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Speaker 1: Hey, Alyssa Sale and this is Joe. Welcome to the

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime Podcast game show.

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Speaker 2: The show where you can hear the greatest stories on

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Speaker 2: ours and.

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Speaker 1: Luckily you've won the jackpot for listening to the best

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Speaker 1: stories your ears could listen to. All you have to

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Speaker 1: do is wait for two minutes through these messages from

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Speaker 1: our sponsors.

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Speaker 3: My boyfriend mocked a friend who didn't go to college.

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Speaker 3: I won't tolerate it.

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Speaker 4: Not going to school is for losers.

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Speaker 3: And it's back to School Week on Okay Storytime Podcast,

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Speaker 3: where we're cracking open the wildest campus tales from college

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Speaker 3: sweethearts to evil professors that'll make you question is my

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Speaker 3: student loan worth it? If you're new here and looking

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Speaker 3: for the story my boyfriend's professor is way too friendly

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Speaker 3: and now I'm seriously suspicious. Just click the link in

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Speaker 3: the show's notes and description, or search back to School Week,

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Speaker 3: Okay Storytime wherever you get your podcasts. Let's dive into

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Speaker 3: this one. So, my female twenty two boyfriend, Eric Mail

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Speaker 3: twenty three, graduated with the masters in the spring. Oh

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Speaker 3: big Man's got a master's and had a party to

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Speaker 3: celebrate in the summer. He's hoping to be a teacher

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Speaker 3: after attaining his master's degree, and I graduated with my

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Speaker 3: bachelor's recently. We've been dating for almost three years after

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Speaker 3: meeting in college. But when I stumbled upon something that

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Speaker 3: I brought to his attention, he made me out to

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Speaker 3: be the enemy.

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Speaker 5: For being untrustworthy and not on his side.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from throw Away the Pye

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Speaker 3: this and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 3: good to the r slash okay story time, supparate it.

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Speaker 3: I'm Sophia, I'm.

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Speaker 4: Riley, I'm Dakota, and I'm not eating lunch.

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Speaker 3: Eric is involved in a few role play groups on

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Speaker 3: Twitter and has a few accounts that portray various media characters.

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Speaker 3: He's also into D and D, but writing stories for

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Speaker 3: the role play group is his hobby, and while I'm

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Speaker 3: not a part of the group, I follow the accounts

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Speaker 3: and sometimes keep up with his story lines. However, he

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Speaker 3: made an account that role played one of our friends,

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Speaker 3: an account that I wasn't supposed to to find but

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Speaker 3: ended up stumbling upon because one of his other accounts

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Speaker 3: followed him. Long story short, there was a guy named

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Speaker 3: Evan who was in his D and D group and

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Speaker 3: Evan would often invite his younger brother Todd to play along.

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Speaker 3: I played D and D with the group a few times,

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Speaker 3: and Todd would often help bring it to life by

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Speaker 3: drawing characters or whatever my boyfriend would imagine, and I

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Speaker 3: always thought it was cool. Evan came from a military

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Speaker 3: family where both of his parents served, but he went

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Speaker 3: to college. Todd wanted to serve following his high school graduation,

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Speaker 3: but Eric would try to convince him to go to

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Speaker 3: school instead and believe that an education would be better

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Speaker 3: in the long term. However, Todd still wanted to go

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Speaker 3: into the service upon graduation, so he would talk to

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Speaker 3: Evan to get him on his side, but Evan reinforced

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Speaker 3: that the choice is ultimately Todd's and that there are

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Speaker 3: benefits to both college and military, so neither of them

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Speaker 3: would be a bad choice. However, when an injury would

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Speaker 3: prevent him from being able to join the service, Eric

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Speaker 3: believed that he would opt for college like Evan, but

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Speaker 3: he decided to do an internship through a connection his

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Speaker 3: father had instead, and that would lead to what happened. Recently.

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Speaker 3: Eric made a Twitter account that impersonated Todd, but unlike

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Speaker 3: his role play accounts, he actually made it look like

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Speaker 3: Todd's actual account and used it to make fun of him.

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Speaker 3: And see this is that's now it's an issue.

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Speaker 4: Called it called now it's an issue real quick to

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Speaker 4: Tom la as someone who did a crap tone of

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Speaker 4: role playing. It's always creeping when someone starts role playing

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Speaker 4: as an actual perse.

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Speaker 3: I didn't realize that they were role playing as like

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Speaker 3: he was roleplaying as this actual person. I thought it

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Speaker 3: was just you know, they were playing together. But now

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Speaker 3: this is drawing a lot, like we need to draw

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Speaker 3: the line here because this is.

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Speaker 4: This is too far. This is how you get rocks off.

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Speaker 4: This is how you get off at the end of

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Speaker 4: the day.

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Speaker 3: Now you're just being a bully. He downloaded photos of

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Speaker 3: Todd and used them to make memes that degraded him

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Speaker 3: for not going to college, some calling himself stupid or

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Speaker 3: wanting hand me downs, to name a few. And he

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Speaker 3: also made posts about Evan and his family, which led

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Speaker 3: me to want to talk to him. When I told

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Speaker 3: him what I saw, I asked why he thought it

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Speaker 3: was appropriate to do that, to which he said that

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Speaker 3: everyone sucks up to military families and that they get

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Speaker 3: a pass for being our word and that Todd got

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Speaker 3: what he deserved with his injury. He also said that

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Speaker 3: they're poor enough to probably get free college and that

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Speaker 3: it proves he was right all along. I want to

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Speaker 3: deck this guy. But when I told him that I

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Speaker 3: couldn't believe what he was saying, he said, what do

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Speaker 3: you expect? And then he's going to be a teacher

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Speaker 3: who obviously prioritizes education. But he didn't stop there. He

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Speaker 3: also said that I was being inconsiderate because he is

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Speaker 3: ADHD and uses Twitter to vent his feelings. I am

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Speaker 3: terrified of the kids that this man will be teaching.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, what's gonna happen to the kid that's the back

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Speaker 4: of that class that's sleeping and doesn't want to be

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Speaker 4: in your class? Are you going to make a Twitter

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Speaker 4: account about them too?

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Speaker 5: I just I always hate people that are like I

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Speaker 5: have ADHD, and that's why I literally am awful. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: it's like you just suck.

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Speaker 3: But I told him that that's not an excuse for

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Speaker 3: what he did and that he should take it down.

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Speaker 3: He refused and told me to mind my own business.

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Speaker 3: We argued before, but he's never told me off like

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Speaker 3: this until then, and said that venting on Twitter helps

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Speaker 3: him be a better person in real life because it

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Speaker 3: drains his frustration. When he talks to Evan at D

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Speaker 3: and D, he'll speak his opinion, but never as rudely

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Speaker 3: as I found on Twitter. He's still telling well, I

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Speaker 3: don't think that guy knows that he's been like cyberbuling

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Speaker 3: on Twitter.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, how do you not have Twitter? Okay? This is

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Speaker 4: this is another thing? Yeah, I see on Instagram. You know,

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Speaker 4: John made it like a fake test account, and I

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Speaker 4: saw him like, oh, you should follow this. How do

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Speaker 4: you not be on Twitter? Notice that there's a fake

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Speaker 4: profile with you with your face on it and not

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Speaker 4: have it linked somehow because it's linked to your friend's

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Speaker 4: number or email? How does that not pop up?

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Speaker 3: But finding this account was like finding a different side

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Speaker 3: of him. And after I found it, he became really

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Speaker 3: defensive and told me that he didn't want me to

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Speaker 3: follow his role play accounts. And you're not role playing,

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Speaker 3: you are being You're cyberbullying your friend accounts, quote multiple accounts,

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Speaker 3: So how many people are you cyberbowling? Do you have

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Speaker 3: one of op? But I've been reconsidering our relationship after

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Speaker 3: this because he thinks it's right and is still upset

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Speaker 3: at me while still making new posts. I'm considering breaking

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Speaker 3: things off, but I'm afraid that he do to me

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Speaker 3: after finding his new method of venting. At the same time,

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Speaker 3: I don't care if he does it to me, but

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Speaker 3: I want to ask if anyone's ever dealt with anything

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Speaker 3: similar and how to handle distancing from someone like him

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Speaker 3: who uses social media to do what he did just

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Speaker 3: break up with him? Like you said that, he went

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Speaker 3: to the accounts of Todd's family to get photos from

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Speaker 3: there too, and I'm afraid that he'll pester the accounts

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Speaker 3: of people close to me, which is why I'm also

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Speaker 3: thinking about safeguarding myself from that too. Aside from what

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Speaker 3: I'm thinking, is there anything else I should consider before

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Speaker 3: telling in my plans to make sure I'm safe?

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Speaker 5: Why?

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Speaker 3: I think that's fair? There is an update. It seems

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Speaker 3: like Ope wants to break up. She just wants to

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Speaker 3: make sure she does it safely, which I think is fair.

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Speaker 4: If I was this woman, yeah, I would be going

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Speaker 4: through my head thinking mm hmm, have I sent him

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Speaker 4: something he could use against me?

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Speaker 6: Mmm?

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Speaker 4: Have I sent him anything that he could post about me?

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Speaker 4: I would do the thing. Sophia will probably not agree

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Speaker 4: with this, probably go on his phone, log into it

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Speaker 4: and delete everything so he doesn't have access to it.

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Speaker 3: I actually don't disagree with that, Okay, I would. My

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Speaker 3: thing about going through phones is like it breaks the trust.

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Speaker 3: You already know that you want to break up with

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Speaker 3: this person, and now you're trying to think about like

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Speaker 3: protecting me, how do I protect myself? And so I

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Speaker 3: think at that point, I think it's fine if you

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Speaker 3: have anything that you need to delete, because people.

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Speaker 4: On Twitter they go correct I had I can't with

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Speaker 4: Twitter update.

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Speaker 3: After we talked that night, I planned to tell him

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Speaker 3: that I wanted a break, but I didn't want to

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Speaker 3: say it without preparing for him to potentially do the

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Speaker 3: same to me on Twitter. So after taking the advice

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Speaker 3: of a lot of people, I decided to tell my

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Speaker 3: family and relatives about how he had gone on a

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Speaker 3: rampage of downloading photos of Todd's family and relatives and

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Speaker 3: advised them to make their accounts private or block him,

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Speaker 3: and a lot of them were really thankful that I

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Speaker 3: told them. The main reason I did was because Eric

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Speaker 3: downloaded photos of miners who were related to Todd yikes,

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Speaker 3: and I didn't want him doing the same to my

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Speaker 3: family and making memes out of uninvolved people. I also

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Speaker 3: spoke to Evan and told Slash showed him what had happened. Yikes,

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Speaker 3: and he was really upset and said that he and

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Speaker 3: his parents were going to call the school Eric's interning

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Speaker 3: Slash subbing at and let them know of what he's

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Speaker 3: been doing, not only to Todd, but also to miners

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Speaker 3: in their family who he downloaded images of. Don't let

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Speaker 3: this man be a teacher.

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Speaker 4: He's going to be the worst influence on kids. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 4: like agree with everything.

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry if any of those kids have like dyslexia

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Speaker 3: or any other like learning, you know, things, he's going

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Speaker 3: to bully them. This man bullies everyone. He also said

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Speaker 3: that he and his parents went to the police to

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Speaker 3: address it. But as of writing, the account of Todd

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Speaker 3: that Eric made is still somehow up and not yet deleted.

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Speaker 3: And maybe it's because Eric made the account private after

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Speaker 3: our initial conversation, but I don't know. I gave them

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Speaker 3: all my screenshots, but as of now, nothing has happened.

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Speaker 3: Evan's parents also told Slash show the school what happened,

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Speaker 3: but he's still employed and subbing at the moment, and

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Speaker 3: Evan said that they were having a hard time proving

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Speaker 3: the account was Eric's, although they are still trying to

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Speaker 3: get it taken down. He also has relatives who are

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Speaker 3: complaining to the school too about photos Eric downloaded of

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Speaker 3: them and their children. But almost a month later and

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Speaker 3: nothing has happened yet. After talking to Evan and my family,

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Speaker 3: I told Eric that we were done, but he began

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Speaker 3: making posts about.

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Speaker 4: Me, and there it is.

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Speaker 3: We all knew that was coming on one of his

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Speaker 3: role playing accounts, and now I was apparently cheating on

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Speaker 3: him and trying to start rumors, and I screenshotted what

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Speaker 3: he posted, but still nothing has happened. He also started

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Speaker 3: posting about some prescriptions I've taken that I never told

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Speaker 3: anyone besides family, but my relatives have been supportive throughout,

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Speaker 3: but I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt.

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Speaker 3: He's also started posting memes about me too, and I

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Speaker 3: have a record of all of it, and I'm hoping

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Speaker 3: that with time and all the people and relatives reporting

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Speaker 3: that something can happen soon. But I'm slightly surprised nothing

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Speaker 3: has happened yet. I mean, yeah, you guys have so

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Speaker 3: much information on this Lastly, I want to say that

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Speaker 3: this whole thing has shown aside of him that I've

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Speaker 3: never really seen before. Like we've argued, but stumbling across

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Speaker 3: this account and what he uses to vent and cope

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Speaker 3: with ADHD just made him so aggressive because he said

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Speaker 3: that it was as if I was removing an inhaler

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Speaker 3: from someone who needs it.

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Speaker 4: You are the worst.

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry you're comparing Twitter to inhaler.

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Speaker 4: You will need Twitter.

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Speaker 5: To breathe can someone say chronically online.

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Speaker 4: You were the worst example to your community of ADHD

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Speaker 4: family because you're saying you need this in order to

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Speaker 4: to get on with your life, Like, do you see

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Speaker 4: what you're doing? No? He cannot.

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Speaker 3: When we talked to that night and he got so defensive.

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Speaker 3: That's when he compared it to me making fun of

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Speaker 3: people with special needs, as he's also posted about that.

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Speaker 3: And that's where I am now. I feel like I've

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Speaker 3: done almost as much as I can and waiting is hard.

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Speaker 3: So if anyone has any advice on how to push

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Speaker 3: through this time with an ex who's trying to destroy everyone,

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Speaker 3: I know, I would really appreciate it, but it's hard

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Speaker 3: right now. And I'll end with this, but actually that

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Speaker 3: is not the way that OPI ended it.

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Speaker 4: There is a little bit more good good. Honestly, I'm

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Speaker 4: glad this happened. I'm glad all of this happened because

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Speaker 4: this lets us know that he cannot be around kids

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Speaker 4: and teach kids how to do stuff. Yep, all screen

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Speaker 4: like the love of the education that he has. If

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Speaker 4: he loves education this much, he would understand and he

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Speaker 4: would probably educate himself on how other people not going

256
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Speaker 4: to school has actually been to society in some ways

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Speaker 4: and shapes and forms. This is the lack of education.

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Speaker 4: I don't believe this guy. I don't think he even

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Speaker 4: likes education. I don't think so either. I think he

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Speaker 4: has this like very elitist view.

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Speaker 3: He's like, I'm so smart, I've got a college degree,

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Speaker 3: and I'm going to teach the youths. But I don't

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Speaker 3: actually think he has the passion. He's also gone about

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Speaker 3: posting images of me too, but nothing explicit, as we've

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Speaker 3: never taken those. However, he started posting photos of me

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Speaker 3: when I was in high school and in dance and

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Speaker 3: making degrading comments about my body, and I've taken screenshots

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Speaker 3: of those to the police too, as I'm still waiting

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Speaker 3: to see what happened. I've been told that it can

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Speaker 3: be a process, but that is hurt the most and

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Speaker 3: is what I'm trying to push through. And if anyone

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Speaker 3: has any advice on how to just get past a

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Speaker 3: toxic X who goes to such measures, I would really

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Speaker 3: appreciate it because right now is really hard. I'm hoping

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Speaker 3: something happens soon, but maybe it's just a process. But

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Speaker 3: I could just use all of the advice I can get,

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Speaker 3: and folks, that's the end of that story.

