Speaker 1: Compassion. It's not something you do for other people that's
Speaker 1: a great side effect. Compassion is something you do for yourself.
Speaker 1: It changes the way you function and show what in
Speaker 1: the world. So hey everyone, welcome back to the number
Speaker 1: one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and
Speaker 1: every one of you that come back every week to listen, learn,
Speaker 1: and grow. And I am so excited to be talking
Speaker 1: to you today. I can't believe it. My new book
Speaker 1: Eight Rules of Love is out and I cannot wait
Speaker 1: to share it with you. I am so excited for
Speaker 1: you to read this book, for you to listen to
Speaker 1: this book. I read the audiobook. If you haven't got
Speaker 1: it already, make sure you go to eight Rules of
Speaker 1: Love dot com. It's dedicated to anyone who's trying to find, keep,
Speaker 1: or let go of love. So if you've got friends
Speaker 1: that are dating, broken up, or struggling with love, make
Speaker 1: sure you grab this book. And I'd love to invite
Speaker 1: you to come and see me for my global tour
Speaker 1: Love Rules. Go to jasdytour dot com to learn more
Speaker 1: information about tickets, VIP experiences, and more. I can't wait
Speaker 1: to see you this year, and you know that I
Speaker 1: love introducing you to thinkers, leaders, people who can inspire
Speaker 1: you to change your daily habits and make shifts, small
Speaker 1: shifts that make big differences in your daily lives. Now,
Speaker 1: today I'm talking to a guest who's already been on
Speaker 1: the podcast before. He's a favorite here. I know you
Speaker 1: enjoy listening to him, and some of the videos that
Speaker 1: we've done together when I've been speaking on his platform
Speaker 1: and he's been here, have gone absolutely viral, So I
Speaker 1: know you're excited for this one. I'm talking about the
Speaker 1: one and only Vision Lakiani. Now. Vision created mind Valley,
Speaker 1: one of the world's most powerful life transformation platforms that
Speaker 1: now has a following of twenty million people across one
Speaker 1: hundred and ninety five countries. And today we're talking about
Speaker 1: his brand new book called The Six Phase Meditation Method.
Speaker 1: And for those of you want to know how much
Speaker 1: I love and endorse this book and this human I
Speaker 1: have a testimonial right on the back of the book.
Speaker 1: This book is a practice. It's not just a book
Speaker 1: that you'll read, it's not just a book that will
Speaker 1: sit on your shelf. It's a book that you will
Speaker 1: actually implement that will shift the way you think about
Speaker 1: meditation and the way you think. Welcome to the podcast
Speaker 1: Vision Lackiani Vision. Thank you Jan back here. I love
Speaker 1: the new podcast set up. I love your new place.
Speaker 1: This is amazing. Well, I love seeing you grow and
Speaker 1: grow and grow. Oh well, it's such an honor because
Speaker 1: I've had so much fun with you at multiple mind
Speaker 1: Value events, whether we were in Italy, Sardinia, whether we
Speaker 1: were in La where we did so many events together.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think the community that you've cultivated in
Speaker 1: mind Value is so special. Yeah, and the people that
Speaker 1: are so special. And whenever I'm there, I feel so
Speaker 1: much love. I feel so much genuine sincerity to grow.
Speaker 1: And my community here loves you to your own poets.
Speaker 1: And can I appreciate you for one thing. Many people
Speaker 1: don't know this about you, and maybe you don't know
Speaker 1: this about you as well. But when I first met
Speaker 1: you in twenty eighteen in Sardinia, you were speaking at
Speaker 1: one of my events. I was not on Instagram, I
Speaker 1: was not on social media at all. I felt I
Speaker 1: was too old, I didn't know. I felt imposter syndrome,
Speaker 1: I felt I don't know anything. I felt I'm too old,
Speaker 1: and you were the person who convinced me to get
Speaker 1: on Instagram. I didn't know that. You didn't know that.
Speaker 1: But before then I used Instagram just to share. I
Speaker 1: used Instagram as a gratitude wall. I would share pictures
Speaker 1: of things I was grateful for, never for an audience,
Speaker 1: and you showed me that it was possible. My Instagram
Speaker 1: blew up. It's now like eight hundred thousand people at
Speaker 1: Vision and now I use it to curate this community
Speaker 1: and to talk about my discoveries and personal group. But
Speaker 1: you were the person who inspired me to get on. Well,
Speaker 1: thank you man. I had no idea. That's that's beautiful.
Speaker 1: I'm happy for the world that you did get on.
Speaker 1: My first inspirational Instagram post happened one week after we spoke.
Speaker 1: And you don't even remember this, but we spoke over dinner.
Speaker 1: Yeah I remember. I've remembered all our meetings. But I
Speaker 1: think what you've done with mind value, what you've done
Speaker 1: with your work, has been incredible. Today. I want to
Speaker 1: dive into parts of this book, but I want to
Speaker 1: dive into it with your experience, because I think everyone
Speaker 1: can remember or has a distinct memory of their first
Speaker 1: meditation experience. What was your first meditation experience ever? Do
Speaker 1: you remember it? Like the first time you were ever
Speaker 1: introduced to any form of meditation. So the first time
Speaker 1: it happened to me, I was fourteen years old. I
Speaker 1: was a young kid in Malaysia, and I decided to
Speaker 1: try a form of meditation that I learned from a
Speaker 1: book called The Silver Method, a really old nineteen sixties
Speaker 1: nineteen seventies book. Back then, I was fourteen, so must
Speaker 1: have been like nineteen ninety. There was no internet in Malaysia.
Speaker 1: We had four television channels, so really to pass the
Speaker 1: time by, all I did was I would browse all
Speaker 1: of the books on my father's bookshelf, and I discovered
Speaker 1: this book called the Silver Method. Now, the book captivated
Speaker 1: me because it spoke about how the mind can heal
Speaker 1: the body. What was happening with me back then, as
Speaker 1: I was having a really horrible skin problem. My face
Speaker 1: was covered in acne. I had very little confidence. I
Speaker 1: considered myself ugly. I had difficulty making friends at school.
Speaker 1: You know, even if I liked a girl, I had
Speaker 1: no confidence to even talk to her. And so when
Speaker 1: I read in this book that the mind can heal
Speaker 1: the skin, I was game off. I want to figure
Speaker 1: this out. So I tried practicing, nothing happened. I continued practicing,
Speaker 1: nothing happened, and there was very little results. But I
Speaker 1: read and reread and reread that book over and over
Speaker 1: and over and over again. Then I started picking other books,
Speaker 1: from Bob Proctor, from A Wayne Dyer. I started reading
Speaker 1: this books. It became a passion, and slowly things began
Speaker 1: to click, and one day applying the Silver Method. At
Speaker 1: this point I was seventeen years old. Things had finally
Speaker 1: started clicking. I began to understand it's not just about
Speaker 1: hoping and wanting your skin to heal. There was a process,
Speaker 1: there was a method, there was a psychology. When it clicked,
Speaker 1: in five weeks, I completely healed my skin. Five of
Speaker 1: skin disease healed in five weeks. Today science talk about
Speaker 1: this as a thing. It's called psychodematology, how your mind
Speaker 1: influences your skin. But that was my first evidence that
Speaker 1: we can use our minds to influence our bodies. Now,
Speaker 1: the next thing I did was I decided to see
Speaker 1: can I use my mind to accomplish a really big
Speaker 1: goal for me? That was qualifying for the US Open
Speaker 1: Taekwondo Championships. Takwondo was Korean karate I was really into it,
Speaker 1: and I managed to qualify my first ever trip to
Speaker 1: the United States, which was my dreamland. Since I was
Speaker 1: like a kid, I wanted to go to America. My
Speaker 1: first ever trip was to the US Open to represent
Speaker 1: my country. It was in Colorado Springs in nineteen ninety three,
Speaker 1: my first time I fell in love with America. But
Speaker 1: it became because I visualized that in my mind, and
Speaker 1: that was my beginning, the beginning of my fascination with
Speaker 1: the human mind that would later lead to me starting
Speaker 1: Mind Value and writing this book. That's amazing. I love
Speaker 1: that story for so many reasons. He because, well, let
Speaker 1: me just break this down for everyone. You had an
Speaker 1: intention that was very clear, even if it was to
Speaker 1: save your skin or to impress a girl or whatever
Speaker 1: it was, you were clear of why you wanted to meditate.
