WEBVTT - Flagging Parents for Parental Interference

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, everybody, it's Bill Courtney and this is shop Talk

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<v Speaker 1>number eleven, Number eleven, Alex, I'm not even going to

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<v Speaker 1>say I can't believe we already it on eleven, because

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<v Speaker 1>you're gonna give me a crap Shop Talk number eleven.

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<v Speaker 1>As everybody knows, I've coached a lot, right thirty one

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<v Speaker 1>years of football, but what you may not know is

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<v Speaker 1>I've also coached soccer, swimming, baseball, a lot of basketball,

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of basketball. But in football, there's a play

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<v Speaker 1>that pretty much everybody knows. It's called interference. It's when

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<v Speaker 1>a defensive back er, linebacker hits a receiver prior to

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<v Speaker 1>the ball arriving and flag of stone. It's fifteen yard penalty.

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<v Speaker 1>It's one of the larger penalties you can get in

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<v Speaker 1>the game of football. Interference is a problem and you

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<v Speaker 1>get penalized for it, and sometimes it can change the

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<v Speaker 1>outcome of the game. So on chat Talk number eleven today,

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<v Speaker 1>we're going to talk about an infraction that can change

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<v Speaker 1>the game, and it's called parental interference. That's coming up,

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<v Speaker 1>But first a few messages from our general sponsors, and

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<v Speaker 1>with Russell Butler in Memphis on Saturday, July twentieth. I

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<v Speaker 1>hope some of you will join us. We'll be right back, Okay, everybody,

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<v Speaker 1>friendal interference? What the world am I talking about? I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know. It was a couple of weeks ago. I

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<v Speaker 1>can't even Alex, who was the conversation with? Do you remember?

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<v Speaker 1>It was? Uh? Robert? Was it right now? It wasn't?

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<v Speaker 1>It was a listener. A listener that's that's right. A

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<v Speaker 1>couple of weeks ago, a listener out of the blue

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<v Speaker 1>just said, you know, at the end, I say, if

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<v Speaker 1>you've got any thoughts or want to talk about it,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's so I get an email and Jim Lamb,

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<v Speaker 1>if you're out there, Jim, this is a shout out

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<v Speaker 1>to you. Here's what he said. Love your podcast, including

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<v Speaker 1>Shop Talk. I would really like to hear your thoughts

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<v Speaker 1>on the world of travel youth sports. Here in Missouri

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<v Speaker 1>we also refer to them as club sports. It seems

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<v Speaker 1>like so many parents are spending so much money on

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<v Speaker 1>club fees, uniforms, equipment, travel cost, hotels, airfare, gas. I

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<v Speaker 1>think their kid's going to be the next superstar, or

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<v Speaker 1>we'll get that full ride scholarship or be a pro. Yet,

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<v Speaker 1>in reality, the club team had so many people try

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<v Speaker 1>out for their Level four team, they just added a

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<v Speaker 1>fifth team and collected more money. I think these kids

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<v Speaker 1>spend too much time playing one sport year round and

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<v Speaker 1>show experienced different sports and different experiences. Bill. What say

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<v Speaker 1>you from Jim Lamb in Saint Louis, Missouri. So you

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<v Speaker 1>asked and the shop talks for you. Jim parental interference. Guys.

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<v Speaker 1>I've had four kids. They've all played every sport imaginable,

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<v Speaker 1>and I've coached all of them, and I lettered in

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<v Speaker 1>six sports in high school. The greatest memories I have

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<v Speaker 1>as a kid playing sports was that every season brought

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<v Speaker 1>something new. And the greatest experience I had as a

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<v Speaker 1>parent is that every season brought something new for my

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<v Speaker 1>kids to do. And the muscle memory and the lessons

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<v Speaker 1>you learn playing soccer are completely different than the muscle

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<v Speaker 1>memory and the lessons you learned playing baseball or softball,

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<v Speaker 1>which are completely different from the muscle memory and the

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<v Speaker 1>lessons you learn playing basketball. And because each sport comes

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<v Speaker 1>with a different coach, the life lessons you learn and

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<v Speaker 1>the perspective you get changes with every team that you're

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<v Speaker 1>on because your teammates are different and your coach is different,

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<v Speaker 1>And that really broad wide cross section of lessons for

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<v Speaker 1>both your body and for you socially, I think is

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<v Speaker 1>paramount to your growth. I've had one kid get invited

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<v Speaker 1>to try out for the United States Junior Olympic soccer team,

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<v Speaker 1>and other kids get invited to play on you know,

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<v Speaker 1>high high level quote travel teams, and we always declined

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<v Speaker 1>and the reason we declined is we wanted our kids

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<v Speaker 1>to have that odd look at sports and that broad

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<v Speaker 1>experience of being mentored by different coaches with different perspectives,

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<v Speaker 1>different ideas, and different lessons. So, Jim, I couldn't agree

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<v Speaker 1>with you more. When we pennedhole kids into one sport

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<v Speaker 1>and we spend umpteen thousands of dollars on private lessons

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<v Speaker 1>for that one sport, and then the travel club teams

