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Speaker 1: This is the Bread Show.

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Speaker 2: Kelly Clark City is returning to Las Vegas in twenty

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Speaker 2: twenty six for her studio Sessions Las Vegas Residency. You

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Speaker 2: can enter now for a chance to win a trip

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Speaker 2: for two to the July twenty fourth show, a two

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Speaker 2: night hotel state at Flamingo Hotel and Casino in Las

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Speaker 2: Vegas July twenty third through the twenty fifth, and round

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Speaker 2: trip airfare. Text Beautiful to five seven, seven three nine

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Speaker 2: right now for a chance to win. A confirmation text

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Speaker 2: will be sent. Standard message and data rates may apply.

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Speaker 2: All thanks to Live Nation Now. Paulina, Pauline, I love

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Speaker 2: you so much. You're mine, my sister me Edmana you are.

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Speaker 2: You are a handful abat and you know I know

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Speaker 2: that I'm your work friend and arguab believe if you

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Speaker 2: believe in this kind of thing, maybe your work husband

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Speaker 2: in some regards, but your actual husband, I think, and

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Speaker 2: I think you have your hands full with him by

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Speaker 2: the way too, Like let's let's go both ways on this,

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Speaker 2: Like I don't think this is one side. I think

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Speaker 2: everyone's got their hands full here. But you you wrote

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Speaker 2: this morning on our sheet that you we've reached a

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Speaker 2: tipping point in your financial situation, in the house, in

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Speaker 2: the in the marital home.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and you have a bit of a spending problem,

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Speaker 1: you know what. Yeah, I do.

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Speaker 3: I'll admit it. The first step is emitting, right, and

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Speaker 3: it is accepting that that is true. I do have

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Speaker 3: a little bit of a spending problem. I like to

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Speaker 3: swipe a card okay often, or type the numbers in

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Speaker 3: or even Apple pay Okay, I like Apple pays too.

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Speaker 3: That's so easy and fun.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, you know you get a bill for that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, the problem is I don't see the bill,

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Speaker 3: and that has become a problem.

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Speaker 2: So this car that you're talking about in your Apple

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Speaker 2: pay or whatever, they're attached to an account that he

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Speaker 2: that he would technically pay for.

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Speaker 3: Yes, So we don't have a joints account, like, we

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Speaker 3: don't have a good joint checking or even a joint

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Speaker 3: well maybe a savings we do. We have one for

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Speaker 3: our daughter, but we.

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Speaker 1: You didn't want to do that, Diddy.

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Speaker 3: No, certainly. I'm also a believer though even if you're married,

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Speaker 3: you should have your own thing. But also, like you know,

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Speaker 3: come bine to like you need to do both. That's

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Speaker 3: my hot takee I'm not here to argue about it.

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Speaker 3: But the credit card deal he did put me as

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Speaker 3: an authorized user, so I got the credit card too.

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Speaker 3: It was nice, you know, I got to boost my

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Speaker 3: credit a little bit, have a little bit of a

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Speaker 3: credit line. Okay. But what happened was I started using

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Speaker 3: it as a primary source of like spending, anything would

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Speaker 3: go on there, right, so the coffee, baby diapers, which

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Speaker 3: already was agreed upon, like I'll put the baby stuff

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Speaker 3: on there. And the plan was at the end of

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Speaker 3: the month, when the bill comes, you pay it in

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Speaker 3: full and if you have the money, if you're not

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Speaker 3: gonna have the money, don't spend the card.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 3: It's become a little excessive with me because I'm a

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Speaker 3: girl who's like, I'll do this later. I'll handle it later.

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Speaker 3: I'll get to it, you know, when I get to it.

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Speaker 1: Kidding, no idea.

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Speaker 3: Yeah that's me. Oh even financially, that's me. So I

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Speaker 3: used to get good morning messages from my husband and

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Speaker 3: they were very very kind, but they would always end

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Speaker 3: with stop using the card. Stop using the credit card.

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Speaker 3: And I took that lightly. Sorry, I took it a

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Speaker 3: little lightly. I was like, all right, yeah, you say that,

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Speaker 3: but okay, oh mom, I've officially been banned from using

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Speaker 3: the card, and if I have to use it, I

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Speaker 3: have to ask for permission. Now, oh boy, I have

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Speaker 3: to ask before I use this card. You guys, I

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Speaker 3: have never asked a man for anything in my life.

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Speaker 1: This is really hard for me.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to ask anybody for nothing, and I

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Speaker 3: have to ask him to use a credit card because

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Speaker 3: he knows my spending is bad.

