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Speaker 1: My husband dumped the kids on me at a family party,

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Speaker 1: so I'm dumping him. Although I'm really proud of that title,

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Speaker 1: I made that, and this stands the question of when

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Speaker 1: is a breakup necessary. Also, by the way, you can

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Speaker 1: join us live every weekday at three pm Pacific Standard time.

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Speaker 1: Just tab our profile so a non throwaway zero eight

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Speaker 1: six eight two seven one says I have no one

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Speaker 1: to talk about this and I need help. I age

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Speaker 1: thirty five female, have been with my husband thirty five

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Speaker 1: male for fifteen plus years. I must stay at home mom.

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Speaker 1: We recently went to a family party and my husband

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Speaker 1: left all childcare responsibilities on me, and I'm considering asking

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Speaker 1: for a trial separation. Our relationship started going downhill about

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Speaker 1: two years ago. We've always had a good relationship up

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Speaker 1: until my husband started resenting me. He was working a

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Speaker 1: really stressful job sixty plus hours a week, and I

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Speaker 1: was newly pregnant with our second child, and on prag

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Speaker 1: gesterone progesterone progesteron progesteron progesterine progesterone progessedudine, which made the

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Speaker 1: exhaustion a thousand times worse. I was in survival mode.

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Speaker 1: It was a good day if I kept my other

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Speaker 1: child and myself fed. He began to resent me because

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Speaker 1: I wasn't doing any housework. I would lay on the

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Speaker 1: bathroom floor all day. So this led to him stonewalling

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Speaker 1: met with whenever conflict would arise, which is hard for

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Speaker 1: me because I only speak to a two and a

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Speaker 1: six year old obey. So to have the only adult

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Speaker 1: I interact with ignore me for days sometimes weeks was

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Speaker 1: mentally damaging. That is not okay to do that to

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Speaker 1: your partner. Also, I mean, I don't think as an adult,

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Speaker 1: you should be you know, you should be able to

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Speaker 1: communicate with the important people in your life. Any sort

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Speaker 1: of relationship you have, whether it's friends, family, or a partner,

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Speaker 1: you should not be ignoring them, especially when you have children.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's ridiculous. That's not cool, dude.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we've been trying to work through this issue for

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Speaker 1: the past two years. After many discussions and fights, some

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Speaker 1: every other week, he came up with their conflict resolution plan,

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Speaker 1: which is to one bring up issues immediately without waiting.

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Speaker 1: Two do not behaved differently for a reaction or response.

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Speaker 1: Three acknowledge conflict without defensiveness, and four resolve conflict immediately

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Speaker 1: we both agreed to this plan. I will be upfront

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Speaker 1: and say that I'm a terrible communicator. I avoid confrontation

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Speaker 1: at all cost. I tend to get emotional, which causes

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Speaker 1: me to get frustrated because I can't communicate my feelings properly.

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Speaker 1: I know my husband sees this as a weakness. In

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Speaker 1: the past, he's accused me that I use my emotions

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Speaker 1: to try to gardner sympathy and play the victim. Oh boy,

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Speaker 1: so sometimes when things bug me, I suppress them instead

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Speaker 1: of bringing them up. Fast forward to this past weekend.

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Speaker 1: His family throws a big annual party, which I was

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Speaker 1: really looking forward to. Family members flew into town that

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Speaker 1: we don't ever get to see, and I was really

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Speaker 1: looking forward to seeing them and hanging out as I

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Speaker 1: don't get to talk to many people. My friends all

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Speaker 1: work full time and have families of their own, so

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Speaker 1: we text, but we don't get together much. They have

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Speaker 1: a placeset that is super far back in their yard

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Speaker 1: from the patio and cornhole tournament that everyone was enjoying.

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Speaker 1: This playset is for bigger kids, has a big slide

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Speaker 1: with a blow up pool at the bottom. My almost

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Speaker 1: two year old boy absolutely loves this play set, but

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Speaker 1: he's a daredevil and has zero fear and needs to

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Speaker 1: be watched literally constantly. Almost immediately while getting there, I

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Speaker 1: follow my kids to the playset while my husband got

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Speaker 1: to talk and mingle. I know he's putting all of

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Speaker 1: this on her. He's putting all of the childcare on her.

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Speaker 1: So not only is she does she not have an

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Speaker 1: adult to talk to in him, but he's also not

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Speaker 1: allowing her to talk to any of the adults at

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Speaker 1: the party because she has to be stuck on childcare.

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Speaker 2: He's like, this came out of you. It's your problem.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, no, he sucks. Dutchess Xana says, oh boy, OPI

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Speaker 1: leave and asked. Thrash Queen says, oh, so he's guest

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Speaker 1: letting her too. Yeah. The fact that he's saying like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you always make you always use your emotions to win

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Speaker 1: arguments when it seems like she's fun like constantly not

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Speaker 1: bringing stuff up because of that is Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Honestly, I hate it when my partner uses her

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Speaker 2: emotions and arguments. It's like, stop, just leave those to

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Speaker 2: the side, just push them down.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you shouldn't have emotions. Stop having emotions.

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Speaker 2: Get rid of employees're so annoying.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, blind be says, I tell my kids, I don't

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Speaker 1: care what they are as long as I Oh. Oh,

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Speaker 1: that I read that wrong, because I thought it was

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Speaker 1: to do with this story, and I thought it said

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Speaker 1: I tell my kids, I don't care where they are

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Speaker 1: as long as I get grandchildren one day, and I

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Speaker 1: just assumed that you were like, You're like, oh, I

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Speaker 1: don't care what my like if my children are on

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Speaker 1: this dangerous playground, as long as they stay alive. That's

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Speaker 1: what I read that as, which is not what you said. Uh,

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Speaker 1: you were talking about loving your children in terms of

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Speaker 1: the queer story, but that is how I read that originally.

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Speaker 1: Then they set up the tournament and my husband started

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Speaker 1: running it and playing DJ. Meanwhile, it's eighty degrees and

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Speaker 1: my kid is going non stop on this play set,

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Speaker 1: up and down the dangerous ladder with wet, slippery feet.

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Speaker 1: I caught him twice when he fell off. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: this kid's crazy. I'm getting more and more frustrated being

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Speaker 1: so far removed and hearing everyone talk and laugh and

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Speaker 1: joke when it was my tur to play around. My

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Speaker 1: mother in law came over to watch the kids. So

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Speaker 1: I was excited for a break. Finally someone's helping Opie

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Speaker 1: should be her husband. But there were a lot of

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Speaker 1: kids there and a lot going on. So when I

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Speaker 1: was done and came over to see how things were going,

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Speaker 1: I didn't see my kid and said, where's the baby?