Speaker 1: The second thing was you were happy to read the
Speaker 1: book again and again and again again and again. And
Speaker 1: I think that takes a lot of resilience because most
Speaker 1: of us, when we try something once and it doesn't work,
Speaker 1: we give up. And the third thing is you didn't
Speaker 1: just test on something small. Once you saw a small result,
Speaker 1: you're like, well, does this apply to something bigger, and
Speaker 1: I think those three lessons in and of themselves are
Speaker 1: so powerful. What has changed in the benefits to you
Speaker 1: of meditation today? At that time, it was solving your skin,
Speaker 1: it was getting focused around the taekwondo championships. How do
Speaker 1: you view meditation like? What is its use in your
Speaker 1: life today? Because I feel like so many people keep
Speaker 1: telling us to meditate and there's so many benefits, but
Speaker 1: for you personally, what's the reason. So I grew up
Speaker 1: in a Hindu family in Malaysia, meditation was never what
Speaker 1: I was thought. The style of Hinduism I was thought
Speaker 1: was very dogmatic. You had prayers, you had chance, you
Speaker 1: had mantras, and I found it, Oh God, so boring
Speaker 1: and irritating. I hated being dragged to temple to listen
Speaker 1: to a pre speak in sanskrita language I didn't even understand.
Speaker 1: So when I was nineteen, I gave up Hinduism. I
Speaker 1: decided the religion was not for me. I read a
Speaker 1: quote by Gandhi that said, I'm a Hindu and I'm
Speaker 1: a Muslim, and I'm a Christian, and I'm a Jew
Speaker 1: and I'm a Buddhist, and I thought that's it. I
Speaker 1: want to study and unite ideas from all of these
Speaker 1: different spiritual practices. And so that was my beginning. I
Speaker 1: got obsessed with spirituality. I started reading books by Esther Hicks,
Speaker 1: by Neil Donald Walsh, and I became particularly captivated by
Speaker 1: the spirituality that was emerging from the United States, from
Speaker 1: everyone from Paramahansa Yogananda, who was an Indian who crossed
Speaker 1: over over here, to Neil Donald Wals who especially Jose Silva.
Speaker 1: Now a lot of them spoke about spirituality. What made
Speaker 1: Jose Silva's work different was that he broke it down
Speaker 1: into actionable steps, and that's what fascinated me more so.
Speaker 1: A lot of people spoke about meditation, about sitting still,
Speaker 1: about going within. Jose Silver would teach the method you're
Speaker 1: going to do, this method to reduce your brain wave
Speaker 1: frequency to the alpha level, this method together down to
Speaker 1: the data level, this method of positioning your eyes to
Speaker 1: activate alpha frequency in your brain, this method to reprogram
Speaker 1: your subconscious, this method to manifest a goal, this method
Speaker 1: to do healing. And that structured approach captivated me. Now
Speaker 1: we call that active meditation. That's the word Jose Silver
Speaker 1: use or show use the same word active meditation. This
Speaker 1: means it's different from passive meditation, which was more than
Speaker 1: meditation from Hinduism, from Eastern cultures, where you focus on
Speaker 1: your breadth or you go within, and there's a usefulness
Speaker 1: in that. But what I loved about active meditation is,
Speaker 1: in the words of jose Silver, you use it to
Speaker 1: solve problems. You do not push your problems away. You
Speaker 1: turn your problems into a project. You have skin disease,
Speaker 1: You're going to heal it. You need to achieve a
Speaker 1: business goal, You're going to make it happen. And you
Speaker 1: would apply different tools to solve these problems. Now, when
Speaker 1: I was in Silicon Valley, I applied the Silver method
Speaker 1: and it completely transformed my career. I was able to
Speaker 1: hold down two jobs. I got promotion after promotion after promotion.
Speaker 1: At the age of twenty six, I was vice president
Speaker 1: of a booming dot com and I was meditating using
Speaker 1: the Silver method and other practices I would combine with it,
Speaker 1: and one day I certainly had a calling. I realized
Speaker 1: that meditation was the most powerful thing I'd learned in life.
Speaker 1: It was the reason why I was successful at my career.
Speaker 1: Yet my university degree for which I paid almost a
Speaker 1: quarter million dollars for taught me Jack. It wasn't really
Speaker 1: helping me. So I decided I wanted to do something
Speaker 1: that could help the world. I decided to quit and
Speaker 1: become a meditation teacher. Now, as I started becoming a
Speaker 1: meditation teacher, as I started compiling all of these methods,
Speaker 1: I needed something for myself, and I look at meditation
Speaker 1: from as a tool. Okay, so a lot of people say,
Speaker 1: all right, meditation as a form of self awareness of prayer. Yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: But meditation is also a tool. The point of meditation,
Speaker 1: in the words of the great teacher Emily Fletcher, is
Speaker 1: not to get good at meditation. It is to get
Speaker 1: good at life. And so I use two different types
Speaker 1: of tools. Now, let's think about our home. We have
Speaker 1: coffee makers and we have electric drills. We use a
Speaker 1: coffee maker every single day or a teakettle every single
Speaker 1: day to put ourselves in a good state to start
Speaker 1: our morning. An electric drill is a power tool. You
Speaker 1: don't use it every day. You use it when you
Speaker 1: have a problem, when you have to drill a hole
Speaker 1: in a wall or threaten someone. I guess so in meditation,
Speaker 1: the style that I teach. There are two types. You
Speaker 1: would use a power tool like the Silver method, which
Speaker 1: now sits on Mine Valley for a really tactical problem,
Speaker 1: for example healing right. The Silver method has been proven
Speaker 1: by doctor Okyl Simonton as a very effective form of
Speaker 1: imagery therapy for accelerating healing. You're sick, you want to
Speaker 1: do it. If you are suddenly feeling like you have
Speaker 1: a migraine, you want to use it to help reduce
Speaker 1: your migraine. The six phase is what I develop as
Speaker 1: not the electric drill, but the coffee maker, something you
Speaker 1: use every single day, even if your life is amazing.
Speaker 1: You use it every single day because it helps put
Speaker 1: you in a peak state for work, for happiness, for
Speaker 1: human connection, and it puts you in this beautiful state
Speaker 1: where it almost feels as if the universe has your
Speaker 1: back like you have. You know, the tink about fairy
Speaker 1: following you around, blessing everything you do and making your
Speaker 1: life magical. This is how I view meditation. It's an
Speaker 1: active approach to tackle the most complex problems in life,
Speaker 1: but also as a daily approach to put you in
Speaker 1: peak states of humanness. This is why I love talking
Speaker 1: to you, because I love that explanation, and I think
Speaker 1: that that breakdown of how meditation can be used differently
Speaker 1: for different challenges is fantastic, and I love the analogy
Speaker 1: with that with the teacatter will go with and the drill,
Speaker 1: because I do think you're right that we've made meditation
Speaker 1: well you just said is about becoming good at meditation,
Speaker 1: which is absolutely irrelevant to life. And with the six
Speaker 1: Phase method. What I love about it is that you
Speaker 1: have the same thing that you loved about how the
Speaker 1: Silver Method taught it. You've figured out your own method
Speaker 1: that people can take now in this book. When you
Speaker 1: talk about this is where I want to get into
Speaker 1: some of this, and everyone who's watching and listening back
Speaker 1: at home or wherever you are, I'm only going to
Speaker 1: be giving you a tip of the iceberg. But I
Speaker 1: want to give you this insight because my hope and
Speaker 1: goal and intention is that you will go and order
Speaker 1: the book right now while we're having this conversation to
Speaker 1: really dive deep into it. But I want to give
Speaker 1: you just enough to recognize how practical it is. So
Speaker 1: you talk about how we need to start with the
Speaker 1: circle of love and compassion. When I hear the word compassion,
Speaker 1: and I think when a lot of people do compassion
Speaker 1: feels like a tall order because I feel like it's
Speaker 1: been removed. I think before compassion, we think of criticism,
Speaker 1: We think of complaining, think of comparing, like those are
Speaker 1: more natural thoughts. Can you talk to me about how
Speaker 1: you had this epiphany that compassion was a beginning when
Speaker 1: often our beginning places criticism, complaining, or comparison. So compassion
Speaker 1: is not something you do for other people, that's a
Speaker 1: great side effect. Compassion is something you do for yourself.
