1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,520 Speaker 1: All right, guys, this time now for my Strawberry letter 2 00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:07,760 Speaker 1: and listen. If you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, 3 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:11,120 Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry letter to Steve Harvey 4 00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:15,120 Speaker 1: FM and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading 5 00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:17,279 Speaker 1: your letter live on the air, just like we're gonna 6 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:20,840 Speaker 1: read this one today, right here, right now, Junior, do 7 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:24,680 Speaker 1: the honors. Please in for the suspended sit back, buckle 8 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:27,720 Speaker 1: up and hold. We got it for you. Don't bear it. 9 00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:32,120 Speaker 1: Thank you, Junior. In for the suspended subject. Good things 10 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:37,080 Speaker 1: do not come in small packages. Dear Stephen Shirley, I 11 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:40,360 Speaker 1: am a mother of two beautiful kids and have been 12 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:43,960 Speaker 1: married for eight years. When I met my husband, life 13 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:47,279 Speaker 1: was great and out of nowhere. He swooped in and 14 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:50,800 Speaker 1: stole my heart. We dated for a good while before 15 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:54,400 Speaker 1: he proposed, and I withhel sex until I got the ring. 16 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:57,520 Speaker 1: It's like we knew we were soul mates when we met, 17 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:00,680 Speaker 1: so he did not mind waiting until we were engaged 18 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:03,720 Speaker 1: to have sex. He took on my two children as 19 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:06,520 Speaker 1: his own, and we had planned on having one more 20 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:12,000 Speaker 1: child together. That was before marriage. Now, eight years later, 21 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:18,480 Speaker 1: things are different. The problem is, well, he's not well endowed, 22 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:24,759 Speaker 1: and sex with him is awful. I knew this beforehand, 23 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:27,959 Speaker 1: but married him anyway because I loved him and hoped 24 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:31,080 Speaker 1: it would get better. I was so used to my 25 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:34,959 Speaker 1: ex husband's great sex and thought that I could get 26 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,240 Speaker 1: this guy to do some different things to please me. 27 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:41,000 Speaker 1: But nothing ever worked. I have not had one pleasurable 28 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:44,920 Speaker 1: encounter with this man since we started having sex, and 29 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:48,200 Speaker 1: now I'm getting bored and I'm in need of more. 30 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:51,120 Speaker 1: I don't want to leave the marriage because of the 31 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:54,480 Speaker 1: family life we have created for my children. My husband 32 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:58,040 Speaker 1: is a hard worker, a Christian man, and a great provider, 33 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:01,560 Speaker 1: but we have not had sex in a very long time. 34 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:06,000 Speaker 1: We don't hug and kiss anymore either. I'm aware that 35 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:09,240 Speaker 1: sex is a very important part of marriage, and usually 36 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:12,680 Speaker 1: men cheat when they aren't being satisfied at home. But 37 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:16,520 Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure my husband isn't cheating. I never faked 38 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:20,840 Speaker 1: it during or after sex, but I also never told 39 00:02:20,919 --> 00:02:24,560 Speaker 1: him how horrible it was. I'm sure it hurts him 40 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:27,120 Speaker 1: as a man to know that he can't please his wife. 41 00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:31,040 Speaker 1: I don't want to be a cheater, but I long 42 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:35,440 Speaker 1: for some intense, great sex regularly. What's a girl to do? 43 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:38,960 Speaker 1: Can you offer any advice on this situation. Well, first 44 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:40,280 Speaker 1: of all, I have to tell you that you have 45 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:44,680 Speaker 1: every right within your marriage to want intense, great sex. 46 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:47,120 Speaker 1: I mean, that's part of the reason a lot of 47 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:53,079 Speaker 1: people get married. But in your particular situation, it doesn't 48 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,839 Speaker 1: look like that's going to happen. Because you said you've 49 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:58,360 Speaker 1: talked to him, I mean I would suggest that you 50 00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:01,480 Speaker 1: have a serious conversation with your husband. I mean, after 51 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:04,320 Speaker 1: eight years of marriage, you owe him and you owe 52 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:09,280 Speaker 1: yourself that you do have a right to be satisfied sexually. 