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Speaker 1: Hi, is this Corey?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it is.

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Speaker 1: How are you doing, Corey?

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Speaker 2: I'm pretty good, man.

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Speaker 3: How are you?

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Speaker 4: Uh?

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Speaker 1: Man, I'm just a gecko on the computer. Corey. What's

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Speaker 1: what's going on with you?

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Speaker 2: Oh, dude? Lately, I've just been doing the whole work thing.

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Speaker 2: Moved back home, d graduating. Yeah, you know, the whole

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Speaker 2: is just working, making that money.

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Speaker 1: You be back home after graduating, and how's how's being

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Speaker 1: at home?

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Speaker 5: Ah?

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Speaker 3: Good? Good, dude.

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Speaker 2: I moved back in looked like my my lifelong buddy

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Speaker 2: who I've you know, missed, especially being being gone for

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Speaker 2: for five years and stuff. So, uh, we're hanging out

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Speaker 2: and we're we're enjoying being to bachelors, you know, taking

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Speaker 2: on the world.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Man, that's uh, that's cool. I know a

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Speaker 1: lot of people we we've talked to some people tonight

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Speaker 1: who are like trying to leave their hometown in search

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Speaker 1: of greater adventure. But you seem like you're very much

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Speaker 1: enjoying being being back with your with your homie and

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Speaker 1: your hometown.

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Speaker 2: Dude.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And you know what's crazy is that like I moved

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Speaker 2: home back here where my parents did live, and my

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Speaker 2: parents moved across the country, and so so both my sisters.

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Speaker 2: So I'm like the only one of like my family

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Speaker 2: that is still in the hometown. But I'm still I'm

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Speaker 2: cool with that. It's it's comfortable, you know, And I

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Speaker 2: think in a couple of years I'm trying to like

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Speaker 2: do some like really bold traveling uh across uh across

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Speaker 2: the world and live in Europe or something like that.

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Speaker 2: But but for now, I'm just kind of relaxing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, where in uh, where in the world do you

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Speaker 1: want to go?

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Speaker 6: See, dude?

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Speaker 2: So basically, lately I've been experiencing and toying with o'megal

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Speaker 2: to like practice socializing and learn about people, and man,

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Speaker 2: that's been a lot of fun. Like yesterday I talked

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Speaker 2: to an Irish dude. I talked to a Italian who

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Speaker 2: is like going to school in Scotland. He was really cool,

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Speaker 2: and he told me a lot about how cool the

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Speaker 2: Netherlands were and how I should go there, and how

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Speaker 2: I should go to Scotland because obviously he's going to

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Speaker 2: school there, so he thought it was really cool, you know.

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Speaker 2: I mean, there's so many places in Europe compared to

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Speaker 2: the States, that I think would be would be culturally

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Speaker 2: really cool to see.

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Speaker 1: Have you done a lot of traveling before in your life?

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Speaker 2: You know, my mom really really liked to travel, so

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Speaker 2: growing up, I've seen a lot of the Fifty States.

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Speaker 2: I really like Yellowstone. I've been to Hawaii like twice,

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Speaker 2: you know, likes there's a lot of places, the Black Hills,

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Speaker 2: even in uh, the Dakotas are super cool. But yeah,

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Speaker 2: I've done I've done quite a bit of traveling, and

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Speaker 2: I haven't done as much as i'd like to in

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Speaker 2: my my young adult life.

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Speaker 1: And have you gone out of the country before?

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Speaker 2: Uh, you know, I don't think anything more interesting though,

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Speaker 2: I think like Mexico sometime before I would even remember,

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Speaker 2: and then maybe, uh, maybe I went to Canada at

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Speaker 2: some point, but no, nothing else.

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Speaker 1: Man, you know this is cool. We're about the same age,

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Speaker 1: it seems. And uh, you know, I'm I'm inspired by

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Speaker 1: you actually, because you seem like you have a very

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Speaker 1: much a lust for life, Like I can really hear

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Speaker 1: it in your voice, you know you And I'm projecting

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Speaker 1: a whole bunch of stuff on you right now, but

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Speaker 1: I really like the way that you have this simultaneous

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Speaker 1: us appreciation for where you are at this very moment,

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Speaker 1: combined with an excitement for the future and a desire

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Speaker 1: for what's in the future, Like that's that's I mean,

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Speaker 1: that's the most hard, hard balance to strike, right because

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Speaker 1: if you get too complacent living in your hometown, you're

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Speaker 1: never gonna you know, improve or experience more or go

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Speaker 1: out to try to live a color for life. But

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Speaker 1: if you're always you know, going on our slash travel

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Speaker 1: and dreaming about only what's out there, then you miss

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Speaker 1: all the shit that's right in front of your face.

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Speaker 1: And it's the hardest, hardest struggle to balance. And you know,

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Speaker 1: I've only been on the phone with you for five minutes,

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Speaker 1: but it seems like you're doing a really good job

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Speaker 1: at that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, I love that you have all that to say, because,

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Speaker 2: like one of my biggest inspirations, it is the show

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Speaker 2: you should you should check it out. It's an anime

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Speaker 2: called Golden Boy, and it's about this super smart dude

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Speaker 2: who is just a goofy, goofy motherfucker. But he graduated

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Speaker 2: or he's about to graduate, like law school or some shit,

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Speaker 2: and he decides to just drop out because he thinks

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Speaker 2: that was going to be too to cookie cut over

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Speaker 2: life for him, and he starts to just travel and

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Speaker 2: go around and do all these like weird odd jobs

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Speaker 2: just for a short period of time, just so he

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Speaker 2: can experience it and so he can have a lot

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Speaker 2: of fun learning about something new. And he's a real

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Speaker 2: goofy like perverted dude. But I mean the show, the

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Speaker 2: show's really funny, but it's inspiring in the same in

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Speaker 2: the same regard. And I'm happy you kind of hear

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Speaker 2: that and in me because I kind of want to

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Speaker 2: be like that. Like right now, do I have like

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Speaker 2: a music degree And right now I'm delivering packages for

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Speaker 2: FedEx kind of climbing for like this small dude that's

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Speaker 2: contracted for them. But I love that job man, being

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Speaker 2: able to just like drive around and stuff. It's it's

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Speaker 2: a hell of a lot of fun and see all the

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Speaker 2: animals and whatnot.

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Speaker 1: M hmm. When do you plan on taking your adventures?

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Speaker 1: Do you do?

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Speaker 2: You?

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Speaker 1: How how much longer do you plan staying in the

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Speaker 1: hometown for.

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Speaker 2: I think the track that I'm making and saving money,

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Speaker 2: I think in a couple of years, I could feasibly

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Speaker 2: look into doing something for at least a year. If

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Speaker 2: I wanted to do longer, I might have to, like

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Speaker 2: plan a little differently, but that's that's about how I

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Speaker 2: want to see the timeframes play out.

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Speaker 1: That's nice, Yeah, dude. Like I said, it's it's so

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Speaker 1: interesting to hear from you. I feel like I'm learning

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Speaker 1: from you, you know, because like you know, a lot

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Speaker 1: of people they would have that mindset of like, ah,

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Speaker 1: I'm driving for you know, delivering packages in my hometown.

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Speaker 1: This sucks. But in two years, I have this plan

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Speaker 1: I'm going to travel the world and and then I'll

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Speaker 1: be happy, you know. But I love what I'm hearing

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Speaker 1: from you, Like you know, in two years, I'm going

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Speaker 1: to travel the world and it'll be exciting. But I'm

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Speaker 1: happy right now and I'll be happy then as well.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 1: It's it's it's truly like one of the hardest things

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Speaker 1: to do, and it's it's really cool to hear it

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Speaker 1: from you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, man, And like you know, I had a couple

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Speaker 2: of years where I didn't think I was going to

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Speaker 2: have like that mindset again, you know, we the the

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Speaker 2: early twenties are are hard on a lot of us,

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Speaker 2: and you know, you get into like a foggy mindset

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Speaker 2: of of you know, a foma you know, if you're

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Speaker 2: missing out and tough, and you you kind of lock

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Speaker 2: down on yourself, but eventually you just kind of got

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Speaker 2: to appreciate what you got going on and obviously strive

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Speaker 2: for something more. But it's the idea of looking that

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Speaker 2: far ahead or expecting too much of yourself is stressful.

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Speaker 2: Then just you know, chill out, just be cool with

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Speaker 2: being simple. If you like to be at your computer,

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Speaker 2: or if you like to watch shows and watch them

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Speaker 2: over and over and it's like a comfort space for you,

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Speaker 2: you should enjoy that. But always have that kind of

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Speaker 2: mindset that, hey, I'd like to do more potentially, but

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Speaker 2: only if it's cool with me.

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Speaker 1: So you say that in your early twenties, so you

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Speaker 1: say that this mindset that you've adopted, it wasn't always

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Speaker 1: like this in your early twenties. You had a lot

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Speaker 1: of fomo. I mean, tell me about your mindset in

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Speaker 1: those early twenties.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I guess for I dated a girl

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Speaker 2: from like the end of high school, from when I

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Speaker 2: when I was like seventeen until I was probably twenty two,

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Speaker 2: and when we broke off, that was that was that

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Speaker 2: that time because I had to kind of relearn independence

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Speaker 2: because i'd been with somebody who we're you know, inseparable,

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Speaker 2: you know, go depending kind of relationship. But you know,

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Speaker 2: I want to I don't want to a healthy codependent

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Speaker 2: because you really shouldn't be, and I've learned that that's

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Speaker 2: that's a hard thing to balance in a relationship. But

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Speaker 2: all the same, I was used stabbing somebody like like

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Speaker 2: tight like that, and so exploring that that, uh, that

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Speaker 2: loneliness out of out of kind of nowhere was you know,

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Speaker 2: where I had to two decide or like I guess,

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Speaker 2: not decide, but work on that mindset.

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Speaker 1: So hey, it also says here that you wanted to

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Speaker 1: tell me about a time you tried crack cocaine.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, that's okay, so uh like sidebar, Like, I'm

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Speaker 2: I'm insecure about the story because I've told it a

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Speaker 2: handful of times and to some of my friends it

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Speaker 2: just seems so outlandish, and I'm sure it's gonna sound

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Speaker 2: the outlandish, so it's like a fake story or something.

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Speaker 2: But bear with me and just kind.

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Speaker 1: Of I tell you, I trust you. I'd like to

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Speaker 1: think that the people listening trust you. You've you've exerted

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Speaker 1: yourself to be a truthful, genuine person. I I and

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Speaker 1: I would love to hear the story of you try

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Speaker 1: and crack cocaine.

