WEBVTT - The NFL Week 1 - Emergency Pod

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<v Speaker 1>Pasha. Well, guys, I wish I was here under better circumstances,

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<v Speaker 1>but it is what it is. They done goofed, Daddy,

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<v Speaker 1>They done goofed. Hit me with the emergency pod sirens.

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<v Speaker 1>You around to find out. I'm doing an emergency pod

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<v Speaker 1>for Week one of the NFL, and I'll get to

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<v Speaker 1>all the highlights, but you know what I got to

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<v Speaker 1>address first chair turned around for this. This is serious,

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<v Speaker 1>this is here and yes, yes, I've viewed all the footage. Immediately,

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<v Speaker 1>Miami Dade was fording me body cam footage hours and hours.

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<v Speaker 1>I wanted everything. I was getting traffic light cameras. They

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<v Speaker 1>were sending it to me. They wanted to make sure

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<v Speaker 1>that I had all the information before I went crazy.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh you know he did. He didn't listen to the cops.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't care at all. He doesn't have to listen

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<v Speaker 1>to the cops. That's Tyreek Hill. Oh as speeding. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't care. I don't care. If everyone's grandma was hit

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<v Speaker 1>by him on the way to the game, get out

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<v Speaker 1>of the way. If my kids were duct taped in

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<v Speaker 1>the back of his car, and then I it's the

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<v Speaker 1>game's about to start. We found your kids. Your kids

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<v Speaker 1>were kidnapped. We found them. They're in the back of

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<v Speaker 1>his car. I'm like, it's a nice car. He's gonna

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<v Speaker 1>have underground parking. Let's just let's just leave it till

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<v Speaker 1>after the game. Just do as you're told. That bothers

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<v Speaker 1>me too. When everybody is like, you saw a yah,

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<v Speaker 1>you didn't roll the window down right away, didn't I

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<v Speaker 1>know what was sure? Okay? A lot of people when

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<v Speaker 1>you get pulled over, you're scared shitless. You're worried, you're

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<v Speaker 1>gonna be in trouble. You're you're gonna be find money

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<v Speaker 1>that you might not have, Like you're scared. You're not

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<v Speaker 1>fucking trained for this. They're the ones that do this constantly,

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<v Speaker 1>fucking act better. It was really just one cop, as

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<v Speaker 1>they always say, you know, it's just it's one bad apple.

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<v Speaker 1>Knock it off. It's not one bad apple. Apples suck.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's be clear. When I bite into an apple and

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<v Speaker 1>it's good, I'm shocked and the other cops arounds seem

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<v Speaker 1>like they were being nice. But that's the problem. When

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<v Speaker 1>you have one bad apple, they have to be on

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<v Speaker 1>this guy's team. It's like fucking Dylan Brooks, He's like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>he's an asshole, and now all of his teammates have

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<v Speaker 1>to fucking roll with that clown. The officer there was

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<v Speaker 1>a dick wait for it, wait for it. He wasn't white. Ah, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>thank god, thank god, he wasn't white. He was a Cuban.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh that feels good. Now, some people, uh in the

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<v Speaker 1>black community might lump Cubans with white people. Oh, that's crazy,

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<v Speaker 1>that's absurd and white and there are people in the

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<v Speaker 1>white community that would lump Cubans in the black community.

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<v Speaker 1>That's crazy too. Let's knock it off. People keep saying, well, everybody,

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<v Speaker 1>this is you'd act like this is how you get treated. No,

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<v Speaker 1>that's not true. You ever seen these uh where they

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<v Speaker 1>uncover these horrible things that have happened in these college

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<v Speaker 1>towns and the police department just turns a complete blind eye.

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<v Speaker 1>And those are serious allegation. Not not wearing a seat belt?

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<v Speaker 1>You think you think over in Fansville, the sheriff of

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<v Speaker 1>Doctor Pepperville, you think he's laying hands on a star recruit.

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<v Speaker 1>Not a chance. Now, did I enjoy Tyreek's celebration when

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<v Speaker 1>he scored an eighty yard touchdown reception? Yeah? That I

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<v Speaker 1>think it was funny. Yeah, what have I preferred during

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<v Speaker 1>the national anthem? He'd have laid a face down on

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<v Speaker 1>the ground with his hands behind his back, with owner

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<v Speaker 1>Steven Ross's knee in his back. Oh, I thought that

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<v Speaker 1>would have made a much better statement. I thought that

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<v Speaker 1>would have really got people going. Now, what do I

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<v Speaker 1>think about this Cuban cop that did this to our

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<v Speaker 1>Tyreek Hill? Oh? Should he be fired? No? No, he

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<v Speaker 1>shouldn't be fired, but he and his family should be