53 00:03:09,639 --> 00:03:13,600 Speaker 1: The thing is, you knew this before you married him, 54 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:18,640 Speaker 1: and you married him anyway because you thought, as you say, 55 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:23,840 Speaker 1: things would get better. We've talked about this. I can't 56 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,000 Speaker 1: tell you how many times we've talked about this on 57 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:30,160 Speaker 1: this show, about how women think that we can always 58 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,840 Speaker 1: change a man. We always think that you knew this 59 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:36,120 Speaker 1: going in. Well, we can't change them, I mean, and 60 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 1: how well you know it now? I mean the time 61 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:41,280 Speaker 1: for you to have dealt with this matter, and it's 62 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:43,360 Speaker 1: very serious. I don't mean to make light of it. 63 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 1: This is a very serious issue right here, but it 64 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:50,200 Speaker 1: was you should have dealt with this before before you 65 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:53,040 Speaker 1: got married and after you got the ring, because you 66 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:55,400 Speaker 1: said you held out sex at least until you got 67 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:58,560 Speaker 1: the ring. So I say, the next time you guys 68 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:02,640 Speaker 1: are getting intimate, you have to lay down the law. 69 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:05,520 Speaker 1: You have to teach him. You've got to show him 70 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:09,320 Speaker 1: and guide him into doing what you like. You all 71 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:12,200 Speaker 1: have to have a serious conversation about this, even though 72 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,000 Speaker 1: you said that you've done that in the past and 73 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:17,640 Speaker 1: it didn't work. So I mean, you got to try 74 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:20,080 Speaker 1: it again. You have to, I mean, because I can't 75 00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:23,120 Speaker 1: see the only alternative is to cheat or divorce him. 76 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,920 Speaker 1: You don't want to do either of those things, and 77 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:29,080 Speaker 1: you don't want him to do it either. Steve, Well, well, 78 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:33,200 Speaker 1: well we got a problem, Hill. Good things do not 79 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:37,440 Speaker 1: come in small packages. No, it don't. It really don't. 80 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:41,480 Speaker 1: Your problem is you've been married for eight years, you 81 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:44,640 Speaker 1: got two beautiful kids, your husband that you're mad he 82 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:48,400 Speaker 1: swooped and stole your heart. Dated for a good little 83 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:51,680 Speaker 1: while before he proposed. You didn't wait it or you 84 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:56,039 Speaker 1: had with hell sex till you got to read. You know, 85 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,880 Speaker 1: because you knew you were soul mates. He mind waiting 86 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:04,040 Speaker 1: until he's engaged to have sex. He didn't mind waiting 87 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:09,400 Speaker 1: until we were engaged to have sex. Hell, because he knew. 88 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:16,360 Speaker 1: He knew that when y'all did have it, he wasn't 89 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:21,719 Speaker 1: gonna be worse for them one more time. He knew 90 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:28,799 Speaker 1: the reason he didn't mind what to have sex it's called. 91 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:33,160 Speaker 1: He knew it wasn't gonna be worth for damn when 92 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:37,719 Speaker 1: you did. You ain't the first person he didn't disappoint it. 93 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:45,159 Speaker 1: Oh No, that's why everything else is in order. He 94 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:51,799 Speaker 1: ain't welling, died, and sex with him is awful, not bad. 95 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:58,200 Speaker 1: A w I you l if you break them two 96 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:08,559 Speaker 1: words down, A love you jed ah ah. I can't 97 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:13,400 Speaker 1: do the other. Yeah, but a few is the first 98 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:16,960 Speaker 1: two emissions in that all as funny as hell. But 99 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:22,039 Speaker 1: I can't say now. I knew this before him. I 100 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,760 Speaker 1: knew