Speaker 1: It changes the way you function and show up in
Speaker 1: the world. So there's a lot of signs right now
Speaker 1: on compassion practices that derive from Zen Roshi, Buddhism, or
Speaker 1: even from the Heartmat Institute. For example, the Heartmat Institute
Speaker 1: found that if you just close your eyes and you
Speaker 1: see the face of someone you love, you see the eyes,
Speaker 1: you see the uns, you feel that love for them,
Speaker 1: You feel it in your heart area. It changes your
Speaker 1: heart resonance, and your heart resonance is a biomarker of health.
Speaker 1: In short, giving love to someone else instantly physiologically changes
Speaker 1: the heartbeat that you're having and puts it in a
Speaker 1: better state. That shows that your body is in a
Speaker 1: healthy heart residence correlates with health and I found this fascinating.
Speaker 1: That is how we start the sixth space. Then we
Speaker 1: move to a more advanced compassion practice where we extend
Speaker 1: love across the world. Not if we start with our family,
Speaker 1: our neighborhood, a city, a country, and then globally. Now
Speaker 1: why is this important? Compassion is like a muscle. You
Speaker 1: can train it and when you train it, you become
Speaker 1: more loving. If you think about all the great saints
Speaker 1: and sages and mystic compassion and love was a key
Speaker 1: part of who they are, whether it's Yogananda or Jesus,
Speaker 1: it was compassion and love. But this is how it
Speaker 1: shows up in your world. Right. So I remember after
Speaker 1: the pandemic, I went for breakfast with a friend. All
Speaker 1: the restaurants have been closed for three months, and finally
Speaker 1: that weekend everything opens and so we are waiting in
Speaker 1: line for around twenty forty minutes to get in. Finally
Speaker 1: we get in. It's really busy, so they can only
Speaker 1: see this at the bar and all I'm creating is coffee,
Speaker 1: eggs and some in a side of avocado. So I
Speaker 1: ordered my coffee and twenty minutes later, the waitress hasn't
Speaker 1: brought the coffee. The waitress is currying around. There's a
Speaker 1: lot of people over there. She's wearing a mask, and
Speaker 1: she left the coffee on the bar and I can
Speaker 1: see it, and it's twenty minutes. I can't get her attention.
Speaker 1: Finally she brings me the coffee, just puts it down,
Speaker 1: doesn't even say anything, and it's gone cold. So I
Speaker 1: have to order another coffee. That other coffee comes ten
Speaker 1: minutes later. Then my omelet comes forty minutes later. They
Speaker 1: forgot the avocado and all of this chaos. Now at
Speaker 1: the end of that, as I was tipping the waitress,
Speaker 1: I still had a smile on my face and I
Speaker 1: gave a tip worth fifty percent of the entire bill.
Speaker 1: So my friend looked at me and goes, what are
Speaker 1: you doing? Like the service here was horrible. She doesn't
Speaker 1: deserve fifty percent, And I said, really, well, I thought
Speaker 1: she did, And I explained it to my friend as
Speaker 1: it look it's all how we see it. To me,
Speaker 1: I'm just happy to be here, to be able to
Speaker 1: eat outdoors again. It doesn't matter we had to wait
Speaker 1: twenty minutes in line. It was just nice being able
Speaker 1: to step into a restaurant after three months. That waitress
Speaker 1: she's been running around with a mask on herself for gosh,
Speaker 1: maybe twelve hours. Look at the line. She's not even
Speaker 1: getting a break, and probably for the last three months
Speaker 1: she didn't have a job. She's probably worried about how
Speaker 1: to put food on the table. And that's why I
Speaker 1: gave her a fifty percent tip. I don't care if
Speaker 1: my coffee was cold or my avocado came late. That
Speaker 1: didn't even register for me. Rather, I was in a
Speaker 1: state of appreciation of love, of, or at the humanity
Speaker 1: around me, even if it was a little bit messy.
Speaker 1: Compassion had put me in that zone when you see
Speaker 1: someone else, even if it seems like what they did
Speaker 1: is wrong to you, you look at them with a
Speaker 1: sense of empathy, with a sense of understanding. And it
Speaker 1: is that understanding that changes and reframes your definition of
Speaker 1: the world. So I'm not saying due compassion so you
Speaker 1: become a better tipper. I'm saying due compassion because the
Speaker 1: world becomes a more beautiful, a life connected place, and
Speaker 1: your life becomes more peaceful. Now the side effect is
Speaker 1: everyone you come in contact with you bring happiness into
Speaker 1: their lives and the world needs that today. What I
Speaker 1: love about that example is that it shows something in
Speaker 1: a personal way that we all experience. And it's so
Speaker 1: fascinating because I've been experimenting with something similar in a
Speaker 1: professional setting. So a lot of people would say, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: you can do that, you know, with a waiter or
Speaker 1: a waitress at a store. But then what about someone
Speaker 1: in your workplace? And I realized that if you go
Speaker 1: hard on people and people experience this. I think we've
Speaker 1: all had experiences it. We've all had bosses who are
Speaker 1: hard on us. And I've found that when my bosses
Speaker 1: were hard with me, it closed me off. It didn't
Speaker 1: open me up. Whereas if someone checked in with me
Speaker 1: and said, hey, Jay, you look like you're struggling a bit.
Speaker 1: Is everything okay at home? Like is your family okay?
Speaker 1: Like how things going? You don't have to tell me,
Speaker 1: but if you feel like telling me, let me know.
Speaker 1: That allowed me to have a safe space and want
Speaker 1: to deliver more for that person, as opposed to if
Speaker 1: that person came up to me and goes, I'm not
Speaker 1: really happy with your performance right now. Like hearing that
Speaker 1: from someone didn't open someone up and so even your
Speaker 1: same approach in a professional setting still works and applies
Speaker 1: that when you approach someone or someone approaches you and
Speaker 1: just says, hey, I can tell that you're dealing with
Speaker 1: a few issues or something must be going on. Do
Speaker 1: you feel like telling me? I think that compassion is
Speaker 1: such a superpower and it's so underestimated. Where did we
Speaker 1: lose that? Where do we go wrong? I think we
Speaker 1: underestimate it because for the longest time in society, we
Speaker 1: thought kindness is associated with weakness, strength, power, Even to
Speaker 1: put power over someone else was a sign of strength.
