1 00:00:15,210 --> 00:00:22,610 Speaker 1: Pushkin horrible timing six kids in my house, two parents 2 00:00:22,810 --> 00:00:25,650 Speaker 1: and getting kids ready for Halloween. Jonathan Goldstein calling for 3 00:00:25,730 --> 00:00:26,810 Speaker 1: doctor Jackie Cohen. 4 00:00:28,290 --> 00:00:28,770 Speaker 2: I gotta go. 5 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:32,489 Speaker 1: Wait wait, wait, hello Jackie. 6 00:00:33,010 --> 00:00:33,409 Speaker 3: Do you know what? 7 00:00:33,730 --> 00:00:38,890 Speaker 1: Okay, you're a doctor, right, hurry up. I'm starting to realize, 8 00:00:38,930 --> 00:00:45,009 Speaker 1: like in the past year, I'm I'm hurry. I'm pretty convinced. Hi, 9 00:00:45,330 --> 00:00:51,930 Speaker 1: I'm losing hair. You're bald, balding, bald. It's a process, 10 00:00:52,170 --> 00:00:54,530 Speaker 1: so bald. Now I'm trying to figure out if it's 11 00:00:54,530 --> 00:00:57,609 Speaker 1: a symptom of something to go, John, I got to go. 12 00:00:58,090 --> 00:01:00,530 Speaker 1: The party starts in fifteen minutes. You're having a party 13 00:01:00,530 --> 00:01:11,170 Speaker 1: at your house. Why didn't you invite me over? Do 14 00:01:11,250 --> 00:01:21,970 Speaker 1: you want to just do the show? Or from Gimblet Media. 15 00:01:22,170 --> 00:01:36,210 Speaker 1: I'm Jonathan Goldstein and this is Heavyweight Today's episode. James. 16 00:01:38,810 --> 00:01:41,810 Speaker 1: When he was a kid, James loved taking long walks 17 00:01:41,850 --> 00:01:45,490 Speaker 1: with his dad, Douglas. Douglas was a film buff, and 18 00:01:45,570 --> 00:01:48,570 Speaker 1: during these walks, he'd recount the plot to every movie 19 00:01:48,610 --> 00:01:53,130 Speaker 1: he'd ever seen. Hitchcock Kubrick. James loved it, and when 20 00:01:53,170 --> 00:01:55,650 Speaker 1: he grew older and finally got to see the actual 21 00:01:55,690 --> 00:01:59,050 Speaker 1: movies as good as they were, They often paled beside 22 00:01:59,090 --> 00:02:02,690 Speaker 1: the versions his dad told something of a dreamer and 23 00:02:02,770 --> 00:02:06,010 Speaker 1: an eccentric. Douglas lived his life as though he himself 24 00:02:06,010 --> 00:02:09,730 Speaker 1: were a character in a movie. He died that way too. 25 00:02:09,970 --> 00:02:13,970 Speaker 1: On his deathbed, he issued an unexpected final request. 26 00:02:14,250 --> 00:02:19,330 Speaker 4: The request was that we scatter his ashes on the 27 00:02:19,490 --> 00:02:23,690 Speaker 4: eighteenth hole of the golf course he loved. 28 00:02:29,170 --> 00:02:32,370 Speaker 1: Each of Douglas's kids was handed a different task regarding 29 00:02:32,370 --> 00:02:35,370 Speaker 1: the estate. James was put in charge of the ashes. 30 00:02:36,170 --> 00:02:38,850 Speaker 4: My dad was probably the most important person to me 31 00:02:39,650 --> 00:02:44,889 Speaker 4: outside obviously my wife and kids. When he died and 32 00:02:45,930 --> 00:02:48,330 Speaker 4: when the will was recorded, I wasn't there. You were 33 00:02:48,370 --> 00:02:49,049 Speaker 4: actually there. 34 00:02:49,090 --> 00:02:53,290 Speaker 1: I think I was there. Douglas was nearing the end 35 00:02:53,530 --> 00:02:56,490 Speaker 1: and urgently needed to sign his will, and James, who 36 00:02:56,530 --> 00:02:59,370 Speaker 1: lived out of town, couldn't make it in time, so 37 00:02:59,410 --> 00:03:02,050 Speaker 1: he asked me and our other good friend Howard, to 38 00:03:02,090 --> 00:03:04,770 Speaker 1: go to his father's bedside and bear legal witness to 39 00:03:04,850 --> 00:03:08,370 Speaker 1: the signing of the will. To this day, James still 40 00:03:08,370 --> 00:03:10,850 Speaker 1: carries around a lot of regret about not being able 41 00:03:10,850 --> 00:03:18,410 Speaker 1: to be there, Although I know it's unlikely. My memory 42 00:03:18,410 --> 00:03:21,210 Speaker 1: of that day is of Douglas wearing an ascot tucked 43 00:03:21,210 --> 00:03:24,650 Speaker 1: into his hospital robe, regardless of whether he actually was. 44 00:03:25,290 --> 00:03:27,570 Speaker 1: Douglas was the kind of man who always gave the 45 00:03:27,610 --> 00:03:31,649 Speaker 1: impression of wearing an ascot. As always he was gentlemanly 46 00:03:31,770 --> 00:03:35,170 Speaker 1: and cordial, this in spite of the fact that he 47 00:03:35,210 --> 00:03:46,170 Speaker 1: would pass away within the next forty eight hours. Douglas 48 00:03:46,210 --> 00:03:48,610 Speaker 1: was born an illegitimate child in a poor part of 49 00:03:48,650 --> 00:03:52,210 Speaker 1: England and raised by a single mom. As a young man, 50 00:03:52,370 --> 00:03:55,250 Speaker 1: he felt judged and carried with him the feeling of 51 00:03:55,290 --> 00:03:58,330 Speaker 1: always having to prove himself, even going so far as 52 00:03:58,370 --> 00:04:02,810 Speaker 1: to effect a posh, upper class accent. For Douglas, golf 53 00:04:02,890 --> 00:04:06,010 Speaker 1: was the domain of the wealthy and sophisticated, and having 54 00:04:06,090 --> 00:04:08,810 Speaker 1: his ashes placed on the eighteenth hole of his beloved 55 00:04:08,810 --> 00:04:12,250 Speaker 1: golf course, an event that James says he probably envisioned 56 00:04:12,290 --> 00:04:16,490 Speaker 1: being accompanied by bagpipes and artillery, would mean finally receiving 57 00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:20,450 Speaker 1: his due. But James has yet to honor his father's request. 58 00:04:20,930 --> 00:04:25,409 Speaker 1: It's now been sixteen years. Is it just procrastination? 59 00:04:26,969 --> 00:04:30,250 Speaker 4: That's what I told myself. Yeah, I can vividly remember, 60 00:04:30,929 --> 00:04:34,810 Speaker 4: you know, a day afterwards, thinking oh, yeah, the simplest thing. 61 00:04:34,810 --> 00:04:37,210 Speaker 4: In fact, it seems so simple that we'll get to it. 62 00:04:37,489 --> 00:04:44,489 Speaker 4: And now sixteen years later. It's very complicated, I think, 63 00:04:44,729 --> 00:04:47,009 Speaker 4: to be honest with you, there's part of me that 64 00:04:47,049 --> 00:04:49,689 Speaker 4: wants to hold on to them because it's. 65 00:04:51,169 --> 00:04:59,169 Speaker 1: My dad. And so the earn moved from mantles to 66 00:04:59,210 --> 00:05:02,289 Speaker 1: closets for a long time. It even knocked around in 67 00:05:02,330 --> 00:05:05,210 Speaker 1: the trunk of James's car. It now sits on a 68 00:05:05,250 --> 00:05:11,809 Speaker 1: shelf in his basement. Do you think it would be uh, 69 00:05:11,969 --> 00:05:13,809 Speaker 1: would it be a load off your head if you 70 00:05:13,849 --> 00:05:15,609 Speaker 1: were able to spread the ashes? 71 00:05:17,289 --> 00:05:21,129 Speaker 4: The amount of times I cried, you know, going on 72 00:05:21,169 --> 00:05:23,890 Speaker 4: about how what a terrible son I was to not 73 00:05:24,089 --> 00:05:27,609 Speaker 4: honor his request, and the guilt I have about the 74 00:05:27,609 --> 00:05:29,930 Speaker 4: way he died, and you know I didn't deal with 75 00:05:29,969 --> 00:05:38,810 Speaker 4: it well, and it's all a piece he as he 76 00:05:38,929 --> 00:05:41,690 Speaker 4: got sicker and sticker. He wanted to go home desperately, 77 00:05:42,250 --> 00:05:47,609 Speaker 4: and myself and my siblings decided he could not go 78 00:05:47,690 --> 00:05:49,409 Speaker 4: home because he was a hoarder. 