Speaker 1: Piece of the planet.
Speaker 2: Y'allamagine the God here. And as we come closer to
Speaker 2: closing out this year, I just want to say thank
Speaker 2: you for tuning into the Black Effect Podcast Network. There
Speaker 2: have been so many great moments over the past year.
Speaker 2: Take a listen to some of those captivating moments in
Speaker 2: this special best of episode.
Speaker 3: Mallory and the Ship Boy my Son in general. We
Speaker 3: are your host of Tami.
Speaker 1: Tamika and my Son's Information, Truth, motivation and inspiration name.
Speaker 4: New Energy.
Speaker 1: Dope.
Speaker 3: All right, well, let's get into our guest, good conversation,
Speaker 3: lots to learn.
Speaker 4: Check it out. Our friends have joined us again too. Well.
Speaker 3: First of all, our sister Keisha ya coach Jesse has
Speaker 3: been with us a number of times, and so it's
Speaker 3: really good to have y'all on our show because y'all
Speaker 3: been doing everybody else's show to talk about you know,
Speaker 3: what has recently took uh what recently took place as
Speaker 3: a family that I think is incredible, beautiful, amazing, And
Speaker 3: I see.
Speaker 4: Keisha, Lakeisha, That's.
Speaker 3: How it has already just you know, helped you to
Speaker 3: walk into your advocacy, which I knew was going to
Speaker 3: happen for you at some point and it's beautiful to
Speaker 3: watch that. Now.
Speaker 4: So first of all, let me just introduce you all properly.
Speaker 3: Lakeisha Randolph is now a black She is the leader
Speaker 3: of the Black Fertility Matters community.
Speaker 4: Okay, let's get that straight.
Speaker 3: So I feel an organization on the way, something big
Speaker 3: buildings and a lot of things.
Speaker 4: I can see it in the future.
Speaker 3: And she Keisha has had to have IVF has also
Speaker 3: now an egg a donor. You are have received eggs.
Speaker 3: So I know Coach Jesse's gonna get all of this
Speaker 3: language clearness.
Speaker 5: It's okay, we all learning. I'm learning.
Speaker 4: I'm learning all the things.
Speaker 3: And then Coach Jesse health AFT activists and founder of
Speaker 3: the detox now but she's also our big sister that
Speaker 3: keeps us healthy, keeps us mentally stable.
Speaker 4: And we don't listen like we should, but we appreciate you.
Speaker 3: Coach Jesse, Love you all. Thank y'all so much for
Speaker 3: joining the show today. And I think it would be
Speaker 3: great for us to hear from you, Keisha about that story,
Speaker 3: what took place and how all these other incredible women
Speaker 3: got involved.
Speaker 5: Well, thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 6: Yes, I am Lakeisha Laurel or Latisha Randolph or Keisha.
Speaker 6: I am the founder of a support group called Black
Speaker 6: Fertility Matters. I wanted to start the support group for
Speaker 6: women who have been on the road and who have
Speaker 6: been dealing with infertility for as long as I have.
Speaker 6: I've been dealing with infertility for over twenty five year
Speaker 6: years I have. I've had two failed IVF cycles. I'm
Speaker 6: currently on the show Love and Hip Hop Atlanta season eleven,
Speaker 6: about to be season twelve, telling my story alongside of
Speaker 6: my sister Yandy Smith, who volunteer to donate her eggs
Speaker 6: to me.
Speaker 5: So I am I am.
Speaker 4: The receiver, she is the donor.
Speaker 5: Yandy Smith is the donor.
Speaker 6: I am receiving her eggs to conceive have my own child.
Speaker 6: So we're on our journey to motherhood. I wanted to
Speaker 6: provide a support group for women who may.
Speaker 5: Feel ashamed, guilty, depressed, anxiety, who go through an emotional
Speaker 5: roller coaster dealing with IVA and infertility soul. This is
Speaker 5: where my.
