1 00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:05,400 Speaker 1: Two hopeless one dating app then dares you, guys swipe right. 2 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:09,880 Speaker 2: The question is whose love life is more tragic. 3 00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:14,200 Speaker 3: It's Battle of the Tender Dates. 4 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:16,759 Speaker 1: It's the dating game show that encourages you to add 5 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:19,040 Speaker 1: shot Shot Slide to your bedroom playlist. 6 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:22,439 Speaker 3: Really take it back now, y'all for Battle of the 7 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:27,200 Speaker 3: Tender Days. Some people need instructions. 8 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:29,720 Speaker 1: It's helpful where two of our listeners square off to 9 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:32,720 Speaker 1: find out whose love life is the most tragic. We'll 10 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:35,040 Speaker 1: explain the rules in just a second, but first let's 11 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:39,240 Speaker 1: meet today's contestants. In this corner, her number one turn 12 00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:42,560 Speaker 1: on is comparing health insurance plans and asking how big 13 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:43,760 Speaker 1: his HSA is. 14 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:55,480 Speaker 4: Medica Jessica can't wait to hear about your. 15 00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:00,160 Speaker 1: And in the other corner, she'll kiss a guy on land, 16 00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:04,720 Speaker 1: but prefers making out submerged underwater. That's why they call 17 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:06,679 Speaker 1: her Submarine Colleen. 18 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:09,360 Speaker 5: Yeah, Hey, yui, how are you? 19 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:12,720 Speaker 3: Here's how the game works. 20 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:15,080 Speaker 1: One contestant will start by telling one of their worst 21 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:17,120 Speaker 1: date stories. The other one try and counter with the 22 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:18,920 Speaker 1: nightmare story of their own. We're going to go back 23 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:21,279 Speaker 1: and forth for three rounds until we declare a winner. 24 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:25,119 Speaker 1: Starting it off with Medica, Jessica, let's go Okay. 25 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:27,520 Speaker 2: So one of the weirdest dates I've ever had. He 26 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:30,480 Speaker 2: showed up to the bar dressed exactly like me, like 27 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:34,080 Speaker 2: the same outfit from my top in my Tinder profile. 28 00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:34,320 Speaker 5: Pick. 29 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:35,720 Speaker 3: What were you doing? 30 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:37,479 Speaker 2: Yeah? 31 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:39,640 Speaker 3: What were you wearing in your Tinder profile? 32 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:39,920 Speaker 4: Pick? 33 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:44,040 Speaker 2: I was wearing a red shirt and he also wore 34 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:46,560 Speaker 2: a red shirt and told me, hey, I'm wearing this 35 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:49,000 Speaker 2: because I saw it in your photo. 36 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:51,040 Speaker 3: We were expecting flower sun dress. 37 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:58,480 Speaker 2: But he literally said, like, this is how I manifest compatibility. 38 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:02,880 Speaker 3: It's not a bad strategy. 39 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:04,080 Speaker 4: That's kind of interesting. 40 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:04,840 Speaker 3: It didn't work. 41 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:08,240 Speaker 2: I mean, I like, stay for a little fit to 42 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:11,320 Speaker 2: be nice, but he ordered everything I said I liked 43 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 2: from my dating profiles. 44 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:22,960 Speaker 1: Yashi, a man memorizes it all too all right, Colleen, 45 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:23,680 Speaker 1: can you counter? 46 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:26,200 Speaker 5: Okay, you guys, So I was on this date with 47 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:28,040 Speaker 5: this guy and he was like a fitness guy and 48 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:31,240 Speaker 5: his profile and everything, so you know, this is unexpected. 49 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,519 Speaker 5: We're at a bar and we get our first drink 50 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:35,840 Speaker 5: and he pulls out protein powder and he pours it 51 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:43,040 Speaker 5: into his drink. Yeah alcohol, Yeah, Like it's disgusting, and 52 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,560 Speaker 5: you know what, that's weird. But it got worse. 53 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:45,959 Speaker 2: We ordered food. 54 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,640 Speaker 5: He got a steak and then he asked our bartender 55 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 5: if they could blend it for him. 56 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:54,880 Speaker 3: Why can't he chew it after he already had his 57 00:02:54,919 --> 00:02:55,720 Speaker 3: protein powder. 58 00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:59,280 Speaker 5: He said that it would make a digestion smoother. 59 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:02,919 Speaker 2: I mean it works for babies. 60 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:07,200 Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, and that's gonna start carrying around immerging blender. 61 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:11,120 Speaker 3: Those babies are pretty rib too, So there's something to Jessica. 62 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:15,400 Speaker 2: Okay, I had a great date with this guy, and 63 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:17,600 Speaker 2: so afterwards we go back to his place and we 64 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:20,600 Speaker 2: pull up to a knife fake house and I'm like, oh, okay, 65 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,560 Speaker 2: but then he tells me that it's his parents home 66 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,320 Speaker 2: and his spot is in the backyard. 67 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:27,400 Speaker 3: Okay, okay. 68 00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:30,280 Speaker 2: Sometimes there's like a little like casito or something in 69 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:31,640 Speaker 2: the back or those big houses. 70 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:36,080 Speaker 3: That's very hopeful, thinking Brook, Yeah, that's what I thought. 71 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:38,760 Speaker 2: So we go back there and it's a little shed 72 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,800 Speaker 2: with a candle, a bean bag and a window. 