79 00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:53,210 Speaker 1: Though it wasn't clear that he ever used them. Douglas 80 00:05:53,210 --> 00:05:57,009 Speaker 1: had an entire room filled solely with golf clubs, having 81 00:05:57,089 --> 00:06:00,409 Speaker 1: lived through the war. He also saved empty TV dinner trays, 82 00:06:00,609 --> 00:06:03,849 Speaker 1: old microwaves, and broken radios that he'd find on the street. 83 00:06:04,570 --> 00:06:08,489 Speaker 4: We decided he could not go back there, and he 84 00:06:08,609 --> 00:06:11,050 Speaker 4: was so upset about that, and he went out just. 85 00:06:12,529 --> 00:06:14,289 Speaker 1: Really angry. 86 00:06:14,369 --> 00:06:18,210 Speaker 4: He just wanted to go home. I can't fix the 87 00:06:18,210 --> 00:06:22,210 Speaker 4: way he died, but this was his one request and 88 00:06:22,250 --> 00:06:26,650 Speaker 4: I haven't honored it. And not only would I be 89 00:06:27,729 --> 00:06:32,010 Speaker 4: putting to bed something that's been just dogging me for years, 90 00:06:32,169 --> 00:06:34,330 Speaker 4: I think I'd also feel pretty proud of myself that 91 00:06:35,289 --> 00:06:37,290 Speaker 4: I'm the person I want to be. 92 00:06:38,369 --> 00:06:40,609 Speaker 1: Since the person I want to be is the person 93 00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:42,730 Speaker 1: who helps people be the people they want to be. 94 00:06:43,210 --> 00:06:45,130 Speaker 1: I asked James if he'd like me to help him 95 00:06:45,169 --> 00:06:49,210 Speaker 1: lay his father's ashes to rest, and James said, yes, 96 00:06:49,529 --> 00:06:50,449 Speaker 1: would you want to do that? 97 00:06:50,770 --> 00:06:51,610 Speaker 4: Yeah, of course I do. 98 00:06:56,089 --> 00:07:00,130 Speaker 1: The objective infiltrate Douglas's fancy old golf course and scatter 99 00:07:00,210 --> 00:07:05,129 Speaker 1: the ashes the obstacles except the genarian narcs with prying eyes, 100 00:07:05,729 --> 00:07:08,569 Speaker 1: not to mention the fact that scattering earthly remains is 101 00:07:08,570 --> 00:07:12,369 Speaker 1: against the law. For this to work, we need the 102 00:07:12,450 --> 00:07:15,769 Speaker 1: right team. James was the key man, our entry point 103 00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:19,090 Speaker 1: into the operation, and I was the bank bank rolling 104 00:07:19,170 --> 00:07:22,410 Speaker 1: the green for expenditures. All that was missing was a 105 00:07:22,450 --> 00:07:25,890 Speaker 1: front man. We needed a person of quick wit back 106 00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:33,010 Speaker 1: bat cat, sat fat, someone cool under pressure. We needed 107 00:07:33,810 --> 00:07:39,690 Speaker 1: that's arm here. Howard. Not only was Howard our oldest friend, 108 00:07:39,970 --> 00:07:41,730 Speaker 1: but he was there with me the day the will 109 00:07:41,810 --> 00:07:44,970 Speaker 1: was signed and the directive was given. And to top 110 00:07:45,010 --> 00:07:48,330 Speaker 1: it off, Howard never met a grift, swindle or flim flam. 111 00:07:48,330 --> 00:07:51,330 Speaker 1: He didn't think was eggs and the coffee. Okay, fill 112 00:07:51,369 --> 00:07:54,290 Speaker 1: your pockets with extra after dinner mints at the local diner. 113 00:07:54,890 --> 00:07:59,009 Speaker 1: Check avail yourself. Avill gained coffee refills through a counterfeit 114 00:07:59,090 --> 00:08:03,569 Speaker 1: Russian Seniors card double check. Howard was always on the 115 00:08:03,610 --> 00:08:11,290 Speaker 1: make and up for anything. The date had been set Sunday, 116 00:08:11,810 --> 00:08:15,249 Speaker 1: which also, as it happens, was Father's Day. The team 117 00:08:15,369 --> 00:08:18,530 Speaker 1: was in place. We just needed to sort out logistics. 118 00:08:20,010 --> 00:08:27,330 Speaker 1: Thursday eight forty eight pm. Howard, Hey, Hi, Hi, Hi, Hello, Hey, 119 00:08:27,650 --> 00:08:28,970 Speaker 1: I'm on the phone with James. 120 00:08:29,130 --> 00:08:29,330 Speaker 4: Hi. 121 00:08:31,170 --> 00:08:33,809 Speaker 1: I just wanted to get us all together to strategize 122 00:08:33,850 --> 00:08:37,490 Speaker 1: a little bit. So, Howard, is there any wisdom or 123 00:08:37,530 --> 00:08:40,450 Speaker 1: experience that you could bring to bear from you know, 124 00:08:40,810 --> 00:08:42,370 Speaker 1: past things that you've done like this. 125 00:08:42,610 --> 00:08:46,170 Speaker 2: From my previous heist experience. Yeah, well we shouldn't do 126 00:08:46,210 --> 00:08:49,770 Speaker 2: as we get too high. Yeah, in one some booze 127 00:08:49,770 --> 00:08:51,570 Speaker 2: maybe might help steal our nerves. 128 00:08:52,090 --> 00:08:55,610 Speaker 1: So do you want to try to go there and 129 00:08:55,970 --> 00:08:56,770 Speaker 1: play golf? 130 00:08:58,250 --> 00:08:59,370 Speaker 2: No, I've never golfed. 131 00:08:59,850 --> 00:09:01,930 Speaker 3: I don't know how to golf, so I've never golfed either. 132 00:09:01,970 --> 00:09:04,890 Speaker 3: And it's the eighteenth hole too, so I wish it 133 00:09:04,930 --> 00:09:06,570 Speaker 3: was the first hole because we could just go and 134 00:09:06,650 --> 00:09:08,850 Speaker 3: suck and then do our thing. 135 00:09:09,170 --> 00:09:10,890 Speaker 2: Yeah, it simply needs the eighteenth hole. 136 00:09:10,970 --> 00:09:13,130 Speaker 3: Right, eighteenth hole, it's a last hole. 137 00:09:13,490 --> 00:09:16,130 Speaker 2: But if there's someone there watching us, how we how 138 00:09:16,170 --> 00:09:16,770 Speaker 2: do we do it? 139 00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:20,770 Speaker 3: The clubhouse is near the eighteenth hole. It looks over 140 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,530 Speaker 3: at eighteenth sole, so that's another challenge. 141 00:09:23,050 --> 00:09:24,010 Speaker 2: What the clubhouse? 