Speaker 6: Sister, alongside with my sister Yandy Smith, introduced me to
Speaker 6: Coach Jefse who is our health and wellness coach. I've
Speaker 6: also detoked with her many years ago, and Coach Jesse
Speaker 6: introduced me and ye Be who to our fertilities doctor,
Speaker 6: which is doctor Daniel Lane. Unfortunately she had to go,
Speaker 6: but she is an amazing fertilities that have been working
Speaker 6: with me and Yandy on our journey or my journey
Speaker 6: to motherhood.
Speaker 5: So that's a little bit about our story.
Speaker 6: We wanted to uh and Coach Jesse and doctor Lane
Speaker 6: wanted to also join the Black Fertility Matter to help educate,
Speaker 6: support and provide resources for the black and brown community.
Speaker 6: I just felt like I wanted to continue to tell
Speaker 6: my story.
Speaker 5: I didn't know where to start.
Speaker 6: I reached out to LaToya Bond, Yandy Smith, Coach Jessee,
Speaker 6: doctor Lane, and said, listen, I need to tell my
Speaker 6: story because it's not only gonna help me. It was
Speaker 6: a time where I couldn't even talk this much about
Speaker 6: my process what's happening without me crying. So now for
Speaker 6: me to be able to stand up here and say
Speaker 6: I'm providing a support room for myself and other women
Speaker 6: who are going down.
Speaker 5: This journey, it's amazing. It's amazing.
Speaker 6: I just thank you guys for telling my story and
Speaker 6: having Coach Jesse, doctor Lane, and Nandy Smith joining the
Speaker 6: Black Fertility Matters team.
Speaker 1: Well that's powerful. Well how long have you been trying
Speaker 1: to conceive a child.
Speaker 6: So I've been literally trying to conceive a child for
Speaker 6: over twenty five years. I've been dealing with fibroids and demetriosis,
Speaker 6: and then I went to a fertilities who you know.
Speaker 6: My gyn said, okay, you cannot conceive due to age.
Speaker 6: Once you're over forty, your egg count becomes low. And
Speaker 6: then because I have fibroids and in demetriosis makes my
Speaker 6: fertility even harder. So I've been dealing with infertility for
Speaker 6: over twenty five years, and now I know long that
Speaker 6: can conceive healthy embryos.
Speaker 3: Coach Jesse, you know our audience, our listeners are no
Speaker 3: stranger to your story. But I think in the context
Speaker 3: of what Lakeisha has been dealing with, it would be
Speaker 3: great to be reminded of your story and how you
Speaker 3: got into this work, and then if you could give
Speaker 3: us some insight on you know, what was the process,
Speaker 3: what was your planning process to support Lakisha?
Speaker 7: Yeah, you know, first of all, Lakeisha, she rat.
Speaker 8: She just My heart went out to her when I
Speaker 8: learned to her story because I battled in fertility that
Speaker 8: was paused by five roids.
Speaker 7: I battled bibras for thirteen years and infratility pause it's
Speaker 7: one news.
Speaker 8: And that first episode of what I called My Million
Speaker 8: Dollar Baby Journey, where I had by BYBX cycles, the
Speaker 8: in vitual fertilization cycles that Keisha was mentioning, and the
Speaker 8: first one I had miscarriage.
Speaker 7: Three failed IVF cycles after that, and even after we
Speaker 7: did conceive my daughter on the F cycle had major
Speaker 7: life threatening situations. Whatever even told.
Speaker 8: Me actually because of the terminating my intet twenty one
Speaker 8: running more weeks because in the journey I was either
Speaker 8: having fibrant turvey or ideas because the fibrides kept coming back,
Speaker 8: and here they were now back.
Speaker 7: And this literally in the Life of My.
Speaker 8: Baby where they said that red from a hostile environment
Speaker 8: at twenty Now, thank god my journey, even though my
Speaker 8: night stopped coming, nothing but follow on clear day, I.
Speaker 7: Do have my miracle baby.
Speaker 3: I guess in our last few shows, I don't know
Speaker 3: if we even notice it, but we've been talking about
Speaker 3: health a lot. I realize, especially with all this extra weight,
Speaker 3: that a lot of people act like they don't know.
