1 00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:04,000 Speaker 1: Do you have any resolutions specifically about dating or your 2 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:04,560 Speaker 1: love life. 3 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:07,400 Speaker 2: I think I want to approach dating with more of 4 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:11,280 Speaker 2: like this is just really fun mindset and not you know, 5 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:14,880 Speaker 2: put so much emphasis on the outcomes or anything that 6 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:17,040 Speaker 2: can happen, and really prioritize what I want. 7 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:23,119 Speaker 3: At our Voiceover Live show last December, our producer Emily 8 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:26,079 Speaker 3: asked people for their twenty twenty six dating resolutions to 9 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:27,680 Speaker 3: motivate us for the new year. 10 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:32,960 Speaker 4: I guess like to make my boundaries and expectations like stricter, 11 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:36,519 Speaker 4: because I realized when I keep my criteria loose, I 12 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:38,880 Speaker 4: just like keep getting disappointed. And I don't want to 13 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:39,959 Speaker 4: keep like wasting my. 14 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:44,680 Speaker 5: Energy becoming less mechanical when it comes to dating and 15 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:48,120 Speaker 5: doing more just like have it flow more naturally and 16 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:52,599 Speaker 5: less business meeting schedule dates. 17 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:56,680 Speaker 6: Just like prioritizing myself and my health. And I think 18 00:00:56,760 --> 00:01:00,280 Speaker 6: like when you are like doing you in work, working 19 00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:02,280 Speaker 6: on you, like that's when like the right person is 20 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:03,920 Speaker 6: going to come into your life at the right time. 21 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:18,720 Speaker 3: I'm hopewordered and welcome to Voiceover a space where we're 22 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:21,839 Speaker 3: learning and I'm learning all the myths we're taught about 23 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:22,560 Speaker 3: love and. 24 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:36,280 Speaker 7: Relationships Happy New Year. 25 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:40,160 Speaker 3: Happy New Year, twenty twenty six. 26 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:42,720 Speaker 8: Are you ready to start fresh? 27 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:44,520 Speaker 9: I feel amazing about this year. 28 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:49,520 Speaker 3: Hello, and happy new year to our voiceover listeners. In 29 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:53,240 Speaker 3: a stunning turn of events, I'm feeling pretty optimistic about 30 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:56,040 Speaker 3: the new year. I think change is on the horizon, 31 00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:59,520 Speaker 3: and I want to stay positive about it. So I 32 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:02,560 Speaker 3: got on this studio with my producers Emily and Christina 33 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:06,040 Speaker 3: to bring some good energy into our expectations for twenty 34 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:06,640 Speaker 3: twenty six. 35 00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:08,320 Speaker 8: Are you ready to start fresh? 36 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:10,119 Speaker 9: I feel amazing about this year. 37 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:10,919 Speaker 8: Wow. 38 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:13,640 Speaker 3: So I feel like twenty twenty six is kind of 39 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:17,639 Speaker 3: collectively leaving behind twenty twenty three, twenty twenty four, and 40 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:18,760 Speaker 3: twenty twenty five. 41 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:22,320 Speaker 1: There's something twenty twenty three being the year you started sober. 42 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:27,160 Speaker 10: Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, but also like beyond the boy 43 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:29,400 Speaker 10: sober of it all was, I think, just like the 44 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:33,480 Speaker 10: attention and like sort of figuring out how to deal 45 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:34,160 Speaker 10: with all that. 46 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:37,320 Speaker 3: Like I feel like my feet are finally underneath me, 47 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:40,280 Speaker 3: Like I love it. Definitely the most stable I've ever 48 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:41,160 Speaker 3: been in my life. 49 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:42,679 Speaker 7: I love it. 50 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:46,639 Speaker 1: That's amazing, And my life is a really huge that's 51 00:02:46,639 --> 00:02:51,000 Speaker 1: a grand job, toty statement, but I do kind of 52 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:51,720 Speaker 1: feel that way. 53 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:53,680 Speaker 3: I'm like, Okay, my feet are under me. Like I 54 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:58,040 Speaker 3: like my job and I don't know something job. I 55 00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:00,800 Speaker 3: love this job, I say. 56 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:05,400 Speaker 11: Us question, Yeah, with twenty twenty five in the past, hope, 57 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:08,079 Speaker 11: what would you say your dating resolutions are? 58 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:10,079 Speaker 8: Oh, god, well or twenty twenty. 59 00:03:09,919 --> 00:03:12,760 Speaker 3: Fid I mean every single time I say a dating resolution, 60 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:15,320 Speaker 3: I do the opposite, because every single time you've ever 61 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,000 Speaker 3: asked me, I've said it's to give up men, and 62 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:17,799 Speaker 3: I've never done it. 63 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:21,600 Speaker 11: You know, I'd be more realistic to go micro you think, 64 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:24,280 Speaker 11: rather than say give up men, because I think, like 65 00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:26,320 Speaker 11: my problem was always the typical, like I'm going to 66 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:30,359 Speaker 11: lose ten pounds and it's like you don't. But then 67 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:32,280 Speaker 11: I think I started to like shift in my head 68 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:33,640 Speaker 11: of like I'm going to. 69 00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:35,240 Speaker 8: Start going to the gym more totally. 70 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 11: I'm just going to start eating healthier, right, yeah, something 71 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:41,440 Speaker 11: like so simple, but like it's just a little shift 72 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:44,440 Speaker 11: because I hated making resolutions, right, I just felt like 73 00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:47,600 Speaker 11: empty promises. Yeah, And so I think my goals are 74 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:50,920 Speaker 11: usually more something I know I can achieve totally. 75 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:53,360 Speaker 3: Because when you set a goal that you don't achieve, 76 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,840 Speaker 3: it's like then you feel bad about yourself, and then 77 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:57,920 Speaker 3: you like get further away from that goal, you. 78 00:03:57,920 --> 00:03:59,880 Speaker 8: Feel like your failure, and then I might as. 79 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 12: Well sort of just like go full force, and like. 80 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:05,720 Speaker 3: I don't know, I do feel like quite a shift though. 