WEBVTT - Are Dating Trends Broken? 0:00:00.960 --> 0:00:04.000 Do you have any resolutions specifically about dating or your 0:00:04.040 --> 0:00:04.560 love life. 0:00:04.600 --> 0:00:07.400 I think I want to approach dating with more of 0:00:07.600 --> 0:00:11.280 like this is just really fun mindset and not you know, 0:00:11.320 --> 0:00:14.880 put so much emphasis on the outcomes or anything that 0:00:14.880 --> 0:00:17.040 can happen, and really prioritize what I want. 0:00:19.440 --> 0:00:23.119 At our Voiceover Live show last December, our producer Emily 0:00:23.280 --> 0:00:26.079 asked people for their twenty twenty six dating resolutions to 0:00:26.160 --> 0:00:27.680 motivate us for the new year. 0:00:28.080 --> 0:00:32.960 I guess like to make my boundaries and expectations like stricter, 0:00:33.200 --> 0:00:36.519 because I realized when I keep my criteria loose, I 0:00:36.640 --> 0:00:38.880 just like keep getting disappointed. And I don't want to 0:00:38.960 --> 0:00:39.959 keep like wasting my. 0:00:40.000 --> 0:00:44.680 Energy becoming less mechanical when it comes to dating and 0:00:44.800 --> 0:00:48.120 doing more just like have it flow more naturally and 0:00:49.120 --> 0:00:52.599 less business meeting schedule dates. 0:00:52.640 --> 0:00:56.680 Just like prioritizing myself and my health. And I think 0:00:56.760 --> 0:01:00.280 like when you are like doing you in work, working 0:01:00.280 --> 0:01:02.280 on you, like that's when like the right person is 0:01:02.320 --> 0:01:03.920 going to come into your life at the right time. 0:01:15.160 --> 0:01:18.720 I'm hopewordered and welcome to Voiceover a space where we're 0:01:18.800 --> 0:01:21.839 learning and I'm learning all the myths we're taught about 0:01:21.920 --> 0:01:22.560 love and. 0:01:22.560 --> 0:01:36.280 Relationships Happy New Year. 0:01:36.360 --> 0:01:40.160 Happy New Year, twenty twenty six. 0:01:41.280 --> 0:01:42.720 Are you ready to start fresh? 0:01:42.880 --> 0:01:44.520 I feel amazing about this year. 0:01:44.600 --> 0:01:49.520 Hello, and happy new year to our voiceover listeners. In 0:01:49.640 --> 0:01:53.240 a stunning turn of events, I'm feeling pretty optimistic about 0:01:53.240 --> 0:01:56.040 the new year. I think change is on the horizon, 0:01:56.120 --> 0:01:59.520 and I want to stay positive about it. So I 0:01:59.560 --> 0:02:02.560 got on this studio with my producers Emily and Christina 0:02:02.680 --> 0:02:06.040 to bring some good energy into our expectations for twenty 0:02:06.080 --> 0:02:06.640 twenty six. 0:02:06.880 --> 0:02:08.320 Are you ready to start fresh? 0:02:08.520 --> 0:02:10.119 I feel amazing about this year. 0:02:10.600 --> 0:02:10.919 Wow. 0:02:10.960 --> 0:02:13.640 So I feel like twenty twenty six is kind of 0:02:13.680 --> 0:02:17.639 collectively leaving behind twenty twenty three, twenty twenty four, and 0:02:17.840 --> 0:02:18.760 twenty twenty five. 0:02:18.880 --> 0:02:22.320 There's something twenty twenty three being the year you started sober. 0:02:22.440 --> 0:02:27.160 Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, but also like beyond the boy 0:02:27.280 --> 0:02:29.400 sober of it all was, I think, just like the 0:02:29.560 --> 0:02:33.480 attention and like sort of figuring out how to deal 0:02:33.560 --> 0:02:34.160 with all that. 0:02:34.240 --> 0:02:37.320 Like I feel like my feet are finally underneath me, 0:02:37.600 --> 0:02:40.280 Like I love it. Definitely the most stable I've ever 0:02:40.320 --> 0:02:41.160 been in my life. 0:02:41.880 --> 0:02:42.679 I love it. 0:02:43.000 --> 0:02:46.639 That's amazing, And my