WEBVTT - Ep81: Morning Wood and a Freaky Nasty Night 0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:03.760 Hey, are you horrible motherfucker you? This is Wheezy and 0:00:03.800 --> 0:00:05.960 I wanted to make a great announcement. I have a 0:00:06.040 --> 0:00:09.479 live show with Jesse Woub coming Zozo Talk. Lie. We're 0:00:09.480 --> 0:00:13.039 gonna be in New York on October and in Atlanta 0:00:13.400 --> 0:00:16.279 on December eighth, Miami to be announced. It's gonna be 0:00:16.360 --> 0:00:18.680 so much fucking fun. And we've got Mouse hosting our 0:00:18.680 --> 0:00:22.160 New York show, Tahoe hosting our Atlanta show. It's gonna 0:00:22.200 --> 0:00:25.440 be a night full of questions, answers, laughs, and we 0:00:25.520 --> 0:00:30.000 actually have Zozo Talk contestants live, so ladies, you will 0:00:30.040 --> 0:00:32.639 get to choose from a lineup of men and hopefully 0:00:32.880 --> 0:00:34.760 you can say one of them home for a dick appointment. 0:00:35.159 --> 0:00:39.040 Check out my bio on Instagram Wheezy WTF and the 0:00:39.040 --> 0:00:41.279 tickets are there v I P. Tickets include a meet 0:00:41.280 --> 0:00:44.840 and great general admission we have available. Everybody has a seat. 0:00:44.880 --> 0:00:49.000 It's going to be such a good fucking time. See 0:00:49.040 --> 0:00:54.560 you soon. Oh yea ya ya ya ya ya ya 0:00:54.640 --> 0:00:57.120 ya ya ya yah. What's up y'all? This is another 0:00:57.120 --> 0:00:59.840 episode I don't know. I feel like I don't know 0:01:00.160 --> 0:01:04.000 to be trying to be like I don't like for like, 0:01:04.080 --> 0:01:06.080 I really need that clip to be the text. Yo, 0:01:06.160 --> 0:01:08.480 shut the funk up. I really be trying to like 0:01:09.040 --> 0:01:11.720 do some sound effects. How fuck you? You know what's funny? 0:01:11.840 --> 0:01:13.760 Listening to Joe Buden's podcast makes me feel like it 0:01:13.800 --> 0:01:15.920 does it so cool and maybe I just don't know 0:01:15.920 --> 0:01:23.520 how to sound cool like Joe bird. Well, Hi guys, 0:01:23.600 --> 0:01:26.880 welcome to get another episode of Horrible Decisions. This is 0:01:26.920 --> 0:01:34.360 your girl Mandy V. Yeah, Ash, I'm wheazy, UM and 0:01:34.400 --> 0:01:36.320 I was about to steal another podcast. I was about 0:01:36.360 --> 0:01:40.000 to make some say um, and we are here um 0:01:40.080 --> 0:01:42.720 yet again. I know that you guys did not think 0:01:42.760 --> 0:01:44.640 we would make it, but this is another episode and 0:01:44.640 --> 0:01:47.040 it's just me weekly in the studio. You guys liked 0:01:47.040 --> 0:01:50.280 how we go back in the day, um, and we 0:01:50.320 --> 0:01:52.640 was using um guests to cover up our hate towards 0:01:52.680 --> 0:01:55.360 each other for quite some time. UM, we didn't want 0:01:55.360 --> 0:01:57.640 to talk to each other. So what's the guests? The 0:01:57.640 --> 0:02:00.080 guests that you could think of that we need it 0:02:00.160 --> 0:02:02.600 to have. Um. You literally we got in a fight 0:02:02.680 --> 0:02:05.560 the days the Stripper episode came out, and that was 0:02:05.600 --> 0:02:07.000 supposed to be a solo episode. She was like, no, 0:02:07.080 --> 0:02:09.960 don't worry, I gotta guess it's a stripper. Don't worry. 0:02:10.040 --> 0:02:11.359 I got us a guest because I don't want to 0:02:11.360 --> 0:02:15.680 talk to you. Bitch. You remember that whole She was like, 0:02:15.680 --> 0:02:17.640 don't worry about it. We're not doing a solo episode, 0:02:17.639 --> 0:02:24.440 but I have a guest for us. Oh and you 0:02:24.560 --> 0:02:26.960 texted something and I said, bitch talking about me? How 0:02:27.000 --> 0:02:28.520 you like? No? I text you on an accident. I 0:02:28.560 --> 0:02:30.880 was so mad. She was ready to come for me, 0:02:30.919 --> 0:02:34.560 and I'm like, damn, damn. So I want you all 0:02:34.600 --> 0:02:38.200 to know the therapist episode