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Speaker 1: My mother in law was holding the other toddler and

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Speaker 1: talking to someone else, and rerealized mine was already up

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Speaker 1: in the fort, so he went up the ladder with

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Speaker 1: zero supervision. This gave me anxiety, and I felt I

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Speaker 1: couldn't leave with so many distractions and risk him getting hurt.

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Speaker 1: When it was my turn to play again, he managed

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Speaker 1: to run around the corner of the house. Oh, play cornhole.

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Speaker 1: So Opie is going back and forth between playing cornhole

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Speaker 1: and trying to watch her kid. When it was my

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Speaker 1: turn to play again, he managed to run around the

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Speaker 1: corner of the house with no one seeing, and thank god,

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Speaker 1: only went into the garage and not the street. Eventually,

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Speaker 1: the adults all went inside to play a board game.

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Speaker 1: My husband then came out and walked over to me

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Speaker 1: and asked if I needed a break. I was flabbergasted

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Speaker 1: because at this point it had been close to four

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Speaker 1: hours of me watching him NonStop, with the exception of

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Speaker 1: two rounds of cornhole. Ooh, this is ridiculous. Yeah, absolutely ridiculous.

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Speaker 1: This is when you employ your nieces and nephews. Mmm, yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: I mean obviously the husband should be doing parenting. Absolutely,

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Speaker 1: but if he sucks, employ your nieces and nephews.

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Speaker 2: I'll probably time it just right when my nieces and

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Speaker 2: nephews are like in or teenagers. But out the time

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Speaker 2: I have kids.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, perfect, that's what I did. I was always the babysitter,

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Speaker 1: but I liked it because I love kids.

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Speaker 2: You'll be a good mom, Thank you.

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Speaker 1: Where would I I have a feeling. The only reason

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Speaker 1: he came out to ask me if I needed a

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Speaker 1: break was someone asked him if I needed a break,

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Speaker 1: probably the mother in law or someone who saw him

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Speaker 1: not doing anything. I had no words for him and

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Speaker 1: just walked away. I didn't want to cause a scene

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Speaker 1: at a family gathering. We moved the kids inside, which

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Speaker 1: was more manageable, and yet my husband got to play

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Speaker 1: the board game while I chased our kids, trying to

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Speaker 1: get him to eat, change him, et cetera. So I

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Speaker 1: guess I never got a break. Wait, so he asked

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Speaker 1: her if she needed a break, and then didn't actually

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Speaker 1: give her a break.

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Speaker 2: Bake break.

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Speaker 1: Oh, someone earlier said she's already single, which is so true.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he has to handle three kids.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, him too.

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Speaker 2: Almo says, she has five kids. I have three brothers.

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Speaker 2: Do the math?

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Speaker 1: Who's number four? Oh you're number four?

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Speaker 2: No, I'm four and then yeah yeah.

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Speaker 1: I was like, who's number four? And five? But you're

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Speaker 1: number four. Then it was time to leave, and I

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Speaker 1: realized I hardly got to talk anyone.

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Speaker 2: Two kids that counts. Don't do that. Don't go down

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Speaker 2: the slide, please.

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Speaker 1: I was so sad and devastated. I know it sounds

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Speaker 1: like an e fing pathetic thing to be devastated about,

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Speaker 1: but no, we've already established that Opie hasn't had any

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Speaker 1: adult interactions because she's been so busy taking care of

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Speaker 1: her kids.

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Speaker 2: For you, Oh she one of an adult interactions.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, she wanted adult interaction. That was the whole point.

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Speaker 1: She was like, my husband's ignoring me, and now I

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Speaker 1: finally get to have an adult interaction and he doesn't

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Speaker 1: even give me a break.

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Speaker 2: What if he bodied you through these interactions? She's like,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to be my wife now.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he was like, I'm channeling you. Don't worry. I

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Speaker 1: can't really find says he said the words though that

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Speaker 1: the thought counts, right, yeah, thought, I'm like, what's it.

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Speaker 1: On the way home, my husband said, Wow, that was

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Speaker 1: a great party, right, Deckham, He's done. Take him out

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Speaker 1: of the car. I bit my tongue because I didn't

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Speaker 1: want to say anything with our six year old in

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Speaker 1: the car, and I was honestly so mentally exhausted that

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Speaker 1: I almost fell asleep on the fifteen minute drive home.

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Speaker 1: I hate this guy. When we got home, I went

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Speaker 1: immediately upstairs to sleep. If he I swear to God,

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Speaker 1: if he wakes her up, if he wakes her up,

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Speaker 1: I'm gotta I'm gonna freak out on him.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna flip I'm gonna.

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Speaker 1: Freaking flip out. It was six pm. We had got

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Speaker 1: to the party at eleven fifteen, and I had a

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Speaker 1: migraine and was exhausted.

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Speaker 2: What that's late. That's a long day a migraine yoikes.

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Speaker 1: The next morning I was furious, but again didn't want

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Speaker 1: to say anything in front of our kids. At least

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Speaker 1: he didn't wake her up. I planned to speak to

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Speaker 1: my husband at NAT time that afternoon, while our older

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Speaker 1: one was in her room for quiet time. When that happened,

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Speaker 1: my husband was eating lunch and watching YouTube, and I

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Speaker 1: walked up and said, I'm really frustrated and upset about yesterday.

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Speaker 1: Can we talk? He said, I.

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Speaker 2: Gotta wait till this dude perfect video is done.

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Speaker 1: He's like, you know, I'm watching YouTube.

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Speaker 2: Beast crushed his car.

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Speaker 1: He said, oh, now you want to talk after ignoring

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Speaker 1: me for a day.

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Speaker 2: To his side, We'll see this side. What does he

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Speaker 2: got to say?

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't believe this thing that he said. I don't

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Speaker 1: care if she was ignoring him because he's not helping

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Speaker 1: with the kids.

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Speaker 2: Maybe, but she might have to go get eye contact.

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Speaker 2: And she went, who knows. I'm curious what he guess.

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Speaker 1: I don't trust him, I said, I was mentally and

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Speaker 1: physically exhausted after oh my god, after yesterday and needed

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Speaker 1: to cool off and was waiting for the kids to

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Speaker 1: be in quiet time. He immediately accused me of not

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Speaker 1: following our conflict resolution plan of bringing up issues immediately.