life is a really huge that's 0:02:46.639 --> 0:02:51.000 a grand job, toty statement, but I do kind of 0:02:51.040 --> 0:02:51.720 feel that way. 0:02:51.760 --> 0:02:53.680 I'm like, Okay, my feet are under me. Like I 0:02:53.800 --> 0:02:58.040 like my job and I don't know something job. I 0:02:58.080 --> 0:03:00.800 love this job, I say. 0:03:00.680 --> 0:03:05.400 Us question, Yeah, with twenty twenty five in the past, hope, 0:03:05.440 --> 0:03:08.079 what would you say your dating resolutions are? 0:03:08.160 --> 0:03:10.079 Oh, god, well or twenty twenty. 0:03:09.919 --> 0:03:12.760 Fid I mean every single time I say a dating resolution, 0:03:12.840 --> 0:03:15.320 I do the opposite, because every single time you've ever 0:03:15.320 --> 0:03:17.000 asked me, I've said it's to give up men, and 0:03:17.040 --> 0:03:17.799 I've never done it. 0:03:18.080 --> 0:03:21.600 You know, I'd be more realistic to go micro you think, 0:03:21.800 --> 0:03:24.280 rather than say give up men, because I think, like 0:03:24.360 --> 0:03:26.320 my problem was always the typical, like I'm going to 0:03:26.400 --> 0:03:30.359 lose ten pounds and it's like you don't. But then 0:03:30.400 --> 0:03:32.280 I think I started to like shift in my head 0:03:32.280 --> 0:03:33.640 of like I'm going to. 0:03:33.639 --> 0:03:35.240 Start going to the gym more totally. 0:03:35.320 --> 0:03:38.520 I'm just going to start eating healthier, right, yeah, something 0:03:38.600 --> 0:03:41.440 like so simple, but like it's just a little shift 0:03:41.480 --> 0:03:44.440 because I hated making resolutions, right, I just felt like 0:03:44.760 --> 0:03:47.600 empty promises. Yeah, And so I think my goals are 0:03:47.680 --> 0:03:50.920 usually more something I know I can achieve totally. 0:03:50.880 --> 0:03:53.360 Because when you set a goal that you don't achieve, 0:03:53.400 --> 0:03:55.840 it's like then you feel bad about yourself, and then 0:03:55.880 --> 0:03:57.920 you like get further away from that goal, you. 0:03:57.920 --> 0:03:59.880 Feel like your failure, and then I might as. 0:03:59.840 --> 0:04:02.440 Well sort of just like go full force, and like. 0:04:03.120 --> 0:04:05.720 I don't know, I do feel like quite a shift though. 0:04:05.840 --> 0:04:08.440 I mean, like we've been talking about, it's like I 0:04:08.480 --> 0:04:11.200 feel more stability than ever I think over the last 0:04:11.240 --> 0:04:13.640 couple of years. Why I said like twenty twenty three, 0:04:13.720 --> 0:04:15.960 twenty twenty four, twenty twenty five feels like I'm sort 0:04:15.960 --> 0:04:18.599 of leaving it all behind is because those years have 0:04:18.760 --> 0:04:24.160 been so chaotic for me, like so intense, so uneasy, 0:04:24.560 --> 0:04:28.200 so sort of scattered, where it was like romance was 0:04:28.240 --> 0:04:31.119 a bit of a lifeline. And now I'm like going 0:04:31.160 --> 0:04:34.279 into this year and I just have a completely different sentiment, 0:04:34.800 --> 0:04:37.760 and it does feel like I've really gotten something out 0:04:37.760 --> 0:04:40.080 of my system. Something about jumping from a twenty four 0:04:40.120 --> 0:04:41.719 year old to a forty four year old sort of 0:04:41.760 --> 0:04:43.839 made me say, like, okay, you know what, let. 0:04:43.680 --> 0:04:48.320 Me like life update, let me like that's what I'm 0:04:48.360 --> 0:04:51.240 in a hope. In the past couple of months, I 0:04:51.240 --> 0:04:53.800 had a jump too, no Bright. 