00:00:08 Speaker 1: And I invited you here. 00:00:13 Speaker 2: Thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no, guests, your own presence is presents enough. I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare to surbey me? 00:00:48 Speaker 1: Welcome to? 00:00:50 Speaker 3: I said, no gifts. I'm Bridger Wineker. We're not in the backyard. We're in the house. Because the backyard is if you've been listening for the last seven months, there's been some water issues and now there's some sort of construction happening back there. Will it fix the problem? Will it fix the problem? 00:01:14 Speaker 2: That no? 00:01:15 Speaker 3: I mean at this point, I simply don't believe anything will fix the problem. But let's move on. What else is going on. I may or may not have a dentist appointment tomorrow. That is really up in the air. The game my dentist is playing with me is wrong. 00:01:31 Speaker 1: I don't know. 00:01:31 Speaker 3: I've got to get in touch with doctor Rachel. We'll see what happens. Let's get into the podcast. Today's guest is so funny, so fantastic. It's Carrie Kenny Silver. Carrie, Oh, welcome to. 00:01:42 Speaker 1: I said, thank you for having me, and now I'm dying to know about the dentists. Now I'm going to be on the edge of my seat. Is it gonna happen? Is it not gonna happen? Air? If not? 00:01:53 Speaker 3: Why someone recently pointed out to me that all of the professionals in my life are bad. 00:02:00 Speaker 1: Okay, none of them. 00:02:01 Speaker 3: We need new people across the board. I need new professionals that people fixing the problems in the house don't do. The dentist is all over the place. This is the second dentist, and even this one is now an issue. 00:02:13 Speaker 1: Listen, I will tell you this is also just sort of being a grown up. Yeah, but nobody tells you that your life is basically about trying to find the people to make your life work. And then once you do find the people, sometimes they're not the right people. And then if you do find the right people, sometimes those people move or you move, or they got to find new people, or they die, or they or you die. Then, in which case it's all God settled. 00:02:42 Speaker 3: And what are really worrying anymore? How long have you been with your dentist? 00:02:47 Speaker 1: See, this is a great question. I'm it's a it's a rolodex of dentists and so recently I had this is so exciting, this is groundbreaking, and I'm sure people are gonna be like, thank God she's on because I was wondering what was going on with the crown on her lower left. 00:03:05 Speaker 3: I've been wondering. 00:03:06 Speaker 1: You've been wondering. Well, I'll tear to tell you. I started to get a new tooth. I needed a new tooth right, and I started the process. An implant is the right. 00:03:18 Speaker 3: Initially it sounded like you were growing another tooth. 00:03:21 Speaker 1: I tried to. I tried to. It didn't work out right, right, I did this whole YouTube thing. It was like certain or it didn't happen. So I started to go to my regular periodontist, and I started to not fully trust the process, Like it got weird, Like a couple of things happened that I was like, and listen, I'm good. If you're going to kind of mess up of sync in my it's like, it's a bummer, but it's not the end of the world. 00:03:47 Speaker 3: It's not inside my body. 00:03:48 Speaker 1: It's not inside my body. If it's a haircut, it didn't go great. But if you're digging into my innerds, I would like you to have a little bit of confidence, and I would like to have confidence in you. Yes, So I went to a different guy, said, now I'm all over the place. I got one person who does implants, I've got someone does cleaning. I've got someone does cavities, so I will Wow, this is the thing. You need to have other people show you their people. That's how you find your people. 00:04:15 Speaker 3: So you have separate dentists for cleaning and cavities. 00:04:18 Speaker 1: Apparently I do. It's incredible, but I'm not high mean again, this is because it's my innards I have. Yeah, right now I do, I really do well. 00:04:30 Speaker 3: I'll say this dentist clean. My first visit was last fall, and of course the listener is loving this. 00:04:35 Speaker 1: Dill love it. Well, they're still here. I'm sure they're still here. Is their friends right, they're out telling their friends or this is a great time to wrap up the nap. 00:04:48 Speaker 3: But I started going to this new dentist lust fall. They discovered cavities, and up until last fall, I was under the impression that cavities were kind of a pressing issue. That it was like, once they discovered, it's time to fill it in. 00:05:01 Speaker 1: They're not. 00:05:02 Speaker 3: They tell me I have like three cavities last October. They say, we can see you in February to fill the cavities. 