Speaker 1: With the dab, we know that's not true. There was
Speaker 1: a Gallop study done on two ten million employees and
Speaker 1: they found that the employees who loved their jobs more,
Speaker 1: who were most engaged, who were most productive, who had
Speaker 1: one of the highest correlations with revenue growth, answered yes
Speaker 1: to the following question. My supervisor or someone at work
Speaker 1: cared about me as a person. Wow, and that's compassion. Now,
Speaker 1: I remember a funny story about you, so I remember me. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that shows how compassionate you. So I want to share
Speaker 1: this with the audience. We were having dinner at mind
Speaker 1: Dali's Festival, a fest this was that festival in Nibita
Speaker 1: and you disappeared to use the restroom. Oh yeah, and
Speaker 1: then we never saw you for two hours. So imagine
Speaker 1: you're having dinner with someone. They about six people in
Speaker 1: the dinner table, and that person goes, I have to
Speaker 1: go use the restroom. Two hours later, he hasn't come back,
Speaker 1: and so you're thinking, gosh, what a jerk. If he
Speaker 1: was bought by my company, he should have just said Vision,
Speaker 1: I'm going to go to sleep. He had to make
Speaker 1: that restroom excuse. So I was mildly annoyed by you,
Speaker 1: and then I realized what happened. Jay went to use
Speaker 1: the restroom, and as you were coming out of the restroom,
Speaker 1: one by one people were coming out to take photos
Speaker 1: with you or you for advice. And you stood there
Speaker 1: for almost two hours talking to everyone, taking photos, giving
Speaker 1: them the advice they needed, and then you were so
Speaker 1: tired you went to sleep. That's compassion. And see you
Speaker 1: may have done that almost just organically, but I never
Speaker 1: forget that, and that put you at hero status in
Speaker 1: my mind. No, well, I honestly have to say it's
Speaker 1: it's because you attract the best people like the culture
Speaker 1: and community of the quality of individual that comes to
Speaker 1: mind Valley Events is really special. And you know, I
Speaker 1: know that I know so many A fests in my
Speaker 1: personal life as well, like Irvin who's one of my
Speaker 1: closest friends, Irvin Valencia e And it's like he's been
Speaker 1: an eighth I think he's like, I don't know how
Speaker 1: many A fests he's been to, maybe like nine or something.
Speaker 1: I don't know, he's been to a lot. I think
Speaker 1: he's the help director for the New York Knicks. Yeah, absolutely,
Speaker 1: absolutely is the director of training and conditioning at the Knicks.
Speaker 1: And it's just like he's the embodiment of everything we're
Speaker 1: talking about in a beautiful way. And I think I
Speaker 1: did that because of the quality of the people you
Speaker 1: are tract But I appreciate you remembering these things. Obviously,
Speaker 1: meditation is your good memor. So I say that because
Speaker 1: compassion today, kindness is the ultimate flex. I remember fifteen
Speaker 1: years ago, when people wanted to sell you stuff on
Speaker 1: the internet, do this to make money, do this to
Speaker 1: build a business. They would post with their Lamborghini or
Speaker 1: the car. Today, nobody gives a damn to day. The
Speaker 1: stuff that we share on Instagram out very often inspirational stories,
Speaker 1: people doing kind acts, people saving animals, people doing great
Speaker 1: things for kids. Compassion is to flex in today's society.
Speaker 1: What is the difference between a technique and a pure
Speaker 1: intention in the sense of we know each other well,
Speaker 1: and I know that you've meditated for god knows how
Speaker 1: many years now, and I know how much study you've done,
Speaker 1: and how many incredible people use this method, like so
Speaker 1: many celebrities and athletes use this method. What have you
Speaker 1: found to be the difference between someone who uses compassion
Speaker 1: as a technique to get what they want or to
Speaker 1: present themselves a certain way versus what is the difference
Speaker 1: in result and practice in someone who's doing it from
Speaker 1: a pure place. I'm just fascinating absolutely, Okay, So the
Speaker 1: technique is not compassion. The technique is the circle of compassion,
Speaker 1: which is the specific exercise we do inspired by Zen
Speaker 1: Roshi Buddhism and the Heart Meat Institute to expand and
Speaker 1: open your heart. Right, So that is the technique. The
Speaker 1: compassion itself is a quality of being. So the six
Speaker 1: space is six specific techniques that layer on top of
Speaker 1: each other, that open up six different aspects of your being,
Speaker 1: which I believe are really important for you to show
Speaker 1: up in the world not just as a good human being,
Speaker 1: but to crush it at work, to hit your goals,
Speaker 1: to get things done, and to do it from this
Speaker 1: state of just absolute bliss and equanimity. The point is
Speaker 1: you're making is that you can't even use compassion for
Speaker 1: lower means or lower requirements, because that's fake kindness. Right,
Speaker 1: You're doing something to get something, But thee think that
Speaker 1: we are doing actually trains your brain to understand how
Speaker 1: deeply connected you are. If you do this, you automatically
Speaker 1: become nicer. So, yeah, you're talking about the actual change
Speaker 1: in consciousness and like transforming your character as opposed to
Speaker 1: like what we're saying, like I'm talking about marketing versus meaning,
Speaker 1: like the idea of like, oh I can market this
Speaker 1: stuff versus this actually makes sense. There was one thing
Speaker 1: specific I wanted to ask you talk about happiness and gratitude.
Speaker 1: I wanted to ask you your take on after all
Speaker 1: these years, you've helped so many teachers share their work.
Speaker 1: You've helped so many like that's one of the most
Speaker 1: special things about you that I appreciate about you is
Speaker 1: that you're not just presenting what you know you're supporting
Speaker 1: the work of so many other incredible people, and you've
Speaker 1: supported mine too. You know you've supported me too in
Speaker 1: such a deep and beautiful way. And what I'm intrigued by, though,
Speaker 1: is out of all the reading you've done, all the
Speaker 1: studying you've done, what is happiness? Is happiness in your eyes?
Speaker 1: Still a goal? Is a pursuit? Is it a by?
Speaker 1: What is happiness? Because I feel like we still don't know.
Speaker 1: We still hear people talking about I just want to
Speaker 1: be happy. Well, my goal is to be happy. What's
Speaker 1: visions take on that? So happiness is not the goal
Speaker 1: at all. In fact, happiness is not even what we
Speaker 1: care about. What we're looking at is a concept called
Speaker 1: bliss siplin. Bliss siplin is not being happy. It's not
Speaker 1: forcing yourself to be happy. Look, I am a person
Speaker 1: who can be prone to depression. It's actually in my
Speaker 1: DNA wo right, you can measure these things now with DNA,
Speaker 1: and I've been in depression in my life. I'm also
Speaker 1: a person who is prone to melancholy. Melancholy is when
Speaker 1: I want to when it Typically it happens when it's raining,
Speaker 1: I want to sit by the fire, listen to sad
Speaker 1: music and just be by myself. And I like that.
Speaker 1: I'm not happy. I'm neither am I sad or depressed.
Speaker 1: I'm just melancholy and it's a beautiful feeling and we
Speaker 1: all feel that sometimes. If you've ever seen to pick
Speaker 1: some movie inside out, it shows that sadness can be
Speaker 1: a superpower. You can be sad when you miss someone,
Speaker 1: you can be sad when you're grieving. There's a beautiful
Speaker 1: quote from the Disney show Wanda Vision, what is grief
Speaker 1: that love persisting? The goal is and to push away sadness, rather,
Speaker 1: the goal isness. Is to remember this when we are
Speaker 1: showing up with people, when we are showing up at work.
Speaker 1: The thing that matters is the concept of blisscipline, and
Speaker 1: that is having the discipline to ensure that you are
Speaker 1: you are nurturing your positive emotions. Now, positive emotions doesn't
Speaker 1: mean you're fake happy. Positive emotions mean that even if
Speaker 1: you're sad, you can observe it. Like, I love that quote,
Speaker 1: what is grief but love persisting? Because if you're grieving someone,
Speaker 1: that's a beautiful emotion. You can grieve someone who has
Speaker 1: left your life, but you're not beating yourself out of it,
Speaker 1: So you're still in a way blissful. Now why is
Speaker 1: this important. There's a study call PQ and there's a
Speaker 1: book about it by Shaja Shahmin, and PQ means positivity quotation.
Speaker 1: It's your ratio of good thoughts versus overall thoughts. Now,
Speaker 1: what they find is that the higher your PQ, the
Speaker 1: better you function at your job. The better you function
Speaker 1: at your work. We spend seventy percent of our work,
Speaker 1: of our waking hours on our work. And so if
Speaker 1: we can practice blisscipline and elevate our PQ, we get
Speaker 1: more done, We are happier as we work, the quality
Speaker 1: of our work is better. But you know, the studies
Speaker 1: on PQ fascinate me. They found that the number one
Speaker 1: thing that determines how well a team functions is their
Speaker 1: PQ is what is the ratio of positive emotions within
Speaker 1: the team and between the members of this team. And
Speaker 1: so if we can train for bliss scipline, if we
Speaker 1: can put ourselves in these blissful states, we simply do better. Now.