0:04:53.520 --> 0:04:56.840 And with both of them it was just sort of like, 0:04:56.880 --> 0:05:01.280 I don't really know if this was necessary, Like with 0:05:01.279 --> 0:05:03.520 the twenty four year old, he was my friend and 0:05:03.600 --> 0:05:05.920 now we are not friends, and I'm like. 0:05:06.360 --> 0:05:08.760 Yeah, it wasn't worth it, Like I don't really like 0:05:08.800 --> 0:05:09.400 to admit that. 0:05:10.000 --> 0:05:11.839 Like when my dad asked me, like, is there anything 0:05:11.839 --> 0:05:15.479 you would have changed about that situation? In my heart, 0:05:15.520 --> 0:05:17.000 I was like, I wish it had never happened. I 0:05:17.040 --> 0:05:19.520 wish I had never kissed him. You wish I wish 0:05:19.560 --> 0:05:21.880 I had never crossed that line. And I actually feel 0:05:21.880 --> 0:05:25.080 that way about so much, but I've been hesitant to 0:05:25.160 --> 0:05:28.440 admit it. So maybe like that's the micro version of 0:05:28.480 --> 0:05:31.640 this bigger goal, is that, like I don't really want 0:05:31.640 --> 0:05:34.880 to cross over into something with someone because you really 0:05:34.960 --> 0:05:36.719 cannot go back. 0:05:37.440 --> 0:05:38.440 It is just not the same. 0:05:39.480 --> 0:05:42.440 Well, part of the reason why we're here is also 0:05:42.520 --> 0:05:45.479 to look ahead at the year of dating, and since 0:05:45.520 --> 0:05:48.080 we have a lot of fun in the studio, I've 0:05:48.120 --> 0:05:51.360 gathered up dating trends for the year ahead. 0:05:51.400 --> 0:05:53.560 Love to hear that have been predicted by. 0:05:53.800 --> 0:05:57.839 Dating experts, apps, what have you, And so I'm going 0:05:57.920 --> 0:06:01.400 to read a few and you guys think I'm crimazing. 0:06:01.720 --> 0:06:07.520 So for twenty twenty six dating trends clear coding this is. 0:06:07.640 --> 0:06:09.839 Wait can we guess what that means before you tell it. 0:06:09.920 --> 0:06:12.200 Yes, okay, clear coating. 0:06:13.520 --> 0:06:17.360 Being transparent, like be honest and direct. 0:06:17.080 --> 0:06:21.120 Spelling out your dating intentions upfront. Okay, staying up front 0:06:21.200 --> 0:06:25.480 if you want casual, serious, what you're willing to tolerate 0:06:25.880 --> 0:06:26.400 no more. 0:06:26.720 --> 0:06:27.920 I don't know what I'm looking for. 0:06:28.200 --> 0:06:32.560 Oh my god, kill that. Yeah, kill that. That's the worst. 0:06:33.080 --> 0:06:35.200 Well, speaking of dating apps, it sounds like everyone's getting 0:06:35.200 --> 0:06:36.000 on field. 0:06:36.240 --> 0:06:37.880 Like it sounds like because those people. 0:06:37.600 --> 0:06:40.240 Are so upfront, those people, did I say it? 0:06:40.279 --> 0:06:43.480 Like those those people I've tried it. 0:06:45.000 --> 0:06:47.680 Hey, it's on and they spell it out. 0:06:48.560 --> 0:06:50.560 Maybe that's what worked for them, right, No, no, exactly. 0:06:50.640 --> 0:06:54.800 But there is like a radical transparency thing because there's 0:06:54.920 --> 0:06:57.760 like the hingeway where it's like they let you do 0:06:57.800 --> 0:07:01.080 the long term open short, short term opened along. It's 0:07:01.080 --> 0:07:03.520 like kind of a cop out. But there is a 0:07:03.520 --> 0:07:06.960 difference between that and the radical transparency of like, this 0:07:07.000 --> 0:07:09.159 is all I'm looking for, right, this is what I'm into. 0:07:09.560 --> 0:07:13.000 Well, and here's the truth about when someone gives you 0:07:13.080 --> 0:07:16.200 what they're honestly looking for. Is anyone on the receiving 0:07:16.280 --> 0:07:19.080 end of it, low key is probably wanting to change 0:07:19.080 --> 0:07:21.720 your mind. I feel like, so often people get into 0:07:21.760 --> 0:07:23.920 something with someone and one person is like, I'm not 0:07:23.920 --> 0:07:26.760 looking for anything serious, and then the other person is 0:07:26.760 --> 0:07:28.920 sort of like, let's see what happens. 