1 00:00:01,880 --> 00:00:05,359 Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio podcast. 2 00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:10,040 Speaker 2: All right, we have James Van der Beek coming on. 3 00:00:11,039 --> 00:00:13,200 Speaker 2: I'm a big fan of it. Was a big part 4 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:14,520 Speaker 2: of my life when I was younger. 5 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 1: Were you Dawson or Pace? 6 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:20,160 Speaker 2: Daw Yeah, because I was more of the good guy 7 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:22,400 Speaker 2: when I was younger, Like Dawson. 8 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:24,480 Speaker 3: Ac was a bit of a menace, wasn't he. 9 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:25,079 Speaker 4: Yeah? 10 00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:25,920 Speaker 1: I liked Pace. 11 00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:30,800 Speaker 3: Probably. 12 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:33,720 Speaker 2: I probably flipped back and forth at certain points in 13 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:36,680 Speaker 2: my teenage years between the two of them and my 14 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:39,400 Speaker 2: admiration for them, But they always come out thinking. 15 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:43,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, I ultimately always wanted her to end with Dawson, 16 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,280 Speaker 1: like that's who I always wanted her to end up with. 17 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:51,599 Speaker 1: But I was for sure more on the Pace side, Like. 18 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:54,760 Speaker 2: Okay, if she goes with Dawson, she's going to have 19 00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:57,760 Speaker 2: a really nice, stable, safe life. She goes with Pace, 20 00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 2: it could be a roller coaster. 21 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:02,720 Speaker 1: And you know what's crazy is I I don't actually 22 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:05,600 Speaker 1: remember what happened because I watched that years ago. I 23 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:08,080 Speaker 1: mean in high school. Do you even know who she 24 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:08,760 Speaker 1: ended up with? 25 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:11,080 Speaker 3: I don't know? 26 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:15,560 Speaker 1: Is that crazy? I totally I think I don't think 27 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:18,759 Speaker 1: she ended up with any of them. I have no idea. 28 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:20,800 Speaker 1: I'm now going to have to It's a good question. 29 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:22,000 Speaker 1: Go do a rewatch. 30 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,759 Speaker 3: You need to ask him, we need to ask Google. 31 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,920 Speaker 1: Well let's let's not ask him because that sounds super unprepared, 32 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:28,280 Speaker 1: like we don't know. 33 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:34,800 Speaker 3: But if it does, I mean it was thirty years ago. 34 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:37,520 Speaker 1: I know, but it was it thirty years ago. 35 00:01:38,959 --> 00:01:39,240 Speaker 4: Wow. 36 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:43,800 Speaker 1: It was filmed in Wilmington, North Carolina. Shout out to Wilmington, 37 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:46,479 Speaker 1: which I'm going to be there tomorrow, love my tree 38 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:48,000 Speaker 1: Hillers excited to go. 39 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,160 Speaker 3: See that's a beautiful place. 40 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:54,920 Speaker 1: Well Wilmington. Yeah, it's the best. Who ended up with 41 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:57,600 Speaker 1: Who on Dawson's Creak? 42 00:01:58,080 --> 00:01:59,600 Speaker 3: Then some live googling. 43 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:03,080 Speaker 1: Holmes and Jackson ultimately got their way. Joy and Pacey 44 00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:04,720 Speaker 1: got back together, and we're living in New York in 45 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:08,600 Speaker 1: the show. So that's right, I remember now. So it 46 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:13,760 Speaker 1: was pascy Ah, that's right. I totally remember that. 47 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 4: She she ended up with pace She ended up with Pascey. 48 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:18,240 Speaker 1: I do remember that. Now. It's all coming back to 49 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 1: me that we got to rewatch, that that was a 50 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:20,720 Speaker 1: good show. 51 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:22,920 Speaker 3: We've got a few things, but actually to walk. 52 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:26,960 Speaker 1: And my girl Mary's on that show. Who I did? Oh? 53 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:32,000 Speaker 1: Is it cowboy Christmas? Cowboy romance? Some put a cowboy 54 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:34,840 Speaker 1: to Christmas in a romance together and somewhere the title 55 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:37,960 Speaker 1: comes in. She was in that. She was so good. 56 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,480 Speaker 1: I loved her so much. She played Dawson's mom or 57 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:42,600 Speaker 1: James Vanderbeek's mom in it, and she was amazing. 