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Speaker 2: I want to leave my wife, but she just gave

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Speaker 2: birth to our son.

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Speaker 7: Bad timing. Become a debbie, dad, do it right now?

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Speaker 7: I dare you? My thirty four male wife thirty two

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Speaker 7: female and I have been married for seven years. She

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Speaker 7: admitted to me that she had multiple affairs over the

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Speaker 7: last four years of our marriage.

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Speaker 5: Oh oh no, Well, maybe it's a better time than

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Speaker 5: I thought.

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Speaker 7: Her last affair ended a year ago. She begged for

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Speaker 7: us to go to therapy to work on our marriage,

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Speaker 7: but I.

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Speaker 2: Refused to go. By the way, this comes from Velvet

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Speaker 2: Chartruse and if you want to submit your early stories,

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Speaker 2: go to the arslash Oki storytime subreddits. During this time

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Speaker 2: I had moved out of the house. Occasionally I would

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Speaker 2: go back to take care of the house and animals,

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Speaker 2: and she would constantly try to manipulate me into coming back.

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Speaker 2: I had every intention of getting a divorce, but the

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Speaker 2: process is slow. I hated the betrayal I felt, but

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Speaker 2: I also missed my wife. During the separation, one thing

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Speaker 2: led to another. We had spicy and wouldn't you know,

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Speaker 2: she got pregnant.

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Speaker 5: That is the order of operations for getting pregnant. That's

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Speaker 5: how it happens. Oh boy.

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Speaker 7: Well, shortly after the news came out, I had to

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Speaker 7: leave for work about twelve hours away from her. She

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Speaker 7: would call to give me updates about the pregnancy and

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Speaker 7: talk about our marriage. We were separated for a majority

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Speaker 7: of her pregnancy. I told her that I still wanted

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Speaker 7: a divorce, but I would consider reconciling after the baby

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Speaker 7: was born. After several months away from her, I came

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Speaker 7: to the realization that I could not trust her nor

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Speaker 7: forgive her for the infidelity. I feel like the last

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Speaker 7: seven years of my life have been a lie.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, dude, that's tough, pretty hard to come back from that.

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Speaker 7: While I was away from her, I met someone and

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Speaker 7: a relationship blossomed between us.

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Speaker 2: So I truly feel like I love this one.

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Speaker 7: She has been made aware that I am still married

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Speaker 7: and that I have a baby on the way. My

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Speaker 7: wife is not aware of my new girlfriend. Fast forward

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Speaker 7: to a month ago, I had to go home for

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Speaker 7: the birth of our baby boy. My wife has been

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Speaker 7: pressuring me to reconcile, but I told her that I

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Speaker 7: plan to divorce her again after the birth of our

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Speaker 7: baby boy. She has been blaming me for ruining our

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Speaker 7: family because I don't want to stay with her and try.

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Speaker 5: To fix our marriage.

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Speaker 7: I think you might have ruined the family when you

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Speaker 7: had multiple affairs over four years.

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Speaker 5: You should go give family applications to all the men

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Speaker 5: you cheated on me with and see if they're down

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Speaker 5: to maybe you know.

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Speaker 2: I think like this idea.

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Speaker 7: I want to have a co parenting relationship with my wife,

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Speaker 7: but she is acting very erratic while I'm still here

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Speaker 7: for our son. Am I the a hole for wanting

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Speaker 7: to leave my wife? Any advice on how to deal

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00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:44,520
Speaker 7: with this is appreciated and a quick edit. Thank you

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00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:47,000
Speaker 7: for all the mixed reviews. It was expected. I will

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Speaker 7: be talking to a lawyer and will update once I

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00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:51,640
Speaker 7: have a chance to talk to one appreciate the sound

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00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:54,560
Speaker 7: advice as well. We have some relevant comments and an

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Speaker 7: update coming up on the Horizon. But ladies and gentlemen,

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Speaker 7: before we get into that, I have to talk to

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Speaker 7: my esteemed co hosts and handsome man Dakota the man Pain,

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00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:12,520
Speaker 7: he says, I'm pretty Dakota is op the a hole

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Speaker 7: for wanting to leave the mother of his newborn child.

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Speaker 5: No, but you are for like having hooked up with her, Like,

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Speaker 5: what are you doing? That's so messy? Like you knew

349
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:24,520
Speaker 5: what you were doing. Yeah, I do have known what

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Speaker 5: you're doing. Now you miss your wife, you're separated, and

351
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:28,480
Speaker 5: blah blah blah blah blah.

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Speaker 7: But I do feel for him, you know, it's like

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Speaker 7: he's he's just found out this is the last seven years,

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Speaker 7: uh were you know, kind of a toss and he's

355
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Speaker 7: probably feeling lonely and all these things.

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Speaker 2: And while I understand it was definitely not the move.

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Speaker 5: Ooh, start with the paternity test though, yes.

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Speaker 4: Yes, because I don't know if he's yours.

359
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:56,800
Speaker 5: He could be, it could be it'd be great, right, yeah, horrible.

360
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Speaker 5: I don't know whichever.

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Speaker 4: That's up to y'all.

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Speaker 5: To feel, but uh, it prioritized the life of the child.

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Speaker 7: Moving forward, We got some relevant comments in an update.

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Speaker 7: Bep DHC says, info, are you sure this baby's yours?

365
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:16,600
Speaker 7: Op says the baby's mine. Okay, we don't know what

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00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:20,200
Speaker 7: that means, but okay. Extra Camera thirty six to eighty

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00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:23,200
Speaker 7: five says, get a paternity test to ensure see a lawyer.

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Speaker 7: Take your time with someone who is involved with a

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Speaker 7: married man expecting a baby and is okay with it.

370
00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:34,000
Speaker 7: That's probably also good advice. Jitario says, everyone sucks here.

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Speaker 7: Your wife sucks for cheating on you repeatedly for four years.

372
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:40,440
Speaker 7: That's a serious betrayal, and it's understandable that you'd feel

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Speaker 7: like the entire marriage was a lie.

374
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Speaker 2: But you're not innocent. It's either here we go.

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Speaker 7: You're you were emotionally and physically indecisive for months, which

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00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:51,879
Speaker 7: gave her mixed signals. You told her you wanted a divorce,

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00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:55,320
Speaker 7: but kept showing up, had unprotected spicy sleep resulting in

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Speaker 7: a baby, and continued. I think, honestly, yes, sleeping together

379
00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:02,679
Speaker 7: was a mistake. Not using protection to meet that was

380
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:06,199
Speaker 7: the like real you know, it's kind of like a

381
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:10,879
Speaker 7: one eye open situation, the ultimate oops, the ultimate oopsy dude,

382
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:14,600
Speaker 7: and continued entertaining her hopes of reconciliation even while emotionally

383
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:18,879
Speaker 7: checking out. You even said you'd consider reconciling after the

384
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:22,080
Speaker 7: baby was born. That's a huge breadcrumb to someone already

385
00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:25,480
Speaker 7: trying to save a relationship. Then, instead of clarifying things,

386
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:28,320
Speaker 7: you started a new relationship while still married, didn't tell

387
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:30,120
Speaker 7: your wife about it, and are still hiding it from

388
00:18:30,119 --> 00:18:33,200
Speaker 7: her now that the baby is born. That's not just messy,

389
00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,879
Speaker 7: it's dishonest. You're fully within your right to leave the marriage.

390
00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:38,600
Speaker 7: Infidelity is a deal breaker for many, but your execution

391
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:40,040
Speaker 7: has been cowardly and passive.

392
00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:41,000
Speaker 5: You didn't set.

393
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Speaker 7: Clear boundaries, didn't communicate with honesty, and avoided taking firm

394
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,440
Speaker 7: action when it mattered most, And now you're reaping the

395
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:50,240
Speaker 7: chaos that comes from that. My advice divorce her now,

396
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:53,120
Speaker 7: No more delays, no more maybes. Tell her about your

397
00:18:53,119 --> 00:18:55,560
Speaker 7: new relationship, not to rub it in, but because she

398
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:58,480
Speaker 7: deserves clarity. She's parenting with you and should understand the

399
00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:02,000
Speaker 7: new dynamic and lawyer up and establish a formal custody

400
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:05,480
Speaker 7: and support and support agreements. Don't leave us don't leave

401
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:09,000
Speaker 7: us up to emotional negotiations. Stop playing emotional games with

402
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:13,840
Speaker 7: her and yourself. You're not the victim anymore, your participant

403
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:16,840
Speaker 7: in this mess. Get man, they just keep going. Get therapy,

404
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,959
Speaker 7: not for reconciliation, but for you to process the betrayal,

405
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:23,119
Speaker 7: learn better communication boundaries, and avoid repeating this kind of

406
00:19:23,119 --> 00:19:25,080
Speaker 7: a mess in the future. You're not the a hole

407
00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:27,399
Speaker 7: for wanting to leave, but you are the ahole for

408
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:28,480
Speaker 7: how you handled it.

409
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:31,399
Speaker 5: We have an update. I think a lot of that

410
00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:33,560
Speaker 5: lays on the presumption that this is taking place in

411
00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:36,159
Speaker 5: the United States, because I think that is it's like

412
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:40,159
Speaker 5: you could just like leaven divorce like relatively quickly, but

413
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,760
Speaker 5: there are as we've read, like several places where it's

414
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:46,440
Speaker 5: actually not that easy to just get divorced, Like there's

415
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:48,399
Speaker 5: a whole process that goes through it where you have

416
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,880
Speaker 5: to like still live with somebody for a certain amount

417
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:52,720
Speaker 5: of time or live away from somebody for a certain

418
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:55,520
Speaker 5: amount of time, and then like it can officially go

419
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,160
Speaker 5: through like after a piod of separation. Yeah, so it's

420
00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:01,359
Speaker 5: totally relative. But I do think that the rest of

421
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:04,440
Speaker 5: that was pretty Jews like pretty yeah, it's you should

422
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:06,639
Speaker 5: be like Hey, I'm actually like with someone else.

423
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Speaker 2: We have an update. Here we go.

424
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Speaker 7: Who thank you to all those who did not think

425
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:14,439
Speaker 7: I was the a hole here. It's been a tough

426
00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:17,960
Speaker 7: two years. Here's how it went down. I took a

427
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:24,280
Speaker 7: paternity test. Okay, and my son is confirmed.

428
00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:26,760
Speaker 5: To be mine. Okay, Okay, we have the exercise. There

429
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:27,560
Speaker 5: we go, there we go.

430
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Speaker 2: Okay.

431
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,560
Speaker 7: I have filed for the divorce, but the state in

432
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:34,480
Speaker 7: which I live is very conservative and and a and

433
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,200
Speaker 7: has a waiting period before it can be finalized to

434
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:41,280
Speaker 7: Dakotas point from earlier, the divorce was filed as uncontested,

435
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,800
Speaker 7: and I will be paying child support while also staying

436
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,040
Speaker 7: in his life. I am selling her house and she

437
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:48,760
Speaker 7: is moving to a state close by where my son will.

438
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:50,040
Speaker 5: Only be a couple of hours away.

439
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:54,640
Speaker 7: This option also makes her closer to family custody arrangements

440
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:57,560
Speaker 7: will be updated once she has moved. This has been

441
00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:00,359
Speaker 7: hard emotionally because she has blamed me for rooms our

442
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:03,640
Speaker 7: chance as a family and our son's future. It feels manipulative.

443
00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:05,879
Speaker 7: Since I no longer want to be with her and

444
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:09,240
Speaker 7: I've taken care of her our entire marriage, I would

445
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:12,480
Speaker 7: agree my wife still does not know about my girlfriend

446
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:15,639
Speaker 7: at the request of my girlfriend. As much as I

447
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:18,560
Speaker 7: want to integrate my girlfriend, this will take time to do,

448
00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:21,080
Speaker 7: and I also felt like my wife doesn't have to

449
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:23,680
Speaker 7: know about her until everything is settled.

450
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:25,160
Speaker 5: And the divorce is finalized.

451
00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:27,520
Speaker 7: It's been difficult for me being away from my son,

452
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:30,080
Speaker 7: but I do get to see him every day. Okay,

453
00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:32,760
Speaker 7: I was there for his birth and three weeks afterwards.

454
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:36,360
Speaker 7: I will be taking time to leave again to spend

455
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:38,520
Speaker 7: more time with my son, take care of the house,

456
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:41,840
Speaker 7: the divorce, and to help her and my son get moved.

457
00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:44,400
Speaker 7: I'm glad this marriage is ending, and while it's tough

458
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:47,000
Speaker 7: right now with my son, the mutual goal is to

459
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:50,680
Speaker 7: have a co parenting relationship. Despite the things my wife

460
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:53,000
Speaker 7: has said and her wanting to continue the marriage, I

461
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:55,600
Speaker 7: feel my son will be better off knowing what an

462
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:57,320
Speaker 7: actual loving relationship is.

463
00:21:57,960 --> 00:21:58,840
Speaker 5: I do agree.

464
00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:01,760
Speaker 7: My girlfriend has been very supportive of me, and I'm

465
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:04,640
Speaker 7: ready to move on in my life with her. Trying

466
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:07,240
Speaker 7: to get any Trying to get any help or legal

467
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:09,439
Speaker 7: advice in the state we got married has been a

468
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:13,280
Speaker 7: nightmare and has been overall negative to the choice I

469
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:17,040
Speaker 7: have already made. The marriage is gone but I will

470
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:19,199
Speaker 7: be in my son's life. I do not agree with

471
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:20,320
Speaker 7: the empty values there.

472
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:21,480
Speaker 5: Any advice on.

473
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:23,879
Speaker 7: How to ensure a healthy co parenting relationship without a

474
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:25,359
Speaker 7: lawyer is needed.

475
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:28,440
Speaker 5: Thank you all again. Well we got some relevant comments.

476
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:31,320
Speaker 7: Tsunami surve for thirty five that sound dangerous, says not

477
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:33,800
Speaker 7: the ahle, but you should not have slept with your

478
00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:37,680
Speaker 7: wife that last time without protection. This made everything more

479
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:39,960
Speaker 7: complicated by giving her leverage.

480
00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:43,560
Speaker 5: Dude, that was a comment from Captain Hindsight, right there.

481
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:44,520
Speaker 2: Captain Hindsight.

482
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:47,720
Speaker 7: Yeah, spirited AD sixty one to forty four says, why

483
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:49,840
Speaker 7: would you have a kid knowing she was an ahole

484
00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:53,000
Speaker 7: and that you weren't sure you were fitting back together?

485
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:54,040
Speaker 5: Poor child?

486
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:57,240
Speaker 7: Imagine snap Dragon says, and now he wants to integrate

487
00:22:57,280 --> 00:23:00,040
Speaker 7: his new girlfriend, which I can only guess means bring

488
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:02,320
Speaker 7: her in as a third parent. These people had no

489
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:06,760
Speaker 7: business making a child. Yeah, they were not ready, All right,

490
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:09,639
Speaker 7: buys and girls. So update number two. My wife was

491
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,320
Speaker 7: served with the voice papers and hired a lawyer. Despite

492
00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:15,280
Speaker 7: us agreeing on fifty to fifty division on marital assets,

493
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:18,840
Speaker 7: child support, and limited alimony, she told me that because

494
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:21,160
Speaker 7: I was leaving her, she wanted to make sure things

495
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:24,280
Speaker 7: were done fairly. She advised me to not get my

496
00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:28,560
Speaker 7: own lawyer since we already agreed on stuff, but I

497
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:30,760
Speaker 7: got one to represent me anyways.