0:07:28.600 --> 0:07:32.200 Though, right, you know, yeah, but that's but that's a problem. 0:07:34.840 --> 0:07:37.760 You'll change their mind, right, And so I think with 0:07:37.920 --> 0:07:39.920 clear coding, it could be like, all right, if the 0:07:39.960 --> 0:07:42.880 guy says I'm not looking for anything serious, you. 0:07:42.920 --> 0:07:44.840 Got to count them out, you got to walk away. 0:07:44.880 --> 0:07:47.320 Okay. So maybe that that this dating trend needs to 0:07:47.360 --> 0:07:50.640 be two part clear coding. But then also like hearing 0:07:50.760 --> 0:07:52.640 people when they tell you something. 0:07:52.520 --> 0:07:55.160 Right, you know, because the other person might not be 0:07:55.640 --> 0:07:59.960 as transparent as you want to, right, would you hope. 0:08:00.160 --> 0:08:00.920 Be clear coded? 0:08:01.040 --> 0:08:01.280 Yes? 0:08:01.520 --> 0:08:04.480 To be retrospective for a second, to think about last year, 0:08:04.680 --> 0:08:07.239 I would break things off pretty quickly. I'm not really 0:08:07.280 --> 0:08:10.800 someone these days who's trying to like trick at all. 0:08:11.000 --> 0:08:12.480 Like on a date, if someone asks you, like, what 0:08:12.480 --> 0:08:13.040 are you looking for? 0:08:13.120 --> 0:08:15.360 Do you say like, I mean, I'm looking for like 0:08:15.440 --> 0:08:16.200 a life partner. 0:08:16.320 --> 0:08:18.760 Do you say that to a person like or do 0:08:18.760 --> 0:08:19.720 you think they'll freak them out? 0:08:19.960 --> 0:08:21.840 I mean the forty four year old that I dated, 0:08:22.520 --> 0:08:25.240 I was asking him pretty point blank about how he 0:08:25.280 --> 0:08:27.520 sees the future and what he wants with like family, 0:08:27.600 --> 0:08:29.920 like not really certain if I want to get married 0:08:30.000 --> 0:08:32.000 or not. I asked him, like, he is getting married 0:08:32.040 --> 0:08:35.080 something you want? And he tried to say maybe, but 0:08:35.120 --> 0:08:37.120 you could tell it was a no. And it was 0:08:37.160 --> 0:08:39.760 like do you want kids? And he like tried to 0:08:39.840 --> 0:08:43.240 be like I could want kids, and I'm like, okay, 0:08:43.240 --> 0:08:43.719 then that's a no. 0:08:44.120 --> 0:08:46.440 At forty four, you should know, that's what I'm saying. 0:08:46.600 --> 0:08:48.560 And I'm also like to be forty four years old 0:08:48.640 --> 0:08:50.960 and to not want to sort of like be a 0:08:51.000 --> 0:08:53.520 part of something it feels like bigger than yourself, like 0:08:53.559 --> 0:08:55.240 not everyone needs to have kids, not everyone needs to 0:08:55.240 --> 0:08:57.640 get married, of course, right, But it was just sort 0:08:57.679 --> 0:09:00.440 of giving, like are you not trying to like leave 0:09:00.520 --> 0:09:02.760 any kind of legacy? And I don't even mean that 0:09:03.400 --> 0:09:05.679 in like a familial way, right, but just like what 0:09:05.720 --> 0:09:07.080 are you building and with who? 0:09:07.280 --> 0:09:08.520 That's sort of the question that. 0:09:08.480 --> 0:09:10.439 Is, and that's nothing you want it, right, So I'm 0:09:10.440 --> 0:09:11.680 proud of you. You cut it off. 0:09:11.720 --> 0:09:13.520 I know, look at that so I can be I 0:09:13.520 --> 0:09:16.240 can be clear coded, but I guess I'm also aware 0:09:16.320 --> 0:09:17.800 of how I can change my mind. 0:09:18.600 --> 0:09:19.640 Do you have anything in life? 0:09:19.760 --> 0:09:22.520 