WEBVTT - "I SMOKED CRACK WITH A STRANGER"

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<v Speaker 1>Hi, is this Corey?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, it is.

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<v Speaker 1>How are you doing, Corey?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm pretty good, man.

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<v Speaker 3>How are you?

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<v Speaker 4>Uh?

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<v Speaker 1>Man, I'm just a gecko on the computer. Corey. What's

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<v Speaker 1>what's going on with you?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, dude? Lately, I've just been doing the whole work thing.

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<v Speaker 2>Moved back home, d graduating. Yeah, you know, the whole

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<v Speaker 2>is just working, making that money.

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<v Speaker 1>You be back home after graduating, and how's how's being

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<v Speaker 1>at home?

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<v Speaker 5>Ah?

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<v Speaker 3>Good? Good, dude.

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<v Speaker 2>I moved back in looked like my my lifelong buddy

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<v Speaker 2>who I've you know, missed, especially being being gone for

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<v Speaker 2>for five years and stuff. So, uh, we're hanging out

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<v Speaker 2>and we're we're enjoying being to bachelors, you know, taking

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<v Speaker 2>on the world.

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<v Speaker 1>Mm hmm. Man, that's uh, that's cool. I know a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of people we we've talked to some people tonight

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<v Speaker 1>who are like trying to leave their hometown in search

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<v Speaker 1>of greater adventure. But you seem like you're very much

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<v Speaker 1>enjoying being being back with your with your homie and

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<v Speaker 1>your hometown.

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<v Speaker 2>Dude.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>And you know what's crazy is that like I moved

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<v Speaker 2>home back here where my parents did live, and my

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<v Speaker 2>parents moved across the country, and so so both my sisters.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'm like the only one of like my family

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<v Speaker 2>that is still in the hometown. But I'm still I'm

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<v Speaker 2>cool with that. It's it's comfortable, you know, And I

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<v Speaker 2>think in a couple of years I'm trying to like

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<v Speaker 2>do some like really bold traveling uh across uh across

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<v Speaker 2>the world and live in Europe or something like that.

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<v Speaker 2>But but for now, I'm just kind of relaxing.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, where in uh, where in the world do you

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<v Speaker 1>want to go?

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<v Speaker 6>See, dude?

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<v Speaker 2>So basically, lately I've been experiencing and toying with o'megal

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<v Speaker 2>to like practice socializing and learn about people, and man,

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<v Speaker 2>that's been a lot of fun. Like yesterday I talked

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<v Speaker 2>to an Irish dude. I talked to a Italian who

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<v Speaker 2>is like going to school in Scotland. He was really cool,

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<v Speaker 2>and he told me a lot about how cool the

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<v Speaker 2>Netherlands were and how I should go there, and how

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<v Speaker 2>I should go to Scotland because obviously he's going to

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<v Speaker 2>school there, so he thought it was really cool, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, there's so many places in Europe compared to

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<v Speaker 2>the States, that I think would be would be culturally

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<v Speaker 2>really cool to see.

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<v Speaker 1>Have you done a lot of traveling before in your life?

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<v Speaker 2>You know, my mom really really liked to travel, so

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<v Speaker 2>growing up, I've seen a lot of the Fifty States.

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<v Speaker 2>I really like Yellowstone. I've been to Hawaii like twice,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, likes there's a lot of places, the Black Hills,

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<v Speaker 2>even in uh, the Dakotas are super cool. But yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I've done I've done quite a bit of traveling, and

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<v Speaker 2>I haven't done as much as i'd like to in

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<v Speaker 2>my my young adult life.

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<v Speaker 1>And have you gone out of the country before?

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<v Speaker 2>Uh, you know, I don't think anything more interesting though,

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<v Speaker 2>I think like Mexico sometime before I would even remember,

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<v Speaker 2>and then maybe, uh, maybe I went to Canada at

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<v Speaker 2>some point, but no, nothing else.

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<v Speaker 1>Man, you know this is cool. We're about the same age,

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<v Speaker 1>it seems. And uh, you know, I'm I'm inspired by

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<v Speaker 1>you actually, because you seem like you have a very

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<v Speaker 1>much a lust for life, Like I can really hear

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<v Speaker 1>it in your voice, you know you And I'm projecting

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<v Speaker 1>a whole bunch of stuff on you right now, but

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<v Speaker 1>I really like the way that you have this simultaneous

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<v Speaker 1>us appreciation for where you are at this very moment,

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<v Speaker 1>combined with an excitement for the future and a desire

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<v Speaker 1>for what's in the future, Like that's that's I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>that's the most hard, hard balance to strike, right because

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<v Speaker 1>if you get too complacent living in your hometown, you're

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<v Speaker 1>never gonna you know, improve or experience more or go

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<v Speaker 1>out to try to live a color for life. But

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<v Speaker 1>if you're always you know, going on our slash travel

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<v Speaker 1>and dreaming about only what's out there, then you miss

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<v Speaker 1>all the shit that's right in front of your face.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's the hardest, hardest struggle to balance. And you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I've only been on the phone with you for five minutes,

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<v Speaker 1>but it seems like you're doing a really good job

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<v Speaker 1>at that.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, dude, I love that you have all that to say, because,

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<v Speaker 2>like one of my biggest inspirations, it is the show

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<v Speaker 2>you should you should check it out. It's an anime

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<v Speaker 2>called Golden Boy, and it's about this super smart dude

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<v Speaker 2>who is just a goofy, goofy motherfucker. But he graduated

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<v Speaker 2>or he's about to graduate, like law school or some shit,

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<v Speaker 2>and he decides to just drop out because he thinks

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<v Speaker 2>that was going to be too to cookie cut over

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<v Speaker 2>life for him, and he starts to just travel and

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<v Speaker 2>go around and do all these like weird odd jobs

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<v Speaker 2>just for a short period of time, just so he

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<v Speaker 2>can experience it and so he can have a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of fun learning about something new. And he's a real

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<v Speaker 2>goofy like perverted dude. But I mean the show, the

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<v Speaker 2>show's really funny, but it's inspiring in the same in

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<v Speaker 2>the same regard. And I'm happy you kind of hear

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<v Speaker 2>that and in me because I kind of want to

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<v Speaker 2>be like that. Like right now, do I have like

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<v Speaker 2>a music degree And right now I'm delivering packages for

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<v Speaker 2>FedEx kind of climbing for like this small dude that's

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<v Speaker 2>contracted for them. But I love that job man, being

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<v Speaker 2>able to just like drive around and stuff. It's it's

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<v Speaker 2>a hell of a lot of fun and see all the

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<v Speaker 2>animals and whatnot.

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<v Speaker 1>M hmm. When do you plan on taking your adventures?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you do?

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<v Speaker 2>You?

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<v Speaker 1>How how much longer do you plan staying in the

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<v Speaker 1>hometown for.

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<v Speaker 2>I think the track that I'm making and saving money,

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<v Speaker 2>I think in a couple of years, I could feasibly

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<v Speaker 2>look into doing something for at least a year. If

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<v Speaker 2>I wanted to do longer, I might have to, like

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<v Speaker 2>plan a little differently, but that's that's about how I

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<v Speaker 2>want to see the timeframes play out.

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<v Speaker 1>That's nice, Yeah, dude. Like I said, it's it's so

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<v Speaker 1>interesting to hear from you. I feel like I'm learning

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<v Speaker 1>from you, you know, because like you know, a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of people they would have that mindset of like, ah,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm driving for you know, delivering packages in my hometown.

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<v Speaker 1>This sucks. But in two years, I have this plan

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to travel the world and and then I'll

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<v Speaker 1>be happy, you know. But I love what I'm hearing

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<v Speaker 1>from you, Like you know, in two years, I'm going

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<v Speaker 1>to travel the world and it'll be exciting. But I'm

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<v Speaker 1>happy right now and I'll be happy then as well.

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<v Speaker 3>You know.

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<v Speaker 1>It's it's it's truly like one of the hardest things

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<v Speaker 1>to do, and it's it's really cool to hear it

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<v Speaker 1>from you.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, man, And like you know, I had a couple

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<v Speaker 2>of years where I didn't think I was going to

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<v Speaker 2>have like that mindset again, you know, we the the

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<v Speaker 2>early twenties are are hard on a lot of us,

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<v Speaker 2>and you know, you get into like a foggy mindset

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<v Speaker 2>of of you know, a foma you know, if you're

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<v Speaker 2>missing out and tough, and you you kind of lock

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<v Speaker 2>down on yourself, but eventually you just kind of got

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<v Speaker 2>to appreciate what you got going on and obviously strive

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<v Speaker 2>for something more. But it's the idea of looking that

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<v Speaker 2>far ahead or expecting too much of yourself is stressful.

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<v Speaker 2>Then just you know, chill out, just be cool with

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<v Speaker 2>being simple. If you like to be at your computer,

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<v Speaker 2>or if you like to watch shows and watch them

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<v Speaker 2>over and over and it's like a comfort space for you,

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<v Speaker 2>you should enjoy that. But always have that kind of

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<v Speaker 2>mindset that, hey, I'd like to do more potentially, but

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<v Speaker 2>only if it's cool with me.

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<v Speaker 1>So you say that in your early twenties, so you

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<v Speaker 1>say that this mindset that you've adopted, it wasn't always

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<v Speaker 1>like this in your early twenties. You had a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of fomo. I mean, tell me about your mindset in

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<v Speaker 1>those early twenties.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean, I guess for I dated a girl

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<v Speaker 2>from like the end of high school, from when I

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<v Speaker 2>when I was like seventeen until I was probably twenty two,

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<v Speaker 2>and when we broke off, that was that was that

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<v Speaker 2>that time because I had to kind of relearn independence

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<v Speaker 2>because i'd been with somebody who we're you know, inseparable,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, go depending kind of relationship. But you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I want to I don't want to a healthy codependent

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<v Speaker 2>because you really shouldn't be, and I've learned that that's

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<v Speaker 2>that's a hard thing to balance in a relationship. But

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<v Speaker 2>all the same, I was used stabbing somebody like like

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<v Speaker 2>tight like that, and so exploring that that, uh, that

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<v Speaker 2>loneliness out of out of kind of nowhere was you know,

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<v Speaker 2>where I had to two decide or like I guess,

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<v Speaker 2>not decide, but work on that mindset.

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<v Speaker 1>So hey, it also says here that you wanted to

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<v Speaker 1>tell me about a time you tried crack cocaine.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, dude, that's okay, so uh like sidebar, Like, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>I'm insecure about the story because I've told it a

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<v Speaker 2>handful of times and to some of my friends it

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<v Speaker 2>just seems so outlandish, and I'm sure it's gonna sound

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<v Speaker 2>the outlandish, so it's like a fake story or something.

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<v Speaker 2>But bear with me and just kind.

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<v Speaker 1>Of I tell you, I trust you. I'd like to

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<v Speaker 1>think that the people listening trust you. You've you've exerted

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<v Speaker 1>yourself to be a truthful, genuine person. I I and

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<v Speaker 1>I would love to hear the story of you try

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<v Speaker 1>and crack cocaine.

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<v Speaker 2>Sick sick. Okay, So I went to college in Omaha, Nebraska.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm I'm delivering pizzas and sandwiches for this sandwich shop downtown,

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<v Speaker 2>and late on like a Friday or Saturday night or something,

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<v Speaker 2>I drop a pie up, you know somewhere up kind

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<v Speaker 2>of in the northern part of downtown, which is considered

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<v Speaker 2>the ghetto of the area by like a homeless shelter,

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<v Speaker 2>and the dude kind of like comes up to my

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<v Speaker 2>window or you know, gets near my car and it's like, hey, man, amen,

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<v Speaker 2>get a canying a ride and something, you know whatever.

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<v Speaker 2>I work here, but I just need to get a

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<v Speaker 2>few blocks down the road or whatever. I'm like, man,

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<v Speaker 2>it's it's flow at the shop. I'll kill some time. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>why not get up and and I'm going to get

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<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna give this dude to ride real quick. We

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<v Speaker 2>end up going driving way further than I anticipated up

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<v Speaker 2>into like North omahaway out of my delivery range and stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>But again, we were slow at the moment, and I

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<v Speaker 2>didn't want to go do shop work. But I take

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<v Speaker 2>him to this place and he's like, hey, I just

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<v Speaker 2>need to stop here real quick and then you'll take

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<v Speaker 2>me to the actual place I'm going to go. Kind

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<v Speaker 2>of weird, but I waited out because I'm I'm a

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<v Speaker 2>guy that doesn't say no to.

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<v Speaker 3>People very well.

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<v Speaker 2>But basically comes back out and gets gets in the

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<v Speaker 2>car and then we start driving back pretty much right

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<v Speaker 2>back to where we were Initially. We we went way

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<v Speaker 2>further than we needed to, and I had no idea

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<v Speaker 2>why at the time. But while we're driving back, he

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<v Speaker 2>starts telling me these stories about his son coming out

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<v Speaker 2>of the closet and how he actually found out that

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<v Speaker 2>through his son deciding that he was gay, that he

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<v Speaker 2>was willing to explore himself more, all this kind of

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<v Speaker 2>weird stuff. And I was like, I was like, cool, man,

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<v Speaker 2>good for you. I'm I'm glad you you gave your

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<v Speaker 2>son that uh love and and whatnot. Then I don't know,

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<v Speaker 2>we get to something else and and he asked me,

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<v Speaker 2>He's like, so, so you get high. I'm like, man,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm a pizza guy. Of course I get high.

