WEBVTT - Baby, Slowww Down! 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.159 Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio 0:00:03.279 --> 0:00:04.600 and the Black Effects. 0:00:15.560 --> 0:00:18.400 Shit be back on the air. Happy New Year, everybody. 0:00:18.800 --> 0:00:21.239 We're back with yet another Can't Fully Reckless episode with 0:00:21.320 --> 0:00:22.520 your girl just hilarious. 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:23.360 What do I do? 0:00:23.720 --> 0:00:26.040 I'd be fixing thats same as I did last year. 0:00:26.079 --> 0:00:28.360 I'm gonna do the same shit this year. We're just 0:00:28.400 --> 0:00:30.840 gonna keep on getting bigger and better, keep on growing 0:00:30.840 --> 0:00:32.040 the podcast audience. 0:00:32.320 --> 0:00:33.280 As I came in. 0:00:33.400 --> 0:00:36.600 Number five, the Great Brother Charlemagne to God, let me 0:00:36.680 --> 0:00:39.760 know that our podcast came in number five, y'all. We 0:00:39.880 --> 0:00:44.040 in top motherfucking five. That's nice, that's amazing, and we're 0:00:44.040 --> 0:00:46.120 gonna jump straight into it. We got a voice note 0:00:46.120 --> 0:00:48.400 for the top of the year, y'all know I love those. 0:00:48.760 --> 0:00:50.320 But we also got some paragraphs. 0:00:50.360 --> 0:00:50.640 Y'all. 0:00:51.120 --> 0:00:53.280 People know these people voices and they ain't trying to 0:00:53.320 --> 0:00:56.080 get caught. All right, let's jump straight into it. 0:00:56.480 --> 0:01:00.040 Hey, us, I just want to say, like, I'm a 0:01:00.080 --> 0:01:02.440 huge fan of yours. You know, I've been watching for years, 0:01:03.120 --> 0:01:05.800 and you know I love you. I love your your work, 0:01:05.880 --> 0:01:08.319 I love all that you're doing. I just wanted to 0:01:08.319 --> 0:01:13.920 get get that out the way. But I really need advice, Like, 0:01:14.000 --> 0:01:17.600 oh my god, So I've been basically I've been dating 0:01:17.640 --> 0:01:21.880 this guy for the last how long has it been? 0:01:22.040 --> 0:01:27.600 Four months? And we kind of moved pretty quickly because 0:01:27.720 --> 0:01:30.680 I noticed that, you know, like he's a really good person. 0:01:31.840 --> 0:01:35.319 I just came out of a not just but earlier 0:01:35.360 --> 0:01:37.399 this year, you know, I came out of a toxic 0:01:38.080 --> 0:01:44.959 relationship with my daughter's die, and when I met him, 0:01:45.000 --> 0:01:47.280 it was like a breath of fresh air. So things 0:01:47.400 --> 0:01:51.240 kind of moved quickly to the point where I invited 0:01:51.320 --> 0:01:53.400 him to move in with me. 0:01:54.640 --> 0:02:01.600 Okay, girl, That's where the problem started, because I noticed 0:02:01.640 --> 0:02:05.560 that he has a lot of issues. 0:02:08.360 --> 0:02:13.880 He has issues with ed, like he can't stay. 0:02:13.720 --> 0:02:14.520 Up, and. 0:02:16.880 --> 0:02:19.520 He didn't tell me that at first, so I had 0:02:19.520 --> 0:02:21.400 to find out. I had to find that out on 0:02:21.400 --> 0:02:24.080 my own, Like, this is not something that he disclosed 0:02:24.080 --> 0:02:26.560 to me. He claims that he didn't know about it 0:02:27.400 --> 0:02:29.000 and that he thought it was just every once in 0:02:29.040 --> 0:02:34.359 a while. I also realize that he's a little bit 0:02:34.400 --> 0:02:39.280 so like not saying that he's dumb, but like he 0:02:39.320 --> 0:02:44.160 doesn't stimulate me mentally. I will say, the good about 0:02:44.240 --> 0:02:46.120 him is that he's a really good. 0:02:45.960 --> 0:02:48.079 Person, like genuinely a. 0:02:48.000 --> 0:02:50.880 Good person at heart. I just feel like I'm not 0:02:51.280 --> 0:02:55.320 four hundred percent happy, But at the same time, like 0:02:55.639 --> 0:02:58.680 I'm trying to reason with myself, Like, you know, nobody's perfect. 