said we have to come. That. 0:02:38.240 --> 0:02:40.680 I liked a lot because even when niggas I don't 0:02:40.720 --> 0:02:42.639 know what they're saying when they text what you mean 0:02:42.720 --> 0:02:44.640 and me and you or something will say sure. Some 0:02:44.639 --> 0:02:46.880 people think sure. It's very like that was a good idea. 0:02:47.440 --> 0:02:48.560 Oh well, I don't want you to know when I 0:02:48.600 --> 0:02:50.440 say I don't. I don't really just tell you all. 0:02:50.560 --> 0:02:52.360 I don't know. I want to stop this for a second. Yeah, 0:02:52.400 --> 0:02:54.800 we're in a loud speaker studio where all the podcast 0:02:54.880 --> 0:02:57.720 records as part of a larger studio space. And I 0:02:57.720 --> 0:02:59.120 don't know if you can hear the base, but I 0:02:59.120 --> 0:03:02.200 could smell weed. I would only be okay if it's 0:03:02.240 --> 0:03:04.280 like ty Dolla's line next door. Anyone else who change 0:03:04.320 --> 0:03:05.639 this here? One day we were recording, I know it, 0:03:05.720 --> 0:03:08.560 so it's nas like it's I. Why don't I run 0:03:08.600 --> 0:03:12.720 into them? Like ever been here? Yeah, he's been here. 0:03:12.880 --> 0:03:14.400 He has been here. Not well, I've been here. This 0:03:14.440 --> 0:03:17.680 is the studio he records out of. But he definitely, um, 0:03:17.720 --> 0:03:21.160 he'd definitely be in the studio. Smells like weed. Bro, 0:03:21.360 --> 0:03:23.760 I love weed. I don't know why you're like you're disgusted. Sorry, 0:03:23.840 --> 0:03:27.440 doesn't tell because it's you said. I recently had a 0:03:27.440 --> 0:03:29.720 CBD gut me for like af passed out and fell 0:03:29.760 --> 0:03:31.840 asleep in the house, did you I would never take 0:03:31.840 --> 0:03:34.280 an edible like it was CBD, so I thought it 0:03:34.320 --> 0:03:36.080 was different because I thought it was like not that 0:03:36.120 --> 0:03:39.160 big a deal. But I worked Midtown and I've been 0:03:39.560 --> 0:03:42.680 finding CBD coffee shops and stuff, and there's a there's 0:03:42.680 --> 0:03:45.680 a new restaurant I can't remember. But they actually are 0:03:45.720 --> 0:03:49.640 infusing CBD oils into their cocktails. That sounds so I'm 0:03:49.640 --> 0:03:51.440 gonna want to try that. But you don't want to 0:03:51.480 --> 0:03:55.000 drink in real life? I do, but you don't. We 0:03:55.120 --> 0:03:57.000 when we used to hang out, when we tried this. 0:03:57.080 --> 0:04:00.440 I drink. You don't even you have one drink and 0:04:00.480 --> 0:04:02.200 it's a bottle on my party. W whee, y'all, y'all 0:04:02.240 --> 0:04:03.440 say what you want us to go out? We have 0:04:03.520 --> 0:04:05.680 to find like an ice cream parlor to go to 0:04:05.880 --> 0:04:08.280 or something, because Weezy will have me go out. And 0:04:08.280 --> 0:04:10.080 of course you want to go to fucking meat packing, 0:04:10.360 --> 0:04:12.440 So bitch take me to places where the drinks twenty 0:04:12.480 --> 0:04:13.800 dollars and she want to be in there for a 0:04:13.840 --> 0:04:16.160 two minutes. I decided, I haven't talked about it, but 0:04:16.200 --> 0:04:17.840 I decided our first time we went out is going 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:20.599 to be at a party, like a black a party. 0:04:20.680 --> 0:04:23.000 No I would have liked to. I'm gonna need you 0:04:23.040 --> 0:04:28.320 to come up with another concert to other than a concert. 0:04:28.360 --> 0:04:29.920 I don't know where else we're gonna go where we're 0:04:29.960 --> 0:04:33.520 both gonna be like okayy uh, we're gonna go to 0:04:33.560 --> 0:04:37.440 like okay, we could do keeping. This is what we 0:04:37.440 --> 0:04:40.400 could do them Bay in Brooklyn? What is it half 0:04:40.400 --> 0:04:42.640 for me? Half? What is that? It's niggas but like 0:04:42.680 --> 0:04:49.640 afrobeats and hippie ships? Is it outside? Go ahead, man, 0:04:50.400 --> 0:04:56.080 do the goddamn whatever you want. So just be a pussy. 