 Speaker 4: Well that's amazing. Yeah, speaking of him, I started in 556 00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:24,240 Speaker 4: short form improv your freeze tag. You're let's get a 557 00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:29,840 Speaker 4: occupation and a location, you know, Montana meteorologist, playboy mansion. 558 00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:32,680 Speaker 3: What and you can't combine those two? 559 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:36,480 Speaker 4: What would happen? One time? I got a gay Irish 560 00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:37,160 Speaker 4: weather man. 561 00:27:38,119 --> 00:27:38,719 Speaker 3: What happened? 562 00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:40,600 Speaker 4: Give us nailed it and nailed it? 563 00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:41,480 Speaker 3: Give us a slice? 564 00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:47,639 Speaker 4: Oh no, here, I have some yellow clouds. I don't know. 565 00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:54,320 Speaker 4: I just did something like that, ha ha okay, but 566 00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:56,160 Speaker 4: someone yelled at so I had to do it. It's 567 00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:58,520 Speaker 4: like I don't want to, you know, I think I 568 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:03,280 Speaker 4: know who yelled at Colin Malloy. He's the lead singer 569 00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:07,680 Speaker 4: of the December Well Well well yoused to live in town. 570 00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:09,760 Speaker 4: You know. I do a little name dropping here and there. 571 00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:11,480 Speaker 4: You know I do that on the podcast. 572 00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:12,280 Speaker 1: Do you like to do that? 573 00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:14,879 Speaker 3: Because you do? You say you don't want to do 574 00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:17,320 Speaker 3: Hollywood gossip, but we always end up doing it. 575 00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:20,480 Speaker 4: I name drop at the drop of a hat. I 576 00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:22,520 Speaker 4: drop a name. I mean, if I drop a hat, 577 00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:24,720 Speaker 4: I put a name in the hat like you're gonna 578 00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:26,320 Speaker 4: pick it out, and then I drop the hat. You 579 00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:29,320 Speaker 4: just throw that thing on the floor, pull the name out. 580 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,800 Speaker 4: But the woman that started the improv group, she's a 581 00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:34,600 Speaker 4: woman now. Back then, I guess we could call her 582 00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:37,399 Speaker 4: a girl. I was a boy. But we started this 583 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:41,480 Speaker 4: improv group in Missoula. Yeah, in different bars. We would 584 00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:44,800 Speaker 4: do shows every week and made money. I made a 585 00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:45,560 Speaker 4: living doing it. 586 00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:46,760 Speaker 3: That's amazing. 587 00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:51,200 Speaker 4: It's more consistent than now, I bet. But she lives 588 00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:55,640 Speaker 4: in Cape Town, South Africa now and teaches improv and 589 00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:58,400 Speaker 4: they're doing an improv festival and she asked me to go. 590 00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:03,520 Speaker 4: But I but to South Africa, would my flight get covered, 591 00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:05,600 Speaker 4: but they can't cover the flight, so I don't know 592 00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:07,360 Speaker 4: by it. It would be interesting to go. 593 00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:09,600 Speaker 3: It would cost you like three grand or something, wouldn't it. 594 00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:11,160 Speaker 4: I looked today it was about a thousand. 595 00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:12,840 Speaker 3: That's too much money. 596 00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:15,640 Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know if I can afford to do that. 597 00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:18,920 Speaker 4: And I told her I don't really do improv anymore. 598 00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:22,360 Speaker 3: And that's where Chappy is, So you don't want to 599 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:22,920 Speaker 3: get involved in. 600 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:26,120 Speaker 4: I don't know what are they called dust du that 601 00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:29,200 Speaker 4: they that Chappy movie? I had okay hopes for it. 602 00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:30,800 Speaker 4: I like the other thing they made me. 603 00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:31,840 Speaker 3: Too, with nine. 604 00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:32,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, it was great. 605 00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:33,240 Speaker 3: That's amazing. 606 00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:37,040 Speaker 4: These guys. They made this underbudget movie because they're they're 607 00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:39,880 Speaker 4: they're both like special effects wizards. 608 00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:40,240 Speaker 3: Yeah. 609 00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:42,600 Speaker 4: And then they acted in it and they just made 610 00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:44,880 Speaker 4: it themselves, I guess in front of a green screen. 611 00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:48,200 Speaker 4: But that second movie Chappy with that, who's that group? 612 00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:54,920 Speaker 4: They look like skinhead Diant award diant word no no 613 00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:56,000 Speaker 4: to their acting. 614 00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:59,800 Speaker 3: Do you know that they I didn't see Chappie, but 615 00:29:59,880 --> 00:30:01,680 Speaker 3: I like to reference it because you know, it's a 616 00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:02,160 Speaker 3: funny word. 617 00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:05,640 Speaker 4: It was difficult to watch rough stuff times, yes, just 618 00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:08,840 Speaker 4: the comedy of it. And they're act and Diane Forward. 619 00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:12,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, Diane Ward was on Letterman one night, an episode 620 00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:15,240 Speaker 3: I was watching and when they were done singing their 621 00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:19,960 Speaker 3: very heavy like edium kind of like scary, weird techno song. Yeah, 622 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:21,080 Speaker 3: the audience. 623 00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:23,000 Speaker 1: Burst out laughing, oh wow, like. 624 00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:26,520 Speaker 3: Because it was likely like you oh, like the chorus 625 00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:30,080 Speaker 3: was her talking like a tiny elf. And when when 626 00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:34,600 Speaker 3: it finally was like, the audience. 627 00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:37,000 Speaker 4: Was like, and what did they do? 628 00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:39,280 Speaker 3: They just they just kind of stood there and then 629 00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:41,440 Speaker 3: there was like, you know, this mattery of applause. 630 00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:43,480 Speaker 1: It was it made me laugh so hard. 631 00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:47,800 Speaker 4: Wow. I yeah, I don't get that. I think I 632 00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:50,600 Speaker 4: saw a video and I thought that maybe they were 633 00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:59,800 Speaker 4: just doing characters or unknown poor trashy folks, and I'm like, well, 634 00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:03,480 Speaker 4: I can I like them, yes, on YouTube or something. 635 00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:06,320 Speaker 4: But the fact that they became celebrities. 636 00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:07,480 Speaker 1: I mean I didn't. 637 00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:10,680 Speaker 3: I think Hollywood always, if you are a woman who's 638 00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,440 Speaker 3: like five feet tall and looks like you could right 639 00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:18,280 Speaker 3: now without any special effects makeup, play an elf, Hollywood 640 00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:20,800 Speaker 3: is going to rally around you in every way they 641 00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:21,440 Speaker 3: possibly can. 642 00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:23,720 Speaker 4: We're looking for a dark crystal type. 643 00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:26,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, always with that's willing to. 644 00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:30,840 Speaker 4: Do nude just kind of a short naked labyrinth. 645 00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:35,400 Speaker 3: Girl with no irises or pupils separate. Like maybe just 646 00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:36,880 Speaker 3: one big color would be great. 647 00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:41,160 Speaker 4: Yeah, just black corneas and short bangs, and kind of 648 00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:43,120 Speaker 4: like a female David Bowie. 