0:02:59.520 --> 0:03:03.200 You know, like if you find somebody who is willing 0:03:03.240 --> 0:03:06.000 to fight for you and willing to work things out 0:03:06.040 --> 0:03:09.920 with you, then stick with them. But he is, like 0:03:10.000 --> 0:03:12.880 he's willing to break things out, and you know, we 0:03:12.960 --> 0:03:16.920 talk about things and you know, but I'm just not 0:03:17.040 --> 0:03:20.239 satisfied in the bedroom. And on top of not being 0:03:20.280 --> 0:03:26.040 satisfied in the bedroom, he's also like he also calls 0:03:26.080 --> 0:03:29.320 himself an entrepreneur, but he's not bringing in enough money 0:03:29.320 --> 0:03:31.760 to the point where for the last three months that 0:03:31.840 --> 0:03:35.120 he's been by the last month that he's been living 0:03:35.160 --> 0:03:37.640 with me, he didn't have his affiant and I was 0:03:37.680 --> 0:03:43.040 a problem. So I have kids. He's good with my kids, 0:03:43.560 --> 0:03:46.880 you know, like he's a good, good, genuinely good person. 0:03:46.960 --> 0:03:49.320 But I'm just trying to I don't know, like I 0:03:49.360 --> 0:03:52.680 guess I'm asked. My question is I'm sorry, I know 0:03:52.760 --> 0:03:54.280 this is kind of long. I was trying to give 0:03:54.280 --> 0:03:58.520 you all the details, but my question is, like, is 0:03:58.560 --> 0:04:01.600 it worth staying in this relationship? Like the ed problem 0:04:02.680 --> 0:04:04.520 he told me that he you know, goes to the 0:04:04.560 --> 0:04:05.840 doctor and try to see what's. 0:04:05.760 --> 0:04:06.440 Going on with it. 0:04:07.000 --> 0:04:09.720 And you know, he he did say that he would 0:04:09.760 --> 0:04:12.480 get a real job, like a regular job whatever, not 0:04:12.560 --> 0:04:15.200 just doing uber. So you know, these are things I 0:04:15.200 --> 0:04:18.320 guess that can be worked on, but I just don't 0:04:18.320 --> 0:04:22.440 have the patience and I don't want to settle, So 0:04:23.600 --> 0:04:26.039 I just I guess I need your here and put 0:04:26.120 --> 0:04:29.240 on What would you do or do you think that 0:04:29.320 --> 0:04:33.080 these are things that you know that I can I 0:04:33.120 --> 0:04:35.840 should be more patient with? 0:04:37.360 --> 0:04:41.920 Well, I appreciate you first of all for even having 0:04:42.120 --> 0:04:45.840 the balls, you know, well, having the hearts. Sorry, trying 0:04:45.880 --> 0:04:48.040 to get better with how I talk, trying to get 0:04:48.080 --> 0:04:53.320 more professional, you know, thank you for even sharing because 0:04:54.040 --> 0:04:58.200 this is in a lot of cases a very prideful 0:04:59.240 --> 0:05:02.480 thing like people don't like to especially women, especially us. 0:05:02.520 --> 0:05:05.520 You know, we don't like to put all of our 0:05:05.560 --> 0:05:08.280 business out there on front street. Because this does seems 0:05:08.320 --> 0:05:10.360 like a big It seemed like a big mistake that 0:05:10.440 --> 0:05:10.919 you made. 0:05:11.360 --> 0:05:11.760 Mistake. 0:05:11.880 --> 0:05:15.200 Won I'm not saying the relationship is a mistake. Let 0:05:15.240 --> 0:05:19.640 me be very careful. I'm saying the mistake was moving 0:05:19.680 --> 0:05:21.680 him in too quick. Now I do understand you said 0:05:21.680 --> 0:05:24.080 you had just got out of a really toxic relationship 0:05:24.200 --> 0:05:28.080 with your ex. I believe you said your kid's dad 0:05:28.480 --> 0:05:32.400 your ex, and you were a bit vulnerable. I'm gonna 0:05:32.400 --> 0:05:34.839 go ahead and say you were vulnerable, maybe even a 0:05:34.880 --> 0:05:37.839 bit gullible, you know, because who doesn't want love even, 0:05:38.240 --> 0:05:42.280 you know, especially