0:04:56.120 --> 0:05:01.520 I have one. Okay oneue check le that ship, I'll 0:05:01.560 --> 0:05:04.840 be hot. Um. Well, I guess we're gonna go ahead 0:05:04.880 --> 0:05:07.560 and start this week off. Normally we do catchups on 0:05:07.600 --> 0:05:11.960 our pussies, um, but because we are corporate women, I 0:05:12.000 --> 0:05:13.760 want to go ahead and catch up kind of on 0:05:13.800 --> 0:05:17.000 what's been going on with you know, us and our jobs. 0:05:17.000 --> 0:05:20.200 We don't talk about our jobs much because um, y'allho 0:05:20.240 --> 0:05:22.200 don't need to know ship. I will say the new 0:05:22.279 --> 0:05:26.360 job that I have been at for all of maybe 0:05:26.400 --> 0:05:29.400 two months now, I have been spotted about six times. 0:05:29.640 --> 0:05:33.520 So in the in the building. Do you mean it? Bro? 0:05:33.680 --> 0:05:36.000 Not for that? So we're gonna ahead and catch YEP, 0:05:36.400 --> 0:05:38.880 it's just if you. Um. I guess in my head, 0:05:38.920 --> 0:05:42.120 I just assume, oh no, not over there, bro. Um. 0:05:42.160 --> 0:05:44.880 But I was spotted in the cafeteria by two people 0:05:45.360 --> 0:05:47.840 and then other people hit me and my Instagram was 0:05:47.880 --> 0:05:53.200 like hey girl, Hey work buddy, and I was like fuck. Um. 0:05:53.240 --> 0:05:56.040 I will say, um, I have been completely stressed with 0:05:56.040 --> 0:05:59.200 my new job, especially with the hours that I work. Um, 0:05:59.240 --> 0:06:02.680 but more so because I most recently had to have 0:06:03.080 --> 0:06:06.680 the black talk with one of my black seniors and 0:06:06.880 --> 0:06:10.600 I was literally in tears. This was last Friday. Um, God, 0:06:10.640 --> 0:06:12.960 I think I had the Black talk with a black 0:06:12.960 --> 0:06:16.960 senior where he pretty much let me know like, hey girl, UM, 0:06:16.960 --> 0:06:19.760 just gonna let you know, UM, because I'm hearing things 0:06:19.760 --> 0:06:23.760 that we don't make sure you stay here. Um, as 0:06:24.120 --> 0:06:29.000 a black person, you need to overextend yourself over communicate. 0:06:29.600 --> 0:06:32.240 They're going to look at you and what you do 0:06:32.320 --> 0:06:34.080 and what a white person does are not going to 0:06:34.160 --> 0:06:37.680 be judged the same. Someone can perform, let's perform less 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:40.839 than you, but because they're not black, it's not going 0:06:40.880 --> 0:06:44.520 to be seen that way. UM. Having this conversation just 0:06:44.640 --> 0:06:47.840 like drilled down into my head like was it a 0:06:47.880 --> 0:06:50.600 man or woman? This was a man and he he 0:06:50.640 --> 0:06:53.360 did say, he was like no, not at all. Like 0:06:53.520 --> 0:06:56.000 I actually thanked him. I told him like I'm gonna 0:06:56.000 --> 0:06:58.040 take you for drinks, like thank you, like there's been 0:06:58.040 --> 0:07:00.320 a complete one a d even in the response. But 0:07:00.520 --> 0:07:03.080 I now feel like I'm fucking brown nosing and kissing 0:07:03.120 --> 0:07:07.080 as what you doing girl? Nothing. I wasn't logging back 0:07:07.120 --> 0:07:09.520 onto my computer at midnight to see if anyone needed help. 0:07:09.840 --> 0:07:12.200 That's what I wasn't doing. Apparently I wasn't staying in 0:07:12.200 --> 0:07:14.680 the office long enough because apparently thirteen hour shifts are 0:07:14.720 --> 0:07:18.400 not long enough. Um Nah, I'm me And but he 0:07:18.440 --> 0:07:21.400 did say, like the good thing about me was that 0:07:21.480 --> 0:07:23.640 I have my personality. So he's like, when you walk 0:07:23.680 --> 0:07:26.560 into the office, say hey girl, good morning, like everyone 0:07:26.560 --> 0:07:28.400 knows I'm always happy. So he's like, you have that 0:07:28.440 --> 0:07:30.880 working for you. He literally said to me, you don't 