142 00:09:24,970 --> 00:09:35,050 Speaker 1: Clearly there was a lot of work to be done. 143 00:09:35,250 --> 00:09:39,090 Speaker 1: Nine pm. A quick look at the golf course website 144 00:09:39,170 --> 00:09:43,850 Speaker 1: reveals a very specific dress code polo shirts, belts, golf shoes, 145 00:09:44,090 --> 00:09:47,650 Speaker 1: something called a tilly hat. If wearing a polo shirt 146 00:09:47,770 --> 00:09:51,210 Speaker 1: with some kind of bonnet wasn't embarrassing enough, the rules 147 00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:54,850 Speaker 1: explicitly stated that all shirts were to be tucked in 148 00:09:54,890 --> 00:09:58,050 Speaker 1: to your pants. For this to work, we need to 149 00:09:58,090 --> 00:10:01,370 Speaker 1: honor the dress code to a t. In short, we 150 00:10:01,530 --> 00:10:05,290 Speaker 1: need the best disguises money could buy. And as the bank, 151 00:10:05,530 --> 00:10:09,570 Speaker 1: it was my job to secure the Greenbacks a brief 152 00:10:09,570 --> 00:10:13,570 Speaker 1: parlay with Gimblet founder and CEO Alex Bloomberg. I'm told 153 00:10:13,610 --> 00:10:16,690 Speaker 1: my budget is fifty dollars, to which I say, but 154 00:10:16,770 --> 00:10:19,170 Speaker 1: I've already promised the crew I take them shopping at 155 00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:21,450 Speaker 1: j C. Penny and now I'll look like an idiot, 156 00:10:21,690 --> 00:10:25,290 Speaker 1: to which he says what crew, and I say never mind. 157 00:10:25,850 --> 00:10:27,930 Speaker 1: Alex then tells me to take it up with Matt 158 00:10:27,970 --> 00:10:30,050 Speaker 1: because he's in the middle of a boardroom meeting. But 159 00:10:30,090 --> 00:10:32,250 Speaker 1: Matt scares me, so I just convert the green to 160 00:10:32,290 --> 00:10:35,810 Speaker 1: Canadian travelers checks, a safe, responsible move. So Alex, if 161 00:10:35,810 --> 00:10:37,970 Speaker 1: you're listening, you should at least cover the service fees. 162 00:10:38,330 --> 00:10:40,850 Speaker 1: Except you probably aren't listening because you're too busy with 163 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:47,330 Speaker 1: your precious startup. So although it probably wasn't the kind 164 00:10:47,330 --> 00:10:51,370 Speaker 1: of establishment James's Poshdad Douglas would approve of, we'd need 165 00:10:51,370 --> 00:10:54,410 Speaker 1: to hit the only place we could afford. Please after you, 166 00:10:55,410 --> 00:11:00,570 Speaker 1: all right, Friday, twelve thirty six pm. It turns out 167 00:11:00,570 --> 00:11:03,050 Speaker 1: the sports section of a goodwill can be a pretty 168 00:11:03,090 --> 00:11:07,970 Speaker 1: sad place. Unstrung badminton rackets, water logged nerf footballs you 169 00:11:08,050 --> 00:11:09,809 Speaker 1: only hope are logged on water. 170 00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:11,770 Speaker 2: And one boxing glove. 171 00:11:11,810 --> 00:11:12,490 Speaker 4: That's that's the. 172 00:11:13,410 --> 00:11:16,050 Speaker 1: As an advanced student of the heist film as genre, 173 00:11:16,530 --> 00:11:18,850 Speaker 1: I know that when pulling off a big job, the 174 00:11:18,890 --> 00:11:23,410 Speaker 1: perfect outfit is crucial. Think Michael Kine's lux white turtleneck 175 00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:28,130 Speaker 1: in The Italian Job or Elliott Gould's neckerchief in Ocean's Eleven. 176 00:11:29,410 --> 00:11:32,090 Speaker 4: They have some very nice slacks here, I will say, 177 00:11:32,130 --> 00:11:33,970 Speaker 4: and the prices are very affordable. 178 00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:36,650 Speaker 1: You want to try on the polo shirts, not exactly 179 00:11:36,690 --> 00:11:40,010 Speaker 1: Frankie Munez is wrap around shades and agent Cody Banks, 180 00:11:40,370 --> 00:11:41,250 Speaker 1: but it'll have to do. 181 00:11:41,730 --> 00:11:42,330 Speaker 2: Look at these two. 182 00:11:43,850 --> 00:11:48,610 Speaker 1: Ooh, it's like rayon. The good news is that the 183 00:11:48,610 --> 00:11:52,370 Speaker 1: Goodwill has changing rooms. The bad news is that there's 184 00:11:52,370 --> 00:11:54,930 Speaker 1: only one, and it's about the size of a bus 185 00:11:54,930 --> 00:11:57,090 Speaker 1: station toilet stall. I'm going to come in with you, 186 00:11:57,170 --> 00:12:00,330 Speaker 1: but since we are a a team and be absolutely 187 00:12:00,370 --> 00:12:03,970 Speaker 1: fearless together, we cram in and like any team would 188 00:12:04,650 --> 00:12:06,690 Speaker 1: strip completely naked. 189 00:12:07,410 --> 00:12:09,370 Speaker 2: That might be the I. 190 00:12:11,010 --> 00:12:13,570 Speaker 1: It bears, mentioning that the shirt Howard is referring to 191 00:12:14,130 --> 00:12:18,050 Speaker 1: is creamsicle orange and bears the logo of a plumbing company, 192 00:12:18,850 --> 00:12:22,810 Speaker 1: and luckiest of lucky days, he's found the exact same 193 00:12:22,890 --> 00:12:26,490 Speaker 1: shirts for me. And James this way. He reasons, we 194 00:12:26,490 --> 00:12:28,690 Speaker 1: can all match like a crew. 195 00:12:30,770 --> 00:12:31,530 Speaker 2: It's supposed to look good. 196 00:12:31,530 --> 00:12:34,290 Speaker 5: It's golfing. 197 00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:38,690 Speaker 1: Oh man, Howard, James and I have known each other 198 00:12:38,730 --> 00:12:41,690 Speaker 1: since we're teenagers. Back then we used to hang out 199 00:12:41,730 --> 00:12:45,170 Speaker 1: like this all the time, just doing goofy stuff. But 200 00:12:45,210 --> 00:12:48,610 Speaker 1: we now live in separate cities with wives, kids, jobs, 201 00:12:48,970 --> 00:12:50,930 Speaker 1: and we never get to do this kind of thing anymore. 202 00:12:51,650 --> 00:12:54,330 Speaker 1: Standing around in the middle of the afternoon, laughing in 203 00:12:54,410 --> 00:13:03,290 Speaker 1: the buff with old friends feels nice. So this is good. 204 00:13:03,330 --> 00:13:06,730 Speaker 4: We got We've got shirts, and I got a belt. 205 00:13:07,010 --> 00:13:10,130 Speaker 1: As we exit into the parking lot are plastic sacks 206 00:13:10,210 --> 00:13:13,970 Speaker 1: plump with glad rags. Something straight up magical happens. 207 00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:14,930 Speaker 3: Oh my god. 208 00:13:15,330 --> 00:13:18,050 Speaker 1: Before getting too excited about what we think we might 209 00:13:18,090 --> 00:13:22,090 Speaker 1: be seeing, possibly, we wait confirmation from the man who 210 00:13:22,170 --> 00:13:25,410 Speaker 1: can spot a con a mile off a double rainbow. 211 00:13:25,530 --> 00:13:30,890 Speaker 1: It's legit a double rainbow. And even Howard's impressed mildly, 212 00:13:31,450 --> 00:13:37,290 Speaker 1: and so James and I give ourselves over Fully overcome 213 00:13:37,370 --> 00:13:40,650 Speaker 1: by this fortuitous sign, the crew was moved to song. 214 00:13:41,330 --> 00:13:46,170 Speaker 5: So its red and purple and crimson and green apple and. 215 00:13:46,290 --> 00:13:49,250 Speaker 1: A rainbow was a good omen Like James's dad, Douglas 216 00:13:49,290 --> 00:13:52,010 Speaker 1: was looking down on us and smiling a big, multicolored 217 00:13:52,090 --> 00:14:00,930 Speaker 1: upside down smile, and Jen Blue. Sure we were dressed 218 00:14:00,930 --> 00:14:03,850 Speaker 1: to the eighteens, but if we each took forty five 219 00:14:03,890 --> 00:14:06,690 Speaker 1: minutes to sink a ball from two feet away, we 220 00:14:06,810 --> 00:14:12,090 Speaker 1: might attract suspicion. We needed to train hard. I'm talking 221 00:14:12,210 --> 00:14:16,450 Speaker 1: rocky running through waist high Russian snow hard, a montage 222 00:14:16,530 --> 00:14:19,410 Speaker 1: of steel drum musicians