after a bad relationship or not a 0:05:42.320 --> 0:05:45.200 bad relationship, but you know, just a relationship that didn't work. 0:05:45.279 --> 0:05:47.359 Because I know it couldn't have been all bad because 0:05:47.400 --> 0:05:49.640 you were there, and that was a long term relationship 0:05:49.640 --> 0:05:51.960 that you had gotten out of. I think you didn't 0:05:52.000 --> 0:05:55.800 give yourself enough time to heal. I think you guys 0:05:55.839 --> 0:06:01.159 should have just continue to date, because dating is how 0:06:01.200 --> 0:06:04.360 you get to know someone, and it doesn't matter how 0:06:04.480 --> 0:06:07.640 long that takes. You have to get to know someone 0:06:07.680 --> 0:06:10.760 before just moving them in and then it's not just you, 0:06:10.839 --> 0:06:14.359 it's you and your kids. Now again, I am not 0:06:14.520 --> 0:06:18.320 calling your relationship a mistake. You just made the mistake, 0:06:18.400 --> 0:06:21.640 in my opinion, of moving him in. Because what made 0:06:21.680 --> 0:06:25.440 you move him in after four months, well, after three 0:06:25.480 --> 0:06:26.520 months of dealing with him? 0:06:26.760 --> 0:06:27.839 No, after one month? 0:06:27.920 --> 0:06:29.840 Right, because you said y'all been dealing with each other, 0:06:29.920 --> 0:06:32.440 y'all been together you know, y'all been dealing with each 0:06:32.440 --> 0:06:36.839 other for four months and he's been living living with 0:06:36.920 --> 0:06:42.200 you for three months, So one month and you moved 0:06:42.279 --> 0:06:44.880 him in. Now I'm repeating this back to you because 0:06:44.880 --> 0:06:47.719 most of the time, when I repeat somebody's mess back 0:06:47.760 --> 0:06:51.960 to them, they easily can see it. They easily can 0:06:52.000 --> 0:06:54.440 see the mistake that they made before I even give 0:06:54.480 --> 0:06:57.560 the advice. Sometimes you just got to hear your shit back, 0:06:57.680 --> 0:06:59.600 you know what I mean, And that's what makes all 0:06:59.600 --> 0:07:01.520 the difference. You know, when you hear it out loud, 0:07:01.560 --> 0:07:03.640 when you hear it coming from somebody else, and it's 0:07:03.680 --> 0:07:06.239 kind of easier to judge it or even give advice 0:07:06.320 --> 0:07:08.599 if it was someone else going through it. But it's you, 0:07:08.960 --> 0:07:10.960 So me repeating it back to you should make you 0:07:11.040 --> 0:07:14.880 be like, oh shit, yeah, this is crazy, but we've 0:07:14.920 --> 0:07:15.600 all done it. 0:07:15.720 --> 0:07:16.160 Well. 0:07:16.720 --> 0:07:20.400 I ain't done that part, but I've definitely moved too quickly, 0:07:21.160 --> 0:07:24.000 you know, fast and rapid with a guy that I 0:07:24.120 --> 0:07:26.880 barely even knew. If you love me, you'll listen to 0:07:26.920 --> 0:07:30.320 this commercial and then we'll be right back. Okay, So 0:07:30.440 --> 0:07:33.320 let's get into the eden. When he moves in, you 0:07:33.520 --> 0:07:36.960 notice that sex is a problem because he can't keep 0:07:37.000 --> 0:07:39.320 it up. Now, you said that is something that you 0:07:39.360 --> 0:07:42.720 had to find out. No, man, Well, I'm not gonna 0:07:42.720 --> 0:07:44.920 say no man, but a lot of men ain't gonna 0:07:45.000 --> 0:07:46.640 let you know that they can't get it up. You 0:07:46.720 --> 0:07:49.400 understand what I'm saying, because a lot of men don't 0:07:49.440 --> 0:07:51.640 even have the answer to why they can't get it up. 0:07:52.240 --> 0:07:54.560 You know, it could be a medical issue, it could 0:07:54.560 --> 0:07:56.960 be something going on there, It could be a disconnect, 0:07:56.960 --> 0:07:59.600 it could be something mentally. And he has to get 0:07:59.600 --> 0:08:01.800 those answers himself. He has