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Speaker 1: So I think what he's maybe saying, if I'm reading

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Speaker 1: this correctly, is that she ignored him after the party,

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Speaker 1: but she was exhausted and had a migraine and went

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Speaker 1: to sleep.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and Loki, he's using therapy talk. Yeah, well, what

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Speaker 2: do you say, he said on Flicks.

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Speaker 1: Oh, he's like, you're not a plan. They had talked

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Speaker 1: about about always bringing up when they are upset, however.

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Speaker 2: Kind of low key weapon.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I agree, I agree. He's like, oh he's gaslighting

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Speaker 1: her about this, he agreed. No, I think he is

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Speaker 1: absolutely weaponizing.

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Speaker 2: No, I'm just like you said, you agree with me?

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Speaker 1: I do.

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Speaker 2: Wow, no going going on when.

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Speaker 1: You when you say something I agree with, I agree

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Speaker 1: with it.

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Speaker 2: But sometimes we do agree, but you like act like

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Speaker 2: we don't, and then we come around full circle when

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Speaker 2: we do agree.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Well I short shorthand agree with you right now.

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Speaker 2: Okay, go on.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. No, he's using this thing that they've devised to

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Speaker 1: communicate better and weaponizing it by putting all of this

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Speaker 1: stuff on her, saying oh, like, why didn't you talk

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Speaker 1: to me when she was clearly just burnt out from

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Speaker 1: taking care of their kids all day. And also someone

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Speaker 1: said earlier which I missed the comment, but said like,

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Speaker 1: it's better that she didn't just lash out at him

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Speaker 1: and waited until she could communicate effectively without being angry.

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Speaker 1: I think that is Yeah. I think that if you

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Speaker 1: know about your like, if you're able to realize that

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Speaker 1: when you are like angry about like an issue or something,

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Speaker 1: or if someone upsets you and you're angry, that you're

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Speaker 1: not going to be able to communicate effectively without like

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Speaker 1: yelling or something was She had a migrane Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: think knowing that about yourself it is a way better

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Speaker 1: response to just take a minute for yourself and then

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Speaker 1: come to the conversation. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And I read a little bit and it looks like

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Speaker 2: she kind of caved in pretty easily.

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Speaker 1: Oh, let's keep reading. I apologized and said, you're right now.

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Speaker 1: I should have said something this morning, but I waited

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Speaker 1: for quiet time.

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Speaker 2: I waited for a great time to talk about it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry, waited until we weren't going

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Speaker 1: to fight in front of our kids.

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Speaker 2: You're right and traumatize them.

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Speaker 1: He then said that if I'm not going to follow

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Speaker 1: the plan, there's nothing to talk about or resolve.

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Speaker 2: What this guy's good?

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Speaker 1: Wait, so he said, if you're not going to use

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Speaker 1: our plan to communicate, we're not communicating. I'm not ridiculous

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Speaker 1: you're ridiculous. That's absolutely bonkers.

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Speaker 2: Boom back to the YouTube.

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Speaker 1: What kind of cyclical logic? What this logic is? Insane?

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Speaker 1: I hate this man?

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Speaker 2: Or forty chess right here?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, truly wild. He walked away and went downstairs, and

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Speaker 1: I went to my computer to work.

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Speaker 2: Oh bo next therapy session is gonna go nuts.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, someone better go off on this man. He came

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Speaker 1: up about ten minutes later with several pieces of paper

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Speaker 1: in which he typed out the conflict resolution plan and

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Speaker 1: had taped them all over the house in random places.

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Speaker 1: I would go crazy. So freaking underhanded. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, how freaking petty of this man to

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Speaker 1: be like, if you're not gonna use our conflict resolution plan,

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna talk to you, and then proceeds to

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Speaker 1: tape their plan around the house. What What give this

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Speaker 1: man an Olympic gold medal for his gymnastics?

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Speaker 2: Goodness, gracious, those.

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Speaker 1: Mental gymnastics are crazy? Every be Weird's his mental gymnastics?

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Speaker 1: Mental parkour accurate? Accurate?

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Speaker 2: His brain must hurt from all those jumping he's going.

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Speaker 1: He probably is a migraine too. I haven't really spoken since,

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Speaker 1: and it seems like he's just moved on. All I

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Speaker 1: feel is resentment. It's really frustrating when she's taught. She

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Speaker 1: has said previously in the story that she has felt

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Speaker 1: like it's hard for her to bring up this when

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Speaker 1: she's upset at something. She just kind of buries it

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Speaker 1: and for her to then try and bring it up

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Speaker 1: and for him but just dismiss it, to dismiss it,

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Speaker 1: and not only dismiss it, but maybe she's not communicating

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Speaker 1: effectively enough when she's actively trying and then shut down

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Speaker 1: all form of communication and as you said, make her

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Speaker 1: feel bad.

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Speaker 2: Panned the weaponizing therapy terms. That's crazy. Divorce out of there,

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Speaker 2: You're done.

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Speaker 1: There's the door.

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Speaker 2: We need a divorce button. Yeah, actually, wait, I can

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Speaker 2: get a button right now, get a button. No, I

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Speaker 2: don't think of never mind evermund John has a button

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Speaker 2: and it said and it's the easy one from that

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Speaker 2: was easy. Yeah, yeah, yeh, So he needs a I

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Speaker 2: think he might. I don't know. We need a button.

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Speaker 1: We need a button. I'm at a loss. I know,

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Speaker 1: I'm not happy. I wish I had a partner. I've

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Speaker 1: told him in the past. I feel like I can't

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Speaker 1: rely on him with helping me. With the kids, and

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Speaker 1: he was curious and hurt that I would say that, like,

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Speaker 1: why would you see that? I don't know. This isn't

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Speaker 1: the first time he's done this at a family or

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Speaker 1: friend gathering. I am always the default parent because it's

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Speaker 1: my job. I know I love him, but I'm not

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Speaker 1: sure if that's enough anymore. I don't know what to do.

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Speaker 1: I don't have a job. I have side hustles, but

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Speaker 1: certainly can't pay the bills myself. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: destroy my kids live. I love his family and the

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Speaker 1: thought of losing them is devastating. I can't tell if

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Speaker 1: I'm having a midlife crisis or if I'm just overreacting.

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Speaker 1: He's the only person I've ever been with, only boyfriend

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Speaker 1: I've ever had. I don't know what's normal and what's not.