learning to play Chariots of Fire 223 00:14:19,810 --> 00:14:23,170 Speaker 1: set to the tune of Ayah the Tiger hard. I'm 224 00:14:23,210 --> 00:14:32,610 Speaker 1: talking actually learning how to play golf. We find a 225 00:14:32,690 --> 00:14:35,530 Speaker 1: driving range in the fancier part of town and book 226 00:14:35,530 --> 00:14:41,050 Speaker 1: a golf pro by the name of Stephen. Saturday, one pm. 227 00:14:41,570 --> 00:14:45,930 Speaker 1: Are you Stephen, Hey, Stephen, I'm Jonathan, This is Howard, 228 00:14:46,690 --> 00:14:51,050 Speaker 1: and this is James. This is Stephen. Stephen a smile 229 00:14:51,130 --> 00:14:53,970 Speaker 1: with more dimples than the golf balls. He lovingly cradles 230 00:14:54,450 --> 00:14:57,330 Speaker 1: a tall drink of sports aqua velva ou de toilette 231 00:14:57,410 --> 00:15:01,930 Speaker 1: if ever there was Stephen's been golfing professionally for over 232 00:15:02,010 --> 00:15:06,090 Speaker 1: twenty years and couldn't be nicer or better. Smelling and 233 00:15:06,210 --> 00:15:09,850 Speaker 1: considering the frantic barrage of imbecilic questions, we ask he 234 00:15:09,930 --> 00:15:11,730 Speaker 1: also couldn't be more patient. 235 00:15:12,850 --> 00:15:15,050 Speaker 5: Those official call shoes. Yeah, well, I want good questions 236 00:15:15,050 --> 00:15:16,410 Speaker 5: and stupid what a golfers think about? 237 00:15:16,410 --> 00:15:18,170 Speaker 2: Like happy gilmore like mo like that. They find that 238 00:15:18,210 --> 00:15:19,050 Speaker 2: they find it insulting. 239 00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:26,610 Speaker 1: After a brief lecture on the basic how to's hit 240 00:15:26,690 --> 00:15:30,050 Speaker 1: ball with stick, cold stick, with hands, get ball in hole, 241 00:15:30,650 --> 00:15:35,050 Speaker 1: we're ready, we insist James go first. After all, this 242 00:15:35,290 --> 00:15:37,530 Speaker 1: is his mission. What we want of these really is 243 00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:37,930 Speaker 1: finish it. 244 00:15:38,050 --> 00:15:38,410 Speaker 4: Just like this. 245 00:15:38,570 --> 00:15:40,450 Speaker 2: Yere, we're gonna get to the well. 246 00:15:40,490 --> 00:15:44,730 Speaker 1: Stephen tenderly positions James hips and elbows. Howard grabs my 247 00:15:44,850 --> 00:15:47,130 Speaker 1: microphone and golf commentates. 248 00:15:47,730 --> 00:15:49,650 Speaker 5: I'd say he looks really really horrible. 249 00:15:50,010 --> 00:15:52,890 Speaker 6: It's just ridiculous looking. I'm not encouraging. 250 00:15:56,210 --> 00:16:00,530 Speaker 1: Somehow, James manages to connect on his very first try. 251 00:16:01,090 --> 00:16:01,490 Speaker 1: That's good. 252 00:16:02,650 --> 00:16:04,130 Speaker 2: Everyone's saying very encouraging things. 253 00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,530 Speaker 7: But it's really horrible just the same. 254 00:16:05,610 --> 00:16:06,170 Speaker 2: But he got it. 255 00:16:06,170 --> 00:16:07,450 Speaker 1: It went in the air and he hit it. 256 00:16:07,930 --> 00:16:10,090 Speaker 5: It's like you say to a child's. 257 00:16:09,650 --> 00:16:13,250 Speaker 1: Good you hit it. Stephen looks over at Howard, who 258 00:16:13,290 --> 00:16:16,290 Speaker 1: now squats in the grass, untying and retying his two 259 00:16:16,370 --> 00:16:20,210 Speaker 1: left footed Goodwill issued golf shoes and then he looks 260 00:16:20,210 --> 00:16:23,130 Speaker 1: over at me, a grown man in a two large 261 00:16:23,170 --> 00:16:26,290 Speaker 1: tilly hat, strings cinched tight enough beneath the chin to 262 00:16:26,450 --> 00:16:29,930 Speaker 1: ensure the clenched, jawed vocal affect of a young Katherine Hepburn. 263 00:16:30,810 --> 00:16:33,850 Speaker 1: He waives us to come hither, offering up something in 264 00:16:33,890 --> 00:16:35,210 Speaker 1: the way of inspiration. 265 00:16:36,050 --> 00:16:38,330 Speaker 5: I'm gonna try to make it go from right to left. 266 00:16:38,650 --> 00:16:40,090 Speaker 4: It must feel really good when you get it up 267 00:16:40,130 --> 00:16:40,650 Speaker 4: in the air like that. 268 00:16:41,010 --> 00:16:43,530 Speaker 2: Well, it's great because that's the goal, right, is to 269 00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:44,010 Speaker 2: get it up. 270 00:16:46,170 --> 00:16:49,250 Speaker 1: The golf ball flies straight up into the air, and then, 271 00:16:49,690 --> 00:16:53,930 Speaker 1: as though eerily achieving human consciousness in mid flight, suddenly 272 00:16:53,970 --> 00:16:59,490 Speaker 1: takes a sharp left. Wah so cool. Howard, baptized in 273 00:16:59,530 --> 00:17:03,690 Speaker 1: the backsplash of Stephen's pheromones, is born again. He's seen 274 00:17:03,770 --> 00:17:08,210 Speaker 1: the pinnacle of male perfection. And James, it is not see. 275 00:17:08,090 --> 00:17:11,090 Speaker 2: James, that's what it looks like. That's when a man 276 00:17:11,250 --> 00:17:12,129 Speaker 2: hits a golf ball. 277 00:17:12,290 --> 00:17:14,129 Speaker 5: A male of the species is a golf ball. 278 00:17:15,010 --> 00:17:18,369 Speaker 1: Next up is Howard. He steps to the tee, grips 279 00:17:18,409 --> 00:17:21,570 Speaker 1: the club, and just the way Stephen instructed, does this 280 00:17:21,609 --> 00:17:24,729 Speaker 1: adorable waddle back and forth to get his footing just so, 281 00:17:25,689 --> 00:17:30,129 Speaker 1: And then did you hear that, Let me play it 282 00:17:30,169 --> 00:17:36,169 Speaker 1: again thrice. A swing and a miss, A swing and 283 00:17:36,169 --> 00:17:37,810 Speaker 1: a miss, A swing and a miss. 284 00:17:38,050 --> 00:17:39,929 Speaker 3: That's too much a little bit if you're losing your 285 00:17:39,929 --> 00:17:43,129 Speaker 3: balance between fast. The first twenty five. 286 00:17:43,090 --> 00:17:49,609 Speaker 1: Years are tough, oh, Steven, all this and funny too. 287 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:54,010 Speaker 1: My attempts were just as fruitless. As it turns out. 288 00:17:54,409 --> 00:17:57,410 Speaker 1: Golf is hard. We wonder if Douglas knew just how 289 00:17:57,409 --> 00:17:59,090 Speaker 1: difficult a mission he'd sent us on. 290 00:17:59,850 --> 00:18:02,210 Speaker 4: How would do we do without a golf pro standing 291 00:18:02,209 --> 00:18:03,209 Speaker 4: there helping us? 292 00:18:03,770 --> 00:18:06,609 Speaker 1: You know the difference between golf clubs, and. 293 00:18:06,770 --> 00:18:10,570 Speaker 4: There's a wet Oh I don't, not really, I mean 294 00:18:10,609 --> 00:18:11,129 Speaker 4: I know it's a. 295 00:18:11,209 --> 00:18:16,649 Speaker 5: Ledge driver, putterer one iron, two iron, three iron, pudder 296 00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:18,890 Speaker 5: driver pudder. 