649 00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:47,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, kind of like flared nostrils, permanently flared nostrils would 650 00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:47,360 Speaker 3: be good. 651 00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:50,840 Speaker 1: And of course big rabbit teeth. 652 00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:54,280 Speaker 4: Oh god, gotta have those nice carrot trumpers. 653 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:58,640 Speaker 3: The two long front ones. I think that's really that's 654 00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:01,520 Speaker 3: really where I all down in the beauty department is 655 00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,960 Speaker 3: I have these very shortened Irish teeth, and if these 656 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:07,840 Speaker 3: two front ones are just like just a half an 657 00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:08,720 Speaker 3: inch longer. 658 00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:11,920 Speaker 4: Do people want long front too front teeth? 659 00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:12,360 Speaker 3: Yeah? 660 00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:15,520 Speaker 4: What is long in the tooth? Me in that phrase old? Yes, 661 00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:16,920 Speaker 4: but what is it there? 662 00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:19,560 Speaker 3: It's got to be a reason, because your teeth grow 663 00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:22,600 Speaker 3: as you grow old. It's like your teeth are growing 664 00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:24,560 Speaker 3: out of your head. So it's like saying you your 665 00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:26,760 Speaker 3: teeth have come out as far as they possibly can. 666 00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:29,760 Speaker 4: My teeth continue to grow like my ears. 667 00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:32,320 Speaker 3: Well no, no, I mean they're like so your baby 668 00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:35,080 Speaker 3: teeth when they go there's a tooth waiting up there 669 00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:38,320 Speaker 3: and it slowly comes out and it's like as if 670 00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:41,080 Speaker 3: and maybe this was like old wives tail style. Sure, 671 00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:44,040 Speaker 3: as if there's a whole bunch of tooth and it 672 00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:46,320 Speaker 3: just comes out like that. It maybe was the thought 673 00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:46,880 Speaker 3: behind it. 674 00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:49,240 Speaker 4: It's kind of a horrifying thought that I don't enjoy. 675 00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:50,560 Speaker 1: Want to hear another one. 676 00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:55,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, babies, oh God, have all these teeth stacked up 677 00:32:56,440 --> 00:33:00,280 Speaker 3: behind like almost like a plate. And that that's why 678 00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:05,520 Speaker 3: it's very hard actually, I mean, obviously babies are very. 679 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:07,800 Speaker 4: Fragile, multiple teeth like a shark. 680 00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:11,200 Speaker 3: Yes, so their baby teeth come out and then your 681 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:14,960 Speaker 3: little teeth and whatever. But they have like these. You 682 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:16,480 Speaker 3: have to see a picture of it. Someone showed me. 683 00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:19,320 Speaker 3: It's not like ten or whatever. But it's like their 684 00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:22,360 Speaker 3: teeth are stacked up in their face so that if 685 00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:25,200 Speaker 3: anything hits them in the face, it won't hurt them, 686 00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:29,240 Speaker 3: like it won't get to the brain. Wow, isn't that crazy? 687 00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:31,960 Speaker 4: So does that mean these other like if their baby 688 00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:34,880 Speaker 4: tooth falls out, there is there a second baby tooth? Sometimes? 689 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:36,240 Speaker 4: Is that a thing that's happened. 690 00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:37,760 Speaker 1: I don't think so. 691 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:39,840 Speaker 3: I someone you have to see the picture of it, 692 00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:42,240 Speaker 3: because maybe they stack in a way where like these 693 00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:44,120 Speaker 3: ones are up here, but then they go back there. 694 00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:45,640 Speaker 3: I'm not sure. 695 00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:46,760 Speaker 4: They just turn to your skull. 696 00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:50,000 Speaker 1: It's I might be lying. 697 00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:53,400 Speaker 4: No, I think I think you're right. I think I've 698 00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:58,160 Speaker 4: seen in like a in a health illustration, multiple stacked 699 00:33:58,240 --> 00:33:59,920 Speaker 4: up teeth, and then I close the book and look 700 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:03,360 Speaker 4: away because that class because it makes me horrified. 701 00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:10,080 Speaker 3: Yes, wait, let me see uh. 702 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:12,360 Speaker 4: Baby teeth, baby teeth stacking stocking. 703 00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:14,920 Speaker 1: No, this is gonna bring me to a terrifying itsyage. 704 00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:17,439 Speaker 4: You're gonna go it's just gonna be a scene from 705 00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:20,719 Speaker 4: uh human centipede. 706 00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:21,800 Speaker 3: Stacked in face. 707 00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:27,000 Speaker 4: Oh no, you're gonna the worst thing ever is gonna 708 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:31,680 Speaker 4: pop up. Baby baby fell off a bike. You're gonna 709 00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:32,960 Speaker 4: see a horrible image. 710 00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:35,080 Speaker 3: It's gonna be like a tooth coming out the side 711 00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:35,440 Speaker 3: of a chain. 712 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:37,879 Speaker 4: If you if that's what you pull up, don't show 713 00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:39,279 Speaker 4: it to me. I'll do show it to me. 714 00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:42,680 Speaker 3: Oh it's I don't know any wi fi. 715 00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:47,360 Speaker 4: I feel like that's happened before. I think that there's 716 00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:51,399 Speaker 4: been in stories about a baby losing a baby tooth 717 00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:54,040 Speaker 4: and getting a second baby tooth, not the permanent one, 718 00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:56,840 Speaker 4: but just another baby tooth. Yeah, if it's early. 719 00:34:56,680 --> 00:35:01,359 Speaker 3: Enough, I guess overall, the idea is that babies are 720 00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:08,040 Speaker 3: engineered to be self protected basically, so they have like, uh, 721 00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:12,000 Speaker 3: you know, oh there's all things comedy. What am I 722 00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:12,480 Speaker 3: doing this for? 723 00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:14,360 Speaker 1: He gives a fuck. 724 00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:20,640 Speaker 4: Somebody looking up at home? Well, then that's what's that 725 00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:22,640 Speaker 4: soft spot on the head that can't be for their 726 00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:25,040 Speaker 4: own good? Well vulnerable. 727 00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:27,879 Speaker 3: Maybe it is for their own good because if their 728 00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:30,400 Speaker 3: head gets hit and the brain swells, there's a place 729 00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:31,160 Speaker 3: for it to go. 730 00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:34,399 Speaker 4: Oh wow, right back down and then eventually I think 731 00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:37,759 Speaker 4: that's called a palette or something that seals up. 732 00:35:39,080 --> 00:35:39,560 Speaker 3: Maybe. 733 00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:41,760 Speaker 4: Oh, it's amazing this baby business. 734 00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:45,920 Speaker 3: I held a baby at work the other day, make 735 00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:47,880 Speaker 3: you feel I don't. 736 00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:49,360 Speaker 1: Want It's not like sad. 737 00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:53,080 Speaker 4: I just really babies are pretty cool. 738 00:35:53,239 --> 00:35:53,919 Speaker 1: They're pretty cool. 739 00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:58,080 Speaker 3: And my boss's baby is she's a second girl, So 740 00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:00,439 Speaker 3: she's the chillest baby of all time because all she's 741 00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:02,640 Speaker 3: doing is trying to see where her sister is and 742 00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:03,320 Speaker 3: what's going. 743 00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:04,720 Speaker 4: On with chill mellow babies. 