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<v Speaker 3>Uh uh.

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<v Speaker 2>He was like, but you get like high high. And

0:12:18.760 --> 0:12:22.760
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I've done some I've done some psychedelics,

0:12:22.800 --> 0:12:24.920
<v Speaker 2>and stuff in my life or whatever, you like, you know,

0:12:25.000 --> 0:12:28.680
<v Speaker 2>coke school eyes light up when I say the words coke.

0:12:28.720 --> 0:12:30.319
<v Speaker 2>And he just starts digging into his sock all of

0:12:30.320 --> 0:12:31.080
<v Speaker 2>a sudden, and he.

0:12:33.920 --> 0:12:36.079
<v Speaker 1>Sock he's wearing, he's dark, digging into it.

0:12:36.400 --> 0:12:40.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah yeah, Oh dude, I'm I'm telling you in a

0:12:40.200 --> 0:12:42.520
<v Speaker 2>couple of minutes, you're you're not gonna believe me as

0:12:42.559 --> 0:12:46.199
<v Speaker 2>a as a person. But he pulls up this JANKI

0:12:46.240 --> 0:12:50.760
<v Speaker 2>looking crack pipe and and uh a little baggy just

0:12:50.760 --> 0:12:54.160
<v Speaker 2>tied up off like a Walmart sack or whatever, and

0:12:54.320 --> 0:12:58.400
<v Speaker 2>some crystal looking looking ship. And I'm like, oh, I'm

0:12:58.440 --> 0:13:02.079
<v Speaker 2>like crack. And he's like free base on free base,

0:13:03.040 --> 0:13:05.680
<v Speaker 2>like okay, crack or and.

0:13:05.880 --> 0:13:12.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm an like, that's a combination of crack, and that's crack, cocaine.

0:13:13.320 --> 0:13:19.800
<v Speaker 2>Free free bases, free based cocaine, e g. Crack. And

0:13:19.920 --> 0:13:22.160
<v Speaker 2>you know you never say no to never say no

0:13:22.200 --> 0:13:26.600
<v Speaker 2>to free crack is the saying I heard one, but

0:13:28.080 --> 0:13:33.120
<v Speaker 2>I suppose But anyway, Uh so, I'm like, uh, ship, okay,

0:13:33.400 --> 0:13:36.559
<v Speaker 2>do you know what whatever? And he's like, pull over here,

0:13:36.600 --> 0:13:38.880
<v Speaker 2>here's a good spot, you know, kind of guys near

0:13:38.920 --> 0:13:42.160
<v Speaker 2>the side of the road. And pull over, and guy

0:13:42.200 --> 0:13:47.840
<v Speaker 2>says to me, you cannot shotgun you And I don't

0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:50.760
<v Speaker 2>know if you know what a shotgun is. There's different

0:13:50.800 --> 0:13:53.959
<v Speaker 2>ways that people do it. Often it's the way people

0:13:54.040 --> 0:13:56.800
<v Speaker 2>like help people that don't really know how to smoke. Anyway,

0:13:58.400 --> 0:14:02.120
<v Speaker 2>I don't ask me why I'm I just say, you know, yes, sure,

0:14:02.160 --> 0:14:06.360
<v Speaker 2>why not? But but old boy gets all excited. He

0:14:06.679 --> 0:14:09.800
<v Speaker 2>takes his hit of the crack through the jankass pipe,

0:14:10.840 --> 0:14:13.880
<v Speaker 2>grabs my head by by you know, the size of

0:14:13.960 --> 0:14:18.080
<v Speaker 2>my head. Plants went on me and blows them crack

0:14:18.120 --> 0:14:20.480
<v Speaker 2>into my lungs through like a through like a kiss.

0:14:21.040 --> 0:14:27.080
<v Speaker 2>And yeah, I was just like whoa that? You know,

0:14:27.160 --> 0:14:30.200
<v Speaker 2>it's kind of like like lean back. Actually mistake made.

0:14:30.280 --> 0:14:34.080
<v Speaker 2>I opened my eyes while that was happening, and surprisingly

0:14:34.160 --> 0:14:37.360
<v Speaker 2>I was disappointed to see that his eyes were closed.

0:14:37.560 --> 0:14:40.320
<v Speaker 2>Think I'd rather see them open. Like he was concentrated,

0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:45.920
<v Speaker 2>but he was concentrated in a different way anyway. I

0:14:46.000 --> 0:14:48.920
<v Speaker 2>was just taken back, and now I'm getting high rather

0:14:49.120 --> 0:14:53.320
<v Speaker 2>rather quickly. I'm like shit, and he goes here here, here,

0:14:53.480 --> 0:14:56.280
<v Speaker 2>you do it to me, and I go no, but

0:14:56.400 --> 0:15:00.600
<v Speaker 2>I'll take a hit, And he was like okay. It

0:15:00.720 --> 0:15:02.560
<v Speaker 2>was one one and only time I was ever gonna

0:15:02.640 --> 0:15:05.760
<v Speaker 2>kiss a likely homeless guy. And you know it's funny.

0:15:05.840 --> 0:15:08.920
<v Speaker 2>Actually I take my hit, you know, that's that's the

0:15:09.000 --> 0:15:11.360
<v Speaker 2>end of that part. But what's funny is it took

0:15:11.760 --> 0:15:13.920
<v Speaker 2>me years to realize that I probably took him to

0:15:13.920 --> 0:15:16.720
<v Speaker 2>buy the crack. I didn't every it didn't ever even

0:15:16.880 --> 0:15:19.320
<v Speaker 2>occur to me that like the fact that I took

0:15:19.400 --> 0:15:23.560
<v Speaker 2>him back some weird like way deep north on Maha

0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:26.280
<v Speaker 2>Spot and then back to where we were like initially

0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:28.720
<v Speaker 2>probably where he lived. Probably just gave him like a

0:15:29.680 --> 0:15:32.360
<v Speaker 2>free ten minute drive to his dealers.

0:15:32.840 --> 0:15:33.920
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, yeah, he got a.

0:15:33.840 --> 0:15:36.840
<v Speaker 1>Lot, He got a buddy to smoke crack with. He

0:15:36.960 --> 0:15:38.880
<v Speaker 1>got a kiss.

0:15:39.440 --> 0:15:41.640
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, he did get a kiss. I mean, you know,

0:15:41.680 --> 0:15:43.760
<v Speaker 2>I didn't. I didn't use any tongue or anything, like

0:15:43.760 --> 0:15:48.840
<v Speaker 2>I told my girlfriend after I simply hung out with

0:15:48.920 --> 0:15:50.720
<v Speaker 2>him for a little bit, let him talk about his life,

0:15:50.960 --> 0:15:54.240
<v Speaker 2>let him explore his sexuality maybe a little bit. When

0:15:54.240 --> 0:15:56.200
<v Speaker 2>I took him back and I take him to the

0:15:56.440 --> 0:16:00.160
<v Speaker 2>place sole took some sort of shelter or something, And

0:16:00.160 --> 0:16:03.000
<v Speaker 2>as I'm trapping him off, he was just like, can

0:16:03.040 --> 0:16:06.440
<v Speaker 2>I have your email address? I was like, you do

0:16:06.560 --> 0:16:10.200
<v Speaker 2>that for that I was like, no, Henry or Richard,

0:16:10.320 --> 0:16:12.440
<v Speaker 2>I can't remember what his name was, but this was

0:16:12.480 --> 0:16:16.160
<v Speaker 2>I said, this was enough adventure for me. I appreciate you, man,

0:16:16.160 --> 0:16:18.680
<v Speaker 2>and we shake hands or whatever, and he said, you know,

0:16:18.680 --> 0:16:20.560
<v Speaker 2>he says, God, bless you. I said, bless you too,

0:16:20.960 --> 0:16:22.800
<v Speaker 2>and I go back to work and I did the

0:16:22.800 --> 0:16:24.880
<v Speaker 2>ship out of some dishes. Man, I was gacked.

0:16:25.160 --> 0:16:31.080
<v Speaker 1>Corey, Corey, Uh, Corey, you are You're a say yes

0:16:31.160 --> 0:16:35.160
<v Speaker 1>to life kind of guy, aren't you, dude?

0:16:35.360 --> 0:16:38.800
<v Speaker 2>And it rarely I see, I'm I'm a lucky guy.

0:16:38.840 --> 0:16:39.040
<v Speaker 7>Man.

0:16:39.240 --> 0:16:42.320
<v Speaker 2>You I don't think it's a good idea to be

0:16:42.600 --> 0:16:45.280
<v Speaker 2>that person kind of like a yes man, so to speak,

0:16:45.320 --> 0:16:50.480
<v Speaker 2>like the movie teaches you. But but shit, it's been

0:16:50.560 --> 0:16:52.600
<v Speaker 2>good to me to be that type speacause I've been

0:16:52.680 --> 0:16:54.720
<v Speaker 2>lucky with the people I've met, and like a lot

0:16:54.760 --> 0:16:57.880
<v Speaker 2>of the times that I've been like that, it's rewarded me.

0:16:58.360 --> 0:17:01.360
<v Speaker 2>That's why I've had a had a good time when

0:17:01.400 --> 0:17:04.320
<v Speaker 2>I said yes to things. You know, my girlfriend was

0:17:04.359 --> 0:17:05.640
<v Speaker 2>mad at me that night, but like.

0:17:05.800 --> 0:17:10.320
<v Speaker 1>She was, you kind of how long was the was

0:17:10.359 --> 0:17:11.880
<v Speaker 1>the was the kiss with this guy?

0:17:13.640 --> 0:17:18.120
<v Speaker 2>It was as long as it takes to exhale some crack, so.

0:17:19.680 --> 0:17:23.640
<v Speaker 1>But I don't know's very like, it's very giving of

0:17:23.680 --> 0:17:29.440
<v Speaker 1>you to to let I was receiving man exploring himself

0:17:30.000 --> 0:17:30.400
<v Speaker 1>with you.

0:17:32.359 --> 0:17:34.639
<v Speaker 2>I think, I think so maybe I do trust me

0:17:34.720 --> 0:17:37.760
<v Speaker 2>that I don't want to say he didn't ask for

0:17:37.840 --> 0:17:41.280
<v Speaker 2>consent because he asked me, and like maybe I was thinking,

0:17:42.000 --> 0:17:44.240
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I thought maybe he was like, maybe

0:17:44.280 --> 0:17:45.879
<v Speaker 2>he doesn't want to touch my dirty crack pipes, so

0:17:45.920 --> 0:17:48.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna blow it from a distance. I don't know, dude,

0:17:49.840 --> 0:17:53.320
<v Speaker 2>it surprised me. I didn't intentionally think I love I'm

0:17:53.320 --> 0:17:55.840
<v Speaker 2>a plan one on this guy, but when it happened,

0:17:56.480 --> 0:17:57.679
<v Speaker 2>it is kind of just what it is.

0:17:57.800 --> 0:17:58.040
<v Speaker 6>You know.

0:17:59.640 --> 0:18:02.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm not, I'm not. My sexuality isn't too fragile

0:18:02.920 --> 0:18:06.440
<v Speaker 2>or too too I don't like the Actually, I don't

0:18:06.480 --> 0:18:09.040
<v Speaker 2>like the phrase fragile sexuality.

0:18:09.240 --> 0:18:13.560
<v Speaker 1>Just because you're confident about who you are and and

0:18:13.560 --> 0:18:17.280
<v Speaker 1>and whatnot, and that you know small instances of things

0:18:17.320 --> 0:18:21.040
<v Speaker 1>aren't going to make you compromise that. You know, Corey,

0:18:21.080 --> 0:18:22.440
<v Speaker 1>I'm uh get.

0:18:22.480 --> 0:18:22.800
<v Speaker 5>I don't know.

0:18:22.840 --> 0:18:26.879
<v Speaker 1>I don't know why, but this story about you picking

0:18:26.960 --> 0:18:30.520
<v Speaker 1>up this man and letting him blow crack smoke into

0:18:30.560 --> 0:18:34.520
<v Speaker 1>your mouth via a kiss, it's it's it's inspiring to me.

0:18:34.720 --> 0:18:37.399
<v Speaker 1>I don't know everything about your Corey, I I you know,

0:18:37.520 --> 0:18:44.560
<v Speaker 1>the just your mindset about things is like proving further

0:18:44.640 --> 0:18:49.600
<v Speaker 1>and further how important that is. You know, your perspective

0:18:49.640 --> 0:18:51.720
<v Speaker 1>on things and whatnot. You seem like you've got a

0:18:51.840 --> 0:18:56.320
<v Speaker 1>very uh refined, refined one.

0:18:59.000 --> 0:19:02.800
<v Speaker 2>And I've been coming to you podcasts recently for like, uh,

0:19:03.320 --> 0:19:06.280
<v Speaker 2>you know, more perspective on life. You know, I think

0:19:06.320 --> 0:19:08.600
<v Speaker 2>it's interesting how we all can learn something from each other,

0:19:09.119 --> 0:19:10.919
<v Speaker 2>or like we all can you know, look up to

0:19:11.480 --> 0:19:14.399
<v Speaker 2>the same people that you know look up so to

0:19:14.440 --> 0:19:15.960
<v Speaker 2>speak to to us.

0:19:16.720 --> 0:19:19.760
<v Speaker 1>So, Corey Crack Cocaine, would you do it again?