297 00:18:22,770 --> 00:18:22,930 Speaker 2: One. 298 00:18:23,449 --> 00:18:26,649 Speaker 1: Nine am. It's the night before the job, and the 299 00:18:26,689 --> 00:18:30,170 Speaker 1: reality of our situation begins to set in. How can 300 00:18:30,209 --> 00:18:33,409 Speaker 1: any sting be stung when the would be stingers absolutely 301 00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:37,290 Speaker 1: stink at golf. Clearly this plan wasn't going to work, 302 00:18:37,970 --> 00:18:40,169 Speaker 1: and so at a quarter to two in the morning, 303 00:18:40,850 --> 00:18:41,690 Speaker 1: panic set in. 304 00:18:42,449 --> 00:18:45,889 Speaker 2: It's impossible. It's impossible for us to play golf. We 305 00:18:45,929 --> 00:18:47,810 Speaker 2: would suck so hard we would never make it off. 306 00:18:47,810 --> 00:18:49,889 Speaker 2: The first fucking hole and if we knocked the balls anywhere. 307 00:18:49,970 --> 00:18:50,729 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm with you. 308 00:18:50,810 --> 00:18:52,729 Speaker 2: It's like learning how to fucking juggle. It's like it's 309 00:18:52,770 --> 00:18:55,129 Speaker 2: it's an incredibly impossible thing to do. It's gonna be 310 00:18:55,129 --> 00:18:58,090 Speaker 2: so obvious that there's something's up because we've never fucking golfed. 311 00:18:58,250 --> 00:19:00,890 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the issue. If we're doing any sort of subterfuge, 312 00:19:01,050 --> 00:19:04,649 Speaker 3: we're gonna be the most obvious conspicuous. 313 00:19:03,770 --> 00:19:05,249 Speaker 2: People in the world, vicious. 314 00:19:05,330 --> 00:19:07,489 Speaker 3: And then we'll have to get all the way to 315 00:19:07,570 --> 00:19:10,369 Speaker 3: the eighteenth holl That takes hours, literally hours, even if 316 00:19:10,409 --> 00:19:13,449 Speaker 3: you're good, literally and then try to with the ashes 317 00:19:13,449 --> 00:19:14,129 Speaker 3: out forget it. 318 00:19:15,369 --> 00:19:18,210 Speaker 1: Two fifteen am. Do you guys know what? Stomp rockets 319 00:19:18,209 --> 00:19:21,050 Speaker 1: are growing desperate, we chuck the old plan and begin 320 00:19:21,129 --> 00:19:22,889 Speaker 1: to free associate new plans. 321 00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:25,850 Speaker 3: We did a T shirt cannon. Well you know actually 322 00:19:25,889 --> 00:19:26,850 Speaker 3: that that could work. 323 00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:30,530 Speaker 1: Three zho five am. 324 00:19:30,649 --> 00:19:32,650 Speaker 2: What if we dumped them into say, like a balloon 325 00:19:33,209 --> 00:19:36,929 Speaker 2: and then filled it with water and then whip them 326 00:19:37,129 --> 00:19:40,410 Speaker 2: so they'll explode all on the eighteenth green and that's it. 327 00:19:40,929 --> 00:19:44,009 Speaker 1: This was going nowhere. So I raised the possibility of 328 00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:46,769 Speaker 1: our pulling off a night job for those of you 329 00:19:46,889 --> 00:19:49,169 Speaker 1: squares who need to be hept to it. That's a 330 00:19:49,250 --> 00:19:50,770 Speaker 1: job one performs at night. 331 00:19:51,250 --> 00:19:53,050 Speaker 2: I think they might have dogs. What if they think 332 00:19:53,050 --> 00:19:56,449 Speaker 2: we're like terrorists or something super super posh exclusive club 333 00:19:56,609 --> 00:19:59,009 Speaker 2: going late at night with someone's human remains, which is 334 00:19:59,050 --> 00:19:59,970 Speaker 2: fucking totally illegal. 335 00:20:00,090 --> 00:20:01,930 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean they must have some sort of security there. 336 00:20:02,050 --> 00:20:04,530 Speaker 1: Well a hundred percent the sun was coming up soon, 337 00:20:04,889 --> 00:20:07,769 Speaker 1: So I suggest that, like in Dog Day Afternoon or 338 00:20:07,850 --> 00:20:11,330 Speaker 1: Reservoir Dogs, or really any other movies about dogs that 339 00:20:11,369 --> 00:20:14,249 Speaker 1: I've also not seen but can only assume have happy, 340 00:20:14,290 --> 00:20:17,690 Speaker 1: heartwarming endings, maybe we just show up during the day 341 00:20:18,169 --> 00:20:21,890 Speaker 1: and hope for the best. This idea, Okay, that works 342 00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:27,409 Speaker 1: for me, they liked. After the break the a team 343 00:20:27,449 --> 00:20:29,489 Speaker 1: of golf sets off on its mission. 344 00:20:30,050 --> 00:20:31,769 Speaker 2: Oh, I want to be golf lung win and you 345 00:20:31,770 --> 00:20:35,010 Speaker 2: can be mister t t e R. Gotcha. 346 00:20:35,090 --> 00:20:35,929 Speaker 1: I want one of mine? 347 00:20:36,810 --> 00:20:40,290 Speaker 2: You just know it's wedge. Your your Reginald van cleef. 348 00:20:56,369 --> 00:20:57,889 Speaker 5: Yous want to drink Scotch yet? 349 00:20:57,970 --> 00:20:59,889 Speaker 1: Maybe on ice? Sure? 350 00:21:00,290 --> 00:21:00,649 Speaker 4: Thank you. 351 00:21:02,209 --> 00:21:07,450 Speaker 1: Sunday eight ten am, Father's Day arrives, a beautiful one 352 00:21:07,490 --> 00:21:10,330 Speaker 1: in Montreal. Janie says it's a lot like the day 353 00:21:10,369 --> 00:21:14,330 Speaker 1: Douglas died. We all rendezvous at the safe house, which 354 00:21:14,409 --> 00:21:17,970 Speaker 1: also happens to be Howard's wreck room. James has held 355 00:21:18,010 --> 00:21:20,650 Speaker 1: on to his dad's urn for sixteen years, but he's 356 00:21:20,649 --> 00:21:22,730 Speaker 1: always kept it in the velvet bag it came with, 357 00:21:23,250 --> 00:21:26,649 Speaker 1: so he's never actually handled it. Earlier in the day, though, 358 00:21:26,810 --> 00:21:30,050 Speaker 1: in anticipation of the job, he withdrew it. And if 359 00:21:30,090 --> 00:21:32,850 Speaker 1: there was any question about just how much Douglas loved golf, 360 00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:37,250 Speaker 1: it was immediately answered by what was revealed. Etched into 361 00:21:37,250 --> 00:21:40,489 Speaker 1: the side of the urn was a golfer in mid swing. 362 00:21:45,530 --> 00:21:49,130 Speaker 5: It hears to you, Dad, don't think some of Brussy's 363 00:21:49,129 --> 00:21:51,729 Speaker 5: poop bags that are actually uncented, which is kind of nice. 364 00:21:51,889 --> 00:21:53,609 Speaker 5: We're going to use these to chants for some of 365 00:21:53,689 --> 00:21:56,129 Speaker 5: James's beloved's father's ash isn't here. 366 00:21:56,810 --> 00:21:59,529 Speaker 1: Howard had the idea of using his pugs poop bags 367 00:21:59,570 --> 00:22:02,969 Speaker 1: to separate the ashes into portions for each of us. 368 00:22:03,010 --> 00:22:05,769 Speaker 1: His reasoning, should one of us get pinched by some 369 00:22:05,850 --> 00:22:09,009 Speaker 1: golf clubhouse Johnny Law, the two surviving members of the 370 00:22:09,169 --> 00:22:11,410 Speaker 1: crew could still carry out the job. 371 00:22:11,609 --> 00:22:12,970 Speaker 2: Oh my god, this is so strange. 372 00:22:13,889 --> 00:22:15,009 Speaker 1: Oh I want a business. 373 00:22:15,209 --> 00:22:16,969 Speaker 3: I don't know what a business. I definitely what a 374 00:22:16,970 --> 00:22:17,690 Speaker 3: fucking business. 