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Speaker 1: I do have some very exciting news that I will

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Speaker 1: be playing the Santa Barbara Bowl. Everybody didn't I say

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Speaker 1: that like a radio announcer. I think I just did.

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Speaker 1: I will be at the Santa Barbara Bowl August one,

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Speaker 1: and pre sale tickets go on sale today from ten am.

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Speaker 1: I said that like a radio host, to ten AM

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Speaker 1: two ten pm. And the pre sale code is Chelsea

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Speaker 1: s B for Santa Barbara. Chelsea s B for Santa Barbara.

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Speaker 1: So get your tickets to that, and then if you

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Speaker 1: can't do that, come to the Mirage on July. Santa

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Speaker 1: Barbara Bowl August one, and then there's a San Diego

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Speaker 1: date somewhere in their humphreeze. You know where you usually

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Speaker 1: get your podcast slash tickets, Live Nation dot com, Chelsea

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Speaker 1: Handler dot com, ticket Master, any of those places. So

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Speaker 1: I will see you all this summer. Okay, Well, welcome

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Speaker 1: to our show today. I'm very excited about today's topic

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Speaker 1: of conversation because our theme today is siblings, and we

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Speaker 1: have one of my brothers calling in which I cannot

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Speaker 1: wait for you to hear. I'm very excited for that. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I love sibling dynamics. You have siblings as well, and yes,

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Speaker 1: I come from a family of six, and there's always

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Speaker 1: one that's a big hot mess. Well, or it could

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Speaker 1: be your parents, right, one out of all of them.

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Speaker 1: And then sometimes some families have multiple hot nurses. I

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Speaker 1: heard an interesting theory the other day. My sister was

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Speaker 1: telling me about there is scientific data to show that

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Speaker 1: when you have two children of the same sex, the

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Speaker 1: third child, your body biologically wants to produce one of

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Speaker 1: the opposite sex. So that's why the third is always

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Speaker 1: a tomboy. If she has two older brothers, or if

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Speaker 1: it's a younger boy, why he may be more feminine

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Speaker 1: than his brothers because your body theoretically is preparing for

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Speaker 1: the opposite sex. And I said, are there studies on that?

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Speaker 1: And she goes, oh, yeah, yeah, like it's in the ziteguys.

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Speaker 1: My family on my dad's side, all of the men

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Speaker 1: had one son followed by two daughters. All of the

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Speaker 1: siblings same pattern. That's strange, like sort biology is that, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it does make sense that your body would try to prepare.

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Speaker 1: Like you know, a lot of people have three boys

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Speaker 1: and then they go for another one, you know, and

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Speaker 1: then they get the girl. Or some people have three

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Speaker 1: they're waiting for the girl, and they're pissed. I remember

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Speaker 1: my friend was so pissed when she found out she

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Speaker 1: was having a baby boy, and I was like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, that is so terrible. Like and then of

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Speaker 1: course you have them and you love them, and you

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Speaker 1: can't even imagine it being any other child, boy, girl,

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Speaker 1: you know whatever. My sister she had three boys and

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Speaker 1: she was so desperate for a girl, and luckily she

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Speaker 1: got it on the fourth tribe. But then there was

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Speaker 1: another family right in town that woman has had. I

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Speaker 1: think it's ten or eleven children, always trying for a girl,

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Speaker 1: all boys so icky, ten or eleven berths out. They

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Speaker 1: have to drive a passenger van. Just to put things

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Speaker 1: into a very clear picture for you, what it looks

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Speaker 1: like to put her stomach in there. That's where the

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Speaker 1: passenger van has to go. She's probably spent more time

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Speaker 1: pregnan than she has, not that a doubt. Yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: so much. It's so unfair what women have to go through.

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Speaker 1: It really is. I can't wait until we can figure

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Speaker 1: out away from men to have babies, you know, let

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Speaker 1: them do it all, let them take that over. The

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Speaker 1: closest thing I could come to talking about or relating

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Speaker 1: to children is you know, obviously my own experience with parenting,

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Speaker 1: which is Bernie's Tammy and Chunk and Gary wherever he

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Speaker 1: may be. Gary, in case people don't know, Gary was

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Speaker 1: a dog that you had for a short period of time.

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Speaker 1: It was a Bernie's Mountain dog that you really wanted

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Speaker 1: and then you got and did he run away? He

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Speaker 1: was my only non rescue dog. And yeah, supposedly he

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Speaker 1: ran away, but that is hard to believe but also believable.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what happened. What happened really, and I

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Speaker 1: won't ever buy a dog again, first of all, because

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Speaker 1: we just did not mash you know, rescue dogs. There's

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Speaker 1: a purpose in it. It feels so purposeful. You know,

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Speaker 1: you can't just love a breed so well. You can,

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Speaker 1: but I don't want to just love a breed so

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Speaker 1: much and get that breed only then then then that's favoritism.

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Speaker 1: And I want my ldren all to feel equally. But

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Speaker 1: I have to tell you that Bert is my favorite

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Speaker 1: because of his body. I try to give Bernice the attention,

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Speaker 1: you know, to make up for the attention I give Bert,

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Speaker 1: but she's just not as receptive. And it's just not

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Speaker 1: the same thing as an independent woman. And she knows

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Speaker 1: that he's the favorite, and she has an attitude and

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Speaker 1: I get it. I like boy dogs, I think better

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Speaker 1: than girl dogs because of the two girl dogs I've

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Speaker 1: had have been very distant and the Tammy and Bernice

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Speaker 1: both had very similar personalities and that maybe because they

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Speaker 1: were part chow or they are. See and I don't

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Speaker 1: like a boy dog. I mean, I love any animal,

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Speaker 1: but I do not like to see. Well. Bert doesn't

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Speaker 1: like you, I know, and I'm the one who went

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Speaker 1: and rescued him. So I don't know how that happened

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Speaker 1: that Ben Bruno and I rescued him. Origin the o

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Speaker 1: G rescue was Ben Bruno and me, So technically Ben

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Speaker 1: Bruno is their father, no wonder he hates Ben Bruno, Yeah, right, exactly.

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Speaker 1: Bert doesn't really like men. I don't know where he

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Speaker 1: gets that from. Well, and speaking of sibling dynamics, that

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Speaker 1: is Burton Bernice. They are their sister. They are from

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Speaker 1: the same amniotic sack everybody. They came from the same litter.

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Speaker 1: Bert and Bernice. Yes, and those were their birth names.

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Speaker 1: Just so you know, I didn't even name them that

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Speaker 1: that was just good fortune on my end. So when

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Speaker 1: he rounded that, I'll never forget the day that Burt

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Speaker 1: rounded the corner and I saw his ass before I

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Speaker 1: saw his face because it was bigger and it was

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Speaker 1: it was like an elephant coming towards me slowly. That

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Speaker 1: was furry, and I couldn't believe it. I was like,

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Speaker 1: holy fuck, this is my day. All right. Well, we

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Speaker 1: have a lot to get into in regards to siblings,

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Speaker 1: so don't we take a quick break. We'll come back.

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Speaker 1: I love using Bert and Bernice as a jumping off

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Speaker 1: point for siblings. They are the dynamic duo. We'll be back. Well,

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Speaker 1: our first emission comes from Hallie. Hi, Chelsea, my name

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Speaker 1: is Hallie and I live in Boise, Idaho. I've been

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Speaker 1: a fan for such a long time, and I know

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Speaker 1: you have a really good relationship with your siblings, So

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Speaker 1: I was wondering, how do you keep that relationship with

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Speaker 1: them so strong because my relationship with my siblings is

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Speaker 1: not the greatest. Well, I would just say, listen, I

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Speaker 1: know sibling dynamics can be very very challenging and difficult

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Speaker 1: and complicated because there's a lot of like injury that

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Speaker 1: nobody even knows about, Like people aren't even addressing it.

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Speaker 1: So you're like holding grudges from a million different things

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Speaker 1: that happened in your childhood. And I would just say

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Speaker 1: to exercise a good communication with them, like just keep

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Speaker 1: in touch, even if you're not necessarily getting what you

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Speaker 1: want back in that relationship, just keep the dialogue going

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Speaker 1: because people ebb and flow and go through things where

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Speaker 1: they'll need your support or you'll need theirs, And because

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Speaker 1: that line of communication is already open, you'll be able

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Speaker 1: to lean on each other in those times, which will

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Speaker 1: bring you closer. And you know, you can just be

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Speaker 1: consistent in your communication and that usually will help cultivate

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Speaker 1: a better, stronger relationship. You know, as long as you're

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Speaker 1: constantly communicating. So and think of being the bigger person

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Speaker 1: and being like, you know, I'm just gonna put myself

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Speaker 1: out there and let them know this line of communication

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Speaker 1: is open. What do you think I was gonna say

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Speaker 1: the exact same thing. Consistent communication. And the thing I

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Speaker 1: found with my siblings is finding ways that they prefer

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Speaker 1: to communicate. So my one sister, she likes to FaceTime.

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Speaker 1: My other sister is much more of a texter. My

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Speaker 1: other sister prefers a call like right when she gets

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Speaker 1: to work in the morning. So again like kind of

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Speaker 1: finding the tempo and ways to communicate based on preference

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Speaker 1: or where you know that you'll be able to have

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Speaker 1: an in depth conversation and taking the time to really ask,

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Speaker 1: you know, thoughtful questions, not just how how's your day going,

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Speaker 1: you know, like how are the kids, what are they doing,

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Speaker 1: what are they learning in school? Ship I don't really

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Speaker 1: care about, per se, but that she does care about

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Speaker 1: because you know, when they have kids, that's where all

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Speaker 1: of their energies going. So yeah, I think you just

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Speaker 1: have to make consistent communication a priority. Yeah, I think

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Speaker 1: that's pretty obvious. So there you go. Problem solved. Tale

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Speaker 1: The next one we do have on the line. Her

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Speaker 1: name is Andrea. She's from Ontario. She's in her thirties,

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Speaker 1: and she writes, Dear Chelsea, this is literally the biggest

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Speaker 1: decision of my life. My sister, who has Down syndrome,

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Speaker 1: was visiting me at the end of February. So just

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Speaker 1: for context, remember the beginning of the pandemic, so February,

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Speaker 1: because we had a grant to make a little film

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Speaker 1: about her. Then everything blew up in the week. Trip

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Speaker 1: has surpassed a year our mom passed away from brain

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Speaker 1: cancer eight years ago, and Adele, my sister, moved into

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Speaker 1: her own apartment in a group home, but due to

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Speaker 1: the pandemic, all of her programs in Ontario have been canceled.

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Speaker 1: I kept her with me and enrolled her in Whistler

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Speaker 1: Adaptive and now she doesn't want to leave. Every day

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Speaker 1: I ask myself, how can I live with this little

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Speaker 1: lady for the rest of my life? But also how

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Speaker 1: can I not live with her for the rest of

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Speaker 1: my life. I like to move freely through the world,

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Speaker 1: and I'm having a hard time trying to figure out

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Speaker 1: how I'm supposed to do that. I know family is

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Speaker 1: very important to you. What do you think, Andrea, Hi, Andrea, Hello.

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Speaker 1: That sounds like yeah, that is a big life decision totally.

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Speaker 1: So what's the status Like if you can have your

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Speaker 1: sister what's her name, if you can have a dell

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Speaker 1: live with you, is there a way for you to

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Speaker 1: continue to have some help with that? Yeah? For sure.

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Speaker 1: Like I have a big community where from Ontario though,

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Speaker 1: so our whole, like my entire extended family is in

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Speaker 1: Ontario and then here it's just the two of us.

