WEBVTT - Second Date Update PODCAST: English Bloke

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<v Speaker 1>Rooking Jebels second date update. I'm actually very surprised that

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<v Speaker 1>the guy on the phone for a second date update

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<v Speaker 1>today isn't getting a call back because he could be

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<v Speaker 1>the worst person on the planet, and no matter what,

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<v Speaker 1>an American girl will call him back. You know why. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>because he's an englishman. Yeah, yea, and so he could

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<v Speaker 1>be a murderer, and just like I don't care, the

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<v Speaker 1>accent is so hot, I have to go out with

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<v Speaker 1>him again. His name is James. James. How are you well?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm good, mate, How are you? I'm not too bad.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you very much for emailing us and agreeing to

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<v Speaker 1>do a second date update. Absolutely, I'm glad you can

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<v Speaker 1>help me out. Maybe, Yeah, for sure. Like I said,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm surprised that this girl isn't calling you back. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>guessing how long you've been in this country, Um, a

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<v Speaker 1>couple of years? Just two enough years now, okay, And

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<v Speaker 1>I'm guessing in your experience it's probably pretty easy in

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<v Speaker 1>the bars and the clubs when you meet girls with

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<v Speaker 1>that accent, isn't it. Yeah, there's not been a problem

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<v Speaker 1>so far. Yeah, I know. I had an English guy

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<v Speaker 1>hit on me. He was so ugly and I was

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<v Speaker 1>still flattered by it. I was like, I did have

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<v Speaker 1>to turn them down because of that, but whatever. So

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<v Speaker 1>you're not getting to call back from a girl. Her

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<v Speaker 1>name is Sarah. Yeah, that's right, all right? And how

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<v Speaker 1>did you meet her? Where? She met to Tinder? Okay, okay?

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<v Speaker 1>And you know, I mean it's just it's not something

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<v Speaker 1>that you would do very often, although I do very often.

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<v Speaker 1>But you know, I met a through Tinder. We agree

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<v Speaker 1>to meet up. So I drove over to pick her up,

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<v Speaker 1>and we went, you know, downtown for a couple of drinks,

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<v Speaker 1>said something to eight. We spent a couple of hours together.

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<v Speaker 1>It was good. No, we had a really good time.

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<v Speaker 1>She was really cool, like really easy to hang out with.

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<v Speaker 1>You know. Let me ask you a question. For a

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<v Speaker 1>guy like you who has an accent that you know

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<v Speaker 1>American women love, is it annoying? Do they sit there

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<v Speaker 1>and harp on it the whole time? That's what I

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<v Speaker 1>picture happening. It's like, oh it's you know, that has

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<v Speaker 1>been the Cayuse a couple of times, you know, But

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<v Speaker 1>like Sarah was just you know, she didn't really even

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<v Speaker 1>pay that much attention to it. You know, it was

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<v Speaker 1>kind of cool. And I do feel like if you're

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<v Speaker 1>a more well traveled person, you're probably not going to

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<v Speaker 1>care quite as much, right right, Yeah, she seems really,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, really really cool. I'm just I'm I'm shocked.

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<v Speaker 1>What did you like about her so much? Like I said,

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<v Speaker 1>she was just really easy to hang out with, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>like you mentioned about other chicks that like, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>har up on the accent or always talk about themselves

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<v Speaker 1>or you know, always you know, she was really easy

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<v Speaker 1>to talk to. She listened to what I had to say,

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<v Speaker 1>so the stuff that she had to say was really interesting.

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<v Speaker 1>It was it was like a quality date, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>It was like we've known each other a couple of

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<v Speaker 1>months or something. Was there like one moment during the

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<v Speaker 1>date where like she's definitely into me, definitely into me. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>like the moment where she showed how interested she was.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean it seemed like that from the very start,

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<v Speaker 1>you know. So why do you think she's not calling

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<v Speaker 1>you back then? I honestly don't know. The only thing

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<v Speaker 1>this is gonna sound stupid, But the only other thing

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<v Speaker 1>that I can think about is that I just bought

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<v Speaker 1>a new car and my parallel parking skills are not

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<v Speaker 1>really up to Yeah, it took me, like it took

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<v Speaker 1>me like five or six time skates to space. And

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<v Speaker 1>then you know, like I was freaking out about that.

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<v Speaker 1>And then at some point she even asked me, she

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<v Speaker 1>was like, do you need me to do that for you?