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Speaker 2: Now, I want to be clear about this though, just

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Speaker 2: just so we're all on the same page. This is

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Speaker 2: not a shared account. I mean, even if it were,

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Speaker 2: maybe this, depending on the circumstances, would be reasonable. But like,

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Speaker 2: this is not an account where you're putting money in

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Speaker 2: and he's blocking your blessings here, like and he's saying

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Speaker 2: you can't take money your own money out. This is

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Speaker 2: this is hey, look, this is I'm going to pay this,

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Speaker 2: but the use of it needs to be for our child,

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Speaker 2: for food, and like, here are the things that I'm

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Speaker 2: willing to spend money on. Not your coffee, your fast food,

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Speaker 2: you're shopping, your blowouts, your Brazilian blowouts. Okay, So I

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Speaker 2: just want to be clear, Like, this is not a

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Speaker 2: matter of we have a joint bank account. Because I've

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Speaker 2: heard this one before where everybody contributes all their money,

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Speaker 2: but then one person gets to choose how the money

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Speaker 2: goes out.

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Speaker 1: That's not fair.

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Speaker 2: But this is like you had an agreement, like we're

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Speaker 2: gonna I am going to provide with my portion of

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Speaker 2: the money that we make for this family the following things,

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Speaker 2: and then you sort of decided, well, and it's also

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Speaker 2: going to include the following more things that I decided.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's definitely including everything and anything. And it's getting

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Speaker 3: real bad. And I told myself because I was like,

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Speaker 3: I'm going to be responsible and I'll pay it at

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Speaker 3: the end of the month, Like whatever I put on there,

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Speaker 3: whether it is the coffee or it is the lunch

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Speaker 3: or whatever, I'm going to pay it. Like that's the

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Speaker 3: responsible thing to do. And then life be life in

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Speaker 3: and sometimes I don't get to it right and I

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Speaker 3: don't get the bill, so I think I've been a

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Speaker 3: little blind to that. I do blame myself for that,

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Speaker 3: and I told myself, this is my year to get

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Speaker 3: financially good, like I'm going to get it together. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: where it was disciplined, right, My work was disciplined. So

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Speaker 3: my husband said Okay, we're going to discipline you and

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Speaker 3: take this card away. So now I have to ask

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Speaker 3: for permission to use it in terms of like if

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Speaker 3: I want to buy something outside of like you said,

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Speaker 3: Fred the baby, or our you know, our needs the home,

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Speaker 3: toilet paper and things like.

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Speaker 2: That, well I want to know eight five five five

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Speaker 2: nine one three five you can call in text the

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Speaker 2: same number, Like how do you deal with this in

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Speaker 2: your marriage when when one person is a spender and

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Speaker 2: the other person is not, Because I don't know how

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Speaker 2: I would do with that, Like I I honestly am

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Speaker 2: not even sure if I could be with someone who

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Speaker 2: didn't share at least similar sort of financial goals or

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Speaker 2: principles as the ones I was raised with because my

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Speaker 2: parents they I don't know my mom. My mom to

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Speaker 2: this day acts like she lived there and during the depression.

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Speaker 1: She didn't.

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Speaker 2: She did not live during the depression like my now

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Speaker 2: her parents did and so and I guess her parents'

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Speaker 2: parents did. But we were always raised that with the

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Speaker 2: exception of a few things ouse in a car and

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Speaker 2: except that's really expensive, Like as far as frivolous items

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Speaker 2: are concerned, if you don't have the money, and then

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Speaker 2: you can't have it and that's the end of it.

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Speaker 2: Like I didn't have a credit card until I was

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Speaker 2: much much older. And I get that not everybody can

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Speaker 2: live that way, but I mean it is sort of

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Speaker 2: the responsible way to live. But I don't know that

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Speaker 2: I could necessarily get with somebody who thinks that I

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Speaker 2: just and I'm not saying this is you, but just

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Speaker 2: spends and spends and worries about it later. I think

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Speaker 2: it's like two entirely different mindsets, and so I sort

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Speaker 2: of wonder, like, how do you, guys, how are you

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Speaker 2: gonna Ultimately, of course you're gonna make it work, but

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Speaker 2: like this is what it comes to. I guess like

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Speaker 2: he has to be like you can't spend any money

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Speaker 2: anymore because but is he being too rigid?

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Speaker 1: You know? Is there something in the middle. I don't know.