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Speaker 2: Sick sick. Okay, So I went to college in Omaha, Nebraska.

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Speaker 2: I'm I'm delivering pizzas and sandwiches for this sandwich shop downtown,

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Speaker 2: and late on like a Friday or Saturday night or something,

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Speaker 2: I drop a pie up, you know somewhere up kind

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Speaker 2: of in the northern part of downtown, which is considered

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Speaker 2: the ghetto of the area by like a homeless shelter,

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Speaker 2: and the dude kind of like comes up to my

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Speaker 2: window or you know, gets near my car and it's like, hey, man, amen,

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Speaker 2: get a canying a ride and something, you know whatever.

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Speaker 2: I work here, but I just need to get a

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Speaker 2: few blocks down the road or whatever. I'm like, man,

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Speaker 2: it's it's flow at the shop. I'll kill some time. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: why not get up and and I'm going to get

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna give this dude to ride real quick. We

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Speaker 2: end up going driving way further than I anticipated up

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Speaker 2: into like North omahaway out of my delivery range and stuff.

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Speaker 2: But again, we were slow at the moment, and I

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Speaker 2: didn't want to go do shop work. But I take

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Speaker 2: him to this place and he's like, hey, I just

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Speaker 2: need to stop here real quick and then you'll take

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Speaker 2: me to the actual place I'm going to go. Kind

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Speaker 2: of weird, but I waited out because I'm I'm a

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Speaker 2: guy that doesn't say no to.

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Speaker 3: People very well.

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Speaker 2: But basically comes back out and gets gets in the

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Speaker 2: car and then we start driving back pretty much right

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Speaker 2: back to where we were Initially. We we went way

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Speaker 2: further than we needed to, and I had no idea

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Speaker 2: why at the time. But while we're driving back, he

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Speaker 2: starts telling me these stories about his son coming out

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Speaker 2: of the closet and how he actually found out that

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Speaker 2: through his son deciding that he was gay, that he

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Speaker 2: was willing to explore himself more, all this kind of

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Speaker 2: weird stuff. And I was like, I was like, cool, man,

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Speaker 2: good for you. I'm I'm glad you you gave your

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Speaker 2: son that uh love and and whatnot. Then I don't know,

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Speaker 2: we get to something else and and he asked me,

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Speaker 2: He's like, so, so you get high. I'm like, man,

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Speaker 2: I'm a pizza guy. Of course I get high.

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Speaker 3: Uh uh.

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Speaker 2: He was like, but you get like high high. And

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Speaker 2: I was like, I've done some I've done some psychedelics,

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Speaker 2: and stuff in my life or whatever, you like, you know,

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Speaker 2: coke school eyes light up when I say the words coke.

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Speaker 2: And he just starts digging into his sock all of

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Speaker 2: a sudden, and he.

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Speaker 1: Sock he's wearing, he's dark, digging into it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, Oh dude, I'm I'm telling you in a

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Speaker 2: couple of minutes, you're you're not gonna believe me as

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Speaker 2: a as a person. But he pulls up this JANKI

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Speaker 2: looking crack pipe and and uh a little baggy just

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Speaker 2: tied up off like a Walmart sack or whatever, and

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Speaker 2: some crystal looking looking ship. And I'm like, oh, I'm

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Speaker 2: like crack. And he's like free base on free base,

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Speaker 2: like okay, crack or and.

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Speaker 1: I'm an like, that's a combination of crack, and that's crack, cocaine.

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Speaker 2: Free free bases, free based cocaine, e g. Crack. And

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Speaker 2: you know you never say no to never say no

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Speaker 2: to free crack is the saying I heard one, but

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Speaker 2: I suppose But anyway, Uh so, I'm like, uh, ship, okay,

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Speaker 2: do you know what whatever? And he's like, pull over here,

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Speaker 2: here's a good spot, you know, kind of guys near

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Speaker 2: the side of the road. And pull over, and guy

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Speaker 2: says to me, you cannot shotgun you And I don't

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Speaker 2: know if you know what a shotgun is. There's different

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Speaker 2: ways that people do it. Often it's the way people

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Speaker 2: like help people that don't really know how to smoke. Anyway,

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Speaker 2: I don't ask me why I'm I just say, you know, yes, sure,

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Speaker 2: why not? But but old boy gets all excited. He

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Speaker 2: takes his hit of the crack through the jankass pipe,

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Speaker 2: grabs my head by by you know, the size of

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Speaker 2: my head. Plants went on me and blows them crack

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Speaker 2: into my lungs through like a through like a kiss.

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Speaker 2: And yeah, I was just like whoa that? You know,

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Speaker 2: it's kind of like like lean back. Actually mistake made.

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Speaker 2: I opened my eyes while that was happening, and surprisingly

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Speaker 2: I was disappointed to see that his eyes were closed.

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Speaker 2: Think I'd rather see them open. Like he was concentrated,

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Speaker 2: but he was concentrated in a different way anyway. I

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Speaker 2: was just taken back, and now I'm getting high rather

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Speaker 2: rather quickly. I'm like shit, and he goes here here, here,

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Speaker 2: you do it to me, and I go no, but

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Speaker 2: I'll take a hit, And he was like okay. It

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Speaker 2: was one one and only time I was ever gonna

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Speaker 2: kiss a likely homeless guy. And you know it's funny.

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Speaker 2: Actually I take my hit, you know, that's that's the

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Speaker 2: end of that part. But what's funny is it took

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Speaker 2: me years to realize that I probably took him to

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Speaker 2: buy the crack. I didn't every it didn't ever even

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Speaker 2: occur to me that like the fact that I took

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Speaker 2: him back some weird like way deep north on Maha

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Speaker 2: Spot and then back to where we were like initially

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Speaker 2: probably where he lived. Probably just gave him like a

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Speaker 2: free ten minute drive to his dealers.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, he got a.

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Speaker 1: Lot, He got a buddy to smoke crack with. He

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Speaker 1: got a kiss.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he did get a kiss. I mean, you know,

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Speaker 2: I didn't. I didn't use any tongue or anything, like

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Speaker 2: I told my girlfriend after I simply hung out with

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Speaker 2: him for a little bit, let him talk about his life,

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Speaker 2: let him explore his sexuality maybe a little bit. When

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Speaker 2: I took him back and I take him to the

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Speaker 2: place sole took some sort of shelter or something, And

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Speaker 2: as I'm trapping him off, he was just like, can

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Speaker 2: I have your email address? I was like, you do

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Speaker 2: that for that I was like, no, Henry or Richard,

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Speaker 2: I can't remember what his name was, but this was

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Speaker 2: I said, this was enough adventure for me. I appreciate you, man,

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Speaker 2: and we shake hands or whatever, and he said, you know,

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Speaker 2: he says, God, bless you. I said, bless you too,

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Speaker 2: and I go back to work and I did the

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Speaker 2: ship out of some dishes. Man, I was gacked.

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Speaker 1: Corey, Corey, Uh, Corey, you are You're a say yes

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Speaker 1: to life kind of guy, aren't you, dude?

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Speaker 2: And it rarely I see, I'm I'm a lucky guy.

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Speaker 7: Man.

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Speaker 2: You I don't think it's a good idea to be

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Speaker 2: that person kind of like a yes man, so to speak,

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Speaker 2: like the movie teaches you. But but shit, it's been

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Speaker 2: good to me to be that type speacause I've been

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Speaker 2: lucky with the people I've met, and like a lot

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Speaker 2: of the times that I've been like that, it's rewarded me.

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Speaker 2: That's why I've had a had a good time when

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Speaker 2: I said yes to things. You know, my girlfriend was

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Speaker 2: mad at me that night, but like.

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Speaker 1: She was, you kind of how long was the was

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Speaker 1: the was the kiss with this guy?

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Speaker 2: It was as long as it takes to exhale some crack, so.

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Speaker 1: But I don't know's very like, it's very giving of

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Speaker 1: you to to let I was receiving man exploring himself

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Speaker 1: with you.

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Speaker 2: I think, I think so maybe I do trust me

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Speaker 2: that I don't want to say he didn't ask for

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Speaker 2: consent because he asked me, and like maybe I was thinking,

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Speaker 2: I don't know. I thought maybe he was like, maybe

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Speaker 2: he doesn't want to touch my dirty crack pipes, so

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna blow it from a distance. I don't know, dude,

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Speaker 2: it surprised me. I didn't intentionally think I love I'm

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Speaker 2: a plan one on this guy, but when it happened,

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Speaker 2: it is kind of just what it is.

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Speaker 6: You know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not, I'm not. My sexuality isn't too fragile

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Speaker 2: or too too I don't like the Actually, I don't

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Speaker 2: like the phrase fragile sexuality.

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Speaker 1: Just because you're confident about who you are and and

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Speaker 1: and whatnot, and that you know small instances of things

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Speaker 1: aren't going to make you compromise that. You know, Corey,

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Speaker 1: I'm uh get.

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Speaker 5: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't know why, but this story about you picking

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Speaker 1: up this man and letting him blow crack smoke into

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Speaker 1: your mouth via a kiss, it's it's it's inspiring to me.

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Speaker 1: I don't know everything about your Corey, I I you know,

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Speaker 1: the just your mindset about things is like proving further

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Speaker 1: and further how important that is. You know, your perspective

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Speaker 1: on things and whatnot. You seem like you've got a

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Speaker 1: very uh refined, refined one.

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Speaker 2: And I've been coming to you podcasts recently for like, uh,

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Speaker 2: you know, more perspective on life. You know, I think

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Speaker 2: it's interesting how we all can learn something from each other,

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00:19:09,119 --> 00:19:10,919
Speaker 2: or like we all can you know, look up to

352
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:14,399
Speaker 2: the same people that you know look up so to

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Speaker 2: speak to to us.

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Speaker 1: So, Corey Crack Cocaine, would you do it again?

355
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Speaker 2: You know, I think you're not supposed to. I think

356
00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:30,520
Speaker 2: they like you, like thet from you're not supposed to.

357
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:33,760
Speaker 2: But like Crack, you never say no toice to crack once,

358
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Speaker 2: but like you know, the second time, maybe maybe not,

359
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:41,280
Speaker 2: because then there's there's a reason you came back. Like

360
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:43,160
Speaker 2: that was the same thing with like whippets and myths

361
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Speaker 2: and anything else I've ever tried. It's always do it

362
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:48,520
Speaker 2: once if it's like considered that super dangerous thing, and

363
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Speaker 2: obviously you'll probably have fun. But you can't, you can't

364
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Speaker 2: go back to it.

365
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Speaker 1: Well, Corey, you've got a very fun life ahead of you,

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Speaker 1: and you know, I wish you're the best of luck

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Speaker 1: in living it to the fullest.