81 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,440 Speaker 3: I mean, like we've been talking about, it's like I 82 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:11,200 Speaker 3: feel more stability than ever I think over the last 83 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:13,640 Speaker 3: couple of years. Why I said like twenty twenty three, 84 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,960 Speaker 3: twenty twenty four, twenty twenty five feels like I'm sort 85 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,599 Speaker 3: of leaving it all behind is because those years have 86 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:24,160 Speaker 3: been so chaotic for me, like so intense, so uneasy, 87 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:28,200 Speaker 3: so sort of scattered, where it was like romance was 88 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:31,119 Speaker 3: a bit of a lifeline. And now I'm like going 89 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:34,279 Speaker 3: into this year and I just have a completely different sentiment, 90 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:37,760 Speaker 3: and it does feel like I've really gotten something out 91 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:40,080 Speaker 3: of my system. Something about jumping from a twenty four 92 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:41,719 Speaker 3: year old to a forty four year old sort of 93 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:43,839 Speaker 3: made me say, like, okay, you know what, let. 94 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:48,320 Speaker 1: Me like life update, let me like that's what I'm 95 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:51,240 Speaker 1: in a hope. In the past couple of months, I 96 00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:53,800 Speaker 1: had a jump too, no Bright. 97 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:56,840 Speaker 3: And with both of them it was just sort of like, 98 00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:01,280 Speaker 3: I don't really know if this was necessary, Like with 99 00:05:01,279 --> 00:05:03,520 Speaker 3: the twenty four year old, he was my friend and 100 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:05,920 Speaker 3: now we are not friends, and I'm like. 101 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:08,760 Speaker 9: Yeah, it wasn't worth it, Like I don't really like 102 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:09,400 Speaker 9: to admit that. 103 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,839 Speaker 3: Like when my dad asked me, like, is there anything 104 00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:15,479 Speaker 3: you would have changed about that situation? In my heart, 105 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:17,000 Speaker 3: I was like, I wish it had never happened. I 106 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:19,520 Speaker 3: wish I had never kissed him. You wish I wish 107 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:21,880 Speaker 3: I had never crossed that line. And I actually feel 108 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:25,080 Speaker 3: that way about so much, but I've been hesitant to 109 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:28,440 Speaker 3: admit it. So maybe like that's the micro version of 110 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:31,640 Speaker 3: this bigger goal, is that, like I don't really want 111 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:34,880 Speaker 3: to cross over into something with someone because you really 112 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,719 Speaker 3: cannot go back. 113 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:38,440 Speaker 9: It is just not the same. 114 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:42,440 Speaker 11: Well, part of the reason why we're here is also 115 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:45,479 Speaker 11: to look ahead at the year of dating, and since 116 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:48,080 Speaker 11: we have a lot of fun in the studio, I've 117 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:51,360 Speaker 11: gathered up dating trends for the year ahead. 118 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:53,560 Speaker 8: Love to hear that have been predicted by. 119 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:57,839 Speaker 11: Dating experts, apps, what have you, And so I'm going 120 00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:01,400 Speaker 11: to read a few and you guys think I'm crimazing. 121 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:07,520 Speaker 11: So for twenty twenty six dating trends clear coding this is. 122 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:09,839 Speaker 9: Wait can we guess what that means before you tell it. 123 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:12,200 Speaker 8: Yes, okay, clear coating. 124 00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:17,360 Speaker 9: Being transparent, like be honest and direct. 125 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:21,120 Speaker 11: Spelling out your dating intentions upfront. Okay, staying up front 126 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:25,480 Speaker 11: if you want casual, serious, what you're willing to tolerate 127 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:26,400 Speaker 11: no more. 128 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:27,920 Speaker 9: I don't know what I'm looking for. 129 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:32,560 Speaker 8: Oh my god, kill that. Yeah, kill that. That's the worst. 130 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:35,200 Speaker 1: Well, speaking of dating apps, it sounds like everyone's getting 131 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:36,000 Speaker 1: on field. 132 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 12: Like it sounds like because those people. 133 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:40,240 Speaker 1: Are so upfront, those people, did I say it? 134 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:43,480 Speaker 8: Like those those people I've tried it. 135 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,680 Speaker 12: Hey, it's on and they spell it out. 136 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:50,560 Speaker 8: Maybe that's what worked for them, right, No, no, exactly. 137 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:54,800 Speaker 1: But there is like a radical transparency thing because there's 138 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:57,760 Speaker 1: like the hingeway where it's like they let you do 139 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:01,080 Speaker 1: the long term open short, short term opened along. It's 140 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:03,520 Speaker 1: like kind of a cop out. But there is a 141 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:06,960 Speaker 1: difference between that and the radical transparency of like, this 142 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:09,159 Speaker 1: is all I'm looking for, right, this is what I'm into. 143 00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:13,000 Speaker 3: Well, and here's the truth about when someone gives you 144 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:16,200 Speaker 3: what they're honestly looking for. Is anyone on the receiving 145 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:19,080 Speaker 3: end of it, low key is probably wanting to change 146 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:21,720 Speaker 3: your mind. I feel like, so often people get into 147 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:23,920 Speaker 3: something with someone and one person is like, I'm not 148 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:26,760 Speaker 3: looking for anything serious, and then the other person is 149 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:28,920 Speaker 3: sort of like, let's see what happens. 150 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:32,200 Speaker 12: Though, right, you know, yeah, but that's but that's a problem. 151 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:37,760 Speaker 11: You'll change their mind, right, And so I think with 152 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:39,920 Speaker 11: clear coding, it could be like, all right, if the 153 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,880 Speaker 11: guy says I'm not looking for anything serious, you. 154 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:44,840 Speaker 9: Got to count them out, you got to walk away. 155 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:47,320 Speaker 3: Okay. So maybe that that this dating trend needs to 156 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:50,640 Speaker 3: be two part clear coding. But then also like hearing 157 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:52,640 Speaker 3: people when they tell you something. 158 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:55,160 Speaker 11: Right, you know, because the other person might not be 159 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:59,960 Speaker 11: as transparent as you want to, right, would you hope. 160 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:00,920 Speaker 9: Be clear coded? 