0:07:30.880 --> 0:07:33.400 have the black girl attitude, so you don't have to 0:07:33.440 --> 0:07:36.680 worry about them pushing away from you. But for me 0:07:36.760 --> 0:07:39.920 to see here and have this black talk in this 0:07:40.000 --> 0:07:43.280 corporate setting, I was literally like, is this really what 0:07:43.320 --> 0:07:44.520 I want? I had to deal with this when I 0:07:44.520 --> 0:07:47.200 was a bartender, So there were certain bars like I 0:07:47.200 --> 0:07:51.480 worked at the Montreal Hotel, and well I worked at 0:07:51.520 --> 0:07:54.920 the Montre Hotel and um all the management got changed 0:07:54.920 --> 0:07:57.400 out and these French niggas came in and I literally 0:07:57.480 --> 0:07:59.880 let go, let go because they wanted to change it 0:08:00.040 --> 0:08:03.040 to more European bar. And they literally told me I 0:08:03.040 --> 0:08:05.640 didn't fit the image that they were looking for behind 0:08:05.640 --> 0:08:09.880 the bar. This wasn't soho and so like even having 0:08:09.880 --> 0:08:13.160 to bitch this was here in New York. So like 0:08:13.440 --> 0:08:16.960 having to experience that in in the club setting, you 0:08:17.040 --> 0:08:19.480 having to look a certain way, you know, me knowing 0:08:19.520 --> 0:08:22.320 I could only go work it strip clubs or die bars, 0:08:22.640 --> 0:08:25.360 bars that weren't black, like like they had to be 0:08:25.680 --> 0:08:28.120 catered to black people because the white bars ain't hiring 0:08:28.200 --> 0:08:30.400 a girl with a big booty behind the bar, etcetera, etcetera. 0:08:30.760 --> 0:08:32.600 Like for me to be in a corporate setting where 0:08:32.679 --> 0:08:35.720 I actually feel accomplished to be here because it's like 0:08:35.800 --> 0:08:38.360 really hard to get the job that I have to 0:08:38.520 --> 0:08:42.360 have this talk, it's just like this, this is what 0:08:42.400 --> 0:08:44.720 I signed up for. It's kind of said like and 0:08:44.920 --> 0:08:48.080 I was literally just like I hate that I have 0:08:48.320 --> 0:08:51.720 to kind of brown nose my way because I'm a minority. 0:08:51.760 --> 0:08:53.800 Are you watching inse here right now? No, I'm not. 0:08:53.840 --> 0:08:56.200 I need to though. There's a scene where Molly is 0:08:56.240 --> 0:08:58.760 like just to start working in a black all black 0:08:58.800 --> 0:09:01.440 firms and now they looking on her like she oh, 0:09:01.440 --> 0:09:04.920 because you was doing this at the last place. I'm like, well, 0:09:04.920 --> 0:09:06.800 and I guess you you deal with it, I mean 0:09:06.960 --> 0:09:11.000 either way, but for me having to have the black 0:09:11.000 --> 0:09:13.640 senior come and talk to me like yes, girl, like 0:09:13.679 --> 0:09:15.120 we're gonna go ahead and make sure you're good, but 0:09:15.240 --> 0:09:19.400 you need to like over compensate and overly do your 0:09:19.440 --> 0:09:21.679 job for this first year. So it was just it 0:09:21.720 --> 0:09:24.440 was just exhausting because I feel like I have busted 0:09:24.440 --> 0:09:27.719 my ass um and I have gotten great grades. I've 0:09:27.760 --> 0:09:30.080 gotten into the firm, I've gotten into, you know, good things, 0:09:30.080 --> 0:09:32.199 and so to know that even though I've done all 0:09:32.200 --> 0:09:35.440 of these things, because I'm a black woman, I'm still 0:09:35.480 --> 0:09:37.520 not going to be looked at as on the same 0:09:37.600 --> 0:09:40.199 level as everyone who got hired with me because I'm 0:09:40.200 --> 0:09:42.920 a black woman. It was just kind of like it 0:09:42.960 --> 0:09:45.840 was frustrating mentally, Like I did cry, Like I was crying. 