0:19:22.040 --> 0:19:24.040
<v Speaker 2>You know, I think you're not supposed to. I think

0:19:24.119 --> 0:19:30.520
<v Speaker 2>they like you, like thet from you're not supposed to.

0:19:30.680 --> 0:19:33.760
<v Speaker 2>But like Crack, you never say no toice to crack once,

0:19:33.920 --> 0:19:37.960
<v Speaker 2>but like you know, the second time, maybe maybe not,

0:19:39.040 --> 0:19:41.280
<v Speaker 2>because then there's there's a reason you came back. Like

0:19:41.320 --> 0:19:43.160
<v Speaker 2>that was the same thing with like whippets and myths

0:19:43.240 --> 0:19:45.679
<v Speaker 2>and anything else I've ever tried. It's always do it

0:19:45.760 --> 0:19:48.520
<v Speaker 2>once if it's like considered that super dangerous thing, and

0:19:48.560 --> 0:19:51.160
<v Speaker 2>obviously you'll probably have fun. But you can't, you can't

0:19:51.160 --> 0:19:51.800
<v Speaker 2>go back to it.

0:19:52.720 --> 0:19:54.879
<v Speaker 1>Well, Corey, you've got a very fun life ahead of you,

0:19:55.040 --> 0:19:57.280
<v Speaker 1>and you know, I wish you're the best of luck

0:19:57.640 --> 0:19:59.040
<v Speaker 1>in living it to the fullest.

0:20:00.880 --> 0:20:02.760
<v Speaker 2>Thanks man, thank you so much for having me on.

0:20:02.840 --> 0:20:05.200
<v Speaker 2>It was it was fun to be able to throw

0:20:05.240 --> 0:20:05.920
<v Speaker 2>that one out there.

0:20:06.840 --> 0:20:11.840
<v Speaker 1>Take care, Corey and bless man, take it easy. Who

0:20:12.760 --> 0:20:16.320
<v Speaker 1>what a great What a great call. What a great call?

0:20:16.359 --> 0:20:19.160
<v Speaker 1>That call had everything in it. I am genuine I'm

0:20:19.200 --> 0:20:29.120
<v Speaker 1>inspired by Corey in many ways. Really I am, I'm

0:20:29.280 --> 0:20:34.919
<v Speaker 1>I I I mean it. He he uh, just like

0:20:36.359 --> 0:20:42.480
<v Speaker 1>had so much of I've been thinking. I have been

0:20:42.520 --> 0:20:45.119
<v Speaker 1>thinking NonStop. But I've been thinking this throughout most throughout

0:20:45.119 --> 0:20:49.320
<v Speaker 1>a lot of my life about how about a lot

0:20:49.359 --> 0:20:54.400
<v Speaker 1>of these these things that Corey has been exemplifying, right,

0:20:55.080 --> 0:20:59.159
<v Speaker 1>The ability to be content with where you are in

0:20:59.160 --> 0:21:03.119
<v Speaker 1>the present moment while still working toward the future. The

0:21:03.200 --> 0:21:06.359
<v Speaker 1>ability to have a positive mindset about all it is

0:21:06.400 --> 0:21:12.600
<v Speaker 1>that happens to you. And he just exemplified that in

0:21:12.680 --> 0:21:19.159
<v Speaker 1>such a cool way. I really jived with m And

0:21:19.200 --> 0:21:23.640
<v Speaker 1>you know what, honestly, you know what, I've been thinking

0:21:24.440 --> 0:21:28.440
<v Speaker 1>about these concepts for all of my life, and I

0:21:28.480 --> 0:21:34.200
<v Speaker 1>think I've discovered through Corey that the answer is crack.

0:21:36.280 --> 0:21:39.679
<v Speaker 1>Maybe that's why he is the way he is, and

0:21:39.760 --> 0:21:43.520
<v Speaker 1>maybe I should give it a try. Folks, If you

0:21:43.680 --> 0:21:49.640
<v Speaker 1>learn anything from listening to this, it's that crack is

0:21:49.720 --> 0:21:58.000
<v Speaker 1>not that bad. Kiana, Hello, how are you Kiana? I

0:21:58.040 --> 0:22:02.080
<v Speaker 1>almost called you Kreana, which is pretty damn close to Kiana.

0:22:02.160 --> 0:22:05.280
<v Speaker 1>So I don't feel that bad about it.

0:22:05.400 --> 0:22:06.040
<v Speaker 4>Pretty close.

0:22:08.119 --> 0:22:09.160
<v Speaker 1>What's going on with Kiana?

0:22:11.400 --> 0:22:19.840
<v Speaker 4>Not a lot, just hanging out watching a stream.

0:22:20.240 --> 0:22:21.720
<v Speaker 1>Is there anything particularly on to talk about?

0:22:24.359 --> 0:22:27.640
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, basically, I've just been feeling like kind of an imposter,

0:22:27.840 --> 0:22:32.439
<v Speaker 4>like I put on kind of a costume, but in

0:22:32.600 --> 0:22:34.760
<v Speaker 4>more of a professional way. I guess when I go

0:22:34.840 --> 0:22:38.520
<v Speaker 4>into work and when I come home, I kind of

0:22:38.560 --> 0:22:40.800
<v Speaker 4>like to just get blackout drunk and smoke a bunch

0:22:40.840 --> 0:22:44.120
<v Speaker 4>of weeds. And in the mornings I go and work

0:22:44.160 --> 0:22:47.760
<v Speaker 4>at the kindergarten class and I don't know, I just

0:22:47.880 --> 0:22:50.320
<v Speaker 4>kind of feel bad about it in a way, but

0:22:51.280 --> 0:22:53.040
<v Speaker 4>I don't because I can still get my shit done

0:22:53.040 --> 0:22:53.400
<v Speaker 4>at work.

0:22:53.440 --> 0:22:59.639
<v Speaker 1>But so you feel as though the identity that you

0:22:59.680 --> 0:23:03.400
<v Speaker 1>put when you're teaching kindergarten are you when you say

0:23:03.440 --> 0:23:06.080
<v Speaker 1>you have a kindergarten class, like you teach kindergarten, or

0:23:06.119 --> 0:23:08.960
<v Speaker 1>you just work at at a at a school in

0:23:08.960 --> 0:23:10.240
<v Speaker 1>some other capacities, I work at a.

0:23:10.240 --> 0:23:13.399
<v Speaker 4>School, so I'm an education assistant, So I work with

0:23:13.440 --> 0:23:18.040
<v Speaker 4>the students that have extra needs and need extra help.

0:23:18.240 --> 0:23:21.800
<v Speaker 4>So kind of like grade one through four.

0:23:24.080 --> 0:23:28.680
<v Speaker 1>Okay, And so you're working with children all day and

0:23:28.800 --> 0:23:33.119
<v Speaker 1>you feel like that contrasts with you getting blackout drunk

0:23:33.160 --> 0:23:34.720
<v Speaker 1>and smoking a bunch of weed after work.

0:23:36.720 --> 0:23:42.639
<v Speaker 4>Right, Yes, I'm also the youngest there, which puts a

0:23:42.640 --> 0:23:44.919
<v Speaker 4>really big divide. Like I started doing this when I

0:23:44.960 --> 0:23:49.399
<v Speaker 4>was twenty one. I'm twenty five now, and not a

0:23:49.400 --> 0:23:52.320
<v Speaker 4>lot has changed. Like summer breaks, I'd like to go camping,

0:23:52.440 --> 0:23:54.920
<v Speaker 4>go in the woods, do some acid with my friends.

0:23:55.000 --> 0:23:59.439
<v Speaker 4>Like I don't feel like it really bothers what I

0:23:59.480 --> 0:24:01.280
<v Speaker 4>do at work, But I also feel like if anyone

0:24:01.359 --> 0:24:07.000
<v Speaker 4>found out, like I don't know, especially parents and everything

0:24:07.080 --> 0:24:08.840
<v Speaker 4>like that, like I don't want to go in public

0:24:08.920 --> 0:24:10.199
<v Speaker 4>or drink at the bar or whatever.

0:24:12.040 --> 0:24:20.159
<v Speaker 1>So aside from this sort of feeling as though it

0:24:20.280 --> 0:24:25.240
<v Speaker 1>contrasts with your identity at work, does anything else bother

0:24:25.359 --> 0:24:32.920
<v Speaker 1>you about your drinking and smoking habits?

0:24:33.760 --> 0:24:39.920
<v Speaker 4>Not really, I mean not really, No, like it doesn't

0:24:39.920 --> 0:24:43.639
<v Speaker 4>affect at work at all.

0:24:43.920 --> 0:24:47.080
<v Speaker 1>I want to take this to take to take work

0:24:47.119 --> 0:24:51.080
<v Speaker 1>out of it, like your other aspects of your life,

0:24:51.280 --> 0:24:56.520
<v Speaker 1>your your general mental well being, your relationships, family, whatever

0:24:56.560 --> 0:24:59.560
<v Speaker 1>whatever else you got going on. You know, do you

0:24:59.600 --> 0:25:03.320
<v Speaker 1>feel a though it's being negatively impacted by by your

0:25:03.400 --> 0:25:05.560
<v Speaker 1>drinking and smoking? And I'm not, I'm not. This isn't

0:25:05.560 --> 0:25:07.439
<v Speaker 1>a leading question. I'm not here to say it is.

0:25:07.480 --> 0:25:08.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm I'm just curious.

0:25:09.920 --> 0:25:10.640
<v Speaker 6>No, totally.

0:25:11.760 --> 0:25:14.600
<v Speaker 4>I think that it's gotten out of the hand in

0:25:14.680 --> 0:25:17.720
<v Speaker 4>the past where it's like blackout every night, it's gotten

0:25:17.720 --> 0:25:21.480
<v Speaker 4>a little bit better. But just like social anxiety as

0:25:21.480 --> 0:25:24.480
<v Speaker 4>a whole, like I don't even want to go grocery shopping.

0:25:24.720 --> 0:25:25.160
<v Speaker 2>I just.

0:25:28.160 --> 0:25:28.600
<v Speaker 4>I don't know.

0:25:29.840 --> 0:25:31.800
<v Speaker 1>Have you spoken to a real therapist about this?

0:25:33.200 --> 0:25:37.640
<v Speaker 4>Absolutely yes, And I know that they can't really give

0:25:37.680 --> 0:25:39.840
<v Speaker 4>a lot of advice as much as just kind of

0:25:39.880 --> 0:25:43.399
<v Speaker 4>guide you through it. So it's kind of nice just

0:25:43.400 --> 0:25:45.720
<v Speaker 4>to like talk to like a person just.

0:25:47.440 --> 0:25:51.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, sure, yeah, yeah, what did they say?

0:25:52.840 --> 0:25:55.640
<v Speaker 4>Just to kind of cut back on it, keep more

0:25:55.680 --> 0:25:57.640
<v Speaker 4>track on it. I don't really eat a lot either,

0:25:57.800 --> 0:26:05.679
<v Speaker 4>so that kind of negative tipally impacts it. But just

0:26:05.720 --> 0:26:09.640
<v Speaker 4>to keep track of everything and cut down. I'm supposed

0:26:09.680 --> 0:26:13.240
<v Speaker 4>to call a place to talk about the alcohol and stuff,

0:26:13.240 --> 0:26:13.879
<v Speaker 4>but I haven't.

0:26:14.200 --> 0:26:19.120
<v Speaker 1>But would you when you say you're supposed to call

0:26:19.119 --> 0:26:20.879
<v Speaker 1>a place, what is this? What is this place?

0:26:23.440 --> 0:26:25.960
<v Speaker 4>It's kind of it's a provincial Like I live in Canada,

0:26:26.000 --> 0:26:29.320
<v Speaker 4>so there's provincial buildings in places, and they kind of

0:26:29.320 --> 0:26:32.360
<v Speaker 4>offer free services. And I've been through there a few

0:26:32.400 --> 0:26:36.520
<v Speaker 4>times before, not for like addictions or anything, but I've

0:26:36.560 --> 0:26:40.440
<v Speaker 4>seen many psychiatrists and I've talked to a lot of places,

0:26:40.480 --> 0:26:43.199
<v Speaker 4>and it's been going really well for me. We've got

0:26:43.280 --> 0:26:45.280
<v Speaker 4>like a good plan going on and stuff like that.

0:26:46.240 --> 0:26:49.040
<v Speaker 4>It just feels so conflicting, like I'm so different from

0:26:49.040 --> 0:26:51.480
<v Speaker 4>my other co workers, like it's hard to find any

0:26:51.520 --> 0:26:57.880
<v Speaker 4>relationships or I don't know things like that.

0:26:58.640 --> 0:27:01.760
<v Speaker 1>Well, I'm okay, So to touch on that a little bit,

0:27:01.800 --> 0:27:04.040
<v Speaker 1>you say that you're very different from your co workers.

0:27:04.240 --> 0:27:06.680
<v Speaker 1>In what way do you feel like you're different from

0:27:06.720 --> 0:27:09.520
<v Speaker 1>your co workers?

0:27:10.520 --> 0:27:13.880
<v Speaker 4>One of the ways is being quite younger, Like I'm

0:27:13.920 --> 0:27:18.680
<v Speaker 4>the youngest of all of them by at least ten years,

0:27:18.720 --> 0:27:20.360
<v Speaker 4>and that's kind of.

0:27:22.119 --> 0:27:22.520
<v Speaker 2>Tricky.

