1 00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:02,520 Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning. 2 00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:07,720 Speaker 2: Breakfast Club Morning, everybody in dej n V jess hilarious, 3 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:10,239 Speaker 2: Charlamagne the God. We are the Breakfast Club. Laura Rosa 4 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:12,040 Speaker 2: is here as well. We got a special guest. 5 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:12,520 Speaker 3: In the building. 6 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,640 Speaker 2: We have doctor Cheyenne Bryant. 7 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:18,360 Speaker 1: Welcome club man. 8 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:20,279 Speaker 4: You are one of the people in the mental health space. 9 00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:20,599 Speaker 1: Who are you? 10 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:22,760 Speaker 4: Who's using who's really using social media? 11 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:23,760 Speaker 5: Right right? 12 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:25,599 Speaker 4: Like you know, because you've used it to you know, 13 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:28,520 Speaker 4: elevate your platform and just elevate the conversation around mental health. 14 00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:29,360 Speaker 1: So I aplaud you on. 15 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:30,800 Speaker 5: Yeah, thank you. I appreciate that. 16 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:33,000 Speaker 1: Yeah. I always say I didn't get into this field 17 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:36,040 Speaker 1: to become a celebrity. But God has his own plans, right, 18 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:39,280 Speaker 1: So I literally and my master's and my doctor program. 19 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:42,240 Speaker 1: I remember my professor was saying, everyone who's gonna get license, 20 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:44,360 Speaker 1: raise your hand. I didn't raise my hand. Everybody else did. 21 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:46,480 Speaker 1: And he's like, Doc, you're going you know with shying 22 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:48,479 Speaker 1: at that time, you're going through all this, not get license. 23 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:50,879 Speaker 1: I'm like, no, because I'm gonna be on a platform 24 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,440 Speaker 1: where I'm able to change lives. Didn't think that it 25 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:56,880 Speaker 1: ended up being a platform where to this magnitude one 26 00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,840 Speaker 1: and then to the place where literally I didn't want it, 27 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:04,240 Speaker 1: the whole celebrity status and lifestyle. And not that I'm 28 00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:05,800 Speaker 1: saying I don't want it now and I don't like it, 29 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:08,080 Speaker 1: It's just this is not where I expected it to go. 30 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:11,160 Speaker 1: But again, if God needs to use a celebritiness and 31 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:14,040 Speaker 1: I said it at your Mental health and Mental Health Expo, 32 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:17,360 Speaker 1: you know, whether the celebrity status brings me, the naysayers 33 00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:20,360 Speaker 1: or the sayers, whatever it brings. As long as they 34 00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:22,240 Speaker 1: can get a tip R two that gives them a 35 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:24,960 Speaker 1: better quality of life and helps them become better mentally, 36 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:26,200 Speaker 1: then run the play. 37 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:27,880 Speaker 5: I'm cool with it. 38 00:01:27,319 --> 00:01:30,000 Speaker 6: How does that impact though, Like you do work in 39 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:32,600 Speaker 6: mental health, but there's a lot of like the naysayers 40 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:35,760 Speaker 6: are so loud, How does that impact you mental health wise? 41 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:38,280 Speaker 6: And like, what's your work through because it's there, especially 42 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:40,640 Speaker 6: with that when the Kim interview came out, they. 43 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,520 Speaker 3: Were people were upset about it. 44 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,959 Speaker 6: Some people agree, but you know, how do you, as 45 00:01:44,959 --> 00:01:47,240 Speaker 6: a person in that space deal with all of that pushback. 46 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:50,480 Speaker 1: This is the thing, Sis, I grew up a little 47 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:52,200 Speaker 1: girl in the inner city, in the hood. I grew 48 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,880 Speaker 1: up to two teenage parents. My mom was addicted to 49 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:57,360 Speaker 1: the drug that my father sold. I'm a product of 50 00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,240 Speaker 1: a street dude, a straight gangster who turned into being 51 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:02,639 Speaker 1: a good family man, and my mom is now. 52 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:03,760 Speaker 5: Sober for the record. 53 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:06,080 Speaker 1: And so I say all that to say that when 54 00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:10,360 Speaker 1: you grow up in a certain type of adversity, loud noise, 55 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,560 Speaker 1: that's against the grain of what you're doing. It's not 56 00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 1: loud noise, you know, it's a norm. And that's why 57 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:18,960 Speaker 1: you know, the Bible says it's good for me that 58 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:22,799 Speaker 1: I was afflicted, because when you have those afflictions, they 59 00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:25,040 Speaker 1: are preparing you for a time like this that you 60 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:28,240 Speaker 1: have to stand in a leadership role. And leadership comes 61 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:31,040 Speaker 1: with pressure, it comes with commitment, it comes with character. 62 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:33,960 Speaker 1: And so when you have naysayers who are applying pressure, 63 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,880 Speaker 1: then that's when you show if you a piet for 64 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,720 Speaker 1: your diamond. But I already knew from the trenches that 65 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:40,880 Speaker 1: I was a diamond, So I wasn't worried about coming 66 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,440 Speaker 1: into this space with somebody having a problem with what 67 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:46,320 Speaker 1: I'm doing. And I'm in my intent, I'm in my purpose, 68 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:47,800 Speaker 1: and I'm vertical on who I am. 69 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:50,280 Speaker 5: It don't matter to me because I'm running my own place. 70 00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:52,720 Speaker 1: So I'm not sitting up there as a quarterback being 71 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:59,080 Speaker 1: Brady waiting for a moss. 72 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:01,840 Speaker 3: Have to put somebody out there. We're gonna win. 73 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:04,280 Speaker 5: Put someone out there. That's just what it is, you know. 74 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:06,840 Speaker 1: So when you're vertical and who you are, you're not 75 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:10,520 Speaker 1: really worried about what is going to show up to 76 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,880 Speaker 1: catch the catch. You know you your job is to throw, 77 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:15,959 Speaker 1: and then the receiver job is to do what to catch. 78 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:19,799 Speaker 1: And so the quarterback don't throw and go just catch 79 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:20,880 Speaker 1: you better do it? 80 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:23,600 Speaker 5: Just hands up. The quarterback throws and he like, all right, 81 00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:24,359 Speaker 5: I know I did it. 82 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:27,280 Speaker 1: Tand up the slant over and that's it. And it's 83 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:28,880 Speaker 1: a celebration if you're in there. If not, we run 84 00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:31,560 Speaker 1: the play back again until we do it. And that's 85 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:32,760 Speaker 1: just what That's what life's about. 86 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:35,200 Speaker 2: Now, you talked about your calling, So when it came 87 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:37,320 Speaker 2: when it comes to your calling, what is your calling? 88 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:39,560 Speaker 2: What do you specialize in? Is it relationships? Is it 89 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:42,160 Speaker 2: dealing with people's problems? Is it just listening? What is 90 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:44,080 Speaker 2: your specialty when it comes to and what's your calling? 91 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:44,640 Speaker 5: I love that. 92 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:46,640 Speaker 1: So I started off as a marriage, and marriage I 93 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 1: mean child therapist, and I tell God, I said, listen, 94 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:50,920 Speaker 1: I'm a little girl from the hood. 95 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 5: You know what I come from. 96 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:54,960 Speaker 1: Don't put me in the hood, and don't put me 97 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:57,800 Speaker 1: with with you know, court order DCF kids. 98 00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:00,200 Speaker 5: Not that I had a problem with him. I didn't 99 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:00,280 Speaker 5: want to. 100 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:02,360 Speaker 1: Be triggered dealing with them and I didn't want to 101 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:03,920 Speaker 1: have to deal with what I came from. I wasn't 102 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:07,200 Speaker 1: in the system, but I came from that type of adversity. 103 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:10,320 Speaker 1: And the first place God put me was off of 104 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:12,360 Speaker 1: Hotdale and slots and I don't know if you're familiar 105 00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:14,960 Speaker 1: with LA, but a block away from sloss and swap. 106 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:15,640 Speaker 5: Me in the hood. 107 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:20,479 Speaker 1: And every one of my clients were court ordered DCFS 108 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:23,599 Speaker 1: Department of Family and Child Services. We have moms in 109 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:28,080 Speaker 1: there who were pregnant, still still hitting the pipe asking 110 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:30,040 Speaker 1: me can I sign off on the documents so they 111 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:33,040 Speaker 1: can get the kids back, because I was predicated on 112 00:04:33,279 --> 00:04:36,880 Speaker 1: their unification with their kids, and so started off as 113 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:39,160 Speaker 1: doing that. When I got my doctor, I transitioned to 114 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:42,720 Speaker 1: a psychology expert life coach so that my hands wouldn't 115 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:44,520 Speaker 1: be tied behind my back because when I was a 116 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:49,800 Speaker 1: therapist working for a nonprofit under a license, the protocol, 117 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:53,039 Speaker 1: just with the BBS law, and you're very familiar with 118 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,800 Speaker 1: mental health and therapy, there's so many things that you 119 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:59,400 Speaker 1: cannot do based on ethics and law that, in my opinion, 120 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:02,320 Speaker 1: it the gates and it really takes away from the 121 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:05,440 Speaker 1: real therapeutic experience. So, for example, I had a young 122 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:08,640 Speaker 1: lady come in and she had experienced sexual abuse. Her 123 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:12,120 Speaker 1: mother was allowing men to pay her to have sex 124 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:14,600 Speaker 1: with her daughter at thirteen, from age all the way 125 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:18,280 Speaker 1: from age eight to sixteen. The last time the guy 126 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:21,039 Speaker 1: came in, he put her on the burners and the 127 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:23,919 Speaker 1: stove burners and had his way with her. For that 128 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:27,240 Speaker 1: young lady, thank god, that was the last straw for her. 129 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:31,680 Speaker 1: So she ends up in my office and we're talking 130 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:34,000 Speaker 1: and she's telling me her story and I'm starting to 131 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:37,479 Speaker 1: become triggered because it's trigger and my sexual abuse passed 132 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:41,240 Speaker 1: and so long story short, after one of our sessions, 133 00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:43,240 Speaker 1: I get up and she's in tears and she's telling 134 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:46,000 Speaker 1: her story and I go to hug her and she's like, no, no, no, 135 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:48,600 Speaker 1: you know, don't touch me because that's not something that 136 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:50,240 Speaker 1: she's in a place to handle at that time. 137 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:51,239 Speaker 5: No problem. 138 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,840 Speaker 1: Eight months go by, she's like she has to then 139 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:55,680 Speaker 1: be transferred out. She's like, all right, you know I 140 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:58,200 Speaker 1: wasn't doctor Brian that I was Chyenne. She's like, miss Chyenne, 141 00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:00,720 Speaker 1: thank you for everything. I'm like okay, and she goes, oh, 142 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:04,760 Speaker 1: by the way, I'm ready for that. Hug everything in me, 143 00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:08,000 Speaker 1: everything in me. Dj MVY was just like everything was 144 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:11,240 Speaker 1: just like yeah. And so not only did I hug her, 145 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,719 Speaker 1: but I think I broke through the BBS laws because 146 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:14,960 Speaker 1: I hugged that poor baby. 147 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:17,880 Speaker 5: I kissed all over her. But you're not supposed to 148 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:18,159 Speaker 5: do that. 149 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:21,640 Speaker 1: You're still human, but you're still human. And so my 150 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:24,679 Speaker 1: specialty then was marriage, FAMI and child therapy. 151 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:26,320 Speaker 5: So that is my foundation. 152 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:29,239 Speaker 1: So now that I am a psychology extper life coach, 153 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:32,560 Speaker 1: I can't get rid of that because that's my foundation. 154 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:35,039 Speaker 1: I do psyched on MCBT, but I couple it, which 155 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:38,440 Speaker 1: is my hybrid approach, with coaching. So it's therapy and coaching, 156 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,880 Speaker 1: which is hybrid. And I say this without humility. That's 157 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:43,600 Speaker 1: why I'm so effective because therapy is tell me more. 158 00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:45,880 Speaker 1: Let me hear about your trauma, your daddy issues to 159 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:46,480 Speaker 1: mom issues. 160 00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:48,560 Speaker 5: Why are you who you are. 161 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:50,919 Speaker 1: And then once you're finished dealing with that and you 162 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:53,640 Speaker 1: process that. Okay, DJ MVY, what the hell you going 163 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:54,080 Speaker 1: from there? 164 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:56,280 Speaker 2: I do have one of the questions when it comes 165 00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:58,719 Speaker 2: to the therapy aspect. I'm sure the world has been 166 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:01,880 Speaker 2: watching them and this brothers, right, And I had a question, right, 167 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:04,440 Speaker 2: So the a Menda's brothers, if you don't know, they 168 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:08,240 Speaker 2: confess their crime to the therapist, and they believed that 169 00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:11,880 Speaker 2: the therapists could not tell police officers because it was 170 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:16,360 Speaker 2: I guess, patient client privilege, but they did. So does 171 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:18,600 Speaker 2: that mean anything that I tell a therapist or that 172 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:21,960 Speaker 2: anybody tells a therapist can and can possibly be used 173 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,920 Speaker 2: against them in the court of law one hundred percent. 174 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:27,760 Speaker 1: So a therapist is only under confidential oath unless you 175 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,360 Speaker 1: are threatening to kill yourself and someone else. And it 176 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:32,440 Speaker 1: can't just be a threat. It has to be you 177 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:35,560 Speaker 1: actually have like an action plan to do so. Right. 178 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,080 Speaker 1: You can't just come to me and say, hey, doc, look, 179 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,480 Speaker 1: you know I want to kill myself. I will help 180 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:41,960 Speaker 1: you process through that and hopefully talk you off the ledge. 181 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,000 Speaker 1: But if you say I got a plan. At nine pm, 182 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:45,400 Speaker 1: I'm leaving a house, I'm going to do X Y 183 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:47,960 Speaker 1: and Z to my wife. Then I have a duty 184 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:53,760 Speaker 1: to report. If I'm subpoenaed to court, I have to speak. 