00:05:08 Speaker 1: You need new people. 00:05:09 Speaker 3: In February they canceled on me. 00:05:11 Speaker 1: You need new people. Are you sure it was a dentist you went to. It's very unclear. I think it's clear that it was not. 00:05:19 Speaker 3: There was something that resembled an office, but it could be any sort of service. 00:05:23 Speaker 1: Sounds like a bit of a money laundering situation. They're like, yeah, no, no, we totally do dentistry and you need but listen, it can wait. 00:05:33 Speaker 3: They accepted cash or venmo. 00:05:34 Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, so I knew I could trust them. Come home with me, Just come home with me, I'll do it. 00:05:41 Speaker 3: At this point, truly, I brought mynd What were the red flags you were noticing with this guy that you were like, I'm done? 00:05:47 Speaker 1: Okay, this was a lady. And I feel bad because it was a lady, because of course sport are you want to support? And because she's possibly listening. But that's fine. Two things happened. My husband goes to her and came home with a horrible story of them having dropped the water thing on him. But it started like freaking out like a crazy hose and it sprayed him all over the place, and he's like, this is not instilling confidence. And then my last visit to her right after he went, she was like hurting me, but not on per like she was opened my mouth too wide and it was hurting and I was and I'm sort of trying to it was not ah good. 00:06:30 Speaker 3: Yeah, those are just base level things. 00:06:32 Speaker 1: These were base level things. This is what I'm saying. 00:06:35 Speaker 3: You don't want to drop the hose. 00:06:36 Speaker 1: You don't drop the hose. 00:06:38 Speaker 3: I've never heard of that before. 00:06:39 Speaker 1: And then the lady who works the front desk, it was a little she's not great at doing that. She's not great at doing that. So nobody was great at doing the things that they're supposed to be doing. And again, if it had been any other thing, maybe it would be okay, but it's not right. 00:06:58 Speaker 3: Your teeth, your eyes, your ears, you don't want you know them, dropping the hose. 00:07:02 Speaker 1: You don't want it. Don't drop That's like my grandma used to say, don't drop the hose. 00:07:05 Speaker 3: Don't drop those right. Has your husband stopped seeing this? 00:07:10 Speaker 1: No? 00:07:11 Speaker 3: Oh, okay, well this is a problem. 00:07:12 Speaker 1: He's a lot more patient than I am. 00:07:13 Speaker 3: Too. He's more of a risk taker. 00:07:16 Speaker 1: He's a risk taker. Yeah, yeah, I guess. 00:07:19 Speaker 3: So he's willing to put whatever in the hands of these people. 00:07:23 Speaker 1: Yeah. And he's never been he never felt like this is unsafe for anything. I've convinced myself it was unsafe. But did I go back to her for cavity Phil recently? 00:07:34 Speaker 3: Sure? 00:07:34 Speaker 2: Did? 00:07:34 Speaker 3: Oh boy, Well, it's hard. 00:07:36 Speaker 1: You're trapped. 00:07:37 Speaker 3: I'm trapped, absolutely a hostage situation. 00:07:39 Speaker 1: It's a hostage situation that involves my teeth. 00:07:42 Speaker 3: They know that you have no one to turn to, right because it takes so much work, and then the next person could. 00:07:47 Speaker 1: Be a lot close and they take insurance, and I mean, what's the worst that could happen? 00:07:51 Speaker 3: I too, thisis just told me that my insurance may not even work. Why am I going to this person? 00:07:56 Speaker 1: You're not going to this person. This is over. I'll call them, give me the put need you to get that's good on the phone. This is not happening. 00:08:03 Speaker 2: I don't know. 00:08:04 Speaker 1: I'm stepping in as your surrogate mother for the day. This is not happening. In fact, I have a bone to pick with them. 00:08:11 Speaker 3: What else has been going on in your life? 00:08:13 Speaker 1: That's it, dents of your dental problems. Nothing that's amazing. 00:08:17 Speaker 3: Priority. At this point, you're dropping everything. 