Speaker 1: One of the most beautiful things I read was in
Speaker 1: the book Titan. It's the biography of John D. Rockefeller.
Speaker 1: He was the richest man whoever lived, and at the
Speaker 1: age of eighty three, John D. Reckefeller wrote a beautiful
Speaker 1: poem that illustrates this idea of blissipline. He said, I
Speaker 1: was early thought to work as well as play. My
Speaker 1: life has been one long, happy holiday, full of work,
Speaker 1: full of play, and I left the worry along the way,
Speaker 1: and God was good to me every day. And that's
Speaker 1: really what we're talking about now. If the richest man
Speaker 1: in the world could pen that, imagine what this quality,
Speaker 1: what this essence can do for you. It's amazing, isn't it.
Speaker 1: How what we read or what we think about become
Speaker 1: the scripts of our life. And I feel just as
Speaker 1: you're according people that have inspired you. I feel like
Speaker 1: for me, half the thoughts in my head. I think
Speaker 1: I've things I've absorbed and held on to that then
Speaker 1: create my story in my script. I didn't know what
Speaker 1: you just said about you. That's actually such interesting news
Speaker 1: to me. I don't think we've ever spoken about that.
Speaker 1: I loved how you talked about how melancholy isn't happiness,
Speaker 1: isn't sadness, but you enjoy that feeling. I feel the
Speaker 1: same way about solitude of spending time alone like I
Speaker 1: often look forward to spending time alone. I try and
Speaker 1: make time to spend alone. I'll often choose being alone
Speaker 1: as opposed to doing something else. And that's not because
Speaker 1: I'm happy or ecstatic about it or I'm not sad
Speaker 1: about it. It just brings me joy. But what I
Speaker 1: didn't know about you was this bend you said towards
Speaker 1: depression or depressive thoughts. And I want to go there.
Speaker 1: What has been the most depressing state that you've been
Speaker 1: in that the six meditation method and other methods that
Speaker 1: you practice and even teach today have helped you out
Speaker 1: of what has been that point. So so first you
Speaker 1: got to understand face one, compassion, Phase two, gratitude, Face three, forgiveness.
Speaker 1: All of these qualities have been scientifically proven to lower
Speaker 1: risk of depression and lower situations where you're feeling anxious
Speaker 1: or panic. But I have gone true depression in my life.
Speaker 1: I have gone moments where I was profoundly sad. That
Speaker 1: hasn't happened much in the past decade or so, part
Speaker 1: of the reasons because of the sixth face. But it
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that I don't get sad. All of us
Speaker 1: are going to go through troubles in life. I miss people. Yesterday,
Speaker 1: I was sad because it was my son's birthday, he
Speaker 1: turned fifteen, and I couldn't be with him because I
Speaker 1: was doing a big event in la and my son
Speaker 1: lives in Estonia in Europe. And there's nothing wrong with
Speaker 1: being sad about that, right, but true, that's sadness I
Speaker 1: left him. I think one of the most beautiful voice
Speaker 1: mails i've ever less my son about how much I
Speaker 1: love him. So you can channel sadness love into compassion,
Speaker 1: into vulnerability and help you connect with yourself and other people. Yeah,
Speaker 1: how do you stop sadness from developing into guilt? Because
Speaker 1: I find that you could have easily gone the other way.
Speaker 1: You could have been like, all right, I'm sad that
Speaker 1: I'm not with my son on my birthday. I'm a
Speaker 1: terrible dad, which I know you're not, but you could
Speaker 1: say I'm a terrible dad, and people do feel this way.
Speaker 1: I'm a terrible dad. I care more about my work,
Speaker 1: by my actions, than I do about my son. Someone could,
Speaker 1: I'm saying, would think of this story. They could think
Speaker 1: I should have flown back and should have been there.
Speaker 1: So these are these are the things that I hear
Speaker 1: from parents all the time exactly right. So this past
Speaker 1: four weeks, I'm in a four week book to our
Speaker 1: right now, this is the longest I've been away from
Speaker 1: my kids. But the reasons so I get that, and
Speaker 1: I've never been traveled this much away from them because
Speaker 1: of that guilt. But I realized that was silly. I
Speaker 1: know that I'm deeply connected to my children. I've learned
Speaker 1: since then that it's not about being with them all
Speaker 1: the time. It's about when you're with them, how do
Speaker 1: you feel with them and how do you make them feel?
Speaker 1: But how do I overcome that guilt? Well, that's where
Speaker 1: Phase three comes in. Guilt is one of the lowest
Speaker 1: human emotions, guilt and shame from a consciousness vibration point
Speaker 1: of view. If you look at the hawk and scale
Speaker 1: right at the bottom, guilt and shame, you don't want
Speaker 1: to get there. Phase three is about healing from guilt
Speaker 1: and shame. So when you practice forgiveness, and in the
Speaker 1: sixth phase, we teach you a eight step forgiveness protocol
Speaker 1: that you stick right in. You forgive yourself for mistakes
Speaker 1: made in the past. You forgive yourself for things that
Speaker 1: you may feel shameful for or guilty for but you
Speaker 1: also learn to heal and forgive the acts of others.
Speaker 1: It turns out if you want to develop the brainwave
Speaker 1: of the monks. So they've actually measured the brainwave states
Speaker 1: of monks and eurro monks. So I bet you there
Speaker 1: as well. So monks have high left right brain coherence
Speaker 1: that means you're left and right brain are kind of
Speaker 1: vibing at the same level, and high alpha amplitude. So
Speaker 1: they found this in zen Roshi monks who have spent
Speaker 1: twenty to forty years in meditation. So at the biocyber
Speaker 1: Aud Institute in Vancouver, where they mapped the brain made
Speaker 1: states of monks, they found that these were the two
Speaker 1: qualities that you want to create. But how do you
Speaker 1: get that well? Forgiveness. Forgiveness and forgiving people who you
Speaker 1: as well as forgiving mistakes that you made in the
Speaker 1: past is the number one hack to get you in
Speaker 1: that level. This is why forgiveness is space three because
Speaker 1: I've seen miracles happen through the practice of forgiveness. Forgiveness
Speaker 1: has been proven to not just improved back pain and
Speaker 1: your heart, help improve the quality of your sleep, reduced
Speaker 1: depression and anxiousness, A study show that it improves your
Speaker 1: vertical chump. Another study in Israel show that it improves
Speaker 1: your endurance. And for people who believe in manifesting, it's
Speaker 1: quite possible, because I've heard this from any spiritual teachers.
Speaker 1: It increases your rate of manifesting. That's why forgiveness is
Speaker 1: space three, because I practice forgiveness in a very rapid
Speaker 1: way every day, so each phase takes about two minutes
Speaker 1: of practice. I don't experience guilt, I don't experience shame.
Speaker 1: It doesn't mean I've never made mistakes. I just don't
Speaker 1: beat myself up over it because you understand that we're
Speaker 1: all human. I love that principle, and i'd say that
Speaker 1: that applies to marriage, that applies to work, it applies
Speaker 1: to ourselves. Like that idea. I always talk about how
Speaker 1: one of the things that's helped me and my wife
Speaker 1: massively in our marriage is that we're both wired to
Speaker 1: forgive overnight. Yes, and I've never met many people. I'm
Speaker 1: like that with nine percent of people. I'm me. I've
Speaker 1: been like that for a long time. But my wife's
Speaker 1: like that too, and that's really helped because then I
Speaker 1: don't wake up in the morning and look at her
Speaker 1: and go, oh god, she's still judging me for the
Speaker 1: mistake I made last night. We've both moved on, and
Speaker 1: so mirroring that habit is really powerful. But the two
Speaker 1: ends of the spectrum are narcissism of like you know,
Speaker 1: like letting go of all mistakes, which I know that's
Speaker 1: not what you're recommending. And then the other thing, like
Speaker 1: you're saying, is self sabotage and beating yourself up forever.