185 00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:55,800 Speaker 2: On that now. If I did a crime and I'm 186 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:57,880 Speaker 2: talking to you about the crime because it's eating me up, 187 00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:00,640 Speaker 2: You're not supposed to tell law enforcement if I already 188 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:04,120 Speaker 2: killed somebody already did the crime already, even. 189 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:10,360 Speaker 1: If it's a murder, only unless that they're subpoena. That's it. 190 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:12,960 Speaker 1: When it comes to subpoena in the court and the 191 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:16,200 Speaker 1: justice system, their law oversees everything. 192 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:17,000 Speaker 5: It just does. 193 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:21,000 Speaker 1: When it comes to your confidentiality as client privilege, there's 194 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:24,000 Speaker 1: nothing that I can say out even can you reach out. 195 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:25,240 Speaker 4: To the court and say, subpoena me, I need to 196 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:25,680 Speaker 4: be subena. 197 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:31,560 Speaker 1: Would never do that, just because I believe in following 198 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:33,600 Speaker 1: the oath of and maybe I just love and respect 199 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,160 Speaker 1: my clients too much. But if you came to me 200 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,480 Speaker 1: and said something, I'm just not And I know this 201 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:40,480 Speaker 1: is smaller than murder, but I've had married couples who 202 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:44,040 Speaker 1: come separately and together and the husband is just lighting 203 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:47,400 Speaker 1: it up in his individual sessions, like I'm cheating. I'm 204 00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:49,880 Speaker 1: intimate with this person and that person is family members, 205 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:52,080 Speaker 1: is this, and I'm and I'm having to just make 206 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,920 Speaker 1: sure I process my counter transfers because I'm sitting there 207 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:59,640 Speaker 1: like damn, and I have her in one hour, her 208 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:02,040 Speaker 1: in one in one hour. 209 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:02,800 Speaker 3: God. 210 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:05,040 Speaker 1: Now, of course, if it was like my girlfriend, i'd 211 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:13,959 Speaker 1: be likelfriend, because my best friend couldn't be that's that's 212 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,520 Speaker 1: a conflidication. She could never come to me as as 213 00:09:16,559 --> 00:09:18,840 Speaker 1: a psychology expert in that. But I then I'd be 214 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:20,439 Speaker 1: I'd be you know, ripping into. 215 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:22,160 Speaker 4: In talking to me from the human respective, because you 216 00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:25,400 Speaker 4: still you're still a real stuff like that when you 217 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,120 Speaker 4: hear the guy come in one hour, he doing X, 218 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:28,679 Speaker 4: Y and Z, and the woman coming to the next hour, 219 00:09:28,679 --> 00:09:30,120 Speaker 4: what is going through your mind about to do? 220 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:32,400 Speaker 5: Charla? And my clients are watching this, and. 221 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:37,920 Speaker 1: My client's gonna be like, that's what you really mean? 222 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:42,240 Speaker 1: But you know in my mind, honestly what I try 223 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,600 Speaker 1: to do, and and and and some of my clients 224 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:47,880 Speaker 1: have followed this guidance. I have one client now, he's 225 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:50,800 Speaker 1: he's married and the wife is attempted to divorce him, 226 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,760 Speaker 1: and she's divorcing him because he cheated, but she doesn't 227 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:54,720 Speaker 1: have any hard. 228 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:57,920 Speaker 5: Facts on him. So I've all I've actually been. 229 00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,960 Speaker 1: Able to process with him whether you're gonna be with 230 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,120 Speaker 1: this woman or not, if you want to be with 231 00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:04,320 Speaker 1: her or you want to be able to leave and 232 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,560 Speaker 1: do better. At some point, you got to be able 233 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:07,920 Speaker 1: to be real with yourself and real with her, and 234 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:10,040 Speaker 1: you got to be transparent. When do you plan on 235 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,520 Speaker 1: doing that? So he just literally this week or last week, 236 00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:14,200 Speaker 1: because this week he told me doc. I sat with 237 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:16,680 Speaker 1: her and I told her that has been you know 238 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:19,000 Speaker 1: a few times that I did jeep And. 239 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:20,040 Speaker 5: I said, how does she respond? 240 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:23,319 Speaker 1: He says, she said, now we can have a conversation 241 00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:25,959 Speaker 1: because now you're keeping it real. And when I had 242 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:30,120 Speaker 1: her in session, I said, listen, triggered, triggered. 243 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:33,280 Speaker 5: Right, yeah. I said, look, you have two options, said, 244 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:34,719 Speaker 5: either you know, I can. 245 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:36,839 Speaker 1: I can if you're willing to learn to love a dog, 246 00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:40,480 Speaker 1: we can start that process because you know, or we 247 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:43,959 Speaker 1: could start the process of you leaving and starting over. 248 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:45,319 Speaker 1: And she goes, what do you mean by a dog? 249 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,439 Speaker 1: She said, but he didn't. We've been together for ten years. 250 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,480 Speaker 1: He's never cheated. The first time, I said no, no, baby, 251 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 1: I said, he'd been quiet for ten years. He decided 252 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,640 Speaker 1: to bark on your number ten Jesus. 253 00:10:54,679 --> 00:10:56,240 Speaker 6: So you don't think so you don't think that he 254 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,840 Speaker 6: could change in that marriage and not cheat anymore. 255 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:01,960 Speaker 1: First of all, nobody changed, including me. We shift, and 256 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,360 Speaker 1: that changes our life. And when I say we shift, 257 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:06,959 Speaker 1: we shift out of the things and behaviors that don't 258 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:10,040 Speaker 1: serve us after we learn they're not working, and then 259 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:12,959 Speaker 1: we have to learn to manage those. So I am 260 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:16,960 Speaker 1: very firecrackery. When I was younger, I was very temperamental. 261 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:19,480 Speaker 1: I was very you know who the fuck you're talking to? 262 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:20,160 Speaker 5: Real quick? 263 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:23,040 Speaker 1: I just because of my trauma, because of things, I 264 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:26,400 Speaker 1: just had a very protective by all means necessary. I'm 265 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,360 Speaker 1: an otus of seven, so I was you know, I've 266 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 1: light this place up. Is that still in me after all. 267 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:33,160 Speaker 5: Of my healing? Hell? Yeah? 268 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:37,400 Speaker 1: Do I manage it? Absolutely? Managing it just means that 269 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:40,199 Speaker 1: I'm high function I'm able to regulate my emotions right, 270 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:43,199 Speaker 1: identify my emotions, don't get into my feelings because emotions 271 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:46,400 Speaker 1: are healthy. Feelings cause problems, and I can just say, okay, 272 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:49,440 Speaker 1: identify that I'm angry, I'm frustrated, So now let me 273 00:11:49,559 --> 00:11:52,840 Speaker 1: choose my response. Before I was low functioning, once I 274 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:55,120 Speaker 1: felt it, I was triggered and everybody here was gonna 275 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:56,000 Speaker 1: know and it was gonna. 276 00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:56,400 Speaker 5: Be a problem. 277 00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:59,600 Speaker 1: So does that still come up? Yeah, but do I 278 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:02,080 Speaker 1: have self talk that says we're not doing that. 279 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:03,600 Speaker 2: So you don't think people can change. 280 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:07,880 Speaker 1: You just feel like they manage ourself. Well, we manage 281 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:10,679 Speaker 1: our self up. So a man who's a womanizer, he 282 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:15,800 Speaker 1: is always a womanizer. It's just how well can he 283 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:20,320 Speaker 1: discipline or manage his womanizing appetite, his womanizing actions, his 284 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:24,920 Speaker 1: womanizing desires? Can he imagine manage his environment? Can he 285 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,240 Speaker 1: be in a room full of women and not womanized 286 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,440 Speaker 1: and not cheat and not step out and not have 287 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:30,520 Speaker 1: infidelity issues. 288 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:33,120 Speaker 5: We like what we like. We are who we are. 289 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:35,800 Speaker 2: So you would never date a man that cheated before 290 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:37,520 Speaker 2: because you feel like he will always be a cheated 291 00:12:37,679 --> 00:12:38,480 Speaker 2: Is that what you're saying. 292 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:41,720 Speaker 1: I think that's also circumstantial. So I do believe that 293 00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:44,400 Speaker 1: different relationships bring out different things in us. I was 294 00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:47,440 Speaker 1: also an extreme alpha in my first engagement. I had 295 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:50,000 Speaker 1: two engagements called off, two weddings. My first relationship that 296 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,920 Speaker 1: I was engaged to, I was extreme alpha. So even 297 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:56,240 Speaker 1: if he tried to be alpha, I left no space. 298 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:58,960 Speaker 1: It was like hell, no, by all means necessary, Because 299 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:02,280 Speaker 1: I said so on, you can walk like I'm chasing 300 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:02,840 Speaker 1: my career. 301 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:03,920 Speaker 5: I know my value. 302 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:06,240 Speaker 1: I'm not fatherless. I got a daddy. He spoils me 303 00:13:06,559 --> 00:13:07,120 Speaker 1: good day. 304 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,200 Speaker 5: So even in that, do you feel like that he 305 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:11,679 Speaker 5: wasn't man enough for you? Or like, what was that? 306 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:12,720 Speaker 5: Do you think that's your fault? 307 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:14,800 Speaker 7: Do you look back and be like, ugh, I was 308 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,040 Speaker 7: trying to be the man, not trying to be the man. 309 00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:19,600 Speaker 5: But I actually I gave him because you just said 310 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:21,440 Speaker 5: you gave no room for him to do it. So 311 00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:23,240 Speaker 5: do you regret that part of me? 312 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:26,240 Speaker 1: That's a duality. I think he chose a woman who 313 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:29,240 Speaker 1: was alpha because it fed something in him that was beta. 314 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:31,520 Speaker 1: I chose a man who was beta because my alpha 315 00:13:31,559 --> 00:13:35,280 Speaker 1: needed to be inflamed. But my second engagement, he was alpha. 316 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:38,360 Speaker 1: That's why I say it's circumstantial. But not only was 317 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:42,320 Speaker 1: he alpha, I was ready. I had these submissive fills 318 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:43,880 Speaker 1: in me already, So by the time we got in 319 00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:46,400 Speaker 1: a relationship, I was a hybrid. 320 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:49,000 Speaker 5: By then I was alpha submissive, so I was cooking. 321 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,959 Speaker 5: He was daddy. I was soft. 322 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:54,280 Speaker 1: I was in my feminine and the blessing of that 323 00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:57,400 Speaker 1: is I got to experience both, and I learned that 324 00:13:57,520 --> 00:13:59,679 Speaker 1: I fell more in love with myself in my softness 325 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:02,320 Speaker 1: then he probably did. Like I was doing ship where 326 00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:09,080 Speaker 1: I'm like, that's me, that's me right now, even in 327 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:11,760 Speaker 1: the bedroom things that I was like, no, I'm not. 328 00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:15,480 Speaker 1: When I was in my office, absolutely not. I was like, 329 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:18,319 Speaker 1: can we do that thing again? That thing I don't 330 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:19,280 Speaker 1: look at y'll y'all married? 331 00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:21,320 Speaker 5: Can we do that thing again? Like that thing I said, 332 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:24,080 Speaker 5: you submit, but that. 333 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,520 Speaker 1: But also but right, but also plays a role. 334 00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:35,040 Speaker 8: But in the position what you doing, I'm not gonna 335 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,160 Speaker 8: from When you said that, I kept thinking of his story, 336 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:40,880 Speaker 8: what it was telling me, the story about never mind 337 00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:42,720 Speaker 8: Gilly the King was telling me a story about something 338 00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:48,800 Speaker 8: else in kim Port the book, And how did he. 339 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:49,400 Speaker 3: Right? 340 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:57,720 Speaker 2: I just knew something you don't feel. That can change, though, 341 00:14:57,800 --> 00:14:59,480 Speaker 2: Like you know maturity, because you know a lot of 342 00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:07,240 Speaker 2: times because a lot of time sometimes you're immature and 343 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:10,440 Speaker 2: you don't know right. And I think you can grow 344 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:13,080 Speaker 2: out of things where you are mature, not just being 345 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:16,840 Speaker 2: a womanizer or being insecure. Some of those things you 346 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:18,760 Speaker 2: grow out of because you learn differently, and some of 347 00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:21,600 Speaker 2: the things that you follow is because of society teaches 348 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:24,880 Speaker 2: you other than what you should be doing if you 349 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:25,560 Speaker 2: Undertand I'm. 350 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:27,520 Speaker 1: Saying so when I was a child, I thought as 351 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,400 Speaker 1: a child. Now that I'm a man, I think is 352 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:32,360 Speaker 1: a man right, That's what the Bible says. So do 353 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,520 Speaker 1: I think that we can mature out of things? Just 354 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:39,400 Speaker 1: what maturity takes work, It takes awareness and sense of self. 355 00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:42,440 Speaker 1: So how many of us are really getting that? If 356 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:45,160 Speaker 1: we're in the same environments, the same relationships, are dating 357 00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:48,680 Speaker 1: different people with the same spirit, So the same spirit 358 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:50,120 Speaker 1: is going to activate. 359 00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:51,080 Speaker 5: The same things in you. 360 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:53,880 Speaker 1: You want different there has to be a different circumstance 361 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:57,320 Speaker 1: of different activation. I went from a beta to an alpha, 362 00:15:57,480 --> 00:16:00,200 Speaker 1: and I was receptive to being with an alpha. Well, 363 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,040 Speaker 1: that's why I was able to be activated in my 364 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:04,840 Speaker 1: feminine I wouldn't choose a beta now, I'd want an 365 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:07,800 Speaker 1: alpha man. But I also hold space for an alpha man. 366 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:11,320 Speaker 1: You couldn't be with a woman who is high functioning 367 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:14,560 Speaker 1: and be a womanizer. She ain't holding space for you. 368 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:17,080 Speaker 1: You can pray on a low functioning woman because she 369 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:20,720 Speaker 1: holds space too much space for a low functioning man 370 00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:23,120 Speaker 1: who wants to prey on her. But if you were 371 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:25,000 Speaker 1: to say, you know what, I want to shift up 372 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,840 Speaker 1: my ways, you would also have to shift and choose 373 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:31,800 Speaker 1: a woman who won't tolerate that because she will hold 374 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:34,320 Speaker 1: you accountable when you're in a space that don't work 375 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:37,120 Speaker 1: for her. Sure, does that make sense? So you can't 376 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:38,880 Speaker 1: be in the same environment. 