I mean, I feel like I have been something that 0:09:22.520 --> 0:09:25.040 I've gotten better at in dating is being like, I 0:09:25.040 --> 0:09:28.000 am definitely looking for something, but it's also hard because 0:09:28.640 --> 0:09:30.760 I'm not opposed to like, what if something fun happened 0:09:30.760 --> 0:09:33.520 in the middle, and like if there is something of like, 0:09:33.600 --> 0:09:35.320 I don't want to close the door. So I have 0:09:35.440 --> 0:09:37.880 been really upfront with what I want, but I'm also like, 0:09:37.960 --> 0:09:38.240 but we. 0:09:38.200 --> 0:09:39.480 Can have a fun, little cheeky time. 0:09:40.480 --> 0:09:43.160 The fun part about that is the surprise of it happened. 0:09:43.840 --> 0:09:45.800 So I think when you state that you want that, 0:09:46.400 --> 0:09:48.880 it kind of takes out the element of spotan eighty 0:09:49.600 --> 0:09:52.000 and makes it seem like you're planning for it, you 0:09:52.040 --> 0:09:52.560 know what I mean. 0:09:52.880 --> 0:09:55.480 Yeah, there's something about the clear coded thing where it 0:09:55.600 --> 0:09:58.240 sort of like dismisses like all of our ability to 0:09:58.360 --> 0:10:01.120 just like change the way we think, change what we feel. 0:10:01.600 --> 0:10:04.000 You never you can be as direct as possible, but 0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:06.160 you spend a week with somebody and something could. 0:10:06.120 --> 0:10:08.080 Change, which this I don't know if you want to 0:10:08.080 --> 0:10:10.320 get into this discussion right now, but like the whole 0:10:10.320 --> 0:10:13.120 concept of even having these terms I feel like has 0:10:13.200 --> 0:10:14.679 gone overboard totally. 0:10:15.320 --> 0:10:18.160 As the woman who started the word ye. 0:10:19.640 --> 0:10:23.080 Apologize a little too far. 0:10:23.679 --> 0:10:25.080 It is pretty ridiculous. 0:10:25.160 --> 0:10:25.800 We need them. 0:10:27.480 --> 0:10:28.760 Everything like there is. 0:10:28.840 --> 0:10:31.920 Sometimes it makes sense, like there wasn't a name for 0:10:32.000 --> 0:10:34.440 a feeling that you might have. But sometimes it's like 0:10:34.600 --> 0:10:37.800 you could have just said obsession. You know, you could 0:10:37.800 --> 0:10:39.600 have just said this one word. We don't have to 0:10:39.640 --> 0:10:41.600 make some like weird thing. 0:10:41.760 --> 0:10:42.679 It's like an interesting thing. 0:10:42.720 --> 0:10:44.480 I think it's just a product of the Internet though, 0:10:44.520 --> 0:10:47.760 with like how quickly everything is moving, it's like people 0:10:47.800 --> 0:10:49.760 need new things, people need new words, people need new 0:10:49.800 --> 0:10:51.960 identities like trends or fat you know what I mean. 0:10:52.000 --> 0:10:54.320 It's just like speaking of let me bring up this 0:10:54.480 --> 0:11:02.160 next word, great transition. Kim riizdry Kim riztory. Of course 0:11:03.040 --> 0:11:07.320 you're charismatic as hell. Yeah you got charisma together. Yeah, 0:11:07.440 --> 0:11:10.000 you're working the room together, you're making people laugh together, 0:11:10.280 --> 0:11:11.320 you're going to the party. 0:11:12.480 --> 0:11:13.400 Magnetica tract. 0:11:13.440 --> 0:11:16.280 It's a combination of chemistry and RIZ. 0:11:17.040 --> 0:11:20.319 So you're catching that unexpected chemistry with someone that you 0:11:20.480 --> 0:11:22.000 didn't think that you'd be into. 0:11:22.240 --> 0:11:25.680 Oh okay, well again, you gotta let people. 0:11:25.679 --> 0:11:29.600 It's not just like, oh, you have chemistry, it's unexpected chemistry. 