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Speaker 1: This is not normal. I know I didn't follow our plan,

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Speaker 1: and I owned up to that. I have such a

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Speaker 1: hard time bringing issues up. I really am trying. I

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Speaker 1: get a huge lump in my throat and it's a

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Speaker 1: struggle to speak. Sometimes. I'm scared because in the past

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Speaker 1: he's made comments that we won't ever take a break,

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Speaker 1: et cetera, and I don't want to go straight to divorce.

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Speaker 1: But I don't know what to do. I think I

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Speaker 1: just want to be alone. I wish I could afford

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Speaker 1: a therapist. Good. I ask for a trial separation. Do

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Speaker 1: trial separations work? And this is to answer the question

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Speaker 1: of when is a bag breakup necessary? Now? This man

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Speaker 1: is gaslighting you about your relationship, gas lamping you about

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Speaker 1: your relationship, and he's also not helping you with your kids,

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Speaker 1: So what what is he good for? Anyway? Obviously I

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Speaker 1: think it's hard because Op doesn't have a job and

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Speaker 1: is probably relying on him financially. But yeah, no, he's

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Speaker 1: he's just not helping you.

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Speaker 2: Tough. That's tough. Yeah, wait, let me go see if

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Speaker 2: there's an update. Did you get this today? Never?

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Speaker 1: But there right be?

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:26,520
Speaker 1: Stephanie Pittrikowski says divorce doesn't mean she'd have to stop

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Speaker 1: speaking with his family. They're still family to their children,

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Speaker 1: and Kimberly finds his having a parent this manipulative is

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Speaker 1: going to ruin your kids more than a change of

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Speaker 1: living arrangement or routine. Yeah, he sucks. He freaking structs. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think I think the answer is to leave him

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Speaker 1: because he's just I think the benefits of his like

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00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:49,360
Speaker 1: financial the financial situation are are not outweighing all of

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Speaker 1: the negatives of being in a relationship with him. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and also I mean maybe she could get some child

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Speaker 1: she could, she would be getting child support from him.

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Speaker 2: So it's a tough dude.

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Speaker 1: But let's get into this. Oh, I've lost.

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Speaker 2: It, let's go, let's do it.

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Speaker 1: My husband admitted to cheating with his best friend. But

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Speaker 1: I don't care. And this stands the question of when

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Speaker 1: is a breakup necessary? And by the way, you can

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Speaker 1: join us live every weekday at three pm Pacific Standard time.

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Speaker 1: Just jepler bovol do throa. Why aren't I mad? Says I.

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Speaker 1: Thirty five female, have been married to my husband for

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Speaker 1: a bit under ten years.

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Speaker 2: We have no children, Oh to holpass.

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Speaker 1: Yesterday night, after dinner, my husband Jay broke down and

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Speaker 1: admitted he's been sleeping with his childhood best friend Pete

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Speaker 1: for quote a while now, longer than I want to say,

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00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,600
Speaker 1: goouch a pie. It was the first time I have

378
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:43,280
Speaker 1: seen him cry in more than two years over something.

379
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:46,720
Speaker 1: Jay is the kind that cries over dogs dying in shows,

380
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:50,480
Speaker 1: but is stony silent at tragedy However, I'm not mad.

381
00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:54,360
Speaker 1: What interesting? What interesting?

382
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:57,840
Speaker 2: Never and thousands of Reddit stories we've heard, never heard that.

383
00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:00,800
Speaker 1: I'm not even sure I care. Maybe's checked out of

384
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:03,680
Speaker 1: the relationship. Maybe that maybe op has checked out of

385
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:06,480
Speaker 1: this relationship because like it's changed drastically in the last

386
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:09,840
Speaker 1: two years or something. I'm confused. Okay, However, I'm not mad.

387
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:13,040
Speaker 1: I'm not even sure I care. I do love my

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00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:15,920
Speaker 1: husband more than anything in the world, and I don't

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00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,160
Speaker 1: want to leave him. I can't move on. I can't

390
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:20,520
Speaker 1: stay like this and I don't want to. But Jay

391
00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:23,320
Speaker 1: has said he won't stop seeing Pete no matter what

392
00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:24,000
Speaker 1: I choose.

393
00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:25,560
Speaker 2: What's so confused?

394
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:28,000
Speaker 1: Wait? Why are they like both wanting to stay together.

395
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:31,600
Speaker 1: I'm confused. He's like, I'm gonna keep seeing Pete, but

396
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:33,359
Speaker 1: also we could stay together if you want.

397
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:35,320
Speaker 2: Could she be asexual and.

398
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,400
Speaker 1: Just like oh or a romantic Well, but she said

399
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:39,200
Speaker 1: that she loves him, so.

400
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:42,040
Speaker 2: Maybe like asexual and she's just like, I like your companionship,

401
00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:42,959
Speaker 2: I like the life we have.

402
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:46,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe that is also. I mean, maybe she didn't

403
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:48,359
Speaker 1: realize it and she's like, I just wanted this to

404
00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:49,919
Speaker 1: be kind of like a There's also it could be

405
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:52,920
Speaker 1: like a QPR, which is a queer platonic relationship. Yeah,

406
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:56,200
Speaker 1: and that's just like where there's usually it's from there's

407
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,760
Speaker 1: two queer people in the relationship.

408
00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:59,640
Speaker 2: But I'm going a DTF relationship.

409
00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:01,480
Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah, I heard you the first time.

410
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:02,919
Speaker 2: I just wanted to respond.

411
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:08,480
Speaker 1: You're like, I'm in a DTY relationship. Yeah, confuse mother's relationship.

412
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:09,280
Speaker 1: Let's see you more.

413
00:18:09,359 --> 00:18:09,600
Speaker 2: Yeah.

414
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:11,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, He's sorry for doing this to me, and he

415
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,399
Speaker 1: said he loves me and I'm his wife and heart,

416
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:17,640
Speaker 1: but Pete means the same to him. Basically, he can't choose.

417
00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:20,119
Speaker 1: He loves us both. It falls to me to choose,

418
00:18:20,119 --> 00:18:22,680
Speaker 1: and I don't know what to do. This is wild, Honestly.

419
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:24,320
Speaker 1: The bit that hurts the most is the fact that

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00:18:24,359 --> 00:18:27,040
Speaker 1: Pete is a good friend of mine ouch, but he

421
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:30,160
Speaker 1: couldn't face me himself and instead let Jay break down

422
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:32,800
Speaker 1: in front of me. Sorry, this turned into a rant.

