1 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:08,000 Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, it's Bill Courtney and this is shop Talk 2 00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:11,879 Speaker 1: number eleven, Number eleven, Alex, I'm not even going to 3 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:13,760 Speaker 1: say I can't believe we already it on eleven, because 4 00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:17,920 Speaker 1: you're gonna give me a crap Shop Talk number eleven. 5 00:00:18,079 --> 00:00:21,600 Speaker 1: As everybody knows, I've coached a lot, right thirty one 6 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:23,680 Speaker 1: years of football, but what you may not know is 7 00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:31,880 Speaker 1: I've also coached soccer, swimming, baseball, a lot of basketball, 8 00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:36,600 Speaker 1: a lot of basketball. But in football, there's a play 9 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:40,320 Speaker 1: that pretty much everybody knows. It's called interference. It's when 10 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:44,879 Speaker 1: a defensive back er, linebacker hits a receiver prior to 11 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:49,040 Speaker 1: the ball arriving and flag of stone. It's fifteen yard penalty. 12 00:00:49,479 --> 00:00:51,519 Speaker 1: It's one of the larger penalties you can get in 13 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:55,040 Speaker 1: the game of football. Interference is a problem and you 14 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:59,320 Speaker 1: get penalized for it, and sometimes it can change the 15 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:02,880 Speaker 1: outcome of the game. So on chat Talk number eleven today, 16 00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:06,440 Speaker 1: we're going to talk about an infraction that can change 17 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:11,959 Speaker 1: the game, and it's called parental interference. That's coming up, 18 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:16,920 Speaker 1: But first a few messages from our general sponsors, and 19 00:01:16,959 --> 00:01:19,080 Speaker 1: I want you to know I'm excited to announce that 20 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:23,920 Speaker 1: we're hosting a live interview in Memphis on Saturday, July twentieth, 21 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:26,240 Speaker 1: and I'd love for you to join us. It's with 22 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:30,800 Speaker 1: Russell Butler, best known as You're Ready for This, That 23 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:37,000 Speaker 1: Dancing ups Man. 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I 33 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:41,359 Speaker 1: hope some of you will join us. We'll be right back, Okay, everybody, 34 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:46,280 Speaker 1: friendal interference? What the world am I talking about? I 35 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,120 Speaker 1: don't know. It was a couple of weeks ago. I 36 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:51,840 Speaker 1: can't even Alex, who was the conversation with? Do you remember? 37 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:55,959 Speaker 1: It was? Uh? Robert? Was it right now? It wasn't? 38 00:02:56,440 --> 00:03:01,760 Speaker 1: It was a listener. A listener that's that's right. A 39 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:05,320 Speaker 1: couple of weeks ago, a listener out of the blue 40 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:08,639 Speaker 1: just said, you know, at the end, I say, if 41 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:11,000 Speaker 1: you've got any thoughts or want to talk about it, 42 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:16,720 Speaker 1: and it's so I get an email and Jim Lamb, 43 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:19,119 Speaker 1: if you're out there, Jim, this is a shout out 44 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:23,440 Speaker 1: to you. Here's what he said. Love your podcast, including 45 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:27,120 Speaker 1: Shop Talk. I would really like to hear your thoughts 46 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:31,280 Speaker 1: on the world of travel youth sports. Here in Missouri 47 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:34,400 Speaker 1: we also refer to them as club sports. It seems 48 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:37,360 Speaker 1: like so many parents are spending so much money on 49 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:42,160 Speaker 1: club fees, uniforms, equipment, travel cost, hotels, airfare, gas. I 50 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:45,080 Speaker 1: think their kid's going to be the next superstar, or 51 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:48,320 Speaker 1: we'll get that full ride scholarship or be a pro. Yet, 52 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:51,280 Speaker 1: in reality, the club team had so many people try 53 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:53,480 Speaker 1: out for their Level four team, they just added a 54 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 1: fifth team and collected more money. I think these kids 55 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,280 Speaker 1: spend too much time playing one sport year round and 56 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:04,440 Speaker 1: show experienced different sports and different experiences. Bill. What say 57 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:09,160 Speaker 1: you from Jim Lamb in Saint Louis, Missouri. So you 58 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:16,560 Speaker 1: asked and the shop talks for you. Jim parental interference. Guys. 59 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:20,400 Speaker 1: I've had four kids. They've all played every sport