0:09:45.920 --> 0:09:48.560 It's so crazy that this happened to you, because this 0:09:48.640 --> 0:09:52.000 happened to me Wednesday at work, the black talk and 0:09:52.040 --> 0:09:55.360 the cry. So some of you on Instagram asked why 0:09:55.400 --> 0:09:56.880 I took my hair out, and I can't right, I 0:09:56.920 --> 0:09:58.199 was waiting to see you with in braids because I 0:09:58.240 --> 0:09:59.719 was gonna get on your head. I can't really talk 0:10:00.240 --> 0:10:02.440 much about it, but it was I felt really cute 0:10:02.520 --> 0:10:06.240 name so I get to work. It was for apropunk. Yeah, 0:10:06.240 --> 0:10:07.640 they were for a pun and I wasn't leaving. It 0:10:07.720 --> 0:10:09.440 was an Afro punk and like leave them in for 0:10:09.520 --> 0:10:12.760 like I don't know whatever. So I got these twists 0:10:12.800 --> 0:10:14.319 and I was so excited about it. I was feeling 0:10:14.360 --> 0:10:16.719 so so pretty, Like my work husband kept telling me 0:10:16.760 --> 0:10:18.000 how great I looked. She's like, this is the most 0:10:18.000 --> 0:10:20.640 pretty I've every been. I was feeling really good, and 0:10:20.679 --> 0:10:22.199 there was people that talked to me every day that 0:10:22.240 --> 0:10:26.880 didn't speak to me. One woman asked wow. One woman 0:10:26.960 --> 0:10:32.199 came up to me and asked me. She said, oh, 0:10:32.920 --> 0:10:38.800 so you're half and half? Then wait, excuse me, because 0:10:38.840 --> 0:10:42.400 my last name is so Jewish. I guess it didn't 0:10:42.480 --> 0:10:45.719 hit her that I was, Oh, yeah, because you could 0:10:45.720 --> 0:10:49.120 definitely pass unless like my hair is up in a bun. 0:10:49.160 --> 0:10:53.319 They'd be like, she's but otherwise no, and so um, 0:10:53.360 --> 0:10:55.080 in my in my cube, you know, you see all 0:10:55.080 --> 0:10:57.160 these pictures of my mom and family, and like there's 0:10:57.280 --> 0:10:59.199 mad black people in my cube. But I guess she 0:10:59.240 --> 0:11:01.319 wasn't looking. She just really sit by me. Everyone for 0:11:01.400 --> 0:11:04.280 the most part pretty much knows because i'd bet. But 0:11:04.640 --> 0:11:06.200 she said, so you're half in half And I couldn't 0:11:06.200 --> 0:11:08.120 even handle it. She was she worked on a different 0:11:08.120 --> 0:11:11.720 floor than me. Actually, um, people were just giving me 0:11:11.760 --> 0:11:14.560 really weird looks. I felt really uncomfortable, Like it was 0:11:14.679 --> 0:11:17.520 so uncomfortable. So this black woman in the office that 0:11:17.559 --> 0:11:19.719 I never talked to. I could see my face and 0:11:19.720 --> 0:11:21.000 I don't know if my eyes were watering up, and 0:11:21.000 --> 0:11:23.440 I'm saying I'm so so uncomfortable to my work husband. 0:11:23.440 --> 0:11:24.800 He was like, bro, this is in your head. You 0:11:24.840 --> 0:11:26.079 need to calm down. This in your head. And I'm like, 0:11:26.120 --> 0:11:28.120 it's not in my Guys, don't realize. It's not in 0:11:28.120 --> 0:11:29.679 our heads. Not in my head, it's not in our head. 0:11:30.400 --> 0:11:32.120 So she pulls me in the room and she said, 0:11:32.120 --> 0:11:37.679 listen to me. Your hair today just oh my god, 0:11:37.679 --> 0:11:41.360 it makes me. She said, you're here today, just added 0:11:41.440 --> 0:11:46.080 another shade to you. Wait wait, wait, no, no no, no 0:11:46.240 --> 0:11:48.400 black woman said this to me. She was like that. 0:11:48.520 --> 0:11:50.040 She was like, that's what I mean. I didn't really 0:11:50.080 --> 0:11:51.840 take it as insulted because she was like, that's basically 0:11:51.840 --> 0:11:53.720 what it did. She was like, your light skinned and 0:11:53.760 --> 0:11:55.560 you may not have felt like this in the room, 0:11:55.800 --> 0:11:57.959 but now you fucking do. She was like, and she's 0:11:58.040 --> 0:12:00.679 dark skinned, and she was like, this is how the fact. 0:12:00.720 --> 0:12:03.120 But not only that, it's so funny that you went 0:12:03.160 --> 0:12:05.520 through this with your twigs. Remember you said you cried 0:12:05.559 --> 0:12:07.480 about your brain, but I cried. Not only did I 0:12:07.480 --> 0:12:09.240 cry about my brains and these were two corn rolls. 