1 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:08,600 Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that finally secured a big name 2 00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:14,840 Speaker 1: celeb to endorse his prophylactic company, Nick Cannon's Colossal Convents. 3 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:20,919 Speaker 2: They were almost forty of the time. I don't think 4 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:22,640 Speaker 2: that that's good endorsement. 5 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:26,480 Speaker 1: Good luck with laser stories, the segment where we read 6 00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:28,800 Speaker 1: weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, 7 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:31,960 Speaker 1: except we've got a laser and those other whoopsie babies. 8 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:35,519 Speaker 1: Just know this first laser story is out of Massachusetts. 9 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:39,280 Speaker 1: If you think that soap opera storylines are too sensational 10 00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:42,120 Speaker 1: to happen in real life, yeah, well you don't know enough. 11 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:43,559 Speaker 2: People who watch those shows. 12 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:46,240 Speaker 1: And I say that because a sixty four year old 13 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:50,400 Speaker 1: grandmother named rock sand Ducet was in love with soap 14 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:54,440 Speaker 1: opera star Thorston K of The Bold and the Beautiful 15 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:55,840 Speaker 1: Love Love. 16 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,480 Speaker 2: I don't care who knows it, I give you that. 17 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:05,200 Speaker 1: Apparently some scammer was texting Roxanne pretending to be Thorston, 18 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:10,640 Speaker 1: and of course she believed it was real. One message 19 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:14,560 Speaker 1: from fake Thorston said, I need you so much you 20 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:18,400 Speaker 1: have to get rid of your husband, honey. 21 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:20,679 Speaker 2: So they're actually just using the script from one of the. 22 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:26,400 Speaker 1: Bold Roxanne replied, saying I need to do some thinking 23 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:31,560 Speaker 1: on that, and that's when she hatched a plan. She 24 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:35,280 Speaker 1: told fake Thorston that she makes an amazing soup, a 25 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:39,440 Speaker 1: special potion if you will, and when he gets home, 26 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:43,920 Speaker 1: her husband will be hungry. A few hours later, she wrote, quote, 27 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:46,640 Speaker 1: hubby got back not feeling well. 28 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:51,200 Speaker 2: I can collect life insurance? 29 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:59,960 Speaker 1: Why writing a text message to know that the plan 30 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:04,280 Speaker 1: is afoot? And Roxanne's husband actually did have some kind 31 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:07,000 Speaker 1: of medical event and she was the one who called 32 00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:10,120 Speaker 1: nine to one one. Yeah, but he has since recovered 33 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:11,359 Speaker 1: and will be just fine. 34 00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:14,600 Speaker 2: When is she gonna find out it's not Thorston, it's 35 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:17,399 Speaker 2: his evil twin and her Well. 36 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:19,720 Speaker 1: Didn't take long for the police to zero in on 37 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:23,280 Speaker 1: Roxand and she's been charged with attempted murder, along with 38 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:26,120 Speaker 1: resisting arrest and assault on a cop. As for the 39 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:29,880 Speaker 1: fake scammer, he hasn't been found, and the real Thorston 40 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:33,280 Speaker 1: k has yet to comment. I just realized that's probably 41 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:35,600 Speaker 1: why we have the text messages, because she got arrested. 42 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:37,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, you just realized that. I was like, are they 43 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:40,480 Speaker 2: gonna catch her? Yeah? I still don't know who did it. 44 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:44,720 Speaker 1: Obviously, this next lays the stories out of Miami's. Recently, 45 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:47,760 Speaker 1: there was some speculation online that there were large gray 46 00:02:47,919 --> 00:02:51,160 Speaker 1: aliens walking around a mall in Florida. 47 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:51,880 Speaker 2: I love it. 48 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:54,200 Speaker 1: And then just the other day there were some more 49 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:56,119 Speaker 1: spotted in the hills of Brazil. 50 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:05,119 Speaker 2: Just Alexis without her fake tannery Overzil, I'll be tank. 51 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:08,520 Speaker 1: And while this might scare some people, one city in 52 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:11,000 Speaker 1: the US is trying to get their attention and say, hey, 53 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:12,040 Speaker 1: come over here. 54 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,680 Speaker 2: Visit us. We want you. 55 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:18,360 Speaker 1: Because Lexington, Kentucky, has officially launched the first ever interstellar 56 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:19,720 Speaker 1: travel advertisement. 57 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,280 Speaker 2: I'm actually being serious. 58 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:26,480 Speaker 1: A group of Kentucky scientists, linguists, and scholars all got 59 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:31,240 Speaker 1: together to figure out how best to advertise to other planets, 60 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:34,080 Speaker 1: and they came up with the idea of beaming a 61 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:38,200 Speaker 1: message with a trapezoid laser into a neighboring solar system 62 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:41,360 Speaker 1: that's a mirror forty light years away from Earth. 63 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:45,600 Speaker 2: Okay, Oh, so now we're putting commercials out there. 