0:27:23.560 --> 0:27:31.719
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I think that's like one of the main ways

0:27:31.800 --> 0:27:33.879
<v Speaker 4>is I'm just like so much younger, and like, I know,

0:27:33.960 --> 0:27:36.880
<v Speaker 4>I'm inexperienced and I'm trying to learn from them and everything.

0:27:39.880 --> 0:27:43.399
<v Speaker 1>Do you have a strong desire to connect more heavily

0:27:43.440 --> 0:27:48.320
<v Speaker 1>with them?

0:27:48.440 --> 0:27:51.840
<v Speaker 4>It gives me so much anxiety, Honestly, on my lunch breaks,

0:27:52.080 --> 0:27:53.960
<v Speaker 4>I go into my car and I drive around the

0:27:53.960 --> 0:27:56.359
<v Speaker 4>corner and I spend my lunch break around the corner

0:27:56.400 --> 0:28:02.840
<v Speaker 4>because it's just I don't know, it's freaky, but I

0:28:02.880 --> 0:28:04.960
<v Speaker 4>see it, and I guess the desire is kind of there,

0:28:05.000 --> 0:28:08.400
<v Speaker 4>but I don't know how it would work. I feel

0:28:08.440 --> 0:28:09.399
<v Speaker 4>like it wouldn't work.

0:28:10.080 --> 0:28:12.720
<v Speaker 1>Interesting. Okay, so now you've got me curious about this.

0:28:13.840 --> 0:28:17.120
<v Speaker 1>So you have social anxiety with talking to your coworkers,

0:28:17.680 --> 0:28:20.679
<v Speaker 1>you seem like, as you're saying, as you're telling me,

0:28:20.800 --> 0:28:24.760
<v Speaker 1>you have sort of general social anxiety. But now with

0:28:24.840 --> 0:28:28.320
<v Speaker 1>the kids, how do you feel when you're interacting with

0:28:28.359 --> 0:28:28.879
<v Speaker 1>the kids.

0:28:30.680 --> 0:28:34.480
<v Speaker 4>It's so different. I feel like I couldn't work with adults.

0:28:35.240 --> 0:28:37.080
<v Speaker 4>With the kids, it's so much different. I love the

0:28:37.080 --> 0:28:40.360
<v Speaker 4>way their mind works, Like the problems that they have

0:28:41.120 --> 0:28:44.840
<v Speaker 4>actually makes sense. Like you've seen an adults with all

0:28:44.920 --> 0:28:49.000
<v Speaker 4>their problems like just bullshit, petty stuff. It's like, Okay,

0:28:49.080 --> 0:28:49.880
<v Speaker 4>come on, you can.

0:28:49.760 --> 0:28:50.200
<v Speaker 3>Work it out.

0:28:50.200 --> 0:28:53.840
<v Speaker 4>But kids, they're actually struggling with stuff and you can

0:28:53.920 --> 0:28:56.560
<v Speaker 4>kind of really understand from their point of view, and

0:28:56.920 --> 0:28:59.280
<v Speaker 4>it's just it really changes working with kids.

0:29:00.280 --> 0:29:03.600
<v Speaker 1>Could you give me an example of sort of a

0:29:03.680 --> 0:29:06.840
<v Speaker 1>problem that a kid was having that you felt like

0:29:07.160 --> 0:29:13.080
<v Speaker 1>a more real problem than a typical adult problem.

0:29:13.360 --> 0:29:13.760
<v Speaker 6>Yeah.

0:29:13.800 --> 0:29:20.960
<v Speaker 4>Absolutely, So for example, like just developmentally, you know, if

0:29:21.000 --> 0:29:27.240
<v Speaker 4>something's out of place, or something spills, or somebody called

0:29:27.280 --> 0:29:32.760
<v Speaker 4>you a poo poo butt head. If you're thirty years old,

0:29:33.200 --> 0:29:35.120
<v Speaker 4>you know, you can kind of work those things out,

0:29:35.200 --> 0:29:37.360
<v Speaker 4>you pick up the mess, you can be upset or whatever.

0:29:37.880 --> 0:29:40.320
<v Speaker 4>But especially the kids that I work with who have

0:29:40.480 --> 0:29:47.120
<v Speaker 4>autism and just different developmental delays or what you call it,

0:29:49.160 --> 0:29:53.719
<v Speaker 4>this is a big deal for them. And like bright lights, flashing,

0:29:55.720 --> 0:29:59.320
<v Speaker 4>like flashing light, loud sounds, big pops, things like that,

0:30:01.320 --> 0:30:05.840
<v Speaker 4>or just simple as there someone calling them a word,

0:30:06.200 --> 0:30:06.720
<v Speaker 4>bad name.

0:30:07.440 --> 0:30:15.840
<v Speaker 1>Mm hmmmm mm hmmm. So I find it yeah, yeah,

0:30:15.920 --> 0:30:19.040
<v Speaker 1>So so the level of anxiety that you get, uh,

0:30:19.800 --> 0:30:24.320
<v Speaker 1>you know, interacting with people your age, those sort of

0:30:24.400 --> 0:30:27.240
<v Speaker 1>feelings that you have, none of them occur when you're

0:30:27.240 --> 0:30:28.920
<v Speaker 1>interacting with with the kids.

0:30:30.360 --> 0:30:34.400
<v Speaker 4>Correct, Yeah, they could be screaming flipping chairs over. Everything

0:30:34.480 --> 0:30:36.160
<v Speaker 4>just kind of turns off and I'm just really in

0:30:36.160 --> 0:30:36.600
<v Speaker 4>the moment.

0:30:37.520 --> 0:30:44.120
<v Speaker 1>Yes, but yeah, I was about to say, it's like again,

0:30:44.120 --> 0:30:49.120
<v Speaker 1>I'm I'm doing some armchair gecko therapy here. But you know,

0:30:49.160 --> 0:30:53.040
<v Speaker 1>I can, I can relate a lot because, uh, you know,

0:30:53.120 --> 0:30:54.680
<v Speaker 1>it seems like you have a lot of kind of

0:30:54.800 --> 0:30:58.000
<v Speaker 1>chaos going around in in your life and a lot

0:30:58.000 --> 0:31:01.240
<v Speaker 1>of aspects of it. But when you're, yeah, you know,

0:31:01.320 --> 0:31:04.880
<v Speaker 1>working with these kids, it's, as you say, very in

0:31:04.920 --> 0:31:07.160
<v Speaker 1>the moment, and so you're not focused on all this

0:31:08.080 --> 0:31:11.480
<v Speaker 1>chaos and all this anxiety over you know what, what

0:31:12.120 --> 0:31:15.000
<v Speaker 1>probably seems like an endless amount of things that there

0:31:15.000 --> 0:31:19.000
<v Speaker 1>are to be anxious over, and you're just there helping

0:31:19.120 --> 0:31:25.080
<v Speaker 1>the kid and sort of occupying their headspace as well,

0:31:26.240 --> 0:31:29.400
<v Speaker 1>wherein the problems are very much immediate.

0:31:31.360 --> 0:31:32.640
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah, exactly.

0:31:37.400 --> 0:31:41.800
<v Speaker 1>Interesting. Do you consider yourself an alcoholic?

0:31:44.560 --> 0:31:47.160
<v Speaker 4>Hmm. That is a really interesting question that I've been

0:31:47.200 --> 0:31:51.800
<v Speaker 4>asked a lot. I think like, if money is tight

0:31:51.880 --> 0:31:54.520
<v Speaker 4>and I can't drink, I won't and it's fine, it's

0:31:54.560 --> 0:31:56.800
<v Speaker 4>not a problem. I'm not like itching for it or

0:31:57.440 --> 0:31:58.120
<v Speaker 4>anything like that.

0:31:58.920 --> 0:31:59.560
<v Speaker 6>But at the.

0:31:59.480 --> 0:32:04.240
<v Speaker 4>Same time, when you look at what they recognend like

0:32:04.680 --> 0:32:09.280
<v Speaker 4>for how much Canadians should drink or whatever per week

0:32:09.320 --> 0:32:12.600
<v Speaker 4>and what is considered at risk alcoholic. I'm definitely in

0:32:12.720 --> 0:32:14.360
<v Speaker 4>that at risk for sure.

0:32:17.200 --> 0:32:23.400
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so you're in that at risk category, but you're not.

0:32:24.080 --> 0:32:26.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what this I I don't know. I

0:32:26.040 --> 0:32:27.680
<v Speaker 1>don't I don't know if there's like some sort of

0:32:27.680 --> 0:32:31.760
<v Speaker 1>objective standard of you are an alcoholic, you are not

0:32:31.880 --> 0:32:34.240
<v Speaker 1>an alcoholic type.

0:32:34.000 --> 0:32:35.480
<v Speaker 4>Of I like to be drunk every night?

0:32:36.520 --> 0:32:42.840
<v Speaker 1>Okay? Do you ever do you ever get drunk and

0:32:42.880 --> 0:32:43.280
<v Speaker 1>go to work?

0:32:45.160 --> 0:32:45.240
<v Speaker 6>No?

0:32:45.600 --> 0:32:49.760
<v Speaker 4>Never? Okay, I don't even see.

0:32:50.960 --> 0:32:52.680
<v Speaker 1>Would you ever see yourself getting to that point?

0:32:55.560 --> 0:33:00.520
<v Speaker 4>No, honestly no, I have nightmares every night, just like

0:33:00.560 --> 0:33:03.640
<v Speaker 4>about being lead to work, definitely.

0:33:05.760 --> 0:33:08.880
<v Speaker 1>Right, So you have this as like a sort of

0:33:08.920 --> 0:33:14.560
<v Speaker 1>anchor point of something that's very important to you that

0:33:14.600 --> 0:33:17.120
<v Speaker 1>you don't want to compromise, or that you don't even

0:33:17.160 --> 0:33:19.680
<v Speaker 1>see yourself being able to compromise, because it's that important

0:33:19.680 --> 0:33:22.600
<v Speaker 1>to you, right, Yes.

0:33:22.520 --> 0:33:24.719
<v Speaker 4>And I don't want to compromise it by someone just

0:33:24.760 --> 0:33:28.200
<v Speaker 4>like finding out who I am.

0:33:28.480 --> 0:33:35.880
<v Speaker 1>So you're worried about people finding out about your drug use?

0:33:37.560 --> 0:33:37.920
<v Speaker 4>I guess.

0:33:37.920 --> 0:33:43.920
<v Speaker 1>So have they ever gotten close to finding out?

0:33:46.600 --> 0:33:46.959
<v Speaker 4>No?

0:33:47.080 --> 0:33:47.280
<v Speaker 5>Never?

0:33:51.640 --> 0:33:55.680
<v Speaker 1>You know I'm a big proponent of the idea that

0:33:56.200 --> 0:34:02.720
<v Speaker 1>there isn't a true self. I've talked about this a bunch, right,

0:34:02.960 --> 0:34:06.520
<v Speaker 1>So like, look, you getting black out drunk and smoking

0:34:06.520 --> 0:34:09.680
<v Speaker 1>a bunch of weed, like you know, yeah, that's that's

0:34:09.680 --> 0:34:13.319
<v Speaker 1>a part of you. That definitely is it in a

0:34:13.360 --> 0:34:17.880
<v Speaker 1>way who you are. But also you helping out autistic

0:34:17.960 --> 0:34:23.120
<v Speaker 1>children to feel better and I'm sure being a strong

0:34:23.360 --> 0:34:27.279
<v Speaker 1>pillar of comfort and support in their lives and doing

0:34:27.280 --> 0:34:29.080
<v Speaker 1>that is a good thing, and being in the moment

0:34:29.080 --> 0:34:34.200
<v Speaker 1>of that is also who you are. So I don't

0:34:34.239 --> 0:34:38.239
<v Speaker 1>know if there is a a true self, Like there

0:34:38.480 --> 0:34:42.280
<v Speaker 1>isn't even a That's my thing about being an impost

0:34:43.360 --> 0:34:47.160
<v Speaker 1>is like you're you're kind You're kind of both. You know,

0:34:48.360 --> 0:34:50.600
<v Speaker 1>they're they're they're both the part of who you are,

0:34:51.080 --> 0:34:54.799
<v Speaker 1>so one doesn't necessarily negate the other. I don't think.

0:34:57.239 --> 0:35:03.840
<v Speaker 4>Yeah that makes a lot of sense. Actually, yeah, thank.

0:35:03.680 --> 0:35:08.120
<v Speaker 1>You for sure? For sure? Have you been I mean,

0:35:08.320 --> 0:35:10.040
<v Speaker 1>is that something you have been feeling like you do

0:35:10.080 --> 0:35:14.800
<v Speaker 1>you ever feel like what you do outside of work

0:35:15.440 --> 0:35:17.520
<v Speaker 1>negates what you do in work.

0:35:22.120 --> 0:35:23.960
<v Speaker 4>I don't know. Sometimes I feel like if like a

0:35:24.080 --> 0:35:30.200
<v Speaker 4>parent was like, oh, she's like bringing all these beer

0:35:30.239 --> 0:35:33.600
<v Speaker 4>cans with the recycling or supposed peoples sweet or like

0:35:33.880 --> 0:35:36.280
<v Speaker 4>is kind of a mess at home? Or like anything

0:35:36.360 --> 0:35:38.200
<v Speaker 4>like if they have got to know my true self?