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Speaker 1: And with the program that she's in. Are they able

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Speaker 1: to help in any way for like vacation care or

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Speaker 1: if you wanted to get out and go do something.

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Speaker 1: I imagine it's kind of all day every day, But

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Speaker 1: for the times you wanted to get out and go

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Speaker 1: do something, what is the restriction on your life with

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Speaker 1: her being there with you? Um, that part's okay, Like

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Speaker 1: she's she's pretty high functioning, Like I can leave her

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Speaker 1: and two days ago I left her for twelve hours,

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Speaker 1: Like as long as she has food, she's good. I

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Speaker 1: guess it's just like honestly, the originally the biggest issue

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Speaker 1: I had was I was really scared. I kind of

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Speaker 1: feel emotional saying it, like I'm scared I was going

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Speaker 1: to die and and I'd be the only thing she

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Speaker 1: has out here. And right now in Ontario, she's like

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Speaker 1: in the system, she's really well cared for, and I

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Speaker 1: just felt scared of taking on that responsibility like for

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Speaker 1: the rest of my life. Yeah, no, it is emotional,

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Speaker 1: But I think did I hear you when you said

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Speaker 1: Ontario cut all her programs? Right? Yeah? Like right now

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Speaker 1: this is the best place for her in the sense

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Speaker 1: that like she lives in her own apartment in a

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Speaker 1: group home, but because of COVID, she's not going to

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Speaker 1: the adult learning center, she's not engaging with people. She

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Speaker 1: wouldn't have been able to see any family members or

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Speaker 1: the only window in the last three teen months she

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Speaker 1: would have been able to see family members was for

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Speaker 1: like a month last summer and they weren't even allowed

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Speaker 1: to like hug. So like like right now, I'm good.

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Speaker 1: I'm just thinking long term what to do, because it's

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Speaker 1: like she's my best friend, you know, and I look

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Speaker 1: at her and like my heart explodes, like every day

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Speaker 1: we just my brother and I bought her a champoline

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Speaker 1: for her birthday and gave it to her early. And

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Speaker 1: I've never seen anybody like when she's honest she sounds

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Speaker 1: like like a giggling dolphin, like she's just can't control herself.

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Speaker 1: But then she's just shaking her hands and like just

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Speaker 1: can't contain herself, and she's funny and she's like a

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Speaker 1: little boss. It's I'm just I was thinking about it

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Speaker 1: the like two nights ago, thinking about you, and honestly,

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Speaker 1: it's like death. I'm like, I'm scared that I might die,

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Speaker 1: and I'm scared she might die. Because we both watched

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Speaker 1: that with my mom, and my mom was like her

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Speaker 1: big caregiver. Do you feel like you are able to

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Speaker 1: incorporate her in your life though, where you still have

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Speaker 1: a life, because this is I think a common issue

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Speaker 1: my partner is going through, like his mom is going

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Speaker 1: through this with having to move his grandma because she

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Speaker 1: has dementia. And the biggest thing is are you still

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Speaker 1: able to live your life without giving yours up for

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Speaker 1: someone else's? I think now like we found our rhythm

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Speaker 1: for sure. In the beginning, it was so hard anyways

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Speaker 1: because COVID was so scary and unknown, And now it's

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Speaker 1: been thirteen months, we've got our our flow and yeah,

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Speaker 1: and can I ask are you a partner? Do you

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Speaker 1: have husband? Wife? Happily divorced? Okay, well, that's good. I'm

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Speaker 1: glad you got that out of the way. It's best

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Speaker 1: you have you with the rest of your life to

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Speaker 1: live alone, which is really where you're gonna I have

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Speaker 1: a question though, so isn't it something that you can

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Speaker 1: take on, like, you know, like a six month by

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Speaker 1: six month basis if the programs are closed in Ontario. Oh,

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Speaker 1: so you're talking about just extricating her from Ontario for

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Speaker 1: good and not even going back to that program ever

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Speaker 1: when it reopens. Yeah, oh, I see, okay, because right

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Speaker 1: now her life is preserved, right like her apartments there,

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Speaker 1: all the programs, like she's in the system. Everything's good,

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Speaker 1: everyone's happy. She's here with me. But it's you know,

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Speaker 1: when the pandemic ends, and I think about it every day. Yeah, right,

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Speaker 1: And what is the downside of when the pandemic ends

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Speaker 1: and there and her programs are back in place and

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Speaker 1: she's got it all dialed in in Ontario with your

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Speaker 1: extended family. What's the downside of having her go back

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Speaker 1: there and you're visiting her regularly. She doesn't want to

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Speaker 1: go back. She wants to live with me. Yeah, And

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Speaker 1: she's she is thriving, and she's happy, and she definitely

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Speaker 1: gives more to my life than she takes. But it's

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Speaker 1: just also I guess, just being divorced, like it's like

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Speaker 1: this is the biggest commitment there is because it is forever,

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Speaker 1: Like I wouldn't be able to just take her on

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Speaker 1: and then six months later put her through all that

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Speaker 1: trauma and stuff. And then I also she talks about

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Speaker 1: how she wants to be in VC all the time.

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Speaker 1: And I heard her telling someone that we're going to

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Speaker 1: go back to Ontario student pack up all her stuff

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Speaker 1: and then bring her back. And you know, and I'm

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Speaker 1: like like, and I don't talk about it ever because

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Speaker 1: I don't want her to have false hope or not.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, well, it sounds like you have a really

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Speaker 1: beautiful relationship with your sister, and like, I totally get it.

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Speaker 1: I would do it because I would be like, how

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Speaker 1: could I not do it? You know, I get what

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Speaker 1: you're saying about that. So it does sound like though,

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Speaker 1: that she adds so much to your life and you

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Speaker 1: love her so much. I mean, think about what you

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Speaker 1: were just describing, Like watching her on the trampoline, Like

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Speaker 1: that is joy and like the meaning of life, right,

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Speaker 1: that is it to see somebody in that kind of

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Speaker 1: space and to get to experience that on the regular.

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Speaker 1: I think it adds to your life more than it

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Speaker 1: takes away. Yeah, I guess I have a fear of commitment,

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Speaker 1: you know, right, I get that I have that too,

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Speaker 1: I understand. Just remember everything has been magnified in the

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Speaker 1: last year, Like everything feels a bit more intense because

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Speaker 1: of what we're going through collectively. So you've said that

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Speaker 1: you've kind of found your footing and in your routine

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Speaker 1: with her. And I think that's only going to get

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Speaker 1: easier the longer that she's there, and that you'll just

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Speaker 1: find more ways to incorporate and have your own space

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Speaker 1: mentally and physically for yourself where she is not a burden,

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Speaker 1: where she's incorporated. And you said yourself, like, she adds

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Speaker 1: so much. I think that will only continue. I do,

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Speaker 1: and part of me is like, am I just completely selfish?

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Speaker 1: And if I wasn't where I lived like I us,

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Speaker 1: another country at different culture, it wouldn't even be a question,

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Speaker 1: you know, like she would just live with me. But

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Speaker 1: it's also okay to have those thoughts and feelings and

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Speaker 1: want to figure that out because your person and you're

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Speaker 1: entitled to have those are emotions, Like you can't help

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Speaker 1: the fact that you're having feelings or thoughts like, yes,

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Speaker 1: everyone has a desire to be selfish. I mean, that's

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Speaker 1: not something you can beat yourself up for your at

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Speaker 1: least being honest about it, which is a lot healthier

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Speaker 1: than being in den The worst thing you could do

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Speaker 1: for Adele would be not thinking about yourself and just

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Speaker 1: leaning in and doing it, because that's a good one.

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Speaker 1: Brandon That is good because it's because then months later

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Speaker 1: you build resentment. You really should have taken more time

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Speaker 1: to think about it. So the fact that you're doing

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Speaker 1: this now before making the commitment, it's just going to

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Speaker 1: set you both up for success. And I think her

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Speaker 1: being there and vocalizing to you like I don't want

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Speaker 1: to leave, that's definitely something to take into consideration. But

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Speaker 1: then having to think for her where is going to

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Speaker 1: be the best place for you long term? Like that's

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Speaker 1: also that is sadly your burden and responsibility. That may

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Speaker 1: not be the result she wants, but ultimately you know,

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Speaker 1: because you're operating in her best interest, that maybe Ontario

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Speaker 1: is the best place for her. And again, it would

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Speaker 1: be a hard conversation, but you're going through all that

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Speaker 1: right now, so it's going to take a little time

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Speaker 1: for you to really hone in on what that looks

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Speaker 1: like for you both. Yes, when do you want to

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Speaker 1: make a decision by I don't know, Like I was

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Speaker 1: going to bring her back last ball and then everything

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Speaker 1: then I was like, oh, nothing's really changed, So I

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Speaker 1: feel like I'm you know, I've taken her on to

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Speaker 1: take care of her for this time, so I have

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Speaker 1: to commit to that. I also feel like right now,

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Speaker 1: like I can't really go anywhere. So it works really well.

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Speaker 1: And and that's the thing, like maybe when the restrictions go,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if it looks like she goes back

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Speaker 1: for a few months to see how we both actually

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Speaker 1: really feel and then kind of come back have a

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Speaker 1: healthy break. That sounds like a very reasonable option and

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Speaker 1: is not a conversation you could have with her and

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Speaker 1: that she would understand and accept. I've been trying to

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Speaker 1: just position it to her that she does like live

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Speaker 1: in Ontario and like I would never say this is

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Speaker 1: a trial for you going back. Usually she fights me

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Speaker 1: on it, and then like a few days later she'll

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Speaker 1: walk around my house and she'll be like, oh, I

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Speaker 1: need this pencil when I go back to Ontario. So

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Speaker 1: she she does get it, and she's, yeah, I think

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Speaker 1: that would be the best option, would be to obviously

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Speaker 1: take a little space break and then I bet you

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Speaker 1: you'd really miss her. Yeah. I look at her like

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Speaker 1: in my heart explodes and I miss her like in

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Speaker 1: that second knowing, you know, and it's it is that

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Speaker 1: pure joy, but it's also like just like that unconditional

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Speaker 1: love and like I wish I could have as much

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Speaker 1: compassionate for myself as I do for her. Right, well,

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Speaker 1: it seems like you have your decision made. It's just

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Speaker 1: gonna take you some time to reconcile it because seemingly

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Speaker 1: she's not going anywhere, and even if she does, she'll

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Speaker 1: be back. So I think it's just gonna take a

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Speaker 1: little time for you to accept that that this is

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Speaker 1: your new life circumstance, and that's okay. Yeah, yeah. There

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Speaker 1: is a really incredible bond between sisters though, so I

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Speaker 1: you know, I know what you're talking about, Okay, But

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Speaker 1: then part of me is like, will I ever date

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Speaker 1: again or will we just be too middle aged women

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Speaker 1: living together for the rest of our question That comes

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Speaker 1: up with me and my sister quite frequently as well,

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Speaker 1: so that's a common theme among sisters. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: tell her the same thing. I'm gonna tell her the

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Speaker 1: same thing I tell you, No, you're not going to

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Speaker 1: be alone forever, and it'll speak volumes of whatever person

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Speaker 1: you end up with that knows like this is part

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Speaker 1: of my life, and this is like a part of

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Speaker 1: my life that I love and the reason why they're

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Speaker 1: going to be drawn to you in the first place,

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Speaker 1: you know, because you've taken this on and then you're

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Speaker 1: creating a whole, this great non traditional family, you know,

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Speaker 1: Like that's fun and modern and cool and compassionate. What

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00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:10,119
Speaker 1: Adele will bring to that person's life, like this is

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Speaker 1: all part of it. It's the mix of like personalities

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Speaker 1: and love and affection that you'll have with whatever person

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Speaker 1: you end up with next. Who will see that in her?