to go to a doctor, 0:08:02.000 --> 0:08:03.920 he has to go to a therapist. Something he has 0:08:03.960 --> 0:08:06.520 to do to take care of himself. Like he said, 0:08:06.840 --> 0:08:09.160 he didn't even know. He probably didn't know he had 0:08:09.200 --> 0:08:11.520 the problem, but he probably thought that it was because 0:08:11.800 --> 0:08:15.160 of the person. You know, a lot of men don't 0:08:15.200 --> 0:08:19.080 really know, and instead of going to find out if 0:08:19.120 --> 0:08:23.080 it's something medical or not, they just assume may maybe 0:08:23.120 --> 0:08:25.440 it's the last bitch. Maybe maybe it's this woman that's 0:08:25.560 --> 0:08:26.560 just not getting me up. 0:08:26.800 --> 0:08:27.320 Maybe you know. 0:08:27.880 --> 0:08:32.480 So I don't I can't say that I blame him 0:08:32.480 --> 0:08:36.280 for not telling you because he probably didn't even know why. 0:08:36.960 --> 0:08:38.960 You know, he didn't know that it would happen with you, 0:08:38.960 --> 0:08:43.360 you know. Now that's still no excuse for him not 0:08:43.440 --> 0:08:45.800 going to get checked out. Yes, that can be worked on, 0:08:45.960 --> 0:08:49.319 all right, that's a big thing. Not being sexually satisfied 0:08:49.640 --> 0:08:53.560 in the bedroom does play a big part in a relationship. Okay, 0:08:53.920 --> 0:08:57.079 moving on. You said he calls himself an entrepreneur? 0:08:57.360 --> 0:08:58.079 What does he do? 0:08:58.440 --> 0:09:02.600 Not even being nosy, It's just things that I want 0:09:02.679 --> 0:09:05.359 to know so I can help you better. Is it 0:09:05.480 --> 0:09:08.640 something that does he have a business that you do 0:09:08.760 --> 0:09:13.040 believe in that you do believe with some investing or 0:09:13.520 --> 0:09:17.240 some hard work, or some more patience or some more building, 0:09:17.280 --> 0:09:22.560 the right resources can flourish and take care of him 0:09:22.800 --> 0:09:26.440 and you, you know, and or his half. You know 0:09:26.440 --> 0:09:28.800 what I'm saying. Is it something that can be a 0:09:28.880 --> 0:09:32.280 very lucrative business? Is it something you know or is 0:09:32.320 --> 0:09:34.400 he or is it something along the lines of Oh, 0:09:34.440 --> 0:09:36.319 I'm just gonna be a rapper, you know, and hoping 0:09:36.320 --> 0:09:39.200 my music kick off, which can also happen these days. 0:09:39.240 --> 0:09:41.400 You hear this shit that's coming out now, shit, you 0:09:41.400 --> 0:09:43.120 ain't even got to know how to rap to become 0:09:43.160 --> 0:09:46.520 a rapper, so, you know, so not judging if he is, 0:09:46.600 --> 0:09:49.120 if it is something that way I'm just saying, because 0:09:49.160 --> 0:09:52.000 you can't really shit on somebody's dreams unless you do 0:09:52.080 --> 0:09:54.080 honestly see it for what it is. And it ain't 0:09:54.080 --> 0:09:56.440 gonna work, you know, because a lot of people need 0:09:56.480 --> 0:09:59.200 somebody real. You know, you don't need nobody that's gonna 0:09:59.200 --> 0:10:01.080 shit on you, but you need somebody that's gonna keep 0:10:01.080 --> 0:10:01.680 it real with you. 0:10:01.679 --> 0:10:03.319 Look, baby, no, no, no, no, no. 0:10:03.720 --> 0:10:06.640 This bakery that you're trying to open the market right now, 0:10:06.840 --> 0:10:08.360 it ain't the time for that. So what we need 0:10:08.360 --> 0:10:11.240 to do is get a fucking job until you can 0:10:11.320 --> 0:10:14.480 fund your business idea, until you can get your business 0:10:14.480 --> 0:10:17.120 off the ground. Because I got kids, and if you 0:10:17.200 --> 0:10:19.920 with me, that mean we got kids, because you live. 0:10:19.800 --> 0:10:22.080 Here with us. Now we're in a relationship. 