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Speaker 2: Thanks man, thank you so much for having me on.

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Speaker 2: It was it was fun to be able to throw

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Speaker 2: that one out there.

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Speaker 1: Take care, Corey and bless man, take it easy. Who

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Speaker 1: what a great What a great call. What a great call?

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Speaker 1: That call had everything in it. I am genuine I'm

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Speaker 1: inspired by Corey in many ways. Really I am, I'm

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Speaker 1: I I I mean it. He he uh, just like

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00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:42,480
Speaker 1: had so much of I've been thinking. I have been

377
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:45,119
Speaker 1: thinking NonStop. But I've been thinking this throughout most throughout

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Speaker 1: a lot of my life about how about a lot

379
00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:54,400
Speaker 1: of these these things that Corey has been exemplifying, right,

380
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Speaker 1: The ability to be content with where you are in

381
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Speaker 1: the present moment while still working toward the future. The

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00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:06,359
Speaker 1: ability to have a positive mindset about all it is

383
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Speaker 1: that happens to you. And he just exemplified that in

384
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Speaker 1: such a cool way. I really jived with m And

385
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Speaker 1: you know what, honestly, you know what, I've been thinking

386
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:28,440
Speaker 1: about these concepts for all of my life, and I

387
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Speaker 1: think I've discovered through Corey that the answer is crack.

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Speaker 1: Maybe that's why he is the way he is, and

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Speaker 1: maybe I should give it a try. Folks, If you

390
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Speaker 1: learn anything from listening to this, it's that crack is

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Speaker 1: not that bad. Kiana, Hello, how are you Kiana? I

392
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:02,080
Speaker 1: almost called you Kreana, which is pretty damn close to Kiana.

393
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Speaker 1: So I don't feel that bad about it.

394
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Speaker 4: Pretty close.

395
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Speaker 1: What's going on with Kiana?

396
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:19,840
Speaker 4: Not a lot, just hanging out watching a stream.

397
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Speaker 1: Is there anything particularly on to talk about?

398
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Speaker 4: Yeah, basically, I've just been feeling like kind of an imposter,

399
00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:32,439
Speaker 4: like I put on kind of a costume, but in

400
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:34,760
Speaker 4: more of a professional way. I guess when I go

401
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 4: into work and when I come home, I kind of

402
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:40,800
Speaker 4: like to just get blackout drunk and smoke a bunch

403
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Speaker 4: of weeds. And in the mornings I go and work

404
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Speaker 4: at the kindergarten class and I don't know, I just

405
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:50,320
Speaker 4: kind of feel bad about it in a way, but

406
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Speaker 4: I don't because I can still get my shit done

407
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:53,400
Speaker 4: at work.

408
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:59,639
Speaker 1: But so you feel as though the identity that you

409
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Speaker 1: put when you're teaching kindergarten are you when you say

410
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:06,080
Speaker 1: you have a kindergarten class, like you teach kindergarten, or

411
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Speaker 1: you just work at at a at a school in

412
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Speaker 1: some other capacities, I work at a.

413
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Speaker 4: School, so I'm an education assistant, So I work with

414
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Speaker 4: the students that have extra needs and need extra help.

415
00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 4: So kind of like grade one through four.

416
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:28,680
Speaker 1: Okay, And so you're working with children all day and

417
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:33,119
Speaker 1: you feel like that contrasts with you getting blackout drunk

418
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Speaker 1: and smoking a bunch of weed after work.

419
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Speaker 4: Right, Yes, I'm also the youngest there, which puts a

420
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:44,919
Speaker 4: really big divide. Like I started doing this when I

421
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:49,399
Speaker 4: was twenty one. I'm twenty five now, and not a

422
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:52,320
Speaker 4: lot has changed. Like summer breaks, I'd like to go camping,

423
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Speaker 4: go in the woods, do some acid with my friends.

424
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Speaker 4: Like I don't feel like it really bothers what I

425
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Speaker 4: do at work, But I also feel like if anyone

426
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:07,000
Speaker 4: found out, like I don't know, especially parents and everything

427
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:08,840
Speaker 4: like that, like I don't want to go in public

428
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Speaker 4: or drink at the bar or whatever.

429
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Speaker 1: So aside from this sort of feeling as though it

430
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:25,240
Speaker 1: contrasts with your identity at work, does anything else bother

431
00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:32,920
Speaker 1: you about your drinking and smoking habits?

432
00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:39,920
Speaker 4: Not really, I mean not really, No, like it doesn't

433
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Speaker 4: affect at work at all.

434
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:47,080
Speaker 1: I want to take this to take to take work

435
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:51,080
Speaker 1: out of it, like your other aspects of your life,

436
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:56,520
Speaker 1: your your general mental well being, your relationships, family, whatever

437
00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:59,560
Speaker 1: whatever else you got going on. You know, do you

438
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:03,320
Speaker 1: feel a though it's being negatively impacted by by your

439
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:05,560
Speaker 1: drinking and smoking? And I'm not, I'm not. This isn't

440
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:07,439
Speaker 1: a leading question. I'm not here to say it is.

441
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:08,280
Speaker 1: I'm I'm just curious.

442
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:10,640
Speaker 6: No, totally.

443
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,600
Speaker 4: I think that it's gotten out of the hand in

444
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:17,720
Speaker 4: the past where it's like blackout every night, it's gotten

445
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:21,480
Speaker 4: a little bit better. But just like social anxiety as

446
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:24,480
Speaker 4: a whole, like I don't even want to go grocery shopping.

447
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:25,160
Speaker 2: I just.

448
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:28,600
Speaker 4: I don't know.

449
00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:31,800
Speaker 1: Have you spoken to a real therapist about this?

450
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:37,640
Speaker 4: Absolutely yes, And I know that they can't really give

451
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 4: a lot of advice as much as just kind of

452
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:43,399
Speaker 4: guide you through it. So it's kind of nice just

453
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,720
Speaker 4: to like talk to like a person just.

454
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:51,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, sure, yeah, yeah, what did they say?

455
00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:55,640
Speaker 4: Just to kind of cut back on it, keep more

456
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:57,640
Speaker 4: track on it. I don't really eat a lot either,

457
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:05,679
Speaker 4: so that kind of negative tipally impacts it. But just

458
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:09,640
Speaker 4: to keep track of everything and cut down. I'm supposed

459
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:13,240
Speaker 4: to call a place to talk about the alcohol and stuff,

460
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:13,879
Speaker 4: but I haven't.

461
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:19,120
Speaker 1: But would you when you say you're supposed to call

462
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:20,879
Speaker 1: a place, what is this? What is this place?

463
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 4: It's kind of it's a provincial Like I live in Canada,

464
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:29,320
Speaker 4: so there's provincial buildings in places, and they kind of

465
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:32,360
Speaker 4: offer free services. And I've been through there a few

466
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:36,520
Speaker 4: times before, not for like addictions or anything, but I've

467
00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:40,440
Speaker 4: seen many psychiatrists and I've talked to a lot of places,

468
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:43,199
Speaker 4: and it's been going really well for me. We've got

469
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:45,280
Speaker 4: like a good plan going on and stuff like that.

470
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:49,040
Speaker 4: It just feels so conflicting, like I'm so different from

471
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:51,480
Speaker 4: my other co workers, like it's hard to find any

472
00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:57,880
Speaker 4: relationships or I don't know things like that.

473
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:01,760
Speaker 1: Well, I'm okay, So to touch on that a little bit,

474
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,040
Speaker 1: you say that you're very different from your co workers.

475
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:06,680
Speaker 1: In what way do you feel like you're different from

476
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 1: your co workers?

477
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:13,880
Speaker 4: One of the ways is being quite younger, Like I'm

478
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:18,680
Speaker 4: the youngest of all of them by at least ten years,

479
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:20,360
Speaker 4: and that's kind of.

480
00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:22,520
Speaker 2: Tricky.

481
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:31,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that's like one of the main ways

482
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:33,879
Speaker 4: is I'm just like so much younger, and like, I know,

483
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:36,880
Speaker 4: I'm inexperienced and I'm trying to learn from them and everything.

484
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:43,399
Speaker 1: Do you have a strong desire to connect more heavily

485
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:48,320
Speaker 1: with them?

486
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:51,840
Speaker 4: It gives me so much anxiety, Honestly, on my lunch breaks,

487
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:53,960
Speaker 4: I go into my car and I drive around the

488
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:56,359
Speaker 4: corner and I spend my lunch break around the corner

489
00:27:56,400 --> 00:28:02,840
Speaker 4: because it's just I don't know, it's freaky, but I

490
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 4: see it, and I guess the desire is kind of there,

491
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:08,400
Speaker 4: but I don't know how it would work. I feel

492
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:09,399
Speaker 4: like it wouldn't work.

493
00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:12,720
Speaker 1: Interesting. Okay, so now you've got me curious about this.

494
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:17,120
Speaker 1: So you have social anxiety with talking to your coworkers,

495
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:20,679
Speaker 1: you seem like, as you're saying, as you're telling me,

496
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:24,760
Speaker 1: you have sort of general social anxiety. But now with

497
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 1: the kids, how do you feel when you're interacting with

498
00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:28,879
Speaker 1: the kids.

499
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:34,480
Speaker 4: It's so different. I feel like I couldn't work with adults.

500
00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:37,080
Speaker 4: With the kids, it's so much different. I love the

501
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:40,360
Speaker 4: way their mind works, Like the problems that they have

502
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:44,840
Speaker 4: actually makes sense. Like you've seen an adults with all

503
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:49,000
Speaker 4: their problems like just bullshit, petty stuff. It's like, Okay,

504
00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 4: come on, you can.

505
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 3: Work it out.

506
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:53,840
Speaker 4: But kids, they're actually struggling with stuff and you can

507
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:56,560
Speaker 4: kind of really understand from their point of view, and

508
00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,280
Speaker 4: it's just it really changes working with kids.

509
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 1: Could you give me an example of sort of a

510
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:06,840
Speaker 1: problem that a kid was having that you felt like

511
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:13,080
Speaker 1: a more real problem than a typical adult problem.

512
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:13,760
Speaker 6: Yeah.

513
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:20,960
Speaker 4: Absolutely, So for example, like just developmentally, you know, if

514
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:27,240
Speaker 4: something's out of place, or something spills, or somebody called

515
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:32,760
Speaker 4: you a poo poo butt head. If you're thirty years old,

516
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:35,120
Speaker 4: you know, you can kind of work those things out,

517
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:37,360
Speaker 4: you pick up the mess, you can be upset or whatever.