423
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Speaker 1: Any advice would help if anyone has gone through something

424
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Speaker 1: similar and edit he comes up a bit.

425
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Speaker 2: So.

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00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:41,680
Speaker 1: My husband has been openly bisexual since before I even

427
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,240
Speaker 1: met him. Eater is by or pan. He's dated guys

428
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:46,639
Speaker 1: and girls and others in the past. No one in

429
00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:49,240
Speaker 1: the last three years. To my knowledge, I'm straight and

430
00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:51,879
Speaker 1: then edit too. Since apparently I have no self esteem,

431
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:54,960
Speaker 1: I guess I couldn't possibly have four degrees a PhD,

432
00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:57,760
Speaker 1: make roughly one twenty k a year, be the main

433
00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,320
Speaker 1: provider for the household, run my own business, go to

434
00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:02,960
Speaker 1: the gym twice a week. That's so funny. I love that.

435
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:05,040
Speaker 1: Riley was like, I mean, not Riley. I love that.

436
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:05,600
Speaker 2: Op.

437
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:09,280
Speaker 1: He was like, I'm gonna freaking clap back so hard.

438
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:11,879
Speaker 1: What are you doing? Is that what you were trying to?

439
00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:15,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I meant. Oh, I didn't mincraft.

440
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:17,680
Speaker 1: I didn't even let you get out. It would be

441
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:19,040
Speaker 1: wouldn't it be? DTFPM?

442
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:20,720
Speaker 2: I just forgot it got too long.

443
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:22,920
Speaker 1: I know I look good. I actually have a rather

444
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:25,560
Speaker 1: large ego about myself personality.

445
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:26,919
Speaker 2: How large is your personality?

446
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,439
Speaker 1: All right, Riley, this honestly has nothing to do with

447
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:31,720
Speaker 1: self esteem. I don't know where it reads that I'm

448
00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:33,639
Speaker 1: a poor little girl who got in over her head

449
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,120
Speaker 1: by a big strong man. But I can bench press

450
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:39,480
Speaker 1: Jay and waite. Yes, ma'am, I know what I'm with

451
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:42,240
Speaker 1: and I know I want Jay. So this is so funny.

452
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:44,600
Speaker 1: I love that that whole last paragraph is just up

453
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:47,040
Speaker 1: being like, I'm so freaking strong and I've got a

454
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:47,600
Speaker 1: good job.

455
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:49,320
Speaker 2: I'm good.

456
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:56,480
Speaker 1: Don't know what you're talking about relevant comments. La Baraka says, leave.

457
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,960
Speaker 1: Opie says, I don't know if I should. Though we're happy,

458
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:05,000
Speaker 1: we can still be happy. Throwing that away seems I

459
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:09,280
Speaker 1: don't know, honestly, Honestly, if Ope's chill with it, I

460
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:14,000
Speaker 1: guess it's fine. I guess it's fine. I mean, personally,

461
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:17,560
Speaker 1: I would like I would I would not be okay

462
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:20,960
Speaker 1: with it because he cheated on her, But I don't know. Man,

463
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:23,680
Speaker 1: she seems open to it. I mean, he did cheat

464
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,240
Speaker 1: on her, and I guess she's just kind of moving

465
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:29,239
Speaker 1: past time. I'm confused he not only cheat on her

466
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:31,720
Speaker 1: but wants to the relationship. Maybe she's just she's open

467
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:33,439
Speaker 1: to polly relationships. I don't know.

468
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,399
Speaker 2: Stup with the Baggy.

469
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,800
Speaker 1: Stu Recipe says, so you don't mind sharing your husband?

470
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:39,520
Speaker 1: How many nights a week will you get to be

471
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:41,720
Speaker 1: with him? Or will his friend be moving in with you?

472
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,080
Speaker 1: Opie says, I don't know. He's managed to be with

473
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:46,200
Speaker 1: Pete enough in the time we currently have. I don't

474
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,119
Speaker 1: know how it would change if I stayed, and m

475
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:51,960
Speaker 1: m oct says, What I don't understand is why don't

476
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,280
Speaker 1: you want better for yourself? He told you he doesn't

477
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:57,080
Speaker 1: care if you stay or leave, but Pete he stays.

478
00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:59,440
Speaker 1: I think because he cares about his relationship with Pete.

479
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:01,199
Speaker 1: How do you still with someone who doesn't care if

480
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:03,520
Speaker 1: you stay? He doesn't want to fight for this relationship.

481
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:05,959
Speaker 1: You yourself said you don't care that he cheated. You

482
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:09,800
Speaker 1: are financially independent. What's keeping you from just ending it

483
00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:12,000
Speaker 1: and moving on? You say you love him, but if

484
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,399
Speaker 1: you did, wouldn't you care that he's cheated for years

485
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,560
Speaker 1: with a person you considered a friend. Wouldn't you care

486
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,800
Speaker 1: that he's chosen his relationship with Pete as the one

487
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:20,680
Speaker 1: he can't let go of. I think, Oh I love.

488
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:21,720
Speaker 1: All the comments are.

489
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:26,119
Speaker 2: Like girl, get back into real girl, check back in,

490
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:28,959
Speaker 2: Oh boy, this is wild.

491
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:33,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, Pandemmonium says, or she's trying so hard to hold

492
00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:35,240
Speaker 1: on to the only person she's ever known.

493
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:40,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's the stages of grief? Like denial? She's just

494
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:40,800
Speaker 2: stuck there.

495
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:43,399
Speaker 1: You should always have an open discussion verse that is,

496
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:47,400
Speaker 1: that is a necessity if you are in an exclusive relationship.

497
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:52,600
Speaker 1: You should absolutely always be talking. You know, you shouldn't

498
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:56,080
Speaker 1: be just cheating on your partner. Ever, Opie responds, must

499
00:21:56,119 --> 00:21:58,919
Speaker 1: be how I wrote the post. Sorry for sure, how

500
00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:02,440
Speaker 1: it's it is you wrote the post. Yes, Jay does care,

501
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:04,760
Speaker 1: he just can't choose and doesn't want to force me

502
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,480
Speaker 1: to choose. He's staying at a friend's house. No pets,

503
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:10,640
Speaker 1: not Pete's. Oops, I was like, no pets, not Pete's.