377 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:41,520 Speaker 2: But let's say a man is insecure, and he's insecure 378 00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:43,720 Speaker 2: when he's sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, right because he doesn't know 379 00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:47,600 Speaker 2: the world, or a man follows the likeness of, for instance, 380 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,520 Speaker 2: hip hop right because hip hop influenced so much of 381 00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:51,160 Speaker 2: us and a lot of us were grown from it. 382 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:54,040 Speaker 2: You know, whether it was what we did, what we 383 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:57,600 Speaker 2: spoke about, carrying guns, selling drugs, being a womanized, whatever 384 00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:58,160 Speaker 2: that may be. 385 00:16:58,240 --> 00:16:59,640 Speaker 5: Men can change, man can change. 386 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:01,480 Speaker 4: I feel like I feel like what you're saying is true, 387 00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:04,480 Speaker 4: but I feel like I would say shifts lead to Actually, 388 00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:04,840 Speaker 4: that's what. 389 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:07,800 Speaker 1: I'm saying, so right, So I'm not saying, listen, we're 390 00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:10,160 Speaker 1: not Jesus, We're not turning water to wine. I've said 391 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:12,400 Speaker 1: that on the Cam Newton episode and I stand by that. 392 00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:14,960 Speaker 1: So you're not gonna change, and you're not gonna switch 393 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:19,000 Speaker 1: up and tomorrow be a six ' five chocolate man. 394 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:20,200 Speaker 2: You don't know what identify it. 395 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:22,520 Speaker 5: Listen, I'm self projected. That's what I'm trying. 396 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:29,000 Speaker 1: But can you shift? Shifts will change you your world. 397 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:33,200 Speaker 1: You don't change, you shift. So what happens is that 398 00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:36,400 Speaker 1: insecure boy grows up to be a man who shifts 399 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:39,520 Speaker 1: things in him and his environment changes, and so does 400 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:41,760 Speaker 1: he feel his insecurity and flame way less? 401 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:42,399 Speaker 5: Absolutely? 402 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:45,119 Speaker 1: But whether there be moments where your little boy arises 403 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:48,639 Speaker 1: in you because you're triggered, that's life. And when that happens, 404 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:50,359 Speaker 1: if it's once a year or once every five years, 405 00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:52,520 Speaker 1: you have to have the effective tools to manage that 406 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:54,960 Speaker 1: little boy or he will sabotage or he will go cheat. 407 00:17:55,119 --> 00:17:57,600 Speaker 1: And that's how you say he ain't cheated in ten years, 408 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:00,520 Speaker 1: but he barked on your number ten. I agree with 409 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:01,280 Speaker 1: that wholeheartedly. 410 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:03,119 Speaker 4: The way it was worded the first time, I was like, 411 00:18:03,119 --> 00:18:05,440 Speaker 4: I think men sang, but I get what you said totally. 412 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:07,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, people can shift and that creates a change, but 413 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,840 Speaker 1: we don't wake up and we're like, we're totally different. 414 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:14,280 Speaker 7: So the interview with Cam and also I saw that 415 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:15,160 Speaker 7: you sat down with Nick. 416 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:16,000 Speaker 5: How did that? 417 00:18:16,119 --> 00:18:19,920 Speaker 7: How did did the fire cracker and you be like, 418 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:21,480 Speaker 7: I need to sit down with them. How did you 419 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,760 Speaker 7: get them in the room? How did you do those 420 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:25,919 Speaker 7: two interviews? Did they reach out to you or did 421 00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:27,080 Speaker 7: you reach out to them? 422 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,840 Speaker 1: So Nick reach out to me and said, Doc, what's up? 423 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,160 Speaker 1: Like I want to work through somethings, but I want 424 00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:34,639 Speaker 1: to work through it on camera. And I said, okay, 425 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:38,280 Speaker 1: no problem, but I'm going to penetrate. So we're not 426 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:39,840 Speaker 1: doing it penetrate. 427 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:45,639 Speaker 3: Crazy. 428 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:53,720 Speaker 1: So he liked penetration nicky because Nick always goes, Doc, 429 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,000 Speaker 1: do you have to use that word. 430 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:56,800 Speaker 5: I'm like, yeah, I am. 431 00:18:56,880 --> 00:19:00,880 Speaker 1: I'm penetrating you at the space that obviously it's broken 432 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:02,439 Speaker 1: and its function to. 433 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:13,320 Speaker 7: See men don't like twelve year old girl right now? 434 00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:16,440 Speaker 5: Boy definitely present, definitely. 435 00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:19,880 Speaker 7: So when he says all right, I need to work 436 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:23,520 Speaker 7: through some things, You're like, okay, on camera? Does that 437 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:26,400 Speaker 7: then in your mind say. 438 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:28,560 Speaker 5: Is this for real? 439 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:28,920 Speaker 1: For real? 440 00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:32,479 Speaker 7: Or do you want to appeal to a certain market, 441 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:34,640 Speaker 7: you know, to a certain audience. You know what I'm saying, 442 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:37,159 Speaker 7: because you know, we're in the in the times now 443 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:39,399 Speaker 7: where everything has to be recorded or didn't happen or 444 00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:42,159 Speaker 7: you know, that's just how people look or how people feel, 445 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:48,560 Speaker 7: But what does that make it a little phony to you? So, 446 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:50,560 Speaker 7: because I couldn't find another world. 447 00:19:50,359 --> 00:19:54,080 Speaker 1: Other than but great observation, I didn't look at it 448 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,480 Speaker 1: like that because I look at it like I have 449 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:59,159 Speaker 1: a job to do and a purpose to serve. So 450 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:02,320 Speaker 1: whether we have one camera or ten, you're gonna get 451 00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:05,040 Speaker 1: this work. And so they may have done it, and 452 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:06,480 Speaker 1: I'm not saying they did. They may have done it 453 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:10,320 Speaker 1: from an entertainment perspective, but as we see, more. 454 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:11,359 Speaker 5: Than entertainment came out of it. 455 00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:14,640 Speaker 1: Because your intention will always be what ends up being 456 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:17,000 Speaker 1: the end result for you. And so my intent was 457 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:23,560 Speaker 1: to use Nick's situation and shift a whole culture of 458 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:26,760 Speaker 1: black men saying with Cam, and it happened. There were 459 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:28,880 Speaker 1: a lot of naysayers, but a lot of black men 460 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:33,320 Speaker 1: were actually in there creating the vironus and saying, listen, 461 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:35,320 Speaker 1: Doc is right, we need to create more husbands and 462 00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:38,040 Speaker 1: less baby daddies. Black men were like, I'm twenty six, 463 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:40,239 Speaker 1: I got three kids by three different women, and she's right, 464 00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:40,879 Speaker 1: this ain't it. 465 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:41,120 Speaker 8: Man. 466 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:42,399 Speaker 5: We got to do different. 467 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:46,119 Speaker 1: That was my intent, and my intent is what manifested 468 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:49,480 Speaker 1: so and Nick as well. Cam was resistant, but Cam 469 00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:52,600 Speaker 1: had answered a lot of questions in his household. Cam 470 00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:53,879 Speaker 1: had a lot of stuff, He had a lot of 471 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,359 Speaker 1: different conversations he had to have with that woman whether 472 00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:58,120 Speaker 1: she wants to come out on social media and where 473 00:20:58,160 --> 00:20:59,480 Speaker 1: the mask she's been wearing. 474 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:01,520 Speaker 5: That mask is off at home. 475 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:05,160 Speaker 1: Cam had to answer questions that created a lot of conflict. 476 00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:08,760 Speaker 1: Conflict is needed for a resolve and for shift and change, 477 00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,080 Speaker 1: and so yeah, entertainment or not. I wanted to make 478 00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:14,400 Speaker 1: sure that what happened happened, that the conversation is now 479 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:17,120 Speaker 1: being had everywhere that it is time for our community 480 00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:19,200 Speaker 1: to do things differently. And if you have already created 481 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:22,040 Speaker 1: broken houses and homes, you're not doomed, but you need 482 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:24,760 Speaker 1: to stop. It's a time to stop, like we're not 483 00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:29,120 Speaker 1: here to create broken houses. And now yourself, you're projecting 484 00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:31,480 Speaker 1: your daddy issues and mommy issues as a man onto 485 00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:33,800 Speaker 1: an entire generation that has to now grow up to 486 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:35,639 Speaker 1: figure out what the hell is the root of their 487 00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:37,720 Speaker 1: issue and how do they not sabotage and how do 488 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:38,880 Speaker 1: they do this thing differently? 489 00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:43,240 Speaker 4: Yeah, Cam said that you know it affected his relationship 490 00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:46,199 Speaker 4: with his first two baby moms and his current situation. 491 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:49,080 Speaker 1: You feel any more for that of No, yeah, because 492 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:52,080 Speaker 1: I'm here to interrupt that pattern. No, yeah, like the 493 00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:54,240 Speaker 1: ship should have been interrupted a long time. A lot 494 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:56,480 Speaker 1: of you know, Cam and you come from and not 495 00:21:56,640 --> 00:22:01,639 Speaker 1: that this breeds you know, good decision making people. But 496 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:04,840 Speaker 1: Cam comes from he's a pastor's child. He comes from 497 00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:07,120 Speaker 1: two parents that are still married and they're still very 498 00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:09,640 Speaker 1: their pastors, very much involved with the church that goes 499 00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:12,480 Speaker 1: to show you, like the Bible said, it was good 500 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:15,680 Speaker 1: for me that I was afflicted because you got people 501 00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:17,680 Speaker 1: who come from brokenness. This is why I said, these 502 00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:20,840 Speaker 1: kids are not doomed who make different decisions because it's 503 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:22,920 Speaker 1: not about where a lot of times it's not where 504 00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:24,880 Speaker 1: you go, and they gets you where you're going, it's 505 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:27,480 Speaker 1: where you trying to get the hell away from. And 506 00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:30,600 Speaker 1: a lot of times parents. Yeah, I was telling Rayja this. 507 00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:35,439 Speaker 1: Ray J is my client as well Jesus and I 508 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:37,720 Speaker 1: was telling ray I said, ray I love your parents, 509 00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:43,240 Speaker 1: but they showed you everything to do right, they didn't 510 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:45,960 Speaker 1: show you what not to do. And see, for me, 511 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,800 Speaker 1: I had a circumstances an environment that showed me everything 512 00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:53,040 Speaker 1: not to do. So sometimes knowing what not to do 513 00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:56,359 Speaker 1: saves you from doing the wrong shit. It's not about 514 00:22:56,359 --> 00:22:59,480 Speaker 1: having a perfect household, It's about having a blended, balanced 515 00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:02,399 Speaker 1: household says listen, this is what you can do to 516 00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:04,159 Speaker 1: get you this, This is what you you shouldn't do. 517 00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:06,080 Speaker 1: And when you come from a lot of pastor kids 518 00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:07,840 Speaker 1: and these these folks who come in from these really 519 00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:12,880 Speaker 1: perfect households are perfect marriages that have a lot of infidelity, 520 00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:17,640 Speaker 1: a lot of brokenness in them, these folks, these kids 521 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:19,600 Speaker 1: learn how to master life as well, and they learn 522 00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:23,120 Speaker 1: how to overcompensate for what they're missing in broken houses, 523 00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:27,520 Speaker 1: in womanizing or mannizing ways, and that becomes an issue, 524 00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:30,560 Speaker 1: and then they just becomes a dysfunctional pattern where they 525 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:31,359 Speaker 1: keep creating this. 526 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:33,479 Speaker 5: They get comfortable and dysfunction and say I'm thriving here. 527 00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:33,840 Speaker 5: No you're not. 528 00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:36,800 Speaker 1: You've learned to survive and you're teaching everybody else who 529 00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:40,560 Speaker 1: you are, you know, creating or pro creating how to survive. 530 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:45,240 Speaker 7: I was just going to ask, how do you deal 531 00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:48,200 Speaker 7: with your other clients if you have raj. 532 00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:52,879 Speaker 3: Who I do? 533 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:55,600 Speaker 5: Oh yeah I have that, I have wise counsel. 534 00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:58,400 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, I have a nice group, a nice 535 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:01,959 Speaker 1: really healthy ecosystem. People who are in you know, counselors 536 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:05,119 Speaker 1: and coaches and who are not do I use them? 537 00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:05,600 Speaker 3: Does this? 538 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,760 Speaker 6: Like so like with the cam situation, is in there 539 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:10,080 Speaker 6: like a follow up conversation with him and like he 540 00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:12,120 Speaker 6: wants to work through more stuff now off camera because 541 00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,240 Speaker 6: like it. I'm sure it triggered a lot for him 542 00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:16,560 Speaker 6: as well too when those additional conversations had to happen, 543 00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:19,480 Speaker 6: Like is he gonna be like what happens after that? 544 00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:21,000 Speaker 6: We see it in really we see it on the 545 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:24,160 Speaker 6: internet and it goes crazy. Yeah, the baby mom's a girlfriend. 546 00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:24,800 Speaker 3: All the fall out. 547 00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:27,280 Speaker 6: There's been recent fallout too with him talking about her 548 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:29,600 Speaker 6: jazz not being the only woman that he slept with 549 00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:32,160 Speaker 6: in a relationship, and so there's things coming out. Now 550 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,200 Speaker 6: does he hit you up and say, hey, I want 551 00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:35,200 Speaker 6: to do some more work, I want to have a 552 00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:37,000 Speaker 6: conversation or he's like nah. 553 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:40,359 Speaker 1: He's he hasn't hit me up to say yes, but 554 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:43,639 Speaker 1: he's definitely not like nah, okay, But I who I 555 00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:46,000 Speaker 1: would love to have a conversation with, whether it can, 556 00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:48,400 Speaker 1: whether it's on camera or off not, just to more 557 00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:52,720 Speaker 1: support her in whatever she's doing right now or feeling 558 00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:54,840 Speaker 1: or going through his jazz. Yeah, I would love to 559 00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:57,240 Speaker 1: have a conversation with Jazz, even if it's a private session. 560 00:24:58,040 --> 00:24:59,879 Speaker 1: I think that she needs tools on how to be 561 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,600 Speaker 1: in this relationship if she's gonna stay, and if she 562 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:04,760 Speaker 1: chooses to leave, she needs tools on how to also 563 00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:07,800 Speaker 1: pivot that. And it's not about having a conversation with 564 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:09,320 Speaker 1: her or having a session with her to get her 565 00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:10,040 Speaker 1: to change her mind. 566 00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:11,919 Speaker 5: It's about getting. 