00:08:19 Speaker 1: I've been in a weird like time capsule, just waiting for this conversation. I have a teenager. I have a teenage son. He's seventeen, seventeen. Yeah, it's a whole new world. You know, it's all about to get getting, you know, moving, Come on, move them along, get right, don't do that, do this? Oh well, we're not going to do that. Okay. 00:08:44 Speaker 3: Now with seventeen, I imagine like a fifteen year old is kind of like almost kind of an adult person, but still can't drive a car, can't really take care of themselvesselves. A seventeen year old is now approaching a full person. Have you noticed a major shift between those? 00:09:00 Speaker 1: You know what the shift we've noticed is in the desire for independence. Okay, have the skill sets changed at all? Is he driving? No? Is he allowed to drive? He's allowed. You know, here's the thing. We made it very the road. The roads where we live are like on the list of like the world's scariest Oh boy, like we might as well live on the Autobahn. 00:09:27 Speaker 3: A lot of curves, twists and turns, Pacific Coast Highway, beautiful Malibu Canyon Road. 00:09:35 Speaker 1: These are treacherous. They're scary, scary even for you know, experienced drivers. So and then all the weather that's been happening and all the different things. So we are in. No, we're not pushing. I have no hurry to get him out on the road. We've paid for the course. He has the password and he knows he can do it, you know, for its online. It's online for the permitting. 00:10:02 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean when I got my license, there was no password, there was no online. 00:10:06 Speaker 1: No, this was before you were hand cranking. 00:10:10 Speaker 3: Occasionally the horse was dragging. 00:10:12 Speaker 1: Right and you had to put him down, send him to the glue factory. So I was taken to the glue factory. 00:10:18 Speaker 3: Horses I had to kill during my learning. 00:10:21 Speaker 1: I saw one on the way in here. Just now. 00:10:23 Speaker 3: It's a habit. It's just an addiction. 00:10:26 Speaker 1: Or is it a hobby? 00:10:28 Speaker 3: An addiction can be a hobby, could be yes, absolutely, So it's it's fun, it takes up It fills my days. 00:10:37 Speaker 1: If that's and that's really Isn't that all we're all trying to do is fill our days? No, but so we we allow you know, I've said to him in your own time, right. But what I am noticing in what I think a lot of parents with children of any age, but but really these sort of formative going out into the world ages is since COVID, uh, really the timeline there is no timeline anymore, right, and so it's uh, it's it's a whole new world. So we're just feeling it out. 00:11:10 Speaker 3: Oh boy, what was a learning Where did you grow up. 00:11:14 Speaker 1: New York City and Connecticut? My mom was in Connecticut, my dad was in Manhattan. 00:11:18 Speaker 3: Did you learn to drive as a teenager? 00:11:20 Speaker 1: Then? I did. But I also feel like that it was that sort of I know everyone's probably sick of hearing, but that sort of gen x like turnkey thing where it was like you had to, like, my, you know what, where Like how else are you going to get places? 00:11:34 Speaker 3: Right? There was no other option? 00:11:35 Speaker 1: And I did you know? I didn't have to in Manhattan obviously, but for Connecticut, I did you know when I was at my mom's to get places, it's out in the middle of nowhere. You gotta there's no you know, hopping on a you know, trolley to get This wasn't the same. This wasn't San Francisco. So yeah, I learned, uh in January. It was like pretty intense East Coast January weather. And my first car was a Nissan Stanza four door hatchback. The color caramel, which was really vomit. I think we figured out and I paid half and my mom paid half, so it was eight hundred dollars total. 00:12:16 Speaker 3: Oh my god, that's incredible is the Stanza. Oh I feel like I'm gonna have a little bit of a crush on this car. Let me look it up really quick. 00:12:25 Speaker 1: I'm excited because I haven't seen it in years. 00:12:28 Speaker 3: Okay, let's see if this. 00:12:29 Speaker 1: Was an at nineteen forty two, like white car, alternate motor and white wall tires that gleamed like the Chrysler building it was. 00:12:43 Speaker 3: It was a hatchback, right. 00:12:45 Speaker 1: Yeah, Nissan stands a four door hatchback. 00:12:47 Speaker 3: I'm looking up a nineteen ninety Oh. 00:12:49 Speaker 1: Dear, no, well, what year that's cute. I graduated high school in eighty eight eighty okay, so so this would be in This would probably be a let's say, nineteen eighty five eighty six, okay, because I would have gotten it in eighty six, okay, eighty four, eighty five. That's a gorgeous car. Thank you? 00:13:08 Speaker 3: Look at that? 00:13:09 Speaker 1: Is that it? That's it? 00:13:10 Speaker 3: It is really a nice car. 00:13:12 Speaker 1: It's sporty, very sporty. And I this was This was before the days of the of the print, the home printer. So if you wanted images inside of your car, you had to go to a postcard shop. I did. I got on Saint Mark's place. I bought about thirty sex pistols postcards. 