744 00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:06,839 Speaker 3: Yeah, and she's just having a good time. And when 745 00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:08,439 Speaker 3: you look at her, her eyes go kind of wide 746 00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:10,799 Speaker 3: and she'll like wave at you. It's very cute, but 747 00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:14,160 Speaker 3: she you know, Stephanie Askehita. 748 00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:15,840 Speaker 4: Sure, of course it's her baby. 749 00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:17,600 Speaker 3: She is married to my boss. 750 00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:20,000 Speaker 4: Oh I've slept on their couch. 751 00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:23,000 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, Goldie, he's the best. 752 00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:23,600 Speaker 4: Yeah yeah. 753 00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:25,880 Speaker 3: So this is their baby, this is their second daughter, 754 00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:28,759 Speaker 3: and she is like you put her right there, and 755 00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:31,279 Speaker 3: it's like it makes me feel like I've had nine 756 00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:33,120 Speaker 3: babies of my own. Like she's one of those kind 757 00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:36,840 Speaker 3: of babies doing she's doing her part because normally babies 758 00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:38,880 Speaker 3: earl weird and make me feel like I don't know 759 00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:39,399 Speaker 3: what I'm doing. 760 00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:39,840 Speaker 4: Wear me. 761 00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:44,240 Speaker 1: Babies and they love the rain. 762 00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:48,000 Speaker 4: I know, and it's you know, a lot of times 763 00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:50,120 Speaker 4: you don't want a baby on an airplane, But when 764 00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:53,200 Speaker 4: a baby just grabs your finger, I'm like, their whole 765 00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:55,600 Speaker 4: hand goes around your finger. That's pretty cool. I'd like 766 00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:57,280 Speaker 4: a baby just for a little while. 767 00:36:57,560 --> 00:36:57,799 Speaker 3: Yeah. 768 00:36:57,920 --> 00:36:59,960 Speaker 4: Can I just have them for a few after a baby, 769 00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:03,440 Speaker 4: that's what it's called. I thought I was making up 770 00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:08,080 Speaker 4: a job. Can I just watch it just for an afternoon? 771 00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:09,480 Speaker 4: And I just want to hang out with a baby. 772 00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:12,120 Speaker 4: I wish there's something for like ten dollars an hour. Yeah, 773 00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:15,400 Speaker 4: I know, I'm I'm just blurting things that don't exist 774 00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:18,759 Speaker 4: and I'd like to sit while doing it. 775 00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:21,360 Speaker 1: My thing is that I get bored. 776 00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:24,080 Speaker 3: I still want to do what I want to do, 777 00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:26,960 Speaker 3: so like there'll be like some really quality time like 778 00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:28,160 Speaker 3: this is how I used to hang out with my 779 00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:31,600 Speaker 3: niece Nora, where we'd be like playing a great game. 780 00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:34,239 Speaker 3: We play Sorry seven times in a row, and I'd 781 00:37:34,239 --> 00:37:36,000 Speaker 3: be like, I don't I need to look at my. 782 00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:37,800 Speaker 4: Phone and you just get up and leave the building. 783 00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:40,960 Speaker 3: I'm gonna go to Starbucks for a while. 784 00:37:41,239 --> 00:37:44,080 Speaker 4: You're cool on that blanket, right? You just do you want? 785 00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:46,160 Speaker 4: Do you need to be outside? You want dig and stuff? 786 00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:47,080 Speaker 1: What do you want to do? 787 00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:50,360 Speaker 3: Okay, get out there, buddy. 788 00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:54,440 Speaker 4: It's my dog. It's used once, but here's a bone. 789 00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:58,400 Speaker 3: There's still some marrow in there for you. 790 00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:05,520 Speaker 4: Get get at it. Baby. Yeah, I like. I like, 791 00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:08,480 Speaker 4: I'm more interested in having a baby than at this 792 00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:12,120 Speaker 4: point being a married person. Isn't that backwards? It is? 793 00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:14,040 Speaker 4: What if that's a sitcom? 794 00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:14,600 Speaker 5: What are you? 795 00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:19,320 Speaker 4: I adopt a baby as a single dad? Stock broker? 796 00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:21,680 Speaker 4: I don't there? What do you say You're going to 797 00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:24,399 Speaker 4: be the stock broke? It's like I'm pitching sure, I'm 798 00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:27,560 Speaker 4: a busy dad and I'm Okay, what if it's a 799 00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:33,319 Speaker 4: baby I see is being abused and I kidnapped. I 800 00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:37,160 Speaker 4: kidnapped to raise No, it's a comedy and the funny kid, 801 00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:38,120 Speaker 4: and I'm funny in it. 802 00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:40,840 Speaker 3: We can't have kidnapping, kidnap abuse. 803 00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:44,640 Speaker 4: It's I'm getting the kid away from the bad parent. 804 00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:47,560 Speaker 4: So everyone's on my side. Technically it's scheduled. 805 00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:49,520 Speaker 1: They don't even want to go to that sid eye bond. 806 00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:53,120 Speaker 4: I pay for his college. Then when he's when he's 807 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,640 Speaker 4: twenty one, I bring him back to his original parents 808 00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:57,600 Speaker 4: and say, look at it, what a good job I did. 809 00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:01,279 Speaker 4: And he's wearing a suit and he's like, hello mother, 810 00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:03,880 Speaker 4: Hello father. I'm ready to be in your lives again. 811 00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:06,960 Speaker 4: Goodbye second Dad, and we shake hands. I'm gone. 812 00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:09,560 Speaker 3: And this series is called Goodbye Second Dad. Yes, because 813 00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:13,359 Speaker 3: it starts at that moment where you then have the life, 814 00:39:13,719 --> 00:39:14,759 Speaker 3: having already raised it. 815 00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:19,080 Speaker 4: That's where the show starts. Everything is in flashbacks. The 816 00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:23,640 Speaker 4: show starts with goodbye second Dad. What could that possibly mean? Well, 817 00:39:23,719 --> 00:39:28,160 Speaker 4: let me tell you. Blurred edges. We go back. I'm 818 00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:31,600 Speaker 4: on a bus, lady, child's getting slept in the face. 819 00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:35,440 Speaker 4: I'm like, this ain't here, baby, I got to do. 820 00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:38,240 Speaker 3: Something about this. Here's the thing. I like all of it, 821 00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:42,440 Speaker 3: except you don't strike me as a stockbroker. I feel 822 00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:45,239 Speaker 3: like those people are very intense type A. I'm an 823 00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:46,040 Speaker 3: art serious. 824 00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:47,160 Speaker 4: I'm a welder artist. 825 00:39:47,239 --> 00:39:49,000 Speaker 1: You're a welder that I like. 826 00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:51,800 Speaker 4: Ten thousand dollars a month apartment, but I'm a struggling 827 00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:55,800 Speaker 4: welder art welder artist, Yes, sculptor. 828 00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:58,200 Speaker 1: Great some of your arts in the apartment. 829 00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:02,560 Speaker 4: He's wearing overalls. The baby has a great time. Yes, 830 00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:04,520 Speaker 4: like you can do whatever you want. This guy lives 831 00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:05,080 Speaker 4: like a kid. 832 00:40:05,239 --> 00:40:06,719 Speaker 3: Who else is in this world? Do you have a 833 00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:08,000 Speaker 3: mailman that you're friends with. 834 00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:12,960 Speaker 4: There's a door guy, a door guy who sometimes baby sits. 835 00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:16,120 Speaker 3: But you kidnapped this baby to be with it. Why 836 00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:18,080 Speaker 3: why do you need a baby art show? 837 00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:20,920 Speaker 4: I have museum shows. I have things to do, dates 838 00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:21,440 Speaker 4: and dating. 