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<v Speaker 1>for that one sport, and we shove that kid into

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<v Speaker 1>all your long one sport, I think we rob our

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<v Speaker 1>kids of growth. And further, I think it becomes more

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<v Speaker 1>of a job to the kid oftentimes than it is fun.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a fifteen yard penalty for parental interference. Let your

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<v Speaker 1>kids learn, let your kids grow, Let them be part

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<v Speaker 1>of varied experiences. Don't pigeonhole them. Here's the truth. Ninety

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<v Speaker 1>nine point seven one percent of the kids in all

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<v Speaker 1>ages playing U sports today from first grade through their

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<v Speaker 1>senior in high school, ninety nine point seven percent of

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<v Speaker 1>them will never make one dollar playing any sport. That

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<v Speaker 1>means that ninety nine point seven percent of the kids

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<v Speaker 1>playing U sports today all the way through high school

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<v Speaker 1>are going to have to make a living doing something

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<v Speaker 1>other than playing a sport, and the lessons they learn

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<v Speaker 1>in a broad world are going to serve them far

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<v Speaker 1>better than if they're pigeonholed and tracked in one sport.

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<v Speaker 1>The other thing that happens in these worlds that I see,

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<v Speaker 1>obviously it's helicopter parenting, and that's revolting. We need to

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<v Speaker 1>let our kids skin their knees. We need to let

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<v Speaker 1>our kids fail, and we need to let our kids

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<v Speaker 1>be put on the bench. That may be one of

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<v Speaker 1>the greatest lessons of life is what do you have

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<v Speaker 1>to do to get yourself off the bench? And that's

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<v Speaker 1>improved and work hard and learn. And it can't be

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<v Speaker 1>going to the coach every time our kid gets benched

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<v Speaker 1>because it hurts our feelings. Let your kids' feelings get hurt,

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<v Speaker 1>Let them skin their knees, let them learn life lessons

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<v Speaker 1>that these things are supposed to teach in the first place,

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<v Speaker 1>that will last long after the days of kicking the

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<v Speaker 1>ball or hitting the ball, or swinging the bat or

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<v Speaker 1>making the tackle or whatever are gone. The other thing is,

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<v Speaker 1>please don't live vicariously through your children's sports endeavors. Nobody

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<v Speaker 1>wants to hear about a high school hero. Whatever you

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<v Speaker 1>did in high school, don't try to relive it for

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<v Speaker 1>their kids. Or whatever you didn't accomplish in high school

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<v Speaker 1>and wish you had, don't try to achieve that dream

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<v Speaker 1>later in life through your kids. It's gross. Everybody sees it,

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<v Speaker 1>but most importantly, kid feels it puts undue pressure on them,

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<v Speaker 1>takes the fun of the game away from them, takes

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<v Speaker 1>the learning away, and it will make them resent both

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<v Speaker 1>the sport and you. That happens thirty one years of coaching.

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<v Speaker 1>I've seen it all. I've seen great parents, I've seen

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<v Speaker 1>terrible parents. I've seen helicopter parents. I've seen seen vicarious

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<v Speaker 1>living parents. I've seen it all. It runs the gamut.

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<v Speaker 1>Our children need a broad spectrum of lessons, and that

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<v Speaker 1>comes with allowing them to be involved in a broad

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<v Speaker 1>spectrum of stuff the arts, theater, music, lessons, certainly, sports,

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<v Speaker 1>student government, all of the things that are available to

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<v Speaker 1>them to help them grow and to help them learn

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<v Speaker 1>lessons from a varied, diverse group of teachers and mentors.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't have parental interference. Don't don't take away the opportunity

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<v Speaker 1>for your kids to catch those lessons by tackling them

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<v Speaker 1>before the ball, before those lessons are even able to

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<v Speaker 1>reach them. I do think that most parents involved in

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<v Speaker 1>all of this stuff are well intentioned and do just

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<v Speaker 1>want want the best for their kids. But oftentimes our

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<v Speaker 1>desire for our kids manifest themselves in a way they

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<v Speaker 1>didn't healthy. Let your kids do what they want to do.

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<v Speaker 1>Let your kids get involved in all kinds of different things.

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<v Speaker 1>Support those endeavors, let them fail, let them skin their knees,

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<v Speaker 1>let them be benched, let them be second fiddle. And

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<v Speaker 1>where you come in as a parent is you work

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<v Speaker 1>with them and teach them how to get off the bench,

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<v Speaker 1>how not to fall the next time, Teach them how

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<v Speaker 1>to compete, teach them how to how to be a

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<v Speaker 1>good teammate, teach them how to come back from failing,

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<v Speaker 1>and then teach them how to rejoice in the successes

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<v Speaker 1>of improvement. Don't be a printal interferer, So Jim from

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<v Speaker 1>Saint Louis, that's what I think about what you said.

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<v Speaker 1>I appreciate the question, and I hope I hope shop

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<v Speaker 1>Talk has answered at least by perspective on your question.

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<v Speaker 1>That's shop Talk number eleven. Everybody. I'm Bill Courtney, don't

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<v Speaker 1>be a printal Interferer. I'll see you next week.