0:35:39.440 --> 0:35:42.120
<v Speaker 1>Right that right there, like literally what you just said,

0:35:42.160 --> 0:35:43.560
<v Speaker 1>Literally what you just said, if they got to know

0:35:44.040 --> 0:35:48.759
<v Speaker 1>my true self? Like you're labeling you with the beer,

0:35:49.000 --> 0:35:50.719
<v Speaker 1>but that's what you do. You're labeling you with the

0:35:50.800 --> 0:35:53.839
<v Speaker 1>beer cans and the getting high and the black. You're

0:35:53.920 --> 0:35:57.239
<v Speaker 1>labeling that as your true self, which it is.

0:35:57.560 --> 0:35:57.759
<v Speaker 4>It is.

0:35:57.960 --> 0:35:59.800
<v Speaker 1>I I mean, this is just me and my philosophy

0:35:59.840 --> 0:36:01.160
<v Speaker 1>is like that is who you are.

0:36:01.360 --> 0:36:03.319
<v Speaker 2>But you.

0:36:05.160 --> 0:36:08.080
<v Speaker 1>Helping these autistic children, the way in which you are

0:36:08.160 --> 0:36:13.520
<v Speaker 1>making their lives better, that's that's also your true self.

0:36:13.560 --> 0:36:16.080
<v Speaker 1>I don't think that one is more true than the other.

0:36:17.320 --> 0:36:19.720
<v Speaker 1>So I think it is. It's a fallacy to label

0:36:19.800 --> 0:36:20.480
<v Speaker 1>that as true.

0:36:23.480 --> 0:36:26.719
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, you're right, I was wording it like that, And no,

0:36:26.880 --> 0:36:29.880
<v Speaker 4>that makes a lot of sense. That's not like just

0:36:30.000 --> 0:36:35.640
<v Speaker 4>who my true self is at all, super passionate about

0:36:35.640 --> 0:36:39.480
<v Speaker 4>what I do and I take it super seriously. Yeah, yeah,

0:36:39.560 --> 0:36:40.479
<v Speaker 4>that makes a lot of sense.

0:36:41.400 --> 0:36:44.319
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah you are. And that's that's that's that's true,

0:36:44.640 --> 0:36:48.040
<v Speaker 1>and that doesn't get negated by whatever it is you

0:36:48.160 --> 0:36:52.600
<v Speaker 1>do outside of that. I feel like people deal with

0:36:52.800 --> 0:36:55.520
<v Speaker 1>I deal with this myself. Is like, for whatever reason,

0:36:55.640 --> 0:36:57.400
<v Speaker 1>we beat the fuck out of ourselves and we go,

0:36:58.560 --> 0:37:03.520
<v Speaker 1>you know, we we completely negate all the I do

0:37:03.640 --> 0:37:07.440
<v Speaker 1>it myself. Again, I'm talking to myself here when I'm

0:37:07.480 --> 0:37:12.080
<v Speaker 1>talking to you as well. Is uh, you know, negating

0:37:12.160 --> 0:37:14.920
<v Speaker 1>all the good stuff you do, not even thinking about it,

0:37:15.320 --> 0:37:19.399
<v Speaker 1>focusing on all the times you fuck off or you're late,

0:37:19.640 --> 0:37:22.560
<v Speaker 1>or you smoke too much weed or jack off too much,

0:37:22.719 --> 0:37:25.120
<v Speaker 1>or do whatever it is you do, and you go,

0:37:25.320 --> 0:37:28.680
<v Speaker 1>that's the true self, and you completely ignore all the

0:37:28.760 --> 0:37:32.239
<v Speaker 1>good stuff that you do, and you go, well, sure

0:37:32.280 --> 0:37:34.000
<v Speaker 1>I do that stuff, but that's not who I really am.

0:37:34.080 --> 0:37:36.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm really all the bad shit. And it's like you

0:37:36.719 --> 0:37:38.359
<v Speaker 1>can't just run away from the bad shit and pretend

0:37:38.400 --> 0:37:41.600
<v Speaker 1>like you never do it, you know, and you can't go, well,

0:37:42.120 --> 0:37:44.040
<v Speaker 1>then that bad ship matters because of all the good shit.

0:37:44.320 --> 0:37:46.520
<v Speaker 1>You can't do that. But you can't go none of

0:37:46.520 --> 0:37:47.960
<v Speaker 1>the good ship matters because of all the bad shit.

0:37:48.000 --> 0:37:48.200
<v Speaker 3>Either.

0:37:50.280 --> 0:37:52.760
<v Speaker 4>Yes that is true, because that's bullshit.

0:37:53.480 --> 0:37:53.960
<v Speaker 2>It's right.

0:37:55.280 --> 0:37:58.719
<v Speaker 1>So you know, I hope you operate. You know, it

0:37:58.840 --> 0:38:01.960
<v Speaker 1>sounds to me like you'll or you have a desire

0:38:04.400 --> 0:38:12.879
<v Speaker 1>to I don't get blackout, drunk less and smoke weed less, right,

0:38:13.280 --> 0:38:18.960
<v Speaker 1>and I think that you should pursue that desire. But

0:38:19.719 --> 0:38:25.280
<v Speaker 1>as you're pursuing that desire, you can't, like I don't

0:38:25.320 --> 0:38:26.839
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I don't think you can like beat

0:38:26.880 --> 0:38:28.600
<v Speaker 1>yourself up into beating it, right.

0:38:31.120 --> 0:38:31.319
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:38:33.560 --> 0:38:36.120
<v Speaker 1>So I mean, as you're pursuing that, I don't think

0:38:36.160 --> 0:38:39.040
<v Speaker 1>you should completely throw away all the good stuff you're

0:38:39.080 --> 0:38:43.800
<v Speaker 1>doing and fail to fail to recognize it in the process.

0:38:47.400 --> 0:38:48.120
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, that's true.

0:38:48.200 --> 0:38:52.759
<v Speaker 2>Can't thank you very much for sure?

0:38:53.200 --> 0:38:55.560
<v Speaker 1>For sure? Keana. Is there anything else you want to

0:38:55.600 --> 0:38:58.200
<v Speaker 1>talk about in life in the world before we go?

0:39:00.600 --> 0:39:05.520
<v Speaker 1>That is about it. Thank you, beautiful, good luck, talk

0:39:05.560 --> 0:39:06.000
<v Speaker 1>to you soon.

0:39:07.840 --> 0:39:09.800
<v Speaker 4>Yes, yes, yes, goodbye?

0:39:10.360 --> 0:39:12.200
<v Speaker 1>Hello Yan?

0:39:14.840 --> 0:39:15.759
<v Speaker 3>Yes, this is Yan.

0:39:16.760 --> 0:39:17.520
<v Speaker 1>How are you yan?

0:39:19.840 --> 0:39:22.239
<v Speaker 3>I'm great, yek. How are you doing? Uh?

0:39:22.320 --> 0:39:22.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

0:39:22.600 --> 0:39:24.239
<v Speaker 1>It says here you would like to You would like

0:39:24.320 --> 0:39:30.240
<v Speaker 1>to you would like to discuss any and Audi Vagina's.

0:39:32.360 --> 0:39:33.560
<v Speaker 3>Yes, any and Ali Kuci?

0:39:35.080 --> 0:39:35.680
<v Speaker 1>Okay? Sure?

0:39:35.920 --> 0:39:36.040
<v Speaker 6>Uh?

0:39:36.600 --> 0:39:38.879
<v Speaker 1>Do you want to? You want to sort of start

0:39:38.920 --> 0:39:42.640
<v Speaker 1>by giving me your initial thoughts, So.

0:39:45.160 --> 0:39:51.719
<v Speaker 3>Gek first, personally, would you say you're in any or

0:39:51.840 --> 0:39:53.120
<v Speaker 3>Audi Cuci type of guy?

0:39:55.000 --> 0:39:55.120
<v Speaker 7>Uh?

0:39:55.160 --> 0:39:58.600
<v Speaker 1>Do you mean in my in my personal like sexual preference.

0:40:00.719 --> 0:40:02.880
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you know.

0:40:02.960 --> 0:40:05.440
<v Speaker 1>I want to be perfectly honest with you, Yan, I

0:40:05.680 --> 0:40:08.080
<v Speaker 1>did not know that there was such a thing as

0:40:08.200 --> 0:40:09.280
<v Speaker 1>any and audi kuci.

0:40:11.640 --> 0:40:14.040
<v Speaker 3>Oh that's interesting. I didn't know either. One of my

0:40:14.120 --> 0:40:18.400
<v Speaker 3>friends told me. But I say all that to say this. So,

0:40:18.520 --> 0:40:21.920
<v Speaker 3>I have a girlfriend that I love very much and

0:40:22.920 --> 0:40:25.719
<v Speaker 3>in my own personal preference, I am any coucie type

0:40:25.719 --> 0:40:31.920
<v Speaker 3>of guy. But she has an Audi kuci and I

0:40:32.080 --> 0:40:37.719
<v Speaker 3>love her, but I can't deal with it. And there's

0:40:37.800 --> 0:40:41.880
<v Speaker 3>a procedure I can she can go through called the

0:40:42.040 --> 0:40:46.560
<v Speaker 3>vaginal plasty, and I would I'm willing to pay for it,

0:40:47.200 --> 0:40:49.200
<v Speaker 3>but she's very sensitive and I don't want to hurt

0:40:49.200 --> 0:40:51.880
<v Speaker 3>her feelings. So I'm trying to like figure out the

0:40:51.920 --> 0:40:55.040
<v Speaker 3>way that I can convince her to get this vaginal plasty.

0:40:56.000 --> 0:40:56.399
<v Speaker 4>Mm hmm.

0:40:57.120 --> 0:40:59.360
<v Speaker 1>So wait a minute. Okay, So you told me just

0:40:59.480 --> 0:41:04.680
<v Speaker 1>now that you yourself did not know that there was

0:41:04.920 --> 0:41:11.320
<v Speaker 1>a distinction between uh any vagina and audi vagina. So

0:41:12.239 --> 0:41:14.719
<v Speaker 1>but but that you learned it from your friend. So

0:41:14.960 --> 0:41:16.840
<v Speaker 1>if you didn't even know that there was a distinction,

0:41:17.120 --> 0:41:19.000
<v Speaker 1>how would you even know that you had a preference.

0:41:21.960 --> 0:41:24.520
<v Speaker 3>This was beforehand. This was like two years ago.

0:41:25.440 --> 0:41:32.000
<v Speaker 1>Okay, So I have a few thoughts about this, but

0:41:32.120 --> 0:41:34.240
<v Speaker 1>let me ask you first. Have you have you talked

0:41:34.400 --> 0:41:35.799
<v Speaker 1>to your partner about this at all?

0:41:38.360 --> 0:41:38.799
<v Speaker 3>Not yet?

0:41:40.360 --> 0:41:40.799
<v Speaker 1>M hmm.

0:41:41.680 --> 0:41:43.479
<v Speaker 3>She's a very well sensitive woman.

0:41:44.320 --> 0:41:46.840
<v Speaker 1>Sure, sure, sure, I think here's the thing at the

0:41:46.920 --> 0:41:48.200
<v Speaker 1>end of the day, and I'm sure you know this

0:41:48.280 --> 0:41:49.680
<v Speaker 1>and don't need me to tell you this. You know

0:41:50.160 --> 0:41:59.239
<v Speaker 1>you you can't really uh compel somebody to uh you know,

0:41:59.400 --> 0:42:01.360
<v Speaker 1>do something with their body that they don't want to do.

0:42:01.760 --> 0:42:04.800
<v Speaker 7>Of course, of course.

0:42:07.080 --> 0:42:13.600
<v Speaker 1>So I mean, look, knowing that, what were you going

0:42:13.680 --> 0:42:16.000
<v Speaker 1>to say? What were you going to say?

0:42:16.120 --> 0:42:19.040
<v Speaker 3>You see, he's always telling me how much he loves me,

0:42:19.160 --> 0:42:21.040
<v Speaker 3>she'll do anything for me, And I just don't know

0:42:21.719 --> 0:42:25.360
<v Speaker 3>does this cross the line or is this within those boundaries?

0:42:26.600 --> 0:42:26.759
<v Speaker 2>Oh?

0:42:26.840 --> 0:42:29.040
<v Speaker 1>You know what you gotta do. You gotta find find

0:42:29.120 --> 0:42:33.759
<v Speaker 1>You gotta find something about your body that she wants

0:42:33.840 --> 0:42:36.799
<v Speaker 1>to fix, right, And you guys can do a little

0:42:36.800 --> 0:42:40.120
<v Speaker 1>bit of a bargain, like a yeah and I for

0:42:40.200 --> 0:42:42.279
<v Speaker 1>and I like, I don't know, maybe she likes maybe

0:42:42.520 --> 0:42:46.160
<v Speaker 1>maybe maybe you have small balls, right, and you find

0:42:46.200 --> 0:42:49.280
<v Speaker 1>out that your girlfriend likes big balls, and you find

0:42:49.360 --> 0:42:53.880
<v Speaker 1>that there is a procedure that enlarges the testicles, and

0:42:54.040 --> 0:42:56.840
<v Speaker 1>you say to her, Okay, if you flip your kouchie,

0:42:57.320 --> 0:43:01.040
<v Speaker 1>I'll increase my balls. And she goes and you go

0:43:01.200 --> 0:43:03.960
<v Speaker 1>down to the surgery place together and it's like a

0:43:04.080 --> 0:43:08.880
<v Speaker 1>date and everything goes smoothly. But you would have to

0:43:08.920 --> 0:43:12.080
<v Speaker 1>ask her if there's anything about your body that she

0:43:12.200 --> 0:43:14.560
<v Speaker 1>doesn't like in order to find what that thing is.