518
00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:40,320
Speaker 4: But especially the kids that I work with who have

519
00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:47,120
Speaker 4: autism and just different developmental delays or what you call it,

520
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:53,719
Speaker 4: this is a big deal for them. And like bright lights, flashing,

521
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:59,320
Speaker 4: like flashing light, loud sounds, big pops, things like that,

522
00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:05,840
Speaker 4: or just simple as there someone calling them a word,

523
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:06,720
Speaker 4: bad name.

524
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:15,840
Speaker 1: Mm hmmmm mm hmmm. So I find it yeah, yeah,

525
00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:19,040
Speaker 1: So so the level of anxiety that you get, uh,

526
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:24,320
Speaker 1: you know, interacting with people your age, those sort of

527
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 1: feelings that you have, none of them occur when you're

528
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:28,920
Speaker 1: interacting with with the kids.

529
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:34,400
Speaker 4: Correct, Yeah, they could be screaming flipping chairs over. Everything

530
00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:36,160
Speaker 4: just kind of turns off and I'm just really in

531
00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:36,600
Speaker 4: the moment.

532
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:44,120
Speaker 1: Yes, but yeah, I was about to say, it's like again,

533
00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:49,120
Speaker 1: I'm I'm doing some armchair gecko therapy here. But you know,

534
00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:53,040
Speaker 1: I can, I can relate a lot because, uh, you know,

535
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:54,680
Speaker 1: it seems like you have a lot of kind of

536
00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:58,000
Speaker 1: chaos going around in in your life and a lot

537
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:01,240
Speaker 1: of aspects of it. But when you're, yeah, you know,

538
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:04,880
Speaker 1: working with these kids, it's, as you say, very in

539
00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:07,160
Speaker 1: the moment, and so you're not focused on all this

540
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:11,480
Speaker 1: chaos and all this anxiety over you know what, what

541
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:15,000
Speaker 1: probably seems like an endless amount of things that there

542
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:19,000
Speaker 1: are to be anxious over, and you're just there helping

543
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:25,080
Speaker 1: the kid and sort of occupying their headspace as well,

544
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 1: wherein the problems are very much immediate.

545
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:32,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, exactly.

546
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:41,800
Speaker 1: Interesting. Do you consider yourself an alcoholic?

547
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:47,160
Speaker 4: Hmm. That is a really interesting question that I've been

548
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:51,800
Speaker 4: asked a lot. I think like, if money is tight

549
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:54,520
Speaker 4: and I can't drink, I won't and it's fine, it's

550
00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 4: not a problem. I'm not like itching for it or

551
00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:58,120
Speaker 4: anything like that.

552
00:31:58,920 --> 00:31:59,560
Speaker 6: But at the.

553
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:04,240
Speaker 4: Same time, when you look at what they recognend like

554
00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:09,280
Speaker 4: for how much Canadians should drink or whatever per week

555
00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:12,600
Speaker 4: and what is considered at risk alcoholic. I'm definitely in

556
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:14,360
Speaker 4: that at risk for sure.

557
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 1: Okay, so you're in that at risk category, but you're not.

558
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:26,040
Speaker 1: I don't know what this I I don't know. I

559
00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:27,680
Speaker 1: don't I don't know if there's like some sort of

560
00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:31,760
Speaker 1: objective standard of you are an alcoholic, you are not

561
00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:34,240
Speaker 1: an alcoholic type.

562
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:35,480
Speaker 4: Of I like to be drunk every night?

563
00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:42,840
Speaker 1: Okay? Do you ever do you ever get drunk and

564
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:43,280
Speaker 1: go to work?

565
00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:45,240
Speaker 6: No?

566
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:49,760
Speaker 4: Never? Okay, I don't even see.

567
00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:52,680
Speaker 1: Would you ever see yourself getting to that point?

568
00:32:55,560 --> 00:33:00,520
Speaker 4: No, honestly no, I have nightmares every night, just like

569
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 4: about being lead to work, definitely.

570
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:08,880
Speaker 1: Right, So you have this as like a sort of

571
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:14,560
Speaker 1: anchor point of something that's very important to you that

572
00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:17,120
Speaker 1: you don't want to compromise, or that you don't even

573
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:19,680
Speaker 1: see yourself being able to compromise, because it's that important

574
00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:22,600
Speaker 1: to you, right, Yes.

575
00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:24,719
Speaker 4: And I don't want to compromise it by someone just

576
00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:28,200
Speaker 4: like finding out who I am.

577
00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:35,880
Speaker 1: So you're worried about people finding out about your drug use?

578
00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:37,920
Speaker 4: I guess.

579
00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:43,920
Speaker 1: So have they ever gotten close to finding out?

580
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:46,959
Speaker 4: No?

581
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:47,280
Speaker 5: Never?

582
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:55,680
Speaker 1: You know I'm a big proponent of the idea that

583
00:33:56,200 --> 00:34:02,720
Speaker 1: there isn't a true self. I've talked about this a bunch, right,

584
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:06,520
Speaker 1: So like, look, you getting black out drunk and smoking

585
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:09,680
Speaker 1: a bunch of weed, like you know, yeah, that's that's

586
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:13,319
Speaker 1: a part of you. That definitely is it in a

587
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:17,880
Speaker 1: way who you are. But also you helping out autistic

588
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:23,120
Speaker 1: children to feel better and I'm sure being a strong

589
00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:27,279
Speaker 1: pillar of comfort and support in their lives and doing

590
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:29,080
Speaker 1: that is a good thing, and being in the moment

591
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:34,200
Speaker 1: of that is also who you are. So I don't

592
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:38,239
Speaker 1: know if there is a a true self, Like there

593
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:42,280
Speaker 1: isn't even a That's my thing about being an impost

594
00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:47,160
Speaker 1: is like you're you're kind You're kind of both. You know,

595
00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:50,600
Speaker 1: they're they're they're both the part of who you are,

596
00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:54,799
Speaker 1: so one doesn't necessarily negate the other. I don't think.

597
00:34:57,239 --> 00:35:03,840
Speaker 4: Yeah that makes a lot of sense. Actually, yeah, thank.

598
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:08,120
Speaker 1: You for sure? For sure? Have you been I mean,

599
00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 1: is that something you have been feeling like you do

600
00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:14,800
Speaker 1: you ever feel like what you do outside of work

601
00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:17,520
Speaker 1: negates what you do in work.

602
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:23,960
Speaker 4: I don't know. Sometimes I feel like if like a

603
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:30,200
Speaker 4: parent was like, oh, she's like bringing all these beer

604
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 4: cans with the recycling or supposed peoples sweet or like

605
00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:36,280
Speaker 4: is kind of a mess at home? Or like anything

606
00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:38,200
Speaker 4: like if they have got to know my true self?

607
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:42,120
Speaker 1: Right that right there, like literally what you just said,

608
00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:43,560
Speaker 1: Literally what you just said, if they got to know

609
00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:48,759
Speaker 1: my true self? Like you're labeling you with the beer,

610
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:50,719
Speaker 1: but that's what you do. You're labeling you with the

611
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:53,839
Speaker 1: beer cans and the getting high and the black. You're

612
00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:57,239
Speaker 1: labeling that as your true self, which it is.

613
00:35:57,560 --> 00:35:57,759
Speaker 4: It is.

614
00:35:57,960 --> 00:35:59,800
Speaker 1: I I mean, this is just me and my philosophy

615
00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:01,160
Speaker 1: is like that is who you are.

616
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:03,319
Speaker 2: But you.

617
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:08,080
Speaker 1: Helping these autistic children, the way in which you are

618
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:13,520
Speaker 1: making their lives better, that's that's also your true self.

619
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:16,080
Speaker 1: I don't think that one is more true than the other.

620
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:19,720
Speaker 1: So I think it is. It's a fallacy to label

621
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:20,480
Speaker 1: that as true.

622
00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:26,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're right, I was wording it like that, And no,

623
00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:29,880
Speaker 4: that makes a lot of sense. That's not like just

624
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:35,640
Speaker 4: who my true self is at all, super passionate about

625
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:39,480
Speaker 4: what I do and I take it super seriously. Yeah, yeah,

626
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:40,479
Speaker 4: that makes a lot of sense.

627
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:44,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah you are. And that's that's that's that's true,

628
00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:48,040
Speaker 1: and that doesn't get negated by whatever it is you

629
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:52,600
Speaker 1: do outside of that. I feel like people deal with

630
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:55,520
Speaker 1: I deal with this myself. Is like, for whatever reason,

631
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:57,400
Speaker 1: we beat the fuck out of ourselves and we go,

632
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:03,520
Speaker 1: you know, we we completely negate all the I do

633
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:07,440
Speaker 1: it myself. Again, I'm talking to myself here when I'm

634
00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:12,080
Speaker 1: talking to you as well. Is uh, you know, negating

635
00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:14,920
Speaker 1: all the good stuff you do, not even thinking about it,

636
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:19,399
Speaker 1: focusing on all the times you fuck off or you're late,

637
00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:22,560
Speaker 1: or you smoke too much weed or jack off too much,

638
00:37:22,719 --> 00:37:25,120
Speaker 1: or do whatever it is you do, and you go,

639
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:28,680
Speaker 1: that's the true self, and you completely ignore all the

640
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:32,239
Speaker 1: good stuff that you do, and you go, well, sure

641
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:34,000
Speaker 1: I do that stuff, but that's not who I really am.

642
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:36,680
Speaker 1: I'm really all the bad shit. And it's like you

643
00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:38,359
Speaker 1: can't just run away from the bad shit and pretend

644
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:41,600
Speaker 1: like you never do it, you know, and you can't go, well,

645
00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:44,040
Speaker 1: then that bad ship matters because of all the good shit.

646
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:46,520
Speaker 1: You can't do that. But you can't go none of

647
00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:47,960
Speaker 1: the good ship matters because of all the bad shit.

648
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:48,200
Speaker 3: Either.

649
00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:52,760
Speaker 4: Yes that is true, because that's bullshit.

650
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:53,960
Speaker 2: It's right.

651
00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:58,719
Speaker 1: So you know, I hope you operate. You know, it

652
00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:01,960
Speaker 1: sounds to me like you'll or you have a desire

653
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:12,879
Speaker 1: to I don't get blackout, drunk less and smoke weed less, right,

654
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:18,960
Speaker 1: and I think that you should pursue that desire. But

655
00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:25,280
Speaker 1: as you're pursuing that desire, you can't, like I don't

656
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:26,839
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't think you can like beat

657
00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:28,600
Speaker 1: yourself up into beating it, right.

658
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:31,319
Speaker 3: Yeah.