839 00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:24,440 Speaker 1: Oh nighttime, yeah, night the doorman. 840 00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:28,000 Speaker 3: But the door man, so he gets off work and 841 00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:30,120 Speaker 3: then starts babysitting, has two jobs. 842 00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:31,799 Speaker 4: Yeah, but he loves it. 843 00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:34,239 Speaker 3: He likes the kid too, but you pay him. 844 00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:36,160 Speaker 4: The door guy ends up being its third dad. 845 00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:39,000 Speaker 3: The door guy takes the baby away from you because 846 00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:40,480 Speaker 3: you all you do is party. 847 00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:43,759 Speaker 4: Yeah, the door guys tries to find the original parents. Yeah, 848 00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:45,480 Speaker 4: and then he falls in love with the kid he 849 00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:46,560 Speaker 4: starts raising him. 850 00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:50,239 Speaker 3: Yes, Yeah, and it's this show is called Hello Third Dad, 851 00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:55,280 Speaker 3: My three Dads. We're gonna include the abusive first at. 852 00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:58,879 Speaker 4: Three Dads and a baby Tarnetree. It's already a thing, 853 00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:00,000 Speaker 4: all the baby. 854 00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:02,920 Speaker 3: The ideas are taking and bug. 855 00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:09,840 Speaker 1: Good listen. I was very surly at the beginning of 856 00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:10,480 Speaker 1: this podcast. 857 00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:13,200 Speaker 4: I'm sorry before it started. Well, I think that I 858 00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:14,080 Speaker 4: was being. 859 00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:17,480 Speaker 3: I felt guilty because we were supposed to have Matt 860 00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:19,359 Speaker 3: McCarthy on and I forgot to tell him what time 861 00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:22,080 Speaker 3: it was, and he's such a good guest, and I 862 00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:22,840 Speaker 3: felt terrible. 863 00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:24,200 Speaker 1: And it's okay. 864 00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:26,680 Speaker 3: I don't when I don't eat, I don't. The last 865 00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:29,760 Speaker 3: time I ate was twelve thirty. This is a really 866 00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:32,160 Speaker 3: long it's a wide window and I've realized it. All 867 00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:35,760 Speaker 3: my emotional problems start around around seven fifteen. 868 00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:38,880 Speaker 4: Karen, I'm the same way I've been. I get grumpy 869 00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:39,560 Speaker 4: when I don't eat. 870 00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:40,359 Speaker 3: It's not good. 871 00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:41,680 Speaker 4: It's been a thing in my life. 872 00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:42,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, mean mine too. 873 00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:46,000 Speaker 4: And now I got I mean not to talk shop, 874 00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:48,719 Speaker 4: but that's hip. I'm like, I find him short with 875 00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:50,719 Speaker 4: people because my dies your hip And. 876 00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:54,080 Speaker 3: Do you ever take like advilla or anything for that hip? 877 00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:58,680 Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, every day. Oh okay, yeah, but it's getting 878 00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:00,400 Speaker 4: to the point where advilt just one cut it. 879 00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:00,919 Speaker 3: Yeah. 880 00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:04,000 Speaker 4: So I don't want to become one of these people 881 00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:07,280 Speaker 4: that gets into rush limba drugs. That's a downward spiry. 882 00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:11,680 Speaker 3: I do want to become one of those people give 883 00:42:11,719 --> 00:42:13,719 Speaker 3: me pills that no one can tell what I'm doing. 884 00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:15,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I'm off. 885 00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:19,120 Speaker 4: I'll get it fixed and then I'll be less grumpy. 886 00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:24,000 Speaker 3: Well yeah, I don't know what my solution is, but 887 00:42:24,440 --> 00:42:26,000 Speaker 3: when you get it fixed, you're going to get to 888 00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:28,480 Speaker 3: be on rush limbo pills. You're justified. 889 00:42:28,719 --> 00:42:31,120 Speaker 4: I had the limbo pill with an oxy cootone. I 890 00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:32,839 Speaker 4: had some of that when I got my tonsils out. 891 00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:35,200 Speaker 4: I did not like how they don't make you They 892 00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:38,080 Speaker 4: don't get rid of pain necessarily because they'll sit there 893 00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:40,000 Speaker 4: and I'm like, I'm still in pain. They make you 894 00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:42,120 Speaker 4: not care, which is a weird. 895 00:42:42,160 --> 00:42:43,960 Speaker 3: I don't like, very strange. 896 00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:47,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's kind of like drug drugs like heroin nursome. 897 00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:50,400 Speaker 4: I don't like the narcotic feel of it's not killing 898 00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:53,480 Speaker 4: the pain, it's making you be in a state of 899 00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:55,920 Speaker 4: mime where you don't really care about anything, and that 900 00:42:56,640 --> 00:43:00,080 Speaker 4: I don't like losing control that way. I remember taking 901 00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:01,920 Speaker 4: this stuff. It made me feel a little better, but 902 00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:05,959 Speaker 4: I was restless and almost panicked because I'm like, why 903 00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:09,960 Speaker 4: I don't I'm not in reality, I don't like it. Yeah, 904 00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:12,440 Speaker 4: but that's what booze does. And I think booze is 905 00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:13,120 Speaker 4: pretty sweet. 906 00:43:13,280 --> 00:43:17,360 Speaker 3: But booze slips you in nice and you care. You 907 00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:21,120 Speaker 3: maybe even care too much, but like when you're in booze, 908 00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:24,719 Speaker 3: you're still connected to your self and your feelings. Yeah, yeah, 909 00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:26,759 Speaker 3: because that might makes me think the first time I 910 00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:31,120 Speaker 3: took xanax, and I have you taken xanax, it's the 911 00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:33,719 Speaker 3: same thing, or all of a sudden I didn't care 912 00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:37,960 Speaker 3: about anything at all, and it was the fucking weirdest. 913 00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:42,680 Speaker 3: And I mean, I've lived my life as an absolute lunatic, 914 00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:46,440 Speaker 3: hysteric most of the time, who's just barely hanging on 915 00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:49,200 Speaker 3: to take a Sanix and have all that tape recorder 916 00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:52,000 Speaker 3: in my head shut off and just like stand on 917 00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:55,799 Speaker 3: a porch and stare. I remember part somewhere in my 918 00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:59,200 Speaker 3: brain something went, don't ever do this again. 919 00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:02,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, you will be under a bridge so quickly. 920 00:44:02,480 --> 00:44:04,680 Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't. Yeah, I don't like that. I think 921 00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:06,799 Speaker 4: it scares me. I don't like how it makes me 922 00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:07,200 Speaker 4: feel well. 923 00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:10,840 Speaker 3: And also we're supposed to have motions, like we're supposed 924 00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:14,000 Speaker 3: to have feelings. Yeah it's good. Yeah, it's good for you. 925 00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:17,439 Speaker 3: It's what human beings are like. Yep, I just when 926 00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:19,800 Speaker 3: my blucher gets low, I can't really bitchy. 927 00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:24,480 Speaker 4: That's how I'm the same way, man, I really am okay, 928 00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:27,360 Speaker 4: specifically with the hunger thing. Yes, I like I have 929 00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:29,640 Speaker 4: to eat that like That's how I always put My 930 00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:32,799 Speaker 4: dad said when I was a baby, I just want 931 00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:36,160 Speaker 4: I ate so much, and I would be I'd furiously 932 00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:38,120 Speaker 4: just grab it food and shove it in my mouth, 933 00:44:38,239 --> 00:44:40,799 Speaker 4: and then I was happy. That's always how I've been. 934 00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:42,680 Speaker 1: I think that's always, never. 