00:13:35 Speaker 3: Oh incredible, a sex pistols. 00:13:37 Speaker 1: Postcard, postcards and postcards? What's that? 00:13:41 Speaker 3: More bands should have postcards. 00:13:42 Speaker 1: All bands should have postcards. How else do people find out about them if they don't have postcards? 00:13:47 Speaker 3: That's the problem with the music. 00:13:51 Speaker 1: So I taped them to the roof right of my home. Fans Offord, Well, unless you took a turn, and if postcar's just falling, falling to your face. And my mom, I'll never forget at the time again, this is nineteen eighty six. My mom got in my car and lit up a cigarette like you do nineteen. 00:14:16 Speaker 3: Eighty six or twenty twenty three. We're all smoking. 00:14:20 Speaker 1: Any old damn time pre apocalypse, post apocalypse. And I said, no, no, no, we don't smoke in my car. I'm not a smoker. You don't smoke in my car. And she looked at me like, sister, I paid four hundred dollars for this car smoking And I was like that's fair. Yeah. 00:14:36 Speaker 3: So wow, what a car? What a time? 00:14:39 Speaker 1: What a car? What a time? 00:14:41 Speaker 3: Now your son is seventeen? 00:14:43 Speaker 1: Is that gen Z? What? Or what? 00:14:46 Speaker 3: What's the generation after? 00:14:49 Speaker 1: That's a great question. He is as far as I'm aware, he was born in two thousand and five. As far as I know, he is gen z okay, which I got a nice ring to it, gen X and gen Z. 00:14:58 Speaker 3: And do we also call them zoomers or did I make that up? It's a thing. 00:15:04 Speaker 1: It's a thing. But is it the same thing? Is it the same generation? Or is that the next No? Yeah, generations? The next zoomer? Alpha? Yeah, that's the next one. 00:15:18 Speaker 3: How does alpha? That feels that's predatory. 00:15:20 Speaker 1: And it's not going to happen. There won't be anything left for them, but that's they know that. 00:15:26 Speaker 3: If it does, we are all in danger. That's you know, they're hungry for meat. 00:15:31 Speaker 1: We don't even need to name them. 00:15:32 Speaker 3: They're zombies, they're phantoms. Generation. 00:15:36 Speaker 1: Fan of it? I love it. I love the idea of sort of like a team jersey that we're all I picture it that we're all on like our different teams of our generations, not against each other, but like you know, softball league, community softball league. It's all in good fun and we so wait, what what are what are? What are you? 00:15:58 Speaker 3: I'm a millennial? 00:15:59 Speaker 1: You're a millennials. That's also yeah, which is now old? Well my yeah, I have half brother and half sister who they're not half they're my brother and sister but just happened to be well you want to keep doing their mom it's really what it is. No they The reason I say that is because it gives it makes you understand why they're so much younger than me, because otherwise it's like what was your mom up to? No, my dad, my stepmom? They are millennials. Also, just the idea that they are some other generation. But you know their parents, they're getting up there, they've got you know, they're full grown adults. 00:16:38 Speaker 3: You can't be a millennial early twenties anymore. It doesn't happen. 00:16:42 Speaker 1: They're making their own. They're on their fourth dentist at this point. 00:16:45 Speaker 3: I think, I mean all millennials really are having teeth problems. We're finally facing that our teeth aren't going to last. That's right, they aren't going to rot. Our gums are going to recede. These are the problems millennials are facing. 00:16:59 Speaker 1: The only problems I've read. 00:17:00 Speaker 3: Yes, that's I mean, your headline's everywhere. That's it millennials and their gums. 00:17:04 Speaker 1: Other than that, you have everything figured out, and bravo to you. And you're standing on the shoulders of gen xers, so you're welcome. 00:17:12 Speaker 3: Boomers and gen xers laid the path other than for our gums and teeth. 