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Speaker 1: And like I want that in my life as well,

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Speaker 1: Like look what she can bring to me. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't worry about that. Yeah, Okay. She's funny, though she's

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Speaker 1: like a bit manipulative, Like she's like you can't eat anyone.

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Speaker 1: She's like, you're you're with me? How old is Adele?

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Speaker 1: And a lot of her she's like an eight year old.

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Speaker 1: A lot of her she's like a sixty year old.

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Speaker 1: That sounds like me. Yeah. Yeah, she's amazing for sure,

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00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:46,399
Speaker 1: and she's hilarious. Send us a picture of the two

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Speaker 1: of you together, will you like to say? I'll send

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Speaker 1: a video of on the trampoline. Yeah, if we love

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Speaker 1: that and let us know what you end up doing.

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Speaker 1: Please Okay, all right, well, thank you, thank you? All right,

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00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:05,040
Speaker 1: nice to speak to you Andrea you too. Definitely probably

400
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:10,600
Speaker 1: the most serious. Yeah, but very rational and so cute.

401
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:13,840
Speaker 1: I mean, it's definitely a complicated situation to be in.

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00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,480
Speaker 1: I don't know what I would do in that circumstance,

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00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:20,000
Speaker 1: but it seemed like she knew before she even called

404
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Speaker 1: what she wanted to do. Yeah, Like I remember saying,

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Speaker 1: when my father was in a nursing home on the

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Speaker 1: East Coast, I say to my brothers and sisters want

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Speaker 1: it would just move him out to l A, like

408
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:31,680
Speaker 1: I can get him twenty four hour care here, or

409
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Speaker 1: you know, we have my bell and they were like, no,

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Speaker 1: you can't take that on, Like you think you can

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00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:39,760
Speaker 1: take that on, but you just can't. And they saved

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Speaker 1: me from myself. But that was a different situation because

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Speaker 1: that's my father, and I have no patience and I'm

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Speaker 1: not nearly as you know, loving and sweet as this

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Speaker 1: woman is. So when you're talking to somebody who you

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Speaker 1: know has an eight year old brain and they're like,

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Speaker 1: I want to be with you. I live with you,

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Speaker 1: now live with not giving into that is really respectful,

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Speaker 1: like not just appeasing them because they're just in a

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00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:02,440
Speaker 1: moment and they love you and they're a little kid,

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Speaker 1: and you want to make them happy. So she's already

422
00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:07,760
Speaker 1: very adult like, you know, because she's made it clear, no,

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Speaker 1: you live in Ontario. You live in Ontario. But I

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00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:12,439
Speaker 1: think that they should be together. I think that they

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Speaker 1: will be. I'll be curious to see what happens over

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Speaker 1: the next few months. I really do hope that she

427
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:18,440
Speaker 1: checks in. I mean, I guess if these people check

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00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:21,159
Speaker 1: back in will be a big reflection on the podcast. Brandon,

429
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,359
Speaker 1: I think, well, I think a lot of people really

430
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:26,960
Speaker 1: just need perspective that is not part of their bubble,

431
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:29,880
Speaker 1: their group, because you just get so overwhelmed by what's

432
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:31,560
Speaker 1: going on. I think about her friends, who are you know,

433
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:34,479
Speaker 1: having this conversation daily. It's really hard to give an

434
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:37,679
Speaker 1: honest opinion, and we don't know them, so it's very

435
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:39,560
Speaker 1: easy for us to tell them things that they may

436
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:43,680
Speaker 1: not like. But I shaved my legs this morning outside

437
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:45,840
Speaker 1: on the deck. Did you shake your face? No, I

438
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:47,520
Speaker 1: haven't shaved my face in a while. Actually I should

439
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:50,080
Speaker 1: probably do that, but on the patio or whatever that

440
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:53,439
Speaker 1: area is, and I cut myself bleeding and then my

441
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:55,280
Speaker 1: pants got blood on them and they're white. Do you

442
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:58,600
Speaker 1: dry shave? Well? I was because the light was so

443
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:01,000
Speaker 1: great that I just thought, you know what, I should

444
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:04,680
Speaker 1: get a razor right now. Yeah, I was. It turned

445
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,520
Speaker 1: out to be a little bit of a blood bath

446
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:10,560
Speaker 1: this morning. Luckily Felix came in first thing. Yes, Felix

447
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:13,320
Speaker 1: is the groundskeeper at the house. Well, don't say groundskeeper.

448
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:16,200
Speaker 1: That sounds very white privilege. How would you describe him?

449
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 1: I thought he was the dog walker Brandon. No, I mean,

450
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:24,199
Speaker 1: I know he does other things. Described. I describe him

451
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:30,520
Speaker 1: as Bernice's Bernice's boyfriend. He is the best, Felix. Yeah, yeah,

452
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:33,320
Speaker 1: he's much better than Oscar. Who was the last guy

453
00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:35,480
Speaker 1: that did this job. Oscar? There was the other one.

454
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,119
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, let's not even mention his name. He quit.

455
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:41,720
Speaker 1: Do you remember why? What was it? He didn't like

456
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:45,200
Speaker 1: that a gay guy was giving him. Say that a lot, Yeah,

457
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:47,359
Speaker 1: that you run into that a lot, right, gay guys

458
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:51,199
Speaker 1: straight men not straight men. I found really do not

459
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:52,879
Speaker 1: like it if I have to work with them and

460
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:56,120
Speaker 1: give them direction on something. Very butch men don't give

461
00:21:56,119 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 1: a ship who they get direction from. There's like an

462
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:02,240
Speaker 1: inherent insecurity and they don't like that. And what about women?

463
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:05,479
Speaker 1: Straight women? They love it? No, they don't give a ship.

464
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:07,600
Speaker 1: But there's no ego and anything a straight woman does,

465
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:09,080
Speaker 1: like if you give them direction, she's like, hey, we

466
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:11,359
Speaker 1: need to do it this way. It's like, okay, it's

467
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:14,440
Speaker 1: so easy to communicate with a woman. Yeah, that's so true.

468
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:17,280
Speaker 1: That's why men there are signs everywhere where wear a mask,

469
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:21,359
Speaker 1: however you do it. Yeah, we spent an entire pandemic

470
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:23,679
Speaker 1: with signs everywhere saying wear a mask, and they wouldn't

471
00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:26,359
Speaker 1: do it. If I ever see another man with a

472
00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:29,919
Speaker 1: mask underneath their nose, I mean, I'm just gonna lose it.

473
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:32,520
Speaker 1: I am. I can't not say anything. I mean, I

474
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:34,680
Speaker 1: know it's kind of like over now, but if I

475
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:36,119
Speaker 1: see it again, I'm going to get as mad as

476
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:37,960
Speaker 1: I did before. It's like poking a hole in your

477
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:40,600
Speaker 1: condom before you put it on, like it serves no purpose.

478
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,080
Speaker 1: It's also just the most unflattering way to look at

479
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:45,680
Speaker 1: someone is to see them without a mouth, like to

480
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:48,960
Speaker 1: see nose up. No, no, no, no, that doesn't isn't

481
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:51,160
Speaker 1: It is like looking at a dick pic. Most people

482
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:52,840
Speaker 1: don't have the face for that, They don't have the

483
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:55,880
Speaker 1: face structure to carry that. You have to ask yourself

484
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,560
Speaker 1: do you have the nose up face. Although it is

485
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:02,400
Speaker 1: an adjustment to see people's whole faces, I am very

486
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:04,919
Speaker 1: glad we are transitioning out of this phase, and I

487
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:08,760
Speaker 1: hope it is permanent. I think I'm just gonna keep

488
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:10,440
Speaker 1: my mask on, but I agree. I mean, it's nice

489
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,680
Speaker 1: to have the option to take it off. I once

490
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:15,160
Speaker 1: slept in a mask accidentally woke up with it. Obviously

491
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:17,800
Speaker 1: I was intoxicated, but I think I was so disgusted

492
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:19,399
Speaker 1: by the person that I was with who said he

493
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:22,040
Speaker 1: didn't think masks worked, that I kept it on for

494
00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:24,240
Speaker 1: extra coverage that You're like, I'm going to make sure

495
00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:26,680
Speaker 1: i'm protected after being around you. I told you about

496
00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:29,159
Speaker 1: the guy went off on at the gym. Right I

497
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:31,520
Speaker 1: was walking down the stairs and Jim's finally reopened here,

498
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:34,959
Speaker 1: so I was really excited and went in for one

499
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:36,800
Speaker 1: of my first workouts, and I was walking down the

500
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:38,639
Speaker 1: stairs and this guy was on the elliptical. I mean

501
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:42,280
Speaker 1: he was barely moving, had his mask totally off, not

502
00:23:42,359 --> 00:23:44,480
Speaker 1: even under his chin, and so I be aligned it

503
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:46,399
Speaker 1: for him and I was like, hey, hey, put on

504
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:48,960
Speaker 1: your fucking mask, and the people are all looking he

505
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:52,159
Speaker 1: what's going on? Are you new to the what's going on?

506
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:55,639
Speaker 1: I don't know a pandemic? People? Are you new to

507
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 1: the fucking planet? Because it doesn't matter where he came from,

508
00:23:58,040 --> 00:23:59,760
Speaker 1: you know what's going on here? Like, put on your

509
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:01,240
Speaker 1: map and what do you see? This woman over here

510
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:04,320
Speaker 1: sprinting uphill on the treadmill. She has her mouse completely

511
00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 1: on your barely fucking glistening, Like, what are you doing?

512
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,280
Speaker 1: You're not exerting yourself, buddy, you have athletic induced asthma

513
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:14,240
Speaker 1: from wrestling in sixth grade. Put on your mask and

514
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:18,600
Speaker 1: then take up puff of your inhaler. Well wait, remember

515
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:20,520
Speaker 1: that happened in New York City when we were filming

516
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:22,639
Speaker 1: my special. We were coming around the corner we took

517
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:26,080
Speaker 1: a ploties class in the morning. Two guys outside FedEx

518
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:29,080
Speaker 1: workers and they weren't wearing masks, and I was like, hey, guys,

519
00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:31,159
Speaker 1: why aren't you wearing masks? And they're like, who's the

520
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:33,440
Speaker 1: word outside? And I'm like, yeah, but you're two feet

521
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 1: away from each other, Like that's what's happening. We're all

522
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:37,800
Speaker 1: spreading it two ft away from other people walking on

523
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 1: the sidelore, right, And then some guy came up on

524
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:42,639
Speaker 1: a bike and he's like, you shut up? What do

525
00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:45,560
Speaker 1: you call me? Bitch? Bitch? And I was wearing my mask,

526
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:47,359
Speaker 1: so there's no way he even knew who I was.

527
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:51,080
Speaker 1: And I was like, I would be a little bit

528
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:54,200
Speaker 1: more understandable. And I was like, what I mean, when

529
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:57,320
Speaker 1: somebody provokes me like that, I can't not engage, like

530
00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:58,760
Speaker 1: I want to be like you will knock at the

531
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:01,960
Speaker 1: last word, which is so stupid. But it's so ridiculous

532
00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:05,400
Speaker 1: that they want to validate their behavior or become aggressive.