935 00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:45,480 Speaker 4: Ever eating problem or anything. I think I as a kid, 936 00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:48,120 Speaker 4: I've always eaten like someone's gonna take it away at 937 00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:51,120 Speaker 4: any minute. I have my arm curled around the plate 938 00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:54,760 Speaker 4: and I'm hunched over and I mumble when my brow 939 00:44:54,880 --> 00:44:57,400 Speaker 4: is furrowed. It's very hard to eat the date on 940 00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:59,160 Speaker 4: a date. That's a bad idea to eat with me. 941 00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:01,960 Speaker 4: I just look like to get a angry cave man. 942 00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:05,560 Speaker 3: You don't become self conscious and like straighten up. And 943 00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:08,920 Speaker 3: I was just thinking about the first date that I 944 00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:14,120 Speaker 3: went on after my divorce was such a goddamn mistake. 945 00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:16,399 Speaker 4: Spaghetti I got. 946 00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:20,319 Speaker 3: I ordered two plates of spaghetti. Now, I was so 947 00:45:20,560 --> 00:45:24,759 Speaker 3: nervous and self conscious and I had no I was 948 00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:28,120 Speaker 3: not ready and anyway, but somebody asked me who I 949 00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:30,080 Speaker 3: really liked, and so I was like, I have to 950 00:45:30,080 --> 00:45:31,640 Speaker 3: do this, I have to start doing this again. It 951 00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:34,400 Speaker 3: was I was out of my mind. I was laughing 952 00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:36,919 Speaker 3: about it driving to work this morning. Yeah, because there's 953 00:45:36,920 --> 00:45:40,040 Speaker 3: a shirt. At the time, I'd grown out of it. 954 00:45:40,040 --> 00:45:42,520 Speaker 3: I'd gained so much weight that I'd grown out of it. 955 00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:44,200 Speaker 3: And I remember putting it on to go on this 956 00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:47,239 Speaker 3: date and just being like, this is a mistake, Like, 957 00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:49,200 Speaker 3: don't wear this shirt. Don't go on this date. 958 00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:53,080 Speaker 4: I was so that eating shirt. I haven't eating shirt. 959 00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:56,439 Speaker 3: No, I do too, but no, it was it had 960 00:45:56,480 --> 00:45:58,960 Speaker 3: been my cute shirt and I couldn't. It was. I 961 00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:00,680 Speaker 3: was in denial of the fact that it was no 962 00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:03,840 Speaker 3: longer my cue shirt. And it had horizontal stripes, which 963 00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:09,480 Speaker 3: was bad, Like that's that's for skinny girls. Yeah, so 964 00:46:09,880 --> 00:46:11,800 Speaker 3: I was on the state and it was like anything 965 00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:12,359 Speaker 3: this guy said. 966 00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:13,279 Speaker 1: I was like, I don't like that. 967 00:46:13,719 --> 00:46:18,120 Speaker 3: Every single thing was like my cute Like I thought 968 00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:20,880 Speaker 3: it was kind of interesting and cute was to just 969 00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:24,200 Speaker 3: negate and like kind of make a face and everything. 970 00:46:24,239 --> 00:46:26,160 Speaker 3: And I was just like thinking about that this morning, 971 00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:30,560 Speaker 3: like I wonder if I should send that person a card? Oh, 972 00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:34,239 Speaker 3: like you really tried and that was what must have 973 00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:37,160 Speaker 3: that have been? Like like what a goddamn monster. 974 00:46:37,120 --> 00:46:39,960 Speaker 4: Like being It's like it was like bad improv. 975 00:46:40,480 --> 00:46:43,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, like I'm as the improv partner and I'm just 976 00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:46,040 Speaker 3: have my arms crossing and that's not where we're gonna 977 00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:46,880 Speaker 3: have our occupation. 978 00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:49,680 Speaker 4: Good to see you, officer. I'm not a cop. 979 00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:56,600 Speaker 3: No, oh, get away from my car. We're in a theater. Oh, 980 00:46:57,800 --> 00:47:02,080 Speaker 3: it's so awful. The best I'm not sure why don't 981 00:47:02,160 --> 00:47:03,600 Speaker 3: do that story? Oh, I guess it's just. 982 00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:09,439 Speaker 4: The well who wears vertical stripes? Basketball officials? Yes, that's 983 00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:10,759 Speaker 4: why they always look so good. 984 00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:14,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, they're all slim people at the foot locker own. 985 00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:17,600 Speaker 4: Who else that's it? I mean the same shirt. There 986 00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:19,520 Speaker 4: is no one else that wears vertical stripes. 987 00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:21,640 Speaker 3: Soccer players like fans of soccer. 988 00:47:21,719 --> 00:47:24,200 Speaker 4: I suppose rugby and soccer. Sure that's it. 989 00:47:24,280 --> 00:47:25,359 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's definitely. 990 00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:29,520 Speaker 4: Popcorn man, candy man, that's right, the candy man. They 991 00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:34,120 Speaker 4: can wear verticals. The candy man can wear verd of stripes. 992 00:47:35,960 --> 00:47:38,120 Speaker 4: Who can wear some straight stripes? 993 00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:40,759 Speaker 3: Sprinkle them with goose? 994 00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:47,360 Speaker 4: Is that meat up with them in my van? Is 995 00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:50,000 Speaker 4: room enough for two? The candy man. 996 00:47:50,040 --> 00:47:51,600 Speaker 1: Tan molest you? 997 00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:53,600 Speaker 4: Oh no, why? 998 00:47:53,920 --> 00:47:55,360 Speaker 3: I just like his shirt? 999 00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:57,959 Speaker 4: Why are we leaving to the outskirts of town? 1000 00:47:58,160 --> 00:47:59,200 Speaker 3: Both hands out the window. 1001 00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:04,319 Speaker 4: Sure, I like that. 1002 00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:07,440 Speaker 3: Do you know what you're gonna do for our business 1003 00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:08,040 Speaker 3: class to night? 1004 00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:08,600 Speaker 5: Oh? 1005 00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:12,920 Speaker 4: What? Probably just do my jokes? No, I know some 1006 00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:18,120 Speaker 4: quick one hitters. Oh what do you don't mean? 1007 00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:23,239 Speaker 3: I think I was a serious blood triggersh I do 1008 00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:27,600 Speaker 3: I do that to people? I mean, do you know 1009 00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:29,240 Speaker 3: which jokes and then the order? 1010 00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:29,839 Speaker 5: Oh? 1011 00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:30,880 Speaker 4: No, I never know. 1012 00:48:31,480 --> 00:48:34,359 Speaker 3: I can't do the same jokes I've been doing. I'm 1013 00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:35,640 Speaker 3: so sick of my material. 1014 00:48:36,200 --> 00:48:38,640 Speaker 4: I get sick of it when I haven't done it 1015 00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:42,080 Speaker 4: for a while. But if I'm like times I've worked 1016 00:48:42,080 --> 00:48:45,239 Speaker 4: two weeks in a row saying the same, it's kind 1017 00:48:45,239 --> 00:48:48,160 Speaker 4: of fine. Ways to make it fun, Yeah, I guess 1018 00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:50,799 Speaker 4: that's the key. Yeah, you have to. I remember when 1019 00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:52,600 Speaker 4: I first started doing stand up. I'm like, oh, I'm 1020 00:48:52,640 --> 00:48:55,920 Speaker 4: never gonna repeat myself. I can't believe these comics. I 1021 00:48:55,920 --> 00:48:57,960 Speaker 4: heard that guy say that last week. I didn't get 1022 00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:02,919 Speaker 4: it yet. Yeah, So I just would talk and make 1023 00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:05,440 Speaker 4: stuff up, right. I tried to make a career of it, 1024 00:49:05,520 --> 00:49:07,080 Speaker 4: but I don't think I like it anymore. 1025 00:49:07,239 --> 00:49:11,840 Speaker 3: I go, it's so late now for us. 1026 00:49:11,719 --> 00:49:14,000 Speaker 4: To, I know, to change the way I do things. 1027 00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:16,799 Speaker 1: Yeah, and just a whole career change. 1028 00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:19,960 Speaker 4: It'd be nice to have a nice coach. Like Jokes 1029 00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:22,560 Speaker 4: told verbatim, they work every time they're in an order 1030 00:49:22,600 --> 00:49:26,080 Speaker 4: that tells a story. But I don't do that well. 1031 00:49:26,080 --> 00:49:27,680 Speaker 1: And also because that has nothing to do with you. 1032 00:49:27,880 --> 00:49:28,720 Speaker 1: That's not your style. 