imaginable, 60 00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:26,200 Speaker 1: and I've coached all of them, and I lettered in 61 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:32,440 Speaker 1: six sports in high school. The greatest memories I have 62 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:36,280 Speaker 1: as a kid playing sports was that every season brought 63 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:39,200 Speaker 1: something new. And the greatest experience I had as a 64 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:43,919 Speaker 1: parent is that every season brought something new for my 65 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:48,520 Speaker 1: kids to do. And the muscle memory and the lessons 66 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:53,800 Speaker 1: you learn playing soccer are completely different than the muscle 67 00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:56,840 Speaker 1: memory and the lessons you learned playing baseball or softball, 68 00:04:57,400 --> 00:05:00,160 Speaker 1: which are completely different from the muscle memory and the 69 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:04,919 Speaker 1: lessons you learn playing basketball. And because each sport comes 70 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:09,000 Speaker 1: with a different coach, the life lessons you learn and 71 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:14,200 Speaker 1: the perspective you get changes with every team that you're 72 00:05:14,279 --> 00:05:16,880 Speaker 1: on because your teammates are different and your coach is different, 73 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:24,960 Speaker 1: And that really broad wide cross section of lessons for 74 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:29,880 Speaker 1: both your body and for you socially, I think is 75 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:38,200 Speaker 1: paramount to your growth. I've had one kid get invited 76 00:05:38,279 --> 00:05:41,839 Speaker 1: to try out for the United States Junior Olympic soccer team, 77 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:47,960 Speaker 1: and other kids get invited to play on you know, 78 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:53,400 Speaker 1: high high level quote travel teams, and we always declined 79 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,880 Speaker 1: and the reason we declined is we wanted our kids 80 00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:04,560 Speaker 1: to have that odd look at sports and that broad 81 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:08,760 Speaker 1: experience of being mentored by different coaches with different perspectives, 82 00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:13,840 Speaker 1: different ideas, and different lessons. So, Jim, I couldn't agree 83 00:06:13,839 --> 00:06:19,440 Speaker 1: with you more. When we pennedhole kids into one sport 84 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:24,640 Speaker 1: and we spend umpteen thousands of dollars on private lessons 85 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:27,279 Speaker 1: for that one sport, and then the travel club teams 86 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:30,440 Speaker 1: for that one sport, and we shove that kid into 87 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:34,200 Speaker 1: all your long one sport, I think we rob our 88 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:39,440 Speaker 1: kids of growth. And further, I think it becomes more 89 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,599 Speaker 1: of a job to the kid oftentimes than it is fun. 90 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:49,080 Speaker 1: It's a fifteen yard penalty for parental interference. Let your 91 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:53,200 Speaker 1: kids learn, let your kids grow, Let them be part 92 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:58,800 Speaker 1: of varied experiences. Don't pigeonhole them. Here's the truth. Ninety 93 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:02,640 Speaker 1: nine point seven one percent of the kids in all 94 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:07,200 Speaker 1: ages playing U sports today from first grade through their 95 00:07:07,279 --> 00:07:09,920 Speaker 1: senior in high school, ninety nine point seven percent of 96 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:15,280 Speaker 1: them will never make one dollar playing any sport. That 97 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:18,200 Speaker 1: means that ninety nine point seven percent of the kids 98 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,600 Speaker 1: playing U sports today all the way through high school 99 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:23,800 Speaker 1: are going to have to make a living doing something 100 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:27,880 Speaker 1: other than playing a sport, and the lessons they learn 101 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 1: in a broad world are going to serve them far 102 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:36,760 Speaker 1: better than if they're pigeonholed and tracked in one sport. 