533
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:07,520
Speaker 1: And that's so I was a little in front of you,

534
00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:09,720
Speaker 1: and I didn't realize what was happening. And as soon

535
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:11,680
Speaker 1: as the guy pulled up on his bike and called

536
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 1: you a bitch, like I stepped up because I'm like,

537
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:16,359
Speaker 1: you don't know what people are going to do, because

538
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:18,760
Speaker 1: all you need is some fucking vitamin C. You just

539
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:21,120
Speaker 1: got to take vitamin C and then that's all you need.

540
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:24,760
Speaker 1: There's no such thing as COVID. And I was like, oh, okay,

541
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,440
Speaker 1: well now we're dealing with, like, you know, a chocolateyte,

542
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:33,280
Speaker 1: a New York chocolodte. It's just so unbelievable. Okay, well

543
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:35,920
Speaker 1: should we take another caller? I mean, I guess unless

544
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:38,200
Speaker 1: we want to go on about those guys. The next

545
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:41,199
Speaker 1: emission comes from Jessica. She's in her twenties. We do

546
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:44,080
Speaker 1: not know where she is. Oh, it's a mystery. It's

547
00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:47,000
Speaker 1: like Mtery Alaska, remember that movie Mry Alaska. I'm in

548
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:49,400
Speaker 1: San Diego. Where in the world is she? We don't

549
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:52,720
Speaker 1: know shere. It's dear Chelsea. I recently got really drunk

550
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:55,199
Speaker 1: and hooked up with my best friend's brother, Tail as

551
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:57,520
Speaker 1: Old as Time, Jessica. I told my best friend I

552
00:25:57,520 --> 00:25:59,919
Speaker 1: wouldn't hook up with his brother because he's notorious for

553
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:03,000
Speaker 1: banging lots of women. Well that should have been your

554
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:05,119
Speaker 1: signal right there. We all hung out and had a

555
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 1: great time in the community we live in is really small,

556
00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:10,120
Speaker 1: so it could cause problems in the long run. I've

557
00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:11,960
Speaker 1: had a huge crush on his brother for eight months,

558
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:13,639
Speaker 1: and I held out for this long and then I

559
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:16,080
Speaker 1: just sucked it all up because of whiskey and white Claw.

560
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:19,200
Speaker 1: Also Taylor as Old as Time. But now it's done,

561
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 1: and he expressed that he really enjoyed it and he

562
00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:23,760
Speaker 1: hasn't been acting weird at all. So the question is

563
00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 1: do I bang him again? Yes or no? Hi, Jessica,

564
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:32,160
Speaker 1: I Chelsea Jessica, I can tell just by the looks

565
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:34,639
Speaker 1: of you that you're going to have sex with him again. Also,

566
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:36,880
Speaker 1: I can already tell look at how happy you are.

567
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:42,840
Speaker 1: You're every fun girlfriend I had in college. I'm not

568
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 1: in college anymore. I'm past that. But I think I

569
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:49,360
Speaker 1: got worse after I graduated. So yeah, but whatever, who

570
00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,199
Speaker 1: gives a ship you get worse in what way that

571
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:54,040
Speaker 1: you like sex? Who cares? That's what we're here for.

572
00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:56,639
Speaker 1: That's what we're here for. That's what these ages for

573
00:26:56,920 --> 00:27:00,040
Speaker 1: is to have fun and you know, go explored. I

574
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:03,439
Speaker 1: know who you're into and for how long. Yeah, the

575
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:06,280
Speaker 1: problem is that I make the wrong choices and who

576
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:08,320
Speaker 1: I want to have sex with, and then I get

577
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:12,360
Speaker 1: myself into trouble because of it, as you can see. Yeah,

578
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 1: but it sounds like you like trouble then because you

579
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:16,280
Speaker 1: knew that he didn't want you to sleep with him.

580
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:17,920
Speaker 1: Does your friend know that you slept with his brother

581
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:21,000
Speaker 1: by the way he does? He does, and he wasn't

582
00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:24,320
Speaker 1: very happy about it, and he's assuming that I'm not

583
00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:31,480
Speaker 1: going to do it again. Has he met you? Unfortunately?

584
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:33,840
Speaker 1: When you say that, well, don't say that. I mean

585
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:35,119
Speaker 1: I've met you, and I could tell you're going to

586
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,720
Speaker 1: do it again. So I mean, I don't know, what's

587
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:41,879
Speaker 1: no question in my mind she's gonna suck him, probably tonight. Okay,

588
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:44,159
Speaker 1: you say that you get into trouble with your decisions.

589
00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:47,399
Speaker 1: What is it that becomes problematic? Do you get involved

590
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:51,879
Speaker 1: emotionally and these guys are just pieces of ship or what? No? No,

591
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:56,159
Speaker 1: I just I choose the most dramatic situations to be in.

592
00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:59,920
Speaker 1: So there's more to this story than just the email

593
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,639
Speaker 1: that I sent you. Guys, well, can we get the

594
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:06,879
Speaker 1: cliffs notes? Not development? So I live in a very,

595
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:10,560
Speaker 1: very small town, so that's one of the problems. And

596
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:15,440
Speaker 1: this boy who I hooked up with his ex girlfriend

597
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:20,080
Speaker 1: happens to be my laser hair removal technician and she's

598
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:22,920
Speaker 1: that ship crazy. Okay, well, don't go back to her

599
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:27,200
Speaker 1: or you'll lose more than you wanted. I'm not I'm terrified.

600
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:29,480
Speaker 1: Does she know how many sessions have you done with

601
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 1: the laser hair removal? Like five? That's plenty. You don't

602
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:35,960
Speaker 1: need to do anymore. I mean, honestly, I just yeah,

603
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,520
Speaker 1: I mean, and just go back for a touch up

604
00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:40,960
Speaker 1: to someone else. Obviously. The other thing is I understand

605
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:43,120
Speaker 1: what you mean about being drawn to drama. I used

606
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:46,920
Speaker 1: to be like, how old are you? I seven? That's

607
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:49,680
Speaker 1: an age to be kind of a funk up. Sorry

608
00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:52,360
Speaker 1: to say it, but that's like we're attracted to drama

609
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:55,280
Speaker 1: at that age because we're not fully an adult yet.

610
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:57,720
Speaker 1: You're really not an adult until you're in your thirties.

611
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:00,520
Speaker 1: But you shouldn't beat yourself up like I stand about

612
00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:03,280
Speaker 1: making bad decisions. You don't want to piss your friends off,

613
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:05,000
Speaker 1: you don't want to piss your family off, or you

614
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:08,320
Speaker 1: don't want to do anything that's so unforgivable. So it's

615
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:12,240
Speaker 1: important to like check your behavior. But at the same time, like,

616
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:14,920
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but your twenties are for mistakes in bed,

617
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:17,720
Speaker 1: you know, and like it's kind of like a coming

618
00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:21,240
Speaker 1: of age, really integral part of your life. Yeah, and

619
00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:24,520
Speaker 1: as a woman, you shouldn't have to be validated by

620
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:26,040
Speaker 1: anyone else for your decisions. Like if you want to

621
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:27,440
Speaker 1: fox someone, you do it, And as long as you're

622
00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:31,920
Speaker 1: not harming yourself or them physically or emotionally, you shouldn't

623
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:33,480
Speaker 1: have to answer to anyone about that. First of all,

624
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:36,200
Speaker 1: it's very personal. So even your friend he should have

625
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:40,400
Speaker 1: no voice in this. His opinion. Again, unless it's harming

626
00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:43,920
Speaker 1: him physically or severely emotionally, you should be able to

627
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:46,680
Speaker 1: do what you want to do. I know, I just

628
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 1: feel like every time I want to like, like I said,

629
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:52,040
Speaker 1: I'm not like the type of person who's a home wrecord,

630
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:54,760
Speaker 1: I'm not going to do anything awful like that. Just

631
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:56,720
Speaker 1: I feel like every time I go out and I

632
00:29:56,800 --> 00:29:59,160
Speaker 1: find somebody that I'm like, I want to do with you,

633
00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:02,280
Speaker 1: it's you. I'm trying view somebody has something to say

634
00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:04,360
Speaker 1: about it, and I don't know why. I don't know why.

635
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:06,360
Speaker 1: It's always just like no, like you're going to ruin

636
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:10,240
Speaker 1: everything you're am I only supposed to bang like complete strangers,

637
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:11,920
Speaker 1: Like I'm not allowed to do it within like the

638
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,480
Speaker 1: friend group because it's such a small community. There are

639
00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 1: no strangers for me to go find, Like everybody knows everybody.

640
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,560
Speaker 1: So are you can I ask you a question, Yeah,

641
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:23,200
Speaker 1: as someone from a small town, do you make it

642
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:26,920
Speaker 1: dramatic afterwards? Because I know that sometimes that can happen.

643
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:28,880
Speaker 1: I don't that you go into it with like zero

644
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:32,000
Speaker 1: expectations and that you just want to fuck and that's fine,

645
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:34,040
Speaker 1: but then you get wrapped up in the drama. Yourself. Yeah,

646
00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:36,640
Speaker 1: sometimes exactly, Like if you're prone to a lot of

647
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:40,080
Speaker 1: drama's usually because you like drama. I don't, I swear

648
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:42,760
Speaker 1: it's it's I think that the people that I surround

649
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:45,720
Speaker 1: myself with do maybe I feed off of that. Brandon,

650
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:48,480
Speaker 1: should she have some again? Can if he can keep

651
00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:51,200
Speaker 1: his mouth shut, If he's respectful of you enough to

652
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:55,080
Speaker 1: where you want to keep this very casual and noncommittal,

653
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:56,960
Speaker 1: and he respects that and will not tell anyone, then you,

654
00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:59,160
Speaker 1: guys should have a good time. You're twenty seven years

655
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:02,560
Speaker 1: old like this. It shouldn't be and everybody shouldn't be

656
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:04,720
Speaker 1: wanghing in who cares about his ex girlfriend who's a

657
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:07,560
Speaker 1: wax esthetician, Like she has nothing to do with your

658
00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:10,680
Speaker 1: life at all. I mean they're not together, right, No,

659
00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 1: I'm just worried if she were to find out. But

660
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 1: all your worry is what if? What if? What if?

661
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:17,720
Speaker 1: What if? Your friends are all worried about what if?

662
00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:22,000
Speaker 1: What if? Nothing's happening, So stop sucking worrying. You're gonna

663
00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:25,200
Speaker 1: make something happen, and you're gonna you're engaging the drama.

664
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:27,760
Speaker 1: You have to be like, hey, guys, I'm an adult.

665
00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:29,480
Speaker 1: I'm twenty seven years old. If I want to have

666
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:31,200
Speaker 1: a little fun, I want to have a little fun.

667
00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:34,080
Speaker 1: The other thing is if it's your friend's brother and

668
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:35,760
Speaker 1: your friends really sensitive, then you have to have a

669
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:38,400
Speaker 1: more adult conversation with your friend and be like, hey,

670
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:40,920
Speaker 1: like I don't want to ruin our friendship, but like

671
00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:43,560
Speaker 1: that was a lot of fun. Like what's the problem?