161 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:01,280 Speaker 8: Yes? 162 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:04,480 Speaker 3: To be retrospective for a second, to think about last year, 163 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:07,239 Speaker 3: I would break things off pretty quickly. I'm not really 164 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:10,800 Speaker 3: someone these days who's trying to like trick at all. 165 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,480 Speaker 8: Like on a date, if someone asks you, like, what 166 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:13,040 Speaker 8: are you looking for? 167 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:15,360 Speaker 9: Do you say like, I mean, I'm looking for like 168 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:16,200 Speaker 9: a life partner. 169 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:18,760 Speaker 8: Do you say that to a person like or do 170 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:19,720 Speaker 8: you think they'll freak them out? 171 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:21,840 Speaker 3: I mean the forty four year old that I dated, 172 00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:25,240 Speaker 3: I was asking him pretty point blank about how he 173 00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:27,520 Speaker 3: sees the future and what he wants with like family, 174 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:29,920 Speaker 3: like not really certain if I want to get married 175 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,000 Speaker 3: or not. I asked him, like, he is getting married 176 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:35,080 Speaker 3: something you want? And he tried to say maybe, but 177 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:37,120 Speaker 3: you could tell it was a no. And it was 178 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,760 Speaker 3: like do you want kids? And he like tried to 179 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:43,240 Speaker 3: be like I could want kids, and I'm like, okay, 180 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:43,719 Speaker 3: then that's a no. 181 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:46,440 Speaker 8: At forty four, you should know, that's what I'm saying. 182 00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:48,560 Speaker 3: And I'm also like to be forty four years old 183 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:50,960 Speaker 3: and to not want to sort of like be a 184 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,520 Speaker 3: part of something it feels like bigger than yourself, like 185 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:55,240 Speaker 3: not everyone needs to have kids, not everyone needs to 186 00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:57,640 Speaker 3: get married, of course, right, But it was just sort 187 00:08:57,679 --> 00:09:00,440 Speaker 3: of giving, like are you not trying to like leave 188 00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:02,760 Speaker 3: any kind of legacy? And I don't even mean that 189 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:05,679 Speaker 3: in like a familial way, right, but just like what 190 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,080 Speaker 3: are you building and with who? 191 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,520 Speaker 9: That's sort of the question that. 192 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:10,439 Speaker 8: Is, and that's nothing you want it, right, So I'm 193 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:11,680 Speaker 8: proud of you. You cut it off. 194 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:13,520 Speaker 3: I know, look at that so I can be I 195 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:16,240 Speaker 3: can be clear coded, but I guess I'm also aware 196 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:17,800 Speaker 3: of how I can change my mind. 197 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:19,640 Speaker 9: Do you have anything in life? 198 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:22,520 Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like I have been something that 199 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:25,040 Speaker 1: I've gotten better at in dating is being like, I 200 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:28,000 Speaker 1: am definitely looking for something, but it's also hard because 201 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,760 Speaker 1: I'm not opposed to like, what if something fun happened 202 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:33,520 Speaker 1: in the middle, and like if there is something of like, 203 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,320 Speaker 1: I don't want to close the door. So I have 204 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:37,880 Speaker 1: been really upfront with what I want, but I'm also like, 205 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:38,240 Speaker 1: but we. 206 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:39,480 Speaker 12: Can have a fun, little cheeky time. 207 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,160 Speaker 8: The fun part about that is the surprise of it happened. 208 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:45,800 Speaker 11: So I think when you state that you want that, 209 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:48,880 Speaker 11: it kind of takes out the element of spotan eighty 210 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:52,000 Speaker 11: and makes it seem like you're planning for it, you 211 00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:52,560 Speaker 11: know what I mean. 212 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:55,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, there's something about the clear coded thing where it 213 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:58,240 Speaker 3: sort of like dismisses like all of our ability to 214 00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:01,120 Speaker 3: just like change the way we think, change what we feel. 215 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:04,000 Speaker 3: You never you can be as direct as possible, but 216 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:06,160 Speaker 3: you spend a week with somebody and something could. 217 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:08,080 Speaker 1: Change, which this I don't know if you want to 218 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:10,320 Speaker 1: get into this discussion right now, but like the whole 219 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:13,120 Speaker 1: concept of even having these terms I feel like has 220 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:14,679 Speaker 1: gone overboard totally. 221 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:18,160 Speaker 9: As the woman who started the word ye. 222 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:23,080 Speaker 12: Apologize a little too far. 223 00:10:23,679 --> 00:10:25,080 Speaker 8: It is pretty ridiculous. 224 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:25,800 Speaker 13: We need them. 225 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:28,760 Speaker 12: Everything like there is. 226 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:31,920 Speaker 11: Sometimes it makes sense, like there wasn't a name for 227 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,440 Speaker 11: a feeling that you might have. But sometimes it's like 228 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:37,800 Speaker 11: you could have just said obsession. You know, you could 229 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:39,600 Speaker 11: have just said this one word. We don't have to 230 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:41,600 Speaker 11: make some like weird thing. 231 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:42,679 Speaker 9: It's like an interesting thing. 232 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:44,480 Speaker 3: I think it's just a product of the Internet though, 233 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,760 Speaker 3: with like how quickly everything is moving, it's like people 234 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:49,760 Speaker 3: need new things, people need new words, people need new 235 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:51,960 Speaker 3: identities like trends or fat you know what I mean. 236 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,320 Speaker 3: It's just like speaking of let me bring up this 237 00:10:54,480 --> 00:11:02,160 Speaker 3: next word, great transition. Kim riizdry Kim riztory. Of course 238 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:07,320 Speaker 3: you're charismatic as hell. Yeah you got charisma together. Yeah, 239 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:10,000 Speaker 3: you're working the room together, you're making people laugh together, 240 00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:11,320 Speaker 3: you're going to the party. 241 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:13,400 Speaker 12: Magnetica tract. 