1033 00:49:29,280 --> 00:49:29,640 Speaker 4: Style. 1034 00:49:30,239 --> 00:49:32,960 Speaker 3: You grab you grab at food. 1035 00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:36,640 Speaker 4: I watched it, and I don't at times I don't 1036 00:49:36,880 --> 00:49:39,959 Speaker 4: in my meetings with him. I haven't really enjoyed David 1037 00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:42,759 Speaker 4: Krass the person, but I've watched his new special and 1038 00:49:42,800 --> 00:49:45,440 Speaker 4: it was so it was mostly about gun control, and 1039 00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:48,120 Speaker 4: it was really good. It's like, man, he's. 1040 00:49:47,960 --> 00:49:48,439 Speaker 3: A great writer. 1041 00:49:48,560 --> 00:49:49,400 Speaker 4: He's real good. 1042 00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:50,200 Speaker 1: He's a great writer. 1043 00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:52,479 Speaker 4: He's a great He had some silly jokes in there. 1044 00:49:52,840 --> 00:49:56,240 Speaker 3: He that's the thing. He knows exactly the balance because 1045 00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:58,920 Speaker 3: he had this joke. But I mean I saw him 1046 00:49:58,960 --> 00:50:01,960 Speaker 3: probably six years ago more. He did his set at 1047 00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:05,160 Speaker 3: Largo one night and he goes, he was talking about 1048 00:50:05,200 --> 00:50:09,520 Speaker 3: how when the economy collapsed, so was two thousand and 1049 00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:12,839 Speaker 3: seven or eight, Yeah, and he was like, there are 1050 00:50:12,840 --> 00:50:16,240 Speaker 3: millionaires that find out they lost everything and they kill themselves. 1051 00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:18,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, because and he's like, why. 1052 00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:22,040 Speaker 3: Would you do that? Like, like you just can't imagine 1053 00:50:22,080 --> 00:50:25,080 Speaker 3: a life of not being a millionaire or a billionaire man. 1054 00:50:25,160 --> 00:50:26,720 Speaker 1: He was like, billionaires are killing themselves. 1055 00:50:26,719 --> 00:50:29,839 Speaker 6: And he goes, he just hold the pretends to hold 1056 00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:32,760 Speaker 6: up a square and then goes, this isn't very good, 1057 00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:37,319 Speaker 6: butter and I honestly been laughing about that joke for 1058 00:50:37,360 --> 00:50:38,680 Speaker 6: like six years straight. 1059 00:50:38,920 --> 00:50:40,200 Speaker 1: Great joke, it's so good. 1060 00:50:40,320 --> 00:50:42,880 Speaker 4: Yeah, he made me. I laughed hard, and the audience 1061 00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:45,120 Speaker 4: it was nerd. They showed people leaving there was because 1062 00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:47,840 Speaker 4: he was talking to blue Lives, murder and stuff. He 1063 00:50:47,880 --> 00:50:51,160 Speaker 4: said a bunch of oh shit, yeah he was. I mean, 1064 00:50:51,160 --> 00:50:53,640 Speaker 4: he was saying crazy stuff that had scared me so 1065 00:50:53,760 --> 00:50:55,959 Speaker 4: much to think about saying. So I was like, wow, 1066 00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:59,040 Speaker 4: that's I think that. Watching that made me think more 1067 00:50:59,040 --> 00:51:02,360 Speaker 4: about my meaningless jokes. 1068 00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:04,479 Speaker 3: Yeah, but you don't. 1069 00:51:04,719 --> 00:51:08,320 Speaker 4: I do take a stance with circumcision. No one wants 1070 00:51:09,080 --> 00:51:11,200 Speaker 4: I do during my act. I'm like, that's I don't 1071 00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:11,799 Speaker 4: think it's good. 1072 00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:14,200 Speaker 3: I know you really fight it. You must rail it. 1073 00:51:14,280 --> 00:51:16,160 Speaker 4: I'm not even a baby maker. 1074 00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:16,799 Speaker 3: That's right. 1075 00:51:17,360 --> 00:51:18,600 Speaker 1: It's the concept you don't like. 1076 00:51:18,680 --> 00:51:22,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't like it. You don't come my doctor 1077 00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:27,360 Speaker 4: signed my circumcision. There's a perfect ass. Is that typewriter? 1078 00:51:27,640 --> 00:51:30,600 Speaker 4: I don't know there is an ass? There's an ass. 1079 00:51:30,600 --> 00:51:31,640 Speaker 4: I don't know if he signed it. 1080 00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:35,239 Speaker 1: Like Zoro, doctor Steve, that asshole. 1081 00:51:35,120 --> 00:51:38,120 Speaker 4: Tiny little brand ow. 1082 00:51:39,160 --> 00:51:42,600 Speaker 3: That's the doctor's voice, not the baby's voice. 1083 00:51:43,520 --> 00:51:44,319 Speaker 4: You baby dot. 1084 00:51:44,440 --> 00:51:48,719 Speaker 3: You can The one doctor that shouldn't be doing circumcision 1085 00:51:48,840 --> 00:51:49,760 Speaker 3: is a baby doctor. 1086 00:51:49,840 --> 00:51:52,640 Speaker 4: You could barely hold that rattle. Don't give him a scalpel. 1087 00:51:52,920 --> 00:51:54,120 Speaker 4: Here we go, Yeah. 1088 00:51:54,080 --> 00:51:58,400 Speaker 3: Don't bring it over here. Your comedy doesn't compare to 1089 00:51:58,440 --> 00:52:02,320 Speaker 3: anybody else's. You can't compare yourself because you are so 1090 00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:04,560 Speaker 3: different than almost every comedian. 1091 00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:07,320 Speaker 1: Well, well, thanks, it's true. 1092 00:52:07,520 --> 00:52:09,160 Speaker 4: I'm sorry, I guess it is. 1093 00:52:09,520 --> 00:52:10,400 Speaker 1: No, it's the best. 1094 00:52:11,280 --> 00:52:13,600 Speaker 3: Are you kidding me? There's people go to any open mic. 1095 00:52:14,080 --> 00:52:17,040 Speaker 3: Every single schlove that's standing up there is exactly like 1096 00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:20,440 Speaker 3: the one that got on before. You have you have 1097 00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:26,520 Speaker 3: created an act that is you, but it is also 1098 00:52:27,880 --> 00:52:29,759 Speaker 3: presentational comedy performance. 1099 00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:34,040 Speaker 4: But sometimes there thank you. There's also a tone in 1100 00:52:34,080 --> 00:52:37,520 Speaker 4: it is that I'm ill prepared or lacking confidence, which 1101 00:52:38,080 --> 00:52:41,560 Speaker 4: in front of on the road or something, it doesn't work. 1102 00:52:41,640 --> 00:52:43,880 Speaker 4: They see that and they're like, oh, he doesn't even 1103 00:52:44,440 --> 00:52:46,560 Speaker 4: he can't even pronounce some of these words. 1104 00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:47,080 Speaker 3: I know. 1105 00:52:47,239 --> 00:52:48,440 Speaker 1: I hate that so much. 1106 00:52:48,600 --> 00:52:51,560 Speaker 4: It's like, no, it's my things, my YouTube comments on 1107 00:52:51,680 --> 00:52:54,800 Speaker 4: my con inerts, like this guy messed up four times 1108 00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:58,360 Speaker 4: and then he did on purpose. Idiots, you're an idiot, 1109 00:52:58,440 --> 00:53:00,600 Speaker 4: and then it goes racial and then I stop reading. 1110 00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:02,400 Speaker 3: Never read. 1111 00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:08,239 Speaker 4: I was like commenting back on some of them. No, 1112 00:53:08,600 --> 00:53:12,040 Speaker 4: it's like, oh thanks a lot, guys, Oh sorry, dude, 1113 00:53:12,200 --> 00:53:15,200 Speaker 4: Like some of them would apologize and my job well done. 1114 00:53:15,920 --> 00:53:19,200 Speaker 4: That was a good three hours two in the morning spent. 1115 00:53:20,440 --> 00:53:22,920 Speaker 3: That's permanently seared into your brain. 1116 00:53:23,040 --> 00:53:25,800 Speaker 4: Got to have the approval of strangers. It's so strange. 1117 00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:29,320 Speaker 3: But the place to get it is not the YouTube comments. No, 1118 00:53:29,480 --> 00:53:29,839 Speaker 3: it is. 1119 00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:34,760 Speaker 4: Not maybe a family meal with my family. There's people 1120 00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:36,320 Speaker 4: that I should want their approval. 1121 00:53:36,520 --> 00:53:39,160 Speaker 3: Ask your family to bring strangers to the next family meal. 1122 00:53:39,800 --> 00:53:43,440 Speaker 3: That's how you're going to bridge that distance. Also tonight 1123 00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:45,879 Speaker 3: where we're going to have a show and I don't 1124 00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:49,000 Speaker 3: care how many people show up, but I mean it 1125 00:53:49,080 --> 00:53:52,960 Speaker 3: doesn't And if they show up and there's a guy 1126 00:53:52,960 --> 00:53:54,840 Speaker 3: who work with Amos who's great, and he came to 1127 00:53:54,880 --> 00:53:58,600 Speaker 3: our last one and is it famous? Yes, tiny cookies, 1128 00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:05,680 Speaker 3: he's gonna say. And he told me, he's like, we're 1129 00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:09,680 Speaker 3: gonna come again. He brought his girlfriend last time, and uh, 1130 00:54:09,800 --> 00:54:12,239 Speaker 3: I said, please be as loud as you can, because look, 1131 00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:15,600 Speaker 3: the last show, the audience was like pin drop silent, 1132 00:54:15,680 --> 00:54:16,440 Speaker 3: you were gone. 1133 00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:20,840 Speaker 4: They were so quiet, weird. Yeah, I wonder what because 1134 00:54:20,880 --> 00:54:23,000 Speaker 4: they're coming again? Is that why you don't want to 1135 00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:25,640 Speaker 4: do your jokes? If one person I don't think I 1136 00:54:25,640 --> 00:54:27,480 Speaker 4: did a set last time. There's times where you have 1137 00:54:27,480 --> 00:54:31,320 Speaker 4: two shows and someone sticks around one person and I'll 1138 00:54:31,640 --> 00:54:33,320 Speaker 4: try to do a whole new act just because of 1139 00:54:33,400 --> 00:54:35,799 Speaker 4: that one person, and it's not nearly as good because 1140 00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:37,759 Speaker 4: I did my good jokes. I was like, well, I 1141 00:54:37,760 --> 00:54:40,280 Speaker 4: don't want that person to hear anything they've heard before, 1142 00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:42,680 Speaker 4: so let me tabotage the whole concert. 