0:43:16.800 --> 0:43:20.520
<v Speaker 3>It does say my ball sizer is below average. Sometimes

0:43:20.680 --> 0:43:23.000
<v Speaker 3>she says that, and I would be willing to do

0:43:23.120 --> 0:43:23.680
<v Speaker 3>that for her.

0:43:24.680 --> 0:43:26.560
<v Speaker 1>Okay, then that's what that's the approach I would take

0:43:26.600 --> 0:43:30.120
<v Speaker 1>with it is some some form of of bargain.

0:43:32.520 --> 0:43:36.319
<v Speaker 3>Okay, thank you, Gick, I appreciate course, have.

0:43:36.360 --> 0:43:42.160
<v Speaker 1>Any that a good night? Any and Audi cuch I

0:43:42.200 --> 0:43:44.920
<v Speaker 1>did not know that that was such a thing. I

0:43:45.040 --> 0:43:50.360
<v Speaker 1>did not know that that was such a thing. I

0:43:50.480 --> 0:43:54.279
<v Speaker 1>know there's any and Audi belly buttons, I myself have

0:43:54.360 --> 0:44:01.640
<v Speaker 1>a deep deep inny. Hello Veronica, Hi Veronica. It says

0:44:01.760 --> 0:44:08.560
<v Speaker 1>here that you had an encounter with the guy working

0:44:08.640 --> 0:44:12.640
<v Speaker 1>at the front desk. Apparently he was flirting with you

0:44:13.400 --> 0:44:16.560
<v Speaker 1>and you felt kind of awkward about it. This is uh,

0:44:16.640 --> 0:44:19.480
<v Speaker 1>I like talking about these things, these little these little

0:44:19.640 --> 0:44:25.719
<v Speaker 1>micro interactions that we have, you know, platonically, these micro

0:44:25.840 --> 0:44:29.800
<v Speaker 1>interactions we have are already so awkward and complex to navigate.

0:44:30.120 --> 0:44:34.000
<v Speaker 1>But when you add this whatever romantic sexual overtone over it,

0:44:34.239 --> 0:44:37.320
<v Speaker 1>it just, uh, it's about one hundred times worse. So

0:44:38.840 --> 0:44:40.759
<v Speaker 1>we're going to break break it down for me.

0:44:42.480 --> 0:44:45.919
<v Speaker 5>Okay. So, I mean, I've been going to the gym

0:44:45.960 --> 0:44:49.160
<v Speaker 5>for a while now, and I've seen this guy at

0:44:49.160 --> 0:44:51.439
<v Speaker 5>the front desk and I've been like, oh, he's cute,

0:44:51.440 --> 0:44:54.439
<v Speaker 5>but I never really noticed him before, like too much. Sorry,

0:44:54.480 --> 0:44:58.799
<v Speaker 5>I'm getting water because I'm parched and married. I'll drink

0:44:58.880 --> 0:45:04.759
<v Speaker 5>some too, But I'd never really quite noticed him before.

0:45:05.200 --> 0:45:08.719
<v Speaker 5>And then the other day I was struggling with a

0:45:08.800 --> 0:45:11.879
<v Speaker 5>machine and I'd never used like this specific machine before.

0:45:12.280 --> 0:45:15.239
<v Speaker 5>I could not get this motherfucker loose, Like, I could

0:45:15.320 --> 0:45:16.720
<v Speaker 5>not get it in the position I wanted.

0:45:17.280 --> 0:45:19.440
<v Speaker 2>So I was.

0:45:21.880 --> 0:45:23.720
<v Speaker 5>Tugging at it and tugging at it, and I'm realizing

0:45:23.800 --> 0:45:26.120
<v Speaker 5>I look stupid, like for when my arms are jelly

0:45:26.200 --> 0:45:29.760
<v Speaker 5>already and I'm looking real dumb. So I start laughing

0:45:29.800 --> 0:45:31.640
<v Speaker 5>at myself and I tug at it and I look

0:45:31.719 --> 0:45:35.200
<v Speaker 5>over and this front desk boys laughing at me and

0:45:36.080 --> 0:45:38.840
<v Speaker 5>I like shook my head, laughed it off, tried it again,

0:45:39.200 --> 0:45:41.520
<v Speaker 5>could not get it. Still cannot get it. So I

0:45:42.360 --> 0:45:43.920
<v Speaker 5>look over at him and he's still looking at me

0:45:43.960 --> 0:45:45.520
<v Speaker 5>and give him a look like are you gonna help

0:45:45.560 --> 0:45:47.400
<v Speaker 5>me or what? So then he comes over and he

0:45:47.480 --> 0:45:49.279
<v Speaker 5>helps me and he shows me how to do it,

0:45:49.360 --> 0:45:51.520
<v Speaker 5>and I was like, oh, thanks god, it got it now.

0:45:51.920 --> 0:45:55.759
<v Speaker 5>And then later when I'm leaving, he goes, so, now

0:45:55.800 --> 0:45:58.840
<v Speaker 5>at least you know how the machine works. And I

0:45:58.920 --> 0:46:01.560
<v Speaker 5>was like, yeah, yeah, no, I got it now, thanks,

0:46:01.760 --> 0:46:04.239
<v Speaker 5>like in a kind of like exasperated, like yeah, thanks,

0:46:04.239 --> 0:46:12.720
<v Speaker 5>I'm an idiot. And shoot, what did he say after that? Sorry?

0:46:12.800 --> 0:46:14.719
<v Speaker 5>I'm like really nervous, gecko.

0:46:14.480 --> 0:46:15.080
<v Speaker 6>I'm so happy.

0:46:15.120 --> 0:46:17.840
<v Speaker 1>Okay, So so all right, sorry, so listen, say so,

0:46:18.160 --> 0:46:19.759
<v Speaker 1>so you have a crush on this guy?

0:46:19.920 --> 0:46:20.040
<v Speaker 7>Right?

0:46:21.200 --> 0:46:23.080
<v Speaker 5>I guess so, I mean this is like the first

0:46:23.120 --> 0:46:25.480
<v Speaker 5>time I'd ever really really know. So I just thought

0:46:25.520 --> 0:46:26.840
<v Speaker 5>he was cute. I think it was the fact that

0:46:27.080 --> 0:46:30.160
<v Speaker 5>like he like started to flirt with me, and then

0:46:30.239 --> 0:46:34.480
<v Speaker 5>I felt like this pressure and like, I'm I'm very

0:46:34.560 --> 0:46:36.719
<v Speaker 5>comfortable in myself, if not anything, like, I don't I

0:46:36.800 --> 0:46:38.600
<v Speaker 5>don't even know that I've only interacted with him a

0:46:38.640 --> 0:46:40.439
<v Speaker 5>couple of times, you know, but it's.

0:46:43.040 --> 0:46:47.360
<v Speaker 1>Well, here's the thing is, are you hoping that he

0:46:47.600 --> 0:46:51.800
<v Speaker 1>makes some form of a reach out to you to

0:46:52.080 --> 0:46:53.440
<v Speaker 1>whatever get your numbers?

0:46:54.440 --> 0:46:57.680
<v Speaker 5>I am so happy, I mean, I am so happy

0:46:57.800 --> 0:47:00.359
<v Speaker 5>single right now. But I was like, it would fund

0:47:00.360 --> 0:47:02.400
<v Speaker 5>to flirt with him, just like when I see him

0:47:02.400 --> 0:47:06.759
<v Speaker 5>at the gym or whatever. But no, I'm really happy single.

0:47:06.840 --> 0:47:08.680
<v Speaker 5>But it's like the idea that now I have to

0:47:08.800 --> 0:47:11.080
<v Speaker 5>build up, like, oh, what am I going to say

0:47:11.080 --> 0:47:12.520
<v Speaker 5>to him? Like what is he going to say to me?

0:47:13.280 --> 0:47:16.759
<v Speaker 1>You're enjoying, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, I see what

0:47:16.800 --> 0:47:20.520
<v Speaker 1>you're saying. You're like, you're just enjoying. You're existing in

0:47:20.600 --> 0:47:26.200
<v Speaker 1>this realm of tension, and you know, I know that

0:47:26.320 --> 0:47:30.280
<v Speaker 1>you say you can you're you're existing in this realm

0:47:30.320 --> 0:47:34.840
<v Speaker 1>of tension. Hold on, you're existing in this realm of tension.

0:47:35.400 --> 0:47:38.000
<v Speaker 1>And you're saying you don't know how to flirt properly.

0:47:38.120 --> 0:47:41.839
<v Speaker 1>That's what That's what you told the call screenner. But yeah,

0:47:42.280 --> 0:47:47.800
<v Speaker 1>you appear not to be really if I'm reading what

0:47:47.840 --> 0:47:50.320
<v Speaker 1>you're telling me correctly, your peer, not to really be

0:47:50.600 --> 0:47:57.400
<v Speaker 1>all that interested in advancing this to anything, and that

0:47:57.560 --> 0:48:03.160
<v Speaker 1>you're merely enjoying the tension for tension's sake.

0:48:05.320 --> 0:48:08.320
<v Speaker 5>I guess, so, yeah, gotta feel a little something.

0:48:10.280 --> 0:48:16.200
<v Speaker 1>So in that case, you know, feel the tension for

0:48:16.280 --> 0:48:21.080
<v Speaker 1>the tension's sake, Right, You don't have to really do

0:48:21.239 --> 0:48:28.080
<v Speaker 1>anything to, as you say, flirt properly. You're just enjoying

0:48:28.239 --> 0:48:32.960
<v Speaker 1>your romanticization of what this guy might think of you. Well,

0:48:33.000 --> 0:48:36.399
<v Speaker 1>hold on, you're enjoying this romanticization of what this guy

0:48:36.520 --> 0:48:38.560
<v Speaker 1>might think of you, of what could be just you're

0:48:38.600 --> 0:48:44.320
<v Speaker 1>just enjoying the daydreams for the sake of the day dreams.

0:48:44.520 --> 0:48:46.759
<v Speaker 1>And now, I don't think there's anything wrong with daydreaming,

0:48:47.160 --> 0:48:52.959
<v Speaker 1>unless if the daydreaming eventually gets to some point where

0:48:53.040 --> 0:48:59.600
<v Speaker 1>you feel like it's having some unpleasant effect on you,

0:48:59.840 --> 0:49:03.279
<v Speaker 1>or or if it's compelling you to take action of

0:49:03.440 --> 0:49:07.800
<v Speaker 1>some sort. But as of now, you just seem to

0:49:07.840 --> 0:49:09.800
<v Speaker 1>be enjoying it for the sake of it.

0:49:11.440 --> 0:49:11.920
<v Speaker 2>I hear you.

0:49:12.640 --> 0:49:17.320
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, yes, I think that's true, and it's I'm definitely

0:49:17.440 --> 0:49:20.960
<v Speaker 5>not really looking for anything right now, you know so,

0:49:21.120 --> 0:49:22.719
<v Speaker 5>But I did do the whole thing, I see. It's

0:49:22.719 --> 0:49:24.640
<v Speaker 5>the thing. I've ranticized it in my head, like I

0:49:24.760 --> 0:49:27.239
<v Speaker 5>was going on Instagram trying to figure out I don't know.

0:49:27.320 --> 0:49:29.200
<v Speaker 5>I don't even know his name, so I was trying

0:49:29.200 --> 0:49:31.200
<v Speaker 5>to see if I could figure out his name or something.

0:49:33.040 --> 0:49:35.440
<v Speaker 5>I don't know, But I guess I'll just have to

0:49:35.480 --> 0:49:37.320
<v Speaker 5>ask him. I guess that'll be the next point of

0:49:37.440 --> 0:49:38.920
<v Speaker 5>a pension. I suppose.

0:49:39.640 --> 0:49:43.880
<v Speaker 1>I think that that sounds like a much better idea

0:49:44.239 --> 0:49:46.520
<v Speaker 1>than trying to find out his name on Instagram.

0:49:48.440 --> 0:49:50.560
<v Speaker 5>I'm not the only one who does that though, Like

0:49:50.800 --> 0:49:51.600
<v Speaker 5>I know, that's.

0:49:51.400 --> 0:49:52.160
<v Speaker 2>The normal thing.

0:49:53.360 --> 0:49:54.440
<v Speaker 1>Thank you for calling, Veronica.

0:49:55.920 --> 0:49:56.920
<v Speaker 5>It was nice talking to you.

0:49:57.080 --> 0:50:02.360
<v Speaker 1>Get Hello. Hello, Hey, is this John?

0:50:04.160 --> 0:50:04.399
<v Speaker 6>Yeah?

0:50:05.040 --> 0:50:05.400
<v Speaker 1>What's up?

0:50:05.520 --> 0:50:05.759
<v Speaker 2>John?

0:50:07.160 --> 0:50:08.239
<v Speaker 6>Not much? How about you?