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<v Speaker 1>Get out and help you park the car? Your little englishman,

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<v Speaker 1>I was. I was. I was like, well embarrassed, and

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<v Speaker 1>then uh, you know, I tried to explain about the

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<v Speaker 1>other side of the road is not doing blah blah blah. Anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll get out of the car and then I'll walk

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<v Speaker 1>into the restaurant and I get to open the door

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<v Speaker 1>for her to get out. So okay, you know, if

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<v Speaker 1>that's if that's something to go by, then I don't know,

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<v Speaker 1>that might be that might be the only problem. That

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<v Speaker 1>is a terrible feeling when you're on a date and

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<v Speaker 1>you're having trouble parallel parking, because then you just start

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<v Speaker 1>to get hot under the collar and you're embarrassed and

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<v Speaker 1>you're just like awful. And it's always in front of

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<v Speaker 1>a crowded window of people too, so it's not just

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<v Speaker 1>your date watching you, but about two hundred other strangers, right,

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<v Speaker 1>So the only thing that you can think of that

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<v Speaker 1>might have gone bad on your date is the fact

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<v Speaker 1>that you had trouble parallel parking and didn't open her door. Yep,

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<v Speaker 1>that seems silly though that was at the beginning. How

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<v Speaker 1>did the end of the date go? And was everything

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<v Speaker 1>was great? You know? Really it was really great, full

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<v Speaker 1>of smiles, full of happiness. There wasn't one awkward moment

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<v Speaker 1>during the night when no one had anything to say,

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<v Speaker 1>or you know, did you guys kiss? Yeah? Yeah, you did? Okay?

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<v Speaker 1>What kind of kissed though? Like a real quick peck

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<v Speaker 1>on the lips or a full I mean just a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit more than that. You know, it wasn't it

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't anything you know, hot and heavy, but you know

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<v Speaker 1>it was. It was a good night kiss. And what

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<v Speaker 1>was the last thing that you guys said to each other.

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<v Speaker 1>I said I'll be in touch and she said, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>that'd be great. Okay? And has she responded at all

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<v Speaker 1>to any of your text messages or not one? Nothing?

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<v Speaker 1>And how many times have you tried to reach her?

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<v Speaker 1>I've texted her like three or four times and called

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<v Speaker 1>her twice. And did you tell her like, oh that

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<v Speaker 1>kiss made my heart skip a beat or anything like that? No, no,

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't say anything like that. I mean, I met

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<v Speaker 1>the girl on Tinba, you know, not exactly going to

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<v Speaker 1>be like I think you're the love of my life

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<v Speaker 1>from that kiss. All right, well we'll play a song, comeback,

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<v Speaker 1>call her and get your Second Date Update. Okay, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>sounds good. Okay, hang on rooking Jubil in the morning.

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<v Speaker 1>Second Update. Hello love, and welcome back to today's royal

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<v Speaker 1>edition of the Second Date Update. I'd be your host,

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<v Speaker 1>Jubil Flag, and today we're talking to Sir James of Update.

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<v Speaker 1>He went out with a lovely young lass he met

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<v Speaker 1>on tender, took her out for drinks, hoping that later

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<v Speaker 1>he'd be able to show her his throbbery, but he

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<v Speaker 1>was unsuccessful in getting the knickers on the floor back

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<v Speaker 1>at his flat. So now he is on the phone

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<v Speaker 1>wondering what went wrong. And James, I never asked you

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<v Speaker 1>what is your occupation? I would assume Chimney sweep. I

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<v Speaker 1>never Oh yeah, oh yeah thanks for that. Yeah yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I worked for Mary Poppins and James on the phone.

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<v Speaker 1>James is English, yes, so of course I have to

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<v Speaker 1>mess with him a little bit because it's weird to

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<v Speaker 1>us Americans. When we hear an accent. Yeah, but he

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<v Speaker 1>did go out with a girl named Sarah, and Sarah

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<v Speaker 1>isn't calling him back, which is weird to me because

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<v Speaker 1>I would think any guy with an English accent or

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<v Speaker 1>Australian accent in America just kills it. Yeah accent and

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<v Speaker 1>John Vietnamese accent whatever, any sort of accent usually does

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<v Speaker 1>very well with the American women. But she's not calling

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<v Speaker 1>him back. He thinks the reason that he's not getting

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<v Speaker 1>a call back is because he had trouble parallel parking

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<v Speaker 1>so much to the point where she was like, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>do you want me to do it for you? And

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<v Speaker 1>then he didn't open her door. But that's the only

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<v Speaker 1>thing you can think of other than that they had

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<v Speaker 1>a great time. You were about to call her and