498
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:34,439
Speaker 5: Thank god. Good is exactly what we were talking about.

499
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:37,200
Speaker 5: She's getting a lawyer and trying to actively tell you

500
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:38,160
Speaker 5: you don't need one.

501
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,040
Speaker 7: Hey, I think you should not get a lawyer so

502
00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:42,200
Speaker 7: I can just like set all the terms and legally

503
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:43,560
Speaker 7: like slide everything.

504
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:47,840
Speaker 5: Out of the freaking no. Yeah, don't worry, it's our lawyer. No, no,

505
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:48,080
Speaker 5: no, no no.

506
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:51,080
Speaker 7: I have recently seen my son again, despite her efforts

507
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:52,879
Speaker 7: to keep me away from him. She has told me

508
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:55,680
Speaker 7: that she doesn't want to see me. After expressing how

509
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,280
Speaker 7: unfair that is, she agreed to coordinate with me to

510
00:23:58,320 --> 00:23:58,760
Speaker 7: see him.

511
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 5: I told her that.

512
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,960
Speaker 7: I've been seeing someone, and she said that she suspected

513
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,719
Speaker 7: it during our separation, but that it didn't matter. She

514
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:07,840
Speaker 7: doesn't care that I love my new partner.

515
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:08,760
Speaker 2: She believes we.

516
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:12,240
Speaker 7: Can still recover the marriage, even though I have moved on.

517
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:15,680
Speaker 7: I do not understand how she thinks this after her

518
00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:18,800
Speaker 7: cheating throughout our marriage and me finding someone new. I

519
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:20,800
Speaker 7: told her I am upset and that she can't take

520
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:24,320
Speaker 7: accountability for the breakdown of the marriage, hurting me and

521
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:27,359
Speaker 7: our son. I explained to her why it wouldn't be

522
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:30,359
Speaker 7: a good idea to stay together if she truly thinks

523
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:33,920
Speaker 7: I cheated on her. She is only concerned with herself

524
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:36,760
Speaker 7: in the life that I provided to her, instead of

525
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:40,000
Speaker 7: caring about our son. She destroyed the last seven years

526
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:42,680
Speaker 7: of my life with her and distorted how I saw myself.

527
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:46,440
Speaker 7: I tried to get over her infidelity the first time.

528
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:50,440
Speaker 7: It was a mistake and was something we could work through.

529
00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:53,720
Speaker 7: I'm not willing to give her a third or fourth chance.

530
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:57,600
Speaker 7: I want to resolve, but every time the issue comes up,

531
00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:02,399
Speaker 7: she says something that feels manipulative. Some comments. Peace loving

532
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:04,480
Speaker 7: sister says, the only thing you and you're soon to

533
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:06,679
Speaker 7: be ex wife should be discussing is the care of

534
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:07,080
Speaker 7: your son.

535
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:07,320
Speaker 5: Bo.

536
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 7: By engaging with her, you are setting yourself up to

537
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:12,880
Speaker 7: be manipulated and trapped, just as you were trapped by

538
00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:15,280
Speaker 7: the pregnancy. Sorry to have to say this, but you

539
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:18,600
Speaker 7: were really stupid to get yourself into that position. Pun

540
00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:20,920
Speaker 7: intended that position.

541
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:23,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, that pregnancy position. Yep.

542
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:30,080
Speaker 7: Ever heard of wiener rappers? No, that's our word for

543
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:30,720
Speaker 7: you know, what.

544
00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:32,520
Speaker 5: Just a pack of hot dogs.

545
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:34,680
Speaker 2: Exactly.

546
00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:39,160
Speaker 7: You knew this woman had been with other men, yet

547
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:41,040
Speaker 7: you had unprotected spices sleep with her.

548
00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:42,320
Speaker 2: Yes, that was stupid, So.

549
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:45,560
Speaker 7: You are not without blame for those seven years and

550
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:48,879
Speaker 7: in fact, all of the rest of your child's life.

551
00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:51,359
Speaker 7: The fact that you would even ask whether you're the

552
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:54,560
Speaker 7: a hole for wanting to leave reveals your very problem

553
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:58,320
Speaker 7: with the logic and common sense. Casual Yash twenty eighty

554
00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:00,560
Speaker 7: eight says, I could honestly understand and how she could

555
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:05,000
Speaker 7: manipulate you into discussing other things with you. But I'm

556
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 7: still not trusting you fully on this, as you were

557
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,280
Speaker 7: stupid enough to make a baby with her after knowing

558
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:14,920
Speaker 7: that she cheated. Well, now the lawyers are involved, I

559
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,440
Speaker 7: think you should ask your lawyer to communicate with her

560
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 7: for you, with the pretext that it would be easier

561
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:24,320
Speaker 7: in your divorce, so that she won't be the problem

562
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:26,920
Speaker 7: with it, So that she won't have a problem with this.

563
00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:30,480
Speaker 7: I would suggest you not to help her move as

564
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 7: it can be very well used against you in court

565
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,080
Speaker 7: if she plans to make a false case against you.

566
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:36,160
Speaker 5: Oh my goodness.

567
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:39,320
Speaker 7: Uh, And it would be set up, and it would

568
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:41,720
Speaker 7: set up a wrong example for the future where she

569
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:44,439
Speaker 7: will always expect you to help her move My dirty

570
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:47,160
Speaker 7: A seventy nine says she cheats repeatedly, gets a lawyer

571
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:48,360
Speaker 7: and then says you shouldn't get one.

572
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:52,880
Speaker 2: That's hilarious. Good luck man and sloke.

573
00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:57,920
Speaker 5: Oh to Bide says, oh, be get a lawyer.

574
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:01,119
Speaker 7: Prima Diamond says you're all the ahole or you're the

575
00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:04,880
Speaker 7: a hole for not divorcing before all of this culminated

576
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:08,320
Speaker 7: as a Divorceay, it really isn't that hard to file

577
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:10,920
Speaker 7: if you have intentions of moving on. Bear prior to

578
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:14,000
Speaker 7: Tenity fives ten fifty eight says not the ahole, foolish,

579
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:16,600
Speaker 7: but maybe not the a hole. Please listen to your

580
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:19,159
Speaker 7: lawyer and have everything in writing. This is going to

581
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:21,920
Speaker 7: define how and when you can interact with your son,

582
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:25,200
Speaker 7: communicate with your soon to be x via text. So

583
00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:27,040
Speaker 7: some mixed reactions, a lot of people calling OPI the

584
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,560
Speaker 7: a whole. I think you know what, I think everyone

585
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:32,800
Speaker 7: made some sort of a whole move here. Everyone made

586
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:35,600
Speaker 7: some sort of mistake here, like it's it's it's a

587
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,080
Speaker 7: bit of an everyone sucks here. Everyone sucks at different levels.

588
00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:40,800
Speaker 7: Takes two to tango you both made mistakes to get

589
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:42,800
Speaker 7: to Yeah.

590
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:43,280
Speaker 5: Everyone sucks.

591
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:46,280
Speaker 7: Everyone's a little bit. Everyone sucks at least a little bit.

592
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:50,240
Speaker 7: John here og host. We're gonna get back to these stories,

593
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:50,800
Speaker 7: but a quick.

594
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,680
Speaker 5: Three minute break from has from our sponsors. My husband's

595
00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:57,840
Speaker 5: been taking inappropriate photos. I feel like I don't know him.

596
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,000
Speaker 2: Ooh, that's right.

597
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:02,960
Speaker 5: My husband, Toby and I met in twenty eighteen and

598
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,560
Speaker 5: we were twenty seven. We were only dating for a

599
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:10,439
Speaker 5: couple months when he moved in. He was great, so sweet, thoughtful, helpful, kind,

600
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:14,680
Speaker 5: and I fell in love hard. We got engaged after

601
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:17,399
Speaker 5: only seven months. We did the whole when you know,

602
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:21,760
Speaker 5: you know, justification and anyways, hindsight is always twenty twenty.

603
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:25,320
Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from user Important Fail seventy

604
00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:27,320
Speaker 5: eight fifty seven and if you want to submit your

605
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:29,920
Speaker 5: own stories, go to the r slash showcase story time subready.

606
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:34,399
Speaker 5: So we got married near our one year together anniversary

607
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:37,120
Speaker 5: in twenty nineteen. It was only two months in when

608
00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:39,440
Speaker 5: I got pregnant with our daughters Susie.

609
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:40,440
Speaker 4: Oh.

610
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:44,280
Speaker 5: We moved in with my parents to save money and

611
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:47,120
Speaker 5: luckily we did as the world shut down. When I

612
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:50,040
Speaker 5: was six months pregnant, I had to have a C section,

613
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:53,360
Speaker 5: and this is important for later due to that time

614
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:56,640
Speaker 5: in history. When I was on maternity leave, Toby was

615
00:28:56,680 --> 00:29:00,160
Speaker 5: also off work. We spent the entire first year of

616
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:03,800
Speaker 5: Susie's life off together every day. When she was about

617
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 5: six months old, we moved into the townhouse I'm still in.

618
00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:10,760
Speaker 5: That's when the bickering started. Little things would set him

619
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:14,200
Speaker 5: off and I started walking on eggshells. We would fight

620
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:20,160
Speaker 5: over money, personal time, division of housework, parenting, everything. I

621
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 5: chalked it up to being around each other every day

622
00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:25,040
Speaker 5: all day. When I went back to work, I started

623
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 5: a new job and excelled at it. I started making

624
00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:30,360
Speaker 5: a lot more money and quickly became the bread winner.

625
00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:32,840
Speaker 5: I got him a job where I worked, and he

626
00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:36,480
Speaker 5: slacked off and changed jobs after six months. I hadn't

627
00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:39,240
Speaker 5: noticed that he frequently changed jobs every six to nine

628
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:42,280
Speaker 5: months until much later. We were more like roommates at

629
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,280
Speaker 5: this point, miserable roommates who slept in the same bed.

630
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:48,920
Speaker 5: He frequently demanded alone time, and I was happy to

631
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:52,000
Speaker 5: oblige because he was always so miserable to us. It

632
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:54,240
Speaker 5: gave my daughter and me time to be able to

633
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:57,480
Speaker 5: be ourselves. We by a miracle because it was only

634
00:29:57,520 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 5: once in five months. Got pregnant with with my son

635
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:05,840
Speaker 5: Frank in early twenty twenty two. You're very fertile. During

636
00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:08,959
Speaker 5: my pregnancy, I had a lot of issues. My body

637
00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:12,000
Speaker 5: was not doing well with pregnancy. We fought constantly, and

638
00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:13,600
Speaker 5: the stress was so bad that I had to go

639
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:16,479
Speaker 5: on sick leave a month before my du date. It

640
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:18,680
Speaker 5: was at the point that I could barely sit at

641
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:21,400
Speaker 5: a hard time standing, could hardly walk, and laying down

642
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:24,200
Speaker 5: was agony. He was more helpful than before, but he

643
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:26,400
Speaker 5: would frequently guilt trip me and make me feel like

644
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:29,160
Speaker 5: I owed him and should worship him for doing everything

645
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:31,680
Speaker 5: for me. I had my second sea section at the

646
00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:34,440
Speaker 5: beginning of twenty twenty three, ten days after I had Frank.

647
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:35,680
Speaker 4: Toby was yelling at me.

648
00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:38,800
Speaker 5: I have a recording that I no longer have an

649
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:41,240
Speaker 5: excuse because I'm no longer pregnant and I need to

650
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:44,360
Speaker 5: get off of my booty and contribute to the house

651
00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:47,360
Speaker 5: to clean, cook and do laundry. I started recording all

652
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:49,600
Speaker 5: of his tangents because he would gaslight me that he

653
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:52,640
Speaker 5: didn't say that I didn't hear him right, and I'm crazy.

654
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:56,680
Speaker 5: Oh god, gross, yep. Money was tight. While I was

655
00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:59,960
Speaker 5: on maternity leave. He had switched jobs and worked from home,

656
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,680
Speaker 5: constantly telling me I was lazy because I wouldn't do

657
00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:06,040
Speaker 5: anything but take care of Frank and Susie. My postpartum

658
00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:11,520
Speaker 5: depression was so bad. The intrusive thoughts were bad and intense,

659
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:14,280
Speaker 5: and looking back, he made it so much worse. I

660
00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:17,400
Speaker 5: put Susie in daycare so I could manage Frank easier.

661
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,240
Speaker 5: A year that was supposed to be magical and beautiful

662
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:23,560
Speaker 5: was miserable, and I hated it. He was cruel and

663
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:26,160
Speaker 5: rude all of the time. I ended up going back

664
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:28,400
Speaker 5: to work four months early, hoping that making more money

665
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:31,560
Speaker 5: would lessen our fights, because that must be what's causing

666
00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:36,959
Speaker 5: our issues. I see you. It's not call line. I

667
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:39,560
Speaker 5: see you. He's mad that you make all so much money.

668
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 5: Hem is so mad that you make the money, and paradoxically,

669
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:45,600
Speaker 5: we'll do nothing to make.

670
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:46,640
Speaker 4: More of his own.

671
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:51,160
Speaker 5: I always justified his behavior, and this is when things

672
00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:54,400
Speaker 5: get messed up. Timeline is important on this, so I'm

673
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:56,560
Speaker 5: going to do my best to keep the info organized

674
00:31:57,120 --> 00:32:00,480
Speaker 5: it gets messy. October twenty twenty three, I went back

675
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:02,960
Speaker 5: to work. We fought a lot, and he avoided hanging

676
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:05,400
Speaker 5: out with us on the weekends. He had another new

677
00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:08,720
Speaker 5: job at this point, working in a family arcade place.

678
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:12,760
Speaker 5: This is important. Oh, we happily avoided him on the weekends.

679
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:15,760
Speaker 5: It was more stressful if he was around anyways. End

680
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:18,320
Speaker 5: of November twenty twenty three, I had ordered us a

681
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:21,640
Speaker 5: shed and checked the security cameras frequently to see when

682
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:23,840
Speaker 5: it arrived so I could run home and move it

683
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:27,120
Speaker 5: to the backyard to avoid it getting stolen. One day,

684
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:29,400
Speaker 5: I looked on the camera and Toby's car was home.

685
00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:32,200
Speaker 5: Weird because he left when I did and he dropped

686
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:35,680
Speaker 5: Susie in Franket daycare. Okay, I got the app notification

687
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:39,520
Speaker 5: confirming that I called and texted him and got no answers.

688
00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:42,080
Speaker 5: I got worried. I got off work and got the

689
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 5: kids and rushed home and he was making dinner. I

690
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:47,400
Speaker 5: asked him about being home, and he told me he

691
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:50,040
Speaker 5: went to work and they said he deserved the day off.

692
00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:53,680
Speaker 5: That evening, his brother, sister in law and their baby

693
00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 5: came to stay for the weekend. I couldn't shake the

694
00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:58,600
Speaker 5: feeling he had lied to me. The next morning, I

695
00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:01,280
Speaker 5: called my mom when I ran to get everyone's coffee.

696
00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:03,720
Speaker 5: She said to trust my gut and to check the

697
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:07,120
Speaker 5: cameras for timestamps on the other days. Well I did.

698
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:10,840
Speaker 5: He didn't go to work that entire week. The timing

699
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:13,840
Speaker 5: wasn't going to work and coming home. It was dropping

700
00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:17,760
Speaker 5: the kids and coming straight home every single day that week.