242 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:16,280 Speaker 8: It's a combination of chemistry and RIZ. 243 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:20,319 Speaker 11: So you're catching that unexpected chemistry with someone that you 244 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,000 Speaker 11: didn't think that you'd be into. 245 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:25,680 Speaker 12: Oh okay, well again, you gotta let people. 246 00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:29,600 Speaker 11: It's not just like, oh, you have chemistry, it's unexpected chemistry. 247 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:32,720 Speaker 8: They've got the RIZ. I can't say that with this, 248 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:33,080 Speaker 8: can I. 249 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:33,760 Speaker 9: Say something else. 250 00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:37,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, Yes, in twenty twenty six, I think I would 251 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:41,640 Speaker 3: like to get away from my historic type. Okay, my 252 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:44,960 Speaker 3: friend Dalton said specifically, no more stinky white boys. 253 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:46,680 Speaker 9: So it's like they can be white, but they can't 254 00:11:46,679 --> 00:11:47,200 Speaker 9: be stinky. 255 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:51,680 Speaker 3: But also just try to get away from my type 256 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:53,320 Speaker 3: and try would you say your type. 257 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:54,520 Speaker 8: Is stinky white boys? 258 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:57,760 Speaker 3: Well, just that was the last one, and just laugh you. 259 00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,680 Speaker 3: I mean I also had that other one. Y'all have 260 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:03,840 Speaker 3: seen I pass. Yeah, So anyways, no more stinky boys. 261 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:06,560 Speaker 3: Maybe we can just leave it at back, get away 262 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,920 Speaker 3: from and get away from my type. I would like 263 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,960 Speaker 3: so to bring it back to kim Ris Dreem. I 264 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:15,000 Speaker 3: think there's an element of surprise to this dating trend. Yeah, 265 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:17,920 Speaker 3: consider someone you wouldn't maybe, yeah, or maybe just being 266 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:18,560 Speaker 3: open minded. 267 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:19,240 Speaker 9: Yeah, I like that. 268 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:21,920 Speaker 11: Yeah, I like I would say I've always been picky 269 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:24,400 Speaker 11: in my past, and I think that was a detriment 270 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:25,880 Speaker 11: to my dating life. 271 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:27,280 Speaker 8: Because they were all assholes. 272 00:12:27,559 --> 00:12:31,280 Speaker 11: They all fit the mold perfectly, and like, in hindsight, 273 00:12:31,559 --> 00:12:33,960 Speaker 11: I ended up wasting so many dates, so many months, 274 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:36,160 Speaker 11: so many years, chasing after the wrong one. 275 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:39,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, trying to put somebody like make a list for 276 00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:42,480 Speaker 3: somebody and dismissing if they didn't check the boxes, and 277 00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:43,400 Speaker 3: then you can't have fun. 278 00:12:43,559 --> 00:12:45,520 Speaker 9: No, and you want to be able to have fun. 279 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:54,160 Speaker 9: I guess my resolutions about dating is be a lot 280 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:57,200 Speaker 9: more intentional with who I'm dating and who I'm spending 281 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:57,760 Speaker 9: my time with. 282 00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:01,800 Speaker 8: I mean, I would love to serious, way intentionally. 283 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:05,520 Speaker 5: Date, raising the standard for who I'm willing to give 284 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:06,400 Speaker 5: multiple dates to. 285 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:08,280 Speaker 11: I want to lower my standards. 286 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:11,680 Speaker 2: I want to give everyone a chance, because then I 287 00:13:11,679 --> 00:13:14,640 Speaker 2: don't know. There comes a time where I feel like 288 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:17,880 Speaker 2: you never know who it's gonna match a freak. 289 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:26,160 Speaker 1: Okay, zip coding mm mmm, is this like judging someone 290 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:27,160 Speaker 1: based on where they live? 291 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:29,520 Speaker 9: Okay, I have a guess. 292 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,040 Speaker 3: I think maybe you put yourself in a new zip 293 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:33,679 Speaker 3: code to see if you can date outside of where 294 00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:35,320 Speaker 3: you live, if you're like on the apps. 295 00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:40,880 Speaker 11: Oh interesting, Okay, it's actually the opposite of that. People 296 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:44,720 Speaker 11: set a very tight radius on their dating app filter 297 00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:48,360 Speaker 11: so that they keep themselves from meeting anyone outside of 298 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:49,280 Speaker 11: their own zip code. 299 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:53,000 Speaker 1: Okay, but I think people are lazy and don't want 300 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:53,520 Speaker 1: to travel. 301 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:54,960 Speaker 3: Okay. 302 00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:56,719 Speaker 9: To me, it's given convenience. 303 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,920 Speaker 12: It's giving I was doing pretty water, the soil in 304 00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:02,280 Speaker 12: front of you. 305 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:07,320 Speaker 1: I mean, such a Yorker, I understand that an Upper 306 00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:09,880 Speaker 1: east Side to Brooklyn is a long distance relationship. 307 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:17,480 Speaker 8: Yeah, I will say I zip coated. 308 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:19,840 Speaker 9: Oh yeah, yeah yeah. 309 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,440 Speaker 11: And by chance, that is how I ended up meeting 310 00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:25,200 Speaker 11: my husband because I was very lazy and I did 311 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,000 Speaker 11: not want to travel to the Upper west Side. 312 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:32,800 Speaker 14: And you found and you found a nice I did 313 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:37,840 Speaker 14: find a very you to our homebody. We fit on 314 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:41,000 Speaker 14: the couch perfectly, and he was a fifteen minute walk 315 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,840 Speaker 14: in my face, and I was like, yes. 316 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:45,040 Speaker 12: That's a great zip code. 317 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:46,360 Speaker 8: There's pros and cons to it. 318 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:51,120 Speaker 3: To see somebody at a coffee shop today, who just anyways. 319 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:52,960 Speaker 8: Yeah, but what's the kind of person you are? 320 00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:55,400 Speaker 11: I'm trying to apply it to like other cities, but no, 321 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:57,600 Speaker 11: I think I'm just overall lazy. I think that if 322 00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:59,480 Speaker 11: I were in like a city and have to drive 323 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:01,720 Speaker 11: for five to an hour and a half away, I 324 00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:03,080 Speaker 11: got this long distance. 325 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:05,200 Speaker 12: No, yeah, it's going to happen. 