00:17:17 Speaker 1: No other proba speaking of. And this might offend someone in here. I don't know, and I may look like a complete ass right now, but is one of your cars outside the white car that has a sticker on the back with a panda shooting an AK forty seven? Oh my god, No, I guess probably not, But then I thought maybe it was ironic. I am so fun to know it's on my car. There is a what car right out in front of your house with a black sticker of a panda shooting an AK forty seven? What what is that for? Well, I'm trying to understand. So it could be like really serious environmentalists. It's like making an ironic statement. 00:18:01 Speaker 3: Right, maybe an eco terrorist. 00:18:03 Speaker 1: All I know is whoever it is, I put a note on their card. They're your next guest. I just gave them the gate code. They're coming in. 00:18:10 Speaker 3: They're booked, They're booked. Bumper stickers. I feel like I are having kind of a renaissance right now. There's of course the bumpersicker that says, stop honking. I'm listening to what is it the Universal Jazz masterpiece? 00:18:29 Speaker 1: This is too many words. 00:18:31 Speaker 3: There's a I recently saw a bumpersickre that said, and this might be an old bumper siccret said why litter, shove it up your ass, which I thought was a great bumper sec That is wonderful. 00:18:40 Speaker 1: Also, I feel like, now that traffic is so bad everywhere in all cities, we could do longer bumper We could do chapters of books because you have more time to read them. 00:18:49 Speaker 3: That's a good idea. And it'll keep people's eyes off their phone during traffic. Yes, give them another thing. 00:18:54 Speaker 1: To look at, that's right, or adds on the back of people's cars, video screens on the back those cars. These are all Quibbi development. Well, I saw a car yesterday, like a pickup truck, and he had taken it upon himself, this gentleman, to do duct tape art. But it was it said ultra maga, Oh boy, not ultra maga. And he had some crosses in tape, some duct tape work. And then he on the other side he wrote two genders. Oh boy, yeah, two, So there's only two. So I learned a lot. 00:19:32 Speaker 3: And was that also done in tape? 00:19:34 Speaker 1: All tape? This person is, by the way, I don't know the last time you purchase colored duct tape. It's not cheap. 00:19:41 Speaker 3: No, it's the most expensive of the tapes. 00:19:44 Speaker 1: It's an expensive tape. 00:19:45 Speaker 3: Maybe it's stolen tape. Oh, I wouldn't put it past this person, this guy. When you're doing tapework on your car, there's a there's a a at my local target. I don't know if the person is just kind of haunting the target, if they're the manager, if they're in the mall attached to it. It's the car is always there. And the tapework on this car. 00:20:04 Speaker 1: Oh, they have tapework too, pure. 00:20:06 Speaker 3: Havoc across this car. I mean, there are a lot of things that probably can't even be said on a podcast religious not religious violent. But this person is at that mall all the time. Okay, we're kind of I feel like there's a fuse that's slowly counting down with this person. 00:20:22 Speaker 1: Any chance they're dead in the car, do we check to see maybe the person is in the trunk? Just do a home check of this car. Safety what they called it, safety check check, a wellness wellness check, wellness jack. I want to start doing that around my neighbors, just to see their cool houses, the ones that like you're you know, you're like, oh, what is that lamp? Do you want to well this check? Hi? You guys good What lamp is that? Okay, I'm so glad you guys are good. 00:20:54 Speaker 3: By that's a good way to get a peek in or start baking. 00:20:59 Speaker 1: All the oh we have. You know, in our neighborhood, when I first moved there over twenty years ago, nobody had gates. Nobody we had a circular driveway. Would just you walk right up to the door. It was a neighborhood. Right now everybody has gates, including us. It just you see it start to happen and you're like, oh shit, am I supposed to have a gate, so we do. But so when someone rings the gate. 00:21:25 Speaker 3: It's like, what is this startling? 00:21:27 Speaker 1: It's startling. It shouldn't be because it's never been a fairy, it's never been like a city that I'm aware of. And yet the other day we got a ring from one of the local Jewish groups handing out matsa for Passover. 00:21:44 Speaker 3: Oh that's nice. 00:21:45 Speaker 1: Well see this was my reaction. And my husband's Jewish. My son is Jewish. We had our son, barman said and I and I said, oh, lovely, there's the But then my husband's like, don't eat that. How are you doing? I go, but they're from the he goes, we don't know that for sure, and I was like, good point. I just assumed, like, oh, how sweet and probably, but you do just eat food. It's open in a ziplock from some random person who claims to be whatever. 