58 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:43,400 Speaker 4: I love her. 59 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:49,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, memories of him climbing out the window just to 60 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:51,120 Speaker 2: always climb out the window, or she used to climb 61 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:54,799 Speaker 2: in the window, remember to get to Dawson's room. 62 00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:58,480 Speaker 1: I think, Yeah, that's. 63 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:00,120 Speaker 3: A cool memory in my life. 64 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:07,720 Speaker 1: A girl climbing in someone's window. Fabulous core core memory. 65 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:12,320 Speaker 2: From Dawson's Creek. Yeah, she used to always climb on 66 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:13,680 Speaker 2: his window. I'm sure of it. 67 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:17,680 Speaker 1: Well. James Vanderbeek also did a One Tree Hill. 68 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:24,600 Speaker 3: It was a director. You went the off of that, 69 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:25,240 Speaker 3: were you? No? 70 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:28,520 Speaker 1: And I didn't ever watch One Tree Hill? So I 71 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:29,639 Speaker 1: didn't know when you left. 72 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:30,480 Speaker 3: You never watched that? 73 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:35,840 Speaker 1: No, I I never watched. I watched like two episodes 74 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:37,840 Speaker 1: when I got the audition because I wanted to see. 75 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:42,480 Speaker 1: I watched a couple just to kind of see what 76 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:45,839 Speaker 1: it was. But no, I never'd say I watched Dawson's Creak, 77 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:47,120 Speaker 1: and then right after I was One Tree Hill, but 78 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:49,880 Speaker 1: I didn't for some reason. I don't know. One Tree 79 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:53,600 Speaker 1: Hill wasn't. It didn't appeal to me for some reason. 80 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:57,200 Speaker 3: And James played a director, isn't it see again? 81 00:03:57,240 --> 00:03:59,040 Speaker 1: I have no clue because I didn't watch it. I 82 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:01,600 Speaker 1: wouldn't know, but I'll ask the why One Tree hillars 83 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:08,400 Speaker 1: this weekend? But they I didn't even know. I've told 84 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:12,320 Speaker 1: this conventions before and the fans were like, oh, that 85 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:18,480 Speaker 1: James Lafferty and Chad Michael Murray were brothers until I 86 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:23,920 Speaker 1: mean maybe my second year filming One Tree Hill. Really, yeah, 87 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:27,880 Speaker 1: I know I was he played, I'm not. 88 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:29,800 Speaker 3: You's no point and tell me who you played. 89 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:32,719 Speaker 1: You never watched it, You've never watched an episode. The 90 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:34,920 Speaker 1: only time I really watched there was a couple scenes 91 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:41,200 Speaker 1: that I rewatched, and uh, I am. I watched the 92 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:47,559 Speaker 1: scene where me and Austin were in my hotel room, 93 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,600 Speaker 1: where I was saying I was afraid of being alone. 94 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:51,400 Speaker 1: That was a really hard scene to film. I wanted 95 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,320 Speaker 1: to see how it turned out, so I rewatched that one. 96 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:56,840 Speaker 1: I watched a couple other, one than the music one 97 00:04:56,839 --> 00:04:58,480 Speaker 1: when I sang on the show. So I watched that back. 98 00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:00,560 Speaker 1: But no, I mean, besides that, it's not like I'm 99 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,600 Speaker 1: gonna sit in front of the TV and watch myself. 100 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,480 Speaker 3: And I'm the same. I don't reflect to watch on things. 101 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:11,680 Speaker 1: It's only to see how something turned out. For example, 102 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:15,160 Speaker 1: in Gaslet, the were the scene that I did at 103 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:17,760 Speaker 1: the end of the movie, in the courtroom scene with 104 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:20,800 Speaker 1: monologus with Austin. Yeah, because it's like it was a 105 00:05:20,839 --> 00:05:23,240 Speaker 1: powerful scene. I wanted to see how it turned out 106 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:28,800 Speaker 1: and if it if how I felt doing it reflected 107 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:35,640 Speaker 1: m H with the final work. And sometimes it turns 108 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:37,800 Speaker 1: out the way you like it, sometimes it doesn't, and 109 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:42,760 Speaker 1: that one, you know, I was really happy with. But yeah, 110 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,640 Speaker 1: besides that, I don't like watching myself because I just 111 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,440 Speaker 1: pick it apart and go I should have done this 112 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:48,240 Speaker 1: or I should have done that. 113 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,920 Speaker 2: Interesting. So I was speaking about James Vandoek as well. Right, 114 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:55,479 Speaker 2: I don't know if he reflects on has worked, but 115 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:57,760 Speaker 2: it was a period where he hadn't he hadn't waked 116 00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:00,320 Speaker 2: for two years and then he got the Dawson's. 117 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,320 Speaker 1: Well he's here, so let's talk to him about it. 118 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:03,920 Speaker 3: Over change these life. 119 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:19,440 Speaker 1: That's how it is. Let's get them on. Well, Hello, 120 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:22,800 Speaker 1: hi James, Hey there, how are you. 121 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:24,159 Speaker 4: I'm good? How you doing. 