375 00:22:18,970 --> 00:22:21,689 Speaker 4: Well, I'm glad you've got I'm glad, I'm I've had 376 00:22:21,689 --> 00:22:23,570 Speaker 4: a couple drinks, still getting off. I don't know, but 377 00:22:23,570 --> 00:22:24,889 Speaker 4: I'm really glad you guys are doing this with me, 378 00:22:27,129 --> 00:22:29,050 Speaker 4: You're part of this thing. For sixteen years, there was 379 00:22:29,090 --> 00:22:30,929 Speaker 4: there was this sort of fear that I wouldn't be 380 00:22:30,929 --> 00:22:34,129 Speaker 4: able to handle dealing with it, the physicality of it. 381 00:22:34,530 --> 00:22:36,649 Speaker 4: But if if there's something I'm now grateful for it, 382 00:22:36,649 --> 00:22:38,330 Speaker 4: and I wonder if there was some wisdom in it, 383 00:22:38,369 --> 00:22:42,090 Speaker 4: is that he has compelled me to deal with this. 384 00:22:42,649 --> 00:22:43,890 Speaker 1: I've never cursed him for it. 385 00:22:43,850 --> 00:22:46,090 Speaker 4: But I've been angry. I've never been angry, but I've 386 00:22:46,250 --> 00:22:47,729 Speaker 4: been I don't know what the word is, sort of 387 00:22:47,770 --> 00:22:50,129 Speaker 4: like fuck. You know, you couldn't just go without, you 388 00:22:50,129 --> 00:22:54,570 Speaker 4: couldn't just die. You had to make this somewhat absurd, 389 00:22:54,649 --> 00:22:58,249 Speaker 4: ridiculous request that was impractical and almost impossible to achieve. 390 00:22:58,409 --> 00:23:00,369 Speaker 4: But I'm right saying right now kind of almost grateful 391 00:23:00,369 --> 00:23:04,130 Speaker 4: for it. So let's uh, let's hope, let's hope we're 392 00:23:04,129 --> 00:23:04,929 Speaker 4: successful today. 393 00:23:07,409 --> 00:23:09,050 Speaker 1: Eight twenty five am. 394 00:23:09,449 --> 00:23:09,689 Speaker 2: I don't know. 395 00:23:10,530 --> 00:23:13,250 Speaker 1: As we set off on the job, Howard shows doubts 396 00:23:13,290 --> 00:23:14,090 Speaker 1: about his outfit. 397 00:23:14,689 --> 00:23:16,569 Speaker 2: I look like a fat failure of a dentist. 398 00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:19,449 Speaker 5: I looked like I lost my practice because I put 399 00:23:19,530 --> 00:23:21,010 Speaker 5: dentures in a child's mouth. 400 00:23:25,689 --> 00:23:31,930 Speaker 1: As we near the golf course, James grows silent, Am 401 00:23:31,929 --> 00:23:32,969 Speaker 1: I have part in a space? 402 00:23:33,850 --> 00:23:34,290 Speaker 5: All right? 403 00:23:34,409 --> 00:23:38,249 Speaker 1: Good show? How are you feeling nervous? I'm going to 404 00:23:38,449 --> 00:23:44,090 Speaker 1: park near here, just for a quick getaway from the 405 00:23:44,129 --> 00:23:47,330 Speaker 1: parking lot. We wind our way towards the green. Maybe 406 00:23:47,330 --> 00:23:49,609 Speaker 1: it's testament to a tillie had cocked at just the 407 00:23:49,649 --> 00:23:53,170 Speaker 1: right angle. But nobody seems to be stopping us. We 408 00:23:53,330 --> 00:23:57,009 Speaker 1: have infiltrated, like how manicured it is. 409 00:23:57,010 --> 00:23:58,810 Speaker 5: It's like it's like it looks like like a pool table, 410 00:23:59,209 --> 00:24:01,689 Speaker 5: as it was a pile of ashes there in the middle. 411 00:24:02,330 --> 00:24:05,529 Speaker 1: The golf course is what you'd expect, green grass as 412 00:24:05,570 --> 00:24:09,090 Speaker 1: far as the eye can see, trees, ponds, It's beauty, 413 00:24:09,209 --> 00:24:13,289 Speaker 1: full and under normal circumstances, it'd make us feel peaceful like, 414 00:24:13,810 --> 00:24:16,249 Speaker 1: but just now it's making us feel out of place, 415 00:24:16,770 --> 00:24:20,290 Speaker 1: reminding us of who we are. Three frightened middle aged 416 00:24:20,290 --> 00:24:24,209 Speaker 1: men dressed in discarded plumbing company uniforms, struggling under the 417 00:24:24,250 --> 00:24:27,729 Speaker 1: weight of our bulky knapsacks and a mission that just 418 00:24:27,850 --> 00:24:37,489 Speaker 1: now feels too big. For us, I don't should we 419 00:24:37,490 --> 00:24:39,209 Speaker 1: just try to go to the eighteenth hole or should 420 00:24:39,209 --> 00:24:42,730 Speaker 1: we go in? And that's I believe that's it isn't. 421 00:24:43,530 --> 00:24:46,210 Speaker 1: As it turns out, the eighteenth hole is the whole 422 00:24:46,290 --> 00:24:52,330 Speaker 1: nearest the parking lot. That red flag is your destination 423 00:24:52,330 --> 00:24:52,930 Speaker 1: screen of. 424 00:24:52,889 --> 00:24:55,889 Speaker 4: The eighteenth hole, and that is it. It is the 425 00:24:55,889 --> 00:24:59,409 Speaker 4: most conspicuous hole. So thanks a lot that Right now, 426 00:25:00,369 --> 00:25:03,969 Speaker 4: right now, we're going to watch even now living one. 427 00:25:08,689 --> 00:25:11,969 Speaker 1: We just to play it cool case the joint. We 428 00:25:12,050 --> 00:25:13,890 Speaker 1: make our way to the ninth hole, which is out 429 00:25:13,929 --> 00:25:17,809 Speaker 1: of view, and it's here that fear sets in and 430 00:25:17,889 --> 00:25:19,969 Speaker 1: with it bargaining. 431 00:25:20,290 --> 00:25:22,690 Speaker 4: The ninth hole, Dad, right here be perfect. I could 432 00:25:22,730 --> 00:25:24,489 Speaker 4: go with the whole earned dump it. Maybe he liked 433 00:25:24,490 --> 00:25:25,970 Speaker 4: the screen, he liked the whole, he liked the whole 434 00:25:26,010 --> 00:25:26,449 Speaker 4: golf course. 435 00:25:26,530 --> 00:25:27,050 Speaker 3: It wasn't his. 436 00:25:27,250 --> 00:25:28,410 Speaker 4: But I know this is the back nine. 437 00:25:28,409 --> 00:25:31,050 Speaker 1: I know he liked the bat next denial. 438 00:25:31,330 --> 00:25:32,050 Speaker 2: That's my question. 439 00:25:32,129 --> 00:25:34,449 Speaker 5: Why don't your dad, who is an avid golfer, who's 440 00:25:34,449 --> 00:25:37,169 Speaker 5: probably really really serious for those games, why would he want. 441 00:25:37,090 --> 00:25:39,169 Speaker 2: To put his ashes on the green which would interfere 442 00:25:39,169 --> 00:25:41,050 Speaker 2: with another golfers. 443 00:25:43,530 --> 00:25:46,090 Speaker 1: I suggest we cool our heels in the clubhouse. And 444 00:25:46,129 --> 00:25:49,529 Speaker 1: the boys agree. It turns out that that evening is 445 00:25:49,530 --> 00:25:52,570 Speaker 1: a Father's Day banquet, so the staff is rushing to prepare, 446 00:25:52,970 --> 00:25:57,570 Speaker 1: which allows us to wander around relatively unnoticed. The club 447 00:25:57,609 --> 00:26:00,289 Speaker 1: goes back about one hundred years, and on the walls 448 00:26:00,330 --> 00:26:03,769 Speaker 1: are hung old brown and white photos and plaques commemorating 449 00:26:03,770 --> 00:26:07,409 Speaker 1: the members who've died fighting in both World Wars. Since 450 00:26:07,449 --> 00:26:09,969 Speaker 1: almost the start of our mission, James had expressed a 451 00:26:10,010 --> 00:26:12,170 Speaker 1: fear that maybe no one at the club would even 452 00:26:12,290 --> 00:26:15,609 Speaker 1: remember his dad. Douglas was just such a loner that 453 00:26:15,730 --> 00:26:18,290 Speaker 1: over the years James had never met any of his friends. 