567 00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:14,480 Speaker 1: Her to feel supported and showing compassion and then trying 568 00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:16,120 Speaker 1: to figure out where she wants to navigate from here. 569 00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:18,200 Speaker 1: And see, that's the thing, because I don't know if 570 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:21,960 Speaker 1: you saw months ago, or this may have been before 571 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,840 Speaker 1: she was pregnant. I think I saw this she's happy 572 00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:28,719 Speaker 1: with or you know, with everything that's going on. 573 00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:30,919 Speaker 5: You know how she's okay with that. 574 00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:34,160 Speaker 7: So if she understands and she is willing and she's like, okay, 575 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:37,800 Speaker 7: I'm all in, I'm abiding by every rule that you have, 576 00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:40,000 Speaker 7: then what the hell are you going to talk to 577 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:41,920 Speaker 7: her about? You know what I'm saying, Like, how can 578 00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:46,640 Speaker 7: because even as a woman watching that, right, I didn't 579 00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:48,680 Speaker 7: know who she was with yet until it came out 580 00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:51,120 Speaker 7: and then I was like, oh damn, all right, so 581 00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:53,359 Speaker 7: that's how you feel about him? And that's my man's 582 00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:56,040 Speaker 7: and that's my girl. But I'm just like, damn, how 583 00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:58,600 Speaker 7: strong the strongest back. 584 00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:00,240 Speaker 5: That I've ever her. 585 00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:03,720 Speaker 7: I give my head off to her for dealing with 586 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:09,480 Speaker 7: that whole dynamic, But what can you say to her 587 00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:16,480 Speaker 7: that'll change? I think it's helping her come to herself. 588 00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:21,479 Speaker 7: And I think that I think that Jazz got herself 589 00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:25,119 Speaker 7: into something that one she didn't understand that she was 590 00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:25,920 Speaker 7: getting herself into. 591 00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:27,840 Speaker 1: And I think she would love to back paddle if 592 00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:30,239 Speaker 1: she could. But where do you go from here? 593 00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:30,960 Speaker 5: You have a child? 594 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,600 Speaker 1: A lot of women, especially Black women, stay because they 595 00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,840 Speaker 1: don't want to be a product of a broken house 596 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:39,080 Speaker 1: and they don't want to be a single mom who 597 00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:42,160 Speaker 1: wants to be a statistic who wants to be that right. 598 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:46,360 Speaker 1: And so for her, I understand why she would want 599 00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:50,040 Speaker 1: to stay to make it work. But I also would 600 00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:52,560 Speaker 1: understand why she wants to leave to do it right. 601 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:55,320 Speaker 1: And it's not because he has kids. It's because this 602 00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:59,400 Speaker 1: man is not honoring you. He's disrespecting you. And he's 603 00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:03,120 Speaker 1: not only doing it privately, he's doing it publicly. He's 604 00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:06,080 Speaker 1: not even allowing it to be pillow talk, you know. 605 00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:07,920 Speaker 1: So it's like and That's what I mean by the 606 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:11,080 Speaker 1: epitome of a high valued man in the most low 607 00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:15,480 Speaker 1: functioning functionality you can have, Like you have no respect 608 00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:18,040 Speaker 1: at all for this woman who you not only have 609 00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:21,399 Speaker 1: a child with, but you are in a relationship with. 610 00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:23,679 Speaker 1: You're waiting for God to give you more kids. You 611 00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,600 Speaker 1: have a woman at home, You're sleeping with other women 612 00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:30,919 Speaker 1: publicly on your platform for this woman to feel how 613 00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:33,600 Speaker 1: all you're doing is self projecting your brokenness and your 614 00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:36,280 Speaker 1: pain on this woman. In all of these eight kids 615 00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:39,400 Speaker 1: and these three other women, you are pro creating broken houses. 616 00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:41,639 Speaker 1: And let me go further, he also has a broken 617 00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:43,560 Speaker 1: home with her, Because a broken house and a broken 618 00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:46,119 Speaker 1: home are two different things, So you have both. A 619 00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:48,800 Speaker 1: broken house is just a single family home. It could 620 00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:51,879 Speaker 1: be one mama, one daddy, or for people who have partners, 621 00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:53,080 Speaker 1: it could be one partner. 622 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:53,240 Speaker 5: In the house. 623 00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:57,080 Speaker 1: That means just there's one person. A broken home is 624 00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:59,879 Speaker 1: you got a two party households. The home is so 625 00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,280 Speaker 1: one pair they can't even function at a level of healthiness. 626 00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:06,960 Speaker 1: Cam has both, and he knows that, and he's trying 627 00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:10,159 Speaker 1: to figure out how he front backside pedals. But this 628 00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:12,879 Speaker 1: is the deal, you know, and I said this to 629 00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:15,320 Speaker 1: him jokingly and I wasn't pun attended, but it was 630 00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:17,640 Speaker 1: like I told him, I said, I said, Cam, before 631 00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:19,080 Speaker 1: we did. Then I say, Kim, you about to throw 632 00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:22,000 Speaker 1: picks this entire interview. It's like you did when you 633 00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:24,240 Speaker 1: was playing. Said you took him to a super Bowl, 634 00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:26,840 Speaker 1: but you couldn't get the ring, and he just looked 635 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,240 Speaker 1: and he said no. But to backtrack real quick, Cam 636 00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:36,879 Speaker 1: reached out to me before the interview. I'm but but 637 00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:39,240 Speaker 1: did I did I catch the picks or not? 638 00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:40,680 Speaker 3: From what I saw? 639 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:42,320 Speaker 5: Yeah, the pics right. 640 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:44,560 Speaker 1: And so, but my point is Cam reached out to 641 00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:47,080 Speaker 1: me because ego, he seen me and Nick Cannon's interview 642 00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:49,360 Speaker 1: and he said Nick was too soft. 643 00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:50,720 Speaker 5: Do my interview. 644 00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:53,200 Speaker 1: It's not it's not going to be that same smoke. 645 00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:55,560 Speaker 1: And so I said, sign me up when I'll fly 646 00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:58,520 Speaker 1: out tomorrow. He said, oh, okay, like that, I said, 647 00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:02,600 Speaker 1: hundred percent, I'm ready. And so when it happened, I 648 00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:05,880 Speaker 1: think Cam's edge was to throw me off and to 649 00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:08,680 Speaker 1: see if he can challenge me, challenge me and more 650 00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:13,640 Speaker 1: dominate the conversation. My intent was to bring healing in awareness, and. 651 00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:16,040 Speaker 2: He got that do you ever tell women to leave 652 00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:17,880 Speaker 2: when you're dealing when you're talking to women on men, 653 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,200 Speaker 2: do you ever tell them to leave? Because I know 654 00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:21,720 Speaker 2: a lot of times therapists won't tell somebody to leave. 655 00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:25,120 Speaker 2: And if somebody is still in a relationship, whether it's 656 00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:27,120 Speaker 2: domestic violence, whether it's a woman or notes, or whether 657 00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,520 Speaker 2: it's something that's negative, do you feel like if a 658 00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:31,240 Speaker 2: woman stays, she's weak. 659 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:35,520 Speaker 1: I don't think she's weak. I think she has a 660 00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:38,360 Speaker 1: lot of underlining issues that need to be processed, and 661 00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:40,840 Speaker 1: I think she doesn't have awareness of what those are 662 00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:45,800 Speaker 1: and what that relationship is feeding are the underlining issues, 663 00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:48,760 Speaker 1: and she's staying because she needs those to be fed. 664 00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:52,640 Speaker 1: And if she leaves, what's fed? If she doesn't have 665 00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:55,680 Speaker 1: any awareness of her healthiness. See, what we know is 666 00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:58,520 Speaker 1: what feeds us. We all set up feeding stations and 667 00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:01,440 Speaker 1: we go and feed on things that we have awareness of, 668 00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:04,040 Speaker 1: which is a lot of times I trum my artists 669 00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:07,120 Speaker 1: function or our survival mechanism. And so I never tell 670 00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:10,640 Speaker 1: them to leave, but I do help them either say 671 00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:13,000 Speaker 1: this is what the work is going to take to stay, 672 00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:15,600 Speaker 1: and this is what it looks like for you to leave. 673 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:16,840 Speaker 5: What do you want to do? 674 00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:18,920 Speaker 2: So you don't feel like if a man stays a 675 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:22,640 Speaker 2: woman stays, they are weak, whether it's whatever their relationship. 676 00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:25,320 Speaker 2: You don't feel that way. You feel like people can 677 00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:29,280 Speaker 2: get through certain things, whether it's domestic violence, whether it's abuse, 678 00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:32,240 Speaker 2: whether it's cheating, whether it's whatever it may be. 679 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:34,640 Speaker 1: I think that people can get through it if they're 680 00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:38,240 Speaker 1: willing to reinvent. So marriage isn't something that always has 681 00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:41,120 Speaker 1: to be dissolved. Sometimes it can be recreated and reinvented 682 00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:43,520 Speaker 1: if two people are open to that. And I say 683 00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:46,400 Speaker 1: that because you know, I'm not married yet. I look 684 00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:48,560 Speaker 1: forward to being married and being a mother, but I'm 685 00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:52,120 Speaker 1: not divorcing my husband, and so it very well could 686 00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:55,520 Speaker 1: be where, you know, shoot the social media hopefully not 687 00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:58,040 Speaker 1: goes off on dog one day and says, hey, what 688 00:30:58,080 --> 00:30:58,720 Speaker 1: you was preaching? 689 00:30:58,800 --> 00:30:59,760 Speaker 5: What's up? What you're doing now? 690 00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:02,880 Speaker 1: Fully not, but I'm saying that I'm not leaving my husband. 691 00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:03,640 Speaker 5: What do you say? 692 00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:05,120 Speaker 2: What do you say to people that say, you know, 693 00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:08,440 Speaker 2: how do you give advice on marriages and marriage couples 694 00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:10,600 Speaker 2: when you're not married? That was What do you say 695 00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:11,200 Speaker 2: to those people? 696 00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:13,600 Speaker 1: I love that I say that I don't want to 697 00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:16,960 Speaker 1: hear you've been together fifteen years, been miserable thirteen. I 698 00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:21,320 Speaker 1: rather take advice from a single woman or man who's happy, thriving, successful, 699 00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:23,719 Speaker 1: meaning in their joy, not just in their monetary value, 700 00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:26,240 Speaker 1: then someone who is miserable in the marriage with a 701 00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:27,880 Speaker 1: side dude and a side check. And you want to 702 00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:29,680 Speaker 1: give me an advice that you give yourself, that you're 703 00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:30,520 Speaker 1: using your failed. 704 00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:32,840 Speaker 5: Marriage pass better a pass a past. 705 00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:35,560 Speaker 1: And what happens is married people like to shun on 706 00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:39,200 Speaker 1: single folks. The Bible also says single people are happy people. 707 00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:41,120 Speaker 5: Look that up. 708 00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:47,520 Speaker 1: It says marriage discipline. No, it says marriage take discipline eause. 709 00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:49,040 Speaker 2: A lot of times they say that you reach out 710 00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:52,520 Speaker 2: to older couples that's been married longer because they'll tell 711 00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:55,160 Speaker 2: you how to deal with the marriage than people, you know, 712 00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:57,280 Speaker 2: Like some people say you said, don't hang out with 713 00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:59,200 Speaker 2: your single friends. You talk to married couples that's been 714 00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:00,000 Speaker 2: in that situation. 715 00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:02,720 Speaker 1: And you know why that's true because folks who have 716 00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:04,400 Speaker 1: been married ten in fifty twenty years, they've been through 717 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:05,240 Speaker 1: the trenches. 718 00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:06,959 Speaker 5: So they're not gonna teach you how to be happy. 719 00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:10,120 Speaker 1: We got that single sis, we got that I've had 720 00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:12,400 Speaker 1: that all my life. They're gonna teach you how to 721 00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:15,480 Speaker 1: get through the times when you ain't happy. Y'all married, 722 00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:17,240 Speaker 1: you know that, let's not play this game. You marriage, 723 00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:19,520 Speaker 1: you know that you got of course, Mari, I think 724 00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:22,880 Speaker 1: marriage is beautiful, it's popping, It's where everybody wants to land. 725 00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:24,920 Speaker 1: Why would you not want a partnership and a companion 726 00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:28,440 Speaker 1: your go to? But that shit comes with work. The 727 00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:32,080 Speaker 1: Bible says marriage is for disciplined people discipline. 728 00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:33,200 Speaker 5: I'm single. 729 00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:34,840 Speaker 1: I don't have to be disciplined. Even though I am, 730 00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:36,640 Speaker 1: I don't have to be in that space. 731 00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:38,000 Speaker 2: You think people get married too early. 732 00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:41,120 Speaker 1: I think people choose the wrong people. I think people 733 00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:44,800 Speaker 1: choose their fairy to ideology. They're not choosing the person. See, 734 00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:47,520 Speaker 1: people are choosing marriage and not a husband. They're choosing 735 00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:50,920 Speaker 1: marriage and not a wife. And so when you're choosing marriage, 736 00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:52,880 Speaker 1: you get the title, you get the looks of it, 737 00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:55,680 Speaker 1: but you're not getting a person. So you're a beautiful 738 00:32:55,680 --> 00:33:00,320 Speaker 1: house who's homeless, like the idea of the idea did. 739 00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:04,160 Speaker 1: And those are people who are fatherless sometimes motherless, who 740 00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:07,040 Speaker 1: just need something to be a part of. I just 741 00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:09,600 Speaker 1: need this companionship. I want the title. I don't feel 742 00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:11,880 Speaker 1: value I don't for validated. So because we're married, I 743 00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:13,040 Speaker 1: got somebody who's checking from me. 744 00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:14,520 Speaker 5: I got somebody who can get me through the day. 745 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:17,440 Speaker 1: But you got to be able to check even in marriage. 746 00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:20,160 Speaker 1: I was engaged for ten years, you know, because I 747 00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:21,880 Speaker 1: kept calling it off, calling it off. 748 00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:23,160 Speaker 5: And he was like, you keep getting these degrees. 