122 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:27,040 Speaker 1: I'm good. You have such a good voice. I had 123 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:27,640 Speaker 1: no clue. 124 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:31,880 Speaker 4: Oh, thank you so good. I appreciate that. 125 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:35,919 Speaker 1: My daughter we watched the show together and you were 126 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,520 Speaker 1: you were her favorite. So you were so sad. She 127 00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:41,359 Speaker 1: was so bombed. She's like no. And then when you 128 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:44,240 Speaker 1: got when you got umasked, I was like, I knew it? 129 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:46,240 Speaker 4: Yeah, did you did you guess it? 130 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:49,240 Speaker 1: I did guess you at the very like the not 131 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:50,600 Speaker 1: the first episode. 132 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:53,480 Speaker 3: But I didn't guess you by the way, and. 133 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:55,599 Speaker 1: We'll just we'll just jump right into it. But yeah, 134 00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:57,880 Speaker 1: so he was he was saying. 135 00:06:57,640 --> 00:07:00,320 Speaker 2: How I didn't guess you because I thought you were 136 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:02,000 Speaker 2: so good that I didn't think you were an actor. 137 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:05,120 Speaker 4: Wow, yeah, yeah, thank you. 138 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:07,440 Speaker 2: So I was trying to guess singles and I'm like 139 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:12,040 Speaker 2: this be yeah, that's my compliment to your voice was good. 140 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:13,880 Speaker 2: That's I didn't thank you were an actor. 141 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,800 Speaker 4: That's a gomplement. Thank you, Thank you. 142 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:20,720 Speaker 1: So I was watching one of your videos that you 143 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:25,440 Speaker 1: posted on your channel, and you were talking about how 144 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:29,200 Speaker 1: certain things defined you so acting. It's like, but then 145 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,600 Speaker 1: it was when you finally had your family. It's like, 146 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:34,760 Speaker 1: all right, this is this is you know, I'm great 147 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:37,400 Speaker 1: at great at you know, being a dad and a husband. 148 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:40,800 Speaker 1: And I think it's such a And we've kind of 149 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,760 Speaker 1: talked about that because it's like he's had a successful 150 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:44,960 Speaker 1: career and and for me it's like, yeah, I love 151 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:47,360 Speaker 1: acting and saying the things, but it's like being a 152 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:51,040 Speaker 1: parent is the most rewarding, hardest job I've ever done, 153 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,120 Speaker 1: and it's where I can go, Okay, at the end 154 00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:57,400 Speaker 1: of the day, I was made to be this. And 155 00:07:57,440 --> 00:08:00,000 Speaker 1: do you think I mean, you've got six you beautiful kids, 156 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:04,000 Speaker 1: do a beautiful wife? Is there that piece going? Okay, 157 00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:06,240 Speaker 1: I've accomplished and been in some of the best shows 158 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:11,200 Speaker 1: and movies, and I have my purpose is this and 159 00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:15,640 Speaker 1: to be this, you know, rock for them. 160 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:17,720 Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean. 161 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:23,600 Speaker 5: And the post that I think you're talking about it 162 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:28,400 Speaker 5: was actually what the recent health issues I've been dealing 163 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:32,800 Speaker 5: with have taken me too, which is actually getting even 164 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:35,480 Speaker 5: beyond the definition of this is who I am as 165 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:39,559 Speaker 5: a father, I'm a rock, I'm I'm a husband, I'm 166 00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:44,520 Speaker 5: a provider, I'm all these things. Because dealing with cancer, 167 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:47,679 Speaker 5: there was a moment where all those things were all 168 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:50,440 Speaker 5: of a sudden not true. So the way of getting treatment. 169 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,439 Speaker 5: So I couldn't be a father, I couldn't be a husband, 170 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:55,120 Speaker 5: I couldn't be a provider, and I couldn't be any 171 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:58,199 Speaker 5: of these things that I had used as my identity. 