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Speaker 3: No, I feel like, honestly, like it's time to check

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Speaker 3: me a little bit. Like I'm not mad at it

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Speaker 3: because this has been years. I mean, if you want

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Speaker 3: to call my mom same thing, she loves to spend.

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Speaker 3: I'm not a saver, like I'm really not, and that's bad.

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Speaker 3: I'm thirty three years old, like I have a kid now,

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Speaker 3: Like I want to be more responsible because I want

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Speaker 3: my kids to be in a good position, you know.

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Speaker 3: And my mom was like like your mom too, Like

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Speaker 3: my mom would not spend a dollar if she didn't

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Speaker 3: like have to, Like she is very much like I'm

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Speaker 3: keeping my money, you know, and she won't spend it whatever.

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Speaker 3: So like, I don't know where I got this from.

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Speaker 1: I really don't.

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Speaker 3: Maybe it's not go back to therapy, So I really

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Speaker 3: don't know where this came from.

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Speaker 4: The first set is accept I'm exciting you are taking

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Speaker 4: the first step.

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Speaker 3: I am who I am. That's good. But I want

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Speaker 3: to work on it like I do because I want

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Speaker 3: to be financial responsible. Why don't you guys look at

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Speaker 3: me next year and be like, oh, that girl, she

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Speaker 3: gonna try to save you.

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Speaker 2: When we talk about just people will say like, well,

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Speaker 2: that's a privilege, you know, Fred, that's a privileged take

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Speaker 2: like some people can't afford to live like that. But

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Speaker 2: the thing is, now, if we like break it down

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Speaker 2: a little bit, I'm not talking about housing, I'm not

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Speaker 2: talking about medical expenses, I'm not talking about school. I'm

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Speaker 2: not talking about you know, things where we don't have

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Speaker 2: to just cash money laying or hundreds of thousands of

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Speaker 2: dollars or whatever to buy these things. But I am

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Speaker 2: talking about coffee, and I am talking about eating out,

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Speaker 2: and I am talking about like, you know, the stuff

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Speaker 2: at this at the mall that you want, the clothing

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Speaker 2: items and the things that you want that aren't a necessity.

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Speaker 2: I think there are people that will buy that stuff

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Speaker 2: anyway on a credit card and they don't have the

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Speaker 2: cash right now, and they'll worry about later and it

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Speaker 2: it accrues debt and interest, and then you accrue dad

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Speaker 2: and then before long you got a little bit of

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Speaker 2: a problem. I don't think that that's necessarily a privileged

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Speaker 2: statement to me, because I do think that a lot

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Speaker 2: of people, if they chose to, could dial back on

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Speaker 2: stuff that's sort of the kind of stuff that you

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Speaker 2: can buy when you have a little extra money, as

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Speaker 2: opposed to the kind of stuff that becomes part of

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Speaker 2: your life.

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Speaker 3: M M.

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Speaker 2: It's not a necessity, like you know, it's it's a luxury.

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Speaker 2: It's something I hope everybody, if they want to, can have.

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Speaker 2: If you want to eat out more, offer and you

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Speaker 2: want to have Starbucks or Dunkin or whatever every morning.

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Speaker 2: But like if you don't have the money, then maybe

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Speaker 2: you got to make coffee at home, and then maybe

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Speaker 2: you don't rack up, you know, interest on these little

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Speaker 2: payments that turn out to be really big things that

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Speaker 2: you then have to spend years trying to pay off.

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Speaker 2: So I don't I guess I don't know if it's

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Speaker 2: just this it is a privilege, but I'm not sure

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Speaker 2: if it's a privileged thing.

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Speaker 1: But some would say.

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Speaker 3: That, yeah, what about like well, yeah, because like if

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Speaker 3: all the Amazon packages that come to the house, right, Like,

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Speaker 3: let's be real, like I don't I don't need that,

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Speaker 3: you know, fifth you know, whatever set that I'm wearing.

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Speaker 3: I love a good set right hands on the top.

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Speaker 3: You might need a yeah, but like not if I

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Speaker 3: can't evoke it.

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Speaker 5: Okay.

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Speaker 1: My thing is when he texts you and he says,

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Speaker 1: you know, bay, good morning, babe, beautiful, whatever the hell

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Speaker 1: he says, you love you, you're the best wife, you're hot, great,

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Speaker 1: rack whatever, and then he says, but don't use the card.

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Speaker 1: Why is that something that you thought was just like

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Speaker 1: a suggestion or like something that's just like he.

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Speaker 3: Doesn't really mean it, you know, I like to test people.

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Speaker 3: Maybe that's what it is.