73 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:50,200 Speaker 3: That's a playhouse. Exactly the optimism you hung out though, 74 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:50,680 Speaker 3: didn't you. 75 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 2: I mean I didn't want to be rude, but like 76 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,720 Speaker 2: the worst part was said, every time he needed something, 77 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:58,600 Speaker 2: he would open the window and yell to his mom 78 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:00,520 Speaker 2: and he gets. 79 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:03,320 Speaker 3: Room service too. This guy sounds like that at all. 80 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:06,040 Speaker 3: He's a winner. I don't know why you let him go, 81 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:08,320 Speaker 3: but summarin, Colleen, you're up. 82 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:10,680 Speaker 5: So I went to an Italian restaurant with the dude 83 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:13,440 Speaker 5: and he completely freaked out on the after I ordered 84 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:15,240 Speaker 5: fetichini alfredo, like he. 85 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:20,720 Speaker 3: Was angry, why yes? Or maybe he was excited girl yo. 86 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:23,720 Speaker 5: Furious He says that it wasn't real Italian and how 87 00:04:23,839 --> 00:04:24,240 Speaker 5: dare I? 88 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:28,320 Speaker 3: Oh, this kind of kids food? 89 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:30,479 Speaker 5: It is interesting, Like I've been to Italy and I 90 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:33,040 Speaker 5: don't remember any alfredo and it's just. 91 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:36,479 Speaker 3: A horrible out there. It's not realize. 92 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,839 Speaker 5: So I ended up changing my order and I apologize. 93 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:40,360 Speaker 5: I was like, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to 94 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,719 Speaker 5: offend you. I didn't realize you were Italian. Oh wow, 95 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:46,360 Speaker 5: no wait but no, get this, he says, wait, no, 96 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:49,120 Speaker 5: I'm not Italian, but I've seen The Godfather like fifteen times, 97 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:51,360 Speaker 5: so I consider myself an honorary Paisana. 98 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:56,479 Speaker 1: I think the threshold is twelve watches and you're basically Italian. 99 00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:59,599 Speaker 3: What do you think I'm meaning ten pounds of ghoul. 100 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:01,880 Speaker 3: We're on to the third and final round. 101 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:04,440 Speaker 1: Here. We need your best stories, ladies. So Medica Jessica 102 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:05,080 Speaker 1: hit us with it. 103 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:07,760 Speaker 2: So I talked to a guy about how I like 104 00:05:07,839 --> 00:05:10,560 Speaker 2: to paint, and he played a surprise date that would 105 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,680 Speaker 2: have revolved around my love of art. 106 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:14,360 Speaker 3: That's cute, that's awesome. 107 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:18,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, until I showed up to the address. He texted 108 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:22,720 Speaker 2: me it was a kid's birthday party and he tells 109 00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:25,599 Speaker 2: me that I was going to be the featured faith painter. 110 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:30,599 Speaker 3: O is it his kid or a kid? 111 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:33,440 Speaker 2: No, it was just like a kid that he knew. 112 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:39,200 Speaker 2: After three hours, I only got paid in cake. 113 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 3: Actually for brook that's an improvement. Yeah, I didn't tell 114 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:44,719 Speaker 3: you kids don't tip. 115 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:48,960 Speaker 1: Well, Fairpoint Submarine Colleen is your last chance. 116 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:51,800 Speaker 5: Okay, So this is a post date. Went over to 117 00:05:51,839 --> 00:05:54,680 Speaker 5: his house and we're getting into bed. He takes his 118 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:57,960 Speaker 5: shirt off and my name is literally tattooed on his chet. 119 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:03,799 Speaker 1: What oh I meant it had to be like another 120 00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:04,800 Speaker 1: girlfriend or something. 121 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:07,560 Speaker 5: Yes, he says it was his active name, but that's 122 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:09,279 Speaker 5: why he only selects people. 123 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:09,880 Speaker 2: With her name. 124 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:15,839 Speaker 5: Doesn't have to get it removed, horrifine. 125 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:21,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, but that final bell means that the match is over. 126 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:23,760 Speaker 3: We have to score it. So Alexis, who are you 127 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:24,200 Speaker 3: giving it to? 128 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:25,599 Speaker 2: I'm gonna go Jessica. 129 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:27,560 Speaker 3: I mean it was your choice, but you were at 130 00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:30,640 Speaker 3: the guy's bean BAGSHD. That's one vote for Jessica. 131 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:34,359 Speaker 5: I'm sorry, I gotta go Colleen for liquid Steak. 132 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:38,040 Speaker 3: You're the deciding vote. 133 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:40,680 Speaker 4: I think getting roped into being the featured face painter 134 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:48,360 Speaker 4: is a awful Medica. Jessica, Yes, congratulations, you're our forsaken 135 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:52,000 Speaker 4: female of the league. And as a prize, Brooke will 136 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,640 Speaker 4: tell you her go to children's movie to hook up. 137 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:58,640 Speaker 3: To Can't Wait Wild Robot. 138 00:06:58,880 --> 00:06:59,679 Speaker 2: It's very. 139 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:03,000 Speaker 3: Gods don't pay for that one. 140 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:08,359 Speaker 4: It's you, all right, Well, take up for what it is. 141 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:10,480 Speaker 3: Text in seventy eight five nine two. 142 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:12,080 Speaker 1: If you want to appear on the next Battle of 143 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:13,800 Speaker 1: the Tender dates, your phone taps coming 144 00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:16,000 Speaker 5: Up Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.