672
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:46,480
Speaker 1: Can I have a casual relationship with your brother? Or

673
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:48,720
Speaker 1: is he worried that it will get serious and you'll

674
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:52,320
Speaker 1: get your heartbroken? Right? No, you're right, I shouldn't have

675
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:55,480
Speaker 1: that conversation with him. Well, also because he he's made

676
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 1: like moves on my friends, So I'm like, why can

677
00:31:57,680 --> 00:31:59,000
Speaker 1: you do it to mine? But I can't do it

678
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:02,680
Speaker 1: to yours? Exactly because men want control over everything. They're

679
00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:06,480
Speaker 1: the fucking worst. Do not give in and don't answer

680
00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:08,560
Speaker 1: to anyone. You should even be answering to us at

681
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:11,280
Speaker 1: this scenario. You need to go funk this guy. You

682
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:15,720
Speaker 1: need to get perspective. That's why wrong, I think. Listen,

683
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:17,840
Speaker 1: if you're in a small town, the drama probably is

684
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:19,560
Speaker 1: a lot bigger than what it is. You know what

685
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:21,600
Speaker 1: I mean, It seems a lot bigger than what it

686
00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:24,200
Speaker 1: actually is. And so I would go with that and

687
00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:27,040
Speaker 1: tell everybody just that you're you're not a little girl, like,

688
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:29,280
Speaker 1: You're gonna do what you want to do, and everyone

689
00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:32,520
Speaker 1: can weigh in when you ask for their opinion. That's true,

690
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:36,760
Speaker 1: That's very true. I hope that it happens organically. If

691
00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:39,520
Speaker 1: it does, and then it stays where it should be.

692
00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:42,080
Speaker 1: But yeah, well, good luck to you into the city

693
00:32:42,120 --> 00:32:45,600
Speaker 1: that you live in. Maybe I should just move. Maybe

694
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:47,520
Speaker 1: that that was gonna be my next suggestion. And when

695
00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 1: you're done with their move, when you've gone through all

696
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 1: those in their move, Yeah, when you've gone through the

697
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:56,080
Speaker 1: enough guys in that town, fucking leave it and just

698
00:32:56,120 --> 00:33:00,920
Speaker 1: go to a bigger city where you'll have options galore. Perfect.

699
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:03,600
Speaker 1: Hopefully by that time, I'll still have like the skin

700
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:08,320
Speaker 1: on my body after this woman lasers everything off. Well, yeah,

701
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:11,040
Speaker 1: you're not going back there, so don't worry. You'd rather

702
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:12,719
Speaker 1: deal with some extra hair on your beaver and then

703
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:19,720
Speaker 1: going back there, all right. By Jessica Have Fun by

704
00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:22,520
Speaker 1: Jessica is one of those girls that is just fun

705
00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:25,240
Speaker 1: to be around, and it's such an exploratory age. It's

706
00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:28,880
Speaker 1: also like everyone takes themselves away too seriously and That's

707
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:31,840
Speaker 1: the only thing I think that's advice to listen to

708
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:34,760
Speaker 1: from like a really early age is to not take

709
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:38,280
Speaker 1: yourself so seriously because that is the biggest hurdle between

710
00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:41,080
Speaker 1: people and they're fucking egos and the way that they're

711
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:43,920
Speaker 1: perceived and the way that they're coming across and the

712
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:47,400
Speaker 1: way that they're presenting themselves is ego. It's all about

713
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:50,840
Speaker 1: this like six cycle. So it's like step one, don't

714
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:54,240
Speaker 1: take yourself too seriously. Okay, you go to the bathroom too.

715
00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:57,880
Speaker 1: I'm sure you've stayed some underwear. Okay, Well, this is

716
00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:00,080
Speaker 1: a golden opportunity for us to get my breath the

717
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:02,600
Speaker 1: Roy on the phone. So we're gonna call Roy and

718
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:05,960
Speaker 1: he doesn't know what's happening, because you know, what's the

719
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:08,320
Speaker 1: point of explaining it. I can't wait to see him

720
00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:11,440
Speaker 1: to reiterate he's not asking her advice, but you know

721
00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:14,040
Speaker 1: this is going to be unsolicited advice and we just

722
00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:18,000
Speaker 1: need to get yes. Thank you, Hi Roy boy? Are

723
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:22,400
Speaker 1: you guys doing Hi? Roy? Roy? Your camera screen is

724
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:27,640
Speaker 1: so clean? Sorry, can you wipe it with something? It's

725
00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:30,279
Speaker 1: like very opaque where you are. Actually, I would love

726
00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:32,040
Speaker 1: for that filter to be on us because he looks

727
00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:35,680
Speaker 1: just very smooth. Okay, so I'm gonna showing his house.

728
00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:37,960
Speaker 1: I can go upstairs and do the wipe it down

729
00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:40,080
Speaker 1: if you need me to wipe it down. But my

730
00:34:40,239 --> 00:34:43,680
Speaker 1: internet went out, so that's why I'm over here. Okay, Well,

731
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:46,120
Speaker 1: does she have a computer cloth? Maybe I'd like to

732
00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:50,040
Speaker 1: see you a little bit more crisply. Okay, okay, great,

733
00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:53,360
Speaker 1: I'll give him some background. Okay, up Roy is a

734
00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:55,759
Speaker 1: hot mass of our family. He's kind of like, you know,

735
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:57,760
Speaker 1: the baby of the family, even though he's the oldest.

736
00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:00,480
Speaker 1: So we sent him once about to call a couple

737
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:02,200
Speaker 1: of years ago to get his life sorted out. He

738
00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:04,480
Speaker 1: went to live on an island and pull out. My

739
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:06,359
Speaker 1: sister got him a job. Somebody she went to law

740
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:09,400
Speaker 1: school with owns a resort. So he's a chef, and

741
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:11,759
Speaker 1: he went to pull out. He lived here for a

742
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:14,359
Speaker 1: few years and kind of you right with me, and

743
00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:16,640
Speaker 1: it was you know, it turns it got pretty hectic,

744
00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:20,400
Speaker 1: you know, irresponsibility, having girls at the house who were

745
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:22,600
Speaker 1: asking for pictures in my kitchen at seven am in

746
00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:25,520
Speaker 1: the morning. Things like that kept happening. So anyway, so

747
00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:28,239
Speaker 1: we were like, okay, Roy, he went to Palu, this

748
00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:34,200
Speaker 1: little island off the coast of Indonesia and Singapore, maybe,

749
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:36,960
Speaker 1: and he has been living there for the last I

750
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:38,560
Speaker 1: have no sense of time, So it could have been

751
00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:40,279
Speaker 1: four years. It could have been three years. It could

752
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:43,160
Speaker 1: have been six months. We'll find out when he gets back. Anyway,

753
00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:46,560
Speaker 1: he came home. He's done with that job, he's over it.

754
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:48,520
Speaker 1: He came back to live in New Jersey. He lives

755
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:51,640
Speaker 1: across the street from my sister Shawna, and he got

756
00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:54,759
Speaker 1: a job. But he's got a wife now who's in

757
00:35:54,800 --> 00:36:02,000
Speaker 1: the Philippines that he supports, and she has two children. Roy,

758
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:04,200
Speaker 1: hold on one second, I mean, wipe your face. Hold on,

759
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:11,840
Speaker 1: I heard everything he said. Perfect. Roy doesn't want advice

760
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:15,319
Speaker 1: from his family members, right, Is that correct? Roy? I

761
00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:17,719
Speaker 1: wouldn't say that. I mean, advice is good, but you've

762
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:19,560
Speaker 1: just got to take everything with the grain of salt.

763
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:22,040
Speaker 1: Some people know what they're talking about. Some people know

764
00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:25,400
Speaker 1: what they're Did you shave half of your mustache today? No?

765
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:30,120
Speaker 1: Why one half looks shaved and one side doesn't. But

766
00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:33,440
Speaker 1: that's at least you're I think it's just the shadow

767
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:36,120
Speaker 1: on it. Okay, it's probably just the reflection anyway, Great,

768
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:38,319
Speaker 1: job cleaning it up. We still can't see you, Roy,

769
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:41,879
Speaker 1: Can you give Brandon the rundown you left for when

770
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:46,439
Speaker 1: I left for Palau in two fifteen after I left

771
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:50,000
Speaker 1: l A. Okay, Mom got me the job in Plow.

772
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:52,319
Speaker 1: She has a friend who she went to school with

773
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:57,319
Speaker 1: an Emory, and they own a restaurant Plow. So they

774
00:36:57,320 --> 00:36:59,040
Speaker 1: asked me to go there for three weeks and I

775
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:02,320
Speaker 1: went there for four or five years and got married.

776
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:05,520
Speaker 1: I did not get married. We are not married yet. Okay,

777
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:08,120
Speaker 1: Well that's good to know you. I thought you were married. No,

778
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:10,600
Speaker 1: we have to get married because I'm not allowed into

779
00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:13,799
Speaker 1: the Philippines with the virus thing unless I was. If

780
00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:15,440
Speaker 1: I was married, i'd be able to get in, but

781
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:18,040
Speaker 1: I'm not married, so I'm not able to get in. Okay,

782
00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:20,239
Speaker 1: So you're thinking about getting married just to get in

783
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:24,080
Speaker 1: because of COVID. Yeah, because that's a big mistake. Now

784
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:26,360
Speaker 1: I can't see I haven't seen her in eighteen months.

785
00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:28,680
Speaker 1: So and the last time he didn't see her for

786
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:30,239
Speaker 1: a period of time, Right, she had a baby with

787
00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:35,920
Speaker 1: someone else, right, that's correct. Yeah, but that was before

788
00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:39,880
Speaker 1: that was before we started going out. Okay, So explain

789
00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:42,719
Speaker 1: the dynamic with you and your wife? Are you are

790
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:46,280
Speaker 1: you engaged? I was in I was working in Palau.

791
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:48,160
Speaker 1: There's not much to do in Palau, so we go

792
00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:52,320
Speaker 1: to karaoke bars a lot. So there's waitresses who entertained

793
00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:56,359
Speaker 1: the customers in the karaoke bars. And I met her

794
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:59,480
Speaker 1: and I went in there. Almost right, I'm gonna interject

795
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:01,399
Speaker 1: with some question since as you set this up, when

796
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:05,320
Speaker 1: you say entertained, do you mean like entertain or sing

797
00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:08,359
Speaker 1: at karaoke? And they sing, They do a lot of

798
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:12,000
Speaker 1: stuff they do, you know, favors and like that. But

799
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:16,239
Speaker 1: it depends. I'm still super clear if I keep going.

800
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:18,760
Speaker 1: I told you this is a tricky cave. It depends

801
00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:22,520
Speaker 1: on the girl. She was a sweet and I liked her,

802
00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 1: and I walked into the bar. The first time I

803
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:27,560
Speaker 1: met her, she was sitting down behind the bar. There

804
00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:30,719
Speaker 1: was no customers in the bar, and I sat down.

805
00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:32,719
Speaker 1: I wandered to drink, and she was she had her

806
00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:34,719
Speaker 1: head down and she was just behind the bar in

807
00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:37,359
Speaker 1: a chair and she didn't say anything to me. And

808
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:39,520
Speaker 1: for like ten minutes and I'm sitting there, I'm like,

809
00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:41,399
Speaker 1: So I grabbed a piece of popcorn and then threw

810
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:43,640
Speaker 1: it out her head and then she looked up and

811
00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:45,480
Speaker 1: she slipped up and she smiled at me. And that

812
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:49,360
Speaker 1: was that was it, That was the start, that was

813
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:51,759
Speaker 1: the fire that lit the candle. I met her at

814
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:54,280
Speaker 1: the karaoke bar. We went out for a couple of times,

815
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:57,600
Speaker 1: and then she wanted she wanted me to be boyfriend

816
00:38:57,640 --> 00:39:00,000
Speaker 1: and girlfriend with her, and I'm like, if you're working here,

817
00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:02,759
Speaker 1: I can't be boyfriend and girlfriend with you because I

818
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 1: don't like going out with the guys. We didn't know

819
00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:08,759
Speaker 1: what she was going to get up to, right, and

820
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:12,200
Speaker 1: she said, okay, that's it and no more, no more

821
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:15,759
Speaker 1: for you, and she went out with another guy and

822
00:39:15,840 --> 00:39:18,799
Speaker 1: she got pregnant, and then she went back to the Philippines.