701
00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:20,560
Speaker 5: I got back to the house with coffee and was fuming.

702
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:24,320
Speaker 5: I asked him to come outside and chat. I asked him,

703
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:28,880
Speaker 5: He lied, I called him out. He lied again and again.

704
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:32,960
Speaker 5: Finally he ended it with me being the reason he

705
00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:36,240
Speaker 5: needed some time alone and didn't tell me because I

706
00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:39,600
Speaker 5: would react like this to him taking time off work.

707
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:43,920
Speaker 5: This time his gas lighting didn't work on me though. Yes,

708
00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:48,080
Speaker 5: trust was broken and it had to be repaired. His

709
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:50,560
Speaker 5: brother and family left that day, and the next day,

710
00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:52,680
Speaker 5: my kids and I went out shopping with my mom,

711
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:58,200
Speaker 5: giving Toby some space. Now December twenty twenty three. On

712
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 5: our way to her house, I really I forgot something

713
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,200
Speaker 5: at home, and so we stopped and I ran in.

714
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 5: Toby wasn't downstairs, but the baby gate was up. Odd

715
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:10,279
Speaker 5: because I have the babies. I go upstairs and the

716
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:11,640
Speaker 5: top baby gate is closed.

717
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:12,720
Speaker 2: Also odd.

718
00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:16,120
Speaker 5: Then I noticed rolled towels at the bottom of our

719
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:20,279
Speaker 5: bedroom door. I was once a teenager. I know how

720
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:23,000
Speaker 5: to stop a certain smell from moving to other rooms.

721
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:25,440
Speaker 4: I opened the door and.

722
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:27,040
Speaker 5: He was standing at the end of our bed wearing

723
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:29,680
Speaker 5: a VR headset, smoking the Devil's lettuce in our room

724
00:34:29,719 --> 00:34:33,440
Speaker 5: where we and our baby's sleep. So the Devil's lettuce

725
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:36,560
Speaker 5: is not illegal here. But I lost it, not because

726
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:38,719
Speaker 5: he was smoking it, but because he didn't do it

727
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:42,320
Speaker 5: outside and chose to breathe it all over our baby's beds.

728
00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:45,600
Speaker 5: Much much after this happened, my friends pointed out what

729
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:48,960
Speaker 5: else he could be doing. My best guess is watching

730
00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:52,080
Speaker 5: VR corn and the shock he had was because he

731
00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:55,160
Speaker 5: thought that was what I would be mad about. Anyway,

732
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:58,600
Speaker 5: back to the storyline, I was mad. I left and

733
00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:00,680
Speaker 5: told him as much. The and I went to my

734
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:02,680
Speaker 5: mom's for dinner. And when I came home that evening,

735
00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:05,040
Speaker 5: he had moved all of his stuff into his office

736
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:08,399
Speaker 5: and locked himself in. Turns out, he created a whole

737
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:11,040
Speaker 5: room for himself. It had a twin bed set up,

738
00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:13,440
Speaker 5: went through the whole house and put everything he felt

739
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:15,880
Speaker 5: was his into the room and locked the door whether

740
00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:18,239
Speaker 5: he was in there or not. After two days I

741
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:20,960
Speaker 5: asked him, and he said, our marriage was over.

742
00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:24,000
Speaker 2: Babe. You did this, You allowed this to happen.

743
00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:27,080
Speaker 5: You did this to us. Over the next month, he

744
00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:31,000
Speaker 5: would have violent and terrifying outbursts. He wouldn't help with

745
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,719
Speaker 5: the kids. He'd lock himself in the room. He'd take

746
00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:36,800
Speaker 5: food and eat him there. There were no dishes left downstairs,

747
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:38,520
Speaker 5: and a smell was coming from the room.

748
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:39,080
Speaker 8: Ugh.

749
00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:41,600
Speaker 5: I called his brother and he came from the island

750
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:45,000
Speaker 5: an island and convinced Toby he needed to take a

751
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:47,360
Speaker 5: vacation and go stay with them for a week. This

752
00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:49,520
Speaker 5: was my idea to get him away from the kids

753
00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:52,600
Speaker 5: and me. I had never been afraid, but was now

754
00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:54,920
Speaker 5: and needed him out. My mom and I got into

755
00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:57,920
Speaker 5: the room and it was disgusting. We cleaned it up

756
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:00,360
Speaker 5: while he was gone. His brother had him call me

757
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:03,080
Speaker 5: daily and he was sweet and kind and apologized and

758
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:04,719
Speaker 5: said he wanted to make our marriage work.

759
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:07,000
Speaker 4: No, I agreed he could come home.

760
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:10,759
Speaker 5: It was all live. It was actually worse. It was

761
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:14,160
Speaker 5: worse when he came home. Oh. No, I have audio

762
00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:16,759
Speaker 5: recordings of him screaming and yelling. I won't get into

763
00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:18,520
Speaker 5: detail because most of it is a part of our

764
00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:21,640
Speaker 5: court stuff. Now now I'm gonna skip on over to

765
00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:24,960
Speaker 5: Christmas Eve, he went to work. I was sick of

766
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:28,359
Speaker 5: him locking himself in his room. I changed all of

767
00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:31,239
Speaker 5: the locking doorknobs to non locking ones because our daughter

768
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:34,160
Speaker 5: spent an hour crying outside his door while he ignored her.

769
00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:37,239
Speaker 5: I had decided he wasn't a tenant anymore and he

770
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:39,880
Speaker 5: needed to contribute to parenting and everything else or leave

771
00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:42,280
Speaker 5: the kids. And I went to my mom's for Christmas

772
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:45,239
Speaker 5: Eve and Toby got off work. I knew because that's

773
00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:48,400
Speaker 5: when the phone calls came. He screamed, screamed at me

774
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:51,040
Speaker 5: that I would regret removing his lock, that I don't

775
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,360
Speaker 5: deserve privacy, that he needs it, and I need to

776
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:55,839
Speaker 5: stay out of his room. He said he went and

777
00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:57,839
Speaker 5: got a lock, and that I can do the whole

778
00:36:57,880 --> 00:37:00,439
Speaker 5: magic of Christmas by my shelf, and I'd be lucky

779
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:03,320
Speaker 5: if I ever saw him outside that room again. Needless

780
00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:08,720
Speaker 5: to say, I was flappergasted. I went home and snuck

781
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:11,040
Speaker 5: out all the presents for the kids, got us clothes

782
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:13,080
Speaker 5: and what we needed, and the kids and I spent

783
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:15,879
Speaker 5: the night at my parents' house and did Christmas morning there.

784
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:18,960
Speaker 5: I had texted him informing him and said he could

785
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,640
Speaker 5: come if he didn't start a fight. Anyways. He ended

786
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:23,680
Speaker 5: up moving out December twenty eighth and stayed with his

787
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:25,360
Speaker 5: brother for a few weeks while he looked for a

788
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:30,800
Speaker 5: place January through July of twenty twenty four. I essentially

789
00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:33,440
Speaker 5: forced him to spend time with our kids. I had

790
00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:36,200
Speaker 5: gone to court without him. He didn't reply to being served.

791
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:39,640
Speaker 5: It's a thing that because he didn't bother doing paperwork,

792
00:37:39,719 --> 00:37:42,040
Speaker 5: he didn't get to go. I got a really good

793
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:44,439
Speaker 5: order from the judge, which included a conduct order because

794
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:46,799
Speaker 5: I showed her texts and videos he sent meant for

795
00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:49,600
Speaker 5: the kids bad mouthing me. Now, this is where it

796
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:52,480
Speaker 5: truly goes off the rails. Oh, we've been on the

797
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:56,080
Speaker 5: rails this whole time. This is literally the scene from

798
00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:58,640
Speaker 5: Bridge over the River Kwai where they blow it up

799
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:01,840
Speaker 5: and the train falls in the river. That's been the

800
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:05,520
Speaker 5: whole story. Train in the river. But I'm afraid.

801
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:06,080
Speaker 4: Here we go.

802
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:07,040
Speaker 5: I'm afraid.

803
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:10,240
Speaker 7: Okay, let's let's dive this little train back to the future.

804
00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:10,560
Speaker 4: Three.

805
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:12,920
Speaker 5: The planes flying through the sky. Now, not the plane,

806
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:18,040
Speaker 5: the train. The train is taken off. Lordy, Lordie July

807
00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:21,400
Speaker 5: twenty twenty four. We had been getting along quite well

808
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:23,840
Speaker 5: for a few weeks and he invited me to go

809
00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:26,600
Speaker 5: with him and the kids to visit his family on

810
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:29,880
Speaker 5: the island. I went to the island. It didn't go great,

811
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:32,560
Speaker 5: and we fought, and without going into detail, he broke

812
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:34,719
Speaker 5: the conduct order by calling me horrible things in front

813
00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:37,920
Speaker 5: of our kids. They put in an application for enforcement

814
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:41,040
Speaker 5: for the conduct order and had him served. Meanwhile, I

815
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:43,640
Speaker 5: had found my old tablet while cleaning up the house

816
00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:46,680
Speaker 5: to turn Toby's old office into a room for Frank.

817
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:50,200
Speaker 5: I charged it up and turned it on. Toby's Gmail

818
00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:53,759
Speaker 5: was logged in. I got nosy and noticed there were

819
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:56,840
Speaker 5: current photos. I scrolled and scrolled, and what I found

820
00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:59,239
Speaker 5: made me rage and pause here really quick because I

821
00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:04,520
Speaker 5: just remembered they so did I. What could this possibly be?

822
00:39:05,239 --> 00:39:09,200
Speaker 7: We need to actually legitimately have this man in the

823
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:14,560
Speaker 7: jail cell and go beck over his actions and realize

824
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:19,680
Speaker 7: the painous things he's already done, even up until this moment, horrendous.

825
00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:23,440
Speaker 7: He needs to be in the box and think in

826
00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:25,880
Speaker 7: the box and understand what he's done wrong.

827
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:28,520
Speaker 5: He's the man in the box. They were a photo

828
00:39:29,040 --> 00:39:34,000
Speaker 5: so many photos, some of his junk while we were married.

829
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:36,799
Speaker 5: You only really take those to send to people, and

830
00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:41,960
Speaker 5: he sure wasn't sending into me photos of him, photos

831
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:48,200
Speaker 5: of his bottom, photos of him in women's underwear. M

832
00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:51,000
Speaker 5: so many photos.

833
00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:53,640
Speaker 2: Using some toys.

834
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:59,480
Speaker 5: Were the body, but none of those sent me into

835
00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:02,800
Speaker 5: my rage. It was the photos of his sister in

836
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:08,080
Speaker 5: law while holding his brother's hand and her baby, of

837
00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:10,040
Speaker 5: her rear end, zoomed in and cropped in.

838
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:10,759
Speaker 4: Some photos.

839
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:15,760
Speaker 5: Oh eoh, there were some of our daughter's soccer coach.

840
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:19,319
Speaker 5: There was our cleaner, my tattoo artist. Some patrons of

841
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:22,279
Speaker 5: the ARCADI worked at all of their rear ends, and

842
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:24,560
Speaker 5: all from January of twenty twenty three when I had

843
00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:27,840
Speaker 5: our son until current. I documented it and moved on.

844
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:31,400
Speaker 5: I don't know if that's a man in the box scenario.

845
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:35,080
Speaker 5: I feel like that's a crime. It feels crimish to me.

846
00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:39,920
Speaker 5: I agree, feels pretty crimy. Yeah, crime and grimey. If

847
00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:42,879
Speaker 5: it's not should be. And he can crime a river

848
00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:45,760
Speaker 5: when he gets sent to the box. Boo doo doo, doo,

849
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:49,200
Speaker 5: doo doo doo doo. I had a tattoo appointment with

850
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:51,840
Speaker 5: my friend who was in the photos Later that week,

851
00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:55,720
Speaker 5: I told her about them and we laughed. Grows but whatever.

852
00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:59,160
Speaker 5: Right then her husband laughed and suggested he posted them

853
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:01,359
Speaker 5: on some public but reddit for him, and I should

854
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:04,359
Speaker 5: check the reddit on the tablet. Well, folks, if you're

855
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:06,640
Speaker 5: still here, I apologize for the length and thank you

856
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:09,719
Speaker 5: for sticking it out, because it's all honestly needed to

857
00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:12,880
Speaker 5: get off my chest. Here's the thing. I didn't see

858
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:15,320
Speaker 5: any of the photos I had found. Instead, I found

859
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:19,880
Speaker 5: candid photos he took of my mother in her house,

860
00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:24,960
Speaker 5: oh four years ago, of her face and cleavage. Ooh.

861
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:31,200
Speaker 5: They had titles that still make my body shake with rage. Hmm, okay,

862
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:34,480
Speaker 5: I'm just gonna skip them. Yep, I'd be very upset.

863
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:37,719
Speaker 5: This is teeth through the back of the head territory.

864
00:41:38,239 --> 00:41:41,920
Speaker 5: I documented and deleted them, but man, I was angry.

865
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:45,399
Speaker 5: I confronted him via text, and his response was, how

866
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:46,319
Speaker 5: did you find these?

867
00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:47,440
Speaker 4: Where did you get these?

868
00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:48,759
Speaker 2: I feel so exposed.

869
00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:51,880
Speaker 5: A few times since I found them, he tried to

870
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:52,960
Speaker 5: tell me they didn't exist.

871
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:53,799
Speaker 4: They do.

872
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:55,920
Speaker 5: I have them in a secure folder on my phone,

873
00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:58,480
Speaker 5: and my lawyer has them in case the divorce goes sideways.

874
00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:01,080
Speaker 5: There we go. I never got an explanation about any

875
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:03,600
Speaker 5: of the photos, and I likely never will. I'm sure

876
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:05,600
Speaker 5: he cheated on me, but at this point would it

877
00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:08,640
Speaker 5: even matter? Where do we think the path forward here?

878
00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:16,960
Speaker 9: Oh, this guy is so slimy and the things that

879
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:21,480
Speaker 9: he has done are very very heinous, very very creepy.

880
00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:24,080
Speaker 2: We need to.

881
00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:30,360
Speaker 7: My ideal dream scenario. We get him as far away

882
00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:35,759
Speaker 7: from the family as possible, and we siphon all of

883
00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:41,040
Speaker 7: the pennies he has for the kids to pay for

884
00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:42,600
Speaker 7: his crimes of creepiness.

885
00:42:43,080 --> 00:42:46,440
Speaker 5: Indeed, indeed, and that's about it.

886
00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:49,319
Speaker 7: And get like he was able to stay there and

887
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:51,560
Speaker 7: he was already doing all this stuff. It's like and

888
00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:54,000
Speaker 7: I get it. I guess op was like trying to

889
00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:57,760
Speaker 7: be kind, empathetic. This is the father of her children.

890
00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:03,239
Speaker 7: I understand why she would maybe be more forgiving and

891
00:43:03,239 --> 00:43:06,920
Speaker 7: give him these chances, but he does not deserve them.

892
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:07,839
Speaker 5: At this point, when.

893
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:13,200
Speaker 7: We get to these kind of territories, it's not necessary

894
00:43:13,239 --> 00:43:14,400
Speaker 7: the children are involved.

895
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:18,239
Speaker 2: You just deserve your piece, point blank, period. Get that.

896
00:43:18,719 --> 00:43:21,400
Speaker 2: Protect the children, get them in the best situation possible.

897
00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:23,120
Speaker 2: See if we can get any of.

898
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:27,320
Speaker 7: His two pennies he's rubbing together to help the children

899
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:28,600
Speaker 7: and everything, and then that's it.