Speaker 3: But I have a few friends, including my dear friend Peaches,
Speaker 3: that does not let me forget, because she will send
Speaker 3: me a picture of myself out somewhere in a minute
Speaker 3: and be like, you see this circling the fat in
Speaker 3: my cheeks, my name, and it's okay because I do.
Speaker 3: We do that for one another. It's not like she's
Speaker 3: trying to like disrespect me or anything or shame me,
Speaker 3: but she knows what I want to look like. And
Speaker 3: I realized that I didn't have to be in the
Speaker 3: situation that I'm in the backfat this and that all
Speaker 3: of these things happened to me because I thought that
Speaker 3: I could just still.
Speaker 4: I thought I was still thirty. I don't know what
Speaker 4: I thought, but it's not. It isn't so ill.
Speaker 3: And what I realized is working out by itself is
Speaker 3: not enough. Like you do have to actually take care
Speaker 3: of your inside. I never knew this whole theory of
Speaker 3: gut health.
Speaker 4: I never heard that before in my life.
Speaker 3: I knew your stomach, but then when I hear people
Speaker 3: talking about how much is happening in your gut, I'm like, Wow,
Speaker 3: there's so many concepts that I can tell you right now.
Speaker 4: My family members that live in.
Speaker 3: Alabama, North Carolina, no wherever we talking about no gut.
Speaker 4: Health like at all. We did these things.
Speaker 3: It was it was can you try that good piece
Speaker 3: of pork chop and tear it up? Now they don't
Speaker 3: live like that anymore because so many people have died
Speaker 3: from art disease and whatever, and over time people have
Speaker 3: become introduced to these things. But that wasn't the thing
Speaker 3: we were talking about today though. Today we get an
Speaker 3: opportunity to talk to doctor Robert Singleton, the second, who
Speaker 3: is an anesthesiology physician, and he also is very big
Speaker 3: on the internet talking about health, and you know, I
Speaker 3: don't know if enough of us, Like I was talking
Speaker 3: to someone recently and they were like, oh, certain things
Speaker 3: never show up on my page. It's also what you
Speaker 3: follow like and what you're interested in. And when I
Speaker 3: came across the algorithm, when I came across doctor Singleton,
Speaker 3: obviously we were introduced to him by LaToya Bonn and
Speaker 3: our team and they were like, hey, you got to
Speaker 3: check this guy out. It's some real robust discussion and
Speaker 3: rich discussion going on on his social media about health
Speaker 3: in general.
Speaker 4: And I'm grateful that.
Speaker 3: He's taken some time today Scrubs and all to come
Speaker 3: on and be a guest on TMI to talk about
Speaker 3: our health and help us get straight on like what
Speaker 3: we posed to be doing to get health in our community.
Speaker 1: Wes how you doing, doctor, and how you doing today?
Speaker 9: I'm doing great, great, glad to be here, and I'm
Speaker 9: glad that we're talking about health because it's so important.
Speaker 9: Like you said, there's so many different health conditions that
Speaker 9: affect us as black people disproportionately, and so it's important
Speaker 9: that we have conversations like this to help ourselves, to
Speaker 9: help our communities.
Speaker 4: Absolutely.
Speaker 9: Let me.
Speaker 3: Let me give a few points about how legendary you are.
Speaker 3: You are a board certified anesthesiologist in Chicago.
Speaker 4: You went to Howard University.
Speaker 3: We have Howard University nutcases that follow us that they
Speaker 3: don't pull, they do not play about the ahu you know. Okay,
Speaker 3: but you are a medical school grad from Howard and
Speaker 3: then also the ambassador for the Anesthesia Patient Safety Foundation.
Speaker 3: This is a very very serious topic for me, and
Speaker 3: I'll tell you why in the second. And since completing
Speaker 3: your anesthesiology training in twenty sixteen, you've been committed to
Speaker 3: serve it as an advocate for patients and their families,
Speaker 3: practicing evidence based medicine and insurance patience safety. And I'll
Speaker 3: tell you why this topic is so sensitive for me
Speaker 3: around anesthesiology. My mother in twenty twenty, prior to twenty
Speaker 3: twenty March of twenty twenty, she had been told she
Speaker 3: has an issue with her esophagus where it closes and
Speaker 3: she has.