172 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 5: And so, you know, the conclusion that I came to 173 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:09,280 Speaker 5: was that even without all that, I'm still worthy of 174 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:10,720 Speaker 5: love simply because I exist. 175 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:13,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, that was a beautiful I mean, it was beautiful 176 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:14,400 Speaker 1: slid thank you. 177 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:17,360 Speaker 5: Yeah, So you know, I mean, that's that's what I 178 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:21,640 Speaker 5: try to teach my kids, you know, is just just 179 00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:25,040 Speaker 5: be just They're worthy of love just for being them. 180 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:27,800 Speaker 5: It's funny if one of my kids asked me one 181 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:31,199 Speaker 5: night when she was about six, She said, Daddy, do 182 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:33,520 Speaker 5: you love me because i'm your daughter or for what 183 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:36,880 Speaker 5: I do? And I was like, oh, man, I better 184 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,720 Speaker 5: stick the landing on this one. This is like a 185 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:41,360 Speaker 5: there's like a big question. So I got a little 186 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:44,280 Speaker 5: nervous and I was like, well, I love you because 187 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:46,880 Speaker 5: you're my daughter, but I also love the things that 188 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:47,280 Speaker 5: you do. 189 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,120 Speaker 4: And she got kind of upset. She's like, but I 190 00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:51,000 Speaker 4: do bad things. 191 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:56,120 Speaker 5: I sneak candy, I sneak sugar all the time, like 192 00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:59,040 Speaker 5: this confessional. And I was talking to a friend of 193 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:02,840 Speaker 5: mine afterwards and he was like, you know, you've got 194 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:05,080 Speaker 5: the question you have to answer half right, he said, 195 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:08,400 Speaker 5: The real question she was asking you is how unconditional 196 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:13,440 Speaker 5: is your love for me? How how unconditionally do you 197 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:13,800 Speaker 5: love me? 198 00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:16,120 Speaker 4: Period? 199 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,960 Speaker 5: And so I offer that up just for any parent 200 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,800 Speaker 5: out there who might be watching, who gets to similar questions, 201 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:25,559 Speaker 5: just think like, are is there a real question like 202 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:28,480 Speaker 5: do you love me unconditionally? No? 203 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:31,320 Speaker 1: I love that because my little six year old will say, 204 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:33,320 Speaker 1: but mommy, I was bad, and it's like it's okay, 205 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:36,120 Speaker 1: you know, like I still love you. And they almost 206 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:38,040 Speaker 1: think if they're bad, then that equals we don't love them, 207 00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:40,240 Speaker 1: and it's like that's the farthest thing from the truth. 208 00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:42,920 Speaker 1: My love for you will never stop ever, whether I'm 209 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,000 Speaker 1: here or on you know the other side, Like I 210 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,080 Speaker 1: will always love you. 211 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:46,960 Speaker 4: So totally. 212 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:47,199 Speaker 1: Yeah. 213 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:50,520 Speaker 5: And I was, And I was forty eight or forty 214 00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:55,199 Speaker 5: seven when I realized how like transactional my own relationship 215 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:56,160 Speaker 5: self love. 216 00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,600 Speaker 4: Was right, Oh, if I do this, then. 217 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:00,480 Speaker 5: I'm worthy of love, if I'm a good father, unworthy 218 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:03,360 Speaker 5: of love. If I'm right, you know all of these things, 219 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:07,200 Speaker 5: you know, which is just one level deeper than you know, 220 00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:09,600 Speaker 5: try to define myself as an actor, which is never 221 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:12,200 Speaker 5: really all that all that cradifying anyway, your book. 222 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:14,160 Speaker 1: Well, I think it's hard because we put so much 223 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:17,880 Speaker 1: on especially in this society, that's what defines us or 224 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:20,000 Speaker 1: if you know, to be the winner at this or 225 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,600 Speaker 1: and at the end of the day, it's like none 226 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,440 Speaker 1: of that, none of that matters. And so that's why 227 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,920 Speaker 1: I just I really loved and resonated with that, because 228 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:30,160 