504
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:13,159
Speaker 1: I double checked. He's staying with a married couple of

505
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:15,280
Speaker 1: a lesbian friend we have, so he's not cheating with

506
00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:18,080
Speaker 1: them right now. So I have the house end quote,

507
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,520
Speaker 1: as long as I need to do anything. Is it

508
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:22,800
Speaker 1: bad that I don't really care that he cheated. I

509
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,159
Speaker 1: have some heartache of the lies and who it was with,

510
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,280
Speaker 1: not that it was a man but Pete, But the

511
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:30,080
Speaker 1: actual cheating itself doesn't bother me too much, and I

512
00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:32,320
Speaker 1: honestly think I could just move on, ignore it, or

513
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:36,440
Speaker 1: somehow work with it. Yeah, Holly says, as always, it's

514
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:39,240
Speaker 1: the broken trust that is the biggest issue, one hundred percent.

515
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:43,520
Speaker 1: I'm I'm just really surprised why she's taking it so calmly.

516
00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:46,160
Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, but there is an update two

517
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:49,080
Speaker 1: and a half months later, I guess, yeah, let's do

518
00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:51,840
Speaker 1: a poll, stay or not? But specifically, do you think

519
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:54,320
Speaker 1: that Opee should stay? Because I think a lot of

520
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:57,439
Speaker 1: us would not stay in that relationship? But what do

521
00:22:57,480 --> 00:22:59,840
Speaker 1: you think Oh Pee should do? Given that O piecea

522
00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:00,840
Speaker 1: she doesn't care?

523
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:05,440
Speaker 2: I'm confused. I've never ever seen a relationship where they're like,

524
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:07,520
Speaker 2: I'm okay with them cheating. Do you think it would

525
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:09,400
Speaker 2: change if it was with another woman and that guy?

526
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:12,240
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm not sure. I think that Like

527
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:16,000
Speaker 1: we've had stories where like the person stopped caring because

528
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:18,240
Speaker 1: they stopped loving the person, But it seems like OPI

529
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:20,800
Speaker 1: is still in love with him, so I don't Yeah,

530
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:23,199
Speaker 1: I don't know. But there's an update. I'll ready the

531
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:25,880
Speaker 1: tail there and says we are still together side out.

532
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:29,119
Speaker 1: I chose to cancel my meeting with EAT make a meeting.

533
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:31,520
Speaker 1: Does that mean maybe she's gonna meet? I don't know.

534
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:34,040
Speaker 1: After reading all of your advice, I chose to ask

535
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:37,520
Speaker 1: for space, which he j thirty six male freely gave.

536
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:39,840
Speaker 1: He was staying at a friend's house when I called,

537
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:42,280
Speaker 1: I couldn't face me yet and asked. This helped to

538
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:44,919
Speaker 1: confirm when I already knew he was indeed staying with

539
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:48,639
Speaker 1: our mutual friends, a married lesbian both thirty six female couple.

540
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:51,199
Speaker 1: Don't know he didn't run to Pete, as some of

541
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:54,960
Speaker 1: you thought. I was leaning towards separation after reading your advice. Well,

542
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:58,320
Speaker 1: a few days after I requested space, I decided to

543
00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:02,679
Speaker 1: ask for separation. I got along and ice cream and

544
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:06,000
Speaker 1: tear filled. Three weeks short, Oh, I say what she's saying?

545
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,920
Speaker 1: Ice cream and tear filled week. I caved and called him.

546
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:12,080
Speaker 1: I did not beg for him back or anything like that.

547
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:14,040
Speaker 1: I asked him out for a walk and we had

548
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:16,280
Speaker 1: a long talk. It was a fair while ago, so

549
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:18,200
Speaker 1: I can't word for word tight what it was said,

550
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:21,560
Speaker 1: but it boiled down to this number one. I still

551
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,919
Speaker 1: love him no matter what. Number two. He still loves me,

552
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:27,720
Speaker 1: no matter what. Ree He loves Pete no matter what,

553
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:30,560
Speaker 1: or He does not value either of us above the other.

554
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:33,360
Speaker 1: When he spoke about me leaving but him not leaving Pete,

555
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 1: he was giving me an out more than anything else.

556
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:38,000
Speaker 1: Jay would be destroyed if I chose to leave. But

557
00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:40,000
Speaker 1: he didn't want me to stay if I truly didn't

558
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:42,399
Speaker 1: want to, which is why he didn't beg for me

559
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:44,960
Speaker 1: to stay. After this talk, we stayed separate for a

560
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:48,359
Speaker 1: few more days. About seven weeks ago, Jay moved back

561
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:52,040
Speaker 1: home and Pete came over for dinner. That talk was longer, harder,

562
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:55,120
Speaker 1: and contain more personal details that I do not want

563
00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:57,800
Speaker 1: to share here, but the points were as follows. Jay

564
00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:00,000
Speaker 1: and Pete have not been together as long as I feared.

565
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:02,719
Speaker 1: It's about twenty eight months, not since they were teens.

566
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:05,159
Speaker 1: Pete truly didn't want me to get hurt, and he

567
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:07,520
Speaker 1: was the one pushing Jay to be honest with me.

568
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:10,000
Speaker 1: Why did no Pete put that in twenty months?

569
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:13,399
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying, after like two years.

570
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:15,520
Speaker 1: Two years and a bit, Yeah, why are you putting

571
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:16,520
Speaker 1: it in like baby time?

572
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:18,639
Speaker 2: I know? And after twenty four months? People don't do

573
00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:19,200
Speaker 2: baby tommy.

574
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:22,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, Pete is gay, but he dated girls in the past.

575
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 1: Neither of us are attracted to each other and we

576
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:27,679
Speaker 1: are not together. We're all going to have individual and

577
00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:30,560
Speaker 1: couples and group therapy couples are each of us. As

578
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 1: me and Jay need to work out our marriage and emotions.

579
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,080
Speaker 1: Pete and Jay need to work out the secrecy and

580
00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:37,640
Speaker 1: talk through their own relationship. And Pete and I want

581
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:39,159
Speaker 1: to work on working together.

582
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:41,560
Speaker 2: What dude, imagine the therapy?

583
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:43,480
Speaker 1: Oh my good. Really, you were right something I should

584
00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:45,080
Speaker 1: have mentioned but didn't do. To the fact I know

585
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:47,760
Speaker 1: I read it would react. Is I am asexual? You've

586
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:50,359
Speaker 1: ignalled it. Let's go you called it. Yeah, that was

587
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:53,399
Speaker 1: a great point. I am not in any way sexually

588
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:56,600
Speaker 1: attracted to my husband or anyone for that matter. However,

589
00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:58,840
Speaker 1: I choose to have to sleep with him, as I

590
00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:01,159
Speaker 1: know he enjoys it. I still have a libido. I

591
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:03,040
Speaker 1: just don't feel the need to have sex when I

592
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:06,360
Speaker 1: have spices. Sleep with Jay rarely once every two ish months.