0:11:29.800 --> 0:11:32.720 They've got the RIZ. I can't say that with this, 0:11:32.800 --> 0:11:33.080 can I. 0:11:33.080 --> 0:11:33.760 Say something else. 0:11:33.840 --> 0:11:37.840 Yeah, Yes, in twenty twenty six, I think I would 0:11:37.920 --> 0:11:41.640 like to get away from my historic type. Okay, my 0:11:41.720 --> 0:11:44.960 friend Dalton said specifically, no more stinky white boys. 0:11:45.040 --> 0:11:46.680 So it's like they can be white, but they can't 0:11:46.679 --> 0:11:47.200 be stinky. 0:11:47.640 --> 0:11:51.680 But also just try to get away from my type 0:11:51.720 --> 0:11:53.320 and try would you say your type. 0:11:53.120 --> 0:11:54.520 Is stinky white boys? 0:11:54.600 --> 0:11:57.760 Well, just that was the last one, and just laugh you. 0:11:58.000 --> 0:11:59.680 I mean I also had that other one. Y'all have 0:11:59.720 --> 0:12:03.840 seen I pass. Yeah, So anyways, no more stinky boys. 0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:06.560 Maybe we can just leave it at back, get away 0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:08.920 from and get away from my type. I would like 0:12:09.120 --> 0:12:11.960 so to bring it back to kim Ris Dreem. I 0:12:11.960 --> 0:12:15.000 think there's an element of surprise to this dating trend. Yeah, 0:12:15.200 --> 0:12:17.920 consider someone you wouldn't maybe, yeah, or maybe just being 0:12:18.000 --> 0:12:18.560 open minded. 0:12:18.600 --> 0:12:19.240 Yeah, I like that. 0:12:19.480 --> 0:12:21.920 Yeah, I like I would say I've always been picky 0:12:21.960 --> 0:12:24.400 in my past, and I think that was a detriment 0:12:24.520 --> 0:12:25.880 to my dating life. 0:12:26.080 --> 0:12:27.280 Because they were all assholes. 0:12:27.559 --> 0:12:31.280 They all fit the mold perfectly, and like, in hindsight, 0:12:31.559 --> 0:12:33.960 I ended up wasting so many dates, so many months, 0:12:33.960 --> 0:12:36.160 so many years, chasing after the wrong one. 0:12:36.320 --> 0:12:39.400 Yeah, trying to put somebody like make a list for 0:12:39.480 --> 0:12:42.480 somebody and dismissing if they didn't check the boxes, and 0:12:42.480 --> 0:12:43.400 then you can't have fun. 0:12:43.559 --> 0:12:45.520 No, and you want to be able to have fun. 0:12:51.600 --> 0:12:54.160 I guess my resolutions about dating is be a lot 0:12:54.240 --> 0:12:57.200 more intentional with who I'm dating and who I'm spending 0:12:57.200 --> 0:12:57.760 my time with. 0:12:58.160 --> 0:13:01.800 I mean, I would love to serious, way intentionally. 0:13:01.240 --> 0:13:05.520 Date, raising the standard for who I'm willing to give 0:13:05.600 --> 0:13:06.400 multiple dates to. 0:13:06.840 --> 0:13:08.280 I want to lower my standards. 0:13:08.800 --> 0:13:11.680 I want to give everyone a chance, because then I 0:13:11.679 --> 0:13:14.640 don't know. There comes a time where I feel like 0:13:15.240 --> 0:13:17.880 you never know who it's gonna match a freak. 0:13:20.160 --> 0:13:26.160 Okay, zip coding mm mmm, is this like judging someone 0:13:26.200 --> 0:13:27.160 based on where they live? 0:13:27.840 --> 0:13:29.520 Okay, I have a guess. 0:13:30.080 --> 0:13:32.040 I think maybe you put yourself in a new zip 0:13:32.040 --> 0:13:33.679 code to see if you can date outside of where 0:13:33.720 --> 0:13:35.320 you live, if you're like on the apps. 0:13:36.080 --> 0:13:40.880 Oh interesting, Okay, it's actually the opposite of that. People 0:13:41.520 --> 0:13:44.720 set a very tight radius on their dating app filter 0:13:45.320 --> 0:13:48.360 so that they keep themselves from meeting anyone outside of 0:13:48.360 --> 0:13:49.280 their own zip code. 0:13:49.320 --> 0:13:53.000 Okay, but I think people are lazy and don't want 0:13:53.000 --> 0:13:53.520 to travel. 