1143 00:54:42,880 --> 00:54:47,160 Speaker 3: It's funny. I think that's left over nineties like mentality 1144 00:54:47,200 --> 00:54:49,839 Speaker 3: because I had the same thing we're repeating. I would 1145 00:54:49,880 --> 00:54:52,040 Speaker 3: write the worst shit in the world, but it was 1146 00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:53,920 Speaker 3: just because I couldn't repeat it. 1147 00:54:53,960 --> 00:54:55,880 Speaker 4: Was like, and it's fun to say new stuff. 1148 00:54:55,880 --> 00:54:58,919 Speaker 3: Im mortal sin it is, and it's fun to make 1149 00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:01,400 Speaker 3: up this and said that you have to say new 1150 00:55:01,440 --> 00:55:03,080 Speaker 3: stuff or you will be the worst. 1151 00:55:03,280 --> 00:55:03,960 Speaker 1: Right, that's a. 1152 00:55:03,880 --> 00:55:06,520 Speaker 3: Good mentality, I think for a comedian. Yeah, because when 1153 00:55:06,560 --> 00:55:08,239 Speaker 3: I am in my I don't care, and I'll do 1154 00:55:08,280 --> 00:55:10,280 Speaker 3: the same thing over and over. It is deadly. 1155 00:55:10,560 --> 00:55:11,200 Speaker 4: I hate it. 1156 00:55:11,640 --> 00:55:14,080 Speaker 3: I can tell other people don't like it. There's no 1157 00:55:14,120 --> 00:55:15,279 Speaker 3: reason for me to be doing it. 1158 00:55:15,320 --> 00:55:17,040 Speaker 4: Because of the way you're doing it. I can tell 1159 00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:18,160 Speaker 4: you she's not having fun. 1160 00:55:18,280 --> 00:55:21,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, not having fun. You're not connected, you're not actually 1161 00:55:21,640 --> 00:55:24,879 Speaker 3: trying to express anything like they can smell that, even 1162 00:55:24,920 --> 00:55:26,360 Speaker 3: if they don't know exactly what I am you. 1163 00:55:26,440 --> 00:55:29,840 Speaker 4: I don't hate you, the audience. I hate my words, 1164 00:55:29,920 --> 00:55:32,960 Speaker 4: and I'm saying them again. Don't get me wrong. This 1165 00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:33,799 Speaker 4: isn't about you. 1166 00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:36,799 Speaker 3: Stop holding up that mirror and maybe I'll stop attacking you, 1167 00:55:37,360 --> 00:55:39,719 Speaker 3: is what I like to say. I actually did a set. 1168 00:55:39,440 --> 00:55:41,160 Speaker 4: Though, Oh the mirrors of you. 1169 00:55:41,840 --> 00:55:42,239 Speaker 3: That's right. 1170 00:55:42,360 --> 00:55:44,040 Speaker 1: I have to look at my own they're just holding 1171 00:55:44,080 --> 00:55:44,319 Speaker 1: it up. 1172 00:55:45,200 --> 00:55:46,880 Speaker 3: Uh. The Walsh. 1173 00:55:48,280 --> 00:55:52,640 Speaker 4: Matt and Chris, Chris, Chris and the Walsh brothers. Yes, Chris. 1174 00:55:52,680 --> 00:55:56,279 Speaker 3: And then it's Chris's show. Yes, Matt Walsh is the 1175 00:55:56,320 --> 00:55:58,960 Speaker 3: actor that's on Yes, Yes, who is amazing and I 1176 00:55:59,000 --> 00:55:59,560 Speaker 3: love Yes. 1177 00:55:59,719 --> 00:56:02,480 Speaker 1: But it was Chris's show. 1178 00:56:02,280 --> 00:56:05,040 Speaker 3: At the Steve Alln Theater and I had all my 1179 00:56:05,120 --> 00:56:07,839 Speaker 3: jokes on a notebook and then I just it was like, 1180 00:56:08,120 --> 00:56:11,480 Speaker 3: there weren't that many people there, and I was just like, 1181 00:56:11,560 --> 00:56:13,560 Speaker 3: what is the point of you even doing comedy If 1182 00:56:13,560 --> 00:56:16,680 Speaker 3: you're just going to read these same jokes off? What 1183 00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:19,040 Speaker 3: is the point? So then I didn't look at my 1184 00:56:19,040 --> 00:56:22,120 Speaker 3: book at all and I was just rambling. And at 1185 00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:24,640 Speaker 3: the end, even though it did feel kind of embarrassing 1186 00:56:24,640 --> 00:56:27,720 Speaker 3: and I didn't kill like I always have to or whatever, 1187 00:56:28,080 --> 00:56:30,080 Speaker 3: but at the end, I was like, I'm glad that's 1188 00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:30,600 Speaker 3: what I did. 1189 00:56:30,719 --> 00:56:32,000 Speaker 1: Instead of doing well with. 1190 00:56:32,040 --> 00:56:35,759 Speaker 3: Things that are like that's just like ringing the same 1191 00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:37,280 Speaker 3: bell over and over or something. 1192 00:56:37,640 --> 00:56:40,040 Speaker 4: I don't know, sometimes it's fun to just take them 1193 00:56:40,080 --> 00:56:42,120 Speaker 4: and have it be topic bag. I'm going to have 1194 00:56:42,200 --> 00:56:44,320 Speaker 4: all I'm going to do all my jokes about food 1195 00:56:44,400 --> 00:56:47,640 Speaker 4: or whatever. Pull a real gap again. David Walsh. 1196 00:56:47,680 --> 00:56:49,000 Speaker 3: That's his brother David. 1197 00:56:49,160 --> 00:56:51,839 Speaker 4: Yeah, he left town. So this waltsh brothers And now 1198 00:56:51,880 --> 00:56:52,520 Speaker 4: there's just Chris. 1199 00:56:52,640 --> 00:56:56,279 Speaker 3: David like went with his family. Yeah, took that he 1200 00:56:56,320 --> 00:56:57,280 Speaker 3: had a baby, didn't. 1201 00:56:57,040 --> 00:56:58,640 Speaker 4: He had a baby, took the baby with him. He 1202 00:56:58,680 --> 00:57:00,839 Speaker 4: didn't leave it with someone like me who was an 1203 00:57:00,880 --> 00:57:02,640 Speaker 4: eligible part time. 1204 00:57:02,520 --> 00:57:05,799 Speaker 3: Dad, just a welder looking for a baby, just. 1205 00:57:05,800 --> 00:57:08,520 Speaker 4: Looking for inspiration. Everything about coming. 1206 00:57:08,360 --> 00:57:13,640 Speaker 3: Up your sitcom is suspicious and seems legally dangerous. 1207 00:57:13,880 --> 00:57:15,919 Speaker 4: You're being a TV executive right now. 1208 00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:20,120 Speaker 3: No, I would say, right now, I'm being a concerned 1209 00:57:20,280 --> 00:57:23,400 Speaker 3: Midwestern mother. Okay, this feels dangerous. 1210 00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:26,800 Speaker 4: I'd say, well, it's just it's riding that line. You know. 1211 00:57:27,320 --> 00:57:32,120 Speaker 4: Is kidnapping always bad? Right, here's an example of it 1212 00:57:32,160 --> 00:57:35,320 Speaker 4: being a good thing for a kid. And get closer. 1213 00:57:35,760 --> 00:57:38,440 Speaker 3: Is child abuse always upsetting? 1214 00:57:38,600 --> 00:57:42,200 Speaker 4: Or could we use left on my porch by gypsies? 1215 00:57:42,920 --> 00:57:45,480 Speaker 3: There we go be happy, but then we leave the 1216 00:57:45,480 --> 00:57:48,520 Speaker 3: gypsies in right because they're hot right now? Have you 1217 00:57:48,560 --> 00:57:49,920 Speaker 3: seen my big fat gypsy. 1218 00:57:49,600 --> 00:57:52,480 Speaker 4: Wedding diante word, Yeah, gypsies, they're the whole new thing. 1219 00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:53,880 Speaker 1: Are they gypsies? 1220 00:57:53,920 --> 00:57:56,240 Speaker 4: Is there a big fat gypsy wedding? Yeah, there is 1221 00:57:56,280 --> 00:57:58,680 Speaker 4: a show where I saw where they were, Like it 1222 00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:01,680 Speaker 4: was surprising. I didn't know. And gypsy is a derogatory 1223 00:58:01,680 --> 00:58:03,920 Speaker 4: where you're not supposed to say that, right, It's like 1224 00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:05,080 Speaker 4: calling someone an eskimo? 1225 00:58:06,240 --> 00:58:06,880 Speaker 3: Is that bad? 1226 00:58:07,240 --> 00:58:11,720 Speaker 4: The traveling group? It's a gypsy? I think gypsy. I 1227 00:58:11,720 --> 00:58:14,240 Speaker 4: think it's like a bad word. No, it is. 1228 00:58:14,280 --> 00:58:17,080 Speaker 3: They'd like to know in the name of this TV show. 1229 00:58:17,480 --> 00:58:21,760 Speaker 4: Well, they probably got got named by an executive, some racest. 1230 00:58:21,840 --> 00:58:24,600 Speaker 4: But it's so funny that it's they get married early. 1231 00:58:24,640 --> 00:58:27,760 Speaker 4: They're always tanning and stuff. Yes, in that big. 1232 00:58:27,560 --> 00:58:30,520 Speaker 3: Big earrings, big necklaces. They all look. 1233 00:58:30,560 --> 00:58:34,640 Speaker 4: All stolen, they don't. They steal everything? 1234 00:58:36,680 --> 00:58:42,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, like these ones live in like Alabama or whatever. 1235 00:58:42,800 --> 00:58:44,880 Speaker 3: They have a house and kids and big s u. 1236 00:58:45,160 --> 00:58:47,920 Speaker 4: Money, bad money. Didn't they have the collection of money? 1237 00:58:47,960 --> 00:58:52,520 Speaker 7: They have gorgeous barbecues they always having stolen. They've stolen 1238 00:58:52,600 --> 00:58:57,160 Speaker 7: the money and the barbecuer. We're going to get strangled 1239 00:58:57,520 --> 00:58:58,280 Speaker 7: by gypsies. 1240 00:58:58,400 --> 00:59:01,680 Speaker 4: Gypsies are coming, and the jingling and jangling of their 1241 00:59:01,680 --> 00:59:05,680 Speaker 4: tooth necklace. I can hear you come and gypsy. 1242 00:59:05,160 --> 00:59:08,440 Speaker 3: You're thinking of you're thinking of a witch doctor. 1243 00:59:08,600 --> 00:59:12,240 Speaker 4: Oh I saw the witch doctor and this is what 1244 00:59:12,320 --> 00:59:12,680 Speaker 4: he said. 1245 00:59:12,800 --> 00:59:15,360 Speaker 3: What did he say? Yes? 1246 00:59:16,280 --> 00:59:21,200 Speaker 4: Oh, well a lot of ingang Uh yeah, I guess 1247 00:59:21,280 --> 00:59:26,920 Speaker 4: I'm confusing gypsy a voodoo. I'm thinking of voodoo. No, 1248 00:59:27,200 --> 00:59:30,880 Speaker 4: this whole time, I've been thinking about these voodoo voodoo tribes. Well, 1249 00:59:30,920 --> 00:59:33,480 Speaker 4: they have the teeth necklace, and that is true. They 1250 00:59:33,520 --> 00:59:36,040 Speaker 4: don't have the ear rings though, and they ain't getting. 1251 00:59:35,760 --> 00:59:37,160 Speaker 3: Married why not? 1252 00:59:37,640 --> 00:59:47,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's they're always playing with dolls, voodoo dolls. You 1253 00:59:47,240 --> 00:59:47,840 Speaker 4: know what I'm saying. 1254 00:59:47,880 --> 00:59:49,800 Speaker 3: I'm just trying to leave you in some silence for 1255 00:59:49,840 --> 00:59:50,200 Speaker 3: a while. 1256 00:59:52,320 --> 00:59:56,439 Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, wow, looks like we're coming up on the hour? 1257 00:59:56,680 --> 00:59:57,320 Speaker 1: Are we really? 1258 00:59:57,520 --> 00:59:58,240 Speaker 3: Yeah? 1259 00:59:58,240 --> 01:00:01,920 Speaker 4: I'm fast, We're life fucking we are talking machines. 1260 01:00:01,720 --> 01:00:05,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, we really are. Yeah, And we sure do enjoy ourselves. 