659
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:36,120
Speaker 1: So I mean, as you're pursuing that, I don't think

660
00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:39,040
Speaker 1: you should completely throw away all the good stuff you're

661
00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:43,800
Speaker 1: doing and fail to fail to recognize it in the process.

662
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:48,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's true.

663
00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:52,759
Speaker 2: Can't thank you very much for sure?

664
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,560
Speaker 1: For sure? Keana. Is there anything else you want to

665
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:58,200
Speaker 1: talk about in life in the world before we go?

666
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:05,520
Speaker 1: That is about it. Thank you, beautiful, good luck, talk

667
00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:06,000
Speaker 1: to you soon.

668
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:09,800
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, yes, goodbye?

669
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:12,200
Speaker 1: Hello Yan?

670
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:15,759
Speaker 3: Yes, this is Yan.

671
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:17,520
Speaker 1: How are you yan?

672
00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:22,239
Speaker 3: I'm great, yek. How are you doing? Uh?

673
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:22,480
Speaker 2: Yeah?

674
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:24,239
Speaker 1: It says here you would like to You would like

675
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:30,240
Speaker 1: to you would like to discuss any and Audi Vagina's.

676
00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:33,560
Speaker 3: Yes, any and Ali Kuci?

677
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:35,680
Speaker 1: Okay? Sure?

678
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:36,040
Speaker 6: Uh?

679
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:38,879
Speaker 1: Do you want to? You want to sort of start

680
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:42,640
Speaker 1: by giving me your initial thoughts, So.

681
00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:51,719
Speaker 3: Gek first, personally, would you say you're in any or

682
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:53,120
Speaker 3: Audi Cuci type of guy?

683
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 7: Uh?

684
00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:58,600
Speaker 1: Do you mean in my in my personal like sexual preference.

685
00:40:00,719 --> 00:40:02,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know.

686
00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:05,440
Speaker 1: I want to be perfectly honest with you, Yan, I

687
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:08,080
Speaker 1: did not know that there was such a thing as

688
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:09,280
Speaker 1: any and audi kuci.

689
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:14,040
Speaker 3: Oh that's interesting. I didn't know either. One of my

690
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:18,400
Speaker 3: friends told me. But I say all that to say this. So,

691
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:21,920
Speaker 3: I have a girlfriend that I love very much and

692
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:25,719
Speaker 3: in my own personal preference, I am any coucie type

693
00:40:25,719 --> 00:40:31,920
Speaker 3: of guy. But she has an Audi kuci and I

694
00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:37,719
Speaker 3: love her, but I can't deal with it. And there's

695
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:41,880
Speaker 3: a procedure I can she can go through called the

696
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:46,560
Speaker 3: vaginal plasty, and I would I'm willing to pay for it,

697
00:40:47,200 --> 00:40:49,200
Speaker 3: but she's very sensitive and I don't want to hurt

698
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:51,880
Speaker 3: her feelings. So I'm trying to like figure out the

699
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:55,040
Speaker 3: way that I can convince her to get this vaginal plasty.

700
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:56,399
Speaker 4: Mm hmm.

701
00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:59,360
Speaker 1: So wait a minute. Okay, So you told me just

702
00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:04,680
Speaker 1: now that you yourself did not know that there was

703
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:11,320
Speaker 1: a distinction between uh any vagina and audi vagina. So

704
00:41:12,239 --> 00:41:14,719
Speaker 1: but but that you learned it from your friend. So

705
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:16,840
Speaker 1: if you didn't even know that there was a distinction,

706
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:19,000
Speaker 1: how would you even know that you had a preference.

707
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:24,520
Speaker 3: This was beforehand. This was like two years ago.

708
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:32,000
Speaker 1: Okay, So I have a few thoughts about this, but

709
00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:34,240
Speaker 1: let me ask you first. Have you have you talked

710
00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:35,799
Speaker 1: to your partner about this at all?

711
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:38,799
Speaker 3: Not yet?

712
00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:40,799
Speaker 1: M hmm.

713
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:43,479
Speaker 3: She's a very well sensitive woman.

714
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:46,840
Speaker 1: Sure, sure, sure, I think here's the thing at the

715
00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:48,200
Speaker 1: end of the day, and I'm sure you know this

716
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:49,680
Speaker 1: and don't need me to tell you this. You know

717
00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:59,239
Speaker 1: you you can't really uh compel somebody to uh you know,

718
00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:01,360
Speaker 1: do something with their body that they don't want to do.

719
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:04,800
Speaker 7: Of course, of course.

720
00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:13,600
Speaker 1: So I mean, look, knowing that, what were you going

721
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:16,000
Speaker 1: to say? What were you going to say?

722
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:19,040
Speaker 3: You see, he's always telling me how much he loves me,

723
00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:21,040
Speaker 3: she'll do anything for me, And I just don't know

724
00:42:21,719 --> 00:42:25,360
Speaker 3: does this cross the line or is this within those boundaries?

725
00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:26,759
Speaker 2: Oh?

726
00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:29,040
Speaker 1: You know what you gotta do. You gotta find find

727
00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:33,759
Speaker 1: You gotta find something about your body that she wants

728
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:36,799
Speaker 1: to fix, right, And you guys can do a little

729
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:40,120
Speaker 1: bit of a bargain, like a yeah and I for

730
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:42,279
Speaker 1: and I like, I don't know, maybe she likes maybe

731
00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:46,160
Speaker 1: maybe maybe you have small balls, right, and you find

732
00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:49,280
Speaker 1: out that your girlfriend likes big balls, and you find

733
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:53,880
Speaker 1: that there is a procedure that enlarges the testicles, and

734
00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:56,840
Speaker 1: you say to her, Okay, if you flip your kouchie,

735
00:42:57,320 --> 00:43:01,040
Speaker 1: I'll increase my balls. And she goes and you go

736
00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:03,960
Speaker 1: down to the surgery place together and it's like a

737
00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:08,880
Speaker 1: date and everything goes smoothly. But you would have to

738
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:12,080
Speaker 1: ask her if there's anything about your body that she

739
00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:14,560
Speaker 1: doesn't like in order to find what that thing is.

740
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:20,520
Speaker 3: It does say my ball sizer is below average. Sometimes

741
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:23,000
Speaker 3: she says that, and I would be willing to do

742
00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:23,680
Speaker 3: that for her.

743
00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:26,560
Speaker 1: Okay, then that's what that's the approach I would take

744
00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:30,120
Speaker 1: with it is some some form of of bargain.

745
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:36,319
Speaker 3: Okay, thank you, Gick, I appreciate course, have.

746
00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:42,160
Speaker 1: Any that a good night? Any and Audi cuch I

747
00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:44,920
Speaker 1: did not know that that was such a thing. I

748
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:50,360
Speaker 1: did not know that that was such a thing. I

749
00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:54,279
Speaker 1: know there's any and Audi belly buttons, I myself have

750
00:43:54,360 --> 00:44:01,640
Speaker 1: a deep deep inny. Hello Veronica, Hi Veronica. It says

751
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:08,560
Speaker 1: here that you had an encounter with the guy working

752
00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:12,640
Speaker 1: at the front desk. Apparently he was flirting with you

753
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:16,560
Speaker 1: and you felt kind of awkward about it. This is uh,

754
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:19,480
Speaker 1: I like talking about these things, these little these little

755
00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:25,719
Speaker 1: micro interactions that we have, you know, platonically, these micro

756
00:44:25,840 --> 00:44:29,800
Speaker 1: interactions we have are already so awkward and complex to navigate.

757
00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:34,000
Speaker 1: But when you add this whatever romantic sexual overtone over it,

758
00:44:34,239 --> 00:44:37,320
Speaker 1: it just, uh, it's about one hundred times worse. So

759
00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:40,759
Speaker 1: we're going to break break it down for me.

760
00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:45,919
Speaker 5: Okay. So, I mean, I've been going to the gym

761
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:49,160
Speaker 5: for a while now, and I've seen this guy at

762
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:51,439
Speaker 5: the front desk and I've been like, oh, he's cute,

763
00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:54,439
Speaker 5: but I never really noticed him before, like too much. Sorry,

764
00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:58,799
Speaker 5: I'm getting water because I'm parched and married. I'll drink

765
00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:04,759
Speaker 5: some too, But I'd never really quite noticed him before.

766
00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:08,719
Speaker 5: And then the other day I was struggling with a

767
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:11,879
Speaker 5: machine and I'd never used like this specific machine before.

768
00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:15,239
Speaker 5: I could not get this motherfucker loose, Like, I could

769
00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:16,720
Speaker 5: not get it in the position I wanted.

770
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:19,440
Speaker 2: So I was.

771
00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:23,720
Speaker 5: Tugging at it and tugging at it, and I'm realizing

772
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:26,120
Speaker 5: I look stupid, like for when my arms are jelly

773
00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:29,760
Speaker 5: already and I'm looking real dumb. So I start laughing

774
00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:31,640
Speaker 5: at myself and I tug at it and I look

775
00:45:31,719 --> 00:45:35,200
Speaker 5: over and this front desk boys laughing at me and

776
00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:38,840
Speaker 5: I like shook my head, laughed it off, tried it again,

777
00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:41,520
Speaker 5: could not get it. Still cannot get it. So I

778
00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:43,920
Speaker 5: look over at him and he's still looking at me

779
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:45,520
Speaker 5: and give him a look like are you gonna help

780
00:45:45,560 --> 00:45:47,400
Speaker 5: me or what? So then he comes over and he

781
00:45:47,480 --> 00:45:49,279
Speaker 5: helps me and he shows me how to do it,

782
00:45:49,360 --> 00:45:51,520
Speaker 5: and I was like, oh, thanks god, it got it now.

783
00:45:51,920 --> 00:45:55,759
Speaker 5: And then later when I'm leaving, he goes, so, now

784
00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:58,840
Speaker 5: at least you know how the machine works. And I

785
00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:01,560
Speaker 5: was like, yeah, yeah, no, I got it now, thanks,

786
00:46:01,760 --> 00:46:04,239
Speaker 5: like in a kind of like exasperated, like yeah, thanks,

787
00:46:04,239 --> 00:46:12,720
Speaker 5: I'm an idiot. And shoot, what did he say after that? Sorry?

788
00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:14,719
Speaker 5: I'm like really nervous, gecko.

789
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:15,080
Speaker 6: I'm so happy.

790
00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:17,840
Speaker 1: Okay, So so all right, sorry, so listen, say so,

791
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:19,759
Speaker 1: so you have a crush on this guy?

792
00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:20,040
Speaker 7: Right?