900
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:30,680
Speaker 4: Over the next few months, he.

901
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:33,600
Speaker 5: Would continue our custody battle with me trying to organize

902
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:36,799
Speaker 5: and get things sorted in him ignoring me and weaponizing incompetence.

903
00:43:37,239 --> 00:43:40,000
Speaker 5: I have filed for divorce. I currently have the kids

904
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:43,080
Speaker 5: ninety nine percent because his schedule doesn't work to have them,

905
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:46,360
Speaker 5: and moving in with his girlfriend and changing jobs for

906
00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:48,680
Speaker 5: the third time since we split has made it hard

907
00:43:48,680 --> 00:43:50,719
Speaker 5: for him to give them time. This guy's got to

908
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:53,480
Speaker 5: go crazy. Ace guy's got a go friend. I plan

909
00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:55,560
Speaker 5: on moving on with my life with the nicest guy

910
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:57,839
Speaker 5: I've ever met, who adores my kids and wants them around.

911
00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:01,520
Speaker 5: However much we can court is but I'm confident because

912
00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:02,080
Speaker 5: Toby has.

913
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:03,439
Speaker 4: Made it clear where his priorities are.

914
00:44:03,719 --> 00:44:05,440
Speaker 5: He doesn't pay a child supports still, but there's a

915
00:44:05,440 --> 00:44:08,399
Speaker 5: government program to enforce, so I don't have to chase him.

916
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:10,960
Speaker 5: Nice I don't really have to even deal with him

917
00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:12,960
Speaker 5: at this point because the parenting time we have in

918
00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:16,040
Speaker 5: writing doesn't work for him, so he has to request

919
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:18,640
Speaker 5: taking them, which I would never prevent. But he simply

920
00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:21,560
Speaker 5: doesn't try to see them, and I'm done forcing it. Yep.

921
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:25,680
Speaker 5: Sounds like a deadbeat dad, I don't know. On the

922
00:44:25,719 --> 00:44:27,400
Speaker 5: sound of that room, sounds like he regrets to the

923
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:28,759
Speaker 5: state of an actual teenager.

924
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:32,439
Speaker 2: You know, that was that was his goal and dream.

925
00:44:32,520 --> 00:44:36,239
Speaker 10: He's like, yeah, I've got my like little girlfriend and

926
00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:40,280
Speaker 10: then can smoke my stuff and then I can play

927
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:46,040
Speaker 10: the VR the VR games. Yeah and yeah, and I'm

928
00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:48,800
Speaker 10: happy I have no job.

929
00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:50,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, dude, like.

930
00:44:51,239 --> 00:44:52,560
Speaker 2: He got, he won.

931
00:44:52,719 --> 00:44:56,279
Speaker 5: You can't get exact dream of a fourteen year old boy. Like.

932
00:44:56,360 --> 00:45:00,560
Speaker 7: That's got to change our dreams, budd he is, and

933
00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:02,440
Speaker 7: that's that's where he's atta.

934
00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:05,879
Speaker 5: Gotta let our dreams ebb and flow as we move

935
00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:07,360
Speaker 5: through life. We've got to lock.

936
00:45:07,239 --> 00:45:10,120
Speaker 7: In in at fourteen and not DEVI eight one freakin'

937
00:45:10,480 --> 00:45:12,520
Speaker 7: millimeter wait, locked.

938
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:16,720
Speaker 5: In at fourteen unemployed gamer for the rest of my life.

939
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:23,200
Speaker 5: Go yeah, oh brother, yup.

940
00:45:23,719 --> 00:45:26,200
Speaker 4: Well that's the end of that story, folks.

941
00:45:27,719 --> 00:45:30,800
Speaker 7: My wife refuses intimacy with me, so I started looking

942
00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:31,800
Speaker 7: for attention elsewhere.

943
00:45:32,239 --> 00:45:34,479
Speaker 4: We're over there, who's over here?

944
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:38,120
Speaker 5: You sure about that? So a little backstory.

945
00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:40,759
Speaker 7: My thirty four male wife thirty one female and I

946
00:45:40,800 --> 00:45:43,000
Speaker 7: have been together for five years and married for three.

947
00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:45,359
Speaker 7: The past two years have been pretty stressful for her

948
00:45:45,560 --> 00:45:48,440
Speaker 7: for her and me as she was finishing up Masters

949
00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:51,399
Speaker 7: in a really competitive program. By the way, this comes

950
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:54,000
Speaker 7: from Throwaway seven eight seven seven sixty six and if

951
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:55,440
Speaker 7: you want some ear own story, go to the r

952
00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:58,640
Speaker 7: slash Okay storytime Separate. So the last year of the

953
00:45:58,640 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 7: program was last year, and it was and it really

954
00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:04,920
Speaker 7: pushed her heart. During that time, our time in the

955
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:08,799
Speaker 7: bedroom dwindled away to nothing, as she was always either

956
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:11,960
Speaker 7: studying or in class when you should have been studying

957
00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:13,480
Speaker 7: dead ass.

958
00:46:15,719 --> 00:46:18,520
Speaker 5: She should have been studying each other's bodies.

959
00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:22,960
Speaker 2: Oh god. She finished the Masters June of last year.

960
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:25,400
Speaker 7: I was expecting that things would pick back up in

961
00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:28,600
Speaker 7: the bedroom again after it was over, but it hasn't.

962
00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:31,919
Speaker 7: She still turned me down all the time, stressing about

963
00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:34,799
Speaker 7: finding a job. It's to the point where the last

964
00:46:34,880 --> 00:46:38,760
Speaker 7: time we had spicy sleep was April of twenty eighteen.

965
00:46:39,120 --> 00:46:41,600
Speaker 7: Every time I tried initiating or doing a date night

966
00:46:41,719 --> 00:46:44,560
Speaker 7: or being romantic, it always ends up with her being

967
00:46:44,600 --> 00:46:47,640
Speaker 7: too tired. I even told her I'd settle for dirty

968
00:46:47,719 --> 00:46:50,720
Speaker 7: talk every once in a while, but she didn't feel

969
00:46:50,719 --> 00:46:53,719
Speaker 7: like doing that either. I suggested we go to counseling.

970
00:46:54,080 --> 00:46:56,399
Speaker 7: She said that she would find a counselor she liked.

971
00:46:56,880 --> 00:47:00,719
Speaker 7: I waited, asked again, she called me selfish.

972
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:01,440
Speaker 5: I gave up.

973
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:03,719
Speaker 2: I lost my mind for the first couple of months,

974
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:06,480
Speaker 2: and then I decided to focus on myself and start

975
00:47:06,520 --> 00:47:08,640
Speaker 2: working out and keep doing my own thing.

976
00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:11,359
Speaker 6: By the way, John, this is from six years ago.

977
00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:14,839
Speaker 6: Six years ago, so twenty nineteen, twenty nine.

978
00:47:14,880 --> 00:47:17,600
Speaker 7: Okay, so it had been like a maybe a year

979
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:21,359
Speaker 7: or less roughly since they had done a hanky painting.

980
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:23,800
Speaker 4: I don't know, man, it feels like your wife doesn't

981
00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:24,160
Speaker 4: like you.

982
00:47:25,280 --> 00:47:27,080
Speaker 7: Before the lack of spicy sleep thing, we had a

983
00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:29,239
Speaker 7: pretty good relationship, but now it's gotten to be more

984
00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:32,120
Speaker 7: like roommates than husband slash wife. Fast forward to this

985
00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:34,439
Speaker 7: past weekend. We went out to watch the Super Bowl

986
00:47:34,440 --> 00:47:36,439
Speaker 7: with another couple who are good friends of ours. While

987
00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:39,160
Speaker 7: we're at the sports bar, we met and started hanging

988
00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:41,919
Speaker 7: out with a random group of people also watching the game.

989
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:44,560
Speaker 7: A very attractive woman who is part of that group

990
00:47:44,719 --> 00:47:47,879
Speaker 7: kept winding up next to me and making small talk

991
00:47:47,920 --> 00:47:50,120
Speaker 7: with me and looking at me in a way that

992
00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:52,239
Speaker 7: was obviously flirty.

993
00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 5: Ooh.

994
00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:57,400
Speaker 7: I kept it clean, but definitely kept up the banter.

995
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:00,000
Speaker 7: When the girl went to the bathroom, my wife pulled

996
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:02,160
Speaker 7: be over and said in front of our couple friends,

997
00:48:02,239 --> 00:48:04,880
Speaker 7: something to the effect of, it's obvious that girls into you.

998
00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:06,040
Speaker 5: I don't want to hear talking to her.

999
00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:09,000
Speaker 7: Something about the way she said it she said it

1000
00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:12,359
Speaker 7: to me triggered something, and I just came back with

1001
00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:14,960
Speaker 7: something like, I'm just happy to have some attention.

1002
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:15,360
Speaker 2: Baby.

1003
00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:19,080
Speaker 7: It's been a long time, almost a year now, done,

1004
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:24,600
Speaker 7: done done. The secret has been exposed. At the sports bar.

1005
00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:29,279
Speaker 7: The only person winning the super Bowl is not you,

1006
00:48:30,520 --> 00:48:32,040
Speaker 7: because you lost.

1007
00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:34,040
Speaker 2: And you didn't get anything.

1008
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:39,360
Speaker 7: She looked shocked, then angry, then angrier. Our friends just

1009
00:48:39,400 --> 00:48:44,120
Speaker 7: turned around and started watching the game again. Okay, and

1010
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:48,000
Speaker 7: right then the other girl came back and introduced herself

1011
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:53,560
Speaker 7: to my wife. Ooh, gotta love timing. My wife walked away,

1012
00:48:53,719 --> 00:48:55,960
Speaker 7: and the wife of our friend followed her. We left

1013
00:48:55,960 --> 00:48:57,880
Speaker 7: the bar soon after and shared a newer back with

1014
00:48:57,920 --> 00:49:00,680
Speaker 7: the other couple. We got into a fight we never fight,

1015
00:49:00,719 --> 00:49:03,000
Speaker 7: about her lack of interest in going to counseling, and

1016
00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:05,000
Speaker 7: she told me that she thought I was selfish and

1017
00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:08,440
Speaker 7: not understanding. We haven't talked much since. I don't want

1018
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:10,719
Speaker 7: to end my marriage, but I don't see any compromise

1019
00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:11,200
Speaker 7: in her.

1020
00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:13,240
Speaker 5: At all before I start divorce.

1021
00:49:13,640 --> 00:49:15,759
Speaker 7: I want to know if there is anything we can

1022
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:20,760
Speaker 7: do to say things thanks and there is an update

1023
00:49:21,680 --> 00:49:25,880
Speaker 7: on the horizon. Yeah, I mean, it seems like clearly

1024
00:49:26,080 --> 00:49:30,640
Speaker 7: something is happening with her or or she has the

1025
00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:35,600
Speaker 7: most insane case of chronic tiredness that we've ever ever seen.

1026
00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:39,239
Speaker 7: But it's probably the former, and it seems that she

1027
00:49:39,360 --> 00:49:42,200
Speaker 7: isn't addressing it or or talking about it and kind

1028
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:44,160
Speaker 7: of giving o po leeway. I don't know what say

1029
00:49:44,239 --> 00:49:45,920
Speaker 7: udakodees this A is this a reasonable thing?

1030
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:49,280
Speaker 5: To be trillion million reasons under the sun why someone

1031
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:56,000
Speaker 5: could lose their drive in the in the boudoir. Uh,

1032
00:49:56,040 --> 00:49:59,040
Speaker 5: you're a goofy for not having had like a real

1033
00:49:59,080 --> 00:50:03,399
Speaker 5: conversation about I mean, it sounds like maybe you've had

1034
00:50:03,440 --> 00:50:07,200
Speaker 5: what could be the beginnings of a real conversation. It's possible,

1035
00:50:07,280 --> 00:50:09,959
Speaker 5: but it has always started as like a confrontation where

1036
00:50:09,960 --> 00:50:11,759
Speaker 5: it's like, hey, you're.

1037
00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:12,799
Speaker 4: Doing the wrong thing.

1038
00:50:13,239 --> 00:50:17,359
Speaker 5: I need this, and then your wife's being like, well, no,

1039
00:50:17,600 --> 00:50:20,600
Speaker 5: I'm not, I'm tired of this. I'm that I feel

1040
00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:25,080
Speaker 5: like it could start from a different place of like like, hey,

1041
00:50:25,640 --> 00:50:29,000
Speaker 5: I clearly I feel like all my needs aren't being met.

1042
00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:33,040
Speaker 4: Do you feel like all of yours are? M boom.

1043
00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:33,520
Speaker 5: I like that.

1044
00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:35,200
Speaker 2: Oh, let's get into this update.

1045
00:50:36,480 --> 00:50:36,719
Speaker 8: Wow.

1046
00:50:37,480 --> 00:50:40,439
Speaker 7: So that Saturday, after my original post, I tried again

1047
00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:42,320
Speaker 7: to talk to her about what I felt was missing

1048
00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:43,239
Speaker 7: in our relationship.

1049
00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:44,919
Speaker 5: This did not go well.

1050
00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:47,440
Speaker 7: The next Saturday, I went out and rented an apartment

1051
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:50,319
Speaker 7: with at least starting March. First, I went back home

1052
00:50:50,360 --> 00:50:52,600
Speaker 7: and told her that I would be moving out. I

1053
00:50:52,680 --> 00:50:54,839
Speaker 7: said I did not know what was going on with her,

1054
00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:57,319
Speaker 7: and since she did not want to do anything about it,

1055
00:50:57,400 --> 00:50:58,520
Speaker 7: I wanted a divorce.

1056
00:50:58,920 --> 00:51:00,440
Speaker 2: I loved her, but I.

1057
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:01,920
Speaker 5: Didn't live like a hostage anymore.

1058
00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:05,840
Speaker 7: She got really quiet and then started sobbing and telling

1059
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:08,960
Speaker 7: me that I was cruel and selfish, and that my

1060
00:51:09,080 --> 00:51:12,120
Speaker 7: focus on spicy sleep was the issue and that I

1061
00:51:12,160 --> 00:51:13,400
Speaker 7: should go to counseling for that.

1062
00:51:14,080 --> 00:51:14,400
Speaker 5: Again.

1063
00:51:15,040 --> 00:51:17,359
Speaker 7: I was hoping that she would have said something else,

1064
00:51:17,560 --> 00:51:20,080
Speaker 7: but since she didn't, I just started packing a.

1065
00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:21,080
Speaker 5: Few things for work.

1066
00:51:21,480 --> 00:51:23,279
Speaker 7: She asked me where I was going, and I told

1067
00:51:23,320 --> 00:51:24,799
Speaker 7: her that I would be staying at my parents for

1068
00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:28,640
Speaker 7: the next few weeks until my lease started. As soon

1069
00:51:28,800 --> 00:51:31,000
Speaker 7: as I told her I would be staying at my parents,

1070
00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:33,760
Speaker 7: she got really quiet and asked me if I'd told.

1071
00:51:33,520 --> 00:51:34,360
Speaker 5: My parents yet.

1072
00:51:34,719 --> 00:51:38,000
Speaker 7: Sirens started going off of my head immediately I had

1073
00:51:38,080 --> 00:51:39,920
Speaker 7: said I said that I had not.

1074
00:51:40,480 --> 00:51:41,239
Speaker 5: This was a lie.

1075
00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:44,839
Speaker 7: Then she got quiet for about five minutes, and right

1076
00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:47,160
Speaker 7: when I was about to walk out the door.