749 00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:24,720 Speaker 1: You keep saying, wait for the next degree where you 750 00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:26,720 Speaker 1: get married, and my time I want to get my doctor. 751 00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:28,320 Speaker 5: He's like, baby, you done got four degrees. 752 00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:29,920 Speaker 3: Engage. 753 00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,080 Speaker 1: You know, I can't putting it off because I knew 754 00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:33,160 Speaker 1: that that wasn't my person. 755 00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:39,120 Speaker 5: And I ended up leaving. I ended up leaving him, 756 00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:40,920 Speaker 5: you know, unfortunate for him. 757 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:43,160 Speaker 2: Ten years. 758 00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:45,200 Speaker 5: And she said he was a great guy, great guy. 759 00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:47,600 Speaker 5: He was a great guy. He just wasn't my guy, right, 760 00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:48,040 Speaker 5: And so. 761 00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:50,280 Speaker 4: For ten years he thought he was the guy for 762 00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:51,600 Speaker 4: ten year while you let him go be great with 763 00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:53,280 Speaker 4: somebody else that would appreciate him and love him. 764 00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:59,080 Speaker 5: About to jump. I love that question. I love the question. 765 00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:01,280 Speaker 5: So I'm I'm saying for ten years, I knew he 766 00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:01,960 Speaker 5: wasn't the one. 767 00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:04,040 Speaker 1: When we got about year number five or six, and 768 00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:07,239 Speaker 1: I seen that his work ethic and his ability to 769 00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:12,520 Speaker 1: provide at the level that I wanted our family to 770 00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:15,879 Speaker 1: be at. I knew that he wasn't mine my guy. 771 00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:17,960 Speaker 1: And when I say provide, I'm not talking about like 772 00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:20,040 Speaker 1: he was making six figures and I was like, now 773 00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:20,720 Speaker 1: make millions. 774 00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:23,360 Speaker 5: I'm saying. His thing was, baby, I'm cool with me. 775 00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:26,400 Speaker 1: You a dog in a one bedjom apartment and just 776 00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:28,719 Speaker 1: no work ethic at all. So for the first six years, 777 00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:30,440 Speaker 1: I thought, while I'm out here getting it. I have 778 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:33,279 Speaker 1: a legal company, you know, I own property. I'm only 779 00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:35,359 Speaker 1: twenty two. I'm getting all these college degrees. How can 780 00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:37,520 Speaker 1: he not be inspired by me? See that's that age 781 00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:40,920 Speaker 1: appropriate young woman. He got potential. Let me stay. That's 782 00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:42,839 Speaker 1: why people should take their time. But when I seen 783 00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:44,399 Speaker 1: your number seven and eight, this guy was the same 784 00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:47,560 Speaker 1: guy who was. You know, I hate talking because he's 785 00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:48,960 Speaker 1: such a good guy. I always protect him when I 786 00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:50,839 Speaker 1: talk about him. But where he was lazy and had 787 00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:52,800 Speaker 1: no work ethic, I had a pivot. 788 00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:53,720 Speaker 5: I had a pivot. 789 00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:56,279 Speaker 2: He did that you wanted because he worked right, but 790 00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:56,799 Speaker 2: he just didn't. 791 00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:01,320 Speaker 1: He was that your ideas were different. At some point 792 00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:06,759 Speaker 1: he just decided to not work at all. He just 793 00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:09,279 Speaker 1: said he had a mixed ape. He started off in 794 00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:13,200 Speaker 1: pharmaceutical cells, a very educated young man, went to BYU 795 00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:16,120 Speaker 1: D One college, did his same, very much like the 796 00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:19,160 Speaker 1: boy next door, mixed kid, and you know, and so 797 00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:23,160 Speaker 1: it was all really good. Came from a really amazing family. 798 00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:25,600 Speaker 1: Parents still married. I think they're on like forty five years. 799 00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:27,960 Speaker 5: You just want more. I wanted more. 800 00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:30,600 Speaker 1: And if he would have said we can have more 801 00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:32,160 Speaker 1: and girl, I would have rolled with him. But when 802 00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:35,520 Speaker 1: he said I don't want anymore and I'm cool with this, 803 00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:39,000 Speaker 1: it goes to your question. Then I had to choose 804 00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:41,400 Speaker 1: what I was choosing. I was choosing a man. I 805 00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:43,520 Speaker 1: wasn't choosing marriage. I didn't grow up the little girl 806 00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:47,359 Speaker 1: that wanted marriage in this white pick of fence. I 807 00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:50,120 Speaker 1: wanted just to be honest. I wanted money and power 808 00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:53,560 Speaker 1: to change a trajectory of a community. I wanted a 809 00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:56,000 Speaker 1: platform to be able to shift people so they have 810 00:35:56,040 --> 00:35:58,319 Speaker 1: a better life, so they can take their pain like 811 00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:00,640 Speaker 1: I did and find some peace out of it and 812 00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:02,680 Speaker 1: make peace from the broken pieces. So I never grew 813 00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:04,680 Speaker 1: up thinking I just And I also had a father. 814 00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:07,120 Speaker 1: I had a daddy who doted on me. I'm a 815 00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:09,360 Speaker 1: product of a street dude. And if anyone knows a 816 00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:11,560 Speaker 1: street dude the way they love their daughters when they're involved, 817 00:36:12,239 --> 00:36:15,480 Speaker 1: your god, Your God is to them, your priendcess. I mean, 818 00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:18,640 Speaker 1: I didn't have man problems like that, and so I 819 00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:21,320 Speaker 1: didn't wasn't looking for a man outside to convalidate me. 820 00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:23,600 Speaker 1: So when I get in relationships, till to this day, 821 00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:24,719 Speaker 1: I'm still choosing the man. 822 00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:27,520 Speaker 5: Did he acquire more in the future, No, he's still 823 00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:29,680 Speaker 5: in the same place. So I made the right decision. 824 00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:32,600 Speaker 6: What was the conversation that last conversation y'all had when 825 00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:33,879 Speaker 6: you decided to leave him? 826 00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:35,680 Speaker 3: And how did he reacts? 827 00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:39,480 Speaker 4: You can said, keep the dog. 828 00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:43,160 Speaker 1: No, he was in tears and I wasn't tears. We 829 00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:45,520 Speaker 1: were sitting there crying, and he said, he said, I 830 00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:48,040 Speaker 1: knew it. I was a buffer for you. He said 831 00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:49,799 Speaker 1: I was a buffer for you. He said, I just 832 00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:55,520 Speaker 1: knew it. And he said, you're with me because you're 833 00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:57,279 Speaker 1: too insecure to be with who you really want to 834 00:36:57,280 --> 00:36:59,279 Speaker 1: be with, A type of guy, not a particular guy, 835 00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:03,600 Speaker 1: of the type of guy. I said, you're right, You're right, 836 00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:07,040 Speaker 1: And as years went on, that was some of the 837 00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:09,120 Speaker 1: best advice that I was able to acquire because I 838 00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:09,920 Speaker 1: was able to work. 839 00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:11,160 Speaker 5: On myself and he was right. 840 00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:13,799 Speaker 1: Because the type of man that I now date with 841 00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:16,040 Speaker 1: that alpha and this, with that leadership, the space that 842 00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:19,000 Speaker 1: he needs so he can even be with me right 843 00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:21,799 Speaker 1: is a different type of space, a different type of woman. 844 00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:24,440 Speaker 1: So I had to shift, not change, shifts a lot 845 00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:27,560 Speaker 1: of things in me that had to do with insecurity, 846 00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:30,840 Speaker 1: because my mom being in her addiction creating abandonment in me. 847 00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:35,120 Speaker 1: I had attachment anxiety. And so when you're you know, 848 00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:37,200 Speaker 1: in order to have a man who's doing well, who's successful, 849 00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:40,799 Speaker 1: and he's in his alpha, the healthy alpha, that man 850 00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:43,000 Speaker 1: is moving and group and he's doing certain things, he 851 00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:43,880 Speaker 1: don't have time. 852 00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:45,640 Speaker 5: For a woman with no damn attachment anxiety. 853 00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:48,640 Speaker 1: Meaning when he's making moves to better this household and 854 00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:50,719 Speaker 1: he's making moves to bear this family. I got to 855 00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:52,440 Speaker 1: be able to be solid and vertical in myself and 856 00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:54,200 Speaker 1: who I am to hold the house down. I can't 857 00:37:54,239 --> 00:37:56,960 Speaker 1: be insecure when he's traveling or doing things or he's 858 00:37:56,960 --> 00:37:57,799 Speaker 1: not right up under me. 859 00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:00,120 Speaker 5: I had to work through that attachment anxiety. 860 00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:03,279 Speaker 4: I got a couple of questions right, like one, I 861 00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:05,480 Speaker 4: want to know what is your definition of a high 862 00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:07,560 Speaker 4: value man. That's morn and then too, what you said 863 00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:10,600 Speaker 4: about attachment anxiety. Is it okay for the woman to 864 00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:14,080 Speaker 4: feel insecure if she knows this man ain't really out 865 00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:14,800 Speaker 4: here doing. 866 00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:19,080 Speaker 1: That's called discernment, OK, call him out on that, and 867 00:38:19,120 --> 00:38:20,080 Speaker 1: I mean transparency. 868 00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:20,400 Speaker 5: What's up? 869 00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:22,560 Speaker 1: I'm feeling some type of way. What's going on? 870 00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:24,839 Speaker 5: What are you doing? I'm feeling this way. 871 00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:27,840 Speaker 1: And I just think two respectful people who are choosing 872 00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:30,480 Speaker 1: each other and not just the relationship, are going to 873 00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:33,200 Speaker 1: have those conversations. And that's what those older couples who've 874 00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:34,320 Speaker 1: been married twenty thirty years. 875 00:38:34,239 --> 00:38:34,719 Speaker 5: Is teaching you. 876 00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:37,680 Speaker 1: How you have those conversations. And Baby, when your man 877 00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:39,680 Speaker 1: tell you he out here turning corners, he's not really 878 00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:42,480 Speaker 1: turning bills, how do you stick through that? How do 879 00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:45,479 Speaker 1: you stay without losing your dignity? How do you still 880 00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:48,120 Speaker 1: be to submit to this man, cooking and cleaning and 881 00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:51,440 Speaker 1: having sex, making love to this man without being disgusted 882 00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:55,000 Speaker 1: at the fact that he's either stepped out emotionally, physically 883 00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:55,560 Speaker 1: or mentally. 884 00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:57,160 Speaker 5: How do you keep that? How do you keep going? 885 00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:58,759 Speaker 3: I was gonna act, that was gonna be That's what 886 00:38:58,800 --> 00:38:59,440 Speaker 3: the older folks say. 887 00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:01,279 Speaker 1: They don't tell you to be happy and be They 888 00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:03,399 Speaker 1: telling you how to roll through and stick through some ship. 889 00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:04,560 Speaker 5: That's what they're teaching you. 890 00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:09,840 Speaker 7: Well, my grandfather was like, leave that bitch, yeah, because 891 00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:12,880 Speaker 7: he that's to be like back in the day that 892 00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:16,080 Speaker 7: he was still with you know, my grandmother. But he 893 00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:19,239 Speaker 7: just still was just like, man, like leave that bitch now, 894 00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:23,320 Speaker 7: because I would have left this bitch back in the day. 895 00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:25,240 Speaker 5: Grandpa, because I've been leaving. 896 00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:27,600 Speaker 1: But now now I say, I'm in my choosing stage 897 00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:30,200 Speaker 1: and I'm really looking forward to staying. But it will 898 00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:32,840 Speaker 1: be my first time utilizing a lot of my new tools. 899 00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:35,439 Speaker 1: Not new meaning a year ago, but you knew because 900 00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:38,120 Speaker 1: I've been single six years of this attachment anxiety, I've 901 00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:41,120 Speaker 1: how to work through of what that looks like. So 902 00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:42,960 Speaker 1: there's gonna be things in me that are new that 903 00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:45,080 Speaker 1: inflame and trigger that. I'm going to have to have 904 00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:47,240 Speaker 1: a hell of a man who's mature enough, emostly intelligent 905 00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:49,600 Speaker 1: enough to sit through certain conversations with me that. 906 00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:50,520 Speaker 5: Are going to be transparent. 907 00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:52,239 Speaker 4: So what is a high value man because I heard 908 00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:54,759 Speaker 4: you reference cam is a high value man with a 909 00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:55,520 Speaker 4: low value I. 910 00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:57,560 Speaker 5: Guess just a low vibrational fund. 911 00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:00,320 Speaker 4: So what is your definition of high value because to me, 912 00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:02,279 Speaker 4: it just sounds like high value to you is like 913 00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:03,200 Speaker 4: superficial stuff. 914 00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:06,640 Speaker 1: High value just means that you're, yeah, it's pretty much 915 00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:08,600 Speaker 1: like you're you're making a lot of money, you have 916 00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:12,120 Speaker 1: a lot of tangible things, your high value value, your 917 00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:14,560 Speaker 1: value is high, and your monetary value values high. Meaning 918 00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:17,239 Speaker 1: you know, you got a man who's making one hundred 919 00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:21,680 Speaker 1: million dollars, then he's high value in women who are superficial. 920 00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:25,000 Speaker 1: But I'm not knocking y'all say it's okay, are very 921 00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:27,480 Speaker 1: attracted to that, But again, are they choosing the man 922 00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:29,200 Speaker 1: or are they choosing the value? 923 00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:29,960 Speaker 3: The value? 924 00:40:30,239 --> 00:40:32,320 Speaker 4: But some people are so poor all they got is money. 925 00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:34,319 Speaker 5: And social you know what I mean? 926 00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:37,320 Speaker 1: And that goes to where this is going to be 927 00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:40,239 Speaker 1: a very very unpopular opinion or very popular, but it's 928 00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:42,440 Speaker 1: going to cause a lot of controversy. I always say, 929 00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:46,799 Speaker 1: if you realize the most prettiest, beautiful woman, many of 930 00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:49,960 Speaker 1: them men have put a baby in him, but the 931 00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:50,760 Speaker 1: ain't made a wife. 932 00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:52,240 Speaker 5: Out of him. 933 00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:54,560 Speaker 1: And I go to the high value men have put 934 00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:56,879 Speaker 1: babies in him, but the ain't made a wife out of him. 935 00:40:57,120 --> 00:41:00,200 Speaker 1: Because those women are choosing the value in them, and 936 00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:02,399 Speaker 1: those men are choosing the low functionality in her. 937 00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:05,000 Speaker 5: So that's a match made in heaven for them. 938 00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:07,360 Speaker 1: Even though the fairy tale ends at some point and 939 00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:09,640 Speaker 1: everybody goes back to the drawing board and comes into 940 00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:12,000 Speaker 1: my session and says, because I can now least, I 941 00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:14,879 Speaker 1: can now might have some very very aless celebrity woman 942 00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:17,960 Speaker 1: who come in and say, I'm beautiful, I'm successful, I 943 00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:20,640 Speaker 1: can have any man I want. I'm lonely as hell, 944 00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:24,319 Speaker 1: and I'm afraid that I'm a die alone. But you 945 00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:27,560 Speaker 1: have a child, You've been married to this a list 946 00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:32,359 Speaker 1: big NBA player, and the relationship is now over, and 947 00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:34,360 Speaker 1: you feel like you're going to be alone because you 948 00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:37,279 Speaker 1: never learned to choose anything of substance. 