this beforehand, But I married him anyway because I 101 00:06:24,839 --> 00:06:28,360 Speaker 1: loved him and I hoped it will get better? How 102 00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:38,400 Speaker 1: does real bad sex ever get better? How? I'll be 103 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:42,919 Speaker 1: back all right, Steve. We're gonna have part two of 104 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,680 Speaker 1: your response coming up at twenty three after the hour, 105 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:49,159 Speaker 1: right after this today's Strawberry letter. Good things do not 106 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:56,800 Speaker 1: come in small packages. You're listening, all right, Steve, Here 107 00:06:56,800 --> 00:07:00,520 Speaker 1: we go let's recap today's strawberry letter, good things, you're 108 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:04,560 Speaker 1: not coming small packs ain't much of a recap. He 109 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:10,200 Speaker 1: ain't packing. She heard about its awful, so she didn't 110 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:13,480 Speaker 1: have sex until she got the ring. He didn't mind 111 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:17,200 Speaker 1: waiting until we was engaged, any man, don't mind waiting. Know, 112 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:21,400 Speaker 1: it ain't worth a damn what. I might as well 113 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:24,120 Speaker 1: just ride this out. You don't want to have sex, okay, cool, 114 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:27,120 Speaker 1: they just keep talking to you. Let me take care 115 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 1: of your kids, let me buy them something, Let me 116 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:31,800 Speaker 1: care you shoppy so I could get you to fall 117 00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:35,040 Speaker 1: in little with me, because after we do it, it's sober. 118 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:40,240 Speaker 1: But he's a good man, though, Steve, don't aboudy give 119 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:44,160 Speaker 1: a damn about that. Yeah, it's nice and he's a 120 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:47,800 Speaker 1: good man. It's real great. But she wants her she 121 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:50,320 Speaker 1: wants she wants her head to be on her eyes 122 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:53,200 Speaker 1: and the back of her head. Yeah, she needs some 123 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:56,920 Speaker 1: things going on. Well, the problem is he ain't willing 124 00:07:57,040 --> 00:08:00,920 Speaker 1: dial sex is awful. I knew it before I married him, anyway, 125 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:03,880 Speaker 1: because I loved him, I hoped it will get better. 126 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:07,840 Speaker 1: I was so used to my ex hood and great sex. 127 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,960 Speaker 1: Now he didn't lad he didn't left her lasted and 128 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:17,280 Speaker 1: pressure great sex from your ex husband. I thought I 129 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,440 Speaker 1: could get this guy to do some different things to 130 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:25,640 Speaker 1: please me. Oh he won't to, but he just ain't 131 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:33,520 Speaker 1: got what it take. Now here's what I suggest. You 132 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,440 Speaker 1: gotta get some equipment in that bad room and he 133 00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:41,640 Speaker 1: got to be comfortably using. We got to get some equipment. 134 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:44,840 Speaker 1: And based on the way this letter going in, I'm 135 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,680 Speaker 1: gonna give you a suggestion or some equipment you can use. 136 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:51,080 Speaker 1: And this ain't stuff you buy down at the dult 137 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:57,840 Speaker 1: book store. You need a bud salt. You need to 138 00:08:57,840 --> 00:09:02,680 Speaker 1: come inside with someone with a lot of noise. You 139 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:06,360 Speaker 1: need that type of thing going will. You need to 140 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:08,360 Speaker 1: see if you can go down home deeper and rinch 141 00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:14,240 Speaker 1: yourself a Jack Himmel. You need to find out how 142 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:23,160 Speaker 1: much your hedgehog costs or what hedgehog? Yeah, and you 143 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:28,439 Speaker 1: definitely needs to buy or weed either or anything with 144 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:32,880 Speaker 1: either on it. But you got to do something. You've 145 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:37,079 Speaker 1: got to do something. I don't want to lead a 146 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:41,000 Speaker 1: match cause him. We've cause of the family life you 147 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:44,800 Speaker 1: created from my children. He's a hard worker, he's a 148 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:48,480 Speaker 1: Christian man and great provider, great provider or what because 149 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:50,520 Speaker 1: the one thing you want. He damn sure ain't got that. 150 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:55,320 Speaker 1: But he's a great pride we have had. We ain't 151 