0:12:09.440 --> 0:12:12.319 But before starting this job, y'all know, I had dreads 0:12:12.360 --> 0:12:15.160 in my hair. I literally took them out and didn't 0:12:15.200 --> 0:12:17.400 get them redone because I'm like, bro. When I started 0:12:17.400 --> 0:12:19.400 this new job, which I'm not going in there with dreadlock, 0:12:19.480 --> 0:12:22.000 I was having a hard time. So the next day 0:12:22.040 --> 0:12:26.800 I was working at Sorry, representing the company at a 0:12:26.840 --> 0:12:32.280 cyber security conference and I saw the way my boss 0:12:32.320 --> 0:12:34.040 looked at me. He didn't say anything, and he was like, oh, 0:12:34.120 --> 0:12:36.040 you know, you know you're you're going there tomorrow and 0:12:36.080 --> 0:12:38.840 he's like, coin of he he wasn't weird about like 0:12:39.240 --> 0:12:41.240 maybe it was in my head, but like then I 0:12:41.280 --> 0:12:44.000 felt like cooning out for even fucking caring you know 0:12:44.000 --> 0:12:46.360 what I'm saying, Like I'm the person who's like, funk 0:12:46.440 --> 0:12:48.839 what they think? Blah blah blah blah blah. So I 0:12:48.880 --> 0:12:51.800 get on the phone Moll, who was the most black 0:12:51.840 --> 0:12:53.679 person like I'm talking about all day every day and 0:12:54.080 --> 0:12:59.320 fuck almost got fired from making seven years old, and 0:12:59.360 --> 0:13:01.320 what she said to me broke my heart. She's like, 0:13:01.520 --> 0:13:05.679 let me tell you something. Your mama needs you, You 0:13:05.720 --> 0:13:11.120 need you. You could fight them on this, but I 0:13:11.120 --> 0:13:13.280 don't know if you have enough of a leg to 0:13:13.280 --> 0:13:15.720 stand on with your podcast to keep your life up 0:13:15.760 --> 0:13:19.840 if you lose that fight. And I was like, holy shit, 0:13:20.760 --> 0:13:23.240 I have to literally sit here and just fucking take it. 0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:25.839 And I'm crying. I'm bawling, crying on the phone. I 0:13:25.920 --> 0:13:28.800 had an awful fucking day and I didn't know what 0:13:28.840 --> 0:13:30.480 to do. You know, I'm texting my friends are like, 0:13:30.480 --> 0:13:32.000 they can't do this to you, and I'm like, oh no, 0:13:32.120 --> 0:13:34.559 they can. So without getting into too much detail about it, 0:13:34.559 --> 0:13:38.240 I took it out. I felt awful. Um, long story short, 0:13:38.240 --> 0:13:40.520 it got to work the next day after the conference, 0:13:40.520 --> 0:13:44.439 which which it was out for the conference, and four people, know, 0:13:44.600 --> 0:13:46.839 three people at one time came up to me and said, 0:13:47.400 --> 0:13:51.600 you look so much prettier with your hair straight like that. Wow. 0:13:52.240 --> 0:13:57.800 It fucked me up. I mean, I was so emotional 0:13:57.840 --> 0:14:01.760 about it. And then the black woman that he came 0:14:01.760 --> 0:14:03.320 out to me and she was like, yo, like I 0:14:03.400 --> 0:14:05.040 used to do that. I used to purm my hair 0:14:05.120 --> 0:14:06.480 just because I was thinking about that, blah blah. She 0:14:06.480 --> 0:14:07.840 because she's like, I can't believe they did it to you. 0:14:08.520 --> 0:14:10.199 There's a black girl that never talked to in the office, 0:14:10.200 --> 0:14:12.520 who was young, and I was upset and I went 0:14:12.559 --> 0:14:13.920 out too much for her not talking about it. She 0:14:14.000 --> 0:14:15.640 was like, girl, I wear braids all the time, and 0:14:15.640 --> 0:14:17.280 they always do that to me. They always asked me like, oh, 0:14:17.320 --> 0:14:19.360 how did you get that little shell in your hand? 0:14:19.400 --> 0:14:21.280 Like they made me feel so awful, but the fact 0:14:21.320 --> 0:14:23.160 that they kept telling me how much prettier I was 0:14:23.560 --> 0:14:26.640 with my hair straight killed me. And then I get 0:14:26.680 --> 0:14:28.640 to Afro Punk and I'm looking at all these people 0:14:28.720 --> 0:14:31.800 and I'm like, I'm so whack. Yeah, I mean, but 0:14:32.000 --> 0:14:34.600 what you experience is and I think. I don't know 0:14:34.600 --> 0:14:37.080 if I shared this on the podcast, but I broke 0:14:37.120 --> 0:14:40.320 into tears um at my last job because I did 0:14:40.360 --> 0:14:41.920 want braids because I was going to Miami for two 0:14:41.960 --> 0:14:43.000 days in a bitch and want to have to do 0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:44.560 her hair like I was gonna be on the beach. 