793
00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:23,080
Speaker 5: I guess so, I mean this is like the first

794
00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:25,480
Speaker 5: time I'd ever really really know. So I just thought

795
00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:26,840
Speaker 5: he was cute. I think it was the fact that

796
00:46:27,080 --> 00:46:30,160
Speaker 5: like he like started to flirt with me, and then

797
00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:34,480
Speaker 5: I felt like this pressure and like, I'm I'm very

798
00:46:34,560 --> 00:46:36,719
Speaker 5: comfortable in myself, if not anything, like, I don't I

799
00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:38,600
Speaker 5: don't even know that I've only interacted with him a

800
00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:40,439
Speaker 5: couple of times, you know, but it's.

801
00:46:43,040 --> 00:46:47,360
Speaker 1: Well, here's the thing is, are you hoping that he

802
00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:51,800
Speaker 1: makes some form of a reach out to you to

803
00:46:52,080 --> 00:46:53,440
Speaker 1: whatever get your numbers?

804
00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:57,680
Speaker 5: I am so happy, I mean, I am so happy

805
00:46:57,800 --> 00:47:00,359
Speaker 5: single right now. But I was like, it would fund

806
00:47:00,360 --> 00:47:02,400
Speaker 5: to flirt with him, just like when I see him

807
00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:06,759
Speaker 5: at the gym or whatever. But no, I'm really happy single.

808
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:08,680
Speaker 5: But it's like the idea that now I have to

809
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:11,080
Speaker 5: build up, like, oh, what am I going to say

810
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:12,520
Speaker 5: to him? Like what is he going to say to me?

811
00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:16,759
Speaker 1: You're enjoying, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, I see what

812
00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:20,520
Speaker 1: you're saying. You're like, you're just enjoying. You're existing in

813
00:47:20,600 --> 00:47:26,200
Speaker 1: this realm of tension, and you know, I know that

814
00:47:26,320 --> 00:47:30,280
Speaker 1: you say you can you're you're existing in this realm

815
00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:34,840
Speaker 1: of tension. Hold on, you're existing in this realm of tension.

816
00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:38,000
Speaker 1: And you're saying you don't know how to flirt properly.

817
00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:41,839
Speaker 1: That's what That's what you told the call screenner. But yeah,

818
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:47,800
Speaker 1: you appear not to be really if I'm reading what

819
00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:50,320
Speaker 1: you're telling me correctly, your peer, not to really be

820
00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:57,400
Speaker 1: all that interested in advancing this to anything, and that

821
00:47:57,560 --> 00:48:03,160
Speaker 1: you're merely enjoying the tension for tension's sake.

822
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:08,320
Speaker 5: I guess, so, yeah, gotta feel a little something.

823
00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:16,200
Speaker 1: So in that case, you know, feel the tension for

824
00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:21,080
Speaker 1: the tension's sake, Right, You don't have to really do

825
00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:28,080
Speaker 1: anything to, as you say, flirt properly. You're just enjoying

826
00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:32,960
Speaker 1: your romanticization of what this guy might think of you. Well,

827
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:36,399
Speaker 1: hold on, you're enjoying this romanticization of what this guy

828
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:38,560
Speaker 1: might think of you, of what could be just you're

829
00:48:38,600 --> 00:48:44,320
Speaker 1: just enjoying the daydreams for the sake of the day dreams.

830
00:48:44,520 --> 00:48:46,759
Speaker 1: And now, I don't think there's anything wrong with daydreaming,

831
00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:52,959
Speaker 1: unless if the daydreaming eventually gets to some point where

832
00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:59,600
Speaker 1: you feel like it's having some unpleasant effect on you,

833
00:48:59,840 --> 00:49:03,279
Speaker 1: or or if it's compelling you to take action of

834
00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:07,800
Speaker 1: some sort. But as of now, you just seem to

835
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:09,800
Speaker 1: be enjoying it for the sake of it.

836
00:49:11,440 --> 00:49:11,920
Speaker 2: I hear you.

837
00:49:12,640 --> 00:49:17,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, yes, I think that's true, and it's I'm definitely

838
00:49:17,440 --> 00:49:20,960
Speaker 5: not really looking for anything right now, you know so,

839
00:49:21,120 --> 00:49:22,719
Speaker 5: But I did do the whole thing, I see. It's

840
00:49:22,719 --> 00:49:24,640
Speaker 5: the thing. I've ranticized it in my head, like I

841
00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:27,239
Speaker 5: was going on Instagram trying to figure out I don't know.

842
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:29,200
Speaker 5: I don't even know his name, so I was trying

843
00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:31,200
Speaker 5: to see if I could figure out his name or something.

844
00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:35,440
Speaker 5: I don't know, But I guess I'll just have to

845
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:37,320
Speaker 5: ask him. I guess that'll be the next point of

846
00:49:37,440 --> 00:49:38,920
Speaker 5: a pension. I suppose.

847
00:49:39,640 --> 00:49:43,880
Speaker 1: I think that that sounds like a much better idea

848
00:49:44,239 --> 00:49:46,520
Speaker 1: than trying to find out his name on Instagram.

849
00:49:48,440 --> 00:49:50,560
Speaker 5: I'm not the only one who does that though, Like

850
00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:51,600
Speaker 5: I know, that's.

851
00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:52,160
Speaker 2: The normal thing.

852
00:49:53,360 --> 00:49:54,440
Speaker 1: Thank you for calling, Veronica.

853
00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:56,920
Speaker 5: It was nice talking to you.

854
00:49:57,080 --> 00:50:02,360
Speaker 1: Get Hello. Hello, Hey, is this John?

855
00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:04,399
Speaker 6: Yeah?

856
00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:05,400
Speaker 1: What's up?

857
00:50:05,520 --> 00:50:05,759
Speaker 2: John?

858
00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:08,239
Speaker 6: Not much? How about you?

859
00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:14,520
Speaker 1: Well, Uh, it's a I don't know. The vibe tonight

860
00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:19,920
Speaker 1: is definitely very interesting. It's definitely very self it's very

861
00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:23,040
Speaker 1: the vibe tonight is very self healthy for every single

862
00:50:23,160 --> 00:50:29,920
Speaker 1: person involved in this in this operation right now. And

863
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:35,319
Speaker 1: you know, look, I'm rolling with it here, John. What's uh?

864
00:50:35,520 --> 00:50:37,440
Speaker 1: What's new? Is there anything in particular you wanted to

865
00:50:37,440 --> 00:50:38,120
Speaker 1: talk about today?

866
00:50:41,400 --> 00:50:47,560
Speaker 6: Yeah? You know it wold. You know it's not long ago.

867
00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:55,120
Speaker 6: Savalentine's Wolves and yeah, I had some but nothing nice

868
00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:58,520
Speaker 6: experience this year with content today and I want to

869
00:50:59,360 --> 00:50:59,800
Speaker 6: talk about that.

870
00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:04,839
Speaker 1: You had a not nice experience with Valentine's Day? You said, yes,

871
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:07,320
Speaker 1: what was what was this not nice experience?

872
00:51:09,840 --> 00:51:14,480
Speaker 6: So because that was my current her friend for like

873
00:51:15,120 --> 00:51:20,000
Speaker 6: one half years, and yeah, we basically said this year

874
00:51:20,680 --> 00:51:24,719
Speaker 6: we wouldn't. Yeah, we basically we set a limit for

875
00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:31,160
Speaker 6: how much money we would spend on our presence. And yeah,

876
00:51:32,360 --> 00:51:37,919
Speaker 6: so basically because flowers are expensive, pretty much just bought

877
00:51:37,960 --> 00:51:44,880
Speaker 6: her flowers and sub chocolate pretty much. Yeah, Yeah, she

878
00:51:45,160 --> 00:51:51,440
Speaker 6: was not very happy with it. She she was very well, say,

879
00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:57,040
Speaker 6: angry with me because she told me she would rather

880
00:51:57,200 --> 00:52:01,799
Speaker 6: have some chrem here crystals and so because she.

881
00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:05,520
Speaker 1: Is in victory and so okay, so hold on, so

882
00:52:05,640 --> 00:52:07,480
Speaker 1: let me get this straight. So you guys said some

883
00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:10,239
Speaker 1: sort of cost limit on your gifts. You got her

884
00:52:10,280 --> 00:52:15,200
Speaker 1: flowers and chocolate, and she angry because she was angry

885
00:52:15,280 --> 00:52:25,759
Speaker 1: because you didn't get her what she wanted. Yeah, pretty much, John, Well,

886
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:26,920
Speaker 1: how long you've been seeing this girl for.

887
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:33,200
Speaker 6: One and a half gifts and basically we are The

888
00:52:33,280 --> 00:52:37,880
Speaker 6: thing is, I was living in a pretty rough situation

889
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:43,560
Speaker 6: with my family, yep, and I will we texted for

890
00:52:43,719 --> 00:52:47,160
Speaker 6: a long time and met up and basically I moved

891
00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:52,000
Speaker 6: with her to her and her mom and Yeah, I'm

892
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:55,239
Speaker 6: now living with her and hour pretty much together with

893
00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:57,160
Speaker 6: her for one and a half years.

894
00:52:58,160 --> 00:53:00,800
Speaker 1: All right, So you're having this one issue with that?

895
00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:06,319
Speaker 1: Do you have issues with her consistently? Many, many, many,

896
00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:11,560
Speaker 1: many issues? Okay, so you have many, many issues with her.

897
00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:15,680
Speaker 1: This isn't just the one and you're living with her,

898
00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:18,040
Speaker 1: which is the whole thing to have to get out of.

899
00:53:22,160 --> 00:53:23,080
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm looking with her.

900
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:29,200
Speaker 1: I don't know, John, Listen. I'm not here to tell

901
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:31,120
Speaker 1: anyone whether or not they should break up with their

902
00:53:31,239 --> 00:53:35,759
Speaker 1: significant other. But do you have a job.

903
00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:38,480
Speaker 6: I'm thinking about it, to be honest, Yeah, I have

904
00:53:38,560 --> 00:53:39,239
Speaker 6: a short.

905
00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:44,200
Speaker 1: You're an it ta Uh. Where do you live?

906
00:53:44,560 --> 00:53:44,600
Speaker 2: Like?

907
00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:46,520
Speaker 1: What what place in the universe?

908
00:53:46,840 --> 00:53:47,200
Speaker 3: Germany?

909
00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:50,640
Speaker 1: To give me your dress Germany? Do you make enough

910
00:53:50,680 --> 00:53:52,680
Speaker 1: money to go out and live by yourself or or

911
00:53:52,840 --> 00:53:54,520
Speaker 1: find a roommate and live with them.