0:50:11.120 --> 0:50:14.520
<v Speaker 1>Well, Uh, it's a I don't know. The vibe tonight

0:50:14.680 --> 0:50:19.920
<v Speaker 1>is definitely very interesting. It's definitely very self it's very

0:50:20.120 --> 0:50:23.040
<v Speaker 1>the vibe tonight is very self healthy for every single

0:50:23.160 --> 0:50:29.920
<v Speaker 1>person involved in this in this operation right now. And

0:50:30.440 --> 0:50:35.319
<v Speaker 1>you know, look, I'm rolling with it here, John. What's uh?

0:50:35.520 --> 0:50:37.440
<v Speaker 1>What's new? Is there anything in particular you wanted to

0:50:37.440 --> 0:50:38.120
<v Speaker 1>talk about today?

0:50:41.400 --> 0:50:47.560
<v Speaker 6>Yeah? You know it wold. You know it's not long ago.

0:50:47.960 --> 0:50:55.120
<v Speaker 6>Savalentine's Wolves and yeah, I had some but nothing nice

0:50:55.160 --> 0:50:58.520
<v Speaker 6>experience this year with content today and I want to

0:50:59.360 --> 0:50:59.800
<v Speaker 6>talk about that.

0:51:00.960 --> 0:51:04.839
<v Speaker 1>You had a not nice experience with Valentine's Day? You said, yes,

0:51:05.600 --> 0:51:07.320
<v Speaker 1>what was what was this not nice experience?

0:51:09.840 --> 0:51:14.480
<v Speaker 6>So because that was my current her friend for like

0:51:15.120 --> 0:51:20.000
<v Speaker 6>one half years, and yeah, we basically said this year

0:51:20.680 --> 0:51:24.719
<v Speaker 6>we wouldn't. Yeah, we basically we set a limit for

0:51:24.920 --> 0:51:31.160
<v Speaker 6>how much money we would spend on our presence. And yeah,

0:51:32.360 --> 0:51:37.919
<v Speaker 6>so basically because flowers are expensive, pretty much just bought

0:51:37.960 --> 0:51:44.880
<v Speaker 6>her flowers and sub chocolate pretty much. Yeah, Yeah, she

0:51:45.160 --> 0:51:51.440
<v Speaker 6>was not very happy with it. She she was very well, say,

0:51:51.560 --> 0:51:57.040
<v Speaker 6>angry with me because she told me she would rather

0:51:57.200 --> 0:52:01.799
<v Speaker 6>have some chrem here crystals and so because she.

0:52:01.920 --> 0:52:05.520
<v Speaker 1>Is in victory and so okay, so hold on, so

0:52:05.640 --> 0:52:07.480
<v Speaker 1>let me get this straight. So you guys said some

0:52:07.600 --> 0:52:10.239
<v Speaker 1>sort of cost limit on your gifts. You got her

0:52:10.280 --> 0:52:15.200
<v Speaker 1>flowers and chocolate, and she angry because she was angry

0:52:15.280 --> 0:52:25.759
<v Speaker 1>because you didn't get her what she wanted. Yeah, pretty much, John, Well,

0:52:25.800 --> 0:52:26.920
<v Speaker 1>how long you've been seeing this girl for.

0:52:30.560 --> 0:52:33.200
<v Speaker 6>One and a half gifts and basically we are The

0:52:33.280 --> 0:52:37.880
<v Speaker 6>thing is, I was living in a pretty rough situation

0:52:38.000 --> 0:52:43.560
<v Speaker 6>with my family, yep, and I will we texted for

0:52:43.719 --> 0:52:47.160
<v Speaker 6>a long time and met up and basically I moved

0:52:47.320 --> 0:52:52.000
<v Speaker 6>with her to her and her mom and Yeah, I'm

0:52:52.000 --> 0:52:55.239
<v Speaker 6>now living with her and hour pretty much together with

0:52:55.400 --> 0:52:57.160
<v Speaker 6>her for one and a half years.

0:52:58.160 --> 0:53:00.800
<v Speaker 1>All right, So you're having this one issue with that?

0:53:01.320 --> 0:53:06.319
<v Speaker 1>Do you have issues with her consistently? Many, many, many,

0:53:06.640 --> 0:53:11.560
<v Speaker 1>many issues? Okay, so you have many, many issues with her.

0:53:12.000 --> 0:53:15.680
<v Speaker 1>This isn't just the one and you're living with her,

0:53:15.760 --> 0:53:18.040
<v Speaker 1>which is the whole thing to have to get out of.

0:53:22.160 --> 0:53:23.080
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, I'm looking with her.

0:53:27.080 --> 0:53:29.200
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, John, Listen. I'm not here to tell

0:53:29.280 --> 0:53:31.120
<v Speaker 1>anyone whether or not they should break up with their

0:53:31.239 --> 0:53:35.759
<v Speaker 1>significant other. But do you have a job.

0:53:36.400 --> 0:53:38.480
<v Speaker 6>I'm thinking about it, to be honest, Yeah, I have

0:53:38.560 --> 0:53:39.239
<v Speaker 6>a short.

0:53:41.719 --> 0:53:44.200
<v Speaker 1>You're an it ta Uh. Where do you live?

0:53:44.560 --> 0:53:44.600
<v Speaker 2>Like?

0:53:44.680 --> 0:53:46.520
<v Speaker 1>What what place in the universe?

0:53:46.840 --> 0:53:47.200
<v Speaker 3>Germany?

0:53:47.360 --> 0:53:50.640
<v Speaker 1>To give me your dress Germany? Do you make enough

0:53:50.680 --> 0:53:52.680
<v Speaker 1>money to go out and live by yourself or or

0:53:52.840 --> 0:53:54.520
<v Speaker 1>find a roommate and live with them.

0:53:55.040 --> 0:53:59.879
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, definitely. But the thing is it wouldn't be so bad.

0:54:00.040 --> 0:54:04.000
<v Speaker 6>Address was one thing, but you know, there are multiple

0:54:04.520 --> 0:54:09.040
<v Speaker 6>things that are pretty annoying. And I can't talk about

0:54:09.239 --> 0:54:13.200
<v Speaker 6>with her about it because my thing is I moved

0:54:13.239 --> 0:54:15.800
<v Speaker 6>up the cause of my my mom was not the

0:54:15.920 --> 0:54:20.360
<v Speaker 6>nice person to me, you know, And it's like the

0:54:20.440 --> 0:54:22.680
<v Speaker 6>same it's like I was facing my own mom. I

0:54:22.719 --> 0:54:25.360
<v Speaker 6>went to talk with her. Pretty much, she's screaming at me,

0:54:25.640 --> 0:54:28.359
<v Speaker 6>and she's not very nice.

0:54:29.840 --> 0:54:31.480
<v Speaker 1>John. I don't like this, man, I don't like that.

0:54:31.840 --> 0:54:34.680
<v Speaker 1>It seems like you sort of left one bad situation

0:54:35.400 --> 0:54:36.360
<v Speaker 1>for another one.

0:54:40.000 --> 0:54:45.239
<v Speaker 6>Pretty much, and it's it's not very stressing me out

0:54:45.400 --> 0:54:45.879
<v Speaker 6>pretty much.

0:54:46.600 --> 0:54:49.080
<v Speaker 1>So what is what is stopping you from? What do

0:54:49.120 --> 0:54:50.319
<v Speaker 1>you what do you feel like a stopping you from

0:54:50.360 --> 0:54:55.360
<v Speaker 1>breaking up with this girl and moving into another place?

0:54:58.480 --> 0:55:04.960
<v Speaker 6>You know, the thing is pretty much she I care

0:55:05.000 --> 0:55:09.920
<v Speaker 6>about her pretty much. But the thing is, I don't know.

0:55:10.280 --> 0:55:14.560
<v Speaker 6>You know, it's like I know if I would do that.

0:55:15.760 --> 0:55:19.240
<v Speaker 6>I know her that she has some self harm experience

0:55:19.320 --> 0:55:23.600
<v Speaker 6>in the past, and I don't believe want you know

0:55:26.800 --> 0:55:29.920
<v Speaker 6>that that shit happened, that she would hurt herself or

0:55:29.960 --> 0:55:30.400
<v Speaker 6>something like that.

0:55:30.560 --> 0:55:35.920
<v Speaker 1>You know, John, you talked to a real therapist about this.

0:55:40.320 --> 0:55:43.640
<v Speaker 6>I am pretty much a funny thing. I would visit

0:55:43.719 --> 0:55:48.919
<v Speaker 6>my therapist for the first session and he got yeah

0:55:49.200 --> 0:55:52.720
<v Speaker 6>COVID and not got moved for tomorrow.

0:55:53.760 --> 0:55:55.560
<v Speaker 1>Okay, all right, so you're going to talk about your

0:55:55.680 --> 0:55:57.480
<v Speaker 1>You're going to talk about this with therapist tomorrow. I

0:55:57.560 --> 0:55:59.440
<v Speaker 1>don't know what your therapist is going to say, but

0:56:01.800 --> 0:56:04.800
<v Speaker 1>what if I had to make a prediction about what

0:56:04.880 --> 0:56:07.800
<v Speaker 1>they say? Or you know, what I've heard people's therapists

0:56:08.600 --> 0:56:13.719
<v Speaker 1>say when this issue comes up is that you I

0:56:13.920 --> 0:56:18.080
<v Speaker 1>get it. You're an empathetic guy. You're someone that cares

0:56:18.120 --> 0:56:20.719
<v Speaker 1>about other people. And so the idea that somebody would

0:56:20.760 --> 0:56:22.800
<v Speaker 1>harm themselves because.

0:56:24.440 --> 0:56:25.440
<v Speaker 2>Of like.

0:56:27.640 --> 0:56:30.640
<v Speaker 1>You leaving them quote because of you leaving them, We

0:56:30.680 --> 0:56:38.719
<v Speaker 1>have no idea why anyone does anything. Really, ultimately, that's

0:56:38.760 --> 0:56:42.680
<v Speaker 1>not your responsibility. Other people's happiness and well being is

0:56:42.880 --> 0:56:46.880
<v Speaker 1>never your responsibility. Really.

0:56:47.280 --> 0:56:50.160
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, but that's the thing I really have problems with

0:56:50.680 --> 0:56:53.799
<v Speaker 6>just because I'm not putting myself person I'm always thinking

0:56:53.800 --> 0:56:54.160
<v Speaker 6>about it.

0:56:55.680 --> 0:57:02.879
<v Speaker 1>You know, it's hard to do. And again, there's something there, right,

0:57:02.960 --> 0:57:05.080
<v Speaker 1>I think there's something there because there's a delicate balance

0:57:05.200 --> 0:57:10.000
<v Speaker 1>between selflessness and selfishness that a lot of people haven't,

0:57:10.400 --> 0:57:14.520
<v Speaker 1>myself included, have a lot of trouble striking that balance.

0:57:15.560 --> 0:57:21.440
<v Speaker 1>But you do need to realize that other people's happiness

0:57:21.680 --> 0:57:28.080
<v Speaker 1>is not something that is within your control, or else

0:57:28.160 --> 0:57:31.040
<v Speaker 1>you'll just be a slave to it your entire life.

0:57:31.920 --> 0:57:33.280
<v Speaker 1>You know, I don't know how old you are. How

0:57:33.320 --> 0:57:41.680
<v Speaker 1>old are you twenty two, twenty two. Okay, great, this

0:57:41.880 --> 0:57:44.000
<v Speaker 1>is something and I'm sure you're going to talk about

0:57:44.000 --> 0:57:49.160
<v Speaker 1>this all your next therapy session, and I'm sure your

0:57:49.200 --> 0:57:53.840
<v Speaker 1>real therapist will know exactly what to say. But you

0:57:54.280 --> 0:57:58.960
<v Speaker 1>need to nip this in the bud because you can't

0:57:59.680 --> 0:58:03.840
<v Speaker 1>be living your life at the whim of other people

0:58:04.640 --> 0:58:09.240
<v Speaker 1>all the time. And you got to realize that their

0:58:09.400 --> 0:58:14.960
<v Speaker 1>happiness is ultimately their own work, just as your happiness

0:58:15.040 --> 0:58:16.959
<v Speaker 1>is your own work. Does that make sense?

0:58:19.960 --> 0:58:20.800
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, it makes sense.

0:58:22.600 --> 0:58:23.040
<v Speaker 3>What do you do?

0:58:23.440 --> 0:58:24.040
<v Speaker 1>You said you do it?

0:58:24.520 --> 0:58:27.280
<v Speaker 6>But hmm, yeah, I'm in it.

0:58:27.400 --> 0:58:32.800
<v Speaker 1>T what's Germany like? Is it nice? I kind of

0:58:32.840 --> 0:58:33.160
<v Speaker 1>want to go.

0:58:33.360 --> 0:58:37.200
<v Speaker 6>It's pretty nice when you're having home office and you

0:58:37.400 --> 0:58:39.160
<v Speaker 6>basically it doesn't have to move in.

0:58:41.160 --> 0:58:42.360
<v Speaker 1>Where a city in Germany?

0:58:44.920 --> 0:58:49.600
<v Speaker 6>Uh, I'm a near Cologne, I would say Cologne. I

0:58:49.600 --> 0:58:50.360
<v Speaker 6>don't know what that is.

0:58:51.400 --> 0:58:52.960
<v Speaker 1>I don't know why I asked what city in Germany?

0:58:52.960 --> 0:58:53.720
<v Speaker 1>Because I only know.

0:58:55.400 --> 0:58:55.600
<v Speaker 2>I can.