454 00:26:18,929 --> 00:26:21,010 Speaker 1: As far as he knew, he didn't really have any 455 00:26:21,770 --> 00:26:23,570 Speaker 1: There was a lot about his dad he didn't know, 456 00:26:24,050 --> 00:26:26,689 Speaker 1: like whether he was even any good at golf. So 457 00:26:26,730 --> 00:26:28,889 Speaker 1: we was hoping he might find some small trace of 458 00:26:28,929 --> 00:26:32,009 Speaker 1: him here, a photo, or even his name on a 459 00:26:32,050 --> 00:26:36,930 Speaker 1: list somewhere. Oh the registreet we find a large, old 460 00:26:36,929 --> 00:26:41,050 Speaker 1: looking book that lists every champion in the course's history. Wow, 461 00:26:41,090 --> 00:26:43,050 Speaker 1: it goes back to nineteen oh three. 462 00:26:43,369 --> 00:26:48,889 Speaker 4: Passage and Williamson. I mean, I'm sure he's probably documented 463 00:26:48,970 --> 00:26:52,170 Speaker 4: in some books somewhere. It's just, of course I'll find it. 464 00:26:52,369 --> 00:26:55,130 Speaker 1: Do you want to check that book. Did you look 465 00:26:55,169 --> 00:26:55,649 Speaker 1: through willis? 466 00:26:56,050 --> 00:26:57,210 Speaker 6: Yeah, I didn't see any of her. 467 00:26:58,490 --> 00:27:01,169 Speaker 1: Since the book won't talk, we look for someone who will. 468 00:27:01,689 --> 00:27:04,290 Speaker 1: We stop every staff member and golfer who looks old 469 00:27:04,409 --> 00:27:06,330 Speaker 1: enough and ask if they remember Douglas. 470 00:27:06,490 --> 00:27:07,689 Speaker 3: I'm saying it was Douglas. 471 00:27:07,449 --> 00:27:09,609 Speaker 4: Sarch the past away in two thousand, were hoping to 472 00:27:09,609 --> 00:27:10,930 Speaker 4: find some sort of inside of him. 473 00:27:11,010 --> 00:27:11,170 Speaker 1: Fight. 474 00:27:12,490 --> 00:27:14,170 Speaker 3: The name is a ring a bell. Doug was Hirst 475 00:27:14,250 --> 00:27:17,449 Speaker 3: a long time ago. People who remember and I played 476 00:27:17,490 --> 00:27:18,169 Speaker 3: six in the morning. 477 00:27:18,169 --> 00:27:21,090 Speaker 2: So the only guys I know are the grass. 478 00:27:22,369 --> 00:27:26,210 Speaker 1: I didn't know him yet, No Dice until Doug Hurst. 479 00:27:26,290 --> 00:27:27,530 Speaker 7: You guys knew him. 480 00:27:27,530 --> 00:27:28,850 Speaker 5: Sure, that's his son. 481 00:27:31,330 --> 00:27:34,809 Speaker 1: In a basement room, squeezed into an armchair watching golf 482 00:27:34,850 --> 00:27:39,490 Speaker 1: on TV is Serge. A French Canadian bulldog of a man. 483 00:27:39,609 --> 00:27:42,730 Speaker 1: He pours fistfuls of mixed nuts into his mouth, which 484 00:27:42,730 --> 00:27:45,449 Speaker 1: he washes down with generous slugs from his beer. 485 00:27:46,369 --> 00:27:47,169 Speaker 2: Cruizy dog. 486 00:27:47,209 --> 00:27:47,529 Speaker 3: That's you. 487 00:27:49,449 --> 00:27:52,409 Speaker 1: Through the half jar of fancy cocktail nuts crammed into 488 00:27:52,409 --> 00:27:55,210 Speaker 1: his grizzled maw. You might not be able to understand 489 00:27:55,290 --> 00:27:59,010 Speaker 1: the words Sarge is desperately trying to choke out. He's 490 00:27:59,010 --> 00:28:06,609 Speaker 1: saying crazy Doug. Crazy Doug is his nickname for James's dad. Oh, 491 00:28:06,649 --> 00:28:08,129 Speaker 1: I'm so glad I found someone who remember him. 492 00:28:08,169 --> 00:28:10,009 Speaker 5: We asked a few people and not too many, you'll know, 493 00:28:10,010 --> 00:28:12,209 Speaker 5: Bambernham help me find in maybe a staff member who 494 00:28:12,250 --> 00:28:13,530 Speaker 5: had been here a while that no one knew a 495 00:28:13,609 --> 00:28:16,369 Speaker 5: lot of You know, I'm him very well. 496 00:28:16,810 --> 00:28:18,129 Speaker 4: So is he a good golf player? 497 00:28:18,369 --> 00:28:18,770 Speaker 1: Was he good? 498 00:28:18,889 --> 00:28:24,529 Speaker 6: It was a good golfer. Yeah, he was like was 499 00:28:24,570 --> 00:28:29,129 Speaker 6: it eight or nine handicap? Okay, Oh, that's very good. 500 00:28:29,409 --> 00:28:34,249 Speaker 7: He is like the top five percent of all the 501 00:28:34,290 --> 00:28:36,770 Speaker 7: golfers in the world. So he was very good. 502 00:28:37,050 --> 00:28:40,690 Speaker 1: He was very good, and he was dedicated. The room 503 00:28:40,730 --> 00:28:43,050 Speaker 1: full of golf clubs that James had thought was garbage, 504 00:28:43,490 --> 00:28:47,090 Speaker 1: Sarah spoke of it with respect. He called it the largest, 505 00:28:47,170 --> 00:28:50,090 Speaker 1: most complete collection of golf clubs in all of Canada. 506 00:28:51,290 --> 00:28:53,650 Speaker 1: You never want to hear someone refer to a person 507 00:28:53,690 --> 00:28:56,610 Speaker 1: you love by a pet name prefixed by the word crazy. 508 00:28:57,170 --> 00:28:59,370 Speaker 1: But the benefit is that when they tell you stuff 509 00:28:59,370 --> 00:29:02,650 Speaker 1: about your dad, you know they're being honest. So when 510 00:29:02,690 --> 00:29:05,810 Speaker 1: Sarah says what he says next, James knows he can 511 00:29:05,810 --> 00:29:06,610 Speaker 1: believe him. 512 00:29:07,250 --> 00:29:12,210 Speaker 7: I don't think I have ever met somebody as brilliant 513 00:29:12,370 --> 00:29:17,410 Speaker 7: as your dad, the level of knowledge about every day. 514 00:29:19,130 --> 00:29:22,690 Speaker 7: But on the other side, he was also very I 515 00:29:22,850 --> 00:29:27,330 Speaker 7: wasn't too shy isolated like executive. Yeah, he quickly alone. 516 00:29:28,690 --> 00:29:31,209 Speaker 7: We saw him very rarely on the clubhouse. 517 00:29:31,370 --> 00:29:33,570 Speaker 4: I think it was because he was a bit of 518 00:29:33,610 --> 00:29:34,610 Speaker 4: a loner. 519 00:29:34,690 --> 00:29:35,410 Speaker 1: But he did love. 520 00:29:35,410 --> 00:29:36,890 Speaker 4: People, and he loved the people here, and he did 521 00:29:36,890 --> 00:29:39,450 Speaker 4: love all his friends here. But he really loved to 522 00:29:39,490 --> 00:29:41,130 Speaker 4: come at six in the morning when he could just 523 00:29:41,170 --> 00:29:43,209 Speaker 4: do his thing. That was very my father. That's what 524 00:29:43,209 --> 00:29:45,250 Speaker 4: I really used to say, dude, it's very my father. 525 00:29:45,290 --> 00:29:46,570 Speaker 1: And it's not that he didn't like people. 526 00:29:46,810 --> 00:29:47,690 Speaker 5: He just liked to. 527 00:29:47,650 --> 00:29:51,130 Speaker 4: Do things at his speed, his way and be done 528 00:29:51,650 --> 00:29:52,770 Speaker 4: because he was sort of a loner. 529 00:29:52,770 --> 00:29:53,370 Speaker 3: He was a loner. 530 00:29:53,810 --> 00:29:54,370 Speaker 1: He's my father. 531 00:29:54,810 --> 00:29:56,010 Speaker 6: You're the son of your father. 