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<v Speaker 1>find out if in fact he did something wrong on

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<v Speaker 1>the date, James, you're ready to go? Yeah? Can I

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<v Speaker 1>ask you one question, James? You don't fall into the

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<v Speaker 1>stereotype of bad British teeth, do you? No, that's a myth.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the whole thing is. We don't walk around like

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<v Speaker 1>Austin Palace. You know, I wait to London before and

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<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't call it a myth, but I'm glad that

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<v Speaker 1>you're not there. No, absolutely not. Okay, all right, well

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<v Speaker 1>I'm a dollar phone number right now and get your

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<v Speaker 1>second date update. Okay, okay, sounds good. All right, here

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<v Speaker 1>we go. Hello. Oh can I speak to Sarah please?

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<v Speaker 1>This is she? Hey Sarah, how are you? This is

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<v Speaker 1>Jewil from Brook and Jewil in the Morning. I'm good.

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<v Speaker 1>What's going on? I'm at work, I'm good. Just calling

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<v Speaker 1>to check in with some of our listeners. Do you

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<v Speaker 1>listen to the show? Yeah? No, I listen. I'm just

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<v Speaker 1>shocked you're calling me kind of random. Any idea why

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<v Speaker 1>I might be calling you honestly? No? Well, the reason

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<v Speaker 1>I'm calling you today is one of our listeners sent

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<v Speaker 1>us an email about you. Really okay. It's somebody that

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<v Speaker 1>you went on a date with recently. His name is James.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh god, okay, okay, and so it sounds like you

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<v Speaker 1>know James. He says that you guys met on tender

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<v Speaker 1>and went out for drinks and had a fun time,

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<v Speaker 1>but you haven't been answering any of his phone calls

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<v Speaker 1>or text messages. So he asked us to get you

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<v Speaker 1>on the phone and ask if he did something wrong. Okay, Okay, Look,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if I don't know if I need

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<v Speaker 1>to do this on the radio, Like I don't want

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<v Speaker 1>to embarrass him. You don't want to, Well, that's okay.

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<v Speaker 1>He wants to be embarrassed. He's the one that emailed us.

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<v Speaker 1>I think he wouldn't really appreciate me calling him out

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<v Speaker 1>on it. Okay, but he we listen, We talked to

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<v Speaker 1>him and he's prepared to hear anything that you have

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<v Speaker 1>to say. Is he on the line right now if

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<v Speaker 1>you're worried about embarrassing him, I mean he's asking for it. Basically,

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<v Speaker 1>he said he's okay with that. And I have to

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<v Speaker 1>know this explanation because he sounds lovely with an accent.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know why you would turn this dude down.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, see, that's exactly the problem. I just I

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<v Speaker 1>don't buy it what you don't you don't buy what.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't buy his whole I'm British thing. Do you

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<v Speaker 1>think he's faking it? I studied abroad, I lived in

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<v Speaker 1>the UK for a couple of years. I think he's

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<v Speaker 1>faking being British because it's something that works. And we

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<v Speaker 1>met on tender so you can be anybody on tender

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<v Speaker 1>It's true, though, why do you think is like you

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<v Speaker 1>think the whole accent thing everything is just a lie? Absolutely?

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<v Speaker 1>Who was there like a hint when he was talking?

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<v Speaker 1>And you're like, oh, I mean didn't you guys you

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<v Speaker 1>said you talked to him. Didn't you hear it for yourself?

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<v Speaker 1>It's pretty bad. I thought it sounds it sounds like

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<v Speaker 1>he's English to me. Can I have a little dicky bird? Now?

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<v Speaker 1>Can I have a word? Or what? Wait? Is that him? Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>it is. He's actually on the phone. You asked me

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<v Speaker 1>a second ago, and I didn't answer you on purpose

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<v Speaker 1>because James is on the other line listening. Oh my god,

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<v Speaker 1>about Sarah. How's it going? I see? Are you listening

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<v Speaker 1>to that? Sarah? Are you doing? It? Sounds legit to me, Sarah,

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<v Speaker 1>it's leg It's legit. I don't know what you want.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I could show you my passport, I could,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, give you my national insurance number? You know,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I don't know. I don't know what else

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<v Speaker 1>you want me to you know what you need to see? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sure you could show me your fake green car

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<v Speaker 1>and your fake passport and you take everything else because

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<v Speaker 1>I've got all the time in the world to sit

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<v Speaker 1>around and generate fake copies of documents so that I

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<v Speaker 1>can meet girls on tender You. I mean, come on,