00:22:15 Speaker 3: Although if someone is going to go to the work of making matsa to poison me. 00:22:20 Speaker 1: Yes, go for it. You've earned it. 00:22:22 Speaker 3: Oh, you're so right in the work, and you've thought outside the box. 00:22:25 Speaker 1: It's not like mauzzle. Yes for that idea. You're a mensch. Put me out of my misery. 00:22:34 Speaker 3: Yeah, you would. You put in the extra work to kill me. 00:22:38 Speaker 1: You rang the gate. You won in every way. 00:22:42 Speaker 3: I mean speaking of showing up with things that are a little suspicious, or maybe things that shouldn't be trusted. Wellness checks this kind of thing. I was really excited to have you on the podcast. 00:22:55 Speaker 1: You I'm so happy to be here, Harry. 00:22:57 Speaker 3: Seems wonderful. We'll have such a great time. 00:23:00 Speaker 1: Is coming. 00:23:00 Speaker 3: Maybe i'll I'm avoiding butts here. We're going to just cut to the chase. You show up, you knock on the door. Well, actually you call through the window, went. 00:23:12 Speaker 1: Around the back, not just call through the window, sort of looked through the window like an old Italian grandma. 00:23:19 Speaker 3: And specially to have you a handkerchief, I mean holding a basket of. 00:23:24 Speaker 1: Bread the bonds. Hey, I'm making the gaby. 00:23:28 Speaker 3: We heard your woodshoes coming up the cobblestones. But I answered the door. Here you are holding a bag. 00:23:39 Speaker 1: Carrie. 00:23:40 Speaker 3: The podcast is called. I said, no gifts. You got the emails. 00:23:44 Speaker 1: I assume. 00:23:48 Speaker 3: This looks like a gift. Is this a gift for me? 00:23:50 Speaker 1: Well? I mean it. Yeah, I'm just gonna come out and say yeah, but here's the thing I was taught now, you don't ever go anywhere empty handed, And then this is what I was taught. You always bring a gift, and then the host is always going to say, oh, you shouldn't have brought, but they don't mean it. So I don't think you mean it. I think you're I think you are secretly can't wait to get your grubby little fingers into this bag. 00:24:20 Speaker 3: This feels deeply unfair to me. This feels really really unfair. 00:24:25 Speaker 1: Listen, you be the judge. We'll see what's in it. If you like, you like, If you don't, you don't call it a day? 00:24:32 Speaker 2: Well? 00:24:32 Speaker 3: Should I open it here on the podcast? Okay, I'll open it here on the podcast. 00:24:37 Speaker 1: Life is short. Here you can hear the quality of the paper. It's beautiful paper. Yeah, it's day glow. It's not just look. 00:25:02 Speaker 3: I don't just this is a very well wrapped gift. 00:25:05 Speaker 1: This is tasteful. Thank you. 00:25:06 Speaker 3: It's kind of is this Paisley, are we calling this past? 00:25:09 Speaker 1: We're gonna chump delay trump delay. That's it. It's a is it it's gonna see? Is it a gen X thing? No, it's like a it's a form. It's an art style trump delay like you'll see in it in a in France, like a trump delay. It's usual. Usually it's like it's silhouettes of ladies with watering. 00:25:33 Speaker 3: Of course, and this is kind of a floral. 00:25:36 Speaker 1: I don't know it's from. It's a two dollars bad from Target. Let's be doing it. 00:25:40 Speaker 3: They're doing it at Target. They've got a good gift wrap and this is great. Let's open this. I'm gonna pull the tissue out. 00:25:47 Speaker 1: Now there's three things in there. 00:25:48 Speaker 3: Oh do they need to come out in any order? 00:25:51 Speaker 1: Ah? Wow, that's a great question. 00:25:54 Speaker 3: I'll feel around and see there's. 00:25:56 Speaker 1: The loud crinkly one first. 00:25:57 Speaker 3: Okay, this feels loud and that's it. Oh, this is so cute. It's a miniature garden tools set or like maybe not miniature. That sounds like it's for a mouse. 00:26:09 Speaker 1: This is for a hobbit, a hobbit, that's yes. I don't know if enough about you. I don't know if you have a hobbit. If you don't have a hobbit, I think you could still use it. 00:26:21 Speaker 3: I'm I'm hobbit adjacent, all right, I'm around that hight. I imagine I would fit in a. 00:26:27 Speaker 1: Hobbit be the King of the Hobbits. 00:26:29 Speaker 3: But sure, okay, I would be on a like a Hobbit basketball team, right, power forward, that sort of thing. 00:26:36 Speaker 1: This is very cute. 00:26:37 Speaker 3: So it's like it is, I could use this for indoor plants. 