1261 01:00:05,480 --> 01:00:07,400 Speaker 4: And if there are lulls, hey, you know what. You 1262 01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:09,600 Speaker 4: know what I've found out from half a dozen people 1263 01:00:09,640 --> 01:00:10,959 Speaker 4: on Twitter, they enjoy us too. 1264 01:00:11,560 --> 01:00:13,920 Speaker 1: They enjoy the lulls, the joys. 1265 01:00:14,200 --> 01:00:15,040 Speaker 3: That's that's the key. 1266 01:00:15,080 --> 01:00:17,960 Speaker 4: A lot of people love all lulls, but pregnant pauses 1267 01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:20,720 Speaker 4: it's the key to it. Like tig Todd Berry, this 1268 01:00:20,800 --> 01:00:26,440 Speaker 4: podcast where we promise pauses, yeah, you and they're funny. 1269 01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:29,120 Speaker 4: I used to talk a mile a minute. I thought 1270 01:00:29,160 --> 01:00:32,400 Speaker 4: you had to fill every moment with words. I bet 1271 01:00:32,600 --> 01:00:35,080 Speaker 4: and I watched Tig and I'm like, wow, she uses 1272 01:00:36,280 --> 01:00:41,640 Speaker 4: silence and gets uh during jokes and it gets it 1273 01:00:41,680 --> 01:00:44,400 Speaker 4: was It was important for me to discover. 1274 01:00:44,240 --> 01:00:45,720 Speaker 1: Well, yeah, it's a sign of confidence. 1275 01:00:45,920 --> 01:00:49,240 Speaker 4: It's timing. It's timing means you can be slow too. 1276 01:00:49,760 --> 01:00:51,959 Speaker 4: I think I always thought timing was like you gotta 1277 01:00:51,960 --> 01:00:53,080 Speaker 4: fill all the time. 1278 01:00:52,840 --> 01:00:56,160 Speaker 3: With words and really ding the last word elbow out. 1279 01:00:56,520 --> 01:00:58,640 Speaker 4: That's why I do. I go and then I wink 1280 01:00:58,720 --> 01:01:01,200 Speaker 4: and I do to kind of get a little of 1281 01:01:01,240 --> 01:01:04,200 Speaker 4: this guy thumbed to the side always yeah, there's no 1282 01:01:04,200 --> 01:01:04,600 Speaker 4: one there. 1283 01:01:04,720 --> 01:01:07,680 Speaker 3: It's just the invisible guy on stage with you, my 1284 01:01:07,840 --> 01:01:11,160 Speaker 3: idea guy, this guy over here. Am I right? 1285 01:01:12,200 --> 01:01:14,680 Speaker 4: Oh that's fun though. 1286 01:01:15,440 --> 01:01:24,640 Speaker 3: What's our parting thought? Be well, you miss the car. 1287 01:01:25,040 --> 01:01:30,040 Speaker 4: Sometimes I missed the idea of what we had in 1288 01:01:30,080 --> 01:01:33,680 Speaker 4: the beginning. I went to the airport and I was 1289 01:01:33,880 --> 01:01:37,160 Speaker 4: just talking to the uber driver and he said, it's 1290 01:01:37,200 --> 01:01:40,280 Speaker 4: so interesting here to watch all these people coming and going. 1291 01:01:40,880 --> 01:01:42,920 Speaker 4: You don't know where they're going, what their story is, 1292 01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:45,120 Speaker 4: and I'm like, I had a podcast where I told 1293 01:01:45,200 --> 01:01:47,200 Speaker 4: him about He's like, I thought about doing that? 1294 01:01:47,800 --> 01:01:48,480 Speaker 3: Oh did he? 1295 01:01:49,240 --> 01:01:51,520 Speaker 4: Yeah? He was like he probably is. Now I'm like, 1296 01:01:51,640 --> 01:01:53,640 Speaker 4: do it. Go ahead and do it also. But it 1297 01:01:53,680 --> 01:01:55,680 Speaker 4: was horrible to be at the airport. It always was. 1298 01:01:55,720 --> 01:01:59,000 Speaker 4: It brought me, you know, I wasn't comedically filled with grief. 1299 01:01:59,160 --> 01:02:01,840 Speaker 4: It was hard to work straight. Neither of us look 1300 01:02:01,920 --> 01:02:02,680 Speaker 4: forward to it. 1301 01:02:02,680 --> 01:02:03,160 Speaker 3: It sucks. 1302 01:02:03,200 --> 01:02:04,520 Speaker 4: Someone was going to die. 1303 01:02:05,120 --> 01:02:08,600 Speaker 3: It sucked, but it was The concept was it was 1304 01:02:08,640 --> 01:02:09,919 Speaker 3: a fun thing to act out. 1305 01:02:10,120 --> 01:02:10,440 Speaker 4: Yeah. 1306 01:02:11,000 --> 01:02:11,320 Speaker 3: Uh. 1307 01:02:11,360 --> 01:02:15,720 Speaker 1: And it kept topics rolling by us, so like. 1308 01:02:15,920 --> 01:02:18,160 Speaker 4: Literal or we were rolling by the welling. 1309 01:02:19,480 --> 01:02:19,600 Speaker 3: Uh. 1310 01:02:19,960 --> 01:02:20,600 Speaker 4: But I don't know. 1311 01:02:20,640 --> 01:02:23,760 Speaker 3: There's something about a studio like us doing it in 1312 01:02:23,800 --> 01:02:28,560 Speaker 3: the studio that I enjoy equally in a different way. 1313 01:02:28,920 --> 01:02:33,080 Speaker 4: And I think that the subject matter is better and 1314 01:02:33,120 --> 01:02:36,640 Speaker 4: we feel professionally feel like, you know, I'm following it. 1315 01:02:36,720 --> 01:02:39,280 Speaker 4: My dad was a DJ. You know that's right, radio guy? 1316 01:02:39,520 --> 01:02:41,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you inherited this. 1317 01:02:41,320 --> 01:02:45,080 Speaker 4: This feels professional. Yeah, this is what's all unprofessional? Being 1318 01:02:45,120 --> 01:02:49,080 Speaker 4: in an eight han accord almost killing people not professional? 1319 01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:50,240 Speaker 4: To kill your guests? 1320 01:02:50,320 --> 01:02:52,120 Speaker 1: Wait, is yours is an No eight too? 1321 01:02:52,400 --> 01:03:00,040 Speaker 4: I haven't no, Wait, I mean I'm just on the 1322 01:03:00,080 --> 01:03:04,600 Speaker 4: heels of saying we're professionals. Karen Burp's into the mic. 1323 01:03:05,360 --> 01:03:07,040 Speaker 3: I just thought it would be a nice bookend. 1324 01:03:07,600 --> 01:03:14,520 Speaker 4: I mean, what is this, Howard Stern? Yeah, you just 1325 01:03:14,600 --> 01:03:18,160 Speaker 4: decide that from then on, this is what we're gonna down, 1326 01:03:18,400 --> 01:03:21,160 Speaker 4: Howard Stern. Now, thank you for listening to Howard Stern's 1327 01:03:21,240 --> 01:03:21,959 Speaker 4: comedy Hour. 1328 01:03:23,600 --> 01:03:25,240 Speaker 3: I can't do it again. I don't want to force it. 1329 01:03:25,400 --> 01:03:29,360 Speaker 4: Oh okay, yeah, really that was your opportunity. Fine, we're 1330 01:03:29,440 --> 01:03:30,320 Speaker 4: still do you need one? 1331 01:03:30,440 --> 01:03:32,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, we can't be Howard Sterne. If I can't burp 1332 01:03:32,400 --> 01:03:34,000 Speaker 3: twice in a row, that's. 1333 01:03:33,880 --> 01:03:36,920 Speaker 4: That's the key of good broadcast. That I have nothing 1334 01:03:36,960 --> 01:03:37,400 Speaker 4: to plug. 1335 01:03:38,000 --> 01:03:40,560 Speaker 3: Uh, I don't think I have anything to plug either. 1336 01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:43,880 Speaker 4: I have shows. By the time this arison'll be done. 1337 01:03:44,080 --> 01:03:45,400 Speaker 3: What are we gonna put this up next week? 1338 01:03:46,000 --> 01:03:46,240 Speaker 4: Sure? 1339 01:03:46,320 --> 01:03:47,000 Speaker 3: While you're gone? 1340 01:03:47,160 --> 01:03:47,480 Speaker 4: Sure? 1341 01:03:48,200 --> 01:03:48,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's good. 1342 01:03:49,200 --> 01:03:49,720 Speaker 4: I like that. 1343 01:03:51,520 --> 01:03:56,120 Speaker 3: I guess what would I plug? I guess I'm gonna 1344 01:03:56,120 --> 01:03:58,520 Speaker 3: plug positivity. 1345 01:03:59,320 --> 01:03:59,880 Speaker 4: I like it. 1346 01:04:00,080 --> 01:04:02,560 Speaker 3: Okay, I like it. I'm gonna try it, I guess, 1347 01:04:02,600 --> 01:04:03,080 Speaker 3: And I'm. 1348 01:04:02,960 --> 01:04:09,560 Speaker 4: Gonna plug productivity. WHOA positivity and productivity? In twenty seventeen. 1349 01:04:09,320 --> 01:04:13,000 Speaker 3: They meet together in two hands, shaking each other in 1350 01:04:13,040 --> 01:04:14,240 Speaker 3: a rainbow of success. 1351 01:04:14,400 --> 01:04:16,200 Speaker 4: I'd like, we already have a logo. 1352 01:04:16,320 --> 01:04:19,080 Speaker 3: Ding ding ding. If you're an artist and you not 1353 01:04:19,160 --> 01:04:21,600 Speaker 3: you Chris, but because you're busy. But if you're an 1354 01:04:21,680 --> 01:04:23,920 Speaker 3: artist and you hear those words and you see a vision, 1355 01:04:24,320 --> 01:04:24,920 Speaker 3: let's see it. 1356 01:04:25,120 --> 01:04:28,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, positivity and productivity twenty seventeen. 1357 01:04:28,200 --> 01:04:28,480 Speaker 3: Dang. 1358 01:04:28,680 --> 01:04:30,440 Speaker 4: Do you'd like how I'm writing off the rest of this? 1359 01:04:30,520 --> 01:04:31,040 Speaker 4: Goddamn you? 1360 01:04:32,280 --> 01:04:33,040 Speaker 3: It's August. 1361 01:04:33,040 --> 01:04:39,680 Speaker 4: Bring it on, Bring it on. Twenty seventeen. Twenty sixteen, suck. No, 1362 01:04:39,800 --> 01:04:40,960 Speaker 4: it was good good year for me. 1363 01:04:41,040 --> 01:04:43,000 Speaker 3: It was pretty good. I mean, you know what I 1364 01:04:43,040 --> 01:04:46,880 Speaker 3: realized in twenty sixteen. Things can be terribly bad, but 1365 01:04:46,920 --> 01:04:48,800 Speaker 3: they're still never as bad as I think they are. 1366 01:04:49,000 --> 01:04:53,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, what it's No, it's always worse around the corner. 1367 01:04:53,280 --> 01:04:53,920 Speaker 4: What you're saying? 1368 01:04:54,080 --> 01:04:59,880 Speaker 1: No that I A, I have a I'm a catastrophic thing. 1369 01:05:00,440 --> 01:05:01,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, me too. 1370 01:05:01,280 --> 01:05:03,920 Speaker 3: So one thing goes bad and it's just like, well, 1371 01:05:03,920 --> 01:05:06,120 Speaker 3: I'm going to get arrested. That's what I think about everything. 1372 01:05:06,160 --> 01:05:11,160 Speaker 4: Oh, you're just hungry, you've been listening. Do you need 1373 01:05:11,200 --> 01:05:13,760 Speaker 4: a ride? D y n A? 1374 01:05:14,080 --> 01:05:23,200 Speaker 3: Are are you leaving? 1375 01:05:23,400 --> 01:05:27,640 Speaker 2: I you wanna way back home? Either way, we want 1376 01:05:27,680 --> 01:05:33,200 Speaker 2: to be there. Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim 1377 01:05:33,280 --> 01:05:37,280 Speaker 2: and give us time and a turning on and gage. 1378 01:05:38,640 --> 01:05:41,160 Speaker 3: We want to send you off in soil. 1379 01:05:42,600 --> 01:05:44,920 Speaker 4: We want to welcome you back home. 1380 01:05:46,720 --> 01:05:48,120 Speaker 2: Tell us all about it. 1381 01:05:48,280 --> 01:05:49,080 Speaker 3: We scared her? 1382 01:05:49,280 --> 01:05:50,440 Speaker 4: Was it fine. 1383 01:05:52,000 --> 01:05:52,160 Speaker 5: Now? 1384 01:05:52,320 --> 01:06:11,920 Speaker 3: Porn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? 1385 01:06:12,560 --> 01:06:15,800 Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? 1386 01:06:16,480 --> 01:06:20,320 Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? 1387 01:06:20,440 --> 01:06:28,040 Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? Do you need. 1388 01:06:29,600 --> 01:06:30,600 Speaker 5: With Karen and chriss 1389 01:06:32,440 --> 01:06:32,680 Speaker 4: Mh