103 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:43,640 Speaker 1: The other thing that happens in these worlds that I see, 104 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:49,120 Speaker 1: obviously it's helicopter parenting, and that's revolting. We need to 105 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,000 Speaker 1: let our kids skin their knees. We need to let 106 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:55,080 Speaker 1: our kids fail, and we need to let our kids 107 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:58,160 Speaker 1: be put on the bench. That may be one of 108 00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:02,080 Speaker 1: the greatest lessons of life is what do you have 109 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:04,760 Speaker 1: to do to get yourself off the bench? And that's 110 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:09,720 Speaker 1: improved and work hard and learn. And it can't be 111 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:12,360 Speaker 1: going to the coach every time our kid gets benched 112 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:16,600 Speaker 1: because it hurts our feelings. Let your kids' feelings get hurt, 113 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:20,120 Speaker 1: Let them skin their knees, let them learn life lessons 114 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:22,560 Speaker 1: that these things are supposed to teach in the first place, 115 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:26,600 Speaker 1: that will last long after the days of kicking the 116 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,160 Speaker 1: ball or hitting the ball, or swinging the bat or 117 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:35,320 Speaker 1: making the tackle or whatever are gone. The other thing is, 118 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:41,840 Speaker 1: please don't live vicariously through your children's sports endeavors. Nobody 119 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:45,200 Speaker 1: wants to hear about a high school hero. Whatever you 120 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:47,480 Speaker 1: did in high school, don't try to relive it for 121 00:08:47,559 --> 00:08:50,959 Speaker 1: their kids. Or whatever you didn't accomplish in high school 122 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:55,240 Speaker 1: and wish you had, don't try to achieve that dream 123 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:59,720 Speaker 1: later in life through your kids. It's gross. Everybody sees it, 124 00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:04,160 Speaker 1: but most importantly, kid feels it puts undue pressure on them, 125 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:07,320 Speaker 1: takes the fun of the game away from them, takes 126 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:10,160 Speaker 1: the learning away, and it will make them resent both 127 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:15,440 Speaker 1: the sport and you. That happens thirty one years of coaching. 128 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:18,320 Speaker 1: I've seen it all. I've seen great parents, I've seen 129 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:23,679 Speaker 1: terrible parents. I've seen helicopter parents. I've seen seen vicarious 130 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:30,120 Speaker 1: living parents. I've seen it all. It runs the gamut. 131 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:34,439 Speaker 1: Our children need a broad spectrum of lessons, and that 132 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:37,240 Speaker 1: comes with allowing them to be involved in a broad 133 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:44,520 Speaker 1: spectrum of stuff the arts, theater, music, lessons, certainly, sports, 134 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:49,480 Speaker 1: student government, all of the things that are available to 135 00:09:49,559 --> 00:09:52,600 Speaker 1: them to help them grow and to help them learn 136 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:56,679 Speaker 1: lessons from a varied, diverse group of teachers and mentors. 137 00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:03,640 Speaker 1: Don't have parental interference. Don't don't take away the opportunity 138 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:07,440 Speaker 1: for your kids to catch those lessons by tackling them 139 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:11,720 Speaker 1: before the ball, before those lessons are even able to 140 00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:17,960 Speaker 1: reach them. I do think that most parents involved in 141 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:21,640 Speaker 1: all of this stuff are well intentioned and do just 142 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:25,600 Speaker 1: want want the best for their kids. But oftentimes our 143 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:30,080 Speaker 1: desire for our kids manifest themselves in a way they 144 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:33,559 Speaker 1: didn't healthy. Let your kids do what they want to do. 145 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:36,480 Speaker 1: Let your kids get involved in all kinds of different things. 146 00:10:36,559 --> 00:10:41,040 Speaker 1: Support those endeavors, let them fail, let them skin their knees, 147 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:46,120 Speaker 1: let them be benched, let them be second fiddle. And 148 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:47,960 Speaker 1: where you come in as a parent is you work 149 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,480 Speaker 1: with them and teach them how to get off the bench, 150 00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:54,400 Speaker 1: how not to fall the next time, Teach them how 151 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:57,120 Speaker 1: to compete, teach them how to how to be a 152 00:10:57,120 --> 00:11:00,439 Speaker 1: good teammate, teach them how to come back from failing, 153 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:04,840 Speaker 1: and then teach them how to rejoice in the successes 154 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:13,520 Speaker 1: of improvement. Don't be a printal interferer, So Jim from 155 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:16,400 Speaker 1: Saint Louis, that's what I think about what you said. 156 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:23,040 Speaker 1: I appreciate the question, and I hope I hope shop 157 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:28,240 Speaker 1: Talk has answered at least by perspective on your question. 158 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:33,839 Speaker 1: That's shop Talk number eleven. Everybody. I'm Bill Courtney, don't 159 00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:36,560 Speaker 1: be a printal Interferer. I'll see you next week.