823
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:21,160
Speaker 1: So we didn't talk for like six months. And then

824
00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:23,400
Speaker 1: six months later I called her, see what's up? And

825
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:30,800
Speaker 1: she had a baby and she was in six months.

826
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:33,120
Speaker 1: She's an easy bake oven. How did she have a baby?

827
00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:37,960
Speaker 1: Pinots are very right, they're very there. So they only

828
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:41,840
Speaker 1: have six months pregnancies. Okay, Well you don't believe in

829
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:44,600
Speaker 1: birth control, okay. And so the other guy was just

830
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:46,960
Speaker 1: to clarify. The other guy was a customer, was a

831
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:50,440
Speaker 1: karaoke bar, yeah, okay, So he was a customer at

832
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:52,279
Speaker 1: the karaoke bar that she had a baby with, and

833
00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:55,880
Speaker 1: that you're now the father too, correct, that's correct. I

834
00:39:55,880 --> 00:39:58,719
Speaker 1: am the stepfather of two of them. Yeah okay, okay, Well,

835
00:39:58,719 --> 00:40:00,840
Speaker 1: but you're not the stepfather, Roy, because you're not married.

836
00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:03,840
Speaker 1: That's true. But I am the step step what you

837
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:07,239
Speaker 1: call it, whatever it is. You're a father figure, that boyfriend,

838
00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:11,520
Speaker 1: the acting paternal figure in their life. Yes, okay. So

839
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:15,640
Speaker 1: are you formally engaged to this woman. No, I'm not

840
00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:21,319
Speaker 1: formally engaged. Nothing with Roy is formal. Okay. Well, yeah,

841
00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:23,840
Speaker 1: so Roy told me this story. Obviously over the summer

842
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:26,920
Speaker 1: we got to see each other, and I thought, you

843
00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:29,440
Speaker 1: know what, good for you? He told me how he

844
00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:31,959
Speaker 1: met her, the karaoke bar story, and you know, years

845
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:33,799
Speaker 1: ago I would have really laid into him and been like,

846
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:36,160
Speaker 1: what are you thinking? But I want him to be happy,

847
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:38,279
Speaker 1: and he makes her happy. So who gives a ship?

848
00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:40,600
Speaker 1: What the funk she does? And I'm sick of judging

849
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:43,000
Speaker 1: women for doing stuff anyway, Well that's all we want.

850
00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:46,919
Speaker 1: So we're laughing. But you're happy. I'm very happy. Yeah.

851
00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:49,200
Speaker 1: I wish she could be here, you know, or I

852
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:52,080
Speaker 1: could be in the Philippines instead of this long distance stuff.

853
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:54,400
Speaker 1: But that leads me to my next question, what is

854
00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:56,799
Speaker 1: the plan? Would she move here? How serious is this

855
00:40:56,840 --> 00:41:00,400
Speaker 1: if she's still gallivanting alone through the Philippine with her

856
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:07,759
Speaker 1: two kids. Don't say gavanting, Brandon, Brandon, what Brandon, that's

857
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 1: very You're now being judging. No I'm gallivanting. No, no, No,

858
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:18,960
Speaker 1: that's judgment. She's first of all, when I was in

859
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:21,759
Speaker 1: I built a house, or I didn't build it. Her

860
00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 1: father built a house in the Philippines, a simple, small house.

861
00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:28,760
Speaker 1: It was bucks And they live in the house now

862
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:32,000
Speaker 1: with their parents and their sisters and all that. So

863
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:35,520
Speaker 1: there's like nine people in the house. So she's not

864
00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:38,040
Speaker 1: She takes care of the two kids. She's very loyal.

865
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:41,160
Speaker 1: She's a sweet girl. She reminds me a lot of mom, Like,

866
00:41:41,239 --> 00:41:45,399
Speaker 1: she's super super super sweet. Does everything. She doesn't go out,

867
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:48,200
Speaker 1: She doesn't go about drinking or anything like that. You know,

868
00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:50,479
Speaker 1: she does when I go there just to have fun.

869
00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:53,640
Speaker 1: But when I'm not there, she doesn't do that. She's

870
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 1: very um experiened. So could she move to the US,

871
00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:00,839
Speaker 1: could you guys form a real life together? Yeah, she

872
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,000
Speaker 1: can move, but we have to get her visa thing done,

873
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:05,919
Speaker 1: which is working, but it's not ready yet. She's only

874
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:07,920
Speaker 1: been to Pullow, so she's only allowed to go to

875
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:11,000
Speaker 1: like three countries and one of them is Pullow. And

876
00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:15,840
Speaker 1: I think she's allowed to go to Japan and Vietnam,

877
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:18,520
Speaker 1: but she's not allowed to come to the US. And

878
00:42:18,560 --> 00:42:21,279
Speaker 1: so how does it work when if you were to

879
00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:23,600
Speaker 1: meet someone, would you have to marry her there to

880
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:26,319
Speaker 1: bring her back? How would the marriage work in terms

881
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:28,480
Speaker 1: of getting her here? You better off to marry here

882
00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:32,279
Speaker 1: and then we can work it out in the Philippines.

883
00:42:32,280 --> 00:42:35,040
Speaker 1: And once you get married, that's it. There's no divorce

884
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:37,839
Speaker 1: in the Philippines. Well, that's not gonna work out, more

885
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:41,120
Speaker 1: recognizable if you get a US marriage rather than can

886
00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:43,440
Speaker 1: she not come to the US with the kids just

887
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:46,680
Speaker 1: to get me married? And she can come like an

888
00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:50,120
Speaker 1: F like Glenn's like Olga did on an F third

889
00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 1: F H one N one. I'm not sure. I think

890
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:57,719
Speaker 1: that's the bird flu. Actually we did that, so but

891
00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:01,040
Speaker 1: that was years ago. So exchange true. Yeah, I bet

892
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:03,320
Speaker 1: you would be easier to bring her over here, marry

893
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:05,959
Speaker 1: her in the States, and then she becomes a US

894
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:08,560
Speaker 1: citizen by way of marriage. I think I can get

895
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:11,040
Speaker 1: us three months thing where she's here for ninety days

896
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:13,480
Speaker 1: and get married and then at all. Yeah, and then

897
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:16,279
Speaker 1: so she would come over with the kids. No, she

898
00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:19,040
Speaker 1: would come over by herself, get married, then go back.

899
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:23,680
Speaker 1: Uh huh Okay, Well, normally I would step in and

900
00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:25,560
Speaker 1: do all this stuff for him, but I have a

901
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:28,880
Speaker 1: handsoff approach now to my family. Let them figure it

902
00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:31,520
Speaker 1: out and if they need me to lask right personally,

903
00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:33,439
Speaker 1: I hope that it works. I hope that she's able

904
00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:34,759
Speaker 1: to come over. I hope that you guys can start

905
00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:36,560
Speaker 1: your life together, because what you're doing now is no life.

906
00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:39,440
Speaker 1: Like there's no talking about a well, Roy, you have

907
00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:41,080
Speaker 1: a life, but you want a life with your wife

908
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:45,080
Speaker 1: and your kids. And what the longestance in eighteen month intervals.

909
00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:48,120
Speaker 1: I mean, that's no way to build a relationship. And

910
00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:50,160
Speaker 1: no matter how long you're together, I mean, relationships are

911
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:54,040
Speaker 1: constant work. And so we laugh about it. All we

912
00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:55,840
Speaker 1: want in life is for people that we love to

913
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:58,360
Speaker 1: be happy. Yeah, my brother to be happy, and she

914
00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:00,719
Speaker 1: makes him happy. So we have to figure out. Roy,

915
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:02,920
Speaker 1: you have to put all your efforts towards getting her

916
00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:06,400
Speaker 1: over here with the visa and getting that ship sorted out. No,

917
00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:08,160
Speaker 1: but yeah, yeah, this is a person who didn't have

918
00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:11,000
Speaker 1: health insurance. Now he does well, yeah, but not because

919
00:44:11,040 --> 00:44:13,600
Speaker 1: of himself. So if he has to take the initiative,

920
00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:16,560
Speaker 1: you know, instead of me taking the initiative. Is Shawna

921
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:21,800
Speaker 1: there with you, Roy, Shanna, we're gonna share about that's fun.

922
00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:25,000
Speaker 1: Do you and your fiance what's her name again? Maurice

923
00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:28,239
Speaker 1: M A R I Z Marie. Do you guys have

924
00:44:28,320 --> 00:44:31,520
Speaker 1: phone sex? We do not have phone sex. We joke

925
00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:34,160
Speaker 1: about it, but we don't. We don't. There's no penetration.

926
00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:37,680
Speaker 1: Thanks for clarifying that. Roy wouldn't be right because it's

927
00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:40,319
Speaker 1: phone sex. No, well, right, so I don't even know

928
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:43,200
Speaker 1: what he's talking about. But anyway, I mean, I guess

929
00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:45,360
Speaker 1: what is the moral of this story? I wanted you

930
00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:47,759
Speaker 1: to weigh in for him that it was an outside list.

931
00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:51,840
Speaker 1: I honestly think that as long as Royce happy, healthy

932
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:54,560
Speaker 1: and yes, health insurance, So check those two boxes, that

933
00:44:54,719 --> 00:44:57,919
Speaker 1: she's happy and healthy, and that there's consistent communication about

934
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:00,160
Speaker 1: moving forward like that's the one thing I wouldn't want

935
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:02,960
Speaker 1: either of you to get too comfortable in the dynamic

936
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:05,839
Speaker 1: that you're currently in to where nothing changes, because again

937
00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:09,120
Speaker 1: that's not a real relationship in terms of the process

938
00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:11,319
Speaker 1: of building a life together. So as long as there's

939
00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:13,319
Speaker 1: a movement on getting her here or getting you there,

940
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:16,839
Speaker 1: I think you keep doing it right. The thing is,

941
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:19,719
Speaker 1: with the COVID everything everything slowed down, so I'm not

942
00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:22,480
Speaker 1: even allowed into the Philippines. Only Filipinos are allowed into

943
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:24,440
Speaker 1: the Philippines, so it's tough to get in and now,

944
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:26,960
Speaker 1: but I think you should focus Roy on bringing her

945
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:30,359
Speaker 1: to America because anyone can travel into America, you can

946
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:32,840
Speaker 1: get her here, So focus your energy on getting the

947
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:36,640
Speaker 1: visa that's appropriate for that for her. Okay, Well that

948
00:45:36,719 --> 00:45:39,480
Speaker 1: was anticlimactic and I well it's still in process, so

949
00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:41,520
Speaker 1: you really need to keep us posted, Roy, I would

950
00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:44,960
Speaker 1: like actual updates on what's going on. Okay, what is

951
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:46,680
Speaker 1: the name of the podcast? By the way, it's called

952
00:45:46,719 --> 00:45:49,640
Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea where people call in and ask advice questions

953
00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:52,560
Speaker 1: to Brandon and me. And we're a couple's counseling team.

954
00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:54,440
Speaker 1: So if you need any help with Maurice when she

955
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:57,759
Speaker 1: gets to town, you know who to call, are you guys,

956
00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:00,640
Speaker 1: specially in couples counseling? Well, we're of the couple, but

957
00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:03,640
Speaker 1: we also specialize in other couples, so it doesn't really matter.