0:10:22.320 --> 0:10:24.040 This is secure. This is something that we have to 0:10:24.080 --> 0:10:28.040 move forward. Bills are today your entrepreneurship and ain't kicking 0:10:28.080 --> 0:10:30.480 off the way that you thought it would or the 0:10:30.480 --> 0:10:33.199 way that it should be right now, you know, how 0:10:33.200 --> 0:10:34.559 long has he been an entrepreneur? 0:10:34.760 --> 0:10:35.600 Does he give. 0:10:35.520 --> 0:10:39.600 Real effort into trying to be an entrepreneur whatever it is, 0:10:39.760 --> 0:10:41.360 you know what I'm saying. Do you see him actually 0:10:41.360 --> 0:10:44.720 working toward a goal? You know, does he have ambition. 0:10:45.280 --> 0:10:47.079 You said, he is a genuinely good person. He's good 0:10:47.080 --> 0:10:49.640 with your kids. That's a plus. A lot of men 0:10:50.040 --> 0:10:54.160 who don't have kids don't typically do well in situations 0:10:54.240 --> 0:10:57.840 with children, you know, and households with children, because they 0:10:57.840 --> 0:10:58.920 don't have the experience. 0:11:00.000 --> 0:11:01.000 It's not most men. 0:11:01.040 --> 0:11:04.000 I'm not putting a percentage on the men, but that's 0:11:04.080 --> 0:11:08.679 just from experience and what I know. So he seems 0:11:08.720 --> 0:11:10.840 to have a great deal of patience because he don't 0:11:10.880 --> 0:11:13.720 even have no kids and you got kids. Okay, you 0:11:13.760 --> 0:11:17.160 did say he drives Uber. Now I know Uber can 0:11:17.200 --> 0:11:18.680 get you some money. You know, I got a bunch 0:11:18.679 --> 0:11:20.440 of little cousins that do it. I know a lot 0:11:20.480 --> 0:11:23.319 of people that do Uber. You know, you hit them 0:11:23.320 --> 0:11:25.440 peak times and you get get on that road at 0:11:25.440 --> 0:11:27.120 a certain time, and you. 0:11:26.840 --> 0:11:28.800 Put in that work. You can make some money. 0:11:29.200 --> 0:11:33.720 But I understand it's not enough for you. Okay, And 0:11:33.800 --> 0:11:36.800 then you know, you see him conflicted because now I 0:11:36.880 --> 0:11:39.120 understand I've been in your place before, I've been in 0:11:39.160 --> 0:11:41.000 your shoes. I'm not going to sit here and just 0:11:41.559 --> 0:11:44.640 act like I haven't. You know, you're conflicted right now 0:11:44.960 --> 0:11:49.000 because you're not happy in the bed. You're not happy 0:11:49.080 --> 0:11:53.760 with him financially, because you feel like you just move 0:11:53.840 --> 0:11:57.680 this guy in and while you do like him, while 0:11:57.720 --> 0:11:59.800 you do love him, you know, maybe even love him, 0:12:00.440 --> 0:12:02.679 you feel like you made a mistake. That's just what 0:12:02.720 --> 0:12:05.280 it is, and you just try and not to say it, 0:12:05.320 --> 0:12:07.720 try not to look at it that way. The good 0:12:07.760 --> 0:12:11.680 part is, y'are only four months in, Okay. I like 0:12:11.800 --> 0:12:15.880 when you said nobody's perfect. No, nobody's perfect. And yes, 0:12:15.960 --> 0:12:18.240 if you do find somebody that genuinely loves you and 0:12:18.440 --> 0:12:20.600 genuinely is a good person, because it's hard to find 0:12:20.640 --> 0:12:23.800 those people these days, then you do stick with it. However, 0:12:24.120 --> 0:12:27.720 you do not settle. You just don't settle. Where was 0:12:27.760 --> 0:12:30.120 he living before? Is there any chance that he could 0:12:30.160 --> 0:12:32.600 go back there and you guys could start over? You 0:12:32.640 --> 0:12:35.040 know what I'm saying, because what I don't want you 0:12:35.120 --> 0:12:40.440 to do is settle, keep him in your house. And 0:12:40.880 --> 0:12:45.559 you're unhappy, and you just praying on patience, praying that 0:12:45.600 --> 0:12:47.800 one day at the work, and then you're slowly but 