326 00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:07,760 Speaker 8: Too lazy for that. I've better things to do. 327 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:10,280 Speaker 9: Okay, I like zip coding. I think it's a good idea. 328 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:14,240 Speaker 8: Hot take dating, Okay. 329 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:20,640 Speaker 3: You're doing subway takes with the person you're what's dick. 330 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:23,480 Speaker 1: Like the really strong personalities who are always arguing. 331 00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:26,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, say your most offensive thing on the first day. 332 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:29,440 Speaker 8: It's not being a political. 333 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:32,880 Speaker 9: Not being a political yeah, of course. 334 00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:35,280 Speaker 11: So not holding back the very beginning of like what 335 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:38,520 Speaker 11: your beliefs are and politics, religion and all of that. 336 00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:39,720 Speaker 11: Don't put a filter on. 337 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:40,960 Speaker 3: I know. 338 00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:42,680 Speaker 8: I would imagine that it probably. 339 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:45,600 Speaker 11: Breaks up or is the source of many arguments for 340 00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:47,640 Speaker 11: people if they hold it back in the beginning, and 341 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:49,200 Speaker 11: then you come to find out you don't have the 342 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,400 Speaker 11: same beliefs, which is. 343 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:54,640 Speaker 12: Important right now? Correct, I mean always important, but important? 344 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:58,800 Speaker 3: Maybe? No, Okay, there, I could play the devil's advocate 345 00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:01,440 Speaker 3: for a moment. Yes, just because I feel like there 346 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:04,320 Speaker 3: is sort of this like moral superiority happening with women 347 00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:06,680 Speaker 3: on the left who don't date men on the right. 348 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:10,200 Speaker 3: There's something about the separatism of that that just makes 349 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:14,200 Speaker 3: me go like, I don't know. I mean, I could 350 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:17,640 Speaker 3: never do it, Like imagine me dating a Republican or something. 351 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:19,840 Speaker 3: It's never gonna it's never gonna happen. 352 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:22,000 Speaker 1: Some people, some people can do it, though. 353 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:24,400 Speaker 11: It would be interesting if people could do it now 354 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:28,480 Speaker 11: though yeah, I can see like parents and earlier generations 355 00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:29,640 Speaker 11: doing it right. 356 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:31,960 Speaker 1: Now when everything was a little more in the middle, 357 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:38,760 Speaker 1: more boring and just calm bat but right, like you know, 358 00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:41,800 Speaker 1: we can we can align socially but not politically, but 359 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:44,760 Speaker 1: not politically, And I feel like that's that just doesn't 360 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:47,320 Speaker 1: feel as true now right, just like the social is 361 00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:48,080 Speaker 1: political right now? 362 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:48,440 Speaker 13: Right? 363 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,080 Speaker 8: Okay, friend fluence. 364 00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:55,160 Speaker 9: M letting your friends decide who you date or not. 365 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:57,760 Speaker 8: The real matchmakers are the group chat. 366 00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:01,800 Speaker 1: Oh I'm really into this, okay, because I want to 367 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,720 Speaker 1: be meeting people in person and I'm kind of begging 368 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:06,080 Speaker 1: to be set up right now, right, So I think 369 00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:08,240 Speaker 1: we've lost the art of the setup. I think our 370 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:10,840 Speaker 1: one Harry Metsally episode taught that to us, that we 371 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:11,600 Speaker 1: have lost. 372 00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:12,119 Speaker 12: All these arts. 373 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,520 Speaker 1: One of my resolutions of like get more connected to 374 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:17,720 Speaker 1: community is to like be meeting people more organically and 375 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:20,800 Speaker 1: like just why in your circle enough to like let 376 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:24,639 Speaker 1: opportunities come to you. Yeah, yeah, but then and then 377 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:26,959 Speaker 1: also like no one knows you better than your friends. 378 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:30,119 Speaker 8: I have also been seeing that double dates seems to 379 00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:33,080 Speaker 8: be a trend that's starting to happen more now in. 380 00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:37,800 Speaker 1: This Yeah, I mean a double date, first date, I mean, 381 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:41,720 Speaker 1: that's that's the one Harry Metsally scene, which is for both. 382 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:44,960 Speaker 8: Yeah, that would be well, that's also just like super. 383 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:47,000 Speaker 1: That is fun because it's just like I could see 384 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:52,120 Speaker 1: it being just like a low key Hanks, these two 385 00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:53,959 Speaker 1: people that could be good good for each other. 386 00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:55,200 Speaker 8: That'd be a fun experience. 387 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:57,040 Speaker 1: I tested that out, and then they can decide if 388 00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:57,840 Speaker 1: they want to meet again. 389 00:17:58,320 --> 00:17:59,400 Speaker 8: Yeah, I think that'd be fun. 390 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:00,760 Speaker 9: More double dates. 391 00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:04,440 Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, okay, Digital Love coaches. 392 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:08,640 Speaker 12: No, you know, is it a person or no? 393 00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:10,720 Speaker 8: You know it's Ai. 394 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:15,119 Speaker 11: No, I know, but it is on the rise and 395 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:16,560 Speaker 11: it's gonna be even more so. 396 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:20,040 Speaker 9: I saw the video of a woman in Japan getting married. 397 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:22,600 Speaker 3: To her AI character and she's like walking down an 398 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:25,360 Speaker 3: aisle and there was like a phone. It's just very 399 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:28,720 Speaker 3: her coded, you know what I mean, Phoenix coded. 400 00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:30,280 Speaker 8: See, that's a different level. 401 00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:31,600 Speaker 9: Can I say something else? 402 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,119 Speaker 3: It might be too far where I'm about to go 403 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:38,000 Speaker 3: with this, buckle up. AI is so good because it's 404 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:41,159 Speaker 3: just always giving you an answer. And as people like 405 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:43,800 Speaker 3: you know, historically we pray, even if you're religious or 406 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,040 Speaker 3: you're not. As a human, you have this feeling of 407 00:18:46,119 --> 00:18:49,919 Speaker 3: like wonder, you don't know you're allowed to not know, 408 00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:53,679 Speaker 3: You're allowed to not know about yourself, you're allowed to 409 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:54,640 Speaker 3: not know about. 