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<v Speaker 1>I think exactly the last stupid thing I've ever heard

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<v Speaker 1>what I think you're doing. No, exactly what I think

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<v Speaker 1>you're doing. Wow, they're a paranoid much love? Oh, way

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<v Speaker 1>to be all patronizing. That's going to make me want

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<v Speaker 1>to go out in a second date with you. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>at this point, it's really you know, it's it's I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>it's Sniva here and all there, now, is it? I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>you think I'm a complete fake, so I might as

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<v Speaker 1>well just go bost to the wall. You know. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think you're fake. I know you're fake, and

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<v Speaker 1>you're laying out pretty thick with a whole parallel parking job.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh I can't. I can't pop card because it's on

0:10:57.440 --> 0:11:02.600
<v Speaker 1>the right side of the road. Good accents, Sarah, that's

0:11:02.600 --> 0:11:04.360
<v Speaker 1>a pretty good accent. You should try faking it and

0:11:04.360 --> 0:11:09.000
<v Speaker 1>meeting people on Tinder. Okay, just give it up. Your

0:11:09.040 --> 0:11:14.160
<v Speaker 1>accent is so big. I don't know what else to

0:11:14.240 --> 0:11:16.320
<v Speaker 1>tell you. You know, I've got nothing else to go with.

0:11:16.480 --> 0:11:19.440
<v Speaker 1>This is this is me. You know, I'm good, Come mind,

0:11:19.520 --> 0:11:22.000
<v Speaker 1>just give it up, dude. And you have really too

0:11:22.040 --> 0:11:25.720
<v Speaker 1>perfect teeth for somebody in British anyway. I mean, and

0:11:25.800 --> 0:11:28.440
<v Speaker 1>this is this is crazy. I've never heard anything like, yeah,

0:11:28.480 --> 0:11:30.160
<v Speaker 1>do you need me to like call my parents in

0:11:30.240 --> 0:11:31.959
<v Speaker 1>London or something. You can have a little word with them.

0:11:32.040 --> 0:11:34.800
<v Speaker 1>They can tell you who I am. Oh, sir, I mean,

0:11:34.920 --> 0:11:37.560
<v Speaker 1>I'll call international how we can scape if we want

0:11:37.559 --> 0:11:39.880
<v Speaker 1>you and they can get there a couple of too.

0:11:41.520 --> 0:11:46.520
<v Speaker 1>Are you eating Jane? Lovely Jane? That's in fade over faties?

0:11:47.480 --> 0:11:50.920
<v Speaker 1>All right? See, now we're crossing the line. This is outrageous, Sarah, Like,

0:11:51.080 --> 0:11:53.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what the is you want me to do,

0:11:53.440 --> 0:11:56.160
<v Speaker 1>but I mean, this is this is just bloody ridiculously

0:11:56.440 --> 0:12:00.520
<v Speaker 1>you know anything, and if anything you say, anything you say,

0:12:00.840 --> 0:12:05.360
<v Speaker 1>I'll do to prove to you. I don't I don't

0:12:05.360 --> 0:12:08.559
<v Speaker 1>know how to get you to prove that you're faking it.

0:12:08.679 --> 0:12:15.400
<v Speaker 1>But there's just there's just something slightly untrustworthy about you. Wow.

0:12:16.080 --> 0:12:18.520
<v Speaker 1>I just I don't know, mate, I don't know. I'm

0:12:18.520 --> 0:12:21.600
<v Speaker 1>at the end of my seven now, Sarah, I'm confused.

0:12:21.880 --> 0:12:25.000
<v Speaker 1>You liked him on the date, right, Well, I liked

0:12:25.080 --> 0:12:27.880
<v Speaker 1>him when I met a montender until then we met

0:12:27.880 --> 0:12:30.320
<v Speaker 1>in person and then he started faking them British accent.

0:12:30.720 --> 0:12:32.520
<v Speaker 1>We don't get this, Like, why would I fake a

0:12:32.520 --> 0:12:34.280
<v Speaker 1>British accents? You've already said that I'm a pretty good

0:12:34.320 --> 0:12:36.160
<v Speaker 1>looking guy, and I've got perfect teeth, and I've got,

0:12:36.160 --> 0:12:38.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, everything else, So I wouldn't really have a

0:12:38.080 --> 0:12:42.160
<v Speaker 1>problem getting dates, would I? You know? I mean, you're

0:12:42.200 --> 0:12:44.240
<v Speaker 1>attractive enough on your own. I don't feel like you

0:12:44.360 --> 0:12:46.760
<v Speaker 1>have to lay it on that thick like. You do

0:12:46.840 --> 0:12:48.880
<v Speaker 1>have nice teeth and you are attractive, which is why

0:12:49.000 --> 0:12:51.240
<v Speaker 1>you don't need to fake the accent, because you have

0:12:51.400 --> 0:12:54.679
<v Speaker 1>some other stuff going for you already. That's are you

0:12:55.000 --> 0:12:59.360
<v Speaker 1>talking about, Sarah? Are you would dialect coach now or something?