0:13:54.640 --> 0:13:54.960 Okay. 0:13:54.960 --> 0:13:56.719 To me, it's given convenience. 0:13:59.000 --> 0:14:01.920 It's giving I was doing pretty water, the soil in 0:14:01.920 --> 0:14:02.280 front of you. 0:14:02.400 --> 0:14:07.320 I mean, such a Yorker, I understand that an Upper 0:14:07.320 --> 0:14:09.880 east Side to Brooklyn is a long distance relationship. 0:14:14.040 --> 0:14:17.480 Yeah, I will say I zip coated. 0:14:17.840 --> 0:14:19.840 Oh yeah, yeah yeah. 0:14:19.640 --> 0:14:21.440 And by chance, that is how I ended up meeting 0:14:21.480 --> 0:14:25.200 my husband because I was very lazy and I did 0:14:25.240 --> 0:14:27.000 not want to travel to the Upper west Side. 0:14:27.120 --> 0:14:32.800 And you found and you found a nice I did 0:14:32.960 --> 0:14:37.840 find a very you to our homebody. We fit on 0:14:37.920 --> 0:14:41.000 the couch perfectly, and he was a fifteen minute walk 0:14:41.080 --> 0:14:42.840 in my face, and I was like, yes. 0:14:42.880 --> 0:14:45.040 That's a great zip code. 0:14:45.200 --> 0:14:46.360 There's pros and cons to it. 0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:51.120 To see somebody at a coffee shop today, who just anyways. 0:14:50.880 --> 0:14:52.960 Yeah, but what's the kind of person you are? 0:14:53.520 --> 0:14:55.400 I'm trying to apply it to like other cities, but no, 0:14:55.480 --> 0:14:57.600 I think I'm just overall lazy. I think that if 0:14:57.640 --> 0:14:59.480 I were in like a city and have to drive 0:14:59.720 --> 0:15:01.720 for five to an hour and a half away, I 0:15:01.720 --> 0:15:03.080 got this long distance. 0:15:03.600 --> 0:15:05.200 No, yeah, it's going to happen. 0:15:05.360 --> 0:15:07.760 Too lazy for that. I've better things to do. 0:15:08.040 --> 0:15:10.280 Okay, I like zip coding. I think it's a good idea. 0:15:11.880 --> 0:15:14.240 Hot take dating, Okay. 0:15:14.480 --> 0:15:20.640 You're doing subway takes with the person you're what's dick. 0:15:20.640 --> 0:15:23.480 Like the really strong personalities who are always arguing. 0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:26.640 Yeah, okay, say your most offensive thing on the first day. 0:15:27.120 --> 0:15:29.440 It's not being a political. 0:15:29.520 --> 0:15:32.880 Not being a political yeah, of course. 0:15:32.600 --> 0:15:35.280 So not holding back the very beginning of like what 0:15:35.320 --> 0:15:38.520 your beliefs are and politics, religion and all of that. 0:15:38.680 --> 0:15:39.720 Don't put a filter on. 0:15:40.560 --> 0:15:40.960 I know. 0:15:41.080 --> 0:15:42.680 I would imagine that it probably. 0:15:42.320 --> 0:15:45.600 Breaks up or is the source of many arguments for 0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:47.640 people if they hold it back in the beginning, and 0:15:47.640 --> 0:15:49.200 then you come to find out you don't have the 0:15:49.240 --> 0:15:51.400 same beliefs, which is. 0:15:51.360 --> 0:15:54.640 Important right now? Correct, I mean always important, but important? 0:15:54.680 --> 0:15:58.800 Maybe? No, Okay, there, I could play the devil's advocate 0:15:58.800 --> 0:16:01.440 for a moment. Yes, just because I feel like there 0:16:01.520 --> 0:16:04.320 is sort of this like moral superiority happening with women 0:16:04.360 --> 0:16:06.680 on the left who don't date men on the right. 0:16:06.920 --> 0:16:10.200 There's something about the separatism of that that just makes 0:16:10.280 --> 0:16:14.200 me go like, I don't know. I mean, I could 0:16:14.240 --> 0:16:17.640 never do it, Like imagine me dating a Republican or something. 