Speaker 1: thank you, we're always chasing to be Okay, what's the 229 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:31,920 Speaker 1: next best thing, what's the all right? And so you 230 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:33,959 Speaker 1: were amassing or that was amazing, you do great, Okay, 231 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:37,400 Speaker 1: what's next? But you have a totally different perspective now, 232 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:40,280 Speaker 1: which I think I wish everyone had because there's so 233 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 1: many times when I try to say to people, this 234 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,000 Speaker 1: life is so short, what are the things that you 235 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:48,280 Speaker 1: want to do? Like you make a you get to 236 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:50,560 Speaker 1: make a difference, and we don't know how long we 237 00:11:50,559 --> 00:11:52,440 Speaker 1: get to make that difference for, so what you know, 238 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:54,240 Speaker 1: what are you going to do? And I think that's 239 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,880 Speaker 1: you know, everyone should have that because there's there's too 240 00:11:57,000 --> 00:12:00,679 Speaker 1: much of the other stuff happening that at all with 241 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:03,200 Speaker 1: wanting to do the what's next and the big stuff 242 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:06,560 Speaker 1: and you know, trying to identity and all of it. 243 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:09,480 Speaker 5: Yeah, and it's good to have goals because goals and 244 00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:13,520 Speaker 5: working toward that helps you build resilions, which is important. 245 00:12:13,679 --> 00:12:18,199 Speaker 5: But but like you said, when when the the goal 246 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:22,800 Speaker 5: becomes the identity, that's that's when you can overlook a 247 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:24,960 Speaker 5: lot of what makes life beautiful. 248 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:28,280 Speaker 1: You said that you you know, this is going to 249 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:30,199 Speaker 1: be the biggest life direct You're going to make changes 250 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:32,440 Speaker 1: that you wouldn't have made otherwise. What are some of 251 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:37,800 Speaker 1: those changes that you're going to make an instill in today? Oh, redirect? 252 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:39,439 Speaker 1: Just a few? 253 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:42,240 Speaker 4: I mean pretty much what I've talked about. You know. 254 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:47,080 Speaker 5: That was the that was the intuitive hit that I got, 255 00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:49,560 Speaker 5: you know, like within days of being diagnosed, and then 256 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:52,520 Speaker 5: I had to go through all the actual lessons, you know. 257 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:55,600 Speaker 5: The first one was being alone for treatment the first 258 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:58,520 Speaker 5: time and walking out of the hotel room and forgetting 259 00:12:58,559 --> 00:13:01,520 Speaker 5: my key and going, god, idiot, you forgot your hotel 260 00:13:01,559 --> 00:13:05,320 Speaker 5: KEI freaking stupid, and you're like, what was I wait 261 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:08,160 Speaker 5: a minute, it's pretty harsh. Is that is it necessary? 262 00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:11,360 Speaker 5: And I realize how negative my own self talk was. 263 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:14,240 Speaker 5: And I hadn't recognized that in the beautiful cacophony he 264 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:16,880 Speaker 5: had six kids and five dogs and thirty six acres 265 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,800 Speaker 5: and all of it. I hadn't realized like how negatively 266 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:22,320 Speaker 5: I was speaking to myself. So that was like phase one. 267 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:26,800 Speaker 5: And then, like I said, this, recognizing how transactional my 268 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:30,679 Speaker 5: own relationship with self love was. If I, if I provided, 269 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:33,520 Speaker 5: if I showed up here, and I was like, well, 270 00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:38,960 Speaker 5: maybe maybe we're all just beings of love and get 271 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:43,200 Speaker 5: to share that and can appreciate every twist and. 272 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:46,319 Speaker 4: Turn along the journeys as we moved towards goals. 273 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:48,719 Speaker 3: How excited about the kids that you were going on 274 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:49,400 Speaker 3: mass singer? 275 00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:51,720 Speaker 4: They were very excited. They were very excited. 276 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,480 Speaker 5: I was nervous about it because I hadn't sung in 277 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:55,800 Speaker 5: public in a very long time. So I shared with 278 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:59,200 Speaker 5: them how nervous I was. I shared with them my fears. 