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Speaker 1: Really, No, kidd, I'm not say that, Okay, like.

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Speaker 3: What part of you is like, Eh, he doesn't really.

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Speaker 1: He's telling me that every morning, but he doesn't really

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Speaker 1: he means it.

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Speaker 3: Now, guys, Yeah, I'm in trouble.

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Speaker 1: You're a little lot.

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Speaker 2: I love Paulina, but even at work, I'll be like, Paulina,

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Speaker 2: I don't think, let's not do that, and then you'll

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Speaker 2: you'll do it a couple more times, like you'll test

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Speaker 2: it just to make sure I was serious, and it's

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Speaker 2: like hey, you know, or like we'll talk about something

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Speaker 2: that we're going to like it's a suggestion.

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Speaker 1: He's like, that's.

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Speaker 2: No, we got to do that actually, like we're gonna

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Speaker 2: have to go ahead and do that. So I can

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Speaker 2: see that. I can see that at home where it's like, oh,

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Speaker 2: he was just he was just thinking that. But he'll forget,

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Speaker 2: you know, he'll forget about that thing when then the

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Speaker 2: bill comes and you know he wasn't kidding. Hey David,

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Speaker 2: how you doing? Hey?

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Speaker 5: Fred? How you doing?

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Speaker 1: David? Hey, thanks for calling, thanks for listening. How do

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Speaker 1: you do this? I don't know. Are you married?

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Speaker 2: I mean do you and your wife or partner whomever?

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Speaker 2: Do you guys have like different spending philosophies, and if

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Speaker 2: you do, then how do you how do you make

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Speaker 2: that work?

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Speaker 4: So we inside ever since we got to gather that

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Speaker 4: herent money's her money, My money's my money.

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Speaker 1: But as far as the bills get paid, we have

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Speaker 1: a joint account. Okay, I like that bad. So you spends,

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Speaker 1: but let me ask you this.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So, so the bills get paid because you both

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Speaker 2: contribute to an account that pays the bills. But then, like,

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Speaker 2: if there's extra stuff and she doesn't have any money

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Speaker 2: to pay that because she's a spender and she went

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Speaker 2: and spend it on a bunch of other things.

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Speaker 1: Are you ever? Are you ever bitter? Do you ever resent?

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Speaker 2: Like, well, why do I have to pay for the

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Speaker 2: vacation because you went out and bought a bunch of

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Speaker 2: other crap? Like because I would think that would be

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Speaker 2: a problem too. Okay, So you don't care. You just

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Speaker 2: accept that anything that's not home mingled thing is is

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Speaker 2: she can go blow all of that.

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Speaker 1: You don't care. Yeah, I long have put him at

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Speaker 1: the end of the day to say if she needs

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Speaker 1: money for a gas or something, then of course her

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Speaker 1: husband I got her back. Okay, all right, Well, Central,

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Speaker 1: you got a dialed in. Thank you David, all right,

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Speaker 1: thank your friend. Yeah, because I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I feel like, okay, so we're both contributing

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Speaker 2: to the bills and everything's covered. Maybe we have like

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Speaker 2: a savings goal, so we both contribute to that. But

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Speaker 2: then I feel like I might get bitter when it

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Speaker 2: comes time for something extra and there's no money left

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Speaker 2: because you spend all your money on that, so now

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Speaker 2: I have to cover it. But maybe then you build

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Speaker 2: that into that shared budget too, and that way whatever's

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Speaker 2: left really doesn't matter. And if you go blow all

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Speaker 2: of that, then who cares? Right?

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Speaker 1: Does that make sense?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: You like that plan?

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Speaker 3: Okay, got how do you do it?

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Speaker 1: Kiki? Oh?

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Speaker 3: Oh, well, you.

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Speaker 1: Know, I don't know. I am a I A.

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Speaker 4: I feel like I do a good job, and I

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Speaker 4: think I got this from my sister of I know

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Speaker 4: how to make cheap things look really expensive, you know

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Speaker 4: what I'm saying. So people look like, oh, that's luxury,

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Speaker 4: and I'm like, no, not really.

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Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 3: This is from fashion over this from she.

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Speaker 4: So I live well below my means, like I drive

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Speaker 4: forty five minutes to work every day because I live

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Speaker 4: somewhere that's cheaper. You know what I'm saying, Like I

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Speaker 4: always live below my means because I cannot fathom the

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Speaker 4: feeling of not having money.

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Speaker 1: Like I've never I've been working since I was sixteen.