Speaker 1: And you have these two polar opposites, and I think
Speaker 1: people get so scared that they're doing one or the
Speaker 1: other that they kind of avoid it. What is the
Speaker 1: process to get to the forgiveness you're talking about where
Speaker 1: you can allow yourself to move on. So narcissism is
Speaker 1: self love without love for others. That's why we start
Speaker 1: with compassion. When you start with compassion, you are training
Speaker 1: your love for others. When we come to gratitude and forgiveness,
Speaker 1: you're actually training your love for yourself. In the gratitude phase,
Speaker 1: you don't just express gratitude for three things in your
Speaker 1: work or three things in your personal life. You express
Speaker 1: gratit for what you love about yourself. And that's because
Speaker 1: why shouldn't we The world doesn't tell us to love
Speaker 1: ourselves since we are kids, our education system, the people
Speaker 1: around us point out our flaws. Most people don't have
Speaker 1: a problem with self love. They have a problem with
Speaker 1: self pity, self loading, with not enough self love. Now,
Speaker 1: when you come to the forgiftness stage, you further amplify
Speaker 1: your love for yourself. But remember you're doing these phases
Speaker 1: after you express love for everyone else. Compassion first, then
Speaker 1: gratitude and forgiveness, and this is how you avoid narcissistic tendencies.
Speaker 1: I think it's become more and more challenging because I
Speaker 1: think the rise of narcissistic personalities and the challenge that
Speaker 1: people are experiencing in their relationships is just on such
Speaker 1: a high. I feel like it's one of the most
Speaker 1: talked about things right now, And I guess that also
Speaker 1: stems from that feeling of like we never got a
Speaker 1: chance to love each other so almost now where going
Speaker 1: in that direction with step for a vision for the future.
Speaker 1: This step is for some people a hard step because
Speaker 1: the future is usually a place of anxiety. Right for
Speaker 1: most people, the future is the place of uncertainty of anxiety. Obviously,
Speaker 1: you've done these three steps to remove anxiety, et cetera.
Speaker 1: That's where it's a perfect build up. I've heard so
Speaker 1: many versions of what a good vision for the future is.
Speaker 1: Some people say you should know exactly what you want.
Speaker 1: Some people say you should have an overall vision. What
Speaker 1: is the six phase version of So when you finished
Speaker 1: phase three and you move to phase four, you're moving
Speaker 1: into a different essence of being. My last book was
Speaker 1: called The Buddha and the Badass, and that title came
Speaker 1: from an essay by the great philosopher Ken Wilbur. And
Speaker 1: that essay was called Egolessness, and it starts like this.
Speaker 1: The great spiritual sages and saints of the world, from
Speaker 1: Moses to Jesus to partner Sambaba, were not feeble minded
Speaker 1: milktoas they will move us and shakers who rattled the
Speaker 1: world with the force of their ego. From they instigated
Speaker 1: massive social revolutions that lasted generations, from bull whips in
Speaker 1: the temple to subduing entire continents. Now, what Ken Wilber
Speaker 1: was saying is that the great spiritual teachers were not
Speaker 1: just focused on the now, they were focused on the future.
Speaker 1: Jesus wanted to build a legacy Buddha preached because Buddha
Speaker 1: wanted to change the institutions of that time, the way
Speaker 1: the rich and the poor were. Moses wanted to free
Speaker 1: his people. Mohammad wanted to conquer and spread Islam to
Speaker 1: the world. Paramahansa Yogananda came to America to spread the
Speaker 1: wisdom of India. All of these people had a vision
Speaker 1: for a future they wanted to create, and that's really important.
Speaker 1: Mother Teresa wanted to feed millions of people. So if
Speaker 1: you really want to practice your spiritualness, you can't just
Speaker 1: be sitting on your meditation cushion. You got to have
Speaker 1: a vision for the future. That's what phase for us
Speaker 1: about now. To answer your question, how much should you
Speaker 1: be specific? How much should you be unspecific? Well, it
Speaker 1: depends on what you're manifesting. So now we can get
Speaker 1: into a little bit deeper spiritual ideas. My friend Marie Diamond,
Speaker 1: who was a brilliant spiritual teacher from Belgium and someone
Speaker 1: I train with Maurice, says that what we manifest in
Speaker 1: the world comes from three different parts of our being.
Speaker 1: There resigned tension, which is what we desire, but that's
Speaker 1: only one third. Then there is a destiny, which is
Speaker 1: what our soul wants to experience. That's one third. And
Speaker 1: then the third piece is the energy of the world
Speaker 1: around us, our home, you know, the Chinese called this functua.
Speaker 1: The people group, consciousness, our culture, our society. It's all
Speaker 1: three of these. So if you think of manifesting, you're
Speaker 1: a car going down a highway. Okay, that's your life.
Speaker 1: All of us have a destiny. And in a spiritual
Speaker 1: teacher explained this to me. He said, vision, you can't
Speaker 1: go for the exit ram. You're on one highway. Your
Speaker 1: highway is to spread consciousness, true education. You can't go
Speaker 1: on that exit ram and go into a different direction.
Speaker 1: That's your highway. And I've noticed this about my life.
Speaker 1: Every adventure I've tried outside this zone of spreading wisdom
Speaker 1: and consciousness fails. It just becomes unnecessarily hard. If I
Speaker 1: stick on my highway, I go super fast. So that
Speaker 1: highway is the destiny. Within that highway, you can change lanes,
Speaker 1: that's your intention. You can change lanes. You can go faster,
Speaker 1: you can go slower, you can go left, you can
Speaker 1: go right. And then that's the quality of the traffic.
Speaker 1: Is it stuck? Is the traffic moving easily is the
Speaker 1: traffic congested. That's the group consciousness around you. So that's
Speaker 1: just an analogy to understand this. So when you're manifesting,
Speaker 1: all three of these pieces are coming together now in
Speaker 1: the sixth space. If you go deeper into the wisdom
Speaker 1: of how it's designed, the protocol is designed to take
Speaker 1: all three of these into account. But in phase for
Speaker 1: what you're doing is you're playing with intention, intention, but
Speaker 1: also leaving things open for the universe to bring you.
Speaker 1: For example, if you want to meet your soulmate, you
Speaker 1: don't want to get super specific because what if your
Speaker 1: soulmate is in a different age or a different body
Speaker 1: type than what you think you want. Michael Beckwitt, the
Speaker 1: spiritual teacher, calls this mature versus immature. One. Immature wanting is, oh,
Speaker 1: I want I only want to be with someone who
Speaker 1: is tall and blond and blue eyed. That's what maybe
Speaker 1: society or what you read in a magazine influenced you.
Speaker 1: Mature wanting is knowing that your soulmate may come to
Speaker 1: you in many different forms, and it's going to be
Speaker 1: an essence and energy that's going to spot that loving you. Likewise,
Speaker 1: when it comes to our mission vision. Sometimes we don't
Speaker 1: know what the universe has set fought for us. And
Speaker 1: so when you are practicing Phase four, the important thing
Speaker 1: that we ask people to keep in mind is to
Speaker 1: focus on the what and the why. That to park
Speaker 1: aside the how, the when, and the who. So that's
Speaker 1: advice from Esther Hicks. The what and the why. Don't
Speaker 1: worry about the when, When is it going to come?
Speaker 1: Who is going to bring me or who's going to
Speaker 1: be my soulmate or who's going to give me that job?
Speaker 1: And the how? How am I going to get that?
Speaker 1: How am I going to meet that? Persons to says,
Speaker 1: all of that ads resistance to that which we see
Speaker 1: to manifest. The what and the why add forward momentum.
Speaker 1: So you focus on that. I love that. Yeah, I've
Speaker 1: I've always realized that you'll get to where you want
Speaker 1: in life, just not in the way you imagine this. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And the problem is we have this projection and imagination
Speaker 1: of how the path should look right, not why we
Speaker 1: want it or where we're going right, and our paths change,
Speaker 1: we pierce different circles of purpose. You will once a
Speaker 1: monk and then you became a storyteller, and then now
Speaker 1: you have this incredible podcast, and now you're launching a
Speaker 1: tea company. You've pierced different circles of purpose with your
Speaker 1: purpose to help the world getting bigger and bigger each time,
Speaker 1: and all of us are going to go through that.