Speaker 4: To have it stretched, maybe years or so.
Speaker 3: So this is something that we believe pretty much know
Speaker 3: that it became her new reality after working at near
Speaker 3: right next door to the World Trade Center during nine eleven.
Speaker 3: So my mom, you know, she was there and the
Speaker 3: fumes and whatnot, and then her esophagus changed as a
Speaker 3: result of the pollution that so many people down there
Speaker 3: faced and what have you. She lived, thank god, but
Speaker 3: she did start to struggle with this thing.
Speaker 4: The last time that she.
Speaker 3: Was getting before this twenty twenty incident, the last time
Speaker 3: she was getting her esophagus stretched, the doctor told her
Speaker 3: that they did not like the way that she responded
Speaker 3: to the anesthesia. They said that when it was time
Speaker 3: for her to wake up, she was having a major difficulty.
Speaker 3: They did not like the way she rebounded, and they
Speaker 3: felt uncomfortable about it. However, with my mother, her situation
Speaker 3: is either you get the stretching or go into complete
Speaker 3: liquid dye, and even then she can choke and die.
Speaker 3: So she doesn't have a lot of options, right, So
Speaker 3: they did the surgery in March of twenty twenty, and
Speaker 3: sure enough, my mother had a stroke and lost the
Speaker 3: ability on her left side. My mother was a dance
Speaker 3: instructor for a number of dance classes in her community.
Speaker 4: You cannot be her in my line on the dance.
Speaker 1: You got vible videos.
Speaker 3: And every eighty million people watching her videos of her
Speaker 3: line dance instructing and all of that.
Speaker 4: And now she's in a wheelchair.
Speaker 3: She moves around a lot better, you know, over to
Speaker 3: time things have gotten better, but she does not have
Speaker 3: the ability to do much with her left side and
Speaker 3: she needs twenty four hour care.
Speaker 4: So anesthesia is.
Speaker 3: A big topic of a place of pain for us
Speaker 3: when we even start talking about it, And ironically it
Speaker 3: is coming up on the timel she's beginning to choke
Speaker 3: again because in twenty twenty, once they did get through
Speaker 3: the surgery, she's starting to have the same issues again,
Speaker 3: and here were people.
Speaker 4: Having to try to figure out what to do.
Speaker 3: So, just for the personal reference, this topic is you
Speaker 3: know you and what you do is very sensitive to me.
Speaker 3: But again, thank you so much for joining us, and
Speaker 3: we just want to hear on sure how you got
Speaker 3: into this in the first place.
Speaker 9: Yeah, so, I've always wanted to be a doctor. I
Speaker 9: just didn't know what type. I really liked surgery, but
Speaker 9: anesthesia is one of those fields that doesn't get a
Speaker 9: lot of exposure or it's not as known as the
Speaker 9: other fields. Everybody knows about pediatricians and cardiologists, but anesthesia
Speaker 9: is a really behind the scenes type of medicine and
Speaker 9: for most of the time you don't really you know,
Speaker 9: see or hear much about anesthesia because for most of
Speaker 9: the procedures that we do, everything goes smoothly. But we
Speaker 9: do have those in instances where there are emergencies, where
Speaker 9: there are traumas, where there are you know, incidences of
Speaker 9: cardiovasculic collapse, difficulty breathing, or we have to step in,
Speaker 9: and those are very critical moments where every moment matters.
Speaker 9: We saw that a lot with COVID and just even today,
Speaker 9: you know, it's essential that patients have anesthesia doctors to
Speaker 9: make sure that their procedures are safe. And so I
Speaker 9: gravitated towards anesthesia. I've been doing this practicing independently since
Speaker 9: twenty sixteen. Absolutely love it. I can't see myself. I
Speaker 9: could not see myself doing any other any other job.