410 00:18:54,359 --> 00:18:55,240 Speaker 9: What things mean. 411 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:58,359 Speaker 3: But AI is this thing that allows you to like 412 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:02,560 Speaker 3: obsess on like reasoning and knowing and answering like all 413 00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,800 Speaker 3: these questions that maybe you should just sort of like 414 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,560 Speaker 3: sit with, you know, so. 415 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,840 Speaker 12: We don't always need the answer. We don't always need it. 416 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:11,919 Speaker 12: You can live in the unknowing and we have to 417 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:12,920 Speaker 12: be comfortable. 418 00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:15,320 Speaker 9: With that and it might come up for you. Yeah, 419 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:15,639 Speaker 9: you know. 420 00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:18,160 Speaker 1: This is something that my dad also also says about 421 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:21,160 Speaker 1: technology of like now if you're like debating something between friends, 422 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:22,679 Speaker 1: or even if you're like, oh, I can't remember the 423 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,439 Speaker 1: name of that person, you can just look it up 424 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:27,120 Speaker 1: and then the conversation's over. We're like, it is kind 425 00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:29,399 Speaker 1: of a conversation ender to have all the answers like 426 00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:32,320 Speaker 1: your fingertips or like otherwise you could just like keep 427 00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:34,359 Speaker 1: talking about that, keep thinking it could be a funny 428 00:19:34,359 --> 00:19:35,679 Speaker 1: thing that back around. 429 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,359 Speaker 11: Right. Well, I mean I feel like these dating apps 430 00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:39,560 Speaker 11: are using AI. 431 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,879 Speaker 12: Which is which is part of the reason I'm trying to. 432 00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:46,159 Speaker 11: Get Yeah, yeah, yeah, so I feel like that's probably 433 00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:46,920 Speaker 11: what we're gonna. 434 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:50,080 Speaker 3: Because like there has been technology that has like changed 435 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:54,480 Speaker 3: the way humans have worked, and like, maybe it won't 436 00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:57,400 Speaker 3: all be bad, but I do think we should get 437 00:19:57,440 --> 00:20:04,119 Speaker 3: as anti AI as fucking possible, you know, just because Yeah, 438 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:07,159 Speaker 3: I think like it separates us and it sort of 439 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:08,880 Speaker 3: outsources a lot of. 440 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,359 Speaker 9: Our humanity in a way that I don't like. 441 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,760 Speaker 6: So I recently deleted the apps, all of them. So, 442 00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:22,480 Speaker 6: you know what, like I just want to meet someone organically, 443 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:25,280 Speaker 6: Like I want like a Hallmark movie, like bump into 444 00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:27,920 Speaker 6: me on the train at a coffee shop, like knock 445 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,520 Speaker 6: a book out of my hand and pick it up. 446 00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:32,159 Speaker 2: You know, I do have an interest in a specific 447 00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:36,439 Speaker 2: age group rather than just like grandomly just date people, 448 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:38,119 Speaker 2: So I want to focus on that. 449 00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:39,680 Speaker 11: Well yeah what age? 450 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:41,359 Speaker 1: Just my age were older than me? 451 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,480 Speaker 6: Yeah, I risked the host video of Abby Jacobson, who 452 00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:47,040 Speaker 6: was like, I turned thirty and then I started asking 453 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,080 Speaker 6: people out and I turned thirty. 454 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:50,920 Speaker 12: So I think I have to start asking people out. 455 00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:53,200 Speaker 12: That's a resolution. 456 00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:59,040 Speaker 11: So there's a bunch of uh dating trends that came 457 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:03,440 Speaker 11: up this past year that will likely continue on into 458 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:06,760 Speaker 11: this new year. And so I want to ask what 459 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:08,880 Speaker 11: you think about them, and if you think they should 460 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,000 Speaker 11: stay or go essentially, Okay, got it? 461 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:12,960 Speaker 8: Shreking? 462 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:18,040 Speaker 9: Oh what is that? It dates a stinky, scary looking boy. 463 00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:21,680 Speaker 11: I think the technical definition for shrekking is dating someone 464 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:24,199 Speaker 11: that you're not attracted to in the hopes that this 465 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,520 Speaker 11: person will treat you better in return. 466 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:27,600 Speaker 9: That's really funny. 467 00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:30,120 Speaker 3: The thing is, I am always attracted to these men 468 00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:33,080 Speaker 3: that look like freaks who I'm with, miss there's never 469 00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:34,040 Speaker 3: a missing attraction. 470 00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:37,560 Speaker 8: It describes dating someone whom the person considers. 471 00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:41,720 Speaker 11: Less attractive or below their league. I think that's what 472 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:42,720 Speaker 11: they won't stress. 473 00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:45,760 Speaker 1: Well, this is another one of the things I encountered 474 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:48,600 Speaker 1: this with apps. I think that I am more likely 475 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,520 Speaker 1: to swipe on a less attractive man because I assume 476 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:51,840 Speaker 1: that if. 477 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:53,320 Speaker 12: I'm a little bit out of their league that they 478 00:21:53,359 --> 00:21:57,200 Speaker 12: will match with me. That's something that I have admitted recently. 479 00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,840 Speaker 1: But that's my own self consciousness stopping me from going 480 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:03,480 Speaker 1: after the hot people, you know, Like I actually that 481 00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:04,280 Speaker 1: actually is on my. 482 00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:07,240 Speaker 8: List of things to work less attractive people. 483 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:09,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, because I think that it's a safer option. 484 00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:12,560 Speaker 11: And you actually didn't swipe on the people that you 485 00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:13,280 Speaker 11: were attractive. 486 00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:15,960 Speaker 1: I mean, of course I do, But like I think 487 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,000 Speaker 1: I'm a little scared of them because I'm like, they're 488 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:18,640 Speaker 1: out of my league. 489 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:19,480 Speaker 12: They're going to reject me. 490 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:20,520 Speaker 8: But because I. 491 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:22,320 Speaker 12: Could reject these people, right. 