00:26:41 Speaker 1: Indoor plants, or this is what I'm thinking. I want to be very clear with you. The three items in this bag were unintended to be used together. Oh however, however, once I put them together, all of a sudden, a story started here. So here's what I'm thinking. You have that. Okay, now the box. There's a box in reachide the bag, so you have you have the mini gardening tools reaching for a box, and then you have this again, had. 00:27:18 Speaker 3: Come together as a story is going to be very It's an LED party. 00:27:21 Speaker 1: Line, yeah, a mini LED party line. 00:27:25 Speaker 3: Right and again not mouse size. This is beginning to feel. 00:27:34 Speaker 1: Okay, well that wasn't intended. No, no, no, no. When you open the third you're going to get it. 00:27:38 Speaker 3: Okay, I'm gonna get. 00:27:40 Speaker 1: The story that was never intended. It makes no sense that I've made up in my head. 00:27:43 Speaker 3: Reaching for and this is the smallest thing in here, so that's reaching pulling out. Oh what oh, I these are miniature people. They're people people gins. What is people gins? 00:27:57 Speaker 1: I don't know. 00:27:58 Speaker 3: It's like a small bag, a five piece of. 00:28:01 Speaker 1: Bag of people. It's a bag of people. 00:28:04 Speaker 3: Is Jen's another word for people? I don't know, another language. I don't know. Well, these are okay, so tell me everything about this whole situation. 00:28:12 Speaker 1: I don't know. This is my thought, this is my trying to make sense of it all. So these were things I had sitting around in a box labeled gifts that I led my pe Touch. So the party light was something I thought, Oh, a kid might like that for a birthday gift. The gardening tools came with a plant stand that I bought on Amazon, and I went, what you can't do? This doesn't These aren't useable, usable, But I'll say them because maybe for a kid comes over they want to do little gardening. We've got the garden offensive. It's going to get better. It's going to get better. That bag of people. My son was making a model train little town. So those people are sized for a model train village. Okay, okay, but here's my thought. Hear me out. This has nothing to do with you and your size, your grand king of the hobbit stature, says the uncomfortably tall lady together to me, this is a night and what this night is for you? On when you're bored, you throw a disco for the little people, and then you bury him. 00:29:39 Speaker 3: They go too hard on the party, they go too hard on the part. 00:29:42 Speaker 1: That's it. 00:29:43 Speaker 3: They're in a warehouse. They're having the time of their life already, look already wedding. They've got this huge disco ball or a party light. 00:29:52 Speaker 1: Or maybe there's one mini hot dog left, and they fight over it and they fight to the death. 00:29:59 Speaker 3: They're out of their mind. Yeah, and they want that hot dog. 00:30:02 Speaker 1: How fun is this? Right? You find them dead, you bury them with your little but you don't bury them with a big that would be aggressive. 00:30:11 Speaker 3: You're like, not a mass grave for the. 00:30:13 Speaker 1: Party when you're not some kind of sick Oh no, no, no, no no, You use a delicate little hoe. 00:30:19 Speaker 3: Each one gets their own little graves. Yes, and their families are able to visit school trips to you know, warn children about the dangers of party drug. 00:30:30 Speaker 1: Do you see? And you could even open this up as a tourist attraction and make a little money on the side. 00:30:35 Speaker 3: Well, I'm looking. I'm always looking for new revenue streams. I don't. 00:30:39 Speaker 1: I hate to give a gift and at the same time, go, you're welcome, but. 00:30:42 Speaker 3: You're welcome, you're not getting a thank you from me. 00:30:45 Speaker 1: I do a fun thing around gifts. I think it's fun. Most other people don't think it's fun, and that's kind of what's even more fun about it when you go to I always find it funny when you There are certain events where the gifts are opened in front of people, right, sometimes kids parties, although people stop doing that because it's kind of obnoxious. Showers for some reason, we all we gather around and one at a time they're like, oh shit, this is going to be and everybody, oh, wedding and baby right right. So my go to bit because at a shower, especially, you don't know everyone. Birthday party, maybe because you're all mutual friends. Whatever shower is multi generational. There's no way you've met all their aunts, their cousins, their boss. There's just no way. So my favorite thing to do is when the rich aunt gives the present that she's so excited and everyone hushes, hushes, she hushes everybody after it's opened, and everyone oohs in oz, I like to say loudly, that's from both of us. 00:31:55 Speaker 3: That's incredible. 