Speaker 1: That's amazing. I just I would like to know, like
Speaker 1: being an anesthe geologist, being in the field of medicine,
Speaker 1: what do you think are the biggest things that affect
Speaker 1: Black people that you can think of?
Speaker 9: Yeah, so we have, like I said earlier, a lot
Speaker 9: of unique diseases and a lot of issues that affect
Speaker 9: does disproportionately. One big one and today's the last day
Speaker 9: of heart health minds, But one big one is as
Speaker 9: far as cardiovascular disease, our people are between thirty and
Speaker 9: fifty four percent more likely to die of a cardiovascular
Speaker 9: disease compared to our non Hispanic white counterparts. We die
Speaker 9: of heart attacks more, we have higher rates of obesity,
Speaker 9: higher rates of diabetes, and there's a lot of different
Speaker 9: reasons for that. But it's important that we have conversations
Speaker 9: like this, we spread reliable health information and take some
Speaker 9: steps to reverse that.
Speaker 3: Tell me the connection, because you know we can dispel
Speaker 3: the myth right now. You're anesthesiologists, people are like you
Speaker 3: just put the needle in on and knock me out,
Speaker 3: Like what do what is your role or how do
Speaker 3: you even know about all these other medical things because
Speaker 3: people would think that that's not your area.
Speaker 9: Yeah, so that's a good question. You know, We as
Speaker 9: anesthesia doctors are periodical positions, and so whenever a patient
Speaker 9: is before me, I have to make sure that they're
Speaker 9: optimized respiratory wise, cardiovascular wise, that all their organ systems
Speaker 9: are are ready to undergo the stress of surgery and anesthesia,
Speaker 9: and so I have to I have to manage diabetes.
Speaker 9: I have to tailor each anesthetic to each patient because
Speaker 9: it is not a one size fits all thing. I
Speaker 9: desire and tailor my anesthetic to each patient's need. And
Speaker 9: the biggest thing, you know, if there's there's no surgery
Speaker 9: without anesthesia, and so we it's essential that we're there
Speaker 9: to make sure that patients are are still, that they
Speaker 9: don't have pain and they can go through having a
Speaker 9: surgical procedure.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm. So I asked you about you know, what
Speaker 1: are the things that affect us? What do you think
Speaker 1: causes those things? It is our personal lifestyle choices. Is
Speaker 1: it that we're forced to eat certain foods and what
Speaker 1: do you think are the biggest things that causes those
Speaker 1: situations that we have.
Speaker 9: You know, that's it's it's multi factorial. There's a lot
Speaker 9: of different things. Uh. Some of it is cultural, you know,
Speaker 9: the kind of foods that we gravitate towards as a culture.
Speaker 9: A lot of us don't have health clubs and our
Speaker 9: neighborhood we don't have neighborhoods that are safe enough, safe
Speaker 9: enough for us to go on walks and jogs. Uh,
Speaker 9: many of our people living uh, food deserts where you
Speaker 9: don't have access to whole foods or you know, organic
Speaker 9: healthy produce that's at a reasonable price. And so there's
Speaker 9: things that you know, within our society are keeping us
Speaker 9: from being healthy and also just lack of information that's
Speaker 9: keeping us from changing our habits in the way that
Speaker 9: we live.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's environ mental racism is what we call it.
Speaker 3: And you know, and I mean and food desert's a
Speaker 3: real thing. When we first arrived in Louisville, Kentucky, where
Speaker 3: we were fighting for Breonna Taylor, we lived there for
Speaker 3: three months. During that time, we learned how the people
Speaker 3: were suffering, Like one supermarket in the entire area where
Speaker 3: all these hundreds of thousands of people lived one supermarket
Speaker 3: did not.
Speaker 4: I went in there one time. The fruit was terrible.
Speaker 3: It wasn't even a good supermarket, right, And so we
Speaker 3: found out that we had to, you know, start bringing
Speaker 3: fresh produce just to deliver to the community to even
Speaker 3: have a conversation. And it's so important for people to
Speaker 3: understand that between our activism, your work as a doctor,
Speaker 3: it all connects, because you can't even have a conversation
Speaker 3: with somebody about fighting for Breonna Taylor while they're hungry.