492 00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:25,399 Speaker 11: But you know, even those hot people, the minute they 493 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,440 Speaker 11: talk they oh, I know, dumb, I know, Oh. 494 00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:28,400 Speaker 12: I know, I know. 495 00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:31,040 Speaker 1: I think like the people that that I'm saying are 496 00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:33,480 Speaker 1: below my league are like less conventionally attractive. I don't 497 00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:37,199 Speaker 1: think that they're actually unattractive, but there is safety in 498 00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:40,480 Speaker 1: people that are like a little more on or just 499 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:41,440 Speaker 1: below your levels. 500 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:44,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, the whole league thing is so interesting 501 00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:45,600 Speaker 3: to me because like it's. 502 00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:47,200 Speaker 12: Like it makes me feel like a bad person. 503 00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:50,280 Speaker 8: Say it out loud, but I hope you have said 504 00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:51,600 Speaker 8: that you like dating the stress. 505 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:52,360 Speaker 12: Yeah like that. 506 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:55,680 Speaker 3: I mean, I don't trust hot men. I don't They're boring. 507 00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:57,000 Speaker 12: They're so boring. 508 00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:59,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, Like every time I've ever dated a conventionally hot guy, 509 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:02,919 Speaker 3: I'm like, oh my god, Like, yah, you literally are 510 00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:04,320 Speaker 3: good for nothing but kissing. 511 00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:04,879 Speaker 9: Like okay. 512 00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,800 Speaker 11: But to counter that, we look back at your entire 513 00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:11,800 Speaker 11: past year of dating and you're thinking guys that you're 514 00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:16,000 Speaker 11: trying to not see, you know, and they didn't provide 515 00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:16,520 Speaker 11: you with much. 516 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:20,879 Speaker 3: The thing is is like I don't totally think about 517 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:23,719 Speaker 3: like league so much. I mean, I have a friend 518 00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:26,400 Speaker 3: who told me one time it's really important to her 519 00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:31,080 Speaker 3: to date someone hot because of the like social clout 520 00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:32,000 Speaker 3: it kind of gives her. 521 00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:35,679 Speaker 9: And I think men are that way too. It's like men. 522 00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:41,800 Speaker 3: Date for their like social standing a lot, I think, 523 00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:48,000 Speaker 3: you know, and so whatever that is probably should just 524 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:51,600 Speaker 3: disappear because I don't know, it just it feels like 525 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:52,159 Speaker 3: you're sort. 526 00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:52,520 Speaker 9: Of missing out. 527 00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:56,240 Speaker 3: And I think men are always trying to like categorize 528 00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:58,720 Speaker 3: who they can get and what that says about themselves. 529 00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:01,160 Speaker 9: And it's like, wait, just literally experience someone. 530 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:03,840 Speaker 8: Let's see, beige flag. 531 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:07,119 Speaker 3: Excusing in a beige flag is like something that's not 532 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:10,200 Speaker 3: so bad, something that's like I. 533 00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:10,680 Speaker 8: Can work with that. 534 00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:13,520 Speaker 1: Maybe I think that's fine because you got to see 535 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:14,240 Speaker 1: what happens. 536 00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:16,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, but I am a little bit in this place 537 00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:19,240 Speaker 3: where I'm like, I need to be aligned with the 538 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,840 Speaker 3: person I'm dating. Like forty four year old did not 539 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,120 Speaker 3: like subtitles close captioning when we. 540 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:24,920 Speaker 9: Were watching a show together. 541 00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:29,320 Speaker 13: I don't like, oh, that's a shock for red flag 542 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:34,720 Speaker 13: get out, But do you know what they're saying when 543 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:37,800 Speaker 13: they're mumbling no, like okay, okay, but that's totally fine. 544 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:39,200 Speaker 9: You're my friend, not my lover. 545 00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:43,800 Speaker 7: You know what I'm saying, Like what you do with 546 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:44,360 Speaker 7: a lover. 547 00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:45,040 Speaker 9: Is you watch a show. 548 00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:47,440 Speaker 3: That's what's amazing about having one is like you can 549 00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:49,160 Speaker 3: like sit on the couch and watch TV all day. 550 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:49,920 Speaker 9: That's amazing. 551 00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:52,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not going to make you turn off the subtitles. 552 00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:54,960 Speaker 1: I just I feel like it takes away I'm not 553 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,080 Speaker 1: able to watch the full screen if they're subtitles. 554 00:24:57,119 --> 00:25:01,520 Speaker 9: That's what he said. I just I turned them off 555 00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:01,840 Speaker 9: for him. 556 00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:02,080 Speaker 3: Though. 557 00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:04,840 Speaker 8: Maybe that's why you like, what's going on? What are 558 00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:05,160 Speaker 8: they saying? 559 00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:06,880 Speaker 9: It's just like I miss them. 560 00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:08,760 Speaker 1: Sometimes you don't always have to know everything. 561 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:09,960 Speaker 12: Remember what we were just talking to. 562 00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:13,439 Speaker 3: Sometimes they say they use references like I don't know, 563 00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:16,119 Speaker 3: like a lot of references and girls where I've been. 564 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:17,720 Speaker 9: Like, hm, I was that a joke? 565 00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:24,000 Speaker 11: Speaking of girls? Great black cat boyfriend? 566 00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:28,919 Speaker 3: Black cat boyfriend, which is kind of like spooky, scary. 567 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:30,760 Speaker 12: I'm imagining like em and. 568 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:36,440 Speaker 11: It's an archetype that's the mysterious, moody, quiet but deeply loyal. 569 00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:38,280 Speaker 8: Oh I do like that partner. 