912
00:53:55,040 --> 00:53:59,879
Speaker 6: Yeah, definitely. But the thing is it wouldn't be so bad.

913
00:54:00,040 --> 00:54:04,000
Speaker 6: Address was one thing, but you know, there are multiple

914
00:54:04,520 --> 00:54:09,040
Speaker 6: things that are pretty annoying. And I can't talk about

915
00:54:09,239 --> 00:54:13,200
Speaker 6: with her about it because my thing is I moved

916
00:54:13,239 --> 00:54:15,800
Speaker 6: up the cause of my my mom was not the

917
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:20,360
Speaker 6: nice person to me, you know, And it's like the

918
00:54:20,440 --> 00:54:22,680
Speaker 6: same it's like I was facing my own mom. I

919
00:54:22,719 --> 00:54:25,360
Speaker 6: went to talk with her. Pretty much, she's screaming at me,

920
00:54:25,640 --> 00:54:28,359
Speaker 6: and she's not very nice.

921
00:54:29,840 --> 00:54:31,480
Speaker 1: John. I don't like this, man, I don't like that.

922
00:54:31,840 --> 00:54:34,680
Speaker 1: It seems like you sort of left one bad situation

923
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:36,360
Speaker 1: for another one.

924
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:45,239
Speaker 6: Pretty much, and it's it's not very stressing me out

925
00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:45,879
Speaker 6: pretty much.

926
00:54:46,600 --> 00:54:49,080
Speaker 1: So what is what is stopping you from? What do

927
00:54:49,120 --> 00:54:50,319
Speaker 1: you what do you feel like a stopping you from

928
00:54:50,360 --> 00:54:55,360
Speaker 1: breaking up with this girl and moving into another place?

929
00:54:58,480 --> 00:55:04,960
Speaker 6: You know, the thing is pretty much she I care

930
00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:09,920
Speaker 6: about her pretty much. But the thing is, I don't know.

931
00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:14,560
Speaker 6: You know, it's like I know if I would do that.

932
00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:19,240
Speaker 6: I know her that she has some self harm experience

933
00:55:19,320 --> 00:55:23,600
Speaker 6: in the past, and I don't believe want you know

934
00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:29,920
Speaker 6: that that shit happened, that she would hurt herself or

935
00:55:29,960 --> 00:55:30,400
Speaker 6: something like that.

936
00:55:30,560 --> 00:55:35,920
Speaker 1: You know, John, you talked to a real therapist about this.

937
00:55:40,320 --> 00:55:43,640
Speaker 6: I am pretty much a funny thing. I would visit

938
00:55:43,719 --> 00:55:48,919
Speaker 6: my therapist for the first session and he got yeah

939
00:55:49,200 --> 00:55:52,720
Speaker 6: COVID and not got moved for tomorrow.

940
00:55:53,760 --> 00:55:55,560
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, so you're going to talk about your

941
00:55:55,680 --> 00:55:57,480
Speaker 1: You're going to talk about this with therapist tomorrow. I

942
00:55:57,560 --> 00:55:59,440
Speaker 1: don't know what your therapist is going to say, but

943
00:56:01,800 --> 00:56:04,800
Speaker 1: what if I had to make a prediction about what

944
00:56:04,880 --> 00:56:07,800
Speaker 1: they say? Or you know, what I've heard people's therapists

945
00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:13,719
Speaker 1: say when this issue comes up is that you I

946
00:56:13,920 --> 00:56:18,080
Speaker 1: get it. You're an empathetic guy. You're someone that cares

947
00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:20,719
Speaker 1: about other people. And so the idea that somebody would

948
00:56:20,760 --> 00:56:22,800
Speaker 1: harm themselves because.

949
00:56:24,440 --> 00:56:25,440
Speaker 2: Of like.

950
00:56:27,640 --> 00:56:30,640
Speaker 1: You leaving them quote because of you leaving them, We

951
00:56:30,680 --> 00:56:38,719
Speaker 1: have no idea why anyone does anything. Really, ultimately, that's

952
00:56:38,760 --> 00:56:42,680
Speaker 1: not your responsibility. Other people's happiness and well being is

953
00:56:42,880 --> 00:56:46,880
Speaker 1: never your responsibility. Really.

954
00:56:47,280 --> 00:56:50,160
Speaker 6: Yeah, but that's the thing I really have problems with

955
00:56:50,680 --> 00:56:53,799
Speaker 6: just because I'm not putting myself person I'm always thinking

956
00:56:53,800 --> 00:56:54,160
Speaker 6: about it.

957
00:56:55,680 --> 00:57:02,879
Speaker 1: You know, it's hard to do. And again, there's something there, right,

958
00:57:02,960 --> 00:57:05,080
Speaker 1: I think there's something there because there's a delicate balance

959
00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:10,000
Speaker 1: between selflessness and selfishness that a lot of people haven't,

960
00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:14,520
Speaker 1: myself included, have a lot of trouble striking that balance.

961
00:57:15,560 --> 00:57:21,440
Speaker 1: But you do need to realize that other people's happiness

962
00:57:21,680 --> 00:57:28,080
Speaker 1: is not something that is within your control, or else

963
00:57:28,160 --> 00:57:31,040
Speaker 1: you'll just be a slave to it your entire life.

964
00:57:31,920 --> 00:57:33,280
Speaker 1: You know, I don't know how old you are. How

965
00:57:33,320 --> 00:57:41,680
Speaker 1: old are you twenty two, twenty two. Okay, great, this

966
00:57:41,880 --> 00:57:44,000
Speaker 1: is something and I'm sure you're going to talk about

967
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:49,160
Speaker 1: this all your next therapy session, and I'm sure your

968
00:57:49,200 --> 00:57:53,840
Speaker 1: real therapist will know exactly what to say. But you

969
00:57:54,280 --> 00:57:58,960
Speaker 1: need to nip this in the bud because you can't

970
00:57:59,680 --> 00:58:03,840
Speaker 1: be living your life at the whim of other people

971
00:58:04,640 --> 00:58:09,240
Speaker 1: all the time. And you got to realize that their

972
00:58:09,400 --> 00:58:14,960
Speaker 1: happiness is ultimately their own work, just as your happiness

973
00:58:15,040 --> 00:58:16,959
Speaker 1: is your own work. Does that make sense?

974
00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:20,800
Speaker 6: Yeah, it makes sense.

975
00:58:22,600 --> 00:58:23,040
Speaker 3: What do you do?

976
00:58:23,440 --> 00:58:24,040
Speaker 1: You said you do it?

977
00:58:24,520 --> 00:58:27,280
Speaker 6: But hmm, yeah, I'm in it.

978
00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:32,800
Speaker 1: T what's Germany like? Is it nice? I kind of

979
00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:33,160
Speaker 1: want to go.

980
00:58:33,360 --> 00:58:37,200
Speaker 6: It's pretty nice when you're having home office and you

981
00:58:37,400 --> 00:58:39,160
Speaker 6: basically it doesn't have to move in.

982
00:58:41,160 --> 00:58:42,360
Speaker 1: Where a city in Germany?

983
00:58:44,920 --> 00:58:49,600
Speaker 6: Uh, I'm a near Cologne, I would say Cologne. I

984
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:50,360
Speaker 6: don't know what that is.

985
00:58:51,400 --> 00:58:52,960
Speaker 1: I don't know why I asked what city in Germany?

986
00:58:52,960 --> 00:58:53,720
Speaker 1: Because I only know.

987
00:58:55,400 --> 00:58:55,600
Speaker 2: I can.

988
00:58:55,640 --> 00:58:57,600
Speaker 1: I think I think I can. I think I can

989
00:58:57,680 --> 00:58:59,800
Speaker 1: only name three cities in Germany. I know there's pro

990
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:04,640
Speaker 1: in all right, I can name one city in Germany.

991
00:59:06,320 --> 00:59:12,520
Speaker 1: M John, good luck to you and you're a therapist,

992
00:59:12,600 --> 00:59:16,960
Speaker 1: I said, hello, thanks? Can I John, Thanks, I will

993
00:59:17,560 --> 00:59:25,080
Speaker 1: John John John John John, I liked John. Hello, Hello,

994
00:59:26,120 --> 00:59:26,520
Speaker 1: how are you?

995
00:59:29,040 --> 00:59:30,120
Speaker 3: I'm good? How are you kid?

996
00:59:31,200 --> 00:59:33,280
Speaker 1: I'm doing good? Ryan, Ryan. It says here you want

997
00:59:33,280 --> 00:59:34,800
Speaker 1: to know if it's a good idea to move nine

998
00:59:34,880 --> 00:59:36,480
Speaker 1: hundred miles away all by yourself.

999
00:59:38,880 --> 00:59:41,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, h.

1000
00:59:42,520 --> 00:59:43,880
Speaker 1: Where where we Where are we moving to.

1001
00:59:46,760 --> 00:59:47,160
Speaker 3: Ohio?

1002
00:59:48,600 --> 00:59:54,520
Speaker 1: Where are we're moving? From Florida, Florida to Ohio? The

1003
00:59:54,560 --> 01:00:01,280
Speaker 1: classic down, up, down to up drive all right, So

1004
01:00:01,440 --> 01:00:03,880
Speaker 1: tell me what's going on in Florida and then tell

1005
01:00:03,960 --> 01:00:05,160
Speaker 1: me what's going on in Ohio.

1006
01:00:07,680 --> 01:00:12,840
Speaker 7: Some big life changes, you know, separated from my partner

1007
01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:16,120
Speaker 7: of almost eight years. Being in this area is a

1008
01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:21,720
Speaker 7: little depressing. I visited Ohio about a month ago by myself,

1009
01:00:22,080 --> 01:00:24,640
Speaker 7: drove up, spent some time up there, made some friends,

1010
01:00:25,320 --> 01:00:30,640
Speaker 7: called sites, and I really enjoyed it. So I kind

1011
01:00:30,720 --> 01:00:32,920
Speaker 7: of made the last second decision.

1012
01:00:32,600 --> 01:00:33,480
Speaker 3: To move up there.

1013
01:00:35,840 --> 01:00:36,680
Speaker 1: Have you found a place?

1014
01:00:38,960 --> 01:00:43,360
Speaker 7: I've been looking on the rental apps and whatnot looking around.

1015
01:00:44,200 --> 01:00:46,960
Speaker 7: Cost of living is cheaper up there.

1016
01:00:47,320 --> 01:00:47,880
Speaker 3: You know, with.

1017
01:00:49,520 --> 01:00:52,320
Speaker 7: Everything that's going on, So I think it might be good,

1018
01:00:52,560 --> 01:00:56,600
Speaker 7: but I wanted to get an unbiased opinion on.