0:12:59.520 --> 0:13:03.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm in I'm from London, Crystal Palace, s W sixteen.

0:13:03.840 --> 0:13:08.560
<v Speaker 1>What else do you need to know? James? It doesn't

0:13:08.559 --> 0:13:11.120
<v Speaker 1>sound like Sarah is gonna believe you no matter what.

0:13:11.600 --> 0:13:15.280
<v Speaker 1>For for the record, James, I believe you that you're British. Yeah,

0:13:15.320 --> 0:13:18.920
<v Speaker 1>thank you. Okay, what neighborhood are you from? I just

0:13:18.960 --> 0:13:23.360
<v Speaker 1>said that Crystal Palace sounds made up to me. Yeah,

0:13:27.280 --> 0:13:30.000
<v Speaker 1>there's a football team there's a football team I live.

0:13:30.160 --> 0:13:33.320
<v Speaker 1>I lived right on Church Road. Right, it would be

0:13:33.400 --> 0:13:41.040
<v Speaker 1>called Church Road. Okay, Hey, Sarah, I would love to

0:13:41.080 --> 0:13:42.839
<v Speaker 1>ask you if you'll go out on the second date

0:13:42.880 --> 0:13:45.520
<v Speaker 1>with James. I don't think he can drop the accent

0:13:45.559 --> 0:13:48.200
<v Speaker 1>because I have a feeling that it's real. Are you

0:13:48.200 --> 0:13:50.720
<v Speaker 1>willing to go out with him again? Sarah? Do it?

0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:57.480
<v Speaker 1>Don't sabotage this? Yeah, nope, what I No? No, I can't.

0:13:57.559 --> 0:14:00.480
<v Speaker 1>I'm not going to waste my time with somebody who

0:14:00.480 --> 0:14:03.120
<v Speaker 1>wants to be a charlatan and line to my face

0:14:03.320 --> 0:14:05.920
<v Speaker 1>and I don't need that. I don't know how he's

0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:08.840
<v Speaker 1>convinced you guys, but he certainly hasn't open to me.

0:14:09.080 --> 0:14:11.439
<v Speaker 1>And I wasn't born yesterday. I'm not gonna waste my time.

0:14:11.679 --> 0:14:14.960
<v Speaker 1>Oh my gosh, you're doing you are having a laugh?

0:14:17.000 --> 0:14:21.040
<v Speaker 1>Sorry James, No second date for you, man. I just

0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:22.520
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what the sights there. I don't know

0:14:22.520 --> 0:14:24.280
<v Speaker 1>what to say. You know you missed out, loved you

0:14:24.320 --> 0:14:27.080
<v Speaker 1>missed out? That's all right, same. I'm sure there are

0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:28.640
<v Speaker 1>plenty of other girls on tenning that they have to give.

0:14:28.720 --> 0:14:38.400
<v Speaker 1>Drop the nickes for you any time? Wow? This go? Wow? Well?

0:14:38.440 --> 0:14:40.400
<v Speaker 1>Thanks a lot for your time, both of you. We

0:14:40.480 --> 0:14:43.680
<v Speaker 1>appreciate it. Sarah better, better luck on tender and finding

0:14:43.720 --> 0:14:47.120
<v Speaker 1>like a real American guy who's not faking it like

0:14:47.240 --> 0:14:52.960
<v Speaker 1>James is. I'm not fighting this thing. Oh what hy you?

0:14:53.000 --> 0:14:56.960
<v Speaker 1>Listen up right, listen. I'll send you just for giggles,

0:14:56.960 --> 0:14:59.800
<v Speaker 1>I'll send you everything. I'll send you everything, my possible

0:15:00.120 --> 0:15:02.200
<v Speaker 1>my green card, I'll send you everything just so that

0:15:02.400 --> 0:15:04.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, you know I mean, I'll show you the

0:15:04.080 --> 0:15:05.520
<v Speaker 1>tattoo of a Union Jack on the end of my

0:15:09.240 --> 0:15:11.920
<v Speaker 1>I hope you actually have that. That would be amazing.