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Speaker 4: I've never k back on what Thank the Lord, never

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Speaker 4: have not had a job. So I don't even like

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Speaker 4: when my bank account gets to a certain point, I

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Speaker 4: get upset, my stomach hurts. I'm not I'm like having

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Speaker 4: a malfunctioning so I will go find another job before

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Speaker 4: I get to a certain point of like not having So.

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Speaker 1: I don't really like, we don't have this deep issue.

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Speaker 3: It's just like the bill.

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Speaker 4: I know the bills are going to get paid because

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Speaker 4: I'm going to work to make sure, and then he's

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Speaker 4: got to work to make sure. But if we were

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Speaker 4: to ever split, I have a stash where I'm gonna

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Speaker 4: be okay, you know what I because I don't even

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Speaker 4: you sound like.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like, oh, yeah, that's all the money we have. No,

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Speaker 2: my mom is banking money on the side in case

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Speaker 2: my dad ever accept No, they got plenty more money

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Speaker 2: she is.

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Speaker 1: She just ain't telling him about it.

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Speaker 2: And I love my dad, but he's the dummy for

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Speaker 2: letting her do all the money, all the money he'll

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Speaker 2: be here of Well, yeah, in sol shade. If you

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Speaker 2: ever act, I have to say, like, and I've said

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Speaker 2: this many times and I'm not ashamed of it, but like,

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Speaker 2: my parents work very, very hard. They provided us with

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Speaker 2: a very you know, honestly a privileged life, Like I'm

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Speaker 2: very very grateful, sent me to college and did all

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Speaker 2: this stuff. But then when I was done with college,

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Speaker 2: they were done with me. And the most valuable financially

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Speaker 2: maybe maybe maybe all the way around they were doing

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Speaker 2: with me completely never heard of. Again, the most valuable

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Speaker 2: lesson I think that they ever could have instilled in

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Speaker 2: me is is some financial responsibility. Hey, you want that item,

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Speaker 2: you want to go buy that at the mall. That's fine.

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Speaker 2: Then then you can mow the lawn, you can go

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Speaker 2: work at the you know, my dad's factory. You can

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Speaker 2: do this, you can do that. Here are the ways

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Speaker 2: you can get the money. But you if you don't

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Speaker 2: have the money, you can't have it. And again I

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Speaker 2: hear people they're going to ride up here and say,

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Speaker 2: but what about you know, that's privilege and what about this?

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Speaker 2: But I'm not talking about I know that people have

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Speaker 2: a hard time making ends meet and bill and they're

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Speaker 2: living paycheck to paycheck to survive. That's not what I'm

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Speaker 2: talking about, you know. I'm talking about like the frivolous

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Speaker 2: stuff that we don't have to have.

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Speaker 1: And I'm with you, Kiki.

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Speaker 2: Like the idea that I would be spending more than

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Speaker 2: I can pay, I don't know. I would like stay

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Speaker 2: up on crap. I would stay up at night right,

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Speaker 2: not living. That's hard enough. Hey, Karen, how you doing? God,

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Speaker 2: how are you?

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Speaker 1: Hi?

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Speaker 3: Karen?

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Speaker 1: So your husband's the spender. How do you do that?

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Speaker 5: Oh? It made me crazy at first, But again I

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Speaker 5: made him pay everything at the end of the week,

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Speaker 5: all the credit cards. We used, two suffer cards, and

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Speaker 5: it has to be paid at the end of the week.

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Speaker 2: Done okay, And then as long as he does that,

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Speaker 2: then then you you don't care what he spends me.

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Speaker 1: On that.

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Speaker 5: As long as it's paid up, and like there's you know,

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Speaker 5: a certain amount going into savings. It taught him that

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Speaker 5: you know, when you've got like a thousand or fifteen

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Speaker 5: hundred at the end of the month on the credit

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Speaker 5: card that you did you realize you were racking up

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Speaker 5: when you pay it every week. It's like, oh, maybe

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Speaker 5: I will make a sandwich for lunch today.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I see. So you make it work, Karen, thank you,

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Speaker 2: have a good day. You tube you all right? Pe Well,

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Speaker 2: we're putting you on an allowance.

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Speaker 3: Honestly, like look back when you're a kid. Here's your

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Speaker 3: ten dollars a week. Whatever, moll of the grass, like

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Speaker 3: that's where I'm at.

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Speaker 2: I'm just gonna you know what, Hobby's going to give

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Speaker 2: you a gift card at the beginning, what has gone

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Speaker 2: into it?

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Speaker 1: Going more press show next