279 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:00,800 Speaker 5: Am I going to lose my boys? I'm not going 280 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:03,280 Speaker 5: to sing well enough? You know, it's a competition show. 281 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:07,120 Speaker 5: There would be judges, like because I wanted them to 282 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:10,480 Speaker 5: watch me try something that, you know, I was a 283 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:14,679 Speaker 5: little bit nervous about trying. So it was really cool 284 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,640 Speaker 5: to see their reaction to it. And they, I mean 285 00:14:17,679 --> 00:14:21,440 Speaker 5: my thirteen year old son, who was very honest all 286 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:25,560 Speaker 5: the time, being like, you were better than I thought 287 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:26,040 Speaker 5: you would be. 288 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:29,520 Speaker 1: Like that is the hugest compliment from a thirteen year old. 289 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:33,520 Speaker 4: That's amazing. Thank you appreciate that. 290 00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:36,240 Speaker 3: That's amazing, and the like did they like the costume? 291 00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:39,480 Speaker 5: They loved, Yeah, I love My six year old said 292 00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:41,120 Speaker 5: I looked like a duck and I was like, I 293 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:42,160 Speaker 5: don't look or a chicken. 294 00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:44,680 Speaker 4: I was like, I don't look like a chicken. I'm 295 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:45,240 Speaker 4: an eagle. 296 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,360 Speaker 5: And then of course, you know she's she knew they 297 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:49,960 Speaker 5: got out of my skin, so then she would just 298 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,040 Speaker 5: call me chicken head. 299 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,800 Speaker 4: But other than that, they love the costume. 300 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:09,720 Speaker 1: Your wife, you always talk about how supportive and amazing 301 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,760 Speaker 1: she is, you know, as an as a wife, Like, 302 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:14,520 Speaker 1: what is one thing that you could say to the 303 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:18,320 Speaker 1: listeners about how like what she does that we can 304 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:20,600 Speaker 1: improve on as wives as well. 305 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,800 Speaker 5: You know, it's the first thing that came to my head, 306 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:28,320 Speaker 5: so I'll say it, and it's a weird one. And 307 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:31,800 Speaker 5: especially she's gotten so much better at this is just 308 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:35,680 Speaker 5: the ability to sit with somebody else's pain. M and 309 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:40,440 Speaker 5: somebody's in pain, especially as men like I feel like 310 00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:42,520 Speaker 5: we always try to solve it. Oh, well you do this, 311 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,680 Speaker 5: did you talk to that person? Just call her and 312 00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:46,520 Speaker 5: then do that, or you do this or stay away 313 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:50,680 Speaker 5: from that, or fix this, And she tries to do 314 00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:53,040 Speaker 5: that too. She's very much a fixer. She's very much 315 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:57,720 Speaker 5: a you know type a get it done. But just 316 00:15:57,760 --> 00:16:00,720 Speaker 5: the ability to say to just sit, to let someone 317 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,520 Speaker 5: else be in pain for a minute and not try 318 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:06,680 Speaker 5: to fix it for him. And sometimes you just kind 319 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:10,080 Speaker 5: of got to let him go through that. And it's 320 00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:13,080 Speaker 5: really not easy. It's not easy for you to watch 321 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:14,120 Speaker 5: somebody else be in. 322 00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:16,600 Speaker 1: Pain, especially someone that you love, and. 323 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:18,400 Speaker 4: That's actually someone that you love. 324 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:21,720 Speaker 5: It takes a certain amount of fortitude and obviously, like 325 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,600 Speaker 5: you know, do whatever you need to do to keep 326 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:27,840 Speaker 5: yourself healthy. Like there are times when she's been like 327 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,760 Speaker 5: I just I kind of have to leave the room. 328 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:33,640 Speaker 5: I'm like, got it totally. But one thing that I 329 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:37,240 Speaker 5: will say that I've really appreciated. It's an odd thing 330 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:41,640 Speaker 5: to say, but it's just her ability to kind of 331 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:43,880 Speaker 5: just sit with my pain and let it be and 332 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,400 Speaker 5: then let me deal with it. And then let me 333 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:48,320 Speaker 5: get over it and get through it without trying to 334 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:49,080 Speaker 5: fix it for me. 335 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:53,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's awesome. It's a hard one. But because I'd 336 00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:55,560 Speaker 1: never like to see you upset, you hate seeing me upset. 