1077
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:51,880
Speaker 5: She asked me not to leave. Conspiracy. I see you theory.

1078
00:51:52,719 --> 00:51:55,720
Speaker 5: Courtney Electro in the chat said, I think she cheated

1079
00:51:55,760 --> 00:52:03,759
Speaker 5: and is feeling guilty. I think maybe at Mabby what happened, maybe.

1080
00:52:03,800 --> 00:52:07,760
Speaker 7: Because we had a little bit of a projectione. Maybe

1081
00:52:08,120 --> 00:52:11,719
Speaker 7: allegedly in the earlier scene where the girl came up

1082
00:52:11,719 --> 00:52:12,760
Speaker 7: to Opie.

1083
00:52:12,440 --> 00:52:14,239
Speaker 2: And she's like, oh no, no, She's like, I don't

1084
00:52:14,239 --> 00:52:14,920
Speaker 2: want you to talk to her.

1085
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:18,680
Speaker 7: Yeah, which you know, in a in a different scenario,

1086
00:52:18,840 --> 00:52:21,600
Speaker 7: it's like, Okay, this girl is trying to give with you.

1087
00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:24,000
Speaker 7: But if we think about it in this context, it

1088
00:52:24,160 --> 00:52:27,520
Speaker 7: does make sense if the alleged is true.

1089
00:52:27,640 --> 00:52:28,359
Speaker 2: Then she got quiet.

1090
00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:30,160
Speaker 7: She got quiet for about five minutes, and right when

1091
00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:31,680
Speaker 7: I was about to walk at the door, she asked

1092
00:52:31,680 --> 00:52:34,279
Speaker 7: me not to leave. She wanted to talk, and then

1093
00:52:34,320 --> 00:52:37,040
Speaker 7: she told me something I didn't want to hear. She

1094
00:52:37,200 --> 00:52:39,600
Speaker 7: cheated on me with a guy in her classes here

1095
00:52:39,760 --> 00:52:41,440
Speaker 7: and got an st.

1096
00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:45,760
Speaker 5: I so she was actually just being considerate.

1097
00:52:46,040 --> 00:52:49,560
Speaker 2: Oh, so considerate this whole time, so considerate. Oh my gosh.

1098
00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:52,560
Speaker 7: Nothing fatal, but not the kind you can get rid of.

1099
00:52:52,840 --> 00:52:55,080
Speaker 7: She told me that it only happened one time, but

1100
00:52:55,160 --> 00:52:56,720
Speaker 7: I am not sure that that is true.

1101
00:52:57,200 --> 00:52:57,759
Speaker 5: I was numb.

1102
00:52:57,920 --> 00:53:00,200
Speaker 7: One of my female friends told me that my wife

1103
00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:03,000
Speaker 7: cheating was a possibility, but I didn't believe it. I

1104
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:05,759
Speaker 7: didn't say anything while my wife talked, mostly because my

1105
00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:08,600
Speaker 7: mind was reeling, but also because I didn't really have

1106
00:53:08,719 --> 00:53:11,200
Speaker 7: anything to say. I realized now that I had said

1107
00:53:11,280 --> 00:53:13,360
Speaker 7: everything I had to say over the course of the

1108
00:53:13,360 --> 00:53:17,600
Speaker 7: previous year, and now I had nothing. After she finished talking,

1109
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:22,319
Speaker 7: I just told her, okay, I will write okay, and

1110
00:53:22,360 --> 00:53:24,440
Speaker 7: then I left the house with her in it and

1111
00:53:24,480 --> 00:53:27,719
Speaker 7: went to my parents' house about two hours away. I

1112
00:53:27,760 --> 00:53:29,600
Speaker 7: told her that I would be back, but I've not

1113
00:53:29,719 --> 00:53:32,080
Speaker 7: been back to the house or seen her since. I

1114
00:53:32,120 --> 00:53:34,520
Speaker 7: got to my parents' house and told them everything. They

1115
00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:36,719
Speaker 7: told me they could tell something was wrong for a

1116
00:53:36,760 --> 00:53:38,120
Speaker 7: few months and that they.

1117
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:38,960
Speaker 5: Were very sorry.

1118
00:53:39,280 --> 00:53:40,839
Speaker 7: I had planned to go back to the house, but

1119
00:53:40,880 --> 00:53:43,240
Speaker 7: my mother told me that if I was moving forward

1120
00:53:43,280 --> 00:53:46,040
Speaker 7: with divorce, that I should not go so my mother

1121
00:53:46,080 --> 00:53:48,200
Speaker 7: and father went and got a few personal items for me.

1122
00:53:48,719 --> 00:53:52,400
Speaker 7: Everything else I left. I also contacted a lawyer and

1123
00:53:52,440 --> 00:53:56,240
Speaker 7: told him to contact to contact wife to start the divorce.

1124
00:53:56,840 --> 00:53:59,680
Speaker 7: Wife has called me on seal and at work a

1125
00:53:59,719 --> 00:54:04,040
Speaker 7: few times and even emailed me even AOL and then

1126
00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:08,319
Speaker 7: just kidding, but I didn't read it. She also had

1127
00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:10,160
Speaker 7: one of her friends call me and tell me to

1128
00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:12,920
Speaker 7: please talk to my wife and that she is very sorry.

1129
00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:14,520
Speaker 5: But as soon as I realized it was a friend

1130
00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:15,799
Speaker 5: of hers, I hung up.

1131
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:18,480
Speaker 7: I have two weeks off coming up in April, and

1132
00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:21,440
Speaker 7: I planned to go to Vegas with my buddy. Just

1133
00:54:21,560 --> 00:54:25,680
Speaker 7: be careful, I guess it sounds dangerous. Yeah, go to

1134
00:54:25,800 --> 00:54:29,440
Speaker 7: like go to like some nature or something, go like

1135
00:54:30,120 --> 00:54:31,399
Speaker 7: have like a nice wholesome thing.

1136
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:37,320
Speaker 5: Yes, yeah, skate keeping all my spots, yes, oh oh, gatekeeper.

1137
00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:41,880
Speaker 7: My parents and friends have been very supportive, and I

1138
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 7: honestly feel better than I have felt in a long time.

1139
00:54:44,880 --> 00:54:47,280
Speaker 7: I never thought I would get divorced, and that first

1140
00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:48,920
Speaker 7: week I felt like a failure because I.

1141
00:54:48,920 --> 00:54:51,160
Speaker 5: Knew my marriage was over. It's not on EUOPI.

1142
00:54:51,680 --> 00:54:53,960
Speaker 7: But my father told me something that I've said to

1143
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:58,120
Speaker 7: myself over and over someone else doing the wrong thing

1144
00:54:58,600 --> 00:55:01,840
Speaker 7: makes them the failure. I hung out this week with

1145
00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:04,480
Speaker 7: a girl from my job who have always gotten along

1146
00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:07,879
Speaker 7: with oh by. She saw me at work last week

1147
00:55:07,920 --> 00:55:10,120
Speaker 7: without my ring and asked me what happened.

1148
00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:13,879
Speaker 2: Oh, she wants clock and that I think.

1149
00:55:14,040 --> 00:55:17,080
Speaker 7: I think Opie might be a little bit funny because

1150
00:55:17,120 --> 00:55:20,040
Speaker 7: the very attractive girl approached him. This girl from work

1151
00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:23,240
Speaker 7: is clocking his ring being off. That's crazy.

1152
00:55:23,880 --> 00:55:27,520
Speaker 5: Guy's built like a statue. Oh good, hot statue.

1153
00:55:27,680 --> 00:55:28,440
Speaker 4: Oh God.

1154
00:55:29,800 --> 00:55:31,840
Speaker 7: I told her that my wife and I were divorcing.

1155
00:55:32,239 --> 00:55:34,080
Speaker 7: She gave me a hug in the office, and that

1156
00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:35,799
Speaker 7: hug felt like the best.

1157
00:55:35,520 --> 00:55:38,240
Speaker 5: Thing in the world. Oh, be careful, buddy.

1158
00:55:38,800 --> 00:55:41,200
Speaker 7: After work this weekend we went out for a few

1159
00:55:41,280 --> 00:55:43,960
Speaker 7: drinks and just hung out and had fun and ended

1160
00:55:44,080 --> 00:55:46,080
Speaker 7: up back at my place.

1161
00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:49,680
Speaker 2: Op is not heeding the warning I just gave a

1162
00:55:49,719 --> 00:55:51,399
Speaker 2: four point five seconds ago.

1163
00:55:53,080 --> 00:55:56,840
Speaker 7: I am not ready for, nor do I want a relationship, obviously,

1164
00:55:57,160 --> 00:55:59,319
Speaker 7: but it felt so good to be in bed with

1165
00:55:59,360 --> 00:56:02,080
Speaker 7: a woman where it felt so relaxed and accepting.

1166
00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:04,800
Speaker 5: I felt completely at ease.

1167
00:56:06,560 --> 00:56:07,640
Speaker 2: I wonder why.

1168
00:56:09,239 --> 00:56:11,879
Speaker 4: I won't What was what was relaxing you so much?

1169
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:12,920
Speaker 5: Yeah? Yeah, what was?

1170
00:56:13,040 --> 00:56:16,520
Speaker 7: What was the thing that happened that you were then

1171
00:56:16,640 --> 00:56:21,840
Speaker 7: just immediately like relaxed. So I know the divorce is

1172
00:56:21,880 --> 00:56:24,839
Speaker 7: going to be tough, but this weekend, even after all

1173
00:56:24,920 --> 00:56:28,160
Speaker 7: that's happened, I feel like it will be worth it.

1174
00:56:29,080 --> 00:56:33,400
Speaker 7: There is a second update to which I'm diving straight into.

1175
00:56:33,680 --> 00:56:34,160
Speaker 5: Let's do it.

1176
00:56:34,760 --> 00:56:37,040
Speaker 7: Have I talked to my wife or seen her since

1177
00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:39,719
Speaker 7: I left the house? I haven't confused. I haven't communicated

1178
00:56:39,840 --> 00:56:42,600
Speaker 7: or seen soon to be X at all since I

1179
00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:44,960
Speaker 7: moved out. For the first few weeks, she tried calling me,

1180
00:56:45,080 --> 00:56:48,319
Speaker 7: but I stopped answering any unknown numbers. She left me

1181
00:56:48,400 --> 00:56:52,400
Speaker 7: to I R c U crying messages, but as soon

1182
00:56:52,560 --> 00:56:55,880
Speaker 7: but soon after the lawyers got involved, though stopped. Is

1183
00:56:55,920 --> 00:56:59,760
Speaker 7: the divorce going smoothly? Through a lawyer, I offered espousal

1184
00:56:59,800 --> 00:57:03,319
Speaker 7: so amount. He suggested a lump sum. She could have

1185
00:57:03,440 --> 00:57:05,360
Speaker 7: everything in the house. I tried to make it as

1186
00:57:05,400 --> 00:57:08,800
Speaker 7: simple as possible and keep the conversation to a minimum, which,

1187
00:57:08,880 --> 00:57:13,840
Speaker 7: in my opinion, for infidelity, I mean, that's and no kids, that's.

1188
00:57:13,719 --> 00:57:16,320
Speaker 5: A pretty generous offer.

1189
00:57:16,880 --> 00:57:17,760
Speaker 2: About a month or.

1190
00:57:17,680 --> 00:57:20,000
Speaker 7: So after I started, I found out that she had

1191
00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:23,200
Speaker 7: been telling her friends that I had been emotionally harmful

1192
00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:26,120
Speaker 7: to her. Oh that I kept pressuring her to do

1193
00:57:26,240 --> 00:57:31,400
Speaker 7: spicy related things that she didn't want to do.

1194
00:57:33,920 --> 00:57:38,680
Speaker 5: How do you make cheating on your husband worse like this?

1195
00:57:39,720 --> 00:57:44,200
Speaker 7: Yeah? Oh boy, that I wasn't supportive of her pursuing

1196
00:57:44,240 --> 00:57:47,600
Speaker 7: a graduate degree that man, which just keeps getting worse.

1197
00:57:47,960 --> 00:57:50,160
Speaker 7: All of this is a lie, of course, and I

1198
00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:51,880
Speaker 7: almost called it and tell her to quit her bolt.

1199
00:57:52,080 --> 00:57:54,240
Speaker 7: This is the one point where I can say that

1200
00:57:54,280 --> 00:57:57,040
Speaker 7: I felt anger, but thankfully my parents and friends just

1201
00:57:57,080 --> 00:57:59,560
Speaker 7: told me to let the lawyer handle it and not

1202
00:57:59,680 --> 00:58:01,840
Speaker 7: to let her get me to call her, and not

1203
00:58:01,880 --> 00:58:04,080
Speaker 7: to lose my cool for even one second until the

1204
00:58:04,160 --> 00:58:08,000
Speaker 7: divorce was done. Also, through mutual friends, I found out

1205
00:58:08,040 --> 00:58:10,240
Speaker 7: that she has a dating profile on a dating app

1206
00:58:10,280 --> 00:58:13,880
Speaker 7: and is dating. Lawyer tells me that this is a

1207
00:58:13,880 --> 00:58:17,280
Speaker 7: good thing, and I tend to agree. It does kind

1208
00:58:17,280 --> 00:58:20,040
Speaker 7: of a confirm the storyline.

1209
00:58:20,120 --> 00:58:22,520
Speaker 2: There is a lot of information lawyers ask about.

1210
00:58:22,840 --> 00:58:26,680
Speaker 7: It's surreal to have someone you hardly know asking very

1211
00:58:26,720 --> 00:58:30,760
Speaker 7: specific details about your spicy sleep, life, finances, and other

1212
00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:33,520
Speaker 7: very very personal things that would be weird. It's like

1213
00:58:33,560 --> 00:58:38,360
Speaker 7: it's like the doctor for your life details. Overall, this

1214
00:58:38,400 --> 00:58:40,160
Speaker 7: part of the process has been the hardest for me

1215
00:58:40,280 --> 00:58:42,800
Speaker 7: and has left me drain. But on the plus side,

1216
00:58:43,240 --> 00:58:46,200
Speaker 7: the lawyer thinks this will be done in a few weeks,

1217
00:58:46,680 --> 00:58:48,040
Speaker 7: so I will finally be free.

1218
00:58:48,520 --> 00:58:49,360
Speaker 2: What do we think.

1219
00:58:49,160 --> 00:58:54,160
Speaker 7: About Op's kind of rebounding going to Vegas sleeping with

1220
00:58:54,240 --> 00:58:57,720
Speaker 7: I believe it was the coworker seemingly weeks.

1221
00:58:57,800 --> 00:59:00,280
Speaker 2: I believe could have been even sooner after.

1222
00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:07,280
Speaker 8: Or rather, you gotta do what you gotta, don't. Yeah,

1223
00:59:07,400 --> 00:59:10,280
Speaker 8: with so much you like to do whatever you got

1224
00:59:10,360 --> 00:59:14,040
Speaker 8: cheated on, you get a SD we're not allowed to

1225
00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:17,520
Speaker 8: use the d Yeah, I mean, I'm not far that

1226
00:59:17,800 --> 00:59:20,560
Speaker 8: it's not it's the best way to get get over

1227
00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:21,720
Speaker 8: someone is get under someone.