0:12:47.880 --> 0:12:50.880 surely getting miserable, and then you're starting to dislike him, 0:12:50.920 --> 0:12:52.440 and now you're starting to hate him, and then you're 0:12:52.440 --> 0:12:55.040 starting to resent him because that's not fair to him. 0:12:55.080 --> 0:12:57.560 Either it's not fair to you, and it's not fair 0:12:57.600 --> 0:13:00.600 to your kids because the longer he's there, he's building 0:13:00.640 --> 0:13:04.920 a bond with them. Okay, but mommy's not happy. He 0:13:05.040 --> 0:13:08.760 wasn't even around long enough for them to meet him 0:13:08.880 --> 0:13:10.720 and live with him. 0:13:10.840 --> 0:13:11.040 Right. 0:13:11.800 --> 0:13:15.040 I'm just telling you from mom to mom, I've done this, 0:13:15.400 --> 0:13:20.199 I've been in this before. Okay, I'm not judging you, says, 0:13:20.200 --> 0:13:24.880 I'm just telling you, baby. So even with that being said, 0:13:25.480 --> 0:13:30.520 you really don't see a future here. You're trying to 0:13:30.600 --> 0:13:35.760 see a future here. Okay, I would say, don't give 0:13:35.840 --> 0:13:38.440 up on it one hundred per but sit down and 0:13:38.480 --> 0:13:41.360 have a real conversation with him. Sit down and have 0:13:41.400 --> 0:13:43.600 a real conversation with him, because it ain't all on him. 0:13:44.080 --> 0:13:45.880 It's not you invited. 0:13:45.440 --> 0:13:46.240 Him to move with you. 0:13:46.400 --> 0:13:49.920 Those were your words, that that was an action that 0:13:50.240 --> 0:13:53.360 no man in his place could refuse or would refuse. 0:13:54.000 --> 0:13:54.280 Shit. 0:13:54.800 --> 0:13:57.360 You know, now, if you ask him, I bet he 0:13:57.480 --> 0:13:59.959 in love like a mother. You know what I'm saying. 0:14:00.880 --> 0:14:04.400 He got a partner that's helping him, that's understanding a situation. 0:14:05.040 --> 0:14:05.120 You. 0:14:05.280 --> 0:14:07.640 Of course, you have beautiful children that he's created this 0:14:07.679 --> 0:14:10.800 beautiful bond with, you know, probably making him want some 0:14:10.880 --> 0:14:13.640 kids of his own, you know what I'm saying. And 0:14:14.400 --> 0:14:18.679 you seem like just this a phenomenal woman. You do 0:14:18.760 --> 0:14:22.480 deserve more, but you just made a mistake moving too fast, 0:14:22.800 --> 0:14:26.360 moving too quick. It's okay to still heal because I 0:14:26.400 --> 0:14:28.880 bet you still do things like compare him to your 0:14:28.920 --> 0:14:31.280 ex in some ways when you weren't even happy in 0:14:31.320 --> 0:14:32.280 that relationship. 0:14:32.840 --> 0:14:33.880 Because I've done it before. 0:14:33.960 --> 0:14:36.480 You know, we just start comparing and we'll try to 0:14:36.520 --> 0:14:40.760 find the good and the last relationship as it compares 0:14:40.840 --> 0:14:43.560 to what you're what's happening now, what you're going through now, 0:14:44.240 --> 0:14:46.240 because I bet you said it to yourself. 0:14:47.040 --> 0:14:48.320 I mean the nigga was toxic. 0:14:48.360 --> 0:14:50.400 The last nigga was toxic, but I mean he could 0:14:50.440 --> 0:14:53.720 get it up and he was getting money, but you 0:14:53.840 --> 0:14:57.120 still wasn't happy. Okay, hold up, hold up, I know 0:14:57.200 --> 0:14:59.360 this shit getting good, But listen to just a couple 0:14:59.400 --> 0:15:01.600 seconds of a I'm marshal. If you love me, you'll listen. 0:15:03.480 --> 0:15:07.000 Nobody has it all off top. 0:15:07.560 --> 0:15:07.960 Okay. 0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:12.080 I'm letting you know that from experience. I'm not saying 0:15:12.280 --> 0:15:14.360 it won't get there, because it can. You can have 0:15:14.440 --> 0:15:19.000 it all. You can have whatever you want. Manifest you 0:15:19.080 --> 0:15:19.640 can You can. 0:15:19.680 --> 0:15:20.200 It's real. 0:15:20.840 --> 0:15:23.680 You can have whatever you want. When you meet your partner. 