Speaker 1: We are not one thing. Yeah, And I love that
Speaker 1: idea because I think for me, when we create and
Speaker 1: associate with identities early in our lives, it becomes harder
Speaker 1: and harder to shake them. So I became a monk
Speaker 1: from age round twenty one twenty two for three years,
Speaker 1: and that was a young time to create a very distinct,
Speaker 1: specific identity and shaking it off took a lot of
Speaker 1: effort to allow myself to keep the parts that were
Speaker 1: still me, but then to accept the new parts that
Speaker 1: were parts that maybe I'd negated or neglected, and to
Speaker 1: rebecome and to evolve took so much effort. And even now,
Speaker 1: like I find allowing yourself to become new things it's
Speaker 1: probably one of the biggest challenges in the world because
Speaker 1: most of us are like, oh, I've always been an accountant,
Speaker 1: I've always been a lawyer, I've always been a doctor,
Speaker 1: and usually we just use our job titles to define it.
Speaker 1: And I was actually having this conversation with one of
Speaker 1: my team members earlier today. She was saying that before
Speaker 1: she worked with us, she had never worked on a
Speaker 1: book or a book tour, you know, and we work
Speaker 1: your mind right now. And I was like, that's what
Speaker 1: I love about it, Like, I don't care that you
Speaker 1: haven't done that. I'm interested in how you think and
Speaker 1: how you approach problems. And I'm intrigued by the fact
Speaker 1: that you don't know the rules of this industry. Like
Speaker 1: that excites me. How can people find the courage and
Speaker 1: strength to become new things and not feel held back
Speaker 1: by old things. One of the most most powerful practices
Speaker 1: I've found is the Lifebook protocol, and we talk about
Speaker 1: it in the book. So Lifebook is a goal setting
Speaker 1: protocol by John and Missi Pucher in the spirit of
Speaker 1: open this mind Value a quiet the company the majority
Speaker 1: stake in the company. We're now merging it with mind
Speaker 1: Value because we wanted I felt it's the best goal
Speaker 1: setting system in the world, and we wanted to integrate
Speaker 1: it with our education platform. Now. In Lifebook, one of
Speaker 1: the exercises you do is you look at your life
Speaker 1: from twelve different buckets. Right, your emotional life is one bucket,
Speaker 1: your financial life is one bucket, your character is one bucket.
Speaker 1: And already if you think about that, you find that
Speaker 1: most people tend to focus on just a few limiting buckets,
Speaker 1: to focus on goals for finance, goals for relationships, goals
Speaker 1: for work. But are we setting goals for the emotions
Speaker 1: we want to experience in a day to day basis
Speaker 1: an emotional mastery? Are we setting goals for the character
Speaker 1: how we want to show up as a man or
Speaker 1: woman in the world. Life Book makes you go deep.
Speaker 1: You really have to think about it, and at the
Speaker 1: end you end up with a hundred page vision for
Speaker 1: your life. Now within that hundred page vision, they are
Speaker 1: going to be things which are going to be unclear,
Speaker 1: and that's when the magic happens. So I remember when
Speaker 1: I was doing Lifebook in two ten, there was a
Speaker 1: particular category of the twelve categories called quality of life.
Speaker 1: And this is really where you put down your lifestyle,
Speaker 1: your home. And so I put down some really crazy
Speaker 1: things because they push you to dream big. I wasn't
Speaker 1: a speaker then, and I said I want to be
Speaker 1: speaking on stages around the world. I want a vacation
Speaker 1: in five style resorts around the world. I want inspiring friends.
Speaker 1: I want to go on trips with inspiring friends. I
Speaker 1: put down even some really light gold things. I want
Speaker 1: to win an Emmy or a Grammy or an Academy award, whatever. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what happened is ten months after doing life books, I
Speaker 1: certainly at this weird impulse. It came from my soul.
Speaker 1: Back then, I was running a dot com. I'd started
Speaker 1: the dot com, I'd raised two million dollars in venture
Speaker 1: capital money. It wasn't mind value. It was more like
Speaker 1: an e commerce play, like a group on clone for
Speaker 1: Southeast Asia. And I was feeling so dissatisfied. I realized
Speaker 1: I'd been chasing and immature wanting. I'd been chasing all
Speaker 1: of that stuff I was reading about in tech publications
Speaker 1: and thinking I wanted to be one of those entrepreneurs.
Speaker 1: But it wasn't for me, and so I gave up
Speaker 1: my shares. I quit that dot com, and then I
Speaker 1: needed to do something. This was twenty ten, and I thought,
Speaker 1: I want to learn surfing. What if I could get
Speaker 1: two hundred and fifty people to join me in a
Speaker 1: beach in Costa Rica, put on a little festival where
Speaker 1: we can all study surfing, maybe have some personal growth talks,
Speaker 1: and maybe really have some great bonding events at night.
Speaker 1: That random idear became a festival called afs Afst. That
Speaker 1: first festival sold out, it blew up, and then it
Speaker 1: continued growing and growing and growing, and within two years,
Speaker 1: everything I put in my life book came true. All
Speaker 1: of us sadden and I was speaking on stage. All
Speaker 1: of a sudden, I had all of these amazing people,
Speaker 1: Lisa Nichols, Chip Conley, all coming and speaking on stage
Speaker 1: with me. I had the inspiring friends. All of a sudden,
Speaker 1: I was staying in these five style resorts around the
Speaker 1: world hotels. We're giving me the presidential suite because I
Speaker 1: was bringing two hundred and fifty people to their property
Speaker 1: in Costa Rica, in Mexico. And the craziest thing was
Speaker 1: this I puttan. I wanted to win an Emmy. While
Speaker 1: Nick Nanton, a film producer, came to one of our afest.
Speaker 1: He turned it into a documentary called Live Your Quest,
Speaker 1: and it won an Emmy. It won an Emmy, and
Speaker 1: I was the producer, And so all of these crazy
Speaker 1: goals came true. No where did I put I want
Speaker 1: to invent a festival. Rather I described the life I
Speaker 1: wanted to lead, the quality of life, and the idea
Speaker 1: came to me. And there's an important lesson here. Sometimes
Speaker 1: you don't want to put down the job, your business,
Speaker 1: your job, your career is nothing more than a vehicle
Speaker 1: for your growth and the life that you want to lead.
Speaker 1: Most people get more clear on the job I want
Speaker 1: to be a lawyer than they do on how they
Speaker 1: want to grow and the quality of the life they
Speaker 1: want to lead. Flip it around. You got to get
Speaker 1: really clear on the lifestyle. How many hours do you
Speaker 1: want to work, what do you want to do first
Speaker 1: thing in the morning, Who do you want to be with,
Speaker 1: how much time do you want to be able to
Speaker 1: spend with your kids? Who are your friends? Where do
Speaker 1: you want to live? Get clear on the quality of life,
Speaker 1: get clear on the values you want to have, and
Speaker 1: the ideal job will follow. Yeah, And I think that
Speaker 1: that getting clear on the quality of life, and then
Speaker 1: those steps that are there to make sure that you
Speaker 1: show that priority in a small way, like I find that,
Speaker 1: don't you find that everything that happened in a big
Speaker 1: way in your life was because at one point it
Speaker 1: was a small priority. Like I worked at a big
Speaker 1: consulting firm, and I would use all my vacation that
Speaker 1: I got to spend time with my spiritual teachers. This
Speaker 1: is after I left the monastery. I would spend all
Speaker 1: of it like, so I wouldn't take a vacation because
Speaker 1: I was like, my priority is to still learn, to
Speaker 1: still grow, to still think like a monk at this
Speaker 1: point in my life, even though I'm not a monk anymore.