1228
00:59:22,400 --> 00:59:25,160
Speaker 5: No, not that, I just mean that, like if you're out,

1229
00:59:25,840 --> 00:59:27,800
Speaker 5: it's not that it's like, oh I need to, but

1230
00:59:27,880 --> 00:59:30,280
Speaker 5: it's like if it happens, it's not like it's like,

1231
00:59:30,520 --> 00:59:33,520
Speaker 5: well you shouldn't. It's like I don't think you should

1232
00:59:33,520 --> 00:59:35,400
Speaker 5: go jump into a relationship with her, and I don't

1233
00:59:35,400 --> 00:59:38,120
Speaker 5: think that's what he's gonna do. I sure, going to

1234
00:59:38,200 --> 00:59:43,000
Speaker 5: Vegas with your dudes, like it's cliche, But there's a

1235
00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:45,600
Speaker 5: reason that it's cliche. It's because it's what people do

1236
00:59:45,680 --> 00:59:48,400
Speaker 5: sometimes like and as long as you don't go so

1237
00:59:48,800 --> 00:59:53,120
Speaker 5: ballistic that you endanger yourself or others. They you're okay,

1238
00:59:53,640 --> 00:59:57,160
Speaker 5: but you know, it's definitely not something you can do forever.

1239
00:59:57,680 --> 01:00:03,720
Speaker 6: I don't think vegas is the best remedy for things. Personally.

1240
01:00:03,960 --> 01:00:07,120
Speaker 6: Hey do to each their own. I guess me go

1241
01:00:07,360 --> 01:00:08,480
Speaker 6: hit the gym.

1242
01:00:08,360 --> 01:00:08,520
Speaker 9: You know.

1243
01:00:08,720 --> 01:00:12,280
Speaker 7: I I The one thing I will say in uh,

1244
01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:17,240
Speaker 7: to your point Dakota is because of his specific scenario,

1245
01:00:17,720 --> 01:00:22,240
Speaker 7: because it was spicy sleep related, he did say like, oh,

1246
01:00:22,280 --> 01:00:24,960
Speaker 7: it did feel like I think he did get probably

1247
01:00:25,040 --> 01:00:28,600
Speaker 7: a sense of like relief and confidence back of almost

1248
01:00:28,680 --> 01:00:30,680
Speaker 7: like oh I'm not crazy.

1249
01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:35,280
Speaker 2: You know, and uh, maybe a sense of normalcy back.

1250
01:00:35,320 --> 01:00:39,840
Speaker 7: I don't know, but yeah, I feel like generally, if

1251
01:00:39,960 --> 01:00:43,600
Speaker 7: if one can can avoid it, that's that's or like,

1252
01:00:43,640 --> 01:00:48,920
Speaker 7: you know, let it, let it, let it rest. But AnyWho,

1253
01:00:48,960 --> 01:00:50,680
Speaker 7: we've got we've got a bit left of the story,

1254
01:00:50,720 --> 01:00:53,120
Speaker 7: so let's dive on in. But a plus, ie the

1255
01:00:53,160 --> 01:00:54,720
Speaker 7: lawyer thinks she will be done in a few weeks

1256
01:00:54,720 --> 01:00:58,320
Speaker 7: so I'll finally be free. And yes, and that she

1257
01:00:58,400 --> 01:01:01,160
Speaker 7: got an STI and that we hadn't had spicy sleep

1258
01:01:01,200 --> 01:01:03,600
Speaker 7: in a year. I had to explain why I just

1259
01:01:03,640 --> 01:01:05,960
Speaker 7: got up and left. I was very candid. I'm not

1260
01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:08,680
Speaker 7: going to carry any shame for her. How much is

1261
01:01:08,680 --> 01:01:12,280
Speaker 7: the divorce costing? I can't say exactly. Between one hundred

1262
01:01:12,280 --> 01:01:14,600
Speaker 7: thousand and one hundred and fifty thousand.

1263
01:01:14,200 --> 01:01:17,720
Speaker 5: Dollars for a one time buyout? Do I get any

1264
01:01:17,760 --> 01:01:21,840
Speaker 5: incentives with that? Do I get a limited edition T shirt?

1265
01:01:22,040 --> 01:01:24,520
Speaker 7: I have myself checked once right after she told me,

1266
01:01:24,680 --> 01:01:28,000
Speaker 7: and another time since, and I'm clear. Am I still

1267
01:01:28,080 --> 01:01:30,720
Speaker 7: dating the colleague from work? We haven't slept together in

1268
01:01:30,760 --> 01:01:32,520
Speaker 7: a few weeks, but we still hang out and I

1269
01:01:32,600 --> 01:01:36,680
Speaker 7: enjoy it. I would call us friends again. Back on

1270
01:01:36,720 --> 01:01:39,640
Speaker 7: the other point, too, though she she jumped on the

1271
01:01:39,760 --> 01:01:42,440
Speaker 7: chance right after he had the ring off, I'd just

1272
01:01:42,480 --> 01:01:48,680
Speaker 7: be worried about her, like getting wrapped up and involved,

1273
01:01:48,680 --> 01:01:51,960
Speaker 7: and then it's at work, and then yeah, it gets

1274
01:01:51,960 --> 01:01:53,200
Speaker 7: sticky pun intended.

1275
01:01:53,480 --> 01:01:58,280
Speaker 5: Yeah it's getting It's certainly possibility.

1276
01:01:59,560 --> 01:02:02,000
Speaker 1: Sam Ogi host, We're going to get back to these stories,

1277
01:02:02,000 --> 01:02:04,000
Speaker 1: but here's three minutes fads from our sponsors.

1278
01:02:04,040 --> 01:02:07,280
Speaker 3: First, I refuse to defend my brother in law, even

1279
01:02:07,280 --> 01:02:09,440
Speaker 3: though we both missed our child's birth.

1280
01:02:09,600 --> 01:02:12,080
Speaker 5: A same boat, different paddles.

1281
01:02:12,240 --> 01:02:14,880
Speaker 3: So my wife thirty one female and I twenty nine

1282
01:02:14,920 --> 01:02:18,280
Speaker 3: Male have two kids, our older son and younger daughter.

1283
01:02:18,400 --> 01:02:21,480
Speaker 3: My brother in law Josh twenty six Mail, has just

1284
01:02:21,560 --> 01:02:23,960
Speaker 3: had a baby girl with his partner Brad. By the way,

1285
01:02:24,000 --> 01:02:26,200
Speaker 3: this comes from am I the ale missed birth and

1286
01:02:26,240 --> 01:02:27,920
Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

1287
01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:30,440
Speaker 3: the r slash Okay storytime suburt it. On the day

1288
01:02:30,520 --> 01:02:32,800
Speaker 3: my daughter was born two years ago, I was with

1289
01:02:32,920 --> 01:02:35,720
Speaker 3: my other brother in law, Dan, also twenty nine Mail,

1290
01:02:35,760 --> 01:02:38,160
Speaker 3: when he was hit by a car. Understandably, he was

1291
01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:40,480
Speaker 3: in a bad shape and I called an ambulance and

1292
01:02:40,560 --> 01:02:42,760
Speaker 3: his parents told me my wife was in labor. My

1293
01:02:42,880 --> 01:02:44,840
Speaker 3: wife told me over the phone to go with Dan

1294
01:02:44,920 --> 01:02:47,080
Speaker 3: to the hospital and that she'd be fine. He was

1295
01:02:47,120 --> 01:02:49,560
Speaker 3: more worried for Dan than anyone. We were both at

1296
01:02:49,560 --> 01:02:52,480
Speaker 3: different hospitals, my wife at the local hospital and Dan

1297
01:02:52,520 --> 01:02:55,040
Speaker 3: and I at a bigger city hospital, and it culminated

1298
01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:58,040
Speaker 3: in me missing my daughter being born while I stayed

1299
01:02:58,080 --> 01:03:00,600
Speaker 3: with Dan so he wasn't alone and I could keep

1300
01:03:00,640 --> 01:03:04,120
Speaker 3: everyone updated. Dan ended up making a full recovery with

1301
01:03:04,240 --> 01:03:07,280
Speaker 3: some physio, and my daughter was born with no complications,

1302
01:03:07,360 --> 01:03:09,880
Speaker 3: and I met her when she was a few hours old.

1303
01:03:09,960 --> 01:03:12,800
Speaker 3: Now Josh and Brad had a baby do in late August,

1304
01:03:12,880 --> 01:03:15,640
Speaker 3: but Josh had a vacation with his friends booked for July.

1305
01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:18,600
Speaker 3: Note it was a vacation within the country and within

1306
01:03:18,680 --> 01:03:21,680
Speaker 3: the VID restriction. Brad asked him not to go so

1307
01:03:21,840 --> 01:03:24,160
Speaker 3: close to the baby being born, and I also advised

1308
01:03:24,240 --> 01:03:26,439
Speaker 3: him not to go, but he chose to anyway as

1309
01:03:26,440 --> 01:03:29,320
Speaker 3: he thought he had enough time. Evidently he did not.

1310
01:03:30,200 --> 01:03:32,760
Speaker 3: Brad went into labor while he was gone, and his

1311
01:03:32,880 --> 01:03:35,360
Speaker 3: daughter was born without him there. Like my case, it

1312
01:03:35,440 --> 01:03:37,400
Speaker 3: was a few hours before he could get back to

1313
01:03:37,480 --> 01:03:40,520
Speaker 3: meet her. The entire family is fuming at him because

1314
01:03:40,520 --> 01:03:42,200
Speaker 3: we all told him not to go on the vacation.

1315
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:44,760
Speaker 3: He asked for my support because he thought I would

1316
01:03:44,840 --> 01:03:47,480
Speaker 3: understand and told them it's a completely different scenario and

1317
01:03:47,520 --> 01:03:50,320
Speaker 3: that I had no choice and more importantly, my wife's permission.

1318
01:03:50,480 --> 01:03:53,880
Speaker 3: Apparently he and his friends all believe that we, but

1319
01:03:53,960 --> 01:03:56,920
Speaker 3: more specifically me, because I should get it, are a

1320
01:03:57,080 --> 01:04:00,120
Speaker 3: holes because it wasn't his choice to miss the burr

1321
01:04:00,280 --> 01:04:02,320
Speaker 3: because she was born pre MEI I think he's the

1322
01:04:02,320 --> 01:04:05,040
Speaker 3: ale because there is a huge difference between the reasons

1323
01:04:05,120 --> 01:04:08,240
Speaker 3: I couldn't be there versus his reasons. I seriously don't

1324
01:04:08,240 --> 01:04:10,760
Speaker 3: get his logic. So I'm asking you guys for some

1325
01:04:10,800 --> 01:04:12,640
Speaker 3: more perspective. Am I the ale?

1326
01:04:12,960 --> 01:04:13,120
Speaker 4: Edit?

1327
01:04:13,280 --> 01:04:15,040
Speaker 3: I didn't put this in the post to avoid any

1328
01:04:15,080 --> 01:04:18,560
Speaker 3: off topic questions or transpost. But Josh's partner is frans Man,

1329
01:04:18,680 --> 01:04:20,840
Speaker 3: not a wife girlfriend lady. I keep getting asked this.

1330
01:04:21,080 --> 01:04:24,000
Speaker 3: So baby was five to six weeks early. Edit three, Wow,

1331
01:04:24,040 --> 01:04:24,880
Speaker 3: this made it to Twitter.

1332
01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:25,560
Speaker 4: I'm amazed.

1333
01:04:25,680 --> 01:04:28,480
Speaker 3: My wife has two brothers called Dan and Josh. They

1334
01:04:28,520 --> 01:04:31,440
Speaker 3: are brothers, not in a relationship. Josh's partner is the

1335
01:04:31,520 --> 01:04:34,400
Speaker 3: unnamed because, as I said, I tried to avoid gender

1336
01:04:34,560 --> 01:04:37,440
Speaker 3: Edit four, last edit, I promise I've gone back and

1337
01:04:37,520 --> 01:04:40,000
Speaker 3: named Josh's partner Brad to hopefully clear things up. And

1338
01:04:40,080 --> 01:04:44,840
Speaker 3: there are some comments not the ale. He clearly didn't

1339
01:04:44,960 --> 01:04:48,120
Speaker 3: have his priorities straight. If he chooses to go on

1340
01:04:48,120 --> 01:04:51,440
Speaker 3: a vacation when his pregnant partner is asking him not to,

1341
01:04:51,680 --> 01:04:53,600
Speaker 3: he's already an a hole. He is just trying to

1342
01:04:53,720 --> 01:04:56,280
Speaker 3: use you as a shield. Oh, Bie. His logic was

1343
01:04:56,280 --> 01:04:59,240
Speaker 3: that the vacation was booked pre baby, so he should

1344
01:04:59,280 --> 01:05:01,840
Speaker 3: still go, which seems stupid to me. Oh and I

1345
01:05:01,840 --> 01:05:04,040
Speaker 3: don't want a nitpick, but Josh, his partner is a

1346
01:05:04,080 --> 01:05:06,320
Speaker 3: trans man. I just didn't gender him in the post

1347
01:05:06,360 --> 01:05:08,960
Speaker 3: because I didn't want to attract off topic questions. Commedo

1348
01:05:09,000 --> 01:05:11,640
Speaker 3: two info how long was he supposed to be away

1349
01:05:11,640 --> 01:05:13,680
Speaker 3: for and what day of him being gone did the

1350
01:05:13,680 --> 01:05:16,160
Speaker 3: partner go into labor? Opie says, I think it was

1351
01:05:16,200 --> 01:05:18,840
Speaker 3: a week long trip. He left on Sunday morning, and

1352
01:05:18,960 --> 01:05:22,000
Speaker 3: his partner was in labor by Thursday night slash Friday morning.

1353
01:05:22,040 --> 01:05:24,880
Speaker 3: Commeda three says not the ale, especially because his partner

1354
01:05:25,000 --> 01:05:27,720
Speaker 3: is trans. I am sis, but as far as I understand,

1355
01:05:27,840 --> 01:05:32,040
Speaker 3: childbirth for a transman can be incredibly stressful and dysphoric,

1356
01:05:32,200 --> 01:05:35,560
Speaker 3: not to mention everything else that can go wrong. Opie says, yeah,

1357
01:05:35,600 --> 01:05:39,000
Speaker 3: his partner was really worried about how his previous HRT

1358
01:05:39,160 --> 01:05:41,440
Speaker 3: would affect the pregnancy and baby, and.

1359
01:05:41,440 --> 01:05:43,240
Speaker 4: His dysphorio is pretty bad.

1360
01:05:43,360 --> 01:05:46,000
Speaker 3: The doctor said that the HRT shouldn't affect it, but

1361
01:05:46,080 --> 01:05:48,360
Speaker 3: you know how pregnant people are for worrying about stuff

1362
01:05:48,400 --> 01:05:50,440
Speaker 3: like that. Common four says he chose to go on

1363
01:05:50,480 --> 01:05:53,920
Speaker 3: a vacation knowing the risks, so he did choose to

1364
01:05:54,000 --> 01:05:56,960
Speaker 3: miss the birth of his child. I'm so sorry his

1365
01:05:56,960 --> 01:05:59,560
Speaker 3: partner had to go through this alone. I hope he

1366
01:05:59,600 --> 01:06:02,200
Speaker 3: had family there to support him. Obi says he did.

1367
01:06:02,320 --> 01:06:04,800
Speaker 3: Rest assured my wife and I, her parents and his

1368
01:06:04,840 --> 01:06:07,000
Speaker 3: parents too. I'd almost forgotten what it felt like to

1369
01:06:07,040 --> 01:06:09,600
Speaker 3: have your fingers crushed by someone in labor too. Ohpi

1370
01:06:09,760 --> 01:06:13,200
Speaker 3: clarifies on if Dan is his wife's brother and how

1371
01:06:13,240 --> 01:06:14,919
Speaker 3: she told them to be with Dan at the time

1372
01:06:14,960 --> 01:06:17,800
Speaker 3: of the accident. Obi says, yeah, Dan is her brother.