958
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:06,200
Speaker 1: You could be single or a couple, or a threesome

959
00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:09,920
Speaker 1: or a throuble and we're here. We handle all day. Amax.

960
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:14,279
Speaker 1: Well congratulations, Well, congratulations do you. Roy? Looks like you

961
00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:16,839
Speaker 1: got yourself a bride and it's going to happen any

962
00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:19,680
Speaker 1: day now. Yeah, I'm looking forward to that. Well, I

963
00:46:19,719 --> 00:46:22,200
Speaker 1: can't wait to make a toast any wedding. Yeah, we will,

964
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:30,120
Speaker 1: don't worry, Okay, love you by Roy. You. I love

965
00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:32,439
Speaker 1: every one of your family members because they all bring

966
00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:35,080
Speaker 1: something to the table, like something. Here's the thing, though,

967
00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:37,160
Speaker 1: you dealt with Roy's health insurance, so you know what

968
00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:39,239
Speaker 1: I'm dealing with. With him getting a visa for his

969
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:42,359
Speaker 1: potential wife isn't going to happen. I mean, I don't

970
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:44,040
Speaker 1: want to say that because I want to believe in

971
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:46,120
Speaker 1: my brother, but I just know his habits. But it

972
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:48,920
Speaker 1: will speak so highly of Roy if it does get done,

973
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:51,239
Speaker 1: because it means like that was something worse. Will be

974
00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:53,920
Speaker 1: attracted to Roy if you could that. You don't have

975
00:46:53,960 --> 00:46:55,719
Speaker 1: many other male prospects right now, so maybe you can

976
00:46:55,719 --> 00:46:57,160
Speaker 1: get with your brother. I'll get him to break up

977
00:46:57,160 --> 00:46:59,200
Speaker 1: with his fiance so I can date him. That sounds

978
00:46:59,239 --> 00:47:01,719
Speaker 1: like a Lifetime of old movie. You know who has

979
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:06,080
Speaker 1: a great podcast about Lifetime original movies, Sarah Colonna. Is

980
00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:08,560
Speaker 1: it about lifetime marginal only about life? She and her

981
00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:10,680
Speaker 1: friend it's really funny. Well, I'd like to pitch you

982
00:47:10,680 --> 00:47:12,640
Speaker 1: a project right now then, because I would love to

983
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:15,320
Speaker 1: write a Lifetime original movie called Murders in the Midwest,

984
00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:17,719
Speaker 1: And it's all about this guy in my hometown who

985
00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:20,160
Speaker 1: was embezzling grant money that was supposed to go to

986
00:47:20,239 --> 00:47:23,160
Speaker 1: Native American students to go to college. He was embezzling it,

987
00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:25,279
Speaker 1: and everyone in town knew what was going on. And

988
00:47:25,280 --> 00:47:27,360
Speaker 1: he lived in a small, timillion dollar mansion. He built

989
00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:30,319
Speaker 1: a gymnastics studio. No one in town does gymnastics, small

990
00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:35,000
Speaker 1: town of people, and when it could have been who knows.

991
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:37,239
Speaker 1: So turns out the state found out what he was doing.

992
00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:39,719
Speaker 1: He went to a meeting where they basically said, like, hey,

993
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:42,480
Speaker 1: we've backtracked all the logs, we know what's going on.

994
00:47:42,840 --> 00:47:45,240
Speaker 1: He went home, he hit a safe, told his son's

995
00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:47,840
Speaker 1: girlfriend that if anything happened to them, like you know,

996
00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:50,480
Speaker 1: she needed to find the safe and killed his entire

997
00:47:50,480 --> 00:47:54,400
Speaker 1: family that night, burned the house down with everyone in it. Yeah. God,

998
00:47:54,840 --> 00:47:59,080
Speaker 1: that sounds like a Lifetime original movie. Totally totally hort

999
00:47:59,239 --> 00:48:01,879
Speaker 1: phonic company. In Contact with Someone, Well, that's a really

1000
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:04,080
Speaker 1: our lifetime movie is based on real A lot of

1001
00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:07,239
Speaker 1: them are. My favorite is this seem like they are. Well,

1002
00:48:07,320 --> 00:48:09,719
Speaker 1: my favorite Lifetime Original movie is this one called She's

1003
00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:12,200
Speaker 1: Too Young, and it's about this girl who everyone in

1004
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:14,799
Speaker 1: high school is having sex and she gets Syphliss and

1005
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:18,200
Speaker 1: her mom is Marcia Gay Harden, who I fucking have

1006
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:21,840
Speaker 1: a love hate relationship with. Sometimes she's on screen and

1007
00:48:21,880 --> 00:48:24,320
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, like you're like the modern

1008
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:27,080
Speaker 1: day Stoker Channing. And then other times I'm like, please,

1009
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:31,960
Speaker 1: where is Dr Channing? She's another fucking awesome person. Gay's

1010
00:48:32,040 --> 00:48:36,640
Speaker 1: love Stoker Channing and Sally Field. Yeah, yeah, and Francis McDorman.

1011
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:39,520
Speaker 1: Stoker Channing reminds me a little bit of Francis McDorman.

1012
00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:42,600
Speaker 1: I'm not sure why. Probably because of that no bullshit attitude.

1013
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:45,960
Speaker 1: It's hot. It's hot. It's hot when people have confidence, right,

1014
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:48,040
Speaker 1: No soccer Channing was a good fucking time back in

1015
00:48:48,080 --> 00:48:51,799
Speaker 1: the day. Oh yeah, can you imagine they would have.

1016
00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:54,640
Speaker 1: I'm glad that they are still alive because if they

1017
00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:56,000
Speaker 1: did hang out, I don't know how they made it

1018
00:48:56,040 --> 00:48:59,319
Speaker 1: out of that. That would have been a lot of quayludes, right,

1019
00:48:59,440 --> 00:49:02,279
Speaker 1: But if survive that period of time. That's why I'm

1020
00:49:02,280 --> 00:49:04,920
Speaker 1: still alive for surviving my period of time, which can

1021
00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:06,760
Speaker 1: you imagine if I had been alive during the sixties

1022
00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:11,280
Speaker 1: or the seventies. Seventies, They mean, they gave you permission

1023
00:49:11,320 --> 00:49:14,799
Speaker 1: to behave bad right, thank you ladies. Oh man, Roy

1024
00:49:14,840 --> 00:49:16,680
Speaker 1: has a lot to digest after that. Zoom. I think

1025
00:49:16,680 --> 00:49:19,879
Speaker 1: he got more than he intended. Well, yeah, he gets, Yes,

1026
00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:22,720
Speaker 1: that's that's true. But he enjoys it and he's always

1027
00:49:22,719 --> 00:49:24,759
Speaker 1: a good sport about it. I love my brother Roy. Yeah,

1028
00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:26,880
Speaker 1: he really took that in stride. Yeah, And I also,

1029
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:29,000
Speaker 1: you know, like I do want him to just be happy.

1030
00:49:29,160 --> 00:49:31,920
Speaker 1: So you know, who's anyone to tell anyone who to

1031
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:34,719
Speaker 1: be with. It's like we are the last generation. Well

1032
00:49:34,760 --> 00:49:38,319
Speaker 1: I am, sweetheart, I'm the last generation of anyone that

1033
00:49:38,320 --> 00:49:43,160
Speaker 1: will ever have to learn to accept other people's choices.

1034
00:49:43,640 --> 00:49:47,360
Speaker 1: But you like, in terms of transgender and gay and

1035
00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:50,680
Speaker 1: bisexual and binary and non binary and and learning all

1036
00:49:50,719 --> 00:49:52,560
Speaker 1: these things like no one will ever have to learn

1037
00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:55,640
Speaker 1: this again. I mean, but it is a learning process

1038
00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:58,080
Speaker 1: for a prolonged amount of time. So like you will

1039
00:49:58,120 --> 00:50:00,480
Speaker 1: make mistakes, you will have to readdres us it and

1040
00:50:00,520 --> 00:50:02,920
Speaker 1: it's again you have to give people kind of the

1041
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:06,360
Speaker 1: leeway and ability to make a mistake and still move forward.

1042
00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:09,080
Speaker 1: So who knows who you'll end up with? I keep

1043
00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:11,560
Speaker 1: telling you, and I will stand by this. I would

1044
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:13,799
Speaker 1: like you to be a late life lesbian. Well that's

1045
00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:17,080
Speaker 1: your desire, Brandon, I know. All right, Well, let's take

1046
00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:18,839
Speaker 1: a quick break and we'll come back to that. And

1047
00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:22,600
Speaker 1: our last emission is really going to thrill you. Oh,

1048
00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:27,960
Speaker 1: thrilled me, thrill you. We'll see about that. I know

1049
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,800
Speaker 1: how much you love an affair in that type of

1050
00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:34,959
Speaker 1: interaction assessment. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I like to hear about

1051
00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:37,840
Speaker 1: these types of things. Our last emission is about an affair. Okay,

1052
00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:40,520
Speaker 1: they right, Dear Chelsea. I'm twenty one years old, living

1053
00:50:40,520 --> 00:50:42,239
Speaker 1: at home for the next two years to finish my

1054
00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:44,560
Speaker 1: degree over quarantine. I found out that my dad is

1055
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:47,120
Speaker 1: having an affair. I was preparing to tell my mom

1056
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:49,200
Speaker 1: when my sister told me that my mom was also

1057
00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:52,839
Speaker 1: cheating on my dad with our neighbor who is also married. Right,

1058
00:50:53,239 --> 00:50:56,520
Speaker 1: so there are a lot of cheating spouses in the scenario. Okay, wow,

1059
00:50:56,760 --> 00:50:59,239
Speaker 1: this is like desperate. How's why? This is like days

1060
00:50:59,280 --> 00:51:01,600
Speaker 1: of our lives? Like Sam through the hourglass. This is

1061
00:51:01,640 --> 00:51:04,719
Speaker 1: exciting stuff. Okay, we were planning on telling our mom

1062
00:51:04,760 --> 00:51:07,480
Speaker 1: about the affair, but decided against it after her cheating

1063
00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:10,120
Speaker 1: was discovered. My sister is older and has since moved out.

1064
00:51:10,160 --> 00:51:13,839
Speaker 1: But I'm finding myself feeling overwhelmed. He lies every day

1065
00:51:14,040 --> 00:51:15,719
Speaker 1: that he works late, but I know he's at his

1066
00:51:15,760 --> 00:51:17,719
Speaker 1: mistress's house. I know that because I broke into his

1067
00:51:17,760 --> 00:51:20,080
Speaker 1: phone to share his location with me. As far as

1068
00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:22,000
Speaker 1: I know, my mom's affairs over now, but it has

1069
00:51:22,040 --> 00:51:24,400
Speaker 1: been on and off for ten years. There are a

1070
00:51:24,480 --> 00:51:27,839
Speaker 1: lot of complexities here. My father's affair has been going

1071
00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:30,400
Speaker 1: on for years too. I had a seemingly normal and

1072
00:51:30,440 --> 00:51:32,480
Speaker 1: healthy family before I found out about everything, and it

1073
00:51:32,520 --> 00:51:35,000
Speaker 1: makes me sad that I can't completely open up to

1074
00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:37,400
Speaker 1: my mom. My dad is trashed for other reasons, but

1075
00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:40,400
Speaker 1: my mom is an amazing person and mother. I'm planning

1076
00:51:40,400 --> 00:51:42,240
Speaker 1: to live with them for the next two years. Should

1077
00:51:42,239 --> 00:51:44,480
Speaker 1: I just avoid my dad and stick it out? Or

1078
00:51:44,600 --> 00:51:48,200
Speaker 1: is living here not worth the trauma? This is I

1079
00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:50,319
Speaker 1: have some thoughts on this. What are your thoughts? Why

1080
00:51:50,320 --> 00:51:52,399
Speaker 1: don't you take it? Why don't you go first? Well,

1081
00:51:52,440 --> 00:51:54,920
Speaker 1: I just, first of all, I think that relationships and

1082
00:51:54,960 --> 00:51:58,920
Speaker 1: marriages are much more complex than we are prepared to

1083
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:01,520
Speaker 1: understand from a young age. So you have this idea

1084
00:52:01,560 --> 00:52:04,239
Speaker 1: and this archetype of what your family life should look like,

1085
00:52:04,280 --> 00:52:06,719
Speaker 1: what your parents how they should interact with each other

1086
00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:09,239
Speaker 1: and the outside world. But a lot of times our

1087
00:52:09,280 --> 00:52:12,080
Speaker 1: expectations are not going to be met because of these complexities.