64 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: Well, the reason that they're going there first is because 65 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:51,560 Speaker 1: scientists believe there's a very good chance that there is 66 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:53,960 Speaker 1: life in that particular solar system. 67 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,440 Speaker 2: Oh okay, so what's in the message? 68 00:03:56,600 --> 00:04:01,280 Speaker 1: Ye? First, They included map images of Kentucky's enrolling hills. 69 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:04,360 Speaker 1: They can see that the open space would be perfect 70 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:06,040 Speaker 1: for landing a giant spacecraft. 71 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:07,160 Speaker 2: Oh yeah. 72 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:12,120 Speaker 1: They also included some prime numbers aliens love prime numbers, 73 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:16,840 Speaker 1: an audio recording of blues music, and the molecular structure 74 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:23,000 Speaker 1: for water, bourbon and dopamine. Because, as they say, Lexington's fun. 75 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:26,240 Speaker 2: It's really funny. Alexis, is your mom on like the 76 00:04:26,279 --> 00:04:28,720 Speaker 2: tourism board for a city? Oh yeah, she is, so 77 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:30,200 Speaker 2: I need to tell her to start reaching out to. 78 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:34,039 Speaker 1: The brigade the whole untapped. 79 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:34,240 Speaker 2: Market out there. 80 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:37,880 Speaker 1: According to calculations, the ADS should reach its target demo 81 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:39,919 Speaker 1: in the year twenty sixty three. 82 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:42,080 Speaker 2: Ah, it's not too far away. 83 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:47,080 Speaker 1: If the message works, extraterrestrials should hop in their spaceships 84 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:50,400 Speaker 1: for a short two hundred and thirty five trillion mile. 85 00:04:50,279 --> 00:04:52,960 Speaker 2: Road trip over to Earth. But they're in Miami. They 86 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,960 Speaker 2: can't just take a train or something. We want more. Yeah, 87 00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:59,000 Speaker 2: get all their friends to cross that stuff. 88 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:01,960 Speaker 1: Not bad. This next story is out of say it 89 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:09,159 Speaker 1: ain't so Joe HQ. Nostalgia death something that ceases to 90 00:05:09,279 --> 00:05:12,159 Speaker 1: exist even though virtually nobody knew was still existed in 91 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:12,839 Speaker 1: the first place. 92 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:16,200 Speaker 2: Wait, you mean like the soap operas we started with, 93 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:17,320 Speaker 2: Is that what you're talking about? 94 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:20,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, something that went away that you didn't even realize. 95 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:21,080 Speaker 2: Was still a round. 96 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:25,240 Speaker 1: Okay, because the makers of Fruit Striped gum just announced 97 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:29,560 Speaker 1: it's been discontinued after an incredible fifty five. 98 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,240 Speaker 2: Year ride, that zebra gum. 99 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:34,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, the best gum in the world for five seconds. 100 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,680 Speaker 1: Fifty five years is a pretty long time for a 101 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:38,760 Speaker 1: gum with the flavor that didn't last more than twenty 102 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:41,520 Speaker 1: five seconds. Yeah, seriously, if the name rings a bell, 103 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:44,159 Speaker 1: this was the gum with that zebra mascot on it. 104 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:45,520 Speaker 2: Here's a photo of it. 105 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:49,920 Speaker 1: It has zebra striped bright colors on the actual gum pieces. 106 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:52,920 Speaker 1: Just seeing a picture is bringing back so many strong, 107 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:57,200 Speaker 1: like junior high memories that stuff and the rappers had 108 00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:58,880 Speaker 1: printed temporary tattoos on. 109 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:02,760 Speaker 2: Oh that's right. Why they stopping? That's nic. 110 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:05,640 Speaker 1: It was launched back in nineteen sixty nine and it 111 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:09,880 Speaker 1: came in five flavors, wet and wild melon, cherry, lemon, orange, 112 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:14,040 Speaker 1: and peach. Also wet and wild melon just got him canceled. 113 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:16,880 Speaker 2: There was also briefly a chocolate flavor. Back in the 114 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:20,480 Speaker 2: late seven chocolate gum. Nobody asked for that. 115 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:24,400 Speaker 1: As usual, when stuff like this happened, some opportunists ran 116 00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:26,400 Speaker 1: out to buy the remaining stocks so they could sell 117 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:28,200 Speaker 1: it on eBay for crazy prices. 118 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:32,040 Speaker 2: I always loved that suddenly people want it again. If 119 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:34,480 Speaker 2: you wanted it before, it wouldn't have gone away only 120 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:35,479 Speaker 2: because it's gone. 121 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:39,760 Speaker 1: Yeah. But fun fact, the zebra mascot's name was Yipes, 122 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:46,080 Speaker 1: and there was an ad slogan proclaiming Yipes stripes that 123 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:50,760 Speaker 1: was actually used as a clue on Jeopardy once. And 124 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:52,520 Speaker 1: that makes me think about the time our own little 125 00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:56,000 Speaker 1: Green Guy had a sponsorship for an autobody place. Oh 126 00:06:56,120 --> 00:07:00,280 Speaker 1: really remember the tagline that he had humpers bumper. 127 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:05,040 Speaker 2: Business just kept rolling in. 128 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:07,440 Speaker 1: That's how I means Blaser Stories has come to an 129 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:09,360 Speaker 1: end for the day. We'll do it again, same time 130 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:10,240 Speaker 1: on Monday.