1019
01:00:56,680 --> 01:00:59,920
Speaker 1: It, right, So the fact that you called me is

1020
01:01:01,640 --> 01:01:07,600
Speaker 1: signaling that you have some apprehension about it, whether or

1021
01:01:07,680 --> 01:01:10,320
Speaker 1: not founded. What is your apprehension?

1022
01:01:13,680 --> 01:01:17,520
Speaker 7: Just moving that far away from all of my family

1023
01:01:18,120 --> 01:01:21,440
Speaker 7: by myself, you know, I'd be packing my car up

1024
01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:29,160
Speaker 7: with my closest possessions, driving the ten hours and hoping

1025
01:01:29,240 --> 01:01:29,760
Speaker 7: it works out.

1026
01:01:32,320 --> 01:01:33,880
Speaker 1: You know, Man, not to make this about me, but

1027
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:36,960
Speaker 1: I just did that. Actually I just did that like

1028
01:01:38,120 --> 01:01:43,640
Speaker 1: a month or so ago, and really yeah, yeah. And

1029
01:01:45,800 --> 01:01:49,040
Speaker 1: my philosophy, and this is me talking to myself right now,

1030
01:01:52,000 --> 01:02:03,800
Speaker 1: is that life is short, right, And I think it

1031
01:02:03,920 --> 01:02:06,880
Speaker 1: all kind of depends on what you value. I know,

1032
01:02:07,040 --> 01:02:10,479
Speaker 1: for me, when I die, I really want to feel

1033
01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:19,640
Speaker 1: like I lived some bit of a storied life, you know,

1034
01:02:20,120 --> 01:02:27,080
Speaker 1: of a varied of varied experiences, and I feel like

1035
01:02:27,640 --> 01:02:37,680
Speaker 1: living in different places is part of that. So even

1036
01:02:37,720 --> 01:02:42,640
Speaker 1: though you are leaving behind a lot of comfort, you're

1037
01:02:43,560 --> 01:02:48,960
Speaker 1: rolling the dice in an interesting way. You're allowing the

1038
01:02:49,120 --> 01:02:56,840
Speaker 1: possibility for new places and new things to become part

1039
01:02:56,920 --> 01:03:00,800
Speaker 1: of your life's story and diversify it and make it

1040
01:03:00,920 --> 01:03:08,000
Speaker 1: that much more comfortable. And it's very hard to roll

1041
01:03:08,080 --> 01:03:12,880
Speaker 1: those dice and take that risk, but your life will

1042
01:03:12,920 --> 01:03:16,800
Speaker 1: be a little bit more colorful as a result. If

1043
01:03:16,880 --> 01:03:19,480
Speaker 1: that's important to you. I don't know if.

1044
01:03:19,760 --> 01:03:22,040
Speaker 7: And that's what I was thinking when I went up

1045
01:03:22,040 --> 01:03:24,880
Speaker 7: there by myself. I kind of threw myself out there.

1046
01:03:25,040 --> 01:03:28,000
Speaker 7: I went out, I made some friends. I was talking

1047
01:03:28,080 --> 01:03:31,080
Speaker 7: with new people, you know, people I had never knew before.

1048
01:03:31,800 --> 01:03:36,360
Speaker 7: I was walking around the city by myself, and one

1049
01:03:36,400 --> 01:03:38,320
Speaker 7: of the friends I made, I was talking with him

1050
01:03:38,320 --> 01:03:42,360
Speaker 7: about it when I came back home, and he was like, yeah, man,

1051
01:03:42,440 --> 01:03:45,280
Speaker 7: that sounds good. You know, with my line of work,

1052
01:03:45,480 --> 01:03:47,960
Speaker 7: you know, I could get a job fairly easily and

1053
01:03:48,640 --> 01:03:51,240
Speaker 7: I'd be able to make it. But I just I

1054
01:03:51,360 --> 01:03:55,360
Speaker 7: was a little apprehensive because I'd be going by myself,

1055
01:03:56,120 --> 01:03:59,520
Speaker 7: you know, almost nine hundred miles away, starting a whole

1056
01:03:59,600 --> 01:04:03,240
Speaker 7: new life by myself, and I was a little worried.

1057
01:04:03,840 --> 01:04:05,760
Speaker 7: I am still a little worried that it may not

1058
01:04:05,880 --> 01:04:10,200
Speaker 7: work out. But I have confidence that at my age,

1059
01:04:10,680 --> 01:04:14,400
Speaker 7: I could start a life in a new area that

1060
01:04:15,480 --> 01:04:19,680
Speaker 7: me or my family has never been to. You know,

1061
01:04:19,880 --> 01:04:24,040
Speaker 7: I can make something of myself in a new area

1062
01:04:24,720 --> 01:04:30,400
Speaker 7: and just kind of live my life as who I

1063
01:04:30,560 --> 01:04:34,439
Speaker 7: am versus basing it off of somebody else.

1064
01:04:36,000 --> 01:04:38,400
Speaker 1: Right, right, when you move away from all your friends

1065
01:04:38,440 --> 01:04:41,840
Speaker 1: and family, there's also this very interesting opportunity. You have to, like,

1066
01:04:42,880 --> 01:04:46,520
Speaker 1: as you just said, see who you are and develop

1067
01:04:46,560 --> 01:04:52,480
Speaker 1: who you are under no influence from other people. That's

1068
01:04:52,480 --> 01:04:54,960
Speaker 1: a really important thing to do because you kind of

1069
01:04:55,080 --> 01:04:59,040
Speaker 1: become the equivalent of the five people you hang out

1070
01:04:59,080 --> 01:05:02,000
Speaker 1: with the most. And when you go to a new

1071
01:05:02,040 --> 01:05:05,000
Speaker 1: place and you're not hanging out with those people, you're

1072
01:05:05,200 --> 01:05:12,520
Speaker 1: given an opportunity to find out other sides of yourself

1073
01:05:12,600 --> 01:05:16,200
Speaker 1: that might be awakened by the people that you meet

1074
01:05:16,680 --> 01:05:21,320
Speaker 1: or the things you see. And again, when we're talking

1075
01:05:21,360 --> 01:05:28,640
Speaker 1: about building a colored life experience, we're not only finding

1076
01:05:28,880 --> 01:05:31,320
Speaker 1: new things about a place, we're also finding out new

1077
01:05:31,360 --> 01:05:35,520
Speaker 1: things about ourselves as we're trying new stuff and talking

1078
01:05:35,560 --> 01:05:37,920
Speaker 1: to new people who bring out different sides of us.

1079
01:05:39,480 --> 01:05:43,040
Speaker 1: You know, I think there's a lot of value in

1080
01:05:43,160 --> 01:05:47,640
Speaker 1: doing and you know, yeah, man, I'm about your age,

1081
01:05:48,640 --> 01:05:54,479
Speaker 1: and personally, I feel like the more in my life

1082
01:05:54,560 --> 01:05:59,040
Speaker 1: I'm able to pack up, move and start again, the

1083
01:05:59,160 --> 01:06:02,680
Speaker 1: more I feel I feel very empowered by that. You know,

1084
01:06:02,880 --> 01:06:06,440
Speaker 1: if I can pack up, move, live somewhere for a

1085
01:06:06,520 --> 01:06:09,840
Speaker 1: couple of years, pack up, move again, live somewhere for

1086
01:06:09,920 --> 01:06:12,480
Speaker 1: a couple of years, pack up, move again, you know,

1087
01:06:12,760 --> 01:06:16,920
Speaker 1: But by the time i'm you know, whatever, old and settled,

1088
01:06:17,760 --> 01:06:22,320
Speaker 1: I'll have. I'll have that much more wisdom and experience

1089
01:06:23,200 --> 01:06:26,760
Speaker 1: being a person in different places. And I think there's

1090
01:06:26,760 --> 01:06:27,680
Speaker 1: a lot of value to that.

1091
01:06:30,920 --> 01:06:33,160
Speaker 7: Yeah, I thought the same thing. With me still being

1092
01:06:33,360 --> 01:06:37,400
Speaker 7: you know, relatively young, I can, you know, plant myself

1093
01:06:37,440 --> 01:06:40,520
Speaker 7: somewhere else, spread out a little bit and if it

1094
01:06:40,560 --> 01:06:44,000
Speaker 7: comes down to it, and move again and expand my

1095
01:06:44,120 --> 01:06:47,200
Speaker 7: horizons as as far as my body will let me.

1096
01:06:48,640 --> 01:06:48,840
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1097
01:06:48,920 --> 01:06:51,000
Speaker 1: Man, you know, good luck to you. Ryan. This was

1098
01:06:51,200 --> 01:06:52,840
Speaker 1: this was a good call. It was good. I felt

1099
01:06:52,880 --> 01:06:56,439
Speaker 1: like I was talking to myself here because, as I said,

1100
01:06:57,400 --> 01:07:00,160
Speaker 1: I really appreciate that. Yeah, for sure, Man, have a

1101
01:07:00,160 --> 01:07:03,280
Speaker 1: good rest of the night, you too, I love you,

1102
01:07:05,080 --> 01:07:09,040
Speaker 1: Love you too, Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, Ryan. No, I really

1103
01:07:09,040 --> 01:07:12,360
Speaker 1: felt like I was talking to myself just then, because yeah,

1104
01:07:12,400 --> 01:07:17,400
Speaker 1: I just moved across the country about a month ago.

1105
01:07:18,680 --> 01:07:21,280
Speaker 1: And Yeah, as I was talking to Ryan just now,

1106
01:07:21,280 --> 01:07:23,200
Speaker 1: it was like remembering all the reasons why not to

1107
01:07:23,280 --> 01:07:24,880
Speaker 1: again make this about me, But I was remembering all

1108
01:07:24,920 --> 01:07:29,480
Speaker 1: the reasons why I did that. Uh, because I want

1109
01:07:29,520 --> 01:07:34,840
Speaker 1: to live a colorful life. Talk to a bunch of people,

1110
01:07:36,200 --> 01:07:39,720
Speaker 1: see a bunch of things, go a bunch of places

1111
01:07:40,760 --> 01:07:47,880
Speaker 1: and then die. It sounds nice, but you gotta get

1112
01:07:47,920 --> 01:07:51,000
Speaker 1: out of your comfort zone. That's very hard to do.

1113
01:07:53,320 --> 01:07:56,640
Speaker 4: Goes on the line, thinks every night.

1114
01:07:58,880 --> 01:07:59,520
Speaker 2: I was teaching you.

1115
01:08:00,480 --> 01:08:03,600
Speaker 5: You're like, but it's not really an expert