949 00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:38,640 Speaker 5: So you will hollow the whole time. 950 00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:42,160 Speaker 1: So you're not afraid of being alone physically, you're afraid 951 00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:46,160 Speaker 1: of being alone emotionally because you've been alone this whole time, 952 00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:48,440 Speaker 1: So you don't even have a relationship with yourself. So 953 00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:50,560 Speaker 1: who you really don't want to be with is you? 954 00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:52,000 Speaker 1: So why should we call alone? 955 00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:52,799 Speaker 5: Is about being with you? 956 00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:54,839 Speaker 3: So why should we call those brothers high value? 957 00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:55,040 Speaker 4: Then? 958 00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:59,200 Speaker 5: Because value based on how I define it. It's just money. 959 00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:01,400 Speaker 5: Like I'm a high to a woman. Right, I have 960 00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:03,839 Speaker 5: a MultiMate home. I come from the hood. I went 961 00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:04,720 Speaker 5: from the hood to the hills. 962 00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:07,480 Speaker 1: But I've accumulated a lot of value. 963 00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:10,600 Speaker 5: Right. I drive luxury cars. I have a certain lifestyle. 964 00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:14,000 Speaker 1: But I would be low functioning if I pray it 965 00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:16,840 Speaker 1: on men that I know I can use. If I 966 00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:18,879 Speaker 1: pray it on men that I know, I can say, eat, 967 00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:20,960 Speaker 1: sleep and put me and shut up while I go 968 00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:23,200 Speaker 1: run a monk, be in your beta. Because I said so, 969 00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:26,520 Speaker 1: that's low functioning of me. High value and high. 970 00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:27,160 Speaker 5: Functioning would be. 971 00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:29,480 Speaker 1: Now, I want a man who can stand on he 972 00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:33,120 Speaker 1: got he's vertical because every human being is a hybrid. 973 00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:35,439 Speaker 1: We're all high functioning and low functioning. So there's gonna 974 00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:36,920 Speaker 1: be moments where I get in my low functioning. And 975 00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:38,439 Speaker 1: if I get in my low functioning and I start 976 00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:40,920 Speaker 1: to say things that are emasculating to you, I don't 977 00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:43,400 Speaker 1: want a low functioning man. I want you to say, baby, 978 00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:46,359 Speaker 1: I don't talk to you like that, and I don't 979 00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:47,840 Speaker 1: like when you talk to me like that. I'm not 980 00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:51,080 Speaker 1: gonna leave you, but we gotta work on this. Because 981 00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:54,000 Speaker 1: I'm not some nothing else, nigga. You know, and I 982 00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:55,799 Speaker 1: love you and I respect you, So let's work through this. 983 00:42:56,080 --> 00:42:57,560 Speaker 4: Well, if you got a high value man, he got 984 00:42:57,600 --> 00:42:59,520 Speaker 4: all the money, he might even be. 985 00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:03,120 Speaker 5: An alpha with a big little and he trash in bed. 986 00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:05,800 Speaker 5: So then what's because you understand? 987 00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:06,560 Speaker 8: Because you can't. 988 00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:10,400 Speaker 3: You ain't gonna let him talk to you in your 989 00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:10,960 Speaker 3: kind of way. 990 00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:15,160 Speaker 4: Listen, you ain't gonna let him talk you in your 991 00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:15,560 Speaker 4: kind of way. 992 00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:16,000 Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying. 993 00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:16,760 Speaker 8: He can be the output. 994 00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:18,920 Speaker 3: You ain't let him talk to you any kind of way. 995 00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:21,080 Speaker 5: That mouth go crazy. 996 00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:25,920 Speaker 1: If I had to choose between a little pito okay 997 00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:30,440 Speaker 1: in my Spanish speaking language, little little pets and a 998 00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:33,719 Speaker 1: family hell of a good man, take give me the 999 00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:36,000 Speaker 1: little dick and a good man. Because remember, I'm choosing 1000 00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:40,880 Speaker 1: the man. I'm not choosing these these ornaments. And I 1001 00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:43,960 Speaker 1: know and I'm this is the thing. Men don't understand this. 1002 00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:46,560 Speaker 1: A woman just needs a big dick when you don't 1003 00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:49,280 Speaker 1: know how to truly love and connect with you. Once 1004 00:43:49,320 --> 00:43:51,040 Speaker 1: we love you and connect with you, we love, and 1005 00:43:51,080 --> 00:43:53,480 Speaker 1: we when we love, we love, especially black women. When 1006 00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:56,640 Speaker 1: we love, we love, we're figuring out how to work 1007 00:43:56,640 --> 00:44:01,399 Speaker 1: with that little thing. You got to like we when 1008 00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:04,839 Speaker 1: we love you, we love you and we figure out 1009 00:44:04,880 --> 00:44:05,960 Speaker 1: how to make it do what to do? 1010 00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:07,080 Speaker 5: You got women who are with. 1011 00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:09,960 Speaker 1: Men who got little penises and pay nobiles because she 1012 00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:10,759 Speaker 1: love him. 1013 00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:12,560 Speaker 5: Now that's not DOC approved. 1014 00:44:12,920 --> 00:44:15,799 Speaker 1: But that's not DOC approved. But so for me, I 1015 00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:18,359 Speaker 1: don't want I'm not manifesting God the little pizza type thing. 1016 00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:21,759 Speaker 5: But you know if it, yeah, and this is this 1017 00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:22,640 Speaker 5: is probably gonna be tm I. 1018 00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:24,840 Speaker 1: But I always joke about with my best friend Lola, 1019 00:44:24,920 --> 00:44:27,880 Speaker 1: and my assistant always say, girl, I'm not the woman 1020 00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:31,520 Speaker 1: who needs a big old penis me either way a minute, 1021 00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:35,160 Speaker 1: But I said, why do God always send me the men? 1022 00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:42,719 Speaker 5: See? 1023 00:44:52,239 --> 00:44:53,920 Speaker 3: That's right, and that got to be inclusive. 1024 00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:56,359 Speaker 2: But I want to I want to ask you about 1025 00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:58,520 Speaker 2: some some internet rumors that I see. You know, Corey 1026 00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:00,759 Speaker 2: hole Comes said some some things about you, about not 1027 00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:03,919 Speaker 2: having your degree and where you started off all as 1028 00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:05,600 Speaker 2: a I guess working in the strip club is any 1029 00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:07,440 Speaker 2: of that stuff? So you're not a real doctor, he said, yeah, 1030 00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:08,240 Speaker 2: you're not a real doctor. 1031 00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:11,440 Speaker 1: No. So I have four degrees, three are in psychology, 1032 00:45:11,480 --> 00:45:15,360 Speaker 1: ones and Pan African studies. My doctor degree is in 1033 00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:17,920 Speaker 1: counseling psychology my master's the marriage, I'm my child therapy. 1034 00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:19,680 Speaker 5: All degrees are in psychology. 1035 00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:23,560 Speaker 1: Where this Corey Holcom thing comes from is we did. 1036 00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:26,960 Speaker 1: I was on a show ten years ago when I actually, 1037 00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:28,680 Speaker 1: I think it's before I even had my doctor degree. 1038 00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:32,120 Speaker 1: And Corey is used to being able to be very 1039 00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:36,440 Speaker 1: disrespectful to women and doing things. He was a guest 1040 00:45:36,440 --> 00:45:36,839 Speaker 1: on the show. 1041 00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:37,560 Speaker 5: I was co hosted. 1042 00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:42,200 Speaker 1: He was a guest, and I drill disasked, be honest, 1043 00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:44,480 Speaker 1: it's on YouTube, people, could you know look at it? 1044 00:45:44,560 --> 00:45:46,480 Speaker 1: And I cut into him and I said, you seem 1045 00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:49,400 Speaker 1: like you are inferior to white man, and you seem 1046 00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:51,120 Speaker 1: like you got daddy issues, and you seem like you 1047 00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:54,520 Speaker 1: got mommy issues, and you got kids that don't even 1048 00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:55,520 Speaker 1: talk to you or respect you. 1049 00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:57,279 Speaker 5: They don't like you. It tell us a lot about 1050 00:45:57,280 --> 00:45:57,719 Speaker 5: your character. 1051 00:45:57,880 --> 00:46:00,759 Speaker 1: This was ten years ago, okay, and obviously he's still 1052 00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:02,960 Speaker 1: in his feminine because he's still holding a grudge over it. 1053 00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:05,000 Speaker 1: You know, this is like interviews are interviews, so you're 1054 00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:06,720 Speaker 1: saying you're doing and you move on to the next 1055 00:46:07,080 --> 00:46:10,600 Speaker 1: And so was very upset and I felt like that 1056 00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:14,319 Speaker 1: in that space he was y'all could watch it. He 1057 00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:16,440 Speaker 1: was done found it like usually he comes back with 1058 00:46:16,480 --> 00:46:18,160 Speaker 1: the you know, f you b or he has something 1059 00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:19,919 Speaker 1: to say, or he's you know, he got a mouth. 1060 00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:23,240 Speaker 5: He was really just like, you know, a deer with headlights. 1061 00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:24,239 Speaker 5: He was just like, oh my god. 1062 00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:28,400 Speaker 1: The interviewer, the person podcast was on, everybody else is 1063 00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:31,160 Speaker 1: in there was like, We've never seen Corey be this quiet. 1064 00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:34,600 Speaker 1: We've never seen anybody be able to respectfully check him 1065 00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:36,680 Speaker 1: in this way. After we were done with the interview, 1066 00:46:36,719 --> 00:46:38,560 Speaker 1: we went to take a big picture on the backsplash 1067 00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:39,719 Speaker 1: and I would walk up toward him. 1068 00:46:39,719 --> 00:46:41,360 Speaker 5: You know my personality, I'm very playful. I walked up 1069 00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:43,200 Speaker 5: and I'm like, let's take a picture. He wanted to 1070 00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:45,239 Speaker 5: fill in the picture. Ten years later. 1071 00:46:45,280 --> 00:46:47,120 Speaker 1: I think he looked at it with his feil comedian 1072 00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:50,200 Speaker 1: career because he's been attempting his career for about forty 1073 00:46:50,239 --> 00:46:52,279 Speaker 1: five or so years, with the spale comedian career, his 1074 00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:53,920 Speaker 1: failed marriage and I'm not saying this to be mean, 1075 00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:56,239 Speaker 1: y'all can just research it his true and his spelle 1076 00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:58,440 Speaker 1: parenting skills with his kids because none of those people 1077 00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:00,480 Speaker 1: deal with him. Yeah, I think he looked at it 1078 00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:03,720 Speaker 1: like there's I get to kill two birds of one Stone, 1079 00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:07,440 Speaker 1: which was smart. I get to humiliate her back in 1080 00:47:07,480 --> 00:47:09,440 Speaker 1: some kind of way, which it didn't work, and or 1081 00:47:09,480 --> 00:47:11,520 Speaker 1: I get to ride on her back because she's going viral. 1082 00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:12,960 Speaker 1: I don't have a career. 1083 00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:15,200 Speaker 5: I do. He doesn't have a career. So you guys 1084 00:47:15,239 --> 00:47:17,120 Speaker 5: do a comedy career. He does stand up. 1085 00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:19,560 Speaker 4: Me just stays in fifty one fifty other big podcast 1086 00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:20,400 Speaker 4: and he does stand up. 1087 00:47:21,120 --> 00:47:22,600 Speaker 3: Well, what do you know yet? 1088 00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:24,879 Speaker 5: What? Thank you? We're back. 1089 00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:27,080 Speaker 1: She got a good career, but it knows we're back. 1090 00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:30,520 Speaker 1: So the point is I think that he did. And 1091 00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:32,960 Speaker 1: at this part, I'm not knocking in for he did 1092 00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:36,400 Speaker 1: what any to meet career oriented business person was supposed 1093 00:47:36,400 --> 00:47:38,719 Speaker 1: to do. I see an opportunity, let me take it, 1094 00:47:38,800 --> 00:47:41,839 Speaker 1: let me create a narrative. But what happened was all 1095 00:47:41,880 --> 00:47:44,800 Speaker 1: it did was bring more tentations to damned doctor Bryant. 1096 00:47:45,120 --> 00:47:47,120 Speaker 1: So all people did was research me more, which is 1097 00:47:47,120 --> 00:47:49,440 Speaker 1: what I wanted them to do. All people did was 1098 00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:51,600 Speaker 1: find out for themselves. She is a real doctor. She 1099 00:47:51,719 --> 00:47:53,919 Speaker 1: has these degrees. She's been doing this for a long time. 1100 00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:56,880 Speaker 1: This woman started off from Teen Mom a Family Reunion, 1101 00:47:56,920 --> 00:47:59,279 Speaker 1: which we were the biggest show on MTV. She not 1102 00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:01,839 Speaker 1: only was the camera life Coach Doctor for that show. 1103 00:48:01,960 --> 00:48:04,759 Speaker 1: She co produced it and developed the show. So what 1104 00:48:04,920 --> 00:48:07,719 Speaker 1: happened was he brought attention to where people were able 1105 00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:08,960 Speaker 1: to go in and do what I want them to do, 1106 00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:11,440 Speaker 1: which was research more of me, get more background on me, 1107 00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:13,279 Speaker 1: and say, hey, let me make my own opinion about her. 1108 00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:16,800 Speaker 1: And again, you know, as my really good friend Shaquillo 1109 00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:18,560 Speaker 1: and El says, which is one of my you know, 1110 00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:21,799 Speaker 1: we've become pretty much like best friends. Now he's like Doc, 1111 00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:26,759 Speaker 1: He's like, you know, he says as I hate when 1112 00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:28,439 Speaker 1: he says it, but I love it. He goes, Doc, 1113 00:48:28,680 --> 00:48:33,640 Speaker 1: trust from babies, don't give attention to the ones who 1114 00:48:33,680 --> 00:48:36,160 Speaker 1: have nothing, he goes, So let the good and bad 1115 00:48:36,160 --> 00:48:37,960 Speaker 1: attention do what it does for you. 1116 00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:39,399 Speaker 5: Let it do what it does. 1117 00:48:39,719 --> 00:48:41,960 Speaker 1: And I'm not a trust from baby. But what Shaqa 1118 00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:46,480 Speaker 1: is saying is when you hear and they hear, all 1119 00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:49,440 Speaker 1: it does is magnify you. Right, the small dog has 1120 00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:52,120 Speaker 1: to stain the small dog park. They're just not allowing 1121 00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:54,040 Speaker 1: the big dog park. The big dogs can go to 1122 00:48:54,080 --> 00:48:56,279 Speaker 1: the small dog park and we dominate either way. 1123 00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:57,920 Speaker 4: Would you have a commisation to record now, like when 1124 00:48:57,920 --> 00:49:00,000 Speaker 4: you going fifty on fifty or have the month truth talk. 1125 00:49:00,560 --> 00:49:03,080 Speaker 5: I would not only because. 1126 00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:08,880 Speaker 1: Corey's and I'm only talking about this on here because 1127 00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:11,719 Speaker 1: when I did Nick and other interviews and other other 1128 00:49:11,719 --> 00:49:14,840 Speaker 1: places I've interviewed with who are also, you know, as big. 1129 00:49:14,680 --> 00:49:15,759 Speaker 5: As Breakfast Club? 1130 00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:18,200 Speaker 1: Well, who's bigger than Breafast Club though, y'all? But I 1131 00:49:18,200 --> 00:49:19,520 Speaker 1: also told them I said I'm not I'm not going 1132 00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:21,640 Speaker 1: to address him period. I don't want to bring any 1133 00:49:21,640 --> 00:49:26,160 Speaker 1: attention to him or give him the fume that he needs. Because, again, Charlotte, 1134 00:49:26,280 --> 00:49:28,360 Speaker 1: I hear what you're saying. But he has a total 1135 00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:32,000 Speaker 1: failed career, a total fled, total fail career as a comedian. 