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:58,320 Speaker 1: had sex in a long time. We don't hug all 152 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:02,360 Speaker 1: kids because he don't want them to get stall. So 153 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:04,320 Speaker 1: you get to hug any kiss, and you probably gonna 154 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,160 Speaker 1: want some more. So he ain't trying to even touch 155 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:09,079 Speaker 1: you because he's sicker to look on your face when 156 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:12,840 Speaker 1: he looked down at you and you just got that 157 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,600 Speaker 1: that that you know how you cock your smile to 158 00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:20,480 Speaker 1: one side. She got that look on this face. This 159 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:24,000 Speaker 1: ain't gonna work. We don't hug and kiss now. I'm 160 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,280 Speaker 1: aware that sex is very important part of a marriage, 161 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:29,679 Speaker 1: and usually men don't and usually me and cheat when 162 00:10:29,679 --> 00:10:32,320 Speaker 1: they ain't getting satisfied at home. But I don't think 163 00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:36,160 Speaker 1: my husband is cheap. I ain't never faked it doing 164 00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:41,440 Speaker 1: or after sex where you probably should have. You got 165 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:43,520 Speaker 1: that at least try to make him think he didn't 166 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:46,960 Speaker 1: done so hobba can one holler, just one damn hollow. 167 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:52,400 Speaker 1: But I've also never told him how horrible it is. Lady, 168 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:56,040 Speaker 1: Please don't do that to him. Don't do that to him. 169 00:10:56,160 --> 00:11:01,360 Speaker 1: Don't tell this man how horrible he out crushing without 170 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:04,520 Speaker 1: yeast crushing. But you gotta have the stuff in place 171 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:06,880 Speaker 1: to tell him what he needed to bring in that 172 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:13,000 Speaker 1: because he needed some type of toolbox. He's not gonna 173 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:16,760 Speaker 1: figure it out. This man needs some type of toolbox, 174 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:21,520 Speaker 1: something with some batteries in it, something make noise, and 175 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:27,520 Speaker 1: something that you like. That's the only thing that's gonna 176 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,800 Speaker 1: save this. I really feel bad for you, ma'am, because 177 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:34,520 Speaker 1: I don't want to be a Cheatah, but I longed 178 00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:38,640 Speaker 1: for some intense great sex regularly, and he don't have it. 179 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:44,720 Speaker 1: He ain't even gonna get you the intense part. You're 180 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:48,559 Speaker 1: getting nothing. That's no intensity. He ain't gonna come in 181 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:51,720 Speaker 1: that growl. And he ain't gonna army crawled up to bed. 182 00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:55,160 Speaker 1: He ain't gonna do none of that. He ain't gonna 183 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,559 Speaker 1: bust out the bad room like he tars in. He's 184 00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:03,320 Speaker 1: not doing any of that. Didn't just be sitting up 185 00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:06,560 Speaker 1: in here now. I don't want to be a cheatah, 186 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:10,200 Speaker 1: but I longed for some intense grade sex regularly. Well, 187 00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:14,880 Speaker 1: you gonna to start cheating because I ain't telling that 188 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:16,520 Speaker 1: she gonna do it. I'm telling you what she's gonna 189 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:19,000 Speaker 1: end up though. I'm not suggested she do it. I 190 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:22,320 Speaker 1: just predict this is what it's going because homeboy'nt changed. 191 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:29,439 Speaker 1: Now there's only equipment will help her. Yeah, I mean 192 00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:33,120 Speaker 1: he ain't got no now. She just said, little batty, 193 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:40,440 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. What you want me to do? Yeah, I 194 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:42,400 Speaker 1: don't want it to get a man. But you know 195 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:43,760 Speaker 1: he got to come in there. He got to learn 196 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:48,360 Speaker 1: how you use all these toys. Sorry, listen, he gots 197 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:51,480 Speaker 1: to come in. He need help, all right, listen, guys 198 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:54,520 Speaker 1: email us her Instagram. That's your thoughts on Today's Strawberry 199 00:12:54,559 --> 00:12:57,400 Speaker 1: Letter at Steve Harvey FM, or check out the Strawberry 200 00:12:57,440 --> 00:13:02,360 Speaker 1: Letter podcast on demand. You're saying Stave Harvey Morning Show