Speaker 1: Because I was so scared of losing that deep important
Speaker 1: part of my life that I was like, all right,
Speaker 1: all the vacation, I get this one. I'm going to
Speaker 1: do with it. And now I'm so grateful that some
Speaker 1: of them will come live with me here, some of
Speaker 1: them I'll get to travel too. And but it's like,
Speaker 1: because at that time it was hard to make that
Speaker 1: a priority, I had to sacrifice in one sense that
Speaker 1: this is what I was using my vacation for. So
Speaker 1: what I'm interested in vission is what defines for you
Speaker 1: now a good meditation? What is a satisfying meditation? Because
Speaker 1: I think this is like a recurring challenge that all
Speaker 1: meditation and guides have is that people are like, well,
Speaker 1: did I do well? Like did I do good? Because
Speaker 1: we only know we don't. We've forgotten how to experience,
Speaker 1: we only know how to evaluate. That's what I've realized.
Speaker 1: The human mind has diminished in its ability to experience
Speaker 1: and increased in its ability to evaluate. And our evaluation
Speaker 1: is this was either good or this was bad, rather
Speaker 1: than this was my experience. So how do you define
Speaker 1: what a satisfying positive meditation is today? So I look
Speaker 1: at the six qualities of the six phase and at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, did these qualities express themselves
Speaker 1: in my life? Was I kind and compassionate today? So
Speaker 1: at the end of the night you can, basically before
Speaker 1: going to sleep, you can ask yourself these six questions,
Speaker 1: who did I help today? That relates to compassion. The
Speaker 1: second question is what was something that truly made me
Speaker 1: come alive that made me happy today? That relates to
Speaker 1: Phase two, which is on gratitude. The third one is
Speaker 1: what have I come to learn? And come to learn
Speaker 1: often relates to forgiveness true forgiveness. We often learn what
Speaker 1: is a new vision or a new desire that I
Speaker 1: saw today that I want to bring into my life.
Speaker 1: That comes from Phase four, which is vision for the future.
Speaker 1: Now Phase five is commanding your perfect day. So what
Speaker 1: you may ask at phase five is what was my
Speaker 1: favorite part of today? And then the final one, Phase
Speaker 1: six is a blessing. This is almost like a prayer.
Speaker 1: And at the end of the day, you might ask
Speaker 1: did I truly feel connected to God, to a higher power?
Speaker 1: Did I feel that the universe had my back? Today?
Speaker 1: And if you ask yourself those six questions, you know
Speaker 1: you had a good six phase meditation. So again that's
Speaker 1: just a lens I use. Yeah, No, I like that,
Speaker 1: And I think it's useful to have some sort of
Speaker 1: measuring stick because we all need to evaluate. But that's
Speaker 1: a healthy evaluation as opposed to I think just saying
Speaker 1: was it good or bad? Right, it's like irrelevant you
Speaker 1: went in a direction there which I was interested in.
Speaker 1: You're saying that the goal of meditation or the work
Speaker 1: that you've done, you found that life is about growth
Speaker 1: and the experience and the quality of life that you want.
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people define their destiny quite
Speaker 1: early on in life. How do you test the parameters
Speaker 1: of your destiny? So I think one of the things
Speaker 1: that I think is a useful tool is to want
Speaker 1: to stand the difference between means goals and end goals. Right.
Speaker 1: Very often, your destiny, the stuff that you're meant to
Speaker 1: be doing, is something that you would do if you
Speaker 1: would not have been getting paid for it. Very often
Speaker 1: we do the opposite. Think about the standard American system. Right,
Speaker 1: So you have people so that one of the most
Speaker 1: common jobs that Americans go into is law. And I'm
Speaker 1: not dishing on lawyers. I'm just using this as a
Speaker 1: really interesting thing because I used to work in the
Speaker 1: legal industry. I used to do a sell software to
Speaker 1: law firms twenty percenting years back. So America has five
Speaker 1: percent of the world's population, seventy percent of the world's lawyers. Why, well,
Speaker 1: maybe it shows like Ellie Law or Ellie mcveil in
Speaker 1: the nineteen nineties that glamorize law, and so so many
Speaker 1: Americans go into crazy amounts of study, crazy amounts of
Speaker 1: debt to become a lawyer, to pass the alstads, to
Speaker 1: join a good law firm. Then they are working crazy hours.
Speaker 1: But here's the thing. If you're a lawyer, you have
Speaker 1: a fifty percent statistical chance of suffering from clinical depression.
Speaker 1: It's crazy. So there's large number of Americans are going
Speaker 1: into a job that can make you depressed at an
Speaker 1: astonishing rate. But they do it why because they are
Speaker 1: following the herd. This is a classic example of immature wanting.
Speaker 1: You're wanting what everybody else wants, not what could truly
Speaker 1: resonate with your soul. And so the important thing is
Speaker 1: to really look at what would you do that even
Speaker 1: if you're not being paid. It's something that you would
Speaker 1: do anyway because it makes you come alive, and often
Speaker 1: that is the stepping stone to where your dream career
Speaker 1: could be. I was meditating, and I wanted to teach meditation,
Speaker 1: but I wanted to teach it because I was teaching
Speaker 1: it to my friends. I was teaching it to my
Speaker 1: cousins because I was so excited about it. I remember
Speaker 1: a teacher telling me you didn't never going to make
Speaker 1: money with that. You need to be an engineer. And
Speaker 1: I tried becoming an engineer. I was miserable, but with meditation,
Speaker 1: I built a massive, massive, massive company. I wrote hopefully
Speaker 1: my third New York Times bestseller because I was simply
Speaker 1: but I never did it for money. I was to
Speaker 1: it because it brought me joy. And if you look
Speaker 1: at so many of the most successful people in the world.
Speaker 1: They took what they did that brought them joy and
Speaker 1: they turned it into an incredible career. And that would
Speaker 1: be my advice to people, absolutely everyone. Vision Laciani the
Speaker 1: Six Phase Meditation Method makes you. You go and order
Speaker 1: your copy right now. The book breaks down how to
Speaker 1: practice each phase. I also want you to test it out,
Speaker 1: and I want you to tag me and Vision on Instagram,
Speaker 1: on TikTok, on Twitter, whatever platform you use, tag us
Speaker 1: and tell us what you learned, what you took away,
Speaker 1: what were the practical things that you're going to try.
Speaker 1: What was something new about meditation that you haven't learned before.
Speaker 1: I love seeing the nuggets of wisdom and the insights
Speaker 1: that you take away from these episodes. Vision. I'm going
Speaker 1: to ask you if there's anything else that you want
Speaker 1: to share that you haven't let you share this so
Speaker 1: you can get the book on Amazon, But if you
Speaker 1: get the book from mind valley dot com forward slash
Speaker 1: the letters six, there's this crazy bonus that you're going
Speaker 1: to get. Oh cool, okay, Like, even if you buy
Speaker 1: it from Amazon, you can get the bonus. Just go
Speaker 1: to mind valley dot com, forward slash to the letter six.
Speaker 1: Mind Valley has a meditation app with five hundred meditations, hypnotherapis,
Speaker 1: ambient sounds from all of these world class teachers. You
Speaker 1: get five hundred of those completely free, downloadable on your
Speaker 1: iPhone or your Android phone. When you get the book
Speaker 1: from mind valley dot com, forward slash to the letter
Speaker 1: six and it's only for this month. Okay, only for
Speaker 1: this month, so that's a great bonus. Vision, thank you
Speaker 1: so much for that. That's amazing. I hope that everyone's
Speaker 1: going to go try and test them out again. Please
Speaker 1: make sure you come back to on Purpose. I do
Speaker 1: want you to listen and read. I'm a big reader.
Speaker 1: I'm sure you can get the audiobook as well. Vision
Speaker 1: you read the audiobook, yes, so make sure you go
Speaker 1: and grab the audiobook if you're more of a listener.
Speaker 1: And thank you for being here on Purpose. I hope
Speaker 1: you're going follow Vision connect with all of his work.
Speaker 1: I subscribe to mind Value if you don't already, and
Speaker 1: we'll see you very very soon. Thank you everyone,