1136 00:49:32,560 --> 00:49:33,280 Speaker 5: Is he funny? 1137 00:49:33,719 --> 00:49:36,279 Speaker 1: There's some things he says, yes, that are funny. Has 1138 00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:40,080 Speaker 1: he made it to any place past a podcast of 1139 00:49:40,160 --> 00:49:42,520 Speaker 1: a group of men who agree with just a rhetoric 1140 00:49:42,560 --> 00:49:47,200 Speaker 1: that's just a very negative, distorted narrative of black people 1141 00:49:47,200 --> 00:49:51,120 Speaker 1: in general, especially women. Kevin Samuels spent only two years 1142 00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:54,000 Speaker 1: doing what Corey does and had a better career than Corey. 1143 00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:55,600 Speaker 5: Corey been doing it for forty fifty years. 1144 00:49:55,800 --> 00:49:59,359 Speaker 1: He was at improv in LA and can't even get 1145 00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:04,160 Speaker 1: a job there, So that doesn't go to his comedic abilities. 1146 00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:06,840 Speaker 1: That goes to his lack of character. Nobody wanting to 1147 00:50:06,840 --> 00:50:09,600 Speaker 1: work with you. You have gifts and you have professionalism. 1148 00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:11,120 Speaker 1: You got to have both to make it. 1149 00:50:11,239 --> 00:50:13,319 Speaker 7: Corey is just a broken person, period, and I do 1150 00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:15,040 Speaker 7: feel like you'll need help. 1151 00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:16,479 Speaker 3: He needs help. 1152 00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:17,520 Speaker 5: Corey needs off camera. 1153 00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:19,160 Speaker 1: If Corey came to again and said, doc, let's do 1154 00:50:19,239 --> 00:50:23,560 Speaker 1: off camera sessions, if he wants to do it on camera, 1155 00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:25,400 Speaker 1: because it's just going to be a rhetoric, I'm not 1156 00:50:25,480 --> 00:50:28,000 Speaker 1: doing that to help his career. I will help him 1157 00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:31,160 Speaker 1: as a man, but I'm not here to help him 1158 00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:33,480 Speaker 1: in his career. That's his job. I'm not here to 1159 00:50:33,520 --> 00:50:35,279 Speaker 1: carry a man that ain't minds or float a man 1160 00:50:35,320 --> 00:50:37,400 Speaker 1: that ain't mind, but to help you with your mental 1161 00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:40,440 Speaker 1: health or help you as a person. He's an alcoholic. 1162 00:50:40,520 --> 00:50:43,320 Speaker 1: He drinks a lot. You know he's he's over compensating. 1163 00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:45,920 Speaker 1: Those areas, those are places he needs help with. Did 1164 00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:47,319 Speaker 1: you guys see what he looked like. 1165 00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:48,320 Speaker 5: On Cam Newton interview. 1166 00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:51,520 Speaker 1: I'm not talking about looks many attractiveness. Do you see 1167 00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:57,680 Speaker 1: how unwell hygienically clean he looks? Let me say what, No, 1168 00:50:57,760 --> 00:50:59,080 Speaker 1: this ties into mental health. 1169 00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:04,840 Speaker 3: You know that she's an assassiny, but health right, you. 1170 00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:09,480 Speaker 1: Run, you ran up Actually an amazing organized mental wealth experts. 1171 00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:09,799 Speaker 3: Thank you. 1172 00:51:09,920 --> 00:51:11,920 Speaker 1: It will think I was so honored and privileged to 1173 00:51:11,960 --> 00:51:14,160 Speaker 1: be that it was amazing. But I want to say 1174 00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:17,320 Speaker 1: thank you that we know that keeping up your hygiene 1175 00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:22,000 Speaker 1: is one of the number one symptoms to depression. The 1176 00:51:22,120 --> 00:51:24,560 Speaker 1: number one way you're able to see that somebody's depressed 1177 00:51:24,840 --> 00:51:29,400 Speaker 1: or in their addiction or over compensating and addictive behaviors 1178 00:51:29,680 --> 00:51:32,160 Speaker 1: is how they keep themself up. That's how parents could 1179 00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:34,160 Speaker 1: look at their kids and be like, you're not a bathing, 1180 00:51:34,840 --> 00:51:37,080 Speaker 1: your hygiene is not up to par. What's going on? 1181 00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:40,759 Speaker 1: That man's hygiene was on negative two hundred. What I'm 1182 00:51:40,760 --> 00:51:43,480 Speaker 1: saying is he needs deeper help than me coming on 1183 00:51:43,520 --> 00:51:46,840 Speaker 1: fifty one to fifty to bring him a bigger audience. 1184 00:51:48,080 --> 00:51:50,000 Speaker 1: He can seal the fifty one fifty, but he needs 1185 00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:52,960 Speaker 1: to be able to fifty one fifty himself and get 1186 00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:53,680 Speaker 1: the help that he needs. 1187 00:51:54,160 --> 00:51:57,160 Speaker 5: Lord doctor was talking. 1188 00:51:57,520 --> 00:51:59,520 Speaker 4: You were talking earlier about growing up in the wrong 1189 00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:02,239 Speaker 4: and vine and you learn what not to do. And 1190 00:52:02,280 --> 00:52:04,960 Speaker 4: I think that is difficult for a lot of parents, 1191 00:52:05,040 --> 00:52:07,320 Speaker 4: right because, like I always say, my father raised me 1192 00:52:07,360 --> 00:52:09,560 Speaker 4: out of fear and not love because he didn't want 1193 00:52:09,600 --> 00:52:12,600 Speaker 4: me to make the same mistakes that he may growing 1194 00:52:12,680 --> 00:52:15,400 Speaker 4: up in the same environment. Right, So what would you 1195 00:52:15,440 --> 00:52:18,480 Speaker 4: say to you know, parents who are who are navigating that, 1196 00:52:18,840 --> 00:52:21,840 Speaker 4: like who have kids? You know y'all are they're in 1197 00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:24,040 Speaker 4: the same environment that you grew up in and you 1198 00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:25,680 Speaker 4: want them to get out of it, but you weren't 1199 00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:27,640 Speaker 4: even able to navigate. 1200 00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:27,880 Speaker 5: Through it yourself. 1201 00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:31,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that again, seeking wise counsel. I think 1202 00:52:31,640 --> 00:52:34,960 Speaker 1: that therapy coaching should be a lifestyle. It shouldn't be 1203 00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:38,880 Speaker 1: something that someone does for preventitive or intervention measures. And 1204 00:52:38,920 --> 00:52:41,000 Speaker 1: I think that parents need to just be one hundred 1205 00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:43,240 Speaker 1: and transparent with their kids. I think they need to say, listen, 1206 00:52:44,880 --> 00:52:46,120 Speaker 1: this is my first time. 1207 00:52:46,160 --> 00:52:48,160 Speaker 5: Doing you, raising you, knowing you. 1208 00:52:48,840 --> 00:52:52,799 Speaker 1: I've I've never known a fifteen year old you, so 1209 00:52:52,960 --> 00:52:54,160 Speaker 1: I don't know what to do here. 1210 00:52:54,640 --> 00:52:55,000 Speaker 5: You know what I mean. 1211 00:52:55,040 --> 00:52:56,600 Speaker 1: Let's sit down a dialogue. Can you use some of 1212 00:52:56,640 --> 00:52:59,280 Speaker 1: your critical thinking skills? Do you have resources at your school? 1213 00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:01,799 Speaker 5: Help me? Let me help you. Let's do this. 1214 00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:04,880 Speaker 1: I think the transparency of it is what allows kids 1215 00:53:05,080 --> 00:53:06,719 Speaker 1: to be vertical on who they are. I think that 1216 00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:10,800 Speaker 1: handing them everything problems solving for them and doing everything 1217 00:53:10,800 --> 00:53:14,520 Speaker 1: for them, especially men. It handicaps y'all. So when you 1218 00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:16,879 Speaker 1: have to be the head, you now have a mother 1219 00:53:16,920 --> 00:53:19,359 Speaker 1: who taught you how to be the neck, and then 1220 00:53:19,400 --> 00:53:21,080 Speaker 1: you want to be mad at a woman who comes 1221 00:53:21,080 --> 00:53:23,479 Speaker 1: in and she has to be in her alpha, because 1222 00:53:23,520 --> 00:53:25,080 Speaker 1: who the hell is going to be the head to 1223 00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:25,440 Speaker 1: this thing? 1224 00:53:26,640 --> 00:53:27,960 Speaker 5: So I think it's about transparency. 1225 00:53:27,960 --> 00:53:29,880 Speaker 1: And I think parents got to stop having this mommy 1226 00:53:29,920 --> 00:53:31,920 Speaker 1: daddy guilt and stop feeling like they have to be 1227 00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:34,799 Speaker 1: this perfect parent. I think your kids seeing your vulnerability 1228 00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:37,919 Speaker 1: and your imperfections will actually aid them in ways more 1229 00:53:37,960 --> 00:53:39,120 Speaker 1: than them seeing your perfection. 1230 00:53:39,400 --> 00:53:40,959 Speaker 2: You think kids are too soft. 1231 00:53:41,280 --> 00:53:43,439 Speaker 5: I think parents are too soft. Kids are too soft 1232 00:53:43,440 --> 00:53:43,799 Speaker 5: these days. 1233 00:53:43,840 --> 00:53:47,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, the Bible says an undisciplined child is a unloved child. 1234 00:53:48,120 --> 00:53:52,200 Speaker 1: I think kids are feeling unloved because they're not being disciplined. 1235 00:53:52,280 --> 00:53:53,600 Speaker 2: What is too soft for you? 1236 00:53:53,719 --> 00:53:53,879 Speaker 1: Now? 1237 00:53:53,880 --> 00:53:57,080 Speaker 2: And the reason I asked is, like Charlamage said, you know, 1238 00:53:57,360 --> 00:53:59,239 Speaker 2: there were certain things. I mean, my kids can't do 1239 00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:01,080 Speaker 2: it anyway, but it was certain things that you can 1240 00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:03,680 Speaker 2: do and you couldn't do right. And I run the 1241 00:54:03,680 --> 00:54:07,480 Speaker 2: household the same way, right. But if you look at 1242 00:54:07,480 --> 00:54:09,560 Speaker 2: these kids now, a lot of them are a lot softer, 1243 00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:14,520 Speaker 2: a lot weaker, cry faster. You hear depression, you hear 1244 00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:16,520 Speaker 2: a lot of triggering words that I don't even think 1245 00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:18,160 Speaker 2: that they know what they're saying. They just see it 1246 00:54:18,160 --> 00:54:19,840 Speaker 2: because they see it on TV or they heard somebody 1247 00:54:19,840 --> 00:54:22,239 Speaker 2: say it online. Yeah, but also people will say that 1248 00:54:22,280 --> 00:54:24,520 Speaker 2: the reason that these kids like that because parents can't 1249 00:54:24,560 --> 00:54:27,440 Speaker 2: par in anymore, because if they yell at their child, 1250 00:54:27,520 --> 00:54:29,920 Speaker 2: if they pop a child, or if they do anything 1251 00:54:29,960 --> 00:54:33,640 Speaker 2: that their parents did to them, accept abuse, they will be, 1252 00:54:33,960 --> 00:54:36,120 Speaker 2: you know, told on to the school and CPS will be. 1253 00:54:36,040 --> 00:54:38,480 Speaker 5: At their door. So listen. 1254 00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:42,480 Speaker 1: My grandmother whooped my ass and I call the police 1255 00:54:42,600 --> 00:54:44,719 Speaker 1: while I was down nine. She put one on one 1256 00:54:45,360 --> 00:54:48,240 Speaker 1: and told them when they got there, I'll whooped her ass. 1257 00:54:48,560 --> 00:54:49,880 Speaker 1: If you take me to y'all gonna come home and 1258 00:54:49,920 --> 00:54:52,480 Speaker 1: I'm gonna beat her ass again. So whatever you're gonna do, 1259 00:54:52,560 --> 00:54:57,279 Speaker 1: let's do it. And I would never take away her discipline. 1260 00:54:58,719 --> 00:55:00,200 Speaker 5: That's how I know she loves. 1261 00:55:00,120 --> 00:55:00,520 Speaker 3: You, know how. 1262 00:55:00,680 --> 00:55:02,440 Speaker 1: First of all, I'm not even a mama. I'm the 1263 00:55:02,480 --> 00:55:05,640 Speaker 1: oldest of seven. I got about nah nieces and nephews. 1264 00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:08,520 Speaker 1: Do you know how much energy it takes, well y'all 1265 00:55:08,520 --> 00:55:11,200 Speaker 1: have kids to discipline a child, to watch them to 1266 00:55:11,239 --> 00:55:14,280 Speaker 1: see when they're doing right or wrong. The love part 1267 00:55:14,360 --> 00:55:17,319 Speaker 1: is the time it takes to even watch to see 1268 00:55:17,320 --> 00:55:21,400 Speaker 1: what I'm doing to discipline me. So a lot of parents, 1269 00:55:21,400 --> 00:55:23,920 Speaker 1: to me, this gentle parenting is just called lazy parenting. 1270 00:55:23,960 --> 00:55:25,560 Speaker 1: That means I'm not in the mood to parent. I 1271 00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:28,280 Speaker 1: got things I'm trying to do. I'm trying to figure 1272 00:55:28,320 --> 00:55:30,520 Speaker 1: my life out, or I'm a single parent, I'm trying 1273 00:55:30,560 --> 00:55:33,000 Speaker 1: to date, or I'm trying to get a sense of self, 1274 00:55:33,239 --> 00:55:35,359 Speaker 1: so I don't even have time or energy to deal 1275 00:55:35,400 --> 00:55:37,959 Speaker 1: with disciplining you. I think that's more of what it's about. 1276 00:55:38,040 --> 00:55:40,280 Speaker 1: And Noah does not work. These kids have no guidance. 1277 00:55:40,280 --> 00:55:44,080 Speaker 1: They're a very lost generation. I mean, I'm gonna go there. 1278 00:55:44,160 --> 00:55:48,440 Speaker 1: You look at the campaign this year. You know, all 1279 00:55:48,520 --> 00:55:51,160 Speaker 1: due respect to says Kamala, she threw a concert and 1280 00:55:51,280 --> 00:55:54,080 Speaker 1: I like Meg and I like I love Glorilla. She 1281 00:55:54,200 --> 00:55:57,640 Speaker 1: threw a concert with Meg and Glorilla, thinking that that 1282 00:55:57,800 --> 00:56:01,960 Speaker 1: was going to move an influence our community to vote 1283 00:56:01,960 --> 00:56:05,400 Speaker 1: for her. You think that we're that low functioning that 1284 00:56:05,480 --> 00:56:08,840 Speaker 1: you cannot talk politics to us and legislation to us 1285 00:56:09,239 --> 00:56:12,080 Speaker 1: for us to choose you based on leadership, that we're 1286 00:56:12,080 --> 00:56:15,040 Speaker 1: gonna choose you based on who's dropping it like it's 1287 00:56:15,040 --> 00:56:16,920 Speaker 1: hot or who's bringing in a concert. 1288 00:56:17,160 --> 00:56:17,680 Speaker 3: I agree with that. 1289 00:56:17,760 --> 00:56:19,279 Speaker 4: I said that, you know, I would rather just had 1290 00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:22,160 Speaker 4: Megan up there talking about women's rights, to women's reproductor 1291 00:56:22,880 --> 00:56:23,520 Speaker 4: the way card. 1292 00:56:25,160 --> 00:56:26,399 Speaker 5: Fantastic and Cardi's are. 1293 00:56:26,360 --> 00:56:31,279 Speaker 1: But Cardi been talking politics for YETI would come on 1294 00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:36,880 Speaker 1: there with no wig care everywhere and all the she 1295 00:56:37,040 --> 00:56:39,040 Speaker 1: fucked up, and then we'll run a whole bill that 1296 00:56:39,080 --> 00:56:41,960 Speaker 1: she could just author and try to pull into legislation. 1297 00:56:42,080 --> 00:56:45,000 Speaker 1: So what I'm saying is this, this camp. 1298 00:56:45,080 --> 00:56:46,400 Speaker 5: This whole election. 1299 00:56:46,280 --> 00:56:49,560 Speaker 1: Showed you the level of where our kids are, and 1300 00:56:49,600 --> 00:56:51,919 Speaker 1: I'm like, really, but it also showed you it didn't work. 1301 00:56:52,880 --> 00:56:53,480 Speaker 5: It didn't work. 1302 00:56:53,640 --> 00:56:55,759 Speaker 6: I saw you said too that you're comment on the 1303 00:56:55,760 --> 00:56:57,640 Speaker 6: fact that Kamala didn't come out that first night when 1304 00:56:57,680 --> 00:57:00,880 Speaker 6: she didn't win. You speak to that and speak to 1305 00:57:00,880 --> 00:57:03,040 Speaker 6: the common because we were upset about. 1306 00:57:02,960 --> 00:57:05,200 Speaker 5: Oh yeah, another unpopular opinion. I don't care. 1307 00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:10,839 Speaker 1: She proved why the people men and women who are 1308 00:57:10,840 --> 00:57:13,640 Speaker 1: not ready for a woman president are not ready for 1309 00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:19,240 Speaker 1: a woman president because society and some men, not all 1310 00:57:19,320 --> 00:57:23,720 Speaker 1: deem women as emotionally unstable and unable to regulate our emotions, 1311 00:57:24,480 --> 00:57:27,200 Speaker 1: since when you knew you weren't winning or weren't in 1312 00:57:27,200 --> 00:57:30,160 Speaker 1: the lead. And these kids, these babies, these adults were 1313 00:57:30,160 --> 00:57:33,320 Speaker 1: at a historical black university that you went to, Howard 1314 00:57:33,720 --> 00:57:34,880 Speaker 1: waiting hours for you. 1315 00:57:35,240 --> 00:57:36,160 Speaker 5: They had volunteered. 1316 00:57:36,200 --> 00:57:38,360 Speaker 1: I'm sure they had to contributed, and they probably voted 1317 00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:39,280 Speaker 1: for you and supported you. 1318 00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:40,120 Speaker 5: This entire time. 1319 00:57:40,600 --> 00:57:43,680 Speaker 1: You couldn't come out and address the people who supported you. 1320 00:57:45,160 --> 00:57:47,800 Speaker 1: That's proven to the people who don't believe women could 1321 00:57:47,960 --> 00:57:50,480 Speaker 1: lead at that level, that a woman can't regulate her 1322 00:57:50,520 --> 00:57:52,880 Speaker 1: emotions enough to come out and take an ail. I 1323 00:57:52,880 --> 00:57:56,240 Speaker 1: don't care if she would have come out in tears. Listen, 1324 00:57:56,280 --> 00:57:58,200 Speaker 1: I'm sorry we lost, whatever that looks like. 1325 00:57:59,120 --> 00:58:04,080 Speaker 5: And this husband, listen, I'll give a little. 1326 00:58:03,840 --> 00:58:07,479 Speaker 4: Pushback on that because Donald Trump never gave a concession speech, 1327 00:58:08,160 --> 00:58:09,960 Speaker 4: nor would he even admit that he lost. 1328 00:58:10,080 --> 00:58:10,320 Speaker 5: Listen. 1329 00:58:10,360 --> 00:58:13,680 Speaker 1: And I'm not in support of Donald Trump, but Donald 1330 00:58:13,680 --> 00:58:15,800 Speaker 1: Trump didn't need to come out because he never conceded. 1331 00:58:16,560 --> 00:58:20,400 Speaker 1: He also stood ten toe down and said, y'all, which 1332 00:58:20,440 --> 00:58:21,760 Speaker 1: I'm not saying, I agree with this. 1333 00:58:21,800 --> 00:58:22,560 Speaker 3: Y'all rigged it. 1334 00:58:22,800 --> 00:58:25,439 Speaker 5: I won I'm not conceding. He still got the keys 1335 00:58:25,440 --> 00:58:26,200 Speaker 5: to the White House. 1336 00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:27,520 Speaker 2: But he didn't come to his people, even when they 1337 00:58:27,560 --> 00:58:29,280 Speaker 2: when that night, he never came out, and that was 1338 00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:31,520 Speaker 2: what he lost to Jody. He never came out. That's 1339 00:58:31,520 --> 00:58:35,520 Speaker 2: what I just said in Nam But she said, but 1340 00:58:35,520 --> 00:58:37,200 Speaker 2: he didn't come out at all to speak to the people. 1341 00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:38,040 Speaker 3: I just said. 1342 00:58:38,160 --> 00:58:41,200 Speaker 1: But we're talking about Trump, who runs on being that 1343 00:58:41,320 --> 00:58:45,280 Speaker 1: type of person. So his people never expected that. Just 1344 00:58:45,280 --> 00:58:48,640 Speaker 1: like when someone says, well, Trump's a racist, he's running 1345 00:58:48,640 --> 00:58:48,960 Speaker 1: on that. 1346 00:58:49,280 --> 00:58:50,920 Speaker 5: Trump is talking about. 1347 00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:52,920 Speaker 1: Getting rid of the U I D E. I. 1348 00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:53,880 Speaker 5: He has said that. 1349 00:58:55,720 --> 00:58:59,240 Speaker 1: Kamala came out and showed us all this love and 1350 00:58:59,280 --> 00:59:02,840 Speaker 1: support after she said I can't do just something for 1351 00:59:02,920 --> 00:59:05,680 Speaker 1: the black community. But on the day that I get 1352 00:59:05,720 --> 00:59:08,160 Speaker 1: into office, I'm gonna sign my very first bill that's 1353 00:59:08,200 --> 00:59:09,880 Speaker 1: called immigrant reform. 1354 00:59:10,120 --> 00:59:11,720 Speaker 5: That's doing something for a group of people. 