337 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,760 Speaker 1: I mean that's just again, when you love someone, that's 338 00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:01,000 Speaker 1: it's a it's your kid, all of it. It's just 339 00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:04,080 Speaker 1: it's hard. Yeah, that's a that's a good reminder. I 340 00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:04,880 Speaker 1: like that one a lot. 341 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:06,639 Speaker 4: Yeah. 342 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:10,400 Speaker 1: Do you like disgusting Dawson's Creek or you. 343 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:13,680 Speaker 4: At this point? Yeah? 344 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:17,040 Speaker 5: I really I have such a like a nostalgia for it. 345 00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:20,400 Speaker 5: I don't know whether it's just time yeah or or what. 346 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:22,160 Speaker 4: But yeah, Well you got some questions. 347 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:24,840 Speaker 1: I mean, are you are you upset that she ended 348 00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:25,439 Speaker 1: up with Pacey? 349 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:26,919 Speaker 4: Oh? God? That question? 350 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:33,520 Speaker 5: That question, that question I hate because honestly, as an actor, 351 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:36,280 Speaker 5: I didn't really have that big of an opinion on it. 352 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,640 Speaker 4: Yeah, And everybody, everybody. 353 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:41,280 Speaker 5: Wants me to come down on one side, and like, 354 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:45,240 Speaker 5: you know, whether it's taff or sixty forty, like, yeah, 355 00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:48,000 Speaker 5: people want me to say one thing so badly and 356 00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:49,359 Speaker 5: they don't want me to say the other thing. And 357 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:52,080 Speaker 5: I just I never know how to answer it because honestly, 358 00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:54,840 Speaker 5: as an actor. I was like, that makes sense, and. 359 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:56,840 Speaker 4: That was kind of that was kind of it. 360 00:17:56,840 --> 00:18:01,119 Speaker 5: It's like I wasn't as invested from a fans perspective 361 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:03,880 Speaker 5: as as a lot of people were. 362 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:07,080 Speaker 1: So isn't it crazy how many people rewatch the show too? 363 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:08,240 Speaker 4: Oh, it's amazing. 364 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:10,040 Speaker 5: And I love that people are invested and I love 365 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:11,760 Speaker 5: that they want me to have an answer to it. 366 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:14,720 Speaker 5: But like if i'm I try to be as honest 367 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:17,400 Speaker 5: as I can at interviews, and the honest answer is is. 368 00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:21,800 Speaker 4: Like, sure, he was flying, you know. And that's a 369 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,280 Speaker 4: terrible answer. That's like nobody wants to hear that one, 370 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:25,440 Speaker 4: but it's kind of the truth. 371 00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:26,480 Speaker 1: No, I get it. 372 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:31,160 Speaker 2: You guys friends, Yeah, yeah, And I've gotten in touch 373 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,399 Speaker 2: with them recently and it's just been so nice. 374 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:37,359 Speaker 5: It's just been so great to talk to them and 375 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:40,720 Speaker 5: catch up with like who they are now this many 376 00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:43,280 Speaker 5: years out and have that shared experience from back in 377 00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:47,080 Speaker 5: the day. It's just been it's so it's just so 378 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:48,959 Speaker 5: lovely every time I get to catch up with one 379 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:49,439 Speaker 5: of them. 380 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,400 Speaker 1: It is cool to have that because you guys were 381 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:54,560 Speaker 1: young and then everyone grew up and they have kids 382 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:58,000 Speaker 1: and a life and a family. And so that someone 383 00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:00,680 Speaker 1: on the different side, and people grow and change, and 384 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:01,320 Speaker 1: so I love. 385 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,560 Speaker 5: Yeah, and we all went our separate ways and you know, 386 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:06,400 Speaker 5: just didn't speak for years because we were just living 387 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:09,040 Speaker 5: our lives and doing our things. And to to just 388 00:19:09,119 --> 00:19:12,120 Speaker 5: kind of reconnected me like, oh wow, I love who 389 00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:12,720 Speaker 5: you've become. 390 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:16,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, right, yeah, And we all deserve that opportunity to 391 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,960 Speaker 1: be able to see the other side and to be 392 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,440 Speaker 1: accepted in the other side too. So yeah, well, James, 393 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:25,359 Speaker 1: you were amazing as Griffin. You are an amazing human. 