Speaker 3: It's like, you know, hey, I hear you terrible what
Speaker 3: happened to that system? I'm hungry, but I'm hungry and
Speaker 3: maybe after you feed me then I can meet you
Speaker 3: on the battlefield. So I hear you, you know talking
Speaker 3: about Well, first of all, tell us the conditions.
Speaker 4: You said, it's.
Speaker 3: Heart Health Month, and I know that applies to all
Speaker 3: of us as black people and other races. But what
Speaker 3: would you say at the top two issues?
Speaker 4: Maybe there's more for men and women that are.
Speaker 3: Avoidable, like things that you know, if we just don't
Speaker 3: do this, more than likely we will not have these issues.
Speaker 9: Yeah, So there's there's three major issues, and I mean
Speaker 9: like you said, there's a lot of issues that we
Speaker 9: could talk about, including high cholesterol all and but the
Speaker 9: big three would have to be obesity, high blood pressure,
Speaker 9: and diabetes. City high blood pressure and diabetes. Those are
Speaker 9: three issues that affect us as black people more and
Speaker 9: for the most part, they are somewhat reversible, treatable, preventable
Speaker 9: if we are if we just do some common sense
Speaker 9: things to improve them and educate ourselves.
Speaker 3: You know, my thought of the day today is around
Speaker 3: this idea of sobriety. You know, I am really I
Speaker 3: don't know if I want to say proud of me,
Speaker 3: because I don't even know. I don't I really don't
Speaker 3: have all of the lexicon. I'm literally developing it. Five
Speaker 3: years later, I'm writing my first real speech about my
Speaker 3: process to get sober and what I went through and
Speaker 3: how I initially got addicted and what was at one
Speaker 3: point something that I didn't even know was a part
Speaker 3: of addiction. And I had no idea the first time
Speaker 3: I swallowed a pill that it was a part of
Speaker 3: an addiction thing. And I certainly didn't understand the political
Speaker 3: nature of addiction and that there's actual forces working towards
Speaker 3: like I didn't think any of that. I didn't know
Speaker 3: there was a story and a situation out there in
Speaker 3: the world that can explain why we're addicted to these pills.
Speaker 4: So I didn't know. I didn't know so many other
Speaker 4: people was on it.
Speaker 3: But now that I'm more educated and now that I'm
Speaker 3: more confident, right now that I've been able to kick
Speaker 3: shame and the ass about this particular issue and other
Speaker 3: things like you know what I'm saying. One thing i
Speaker 3: will say is one of the things that I'm beginning
Speaker 3: to realize that certain parts of my story I'm not
Speaker 3: able to tell because other people's lives will be impacted.
Speaker 3: And I'm talking about things from childhood all the way
Speaker 3: to now. You don't tell or you don't want to
Speaker 3: disrespect or embarrass other people, even your family members and
Speaker 3: your friends. You want to be mindful, and it's very
Speaker 3: important that when we start talking about telling our stories,
Speaker 3: which people are entitled to, that that we're very careful
Speaker 3: to know that your time is not everybody else's time.
Speaker 3: And because I have compassion for that, I'm careful and mindful.
Speaker 3: But there's lots of components of my life that there
Speaker 3: are people in the world who believe because they know
Speaker 3: that I did something, or I was a place, you know,
Speaker 3: a strip club, slept with this guy, did this thing
Speaker 3: or whatever.
Speaker 4: They believe that they're.
Speaker 3: Holding something that will just tear me to shreds. And
Speaker 3: of course, when the truth about your life and things
Speaker 3: come out, it can hurt you to hear people's opinions
Speaker 3: and to lose opportunities, or to have people don't trust
Speaker 3: you or don't believe you or don't believe in you,
Speaker 3: of course, but I've come to know that ripping the
Speaker 3: band aid off of situations, problems, issues that you've been
Speaker 3: through can oftentimes provide you with freedom, freedom to walk
Speaker 3: forward and deal with whatever it is and kick it
Speaker 3: up under your feet. Right, so, I have disassociated myself
Speaker 3: with the shame of my story around addiction.