1355 00:59:12,200 --> 00:59:15,320 Speaker 1: Now I'm black in Hispanic, so I ain't got a 1356 00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:17,440 Speaker 1: problem against immigrants. But what I'm saying is, if you 1357 00:59:17,440 --> 00:59:19,120 Speaker 1: can't do something for one group of people, my love, 1358 00:59:20,160 --> 00:59:22,280 Speaker 1: that's one group of people, let me move for it. 1359 00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:25,400 Speaker 1: But when you took the l let me add to that. 1360 00:59:25,480 --> 00:59:28,880 Speaker 1: Not only did you not come out. You sent a 1361 00:59:28,920 --> 00:59:32,600 Speaker 1: man to come out and address these people. He was 1362 00:59:32,640 --> 00:59:35,280 Speaker 1: fine too. You sent a man. I don't know if 1363 00:59:35,280 --> 00:59:37,040 Speaker 1: you're married, but that man was handsome. I send a 1364 00:59:37,080 --> 00:59:41,400 Speaker 1: man to come out and address the people. You didn't 1365 00:59:41,400 --> 00:59:44,240 Speaker 1: even send another woman or black woman. This was a 1366 00:59:44,320 --> 00:59:48,000 Speaker 1: woman's moment, and that's what she made it. Black and woman. 1367 00:59:48,680 --> 00:59:51,800 Speaker 1: You sent a man to do a woman's job. And 1368 00:59:51,840 --> 00:59:55,560 Speaker 1: in my opinion, that all that did was tell the 1369 00:59:55,600 --> 00:59:58,920 Speaker 1: folks who said women can't lead, see she sent a 1370 00:59:58,920 --> 01:00:01,600 Speaker 1: man out to do it, and then came out the 1371 01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:04,720 Speaker 1: next day and said, Okay, I'm gonna have this. 1372 01:00:06,200 --> 01:00:07,160 Speaker 5: That's not leadership. 1373 01:00:07,200 --> 01:00:11,160 Speaker 1: To me, leadership is commitment, and commitment is doing what 1374 01:00:11,200 --> 01:00:13,000 Speaker 1: you said you would doe regards of how you feel, 1375 01:00:13,240 --> 01:00:14,240 Speaker 1: I don't care how you felt. 1376 01:00:14,600 --> 01:00:16,040 Speaker 5: Kamala, come out and address us. 1377 01:00:16,080 --> 01:00:19,040 Speaker 1: Those kids left what they had down. They weren't sad 1378 01:00:19,080 --> 01:00:20,800 Speaker 1: just because she lost. They were sad because they were 1379 01:00:20,800 --> 01:00:23,000 Speaker 1: looking for who was still their leader, whether she lost 1380 01:00:23,080 --> 01:00:26,520 Speaker 1: or not. To come out and address those kids, that's wrong. 1381 01:00:26,560 --> 01:00:28,640 Speaker 1: That's just out of pocket. That's not leadership. And you 1382 01:00:28,720 --> 01:00:29,560 Speaker 1: got to have a backbone. 1383 01:00:29,560 --> 01:00:30,560 Speaker 5: So I mean, either. 1384 01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:37,960 Speaker 1: I still supported her, I voted for her, but I 1385 01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:40,960 Speaker 1: didn't see the leadership in her from the beginning, but 1386 01:00:41,040 --> 01:00:43,440 Speaker 1: I was rooting for her. I wanted sisters to show different. 1387 01:00:43,920 --> 01:00:46,040 Speaker 1: But when she didn't show up for that, I said, 1388 01:00:47,080 --> 01:00:49,760 Speaker 1: this is it. You know, maybe I'll run in four 1389 01:00:49,840 --> 01:00:52,480 Speaker 1: years and I'll run black and women, and I'll run 1390 01:00:52,480 --> 01:00:56,360 Speaker 1: all these ways. And I'm you know, very lovingly criticizing 1391 01:00:56,400 --> 01:00:59,280 Speaker 1: Kamala for and maybe when I win, you know, y'all 1392 01:00:59,280 --> 01:01:01,440 Speaker 1: will say, well, of course you came out doc because 1393 01:01:01,480 --> 01:01:01,760 Speaker 1: you won. 1394 01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:06,200 Speaker 3: He is married too. I looked it up for you, sister. 1395 01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:09,520 Speaker 5: Personally. 1396 01:01:09,600 --> 01:01:11,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, yeah, okay, Yeah. 1397 01:01:11,600 --> 01:01:12,320 Speaker 5: We grew up in La. 1398 01:01:12,720 --> 01:01:14,920 Speaker 1: Everyone and everyone in LA, and that's how you know 1399 01:01:14,920 --> 01:01:16,560 Speaker 1: in La we know each other. Yeah, unless she in 1400 01:01:16,600 --> 01:01:18,160 Speaker 1: the eighties eighties kids. 1401 01:01:18,600 --> 01:01:19,880 Speaker 2: I was gonna ask, what was the last time you 1402 01:01:19,920 --> 01:01:21,880 Speaker 2: apologize or last time you were wrong about something? 1403 01:01:22,000 --> 01:01:26,959 Speaker 5: You remember? Good question? It probably no, probably. 1404 01:01:28,520 --> 01:01:28,560 Speaker 8: No. 1405 01:01:29,160 --> 01:01:31,880 Speaker 1: It probably was to my best friend Lola and my assistant. 1406 01:01:31,880 --> 01:01:37,280 Speaker 1: We work so closely together, We're always together. And because 1407 01:01:37,320 --> 01:01:39,640 Speaker 1: I'm so comfortable with her, she gets all of my 1408 01:01:39,720 --> 01:01:43,160 Speaker 1: moving parts right. So she gets like the really good mes, 1409 01:01:43,200 --> 01:01:45,000 Speaker 1: she gets like the Braddy mea, she gets the. 1410 01:01:45,760 --> 01:01:47,520 Speaker 5: What the fuck are you doing you're moving too slow me. 1411 01:01:47,680 --> 01:01:49,720 Speaker 1: You know, she gets the thank you me, and then 1412 01:01:49,760 --> 01:01:52,439 Speaker 1: she gets to like, you know, I'm sorry, You're right, 1413 01:01:52,600 --> 01:01:55,600 Speaker 1: that was a little brash or you know, so probably 1414 01:01:55,640 --> 01:01:57,280 Speaker 1: her to be honest. 1415 01:01:57,040 --> 01:01:59,720 Speaker 3: With me, what about to me and that you're dating. 1416 01:02:00,560 --> 01:02:02,760 Speaker 2: They never get an apology, I. 1417 01:02:02,720 --> 01:02:05,720 Speaker 6: Actually though, because you are very strong in opinion and 1418 01:02:05,720 --> 01:02:07,480 Speaker 6: stuff like that. And I think men think that women 1419 01:02:07,720 --> 01:02:09,480 Speaker 6: that are structured like you don't know how to be 1420 01:02:09,480 --> 01:02:10,880 Speaker 6: accountable and don't know how to apologize. 1421 01:02:10,920 --> 01:02:15,120 Speaker 1: I'm very accountable. I do apologize. That's why I said, 1422 01:02:15,120 --> 01:02:18,400 Speaker 1: I want a man who will say with respect and me. 1423 01:02:18,400 --> 01:02:21,200 Speaker 1: He ain't about to just dominate, like shut your ass uptight. 1424 01:02:21,240 --> 01:02:21,360 Speaker 5: You know. 1425 01:02:21,360 --> 01:02:23,320 Speaker 1: He can be disrespectful, but I want a man who's like, 1426 01:02:23,320 --> 01:02:25,480 Speaker 1: hold on, you're out of pocket right now, you know, 1427 01:02:25,560 --> 01:02:28,160 Speaker 1: like we don't do that. This is not what we do. 1428 01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:31,680 Speaker 1: And I like you strong, but this is not strong. 1429 01:02:31,720 --> 01:02:34,640 Speaker 1: This is disrespectful, baby. But I want him to be 1430 01:02:34,680 --> 01:02:36,080 Speaker 1: able to know how to say it, and then I 1431 01:02:36,120 --> 01:02:37,640 Speaker 1: will be like, you know, even if it's not in 1432 01:02:37,680 --> 01:02:40,120 Speaker 1: that moment, I can process and be like, you know what, 1433 01:02:40,200 --> 01:02:41,400 Speaker 1: you're right, and I do. 1434 01:02:41,480 --> 01:02:42,480 Speaker 5: I will apologize. 1435 01:02:42,480 --> 01:02:45,120 Speaker 1: I will come to myself because I have the discipline 1436 01:02:45,160 --> 01:02:47,480 Speaker 1: of that self talk of saying stop, you know, or 1437 01:02:47,520 --> 01:02:50,800 Speaker 1: I will say, listen, you've already apologized, You've done everything 1438 01:02:50,840 --> 01:02:53,080 Speaker 1: you could right now, it's not a youth problem. I'm 1439 01:02:53,120 --> 01:02:56,560 Speaker 1: still trying to get out of my ego. So just 1440 01:02:56,560 --> 01:02:59,720 Speaker 1: give me thirty minutes, because baby, you've apologize like you 1441 01:02:59,800 --> 01:03:01,439 Speaker 1: done your job. And then I come around in twenty 1442 01:03:01,520 --> 01:03:04,400 Speaker 1: thirty minutes and I'm like, okay, I'm back and I'm 1443 01:03:04,440 --> 01:03:04,920 Speaker 1: sorry to. 1444 01:03:05,080 --> 01:03:06,760 Speaker 4: That's awareness, that's kountability. 1445 01:03:06,880 --> 01:03:09,840 Speaker 1: And the thing is when you really want peace, and that's. 1446 01:03:09,640 --> 01:03:11,280 Speaker 5: The thing about being single for so long. 1447 01:03:11,320 --> 01:03:14,880 Speaker 6: Though I can, yes, you find it, you figure it out, 1448 01:03:14,920 --> 01:03:16,440 Speaker 6: I find a piece and enjoy that. 1449 01:03:16,480 --> 01:03:18,560 Speaker 3: When you do get into relationships, gotta make sense. 1450 01:03:18,600 --> 01:03:19,280 Speaker 5: And when you do get a. 1451 01:03:19,280 --> 01:03:21,680 Speaker 1: Relationship, though, you're really saying let's dead this, let's dead 1452 01:03:21,680 --> 01:03:23,919 Speaker 1: in this argument because see, I'm so used to being 1453 01:03:23,920 --> 01:03:26,120 Speaker 1: happy because it's just me that I just want to 1454 01:03:26,120 --> 01:03:27,600 Speaker 1: get to the cuddle part again. I just want to 1455 01:03:27,600 --> 01:03:29,200 Speaker 1: get to the happy party again. So what do we 1456 01:03:29,200 --> 01:03:31,520 Speaker 1: need to do just to be good? And people who 1457 01:03:31,600 --> 01:03:34,520 Speaker 1: are so used to being in relationships with this circle 1458 01:03:34,680 --> 01:03:39,160 Speaker 1: dysfunction of argument, they leave that marriage and do the 1459 01:03:39,200 --> 01:03:39,640 Speaker 1: same thing. 1460 01:03:40,080 --> 01:03:41,920 Speaker 6: Have you ever got afraid that you're going to get 1461 01:03:41,920 --> 01:03:43,480 Speaker 6: so used to that piece that you're not gonna want 1462 01:03:43,480 --> 01:03:45,160 Speaker 6: to do nothing? Because I tell myself the other time, 1463 01:03:45,160 --> 01:03:46,920 Speaker 6: like I'm in such a good state, I don't want 1464 01:03:46,960 --> 01:03:47,600 Speaker 6: nothing to bother me. 1465 01:03:47,640 --> 01:03:55,000 Speaker 1: But no, because I have been I have been serial 1466 01:03:55,080 --> 01:03:57,120 Speaker 1: dating for the six years I've been single. So when 1467 01:03:57,120 --> 01:03:59,600 Speaker 1: I say single, it means I haven't been committed but committed. 1468 01:03:59,640 --> 01:04:01,920 Speaker 1: But have I had like three months six months relationships 1469 01:04:01,960 --> 01:04:04,040 Speaker 1: that went that long season and word exclusive and we're 1470 01:04:04,040 --> 01:04:07,520 Speaker 1: committed in that season because I am very into exclusivity. 1471 01:04:07,560 --> 01:04:10,000 Speaker 1: I don't like casual sex, and so I will accidentally 1472 01:04:10,080 --> 01:04:12,960 Speaker 1: go a year, year and a half celibate because I 1473 01:04:12,960 --> 01:04:14,640 Speaker 1: don't like the casualty. 1474 01:04:14,080 --> 01:04:15,520 Speaker 5: Of sex, you know what I mean. 1475 01:04:15,560 --> 01:04:17,520 Speaker 1: And so yeah, no, So I'm dating like I mean, like, 1476 01:04:17,560 --> 01:04:20,360 Speaker 1: I have someone that I spend time with now that 1477 01:04:20,400 --> 01:04:21,600 Speaker 1: I will go on dates with. 1478 01:04:21,680 --> 01:04:24,520 Speaker 5: We're not committed, so I'm still single, but. 1479 01:04:24,640 --> 01:04:27,200 Speaker 1: I'm a woman who I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna have 1480 01:04:27,240 --> 01:04:29,560 Speaker 1: a companion around. I love the companionship and I love 1481 01:04:29,600 --> 01:04:33,280 Speaker 1: a man's energy. That tassashron, that alpha energy is recharging 1482 01:04:33,320 --> 01:04:35,360 Speaker 1: for me, and it's not something that I would just 1483 01:04:35,400 --> 01:04:37,240 Speaker 1: say like, oh I could do without. 1484 01:04:37,440 --> 01:04:38,720 Speaker 5: No, I want it. 1485 01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:41,960 Speaker 1: I love it, and so I keep around what I 1486 01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:44,680 Speaker 1: want And when I decide to, I would choose at 1487 01:04:44,720 --> 01:04:47,480 Speaker 1: one person to be around for the long term. 1488 01:04:47,480 --> 01:04:49,080 Speaker 3: Well, when does that decision happen for you? 1489 01:04:49,160 --> 01:04:51,439 Speaker 1: Now, I'm in my choosing stage, so it's gonna happen 1490 01:04:51,480 --> 01:04:54,280 Speaker 1: now soon. I'm in my choosing stage. But but I'm 1491 01:04:54,280 --> 01:04:57,400 Speaker 1: not I'm not desperate, so it's not like again, I'm 1492 01:04:57,440 --> 01:05:00,640 Speaker 1: not choosing just a high valued man. Even take a 1493 01:05:00,640 --> 01:05:03,160 Speaker 1: man who's a little less value, meaning a little less 1494 01:05:03,200 --> 01:05:07,320 Speaker 1: income money, But I just love this man. 1495 01:05:07,560 --> 01:05:08,600 Speaker 5: He's my person. 1496 01:05:08,720 --> 01:05:09,760 Speaker 2: So you would take the bus driver. 1497 01:05:10,800 --> 01:05:13,440 Speaker 1: I don't, Well, only know because he's away from me 1498 01:05:13,480 --> 01:05:16,240 Speaker 1: for too long and he's coming home with money that's 1499 01:05:16,320 --> 01:05:18,360 Speaker 1: not worth the value of the time I'm not getting 1500 01:05:18,400 --> 01:05:18,680 Speaker 1: with you. 1501 01:05:18,720 --> 01:05:19,960 Speaker 4: What if he's a good man. I guess That's why 1502 01:05:19,960 --> 01:05:21,760 Speaker 4: I'm confused about what the high value man think, because 1503 01:05:21,760 --> 01:05:23,640 Speaker 4: I'm like, I understand he got the bank, but what 1504 01:05:23,720 --> 01:05:24,920 Speaker 4: if he's just got a poor spirit. 1505 01:05:24,960 --> 01:05:26,160 Speaker 5: What if he got a poor character. 1506 01:05:26,200 --> 01:05:27,640 Speaker 4: What if he's not willing to do the work on him? 1507 01:05:27,680 --> 01:05:31,560 Speaker 1: Stuff like That's why I'll take little less value in 1508 01:05:31,760 --> 01:05:34,760 Speaker 1: higher functioning, Like I don't want high value, little functioning. 1509 01:05:34,800 --> 01:05:37,040 Speaker 1: I'll take a little less value because I do well 1510 01:05:37,080 --> 01:05:39,040 Speaker 1: on my own. Am I gonna take care of a man? No? 1511 01:05:39,080 --> 01:05:41,000 Speaker 5: Am I gonna spoil the hell out of him? Hell yeah? 1512 01:05:41,240 --> 01:05:43,040 Speaker 1: But I'm not gonna take care of you. But while 1513 01:05:43,080 --> 01:05:44,959 Speaker 1: I go, will I take you on a trip because 1514 01:05:44,960 --> 01:05:46,960 Speaker 1: you mind's Yeah? What I buy you a brand new 1515 01:05:46,960 --> 01:05:48,640 Speaker 1: car when you come home and this is the lambell 1516 01:05:48,720 --> 01:05:49,120 Speaker 1: you wanted? 1517 01:05:49,440 --> 01:05:50,400 Speaker 5: Hell yeah? 1518 01:05:50,440 --> 01:05:52,680 Speaker 1: But are you going to be a man who is 1519 01:05:53,240 --> 01:05:55,480 Speaker 1: not submitting to me either? Or can't be in your out, 1520 01:05:55,640 --> 01:05:58,120 Speaker 1: or you ain't paying no bills, or you're not respecting me, 1521 01:05:58,160 --> 01:05:59,760 Speaker 1: you're not coming to support my shows, You're not on 1522 01:05:59,800 --> 01:06:01,680 Speaker 1: my speaking towards. No, I'm not doing it with a 1523 01:06:01,680 --> 01:06:04,560 Speaker 1: man who's not doing those things. But do I need 1524 01:06:04,560 --> 01:06:06,160 Speaker 1: you to just take full carr of me? And then 1525 01:06:06,200 --> 01:06:09,040 Speaker 1: I still got my hand out? No, I'm submitting to you. 1526 01:06:09,040 --> 01:06:11,120 Speaker 1: You're have in house loving. I'm not gonna deny that. 1527 01:06:11,160 --> 01:06:13,200 Speaker 1: Whatever I gotta do, I got you. I did that 1528 01:06:13,240 --> 01:06:15,240 Speaker 1: in relationships, and that's why the men I've been with 1529 01:06:16,080 --> 01:06:18,440 Speaker 1: are the men I've dated also have always wanted to 1530 01:06:18,480 --> 01:06:20,360 Speaker 1: marry me because I'm a good woman. 1531 01:06:20,400 --> 01:06:21,960 Speaker 5: I treat them that I'm loving. 1532 01:06:22,280 --> 01:06:25,520 Speaker 1: But also because I'm not choosing a man just for 1533 01:06:25,560 --> 01:06:27,800 Speaker 1: their value. I want you to have money. I want 1534 01:06:27,800 --> 01:06:29,280 Speaker 1: to go to Mauthey's. I want a trip. I want 1535 01:06:29,280 --> 01:06:31,720 Speaker 1: you to buy me a Burkin. Not because I want 1536 01:06:31,720 --> 01:06:34,439 Speaker 1: a Burken, It's because I want it from you, right, 1537 01:06:34,480 --> 01:06:36,680 Speaker 1: And so the Burken or the Louis or whatever the 1538 01:06:36,680 --> 01:06:37,480 Speaker 1: hell coming from. 1539 01:06:37,320 --> 01:06:39,000 Speaker 5: You is what I plays value in. 1540 01:06:39,480 --> 01:06:41,400 Speaker 1: And that's what makes me love the bad That's what 1541 01:06:41,440 --> 01:06:43,480 Speaker 1: makes me love the iPhone because you bought the iPhone 1542 01:06:43,520 --> 01:06:43,760 Speaker 1: for me. 1543 01:06:44,160 --> 01:06:46,520 Speaker 5: Yeah right, so yeah, yeah, I mean he could. Yeah, 1544 01:06:46,520 --> 01:06:48,680 Speaker 5: so I would, and I would regular rather have a 1545 01:06:48,720 --> 01:06:49,760 Speaker 5: regular man who. 1546 01:06:51,560 --> 01:06:54,400 Speaker 1: Isn't in the limelight, who we both don't have to 1547 01:06:54,440 --> 01:06:58,680 Speaker 1: straddle this this whole industry thing, and he can go 1548 01:06:58,760 --> 01:06:59,840 Speaker 1: run a business or go. 1549 01:06:59,760 --> 01:07:00,640 Speaker 5: Be a corporate guy. 1550 01:07:00,840 --> 01:07:02,880 Speaker 1: He can come to my shows and we can go 1551 01:07:02,920 --> 01:07:05,760 Speaker 1: home and have intellectual pillow talk. I can go home 1552 01:07:05,800 --> 01:07:07,520 Speaker 1: and put my hair in a in a bird's nest 1553 01:07:08,040 --> 01:07:10,480 Speaker 1: and walk around with sweats and a tank top and 1554 01:07:10,480 --> 01:07:10,960 Speaker 1: no brawl. 1555 01:07:13,360 --> 01:07:21,200 Speaker 7: He just always so you got the show. 1556 01:07:21,320 --> 01:07:22,080 Speaker 5: Truth talks. 1557 01:07:22,360 --> 01:07:25,880 Speaker 1: I do truth talks, yes, before we get out of here. 1558 01:07:26,320 --> 01:07:28,680 Speaker 1: So truth Talks is my new talk show. It's on Fox. 1559 01:07:28,720 --> 01:07:36,960 Speaker 1: It's Monday through Friday eight to give you Sometimes the 1560 01:07:36,960 --> 01:07:40,200 Speaker 1: producers are like, Doc, you know, give the other cohole 1561 01:07:40,320 --> 01:07:44,360 Speaker 1: time to talk. I'm like, I gotta do that. But 1562 01:07:44,640 --> 01:07:47,160 Speaker 1: it's cool because we're pretty much we're a global news. 1563 01:07:47,200 --> 01:07:49,800 Speaker 1: We're a c n M that gives you the black voice, 1564 01:07:49,800 --> 01:07:50,920 Speaker 1: the black perspective, and. 1565 01:07:50,840 --> 01:07:55,480 Speaker 5: We're bringing truth to everything news with culture uh twist 1566 01:07:55,520 --> 01:07:55,720 Speaker 5: to it. 1567 01:07:55,840 --> 01:07:58,680 Speaker 1: So we're every night eight pm Prime Time. 1568 01:07:58,840 --> 01:08:02,800 Speaker 5: Love that follow me on Underscore. 1569 01:08:02,920 --> 01:08:05,720 Speaker 1: Doctor Brian on Instagram social media, or you can go 1570 01:08:05,720 --> 01:08:07,680 Speaker 1: to doctor Brian dot com and that's doctor Brian dot 1571 01:08:07,720 --> 01:08:10,959 Speaker 1: coeo not dot com. And then I'm on my speaking tour. 1572 01:08:11,320 --> 01:08:14,320 Speaker 1: So every weekend I am on the tour with Tonight's Conversation, 1573 01:08:14,600 --> 01:08:16,559 Speaker 1: but I'm also on my own speaking tour. So every 1574 01:08:16,560 --> 01:08:19,160 Speaker 1: weekend go to my website of my social media, You'll 1575 01:08:19,160 --> 01:08:21,080 Speaker 1: see that I'm with Tonight's Conversation for the rest of 1576 01:08:21,080 --> 01:08:22,559 Speaker 1: this year, but i also have my own speaking tour 1577 01:08:22,560 --> 01:08:23,080 Speaker 1: in Chicago. 1578 01:08:23,080 --> 01:08:25,120 Speaker 5: We got Atlanta, we got LA, we got London. 1579 01:08:25,120 --> 01:08:28,519 Speaker 1: We got Canada, we have Iowa. I'm like, I'm like, 1580 01:08:28,560 --> 01:08:29,920 Speaker 1: y'all are black people Iowa? 1581 01:08:30,040 --> 01:08:31,720 Speaker 5: Right, that's hod when I be on my comedy, so 1582 01:08:31,880 --> 01:08:32,840 Speaker 5: like who is in Wisconsin? 1583 01:08:33,000 --> 01:08:36,639 Speaker 1: Even two people in Iowa who are black, whose lives 1584 01:08:36,680 --> 01:08:37,920 Speaker 1: I can shift are changed. 1585 01:08:38,360 --> 01:08:39,360 Speaker 5: The doc is on her way. 1586 01:08:39,360 --> 01:08:40,519 Speaker 3: With the doc is on her way. 1587 01:08:40,600 --> 01:08:41,240 Speaker 5: We're gonna do it. 1588 01:08:41,320 --> 01:08:42,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's doctor. 1589 01:08:42,840 --> 01:08:45,040 Speaker 4: We appreciate you. 1590 01:08:45,880 --> 01:08:47,320 Speaker 5: I am thank you for having us. 1591 01:08:47,360 --> 01:08:49,280 Speaker 1: But no, Charlotamange, seriously, thank you for being such an 1592 01:08:49,320 --> 01:08:52,840 Speaker 1: advocate this whole mental health. It's not an event you 1593 01:08:52,960 --> 01:08:55,880 Speaker 1: have a mental health movement going on. When I came there, 1594 01:08:55,920 --> 01:08:58,360 Speaker 1: people I mean to see black people, black men with 1595 01:08:58,520 --> 01:09:01,000 Speaker 1: like mental health for black people, black man for mental 1596 01:09:01,000 --> 01:09:03,519 Speaker 1: health and mental health is life changed. They had like 1597 01:09:03,960 --> 01:09:06,880 Speaker 1: merch with everything mental health black and even though it's 1598 01:09:06,920 --> 01:09:10,920 Speaker 1: for all races and our ages. Your panelists there were 1599 01:09:11,000 --> 01:09:16,280 Speaker 1: just giving incredible information. People were sitting there intrigued, entertained, 1600 01:09:16,680 --> 01:09:18,400 Speaker 1: but more than that, people were leaving with gyms that 1601 01:09:18,439 --> 01:09:22,280 Speaker 1: they were really like, Yo, this event is powerful, So 1602 01:09:22,320 --> 01:09:23,600 Speaker 1: thank you for having that. 1603 01:09:23,720 --> 01:09:26,080 Speaker 4: I needed you there, like when you were like top 1604 01:09:26,080 --> 01:09:27,920 Speaker 4: of the lism like doctor Brian got to be there. 1605 01:09:28,280 --> 01:09:29,719 Speaker 5: So I'm happy that we can make that happen. 1606 01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:30,160 Speaker 6: You have. 1607 01:09:30,720 --> 01:09:32,639 Speaker 2: Thank It's the Breakfast Club. 1608 01:09:32,640 --> 01:09:34,719 Speaker 5: Good morning. Thank you wake that ass. 1609 01:09:34,640 --> 01:09:36,960 Speaker 3: Up in the morning. The Breakfast Club