1373
01:06:17,920 --> 01:06:19,720
Speaker 3: He wanted me to stay with him because there was

1374
01:06:19,760 --> 01:06:22,040
Speaker 3: a decent possibility we could have lost him, and she

1375
01:06:22,120 --> 01:06:24,640
Speaker 3: wanted someone to be with him justin case. Just a

1376
01:06:24,640 --> 01:06:28,280
Speaker 3: little different to going on a lad's holiday in my opinion.

1377
01:06:28,320 --> 01:06:31,160
Speaker 3: How did Brad feel about Josh going on holiday? Obie says,

1378
01:06:31,200 --> 01:06:34,160
Speaker 3: pissed off and upset with Josh. He was really upset

1379
01:06:34,160 --> 01:06:36,760
Speaker 3: when he realized Josh couldn't come back in time. Omitter

1380
01:06:36,880 --> 01:06:40,080
Speaker 3: five says there are so many increased risks for complications

1381
01:06:40,120 --> 01:06:43,800
Speaker 3: and trans mail berths. I'm surprised the obiguyn didn't bash

1382
01:06:43,840 --> 01:06:46,960
Speaker 3: your brother in law over the head anytime after month seven.

1383
01:06:47,240 --> 01:06:49,800
Speaker 3: His butt should have stayed at home. Where did he

1384
01:06:49,880 --> 01:06:53,200
Speaker 3: go that was so dang important? Opie says, Lad's strip

1385
01:06:53,320 --> 01:06:56,200
Speaker 3: to Scotland? You know something clearly more important than his

1386
01:06:56,400 --> 01:06:59,800
Speaker 3: pregnant partner. I'm not sure on the VIDIC restrictions in Scotland.

1387
01:06:59,840 --> 01:07:03,760
Speaker 3: On update, says well, I wasn't expecting the response on

1388
01:07:03,800 --> 01:07:05,800
Speaker 3: my last post. I thought some of you might like

1389
01:07:05,840 --> 01:07:09,160
Speaker 3: an update, and a couple of people on Twitter requested it.

1390
01:07:09,160 --> 01:07:12,840
Speaker 3: It's a happy ending. Whoooooo, you'll be glad to hear.

1391
01:07:13,000 --> 01:07:15,760
Speaker 3: I did send Josh this post and he admitted that

1392
01:07:15,920 --> 01:07:18,560
Speaker 3: heifed up. Brad has reported to me that Josh is

1393
01:07:18,720 --> 01:07:22,280
Speaker 3: well and truly repented. Their baby girls now four weeks old,

1394
01:07:22,360 --> 01:07:24,240
Speaker 3: and Josh has been on night duty since she was

1395
01:07:24,240 --> 01:07:26,760
Speaker 3: a week old. He apologized to Brad for not being

1396
01:07:26,800 --> 01:07:29,440
Speaker 3: there for him and me for dragging me into it.

1397
01:07:29,560 --> 01:07:33,000
Speaker 3: Both of us forgave him and it seems everything will

1398
01:07:33,040 --> 01:07:36,240
Speaker 3: be okay. Their daughter is a happy, healthy little girl,

1399
01:07:36,240 --> 01:07:38,400
Speaker 3: and a very vocal one at that. He's apparently a

1400
01:07:38,400 --> 01:07:40,680
Speaker 3: big fan of yelling at her dads and not sleeping,

1401
01:07:40,760 --> 01:07:43,960
Speaker 3: so Josh is certainly receiving his karma. Unfortunately, she's yet

1402
01:07:43,960 --> 01:07:46,120
Speaker 3: to meet her cousins and most of the family thanks

1403
01:07:46,160 --> 01:07:48,880
Speaker 3: to the VID but we've received plenty of video calls

1404
01:07:48,920 --> 01:07:51,240
Speaker 3: and photos. There is a little bit left to this story,

1405
01:07:51,280 --> 01:07:52,440
Speaker 3: but do you have any final thoughts?

1406
01:07:52,480 --> 01:07:54,760
Speaker 5: They made a choice forgive and forget, forget, I guess

1407
01:07:54,840 --> 01:07:57,240
Speaker 5: not forget forgive and be like, hey, remember when you

1408
01:07:57,240 --> 01:07:57,800
Speaker 5: did that thing.

1409
01:07:58,040 --> 01:08:00,640
Speaker 4: You're on night duty again, you are on night duty.

1410
01:08:00,760 --> 01:08:01,600
Speaker 4: Let me tell you know.

1411
01:08:02,240 --> 01:08:05,400
Speaker 5: I wouldn't necessarily say it's like a complete breakup situation,

1412
01:08:06,120 --> 01:08:09,200
Speaker 5: but it certainly is like a conversation. Don't ever do

1413
01:08:09,240 --> 01:08:10,400
Speaker 5: nothing like that to me ever?

1414
01:08:10,520 --> 01:08:10,880
Speaker 2: Again.

1415
01:08:10,920 --> 01:08:13,240
Speaker 4: Absolutely, I think that's like a one strike.

1416
01:08:13,480 --> 01:08:16,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean truly, just I don't know how you

1417
01:08:16,320 --> 01:08:19,360
Speaker 3: think that that's okay, it's just truly a lack of

1418
01:08:19,520 --> 01:08:22,760
Speaker 3: thoughts or is this just oh I don't care, that's

1419
01:08:22,760 --> 01:08:23,799
Speaker 3: what I would be wondering.

1420
01:08:23,880 --> 01:08:26,519
Speaker 5: I think we would truly need more like info on

1421
01:08:26,640 --> 01:08:28,920
Speaker 5: like there, because we didn't really get into too much

1422
01:08:29,000 --> 01:08:31,640
Speaker 5: of like how they actually are, like their personalities.

1423
01:08:31,800 --> 01:08:33,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, and maybe this is the only thing that has

1424
01:08:33,840 --> 01:08:35,759
Speaker 3: ever happened that's been you know, bad.

1425
01:08:36,040 --> 01:08:39,439
Speaker 5: There was some other reason why Dad got scared.

1426
01:08:39,680 --> 01:08:41,559
Speaker 3: He was like, I'm about to become a dad. I

1427
01:08:41,600 --> 01:08:44,519
Speaker 3: gotta go in the lad's trip. No one last.

1428
01:08:44,320 --> 01:08:46,800
Speaker 5: Time someone on the lads trip where they may be

1429
01:08:47,000 --> 01:08:50,200
Speaker 5: sick or something, and like they don't want anyone to

1430
01:08:50,240 --> 01:08:51,479
Speaker 5: know the.

1431
01:08:51,520 --> 01:08:54,080
Speaker 3: Lad's trip can't be complete without all six of.

1432
01:08:54,080 --> 01:08:57,439
Speaker 5: Us, So this is a entire hypothetical, But like, just imagine,

1433
01:08:57,439 --> 01:08:59,320
Speaker 5: like you're on this lad trip Scotland. One of them

1434
01:08:59,320 --> 01:09:01,519
Speaker 5: has cancer, doesn't want to tell anybody. Now you're in

1435
01:09:01,560 --> 01:09:03,120
Speaker 5: a horrd rock and a hard place because you can't.

1436
01:09:03,160 --> 01:09:05,160
Speaker 5: You're like, why either betray the trust of the friend

1437
01:09:05,160 --> 01:09:07,320
Speaker 5: who doesn't want anyone to know about his diagnosis, or

1438
01:09:07,479 --> 01:09:09,840
Speaker 5: I betray my partner who's yeah giving bird. But maybe

1439
01:09:09,880 --> 01:09:11,639
Speaker 5: I can make it back for both. I can do both.

1440
01:09:11,680 --> 01:09:14,280
Speaker 5: This is an entire hypothetical I have just cooked up

1441
01:09:14,280 --> 01:09:16,519
Speaker 5: in my brain. But it's like, maybe the world isn't

1442
01:09:16,520 --> 01:09:19,000
Speaker 5: black and white. There's good the most Almost everything in

1443
01:09:19,000 --> 01:09:20,040
Speaker 5: the world is in a gray zone.

1444
01:09:20,080 --> 01:09:21,880
Speaker 3: But folks, there's a little bit left to this story.

1445
01:09:21,920 --> 01:09:24,880
Speaker 3: Brad also saw the post and thanked everyone for their

1446
01:09:24,920 --> 01:09:28,320
Speaker 3: congratulations and support. He's recovering well at home and he's

1447
01:09:28,360 --> 01:09:31,360
Speaker 3: almost ready to start binding again, as well as slowly

1448
01:09:31,439 --> 01:09:34,360
Speaker 3: returning to taking HRT. I'm sure some of you will

1449
01:09:34,400 --> 01:09:36,680
Speaker 3: be disappointed to hear that Josh has been forgiven, but

1450
01:09:36,760 --> 01:09:39,320
Speaker 3: that's just the way it goes. My niece will grow

1451
01:09:39,400 --> 01:09:41,720
Speaker 3: up in a happy family with two dads who love

1452
01:09:41,760 --> 01:09:44,639
Speaker 3: her and hopefully Josh will never be so dumb again.

1453
01:09:44,760 --> 01:09:48,120
Speaker 3: Relevant comments, so, he says, clarifying on the meanings of

1454
01:09:48,120 --> 01:09:51,040
Speaker 3: binding an HRT binding is the practice of flattening down

1455
01:09:51,040 --> 01:09:53,080
Speaker 3: the front airbracks with a special type of vest to

1456
01:09:53,120 --> 01:09:56,400
Speaker 3: make them a pure non existent HRT. Hormone replacement therapy

1457
01:09:56,520 --> 01:10:00,120
Speaker 3: is injecting oneself with testosterone for transmen to give the

1458
01:10:00,240 --> 01:10:03,479
Speaker 3: more masculine features, or estrogen for trans women to give

1459
01:10:03,479 --> 01:10:06,120
Speaker 3: them more feminine features. Hope this helps Opie on his

1460
01:10:06,200 --> 01:10:09,480
Speaker 3: new niece's health progress after her premature birth.

1461
01:10:09,320 --> 01:10:10,160
Speaker 4: During the pandemic.

1462
01:10:10,240 --> 01:10:12,559
Speaker 3: Opie says she was able to go home after one

1463
01:10:12,560 --> 01:10:15,400
Speaker 3: point five weeks due to the VID infection risks in

1464
01:10:15,439 --> 01:10:18,080
Speaker 3: the NICU ward as she was able to support her

1465
01:10:18,120 --> 01:10:21,360
Speaker 3: own breathing. I'm obviously not a doctor, but they made

1466
01:10:21,360 --> 01:10:23,680
Speaker 3: the call to send her home so she wasn't at

1467
01:10:23,760 --> 01:10:26,960
Speaker 3: risk of exposure. It's probably not normal protocol, but these

1468
01:10:27,000 --> 01:10:30,200
Speaker 3: are not normal times, my friend. I'm honestly not sure

1469
01:10:30,320 --> 01:10:32,360
Speaker 3: if it was the nick you, as I've never had

1470
01:10:32,400 --> 01:10:35,240
Speaker 3: to experience a PREMEI baby myself. Both of mine were

1471
01:10:35,280 --> 01:10:37,680
Speaker 3: full term, and I did mention many times in my

1472
01:10:37,800 --> 01:10:40,479
Speaker 3: last post that she's a fat little thing. My wife's

1473
01:10:40,479 --> 01:10:43,160
Speaker 3: family does have a history of heavy babies. Again, I'm

1474
01:10:43,280 --> 01:10:45,360
Speaker 3: just the uncle, so I don't know every single in

1475
01:10:45,439 --> 01:10:48,600
Speaker 3: and out of her case. Ah I know specifically is

1476
01:10:48,600 --> 01:10:51,160
Speaker 3: that I was told she was sent home after one

1477
01:10:51,160 --> 01:10:53,519
Speaker 3: point five weeks to prevent the risk of catching the

1478
01:10:53,600 --> 01:10:55,879
Speaker 3: VID and they were told to isolate. What did Opie

1479
01:10:55,880 --> 01:10:58,599
Speaker 3: do to get Josh to take his responsibility and make

1480
01:10:58,640 --> 01:11:00,840
Speaker 3: it right with Brad? Opie says, it was actually my

1481
01:11:00,920 --> 01:11:03,320
Speaker 3: suggestion for him to volunteer for night duty as a

1482
01:11:03,400 --> 01:11:06,280
Speaker 3: means of an apology. No, I Sopie, I'll never understand

1483
01:11:06,320 --> 01:11:09,760
Speaker 3: fathers who don't share their parental responsibilities equally. I have

1484
01:11:09,840 --> 01:11:12,240
Speaker 3: children if you don't want to care for them. By

1485
01:11:12,280 --> 01:11:13,800
Speaker 3: the way, thank you so much for the award.

1486
01:11:13,840 --> 01:11:14,280
Speaker 5: I'm grateful.

1487
01:11:14,360 --> 01:11:16,599
Speaker 3: Opi on his history with his wife's family and how

1488
01:11:16,640 --> 01:11:19,479
Speaker 3: healthy the relationships are. Opie says, I do love that

1489
01:11:19,560 --> 01:11:22,479
Speaker 3: about my wife's family. I've been a de facto member

1490
01:11:22,680 --> 01:11:25,160
Speaker 3: since I was eleven when I met Dan, her brother,

1491
01:11:25,320 --> 01:11:28,040
Speaker 3: and started dating my wife at thirteen, so I still

1492
01:11:28,200 --> 01:11:32,639
Speaker 3: really respect the amount of accountability and conflict resolution they

1493
01:11:32,680 --> 01:11:35,360
Speaker 3: go through as a family unit. We claim responsibility for

1494
01:11:35,439 --> 01:11:38,040
Speaker 3: our idiots, and we love them. Opie says her parents

1495
01:11:38,080 --> 01:11:39,760
Speaker 3: are now at the point where they say they have

1496
01:11:39,840 --> 01:11:43,000
Speaker 3: five kids. They're actual children, my wife, Dan, and Josh

1497
01:11:43,040 --> 01:11:45,479
Speaker 3: and then you, Brad. Most of my friends think it's

1498
01:11:45,520 --> 01:11:48,200
Speaker 3: odd that my core friendship circle consists of my wife,

1499
01:11:48,280 --> 01:11:50,639
Speaker 3: her two brothers, and one brother's partner. But it really

1500
01:11:50,680 --> 01:11:53,880
Speaker 3: just makes spending Christmas together really freaking easy. Sometimes just

1501
01:11:53,960 --> 01:11:56,800
Speaker 3: find the people you like, man, And sometimes it's your

1502
01:11:56,840 --> 01:11:57,679
Speaker 3: wife's brothers.

1503
01:11:57,800 --> 01:12:01,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, wh who's got problems with that? What I'm talking about?

1504
01:12:01,360 --> 01:12:04,800
Speaker 3: Yes, Opie shared a surprise. Obie says, Oh, there's no

1505
01:12:04,880 --> 01:12:07,040
Speaker 3: doubt about it. If you can keep a secret. And

1506
01:12:07,120 --> 01:12:11,080
Speaker 3: because I'm absolutely passing away to toss someone, my wife

1507
01:12:11,120 --> 01:12:14,880
Speaker 3: is actually two months pregnant with baby number three. Tell

1508
01:12:15,160 --> 01:12:17,880
Speaker 3: Dan to stay in the car. I can already sense

1509
01:12:17,880 --> 01:12:21,040
Speaker 3: how close they'll be with the Editor's note, Josh and

1510
01:12:21,120 --> 01:12:23,000
Speaker 3: Brad's baby. That's so sweet, man,