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<v Speaker 1>relocated to Buffalo. There you go, you're a cop in Buffalo. Now,

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<v Speaker 1>those people fucking love getting slammed before games. Throw somebody

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<v Speaker 1>through a table. Thank good as we won. Can you

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<v Speaker 1>imagine if we didn't win? I say we. I'm part

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<v Speaker 1>of the organization. I got my game socks on. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't take those off until we lose a game. There's

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<v Speaker 1>an undefeated season we're currently working on. Right now, we're

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<v Speaker 1>in first place. We're tied for first place in the

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<v Speaker 1>entire NFL, and if we went on Thursday night, we

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<v Speaker 1>will be in first place in the entire NFL alone.

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<v Speaker 1>That's incredible. How about how the Jets do? Aaron Rodgers

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<v Speaker 1>almost played a full game for the Yets, didn't seem

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<v Speaker 1>to move the needle at all. By the way, they

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<v Speaker 1>played a team that was missing their number one player,

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<v Speaker 1>the offensive player of the year out they still got destroyed.

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<v Speaker 1>At least you got a new docu series this year

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<v Speaker 1>for mister Distraction. It's on Netflix. It's called Aaron Rodgers Enigma.

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<v Speaker 1>Is it too late to call it? Seventy five million

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<v Speaker 1>in counting for one hundred and sixty seven yards, one

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<v Speaker 1>TD and one interception Wait for it, boom. Speaking of

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<v Speaker 1>completely overrated goats, Tom Brady had his first game in

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<v Speaker 1>the Booth basically like the second roast of Tom Brady online.

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<v Speaker 1>I've never noticed how big a Veneers were, but now

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<v Speaker 1>that I see his face, I'm like, whoa, look at

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<v Speaker 1>that grin. It's just weird that he'd want to still

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<v Speaker 1>look pretty. He's already looking puffy from filler or whatever

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<v Speaker 1>he does botox whatever. Hey, oh, but the Packers Philly

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<v Speaker 1>game in Brazil matter if you're a season ticket holder

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<v Speaker 1>and oh one of our home games is in Brazil.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh that's nice. Finally you're gonna make Philly fans know

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<v Speaker 1>what it's like to be scared at a home game,

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<v Speaker 1>gonna get stabbed. Uh, that's funny Kansas City beat the

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<v Speaker 1>Ravens by toe. You know, he probably wears an eleven

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<v Speaker 1>and a half, but is a little insecure about it,

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<v Speaker 1>like a lot of guys. I wear twelve, and that

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<v Speaker 1>that lie cost the Ravens a win. Heisman Trophy winner

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<v Speaker 1>star of Hard Knocks, Caleb Williams, Oh, how did he

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<v Speaker 1>do for the Bears? He threw for ninety three yards

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<v Speaker 1>and that is good enough to be the greatest quarterback

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<v Speaker 1>in the history of Chicago. And by the way, Hard Knocks,

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<v Speaker 1>knock it off. You're supposed to do four episodes for

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<v Speaker 1>the preseason. Now there's off season in Sea. The Dolphins

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<v Speaker 1>were last year's in season Hard Knocks. I didn't even

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<v Speaker 1>watch it. I'm a diehard Dolphins in there's regular football

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<v Speaker 1>to watch now annoys me. The Saints one forty seven

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<v Speaker 1>to ten, relegating the Carolina Panthers to the USFL. Can

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<v Speaker 1>we all agree about Bryce Young and all of these

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<v Speaker 1>Heisman Trophy winners. Like people that are paid to know

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<v Speaker 1>who's going to be good to recruit these players, they

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<v Speaker 1>never get it right with quarterbacks. It's just a waste

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<v Speaker 1>to waste a time. Stop wasting first round picks on quarterbacks.

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<v Speaker 1>Rock Purty, my nephew, Timothy de Morett should be in

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<v Speaker 1>the NFL. He's not. I think he's like a quarterbacks

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<v Speaker 1>coach at some college right now. I have no idea

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<v Speaker 1>what he's doing. Jim Harball squeaked out his first game

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<v Speaker 1>as a Chargers head coach was very exciting if you're

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<v Speaker 1>into field goals. Meanwhile, the team that he abandoned because

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<v Speaker 1>of the signs stealing scandal, they completely self destructed. I'd

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<v Speaker 1>also like to point out that abortions are up this

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<v Speaker 1>season in LA. So I'm sure he's taken that pretty hard.

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<v Speaker 1>Buccaneers beat some farm team called the Commanders. Anybody watch

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<v Speaker 1>that bullshit? All right, that's it. Eddie hits a siren.

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<v Speaker 1>Cash