570 00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:39,320 Speaker 12: That might be my type. 571 00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:42,200 Speaker 9: I kind of like female friends who have boyfriends like that. 572 00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:45,719 Speaker 11: It's in contrast to the Golden retriever, right, But but 573 00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:48,760 Speaker 11: it's not like a bad boy, right. It's like think 574 00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:54,080 Speaker 11: about Conrad like Summurai turned Pretty Jessie Girl and then 575 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:58,920 Speaker 11: Chuck Bass Gossip Girl Will from Too Much. 576 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:02,560 Speaker 9: He's such a great actor, but that was a terrible show. 577 00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:05,960 Speaker 8: Yeah, agreed, that's just your type. 578 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:09,639 Speaker 9: That's like your husband a little bit. Yes, Like he 579 00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:11,320 Speaker 9: sort of sits and does. 580 00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:14,360 Speaker 3: What you need him to do, and like he's very 581 00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:16,719 Speaker 3: helpful and very reliable. 582 00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:18,280 Speaker 9: And like, yeah, he's sort. 583 00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:21,200 Speaker 8: Of he's that moody the way that like Ray is 584 00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:22,560 Speaker 8: from Girls. 585 00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:26,400 Speaker 9: Is Ray black cat, Ray is more oriented cat. 586 00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:33,440 Speaker 8: Yeah, I think. 587 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,520 Speaker 1: Okay, So I feel like hearing all of these in 588 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,919 Speaker 1: succession and then the conversations we've had was just like 589 00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:44,199 Speaker 1: everything is just this is just dating, This is just 590 00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:45,440 Speaker 1: like this is just. 591 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:48,240 Speaker 12: We don't need to define it in this way. 592 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:50,440 Speaker 1: This is just the human experience. 593 00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:50,800 Speaker 8: Right. 594 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:52,040 Speaker 9: I agree with you, Emily. 595 00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:55,680 Speaker 3: I think like these words and these categories and these 596 00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:59,680 Speaker 3: rules and these trends are amazing, but I also think 597 00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:02,359 Speaker 3: that like fuck it, like you should sort of just 598 00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:04,800 Speaker 3: be like walking around every day and seeing what you 599 00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:05,640 Speaker 3: can get into. 600 00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:09,040 Speaker 1: Done with like the algorithm. I am done with people 601 00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:11,439 Speaker 1: telling us what we are and I'd rather just like 602 00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:13,960 Speaker 1: live and figure it out. Be talking about me too, 603 00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:16,919 Speaker 1: where it's like you just got to live and not 604 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:19,800 Speaker 1: be afraid of making the mistake of following the red 605 00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:20,639 Speaker 1: flag or something. 606 00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:22,280 Speaker 12: You just have to do it and figure shit out 607 00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:22,800 Speaker 12: for yourself. 608 00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:25,840 Speaker 3: I guess maybe like one rule that I do still 609 00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:27,520 Speaker 3: think is a good thing to do, but it's to 610 00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:31,359 Speaker 3: just like care so much less. I guess I was 611 00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:33,400 Speaker 3: about to say about what a guy thinks, but kind 612 00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:36,880 Speaker 3: of about what everybody thinks. Like if you're not like right, 613 00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:39,080 Speaker 3: if you're not hurting yourself, you're not hurting others, like 614 00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:42,200 Speaker 3: you're not in like an extremely toxic relationship. Like that's 615 00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:45,080 Speaker 3: a whole different story. But like you do not have 616 00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:47,520 Speaker 3: to do the trend that everyone is doing. You do 617 00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:49,720 Speaker 3: not have to date the guy everyone's dating. You do 618 00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,800 Speaker 3: not have to like like you get to just like 619 00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:56,040 Speaker 3: walk your walk. I mean, and y'all know, I'm like 620 00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:58,680 Speaker 3: a little bit anti rules in general. 621 00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:02,640 Speaker 9: And so yeah, y'all know about that. Like I almost went. 622 00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,800 Speaker 3: To make myself a new set of rules for this 623 00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:08,320 Speaker 3: year because I would like to maybe do what I've said, 624 00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:11,679 Speaker 3: but I stopped myself because I was like, I'm not 625 00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:14,320 Speaker 3: trying to make any decisions, you know what I mean. 626 00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:16,600 Speaker 3: I'm not trying to like close any I'm trying to 627 00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:20,840 Speaker 3: focus on what is good for me and follow connection 628 00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:26,040 Speaker 3: and maybe like spontaneity or whatever, and keep putting myself 629 00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:28,240 Speaker 3: in spaces where I like the people who are there. 630 00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:36,199 Speaker 3: That's a big plus. Liking the people you hang out 631 00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:40,760 Speaker 3: Twenty twenty six is going to be big for me. 632 00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:47,240 Speaker 3: Since we recorded this episode, I've been thinking more about 633 00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:52,480 Speaker 3: my own dating resolutions, and my resolution is to not date. 634 00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:56,120 Speaker 3: As my older sister Anna told me, I don't think 635 00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:59,000 Speaker 3: I'm allowed to be alone with a man this year. 636 00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:03,840 Speaker 3: That is a pretty high expectation, but I'm hoping I 637 00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:06,760 Speaker 3: can stick to it. We've got a lot of learning 638 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:10,800 Speaker 3: to keep doing in twenty twenty six, so I'm going 639 00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:14,760 Speaker 3: to try, and I'm feeling pretty determined to be boy 640 00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:19,040 Speaker 3: sob once again. I am today twenty six days strong, 641 00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:24,480 Speaker 3: and I think I will keep going throughout this entire 642 00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:29,400 Speaker 3: new year. Stay tuned and see how it goes. Thank 643 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:31,200 Speaker 3: you so much for listening, and we'll talk to you 644 00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:46,280 Speaker 3: all next week. Boys Over is a production of iHeart Podcasts. 645 00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:51,080 Speaker 3: I'm your host, Hopewordard. Our executive producers are Christina Everett 646 00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:56,080 Speaker 3: and Julie Pinero. Our supervising producer is Emily Meronoff. Our 647 00:29:56,120 --> 00:30:01,720 Speaker 3: assistant producer is Logan Palau. Engineering by Bahid Fraser and 648 00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:06,640 Speaker 3: mixing and mastering by Abu Zafar. If you liked this episode, 649 00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:09,720 Speaker 3: please tell a friend and don't forget to rate, review, 650 00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:14,120 Speaker 3: and subscribe to boy Sober on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, 651 00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:16,160 Speaker 3: and wherever you get your favorite shows