0:16:18.040 --> 0:16:19.840 It's never gonna it's never gonna happen. 0:16:20.040 --> 0:16:22.000 Some people, some people can do it, though. 0:16:22.240 --> 0:16:24.400 It would be interesting if people could do it now 0:16:24.560 --> 0:16:28.480 though yeah, I can see like parents and earlier generations 0:16:28.480 --> 0:16:29.640 doing it right. 0:16:29.560 --> 0:16:31.960 Now when everything was a little more in the middle, 0:16:32.080 --> 0:16:38.760 more boring and just calm bat but right, like you know, 0:16:38.880 --> 0:16:41.800 we can we can align socially but not politically, but 0:16:41.840 --> 0:16:44.760 not politically, And I feel like that's that just doesn't 0:16:44.760 --> 0:16:47.320 feel as true now right, just like the social is 0:16:47.360 --> 0:16:48.080 political right now? 0:16:48.240 --> 0:16:48.440 Right? 0:16:49.000 --> 0:16:52.080 Okay, friend fluence. 0:16:52.200 --> 0:16:55.160 M letting your friends decide who you date or not. 0:16:55.520 --> 0:16:57.760 The real matchmakers are the group chat. 0:16:58.440 --> 0:17:01.800 Oh I'm really into this, okay, because I want to 0:17:01.800 --> 0:17:03.720 be meeting people in person and I'm kind of begging 0:17:03.720 --> 0:17:06.080 to be set up right now, right, So I think 0:17:06.119 --> 0:17:08.240 we've lost the art of the setup. I think our 0:17:08.240 --> 0:17:10.840 one Harry Metsally episode taught that to us, that we 0:17:10.880 --> 0:17:11.600 have lost. 0:17:11.320 --> 0:17:12.119 All these arts. 0:17:12.640 --> 0:17:14.520 One of my resolutions of like get more connected to 0:17:14.560 --> 0:17:17.720 community is to like be meeting people more organically and 0:17:17.880 --> 0:17:20.800 like just why in your circle enough to like let 0:17:20.920 --> 0:17:24.639 opportunities come to you. Yeah, yeah, but then and then 0:17:24.680 --> 0:17:26.959 also like no one knows you better than your friends. 0:17:27.040 --> 0:17:30.119 I have also been seeing that double dates seems to 0:17:30.160 --> 0:17:33.080 be a trend that's starting to happen more now in. 0:17:33.040 --> 0:17:37.800 This Yeah, I mean a double date, first date, I mean, 0:17:37.920 --> 0:17:41.720 that's that's the one Harry Metsally scene, which is for both. 0:17:41.800 --> 0:17:44.960 Yeah, that would be well, that's also just like super. 0:17:44.960 --> 0:17:47.000 That is fun because it's just like I could see 0:17:47.000 --> 0:17:52.120 it being just like a low key Hanks, these two 0:17:52.119 --> 0:17:53.959 people that could be good good for each other. 0:17:54.119 --> 0:17:55.200 That'd be a fun experience. 0:17:55.320 --> 0:17:57.040 I tested that out, and then they can decide if 0:17:57.040 --> 0:17:57.840 they want to meet again. 0:17:58.320 --> 0:17:59.400 Yeah, I think that'd be fun. 0:17:59.600 --> 0:18:00.760 More double dates. 0:18:00.960 --> 0:18:04.440 Yeah, yeah, okay, Digital Love coaches. 0:18:05.400 --> 0:18:08.640 No, you know, is it a person or no? 0:18:09.920 --> 0:18:10.720 You know it's Ai. 0:18:11.000 --> 0:18:15.119 No, I know, but it is on the rise and 0:18:15.160 --> 0:18:16.560 it's gonna be even more so. 0:18:16.760 --> 0:18:20.040 I saw the video of a woman in Japan getting married. 0:18:19.800 --> 0:18:22.600 To her AI character and she's like walking down an 0:18:22.640 --> 0:18:25.360 aisle and there was like a phone. It's just very 0:18:25.600 --> 0:18:28.720 her coded, you know what I mean, Phoenix coded. 0:18:28.840 --> 0:18:30.280 See, that's a different level. 0:18:30.520 --> 0:18:31.600