1088
00:52:12,120 --> 00:52:14,919
Speaker 1: Like maybe they have an agreement in place. You don't

1089
00:52:14,960 --> 00:52:18,640
Speaker 1: know the interworkings of your parents marriage. So I think

1090
00:52:18,680 --> 00:52:20,479
Speaker 1: you need to give both of them a little bit

1091
00:52:20,560 --> 00:52:24,200
Speaker 1: more compassion in this because you don't know why they're

1092
00:52:24,200 --> 00:52:26,120
Speaker 1: still together, like if they're still love there. I think

1093
00:52:26,120 --> 00:52:29,600
Speaker 1: that there are a lot of elements to any affair.

1094
00:52:29,719 --> 00:52:33,160
Speaker 1: There are extenuating circumstances on both sides. I would say,

1095
00:52:33,280 --> 00:52:35,760
Speaker 1: what do you think, Well, I would give your parents

1096
00:52:35,800 --> 00:52:38,000
Speaker 1: a little bit more wiggle room. You just said, like

1097
00:52:38,080 --> 00:52:40,120
Speaker 1: you judge, you have such hatred, You're so angry, You're

1098
00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:43,000
Speaker 1: so angry, Like why you don't know what their arrangement

1099
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:45,160
Speaker 1: is you don't know what they've been through together, You

1100
00:52:45,200 --> 00:52:48,560
Speaker 1: don't know the nuances between their relationship. They might just

1101
00:52:48,600 --> 00:52:51,000
Speaker 1: be hiding it from you and not each other. But

1102
00:52:51,360 --> 00:52:53,600
Speaker 1: I do think it's an opportunity, if you really care

1103
00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:55,840
Speaker 1: about the well being and health of your family, like

1104
00:52:56,520 --> 00:52:58,960
Speaker 1: to sit down and actually have an open conversation with

1105
00:52:58,960 --> 00:53:01,520
Speaker 1: both of them altogether, like a family meeting, Like you

1106
00:53:01,560 --> 00:53:03,799
Speaker 1: and your sister have all the information you need to

1107
00:53:03,800 --> 00:53:06,840
Speaker 1: know that you're living in a dysfunctional house or it

1108
00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:09,960
Speaker 1: could feel dysfunctional. It might not be, but it sounds

1109
00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:13,240
Speaker 1: like it is dysfunctional and confronting both of your parents,

1110
00:53:13,360 --> 00:53:16,000
Speaker 1: and like, why not do that? You know, that's a

1111
00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:18,200
Speaker 1: good way to participate in this, because yeah, if you

1112
00:53:18,239 --> 00:53:21,120
Speaker 1: stay there and you don't address the situation head on,

1113
00:53:21,680 --> 00:53:23,759
Speaker 1: I think you're going to get very very angry and

1114
00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:26,080
Speaker 1: very resentful, and then that's just going to cause more

1115
00:53:26,080 --> 00:53:29,000
Speaker 1: and more drama. I think you could also, though, potentially,

1116
00:53:29,320 --> 00:53:32,320
Speaker 1: just start investing some energy and time into your parents

1117
00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:34,480
Speaker 1: separately to kind of figure out where they're at in life.

1118
00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:38,120
Speaker 1: You know, if your parents are both happy separately, how

1119
00:53:38,160 --> 00:53:41,080
Speaker 1: they're feeling in these situations. I think as you get older,

1120
00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:44,360
Speaker 1: you have to remove yourself from that parent child relationship.

1121
00:53:44,400 --> 00:53:46,440
Speaker 1: And if you're really curious about something like this, you know,

1122
00:53:46,520 --> 00:53:50,000
Speaker 1: have in depth conversations. Maybe present it to your parents

1123
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:52,520
Speaker 1: as if you're going through something similar, see what their

1124
00:53:52,560 --> 00:53:54,719
Speaker 1: take is on it. That you're dating someone or I

1125
00:53:54,719 --> 00:53:56,160
Speaker 1: don't know, you know what you really have going on,

1126
00:53:56,239 --> 00:53:58,360
Speaker 1: but you're dating someone and they wanted to cheat on

1127
00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:01,279
Speaker 1: their spouse or their part there with you, And I

1128
00:54:01,320 --> 00:54:03,800
Speaker 1: think that there are ways to kind of get answers

1129
00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:07,160
Speaker 1: before addressing it with them, to get a sense of

1130
00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:10,560
Speaker 1: kind of where they're at. Yeah. Yeah, I definitely don't

1131
00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:12,240
Speaker 1: think you can just stay there and not saying anything.

1132
00:54:12,320 --> 00:54:13,799
Speaker 1: And I think you have to look at saying something

1133
00:54:13,800 --> 00:54:17,160
Speaker 1: as an investment into your like families future. You know,

1134
00:54:17,360 --> 00:54:19,120
Speaker 1: this could be a huge turning point for all of

1135
00:54:19,120 --> 00:54:21,160
Speaker 1: you guys, or they could get divorced and decide that

1136
00:54:21,200 --> 00:54:23,640
Speaker 1: they are not You know that they were staying together

1137
00:54:23,680 --> 00:54:25,600
Speaker 1: for the children and now that both of you guys know,

1138
00:54:25,840 --> 00:54:28,799
Speaker 1: it's no longer a healthy relationship, which is also a

1139
00:54:28,800 --> 00:54:31,239
Speaker 1: healthy decision. You know, if they were staying together for you,

1140
00:54:31,360 --> 00:54:33,160
Speaker 1: like to let them know, Hey, guys, we both know

1141
00:54:33,200 --> 00:54:36,080
Speaker 1: that you're both having sex with other people, so you know,

1142
00:54:36,200 --> 00:54:39,440
Speaker 1: like the party's over, well not parties over, but like

1143
00:54:39,719 --> 00:54:42,799
Speaker 1: pressure is off. Maybe just like the illusion is gone.

1144
00:54:42,880 --> 00:54:45,400
Speaker 1: We're not under some illusion that you're in a happy marriage,

1145
00:54:45,440 --> 00:54:47,279
Speaker 1: So why are you together and what are we doing

1146
00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:50,320
Speaker 1: as a family. I think that's totally reasonable and actually

1147
00:54:50,320 --> 00:54:52,520
Speaker 1: really responsible, and I would be really proud of myself

1148
00:54:52,560 --> 00:54:54,400
Speaker 1: if I had done something like that with my family.

1149
00:54:54,680 --> 00:54:56,800
Speaker 1: I mean, my parents weren't having sex with other people,

1150
00:54:56,880 --> 00:55:01,080
Speaker 1: but well maybe they were, who knows exactly. I hope

1151
00:55:01,080 --> 00:55:03,320
Speaker 1: they were. Well I hope my mother was anyway, because

1152
00:55:03,320 --> 00:55:06,200
Speaker 1: if she had sex only with my father that would

1153
00:55:06,200 --> 00:55:08,520
Speaker 1: be sad. Well, let us know what's going on. Please

1154
00:55:08,520 --> 00:55:10,319
Speaker 1: give us an update on if you do have a

1155
00:55:10,320 --> 00:55:12,359
Speaker 1: conversation with them, if you find anything else out. I mean,

1156
00:55:12,360 --> 00:55:14,360
Speaker 1: this is pretty fucking juicy, so I don't want to

1157
00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:16,120
Speaker 1: lose track of this story. Yeah, I know, this is

1158
00:55:16,120 --> 00:55:18,000
Speaker 1: probably one of the juiciest stories we've had so far,

1159
00:55:18,040 --> 00:55:20,640
Speaker 1: so please keep in touch. I would also like to

1160
00:55:20,719 --> 00:55:24,200
Speaker 1: encourage our listeners who have a fair problems or aware

1161
00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:27,239
Speaker 1: of affairs that are happening, or in an affair or

1162
00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:30,399
Speaker 1: having relationship problems with their partner, like you can call

1163
00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:32,560
Speaker 1: in together, you can write in together if you want

1164
00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:36,160
Speaker 1: to receive our counseling as a couple. I'm very good

1165
00:55:36,160 --> 00:55:38,040
Speaker 1: at that too, and I think you think you probably

1166
00:55:38,040 --> 00:55:39,680
Speaker 1: are good at that too. Write it could be I've

1167
00:55:39,719 --> 00:55:42,239
Speaker 1: not tested it out yet, but I have. Yeah, I've

1168
00:55:42,280 --> 00:55:45,640
Speaker 1: done some couples counseling indirectly. But like you know, if

1169
00:55:45,680 --> 00:55:48,960
Speaker 1: you have a friendship that's in trauma, or you have

1170
00:55:49,040 --> 00:55:51,560
Speaker 1: a relationship that you know is in trouble, and you

1171
00:55:51,600 --> 00:55:53,279
Speaker 1: can get someone to agree to do it with you,

1172
00:55:53,320 --> 00:55:55,359
Speaker 1: we won't show your face unless you're comfortable with that.

1173
00:55:55,880 --> 00:55:57,239
Speaker 1: We don't have to do that. It can just be

1174
00:55:57,280 --> 00:55:59,000
Speaker 1: a phone call, it could be a private zoom, but

1175
00:55:59,239 --> 00:56:01,000
Speaker 1: just so you know, we're open to that. I think

1176
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:03,160
Speaker 1: that's where I thrive, sweetheart. I think that is where

1177
00:56:03,160 --> 00:56:05,799
Speaker 1: we thrive to. Actually, well, that's a wrap on this,

1178
00:56:05,920 --> 00:56:07,279
Speaker 1: so I don't know if there was a better way

1179
00:56:07,320 --> 00:56:10,560
Speaker 1: to go out. Wow, Okay, well shitsky doodle on that one.

1180
00:56:11,040 --> 00:56:17,880
Speaker 1: Um by Brandon. If you want any assistance with your partner,

1181
00:56:18,239 --> 00:56:21,680
Speaker 1: your best friend, really anything, you can write into Dear

1182
00:56:21,760 --> 00:56:25,520
Speaker 1: Chelsea Project at gmail dot com, Dear Chelsea Project at

1183
00:56:25,520 --> 00:56:27,759
Speaker 1: gmail dot com and just for you know, all the

1184
00:56:27,800 --> 00:56:30,040
Speaker 1: listeners who are listening to this episode today, just take

1185
00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:32,080
Speaker 1: some solace in the fact that Roy will not be

1186
00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:35,040
Speaker 1: giving you the advice I will, and Brandon will