532 00:29:57,010 --> 00:30:04,249 Speaker 1: And with that, it's time for James to become the 533 00:30:04,290 --> 00:30:06,969 Speaker 1: son his father had asked him to be and do 534 00:30:07,050 --> 00:30:07,969 Speaker 1: the job we came for. 535 00:30:10,850 --> 00:30:12,729 Speaker 5: It's a great Now we're just we're just walking around, 536 00:30:12,690 --> 00:30:14,370 Speaker 5: we're members, remembers sons. 537 00:30:14,730 --> 00:30:17,370 Speaker 1: We head back outside and walk with purpose to the 538 00:30:17,410 --> 00:30:21,330 Speaker 1: eighteenth hole. As fate would have it, the coast is clear. 539 00:30:21,610 --> 00:30:25,170 Speaker 2: Actually, James, right now, turn your head right now here 540 00:30:25,690 --> 00:30:27,250 Speaker 2: just just kind of just just kind of cool. 541 00:30:28,370 --> 00:30:30,850 Speaker 5: Yeah, tire shoe, tire shoe, this opportunity right now. 542 00:30:31,209 --> 00:30:32,050 Speaker 2: Let's walk with him. 543 00:30:32,930 --> 00:30:34,890 Speaker 1: With Howard on his left and me on his right. 544 00:30:35,209 --> 00:30:37,850 Speaker 1: We walked James out to the green, doing our best 545 00:30:37,890 --> 00:30:40,890 Speaker 1: to protect him from view. Yeah, but we're walking with you. 546 00:30:41,490 --> 00:30:42,970 Speaker 2: Say something, maybe I will. 547 00:30:43,130 --> 00:30:47,290 Speaker 4: I will say something in my head. 548 00:30:48,170 --> 00:30:49,370 Speaker 1: Do you want to say something in your head? 549 00:30:49,410 --> 00:30:50,570 Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm just saying something in my head. 550 00:30:50,610 --> 00:30:59,290 Speaker 5: Okay, Well, we're actually doing this. This is incredible because 551 00:30:59,290 --> 00:31:00,170 Speaker 5: you're actually doing it right now. 552 00:31:00,170 --> 00:31:01,090 Speaker 2: This is actually happening. 553 00:31:01,450 --> 00:31:04,450 Speaker 5: He's actually putting his dad's ashes right on the eighteenth hole, 554 00:31:04,610 --> 00:31:05,130 Speaker 5: just like he wanted. 555 00:31:05,170 --> 00:31:06,290 Speaker 2: We didn't think this would be possible. 556 00:31:06,290 --> 00:31:08,530 Speaker 5: Actually, James just tip just how he put He just 557 00:31:08,570 --> 00:31:09,810 Speaker 5: dumped it right now the eighteenth hole. 558 00:31:13,810 --> 00:31:14,770 Speaker 4: I got it right in the hole. 559 00:31:16,090 --> 00:31:18,610 Speaker 1: That felt really good. I'm really glad right in the 560 00:31:18,650 --> 00:31:21,130 Speaker 1: hole exactly. I feel great. 561 00:31:21,850 --> 00:31:22,569 Speaker 4: I feel awesome. 562 00:31:28,170 --> 00:31:31,249 Speaker 1: Howard and I are feeling pretty good too. This is 563 00:31:31,290 --> 00:31:33,729 Speaker 1: the last time James would ever get to do something 564 00:31:33,810 --> 00:31:36,370 Speaker 1: his dad had asked him to do, and we're proud 565 00:31:36,410 --> 00:31:38,370 Speaker 1: to be a small part of it. We put our 566 00:31:38,450 --> 00:31:41,050 Speaker 1: arms around our friend's neck and pat his back. 567 00:31:43,450 --> 00:31:44,890 Speaker 3: Okay, well you got back home. 568 00:31:47,090 --> 00:31:47,810 Speaker 6: That's incredible. 569 00:31:49,730 --> 00:31:51,770 Speaker 1: Happy father's Day, Happy father's Day. 570 00:31:51,970 --> 00:31:54,450 Speaker 4: Happy father's Day. 571 00:31:54,730 --> 00:31:58,730 Speaker 1: Worked out perfectly. And James is right, it has kind 572 00:31:58,730 --> 00:32:02,209 Speaker 1: of worked out perfectly. Sure, unlike the end of heist 573 00:32:02,209 --> 00:32:05,570 Speaker 1: films like Reservoir Dogs, we weren't sipping drinks from a 574 00:32:05,570 --> 00:32:08,610 Speaker 1: coconut on a beautiful beach. But James had become the 575 00:32:08,610 --> 00:32:11,170 Speaker 1: person he wanted to be, and I'd become the person 576 00:32:11,209 --> 00:32:13,370 Speaker 1: who helped him become the person he wanted to be. 577 00:32:14,330 --> 00:32:17,489 Speaker 1: And Howard, well, he'd become the person who fills up 578 00:32:17,490 --> 00:32:20,170 Speaker 1: a dog poop bag with free golf clubhouse dinner mint. 579 00:32:20,890 --> 00:32:23,690 Speaker 1: So while in all it was a happy ending. 580 00:32:24,250 --> 00:32:27,330 Speaker 2: Thank you guys for doing this, James had a fistful 581 00:32:27,370 --> 00:32:30,090 Speaker 2: of his father's ashes in his hand, and he walked 582 00:32:30,130 --> 00:32:33,050 Speaker 2: onto that green like a dawn bend onto one. He 583 00:32:33,090 --> 00:32:34,969 Speaker 2: tipped his hat and just dumped it right into the 584 00:32:34,970 --> 00:32:37,370 Speaker 2: hole and clean right in the hole. That was a 585 00:32:37,410 --> 00:32:38,770 Speaker 2: hole in one. That's what I would say. 586 00:33:03,290 --> 00:33:09,330 Speaker 1: Now that the Fernitures returned to its goodwill. 587 00:33:12,570 --> 00:33:17,250 Speaker 4: Now that the last month's rant is skeidening. 588 00:33:16,530 --> 00:33:20,010 Speaker 1: With the damage to the pole, take this moment to 589 00:33:20,290 --> 00:33:21,090 Speaker 1: the save. 590 00:33:23,450 --> 00:33:24,930 Speaker 4: If we imagine, if we. 591 00:33:25,130 --> 00:33:33,930 Speaker 1: Too felt around for far too from things good Accident. 592 00:33:38,730 --> 00:33:41,810 Speaker 1: Heavyweight is hosted and produced by me Jonathan Goldstein along 593 00:33:41,810 --> 00:33:44,969 Speaker 1: with Chris Neary and Khalila Holt. The senior producer is 594 00:33:45,050 --> 00:33:49,170 Speaker 1: Wendy Dore, editing by Alex Bloomberg and Jorge Just special 595 00:33:49,170 --> 00:33:53,249 Speaker 1: thanks to Emily Condon, Stevie Lane, Derek Hurst, Stephen Hughes, 596 00:33:53,850 --> 00:33:57,690 Speaker 1: and The Good Doctor Jackie Cohen. The show is mixed 597 00:33:57,690 --> 00:34:01,410 Speaker 1: by Hailey Shaw, music by Christine Fellows. Additional music credits 598 00:34:01,450 --> 00:34:04,570 Speaker 1: for this episode can be found on our website Gimbletmedia 599 00:34:04,610 --> 00:34:08,330 Speaker 1: dot com slash Heavyweight. Our theme song is by the 600 00:34:08,330 --> 00:34:11,450 Speaker 1: Weaker Thands to See If Epitaph Records, and our ad 601 00:34:11,570 --> 00:34:14,370 Speaker 1: music is by Hailey Shaw. Follow us on Twitter at 602 00:34:14,370 --> 00:34:18,730 Speaker 1: Heavyweight or email us at Heavyweight at gimbletmedia dot com. 603 00:34:18,850 --> 00:34:20,450 Speaker 1: We'll have a new episode next week. 604 00:34:36,130 --> 00:34:38,450 Speaker 2: Well wait, I have an idea. I'm on the eighteenth hole. 605 00:34:38,930 --> 00:34:42,410 Speaker 2: I will literally collapse, like literally fake heart attack type shit. 606 00:34:42,650 --> 00:34:45,290 Speaker 3: Probably wouldn't work. What if we got a drone like 607 00:34:45,330 --> 00:34:48,290 Speaker 3: you know those little paradrones and put a bag in it, 608 00:34:48,770 --> 00:34:50,930 Speaker 3: punched a hole bag and flew the drone over. 609 00:34:51,330 --> 00:34:53,930 Speaker 1: You know how they say, with brainstorming, there's no bad ideas. 610 00:34:54,690 --> 00:34:55,730 Speaker 1: These are bad ideas.