394 00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:28,360 Speaker 1: I'm praying for you and sending all the good love 395 00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:29,320 Speaker 1: and strength your way. 396 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:30,280 Speaker 4: Thank you so much. 397 00:19:30,359 --> 00:19:34,080 Speaker 5: I appreciate that social pleasure to meet you too. 398 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:35,000 Speaker 2: Well. 399 00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:38,240 Speaker 1: I have a good one bye. You know, I knew 400 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:41,760 Speaker 1: that he wasn't going to answer that question because again, 401 00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:44,719 Speaker 1: they didn't really have the control, but I always just 402 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,240 Speaker 1: like to know because I'm still I think I'm bitter 403 00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:51,879 Speaker 1: because Steve Stephen Claudie always says that he thinks he 404 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:53,800 Speaker 1: would have ended up with Mia, and I'm like, ah, 405 00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:57,919 Speaker 1: why not, Alex. So I'm like why not. 406 00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:01,919 Speaker 2: So what you're saying is actors have egos when it 407 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,359 Speaker 2: comes to if they get the girl or if they 408 00:20:04,359 --> 00:20:09,880 Speaker 2: get the boy. Shows like The Dawson James didn't end 409 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:14,840 Speaker 2: up with the girl, Casey obviously got a as a 410 00:20:15,119 --> 00:20:18,160 Speaker 2: as an on set ego or as the actor's ego 411 00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:21,840 Speaker 2: on Okay, my career would be better if I I 412 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:23,320 Speaker 2: would have got the girl. 413 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:23,920 Speaker 3: They got the boy. 414 00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:26,480 Speaker 1: No, no, no matter. I just remember that I want 415 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:29,200 Speaker 1: an interview with Stephen did and I'm like, ah, Alex 416 00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:31,800 Speaker 1: would have been great for you. What do you mean 417 00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:35,920 Speaker 1: just because I loved my character and she even wanted 418 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:36,480 Speaker 1: to be chosen. 419 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:40,840 Speaker 2: I've seen your character once. I would have chosen a 420 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:44,960 Speaker 2: million percent. But he's so nice, so softly spoken. 421 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:47,320 Speaker 3: As well, he's lovely, like so nice mm hm. 422 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:53,919 Speaker 2: So so nice and what a single but some different 423 00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:57,080 Speaker 2: to say from my childhood is was in my one 424 00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:59,480 Speaker 2: of my favorite shows. He's so nice to see him 425 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:02,879 Speaker 2: and delve into his world a little bit, sex, kids 426 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:04,400 Speaker 2: and thirty five acres and. 427 00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:09,360 Speaker 1: I can't imagine getting a stage three diagnosis of cancer. 428 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:15,080 Speaker 1: But I again, I just I wish everyone could live truly, 429 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,080 Speaker 1: like today is the last day, and I really I 430 00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:21,080 Speaker 1: try my hardest, and I don't do it well, but 431 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:24,880 Speaker 1: I really do try to live. Okay, this is make 432 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:28,280 Speaker 1: not don't stress about this, don't you know, try try 433 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:32,560 Speaker 1: my hardest, because I know how life is so precious. 434 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:35,160 Speaker 3: There was your last day, either got your last she's done. 435 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:41,639 Speaker 1: That would look good, but I know you know what 436 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:42,000 Speaker 1: I mean. 437 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:45,159 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, we get coughp in our own lives, in 438 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:51,720 Speaker 2: their own situations, and you take things for granted absolutely. 439 00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:53,840 Speaker 3: Without doubt, without doubt. 440 00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:56,720 Speaker 2: But he looks like he's got a really I mean 441 00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:59,480 Speaker 2: as much as you can, a really positive mindset around it, 442 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:02,359 Speaker 2: and your gratitude for what he has in terms of 443 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:04,800 Speaker 2: his family and what he's had in his career. 444 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,120 Speaker 3: I mean, such a tough situation. 445 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,440 Speaker 2: It seems like he's on the outside seems like he's 446 00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:13,200 Speaker 2: in a really balanced. 447 00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:18,920 Speaker 1: And yeah, and a good reminder to live your life 448 00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:23,280 Speaker 1: to the fullest and to be kind and to appreciate 449 00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:28,240 Speaker 1: because you just never know, you never know. I agree, well, 450 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:32,520 Speaker 1: love the positive energy and he was great as Griffin 451 00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:36,280 Speaker 1: on Mass Singer And we will be back with another 452 00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:37,480 Speaker 1: adult education next week.