593
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:09,119
Speaker 1: It isn't a chore, but more a more intimate tittle.

594
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:12,600
Speaker 1: Jay knows this and has this our entire marriage. In fact,

595
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:14,159
Speaker 1: he was the one who helped me figure out I

596
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:17,040
Speaker 1: would say sexual. If this is hard for you to understand, remember,

597
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:20,560
Speaker 1: attraction does not equal choices. Acephobes will be blocked with

598
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:24,280
Speaker 1: no reply. Honest questions can be answered. Oh yeah, that's

599
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 1: my story. I can take further questions in the comments,

600
00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:32,680
Speaker 1: and there are two relevant comments to finish the story off. Okay, yeah,

601
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:35,680
Speaker 1: I mean I think it does explain more of their situation,

602
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:39,840
Speaker 1: and it seems like he seems like they're figuring it

603
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:43,040
Speaker 1: out for them. I guess if it works for them. Yeah,

604
00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:44,000
Speaker 1: I don't know, man.

605
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:46,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just shocked to how calm Opa has been

606
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:47,800
Speaker 2: this whole thing.

607
00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:51,199
Speaker 1: I know, Op, he has been very very calm. Yeah,

608
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:56,560
Speaker 1: but let's read these lemant comments. Mmocts wel Coglic says,

609
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,560
Speaker 1: helping the camera's celebration is crazy. I also thought that,

610
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:01,520
Speaker 1: I think it's so funny that you did that, especially

611
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:03,840
Speaker 1: after we just talked about her being asexual. I thought

612
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:05,480
Speaker 1: that was like, I was like, that that is somewhat,

613
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 1: that is a choice.

614
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:09,639
Speaker 2: I was like watching the replay of it and I

615
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:12,439
Speaker 2: was like, oh my gosh, I die. It was just

616
00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:14,439
Speaker 2: instinct school. I couldn't help it. Like you said, I

617
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:18,080
Speaker 2: was rush. I was like, ah, oh man, I can't,

618
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:20,560
Speaker 2: y boy, this is the real me. This is what

619
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:22,080
Speaker 2: happens no filter.

620
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 1: MMCT says sorry, I'm a bit confused. Are you guys

621
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:28,320
Speaker 1: a throupple of Minus the Spicy Sleep or did you

622
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:31,600
Speaker 1: get back together with Jay and accept he sleeps with Pete? Also,

623
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:33,560
Speaker 1: does that mean that you know now don't have to

624
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:36,280
Speaker 1: sleep with Jay out of obligation anymore because he's getting

625
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,639
Speaker 1: his needs met by Pete, and Opie says, me and

626
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:41,160
Speaker 1: Pete are not together. I don't know if I love

627
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 1: spicy sleep with Jay again. It's something I'm working on

628
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:46,640
Speaker 1: in therapy. And this is stands the question of when

629
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,320
Speaker 1: is a breakup necessary. I'm also relive right now, so

630
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:51,840
Speaker 1: taper profile and checks out. I guess a breakup is

631
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:55,119
Speaker 1: not necessary in the situation, which is they're going with therapy.

632
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:58,160
Speaker 1: Funny because in like any other like, if this were

633
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,919
Speaker 1: repeated by other people who were not open, I'd be like,

634
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:02,159
Speaker 1: absolutely break up.

635
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:05,600
Speaker 2: But this is a loophole. This is the loophole to cheating.

636
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:08,480
Speaker 1: Loki Okay, but not not. It's not a hard fast rule.

637
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:09,480
Speaker 2: Not Alma's mad.

638
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, not all. I mean, it wouldn't always happen like this.

639
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:13,560
Speaker 1: I think this is just is.

640
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:16,159
Speaker 2: The only loophole to cheating. Very Rather you should have

641
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:17,200
Speaker 2: a conversation first.

642
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:20,520
Speaker 1: But yeah, absolutely, I mean the therapy is I must. Yeah,

643
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:24,520
Speaker 1: therapy is a must. Asexual They say Ace like bye

644
00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:25,679
Speaker 1: bisexual crazy?

645
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:25,960
Speaker 2: Yeah?

646
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:26,720
Speaker 1: What was I saying?

647
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:27,000
Speaker 2: Uh?

648
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I don't think that her being Ace is

649
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:32,600
Speaker 1: the reason she's dang. I think she has her own

650
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:36,880
Speaker 1: reasoning that's like very unique to her, and I guess

651
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:39,960
Speaker 1: if it if it works for her, then then that's okay.

652
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:42,720
Speaker 1: I I think that she definitely needs to talk to

653
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:46,040
Speaker 1: like keep having these conversations because this is a trust issue.

654
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:49,959
Speaker 1: He did, regardless of her you know, opinions on icy

655
00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:52,440
Speaker 1: sleep and stuff, he did still cheat on her and

656
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:55,760
Speaker 1: they did have a monogamous relationship. Yeah, so I think

657
00:28:56,000 --> 00:29:00,120
Speaker 1: I guess it's good that they're okay, but go to therapy. Yeah,

658
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:02,320
Speaker 1: Jelly Buss says, it's them dealing with their love and

659
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:04,680
Speaker 1: relationship and trying to figure it out. Very good point,

660
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:07,800
Speaker 1: but all right, that is the end of that story.

661
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 2: Got another one? Do you need to use the bathroom? Anything?

662
00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:15,040
Speaker 2: I do? Go ahead, Okay, may Seeah dude, Ace, Okay,

663
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:17,360
Speaker 2: now I know what ACE means. I can't stop thinking

664
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 2: about volleyball and tennis because that's the only other place

665
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:23,200
Speaker 2: I've heard of ACE, which they're a joke there because

666
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:27,960
Speaker 2: you like hitting. Let's go any questions anyone juggling douggling

667
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:31,840
Speaker 2: probably gonna read probably I could got cheating my boyfriend

668
00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:34,400
Speaker 2: cheating on me while I was pregnant, but won't admit it. Oh,

669
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:36,640
Speaker 2: that one's the worst. But I gotta I gotta save

670
00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:38,880
Speaker 2: my reactions in the back in my face. I always

671
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:41,640
Speaker 2: think of Ace Ventura, right. I thought of the same

672
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:44,280
Speaker 2: thing when I heard Ace. Yes, thank you, you get it,

673
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:47,680
Speaker 2: Thank you, Panda and I curo well color all your eyes. Oh,

674
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:52,640
Speaker 2: I'm Hazel, and Sam and Sophia are brown and John

675
00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:55,320
Speaker 2: is blue bella conkling. Riley, you've got boobs? What sides

676
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:57,480
Speaker 2: would you want to get them? Whatever? My girlfriend has?