0:15:23.720 --> 0:15:25.400 Know he ain't God always be at the top, But 0:15:25.480 --> 0:15:29.160 y'all can build together and make it there together. If 0:15:29.160 --> 0:15:31.680 you already there, shit, build him up and he can 0:15:31.760 --> 0:15:33.960 be up there with you. If you meet a man 0:15:34.000 --> 0:15:37.640 that's already there and you ain't there, shit, and he 0:15:37.680 --> 0:15:39.880 believes in you and he loves you and he wants you, 0:15:40.000 --> 0:15:42.760 he gonna build you up and you're gonna make it there. 0:15:43.520 --> 0:15:45.080 Okay, you understand me. 0:15:45.160 --> 0:15:48.800 So I think it needs to be a real, genuine conversation. 0:15:48.840 --> 0:15:50.160 And I know you probably don't want to hurt his 0:15:50.160 --> 0:15:51.920 feelings because he is a good person. He is a 0:15:51.960 --> 0:15:54.960 good man at heart, and there's nothing wrong with that. 0:15:55.160 --> 0:15:59.760 There's nothing wrong with being honest and being open. That 0:15:59.760 --> 0:16:04.400 will probably make you our relationship stronger. Tell him be honest. Listen, 0:16:04.400 --> 0:16:06.920 I made a mistake. I was just getting out of 0:16:06.920 --> 0:16:10.320 a relationship. I love you, I really really want this 0:16:10.360 --> 0:16:13.400 to work. And if it's going to work, I need 0:16:13.440 --> 0:16:17.120 you to understand and be open minded enough to not 0:16:17.240 --> 0:16:20.880 take what I'm about to say as insults. I'm not 0:16:20.920 --> 0:16:23.280 happy in the bedroom. That plays the big part in 0:16:23.320 --> 0:16:28.200 our relationship, in any relationship, Okay, but I do suggest 0:16:28.240 --> 0:16:30.760 that you go see something, Go see a doctor, go 0:16:30.920 --> 0:16:33.320 see go see if there's something you can do about it. 0:16:33.760 --> 0:16:36.160 You know, because as painful as it is for me, 0:16:37.160 --> 0:16:40.040 I know it's uncomfortable for you. I know it's painful 0:16:40.040 --> 0:16:42.080 for you to not be able to get it up. Shit, 0:16:42.520 --> 0:16:44.000 you want a nut just as bad as I want 0:16:44.000 --> 0:16:45.760 a nut. You know what I'm saying. 0:16:46.560 --> 0:16:49.840 Death is not one sided. It's both sided. Girl. 0:16:49.920 --> 0:16:51.880 I know he's feeling it. If you're feeling it, you 0:16:51.920 --> 0:16:54.760 know how you think he feeling. If you feeling that way, 0:16:55.120 --> 0:16:57.200 you know what I'm saying. And then move on to 0:16:57.240 --> 0:17:00.680 the finances and be serious and your ground. 0:17:00.960 --> 0:17:01.720 Don't be rude. 0:17:01.840 --> 0:17:03.720 No man wants you to talk down because he probably 0:17:03.720 --> 0:17:07.600 already feel less than because he can't provide. You understand 0:17:07.600 --> 0:17:10.560 what I'm saying. But again, this was your invitation. So 0:17:11.200 --> 0:17:12.840 you just keep that shit a hundred with him too. 0:17:13.440 --> 0:17:17.160 And you do that and tell him this entrepreneur thing 0:17:17.200 --> 0:17:17.760 that you're doing. 0:17:17.800 --> 0:17:19.440 Now, I don't call it a thing. Lord, shit, he 0:17:19.440 --> 0:17:20.400 won't be like, what the fuck? 0:17:20.640 --> 0:17:24.000 Okay, Now, don't minimize it like that, you say, I 0:17:24.080 --> 0:17:27.679 understand you are an entrepreneur. But I need for you 0:17:27.720 --> 0:17:29.359 to get a job until you able to get this 0:17:29.400 --> 0:17:31.960 business off the ground and up and running. You know 0:17:31.960 --> 0:17:34.719 what I'm saying. But it can't happen here. You can 0:17:34.760 --> 0:17:37.000 still come past and see the kids. You can still 