0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:47.640 I this would be great. And I'll sit here and 0:14:47.680 --> 0:14:50.040 tell you like, I'm kind of jealous of the fact 0:14:50.080 --> 0:14:52.080 that you were able to even call your aunt, because 0:14:52.520 --> 0:14:55.040 this was something that when I called my mama, my 0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:57.120 white ass mama ain't have no advice for me. She 0:14:57.280 --> 0:14:59.680 was putting me on the coworker on the phone where 0:14:59.680 --> 0:15:02.320 her coworker and then I cuts her out because I 0:15:02.360 --> 0:15:04.680 find out her coworking Mexican. But you ain't got the 0:15:04.720 --> 0:15:07.840 same goddamn struggles as me, Like yeah, you a specially 0:15:08.200 --> 0:15:10.680 you ain't got the same struggles like and and and. 0:15:10.760 --> 0:15:14.440 I mean people assume that we don't have those stripes 0:15:14.520 --> 0:15:17.920 because maybe our hair is you know, it isn't nappy. 0:15:17.960 --> 0:15:20.160 If I've had people, you know, bring up like girl, 0:15:20.200 --> 0:15:22.440 but you've got white people hair, But it's like, um, no, 0:15:22.600 --> 0:15:25.840 sis I wear we've often most of the time. Um, 0:15:25.880 --> 0:15:27.960 even when I put a button, bitch, that is an extension, 0:15:28.080 --> 0:15:31.360 there's added hair into that. Um. When I have bangs, 0:15:31.400 --> 0:15:33.640 those bangs are not mine. When I have curly hair. 0:15:34.560 --> 0:15:37.960 I understand how we look racially ambiguous, but I feel 0:15:38.000 --> 0:15:40.040 like at my job, I'm not. Actually, when I went 0:15:40.160 --> 0:15:42.640 to go to the hair salont to like get the 0:15:42.640 --> 0:15:44.720 twist taking out and everything like that, the lady that 0:15:44.760 --> 0:15:46.560 does my hair as an older Jamaican lady, and like, 0:15:47.200 --> 0:15:49.600 I couldn't even get it out without crying. Well, I've 0:15:49.640 --> 0:15:51.720 heard for a long time, and she was like, listen, 0:15:51.760 --> 0:15:54.400 you're not the first person I've been doing hair for 0:15:54.400 --> 0:15:56.920 forty five years, and you are not the first girl 0:15:56.960 --> 0:15:58.440 to come and say this to me. I will say 0:15:58.480 --> 0:16:00.720 one thing about my job that I I'm grateful for 0:16:00.880 --> 0:16:04.000 is that there's a lot of groups within my job. 0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:07.080 Like so you have like a gay club, you have 0:16:07.320 --> 0:16:10.920 lesbian club, you have UM an Asian outlet, you have 0:16:10.960 --> 0:16:14.560 a black outlet, a Latina outlet, and they're actually UM 0:16:14.760 --> 0:16:18.760 is a group that they do and it's it's very 0:16:18.800 --> 0:16:22.880 amazing too, like that I know that other people, like 0:16:22.960 --> 0:16:24.600 even for my senior to reach out to me, like 0:16:24.640 --> 0:16:27.280 it meant a lot just to know that, listen, this 0:16:27.320 --> 0:16:29.000 is a great company that we work for, but you're 0:16:29.000 --> 0:16:32.520 still dealing with other human beings and so you know 0:16:32.920 --> 0:16:36.200 you have to kind of take the cars and dose 0:16:36.240 --> 0:16:38.480 my Afro center here have to funk you up so much. 0:16:38.760 --> 0:16:40.600 But but it does, and it has nothing to do 0:16:40.640 --> 0:16:43.440 with the company. But let me know. So I've been 0:16:43.520 --> 0:16:45.680 tech sales, right. I worked for my last company, what 0:16:45.840 --> 0:16:48.480 six years, you know, I went and well like whatever, 0:16:48.520 --> 0:16:50.520 But that's when I was doing I was the ship. 0:16:50.800 --> 0:16:52.240 I was making all the numbers. I was number one. 0:16:52.280 --> 0:16:54.920 I was doing it both in our both of our 0:16:55.000 --> 0:16:58.360 first just wait and I also it told me this 0:16:58.440 --> 0:17:00.000 fucking hit me and told me and Jeeves has been 0:17:00.000 --> 0:17:01.080 telling me you're gonna be there for a year and 0:17:01.120 --> 0:17:03.000 a half to get something better. I've been going on 0:17:03.080 --> 0:17:06.040 client meetings to really cool companies, dogs running around. They're 0:17:06.040 --> 0:17:08.040 still making as much money as me. Right, it's not 0:17:08.080 --> 0:17:09.959 just because it's cooler. Office is less and I'm like, 0:17:10.640 --> 0:17:12.640 I'm on my way out. I will be out soon. 0:17:12.920 --> 0:17:14.440 And that's a good feeling. It's like this is good. 0:17:14.440 --> 0:17:16.640 I'm making good money. Everything is fine, but this can't 0:17:16.680 --> 0:17:18.080 be where I stay. For me to be able to 0:17:18.119 --> 0:17:20.080 walk into the office and feel like that, and then 0:17:20.080 --> 0:17:22.879 they tell me I look prettier. I just I feel 0:17:22.880 --> 0:17:25.840 like um. And it's something that you know, maybe you 0:17:25.880 --> 0:17:28.400 guys don't understand because you guys see us and y'all 0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:30.359 see us as these light bright holes, like how can 0:17:30.440 --> 0:17:33.440 y'all be black? But to know that it doesn't matter 0:17:33.440 --> 0:17:35.680 the shade of black you are, Like we experienced this 0:17:35.720 --> 0:17:38.240 ship too, like the ship that y'all experienced in the office, 0:17:38.400 --> 0:17:42.320 like or you know, just being a minority in general. 0:17:42.320 --> 0:17:43.959 And I know Latina's that listen to us go through 0:17:44.000 --> 0:17:45.639 the same thing. Even some Asians may go through the 0:17:45.680 --> 0:17:48.400 same thing in their workplace. Um, And it's just where 0:17:48.880 --> 0:17:51.280 it's really, it's really just did you watch Crazy Rich Ass? No? 0:17:51.400 --> 0:17:52.840 I didn't. I want to go see it at blocks 0:17:52.840 --> 0:17:56.119 a little party and the first opening scene is her 0:17:56.160 --> 0:17:58.040 going to a hotel in Manhattan and he's saying, maybe 0:17:58.040 --> 0:18:02.879 you could do Chinatown. Oh ship, I be forgetting that, Like, yeah, yeah, 0:18:02.960 --> 0:18:05.480 but that's what I'm saying. It's the person. It's not 0:18:05.560 --> 0:18:07.560 that hotel. She went to that as a ship hotel. 0:18:07.600 --> 0:18:10.119 But we have to realize, like we're dealing with people, 0:18:10.480 --> 0:18:12.800 and all these people have different experiences, all these people 0:18:12.800 --> 0:18:15.439 grow up differently, all these people come from cultures that 0:18:15.760 --> 0:18:17.679 we may not know. It's a damn shame too that 0:18:17.720 --> 0:18:22.080 you really got to sit here and conform yourselves and 0:18:22.160 --> 0:18:24.240 feel better. Actually, an Asian woman at work told me 0:18:24.280 --> 0:18:25.760 when I was kind of bitching about my hair things. 0:18:25.800 --> 0:18:27.879 She was like, my kids are going to going to 0:18:27.960 --> 0:18:29.479 go to college one day. Did you know Harvard has 0:18:29.480 --> 0:18:32.960 an Asian quota the max they gotta cut off. This 0:18:33.000 --> 0:18:36.600 is enough Asians because they're too sport. Wow, we're gonna 0:18:36.600 --> 0:18:38.960 go ahead and get into somehow ship. Well, vanilla ship 0:18:38.960 --> 0:18:41.160 actually is what we're gonna talk about. Um, And it's 0:18:41.160 --> 0:18:44.200