0:58:55.640 --> 0:58:57.600
<v Speaker 1>I think I think I can. I think I can

0:58:57.680 --> 0:58:59.800
<v Speaker 1>only name three cities in Germany. I know there's pro

0:59:00.080 --> 0:59:04.640
<v Speaker 1>in all right, I can name one city in Germany.

0:59:06.320 --> 0:59:12.520
<v Speaker 1>M John, good luck to you and you're a therapist,

0:59:12.600 --> 0:59:16.960
<v Speaker 1>I said, hello, thanks? Can I John, Thanks, I will

0:59:17.560 --> 0:59:25.080
<v Speaker 1>John John John John John, I liked John. Hello, Hello,

0:59:26.120 --> 0:59:26.520
<v Speaker 1>how are you?

0:59:29.040 --> 0:59:30.120
<v Speaker 3>I'm good? How are you kid?

0:59:31.200 --> 0:59:33.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm doing good? Ryan, Ryan. It says here you want

0:59:33.280 --> 0:59:34.800
<v Speaker 1>to know if it's a good idea to move nine

0:59:34.880 --> 0:59:36.480
<v Speaker 1>hundred miles away all by yourself.

0:59:38.880 --> 0:59:41.040
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, h.

0:59:42.520 --> 0:59:43.880
<v Speaker 1>Where where we Where are we moving to.

0:59:46.760 --> 0:59:47.160
<v Speaker 3>Ohio?

0:59:48.600 --> 0:59:54.520
<v Speaker 1>Where are we're moving? From Florida, Florida to Ohio? The

0:59:54.560 --> 1:00:01.280
<v Speaker 1>classic down, up, down to up drive all right, So

1:00:01.440 --> 1:00:03.880
<v Speaker 1>tell me what's going on in Florida and then tell

1:00:03.960 --> 1:00:05.160
<v Speaker 1>me what's going on in Ohio.

1:00:07.680 --> 1:00:12.840
<v Speaker 7>Some big life changes, you know, separated from my partner

1:00:13.000 --> 1:00:16.120
<v Speaker 7>of almost eight years. Being in this area is a

1:00:16.120 --> 1:00:21.720
<v Speaker 7>little depressing. I visited Ohio about a month ago by myself,

1:00:22.080 --> 1:00:24.640
<v Speaker 7>drove up, spent some time up there, made some friends,

1:00:25.320 --> 1:00:30.640
<v Speaker 7>called sites, and I really enjoyed it. So I kind

1:00:30.720 --> 1:00:32.920
<v Speaker 7>of made the last second decision.

1:00:32.600 --> 1:00:33.480
<v Speaker 3>To move up there.

1:00:35.840 --> 1:00:36.680
<v Speaker 1>Have you found a place?

1:00:38.960 --> 1:00:43.360
<v Speaker 7>I've been looking on the rental apps and whatnot looking around.

1:00:44.200 --> 1:00:46.960
<v Speaker 7>Cost of living is cheaper up there.

1:00:47.320 --> 1:00:47.880
<v Speaker 3>You know, with.

1:00:49.520 --> 1:00:52.320
<v Speaker 7>Everything that's going on, So I think it might be good,

1:00:52.560 --> 1:00:56.600
<v Speaker 7>but I wanted to get an unbiased opinion on.

1:00:56.680 --> 1:00:59.920
<v Speaker 1>It, right, So the fact that you called me is

1:01:01.640 --> 1:01:07.600
<v Speaker 1>signaling that you have some apprehension about it, whether or

1:01:07.680 --> 1:01:10.320
<v Speaker 1>not founded. What is your apprehension?

1:01:13.680 --> 1:01:17.520
<v Speaker 7>Just moving that far away from all of my family

1:01:18.120 --> 1:01:21.440
<v Speaker 7>by myself, you know, I'd be packing my car up

1:01:22.200 --> 1:01:29.160
<v Speaker 7>with my closest possessions, driving the ten hours and hoping

1:01:29.240 --> 1:01:29.760
<v Speaker 7>it works out.

1:01:32.320 --> 1:01:33.880
<v Speaker 1>You know, Man, not to make this about me, but

1:01:34.000 --> 1:01:36.960
<v Speaker 1>I just did that. Actually I just did that like

1:01:38.120 --> 1:01:43.640
<v Speaker 1>a month or so ago, and really yeah, yeah. And

1:01:45.800 --> 1:01:49.040
<v Speaker 1>my philosophy, and this is me talking to myself right now,

1:01:52.000 --> 1:02:03.800
<v Speaker 1>is that life is short, right, And I think it

1:02:03.920 --> 1:02:06.880
<v Speaker 1>all kind of depends on what you value. I know,

1:02:07.040 --> 1:02:10.479
<v Speaker 1>for me, when I die, I really want to feel

1:02:10.560 --> 1:02:19.640
<v Speaker 1>like I lived some bit of a storied life, you know,

1:02:20.120 --> 1:02:27.080
<v Speaker 1>of a varied of varied experiences, and I feel like

1:02:27.640 --> 1:02:37.680
<v Speaker 1>living in different places is part of that. So even

1:02:37.720 --> 1:02:42.640
<v Speaker 1>though you are leaving behind a lot of comfort, you're

1:02:43.560 --> 1:02:48.960
<v Speaker 1>rolling the dice in an interesting way. You're allowing the

1:02:49.120 --> 1:02:56.840
<v Speaker 1>possibility for new places and new things to become part

1:02:56.920 --> 1:03:00.800
<v Speaker 1>of your life's story and diversify it and make it

1:03:00.920 --> 1:03:08.000
<v Speaker 1>that much more comfortable. And it's very hard to roll

1:03:08.080 --> 1:03:12.880
<v Speaker 1>those dice and take that risk, but your life will

1:03:12.920 --> 1:03:16.800
<v Speaker 1>be a little bit more colorful as a result. If

1:03:16.880 --> 1:03:19.480
<v Speaker 1>that's important to you. I don't know if.

1:03:19.760 --> 1:03:22.040
<v Speaker 7>And that's what I was thinking when I went up

1:03:22.040 --> 1:03:24.880
<v Speaker 7>there by myself. I kind of threw myself out there.

1:03:25.040 --> 1:03:28.000
<v Speaker 7>I went out, I made some friends. I was talking

1:03:28.080 --> 1:03:31.080
<v Speaker 7>with new people, you know, people I had never knew before.

1:03:31.800 --> 1:03:36.360
<v Speaker 7>I was walking around the city by myself, and one

1:03:36.400 --> 1:03:38.320
<v Speaker 7>of the friends I made, I was talking with him

1:03:38.320 --> 1:03:42.360
<v Speaker 7>about it when I came back home, and he was like, yeah, man,

1:03:42.440 --> 1:03:45.280
<v Speaker 7>that sounds good. You know, with my line of work,

1:03:45.480 --> 1:03:47.960
<v Speaker 7>you know, I could get a job fairly easily and

1:03:48.640 --> 1:03:51.240
<v Speaker 7>I'd be able to make it. But I just I

1:03:51.360 --> 1:03:55.360
<v Speaker 7>was a little apprehensive because I'd be going by myself,

1:03:56.120 --> 1:03:59.520
<v Speaker 7>you know, almost nine hundred miles away, starting a whole

1:03:59.600 --> 1:04:03.240
<v Speaker 7>new life by myself, and I was a little worried.

1:04:03.840 --> 1:04:05.760
<v Speaker 7>I am still a little worried that it may not

1:04:05.880 --> 1:04:10.200
<v Speaker 7>work out. But I have confidence that at my age,

1:04:10.680 --> 1:04:14.400
<v Speaker 7>I could start a life in a new area that

1:04:15.480 --> 1:04:19.680
<v Speaker 7>me or my family has never been to. You know,

1:04:19.880 --> 1:04:24.040
<v Speaker 7>I can make something of myself in a new area

1:04:24.720 --> 1:04:30.400
<v Speaker 7>and just kind of live my life as who I

1:04:30.560 --> 1:04:34.439
<v Speaker 7>am versus basing it off of somebody else.

1:04:36.000 --> 1:04:38.400
<v Speaker 1>Right, right, when you move away from all your friends

1:04:38.440 --> 1:04:41.840
<v Speaker 1>and family, there's also this very interesting opportunity. You have to, like,

1:04:42.880 --> 1:04:46.520
<v Speaker 1>as you just said, see who you are and develop

1:04:46.560 --> 1:04:52.480
<v Speaker 1>who you are under no influence from other people. That's

1:04:52.480 --> 1:04:54.960
<v Speaker 1>a really important thing to do because you kind of

1:04:55.080 --> 1:04:59.040
<v Speaker 1>become the equivalent of the five people you hang out

1:04:59.080 --> 1:05:02.000
<v Speaker 1>with the most. And when you go to a new

1:05:02.040 --> 1:05:05.000
<v Speaker 1>place and you're not hanging out with those people, you're

1:05:05.200 --> 1:05:12.520
<v Speaker 1>given an opportunity to find out other sides of yourself

1:05:12.600 --> 1:05:16.200
<v Speaker 1>that might be awakened by the people that you meet

1:05:16.680 --> 1:05:21.320
<v Speaker 1>or the things you see. And again, when we're talking

1:05:21.360 --> 1:05:28.640
<v Speaker 1>about building a colored life experience, we're not only finding

1:05:28.880 --> 1:05:31.320
<v Speaker 1>new things about a place, we're also finding out new

1:05:31.360 --> 1:05:35.520
<v Speaker 1>things about ourselves as we're trying new stuff and talking

1:05:35.560 --> 1:05:37.920
<v Speaker 1>to new people who bring out different sides of us.

1:05:39.480 --> 1:05:43.040
<v Speaker 1>You know, I think there's a lot of value in

1:05:43.160 --> 1:05:47.640
<v Speaker 1>doing and you know, yeah, man, I'm about your age,

1:05:48.640 --> 1:05:54.479
<v Speaker 1>and personally, I feel like the more in my life

1:05:54.560 --> 1:05:59.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm able to pack up, move and start again, the

1:05:59.160 --> 1:06:02.680
<v Speaker 1>more I feel I feel very empowered by that. You know,

1:06:02.880 --> 1:06:06.440
<v Speaker 1>if I can pack up, move, live somewhere for a

1:06:06.520 --> 1:06:09.840
<v Speaker 1>couple of years, pack up, move again, live somewhere for

1:06:09.920 --> 1:06:12.480
<v Speaker 1>a couple of years, pack up, move again, you know,

1:06:12.760 --> 1:06:16.920
<v Speaker 1>But by the time i'm you know, whatever, old and settled,

1:06:17.760 --> 1:06:22.320
<v Speaker 1>I'll have. I'll have that much more wisdom and experience

1:06:23.200 --> 1:06:26.760
<v Speaker 1>being a person in different places. And I think there's

1:06:26.760 --> 1:06:27.680
<v Speaker 1>a lot of value to that.

1:06:30.920 --> 1:06:33.160
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, I thought the same thing. With me still being

1:06:33.360 --> 1:06:37.400
<v Speaker 7>you know, relatively young, I can, you know, plant myself

1:06:37.440 --> 1:06:40.520
<v Speaker 7>somewhere else, spread out a little bit and if it

1:06:40.560 --> 1:06:44.000
<v Speaker 7>comes down to it, and move again and expand my

1:06:44.120 --> 1:06:47.200
<v Speaker 7>horizons as as far as my body will let me.

1:06:48.640 --> 1:06:48.840
<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

1:06:48.920 --> 1:06:51.000
<v Speaker 1>Man, you know, good luck to you. Ryan. This was

1:06:51.200 --> 1:06:52.840
<v Speaker 1>this was a good call. It was good. I felt

1:06:52.880 --> 1:06:56.439
<v Speaker 1>like I was talking to myself here because, as I said,

1:06:57.400 --> 1:07:00.160
<v Speaker 1>I really appreciate that. Yeah, for sure, Man, have a

1:07:00.160 --> 1:07:03.280
<v Speaker 1>good rest of the night, you too, I love you,

1:07:05.080 --> 1:07:09.040
<v Speaker 1>Love you too, Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, Ryan. No, I really

1:07:09.040 --> 1:07:12.360
<v Speaker 1>felt like I was talking to myself just then, because yeah,

1:07:12.400 --> 1:07:17.400
<v Speaker 1>I just moved across the country about a month ago.

1:07:18.680 --> 1:07:21.280
<v Speaker 1>And Yeah, as I was talking to Ryan just now,

1:07:21.280 --> 1:07:23.200
<v Speaker 1>it was like remembering all the reasons why not to

1:07:23.280 --> 1:07:24.880
<v Speaker 1>again make this about me, But I was remembering all

1:07:24.920 --> 1:07:29.480
<v Speaker 1>the reasons why I did that. Uh, because I want

1:07:29.520 --> 1:07:34.840
<v Speaker 1>to live a colorful life. Talk to a bunch of people,

1:07:36.200 --> 1:07:39.720
<v Speaker 1>see a bunch of things, go a bunch of places

1:07:40.760 --> 1:07:47.880
<v Speaker 1>and then die. It sounds nice, but you gotta get

1:07:47.920 --> 1:07:51.000
<v Speaker 1>out of your comfort zone. That's very hard to do.

1:07:53.320 --> 1:07:56.640
<v Speaker 4>Goes on the line, thinks every night.

1:07:58.880 --> 1:07:59.520
<v Speaker 2>I was teaching you.

1:08:00.480 --> 1:08:03.600
<v Speaker 5>You're like, but it's not really an expert