0:17:37.000 --> 0:17:39.840 come over. But I think I made the mistake of 0:17:39.880 --> 0:17:43.120 moving too fast and inviting you to move in. And 0:17:43.840 --> 0:17:46.520 I appreciate what you do for me. I appreciate how 0:17:46.560 --> 0:17:53.639 you stimulate me mentally. Actually, damn you said, he don't Okay, Okay, Yeah, 0:17:53.840 --> 0:17:56.240 this conversation needs to happen because I don't want you 0:17:56.280 --> 0:17:59.280 to start resenting him, because that's not fair. It's not 0:17:59.320 --> 0:18:02.240 fair to you, him, more the kids. So he needs 0:18:02.280 --> 0:18:04.680 to go, He needs to move out, and there needs 0:18:04.760 --> 0:18:07.600 to be a distance created. And just in that part, 0:18:07.680 --> 0:18:09.840 in that aspect of it. Now, is he the type 0:18:09.880 --> 0:18:11.600 to blow up on your ass? Is he the type 0:18:11.640 --> 0:18:14.000 that we that would even understand? That's why I'm saying, 0:18:14.040 --> 0:18:17.119 ask him to be open minded if he isn't already, 0:18:17.280 --> 0:18:19.560 you know, because some men won't be able to take that, 0:18:20.160 --> 0:18:21.920 but some men are. 0:18:22.280 --> 0:18:24.680 Some men are able to take. 0:18:24.480 --> 0:18:28.040 The hard, cold truth. Because at times, I know it's cliche, 0:18:28.160 --> 0:18:31.480 but the truth does hurt. But it also matters to 0:18:31.520 --> 0:18:33.680 tell the truth because if you lie, both of y'all 0:18:33.720 --> 0:18:36.400 gonna be unhappy. It ain't gonna it ain't gonna work 0:18:36.400 --> 0:18:37.800 out at the end, because you're gonna blow up one 0:18:37.880 --> 0:18:40.080 day and you're gonna say some things that I damn 0:18:40.160 --> 0:18:44.640 sure know you're gonna regret. Have the conversation while still early. 0:18:45.160 --> 0:18:48.879 Four months is not that long. Okay, Please do that 0:18:48.920 --> 0:18:52.800 for yourself, your sanity, and your baby's too, you know, 0:18:52.960 --> 0:18:55.120 And do that for him too, just for the sake 0:18:55.160 --> 0:18:58.359 of breaking a heart, and for the sake of breaking 0:18:58.400 --> 0:19:01.240 your own heart, you know, because you know you're not happy. 0:19:02.040 --> 0:19:04.560 Check back in with me. Let me know, girl, Okay, 0:19:04.640 --> 0:19:08.000 moving on. I lost my fiance about a month ago. 0:19:08.320 --> 0:19:11.960 Shit wasn't doing the best for months, she would say. 0:19:12.200 --> 0:19:15.840 I wasn't making her happy, wasn't a great father at times, 0:19:16.000 --> 0:19:19.240 rarely having sex. Long story short of female message me 0:19:19.520 --> 0:19:23.280 sending me picks. I sent one back next morning, fiance 0:19:23.480 --> 0:19:29.200 seening it. Damn We split shortly after that after the picture. Okay, 0:19:29.800 --> 0:19:32.119 this girl is my life. We got a daughter and 0:19:32.160 --> 0:19:34.400 she's there for my other kids. How do I get 0:19:34.400 --> 0:19:36.960 her back? First of all, nigga, you ain't even let 0:19:37.000 --> 0:19:39.800 me know shit. You just you leaving some shit out. 0:19:39.840 --> 0:19:41.840 There's some other shit that you do, bene did ain't nobody? 0:19:42.400 --> 0:19:44.560 Uh uh? Your fiance ain't gonna. 0:19:44.440 --> 0:19:47.159 Leave you just because she's seeing a bitch sent a 0:19:47.200 --> 0:19:50.760 picture to your phone. You've been doing something else, and 0:19:50.800 --> 0:19:53.080 I ain't even gonna take your shit until you open 0:19:53.200 --> 0:19:54.679 up all the way up and let me know what 0:19:54.720 --> 0:19:57.959 you did. I ain't playing with you. I am not playing. 0:19:58.320 --> 0:20:00.840 This is crazy. You gonna send me this little bit 0:20:00.880 --> 0:20:03.159 of shit. I'm gonna read it again. I lost my 0:20:03.200 --> 0:20:06.000