Speaker 4: I don't have it anymore. I've thrown it out.
Speaker 3: It's taking years to get there, but I think five
Speaker 3: years of sobriety is a time when you could actually
Speaker 3: tell the full story and not worry about who feel
Speaker 3: Who know, who was there, who saw you when you
Speaker 3: was nodding out, who to help you get the drugs,
Speaker 3: who didn't, who did this?
Speaker 4: Who?
Speaker 3: It doesn't matter because now the work that's on me
Speaker 3: is bigger than me. I have found that disassociating yourself
Speaker 3: from all of this shame and guilt that holds us
Speaker 3: down might just be the thing that we need to
Speaker 3: get free and to have the space to do things.
Speaker 4: Right going forward.
Speaker 1: Sounds like you have been in deep contemplation and you
Speaker 1: have really come to terms with you. You know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: just being just understanding who you are, what you are,
Speaker 1: and just freeing yourself from all the things that bind you.
Speaker 4: And my TMI today is we as women.
Speaker 3: And I saw a man Decillo's, talking on her Small
Speaker 3: Doses podcast about being too much right. We as women
Speaker 3: we do, you know, we talk when we want to.
Speaker 3: I never forget getting a call from someone very close
Speaker 3: to me who said, oh, you know, women just all
Speaker 3: day y'all just don't ever stop telling and doing and directing.
Speaker 3: But I feel like men don't, really, they say, because
Speaker 3: I've been told by a number of men, you gotta
Speaker 3: say it the right way.
Speaker 4: You can't just always have an attitude.
Speaker 3: You need to stop being so this and that, and
Speaker 3: you know, and and and nagging, and you have to
Speaker 3: nurture the right way, and you need to you know,
Speaker 3: have a certain type of positivity, and this and that,
Speaker 3: and you could get a man to do anything just
Speaker 3: your energy. I have found you could say it nice,
Speaker 3: you could say it nasty, and the same result that
Speaker 3: most men do not want to be corrected and or
Speaker 3: just suggested of a new or better way to do things.
Speaker 4: Period.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's true. I really I think that
Speaker 1: delivery is everything. Right. Because you say it nasty, that's
Speaker 1: not true. It's not nasty or nice, right. It's the
Speaker 1: time you say it, is when you say it, it's
Speaker 1: how you say it. All those things come if you're
Speaker 1: correct if a man. If a man is in the
Speaker 1: middle of a speech and he's giving it, and he's
Speaker 1: talking around people who are listening to him, and he's
Speaker 1: and he's saying something, you stopping, I don't say it
Speaker 1: that way. Don't say it that way.
Speaker 4: Say it this when you smile.
Speaker 1: And you stop and you say it. Don't say this
Speaker 1: when you smile. You think that you're saying it nice. Right.
Speaker 1: What you just did is correct him in front of
Speaker 1: people that think he knows what he's talking. Right. So
Speaker 1: what you did is you just you lowered a little
Speaker 1: bit of his his his status in front of people, right,
Speaker 1: you didn't whisper behind his back and say yo, if
Speaker 1: you got a man and you would a man and
Speaker 1: you saying and something he did something on you? Rub
Speaker 1: his back, babe, you know what you should have did.
Speaker 1: I loved what you did. But imagine if.
Speaker 4: You gotta line right, so you gotta lie.
Speaker 1: Because it's like but it's still a man has an ego.
Speaker 1: Everyone has an ego. You dealing with a man with
Speaker 1: an ego, and if you don't care about the man's ego,
Speaker 1: then fuck it. You can say what you want, but
Speaker 1: if you want to get the best response from a man,
Speaker 1: then you have to fill out how do I work
Speaker 1: with this individual?
Speaker 2: Once again, thank you for tuning into the Blackfat Podcast Network.
Speaker 2: See you in twenty twenty five for more great moments
Speaker 2: from your favorite podcast