677
00:29:57,680 --> 00:30:01,160
Speaker 2: Hers are great, Riley has Angie fantastic. We had a

678
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:03,560
Speaker 2: good weekend. Took her to the beach. I don't like

679
00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:05,280
Speaker 2: the beach. I don't like the beaches here because they're

680
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:08,200
Speaker 2: cold and they are Wendy and she had to wear

681
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:10,640
Speaker 2: a jacket the whole time, and I was like, I'll

682
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:12,600
Speaker 2: take you to the real beach, babe, don't you worry.

683
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:15,400
Speaker 2: But it was cool. It was cool. Denise is Sam sick? No,

684
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:18,200
Speaker 2: he just has a rolled ankle. Jellab How was John's party?

685
00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:20,360
Speaker 2: It was very laid back. It was very chill, and

686
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:22,400
Speaker 2: I loved it. It was really cool. When I did

687
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:25,120
Speaker 2: the game in Riley, what would what do you? What

688
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:28,160
Speaker 2: do you have that everyone uses? But you, Riley, I'm

689
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:31,080
Speaker 2: a vibrator. I just think that was just thinking about

690
00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:34,040
Speaker 2: Sam saying that, Wait, what what do you have that

691
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:37,400
Speaker 2: everyone uses but you? Riley? What what do you have

692
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:40,840
Speaker 2: that everyone uses but you? Oh that I have? Oh?

693
00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:42,720
Speaker 2: Q tips? I use Q tips all the time, but

694
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:44,280
Speaker 2: no one else does. I could probably read today. I

695
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:46,720
Speaker 2: could probably talk her into that. Didn't see juggle in

696
00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:48,760
Speaker 2: when I was when you were doing that. Oh wait, wait,

697
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:52,080
Speaker 2: Riley is miss protein also Southern. She's not. She is

698
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:56,400
Speaker 2: a orange canon goal. She is straight from California, California, Galley,

699
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 2: do they change with your mood? Probably? I think of

700
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:02,360
Speaker 2: Ace from One Piece, not Riley's reactions back in yep, right,

701
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:05,400
Speaker 2: answer about boobs, thank you belly, not bella belly belly

702
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:08,640
Speaker 2: bell Sorry, Bell, I'm so sorry. I keep forgetting that.

703
00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:10,320
Speaker 2: I like to read the Riley ones, like can you

704
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:12,360
Speaker 2: tell us ee, Riley, my eyes magnate to it. Riley,

705
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:14,320
Speaker 2: if you think California beaches are gold, never go to

706
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:17,840
Speaker 2: a Massachusetts I will never. I like, I've always been

707
00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:20,440
Speaker 2: to the ones near the Gulf of Mexico and they're

708
00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:23,440
Speaker 2: just the best rolled ankle. That is true. That's what happened.

709
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:25,680
Speaker 2: He rolled his ankle. That's what he told me. It's

710
00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:27,520
Speaker 2: kind of silly. He jumped off a chair and rolled

711
00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:30,320
Speaker 2: his ankle. Yeah, Grammar, I don't know anything about Grammar.

712
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:33,080
Speaker 2: You ever miss doing country activities out there? And big

713
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:36,000
Speaker 2: old dude, Oh my gosh. Okay, every time I'm sad,

714
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,200
Speaker 2: I'll listen to country music. What I want to do

715
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:41,080
Speaker 2: the most is chop wood. I don't know why, but

716
00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:44,920
Speaker 2: like like anytime, chopping wood with go Devil. That's what

717
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:47,520
Speaker 2: I do with my great grandpa every Saturday morning. Also

718
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:49,760
Speaker 2: made I don't actually not picking green means, but anything

719
00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:51,200
Speaker 2: that has to do with wood, in the smell of

720
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:53,360
Speaker 2: wood or mulch. I miss it. I miss I miss

721
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:56,200
Speaker 2: the pall mills. Sometimes. I went back over the Christmas

722
00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:58,320
Speaker 2: break and I asked my uncle, Hey, can I do

723
00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:00,360
Speaker 2: some Can I cut some wood for you? Just to

724
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:03,040
Speaker 2: prove that I'm still somular? And I was and still

725
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:04,840
Speaker 2: did it, and yeah, it was good. It was good.

726
00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 2: I miss it. I miss the family times. I missed

727
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:10,600
Speaker 2: the mills, the home, the trees. Driving through curvy mountains.

728
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:12,840
Speaker 2: That's why I like going through Malibu and through the valley,

729
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:16,280
Speaker 2: because they're curvy mountains and yeah, I miss I miss

730
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,800
Speaker 2: the answer your name, Riley. I miss that I was

731
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:23,240
Speaker 2: Raley Southerner, but can't say say bill as in southern bail.

732
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:26,240
Speaker 2: I can say bail. Also, sometimes when I sing country songs,

733
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:29,200
Speaker 2: I have to say sing them in a country accent

734
00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:31,840
Speaker 2: because it works. Riley, I just wanted to see this

735
00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:33,960
Speaker 2: for no reason. What's Riley? Just wanted to see you

736
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:36,600
Speaker 2: was a beaver in the past life. No, I just

737
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:39,000
Speaker 2: was a country person in the past. I could dress

738
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:41,320
Speaker 2: up as a lumberjack. I think my girlfriend wants to

739
00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:43,720
Speaker 2: do something for Halloween, so she's gonna plan that, maybe

740
00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:46,440
Speaker 2: get ax throwing. I did do ax throwing. That helped

741
00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:48,760
Speaker 2: for a little bit. Live stream or is it's just

742
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:51,680
Speaker 2: live streamer or videos? Riley, No, We're gonna do more videos.

743
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:52,840
Speaker 2: She's back, The Queen is back.

744
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:53,280
Speaker 1: Hello.

745
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:55,680
Speaker 2: All right, there you go, there's ther Riley time.

746
00:32:57,360 --> 00:32:58,440
Speaker 1: Alright, let's dude,