00:31:57 Speaker 1: One hundred percent of the time reaction is death, bullet eyeballs, head whips around. No it's not, No, it isn't. Oh, it's so wonderful. 00:32:10 Speaker 3: And are you getting the no, it isn't from the great antwers. 00:32:13 Speaker 1: Yes, Oh, furious and curious because she took a car to Neeman's to specifically pick out that cashmi and baby blanket and have the name that had nothing to do with you. I take equal credit, and I start and I start giving facts about the gifts that are not true. It's from Italy. I'm so glad you like it. We were worried she might already have one. 00:32:42 Speaker 3: That is such a good idea, so fun, because no one should be doing that anymore. No, it's so uncomfortable for everybody and everyone to feel like, oh, I'm not close enough. I didn't get a better gift. 00:32:55 Speaker 1: I didn't get the right thing. I didn't get the bigger thing. I didn't get the more thoughtful thing. It's not right to open it later, paus. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. 00:33:05 Speaker 3: I mean, it is the other side of it, though, is weird to me as well, where there's kind of this mounting pile of gifts, that's this looming mystery that none of us will ever learn, what will happen when we leave. 00:33:17 Speaker 1: I love a pile of gifts. I love a pile of gifts, and my other bit if the gifts are not being opened. Then as we're walking past the gifts, I turn to a relative or a friend who clearly isn't going to get the bit, and I say, I'm going to start opening these. Are you with me? And again they don't love it. And the more they don't love it, the more I love it. 00:33:42 Speaker 3: I think I support that one hundred percent. I'm fully behind you there. 00:33:46 Speaker 1: I've also sat down at a mall or a high end hotel under the Christmas tree and started pretending to open the gifts, just sitting crisscross applesaucetar to. Usually the security gets a kick out of it, but not always. 00:34:04 Speaker 3: I feel like low level. I don't want to call it crime, but mischief like that should be happening more often. 00:34:10 Speaker 1: I think so too. I'm although with all the like prank print like rank tick talkers, that's oh prank tik talkers, all these kids these days, these zoomers. 00:34:20 Speaker 3: I'm back peddling. I'm back peddling. None of this should be happening, absolutely not. No, thank you for not having fun in public, especially not on camp. 00:34:28 Speaker 1: Bits in the grocery store. Please. 00:34:32 Speaker 3: We were just recovering from the flash mobs of the early tens. 00:34:36 Speaker 1: I wanted to be in a flash mob so good that I missed it. I missed the era of flash mob. 00:34:42 Speaker 3: We're going to come back. They're going to come back. Everything in a cycle. I'm guessing twenty twenty eight, the flash mob returns in a huge way. Another uh, what's his name? Mendel? Howie Mendeli meant I was gonna say, Harvey Mandel. Howie Mandel had a flash mob show. They're going to reboot it. I'm telling you they're going to reboot that. It came at the end of flash mobs. I think it was a little like, oh waited too long on this. 00:35:06 Speaker 1: I'm the loser that still watches like the Oprah flash mob and balls every time. 00:35:12 Speaker 3: What did Oprah do as a flash mob? 00:35:13 Speaker 1: They did one on her? Oh my god, this is so embarrassing that I'm telling the story and with such excitement. But I am telling you google it. She did an episode of her show which was like one hundredth episode or six hundred that, whatever the heck it was, and they shut down the whole center of Chicago for it. Okay, her apparently she did not know, but her entire staff knew that. The entire audience all the way down the center of Chicago was a flash mob and they had black eyed peas playing Oh boy, that Tonight's gonna be And so she's looking out in the audience from the stage. She notices these two people in front are dancing. She's like, yeah, yeah, and then more people doing it, and by the time it's over thousands of people. What are all doing? I'm telling you, if you don't cry, you have no soul. 00:36:05 Speaker 3: Your set up by the military. 00:36:07 Speaker 1: They do this and then they at the end, she had a heart attack and died. I don't know if you heard about this. This was several years ago. It was a plan to kill Oprah. It was kind of a it was and the new one is just an AI. So yeah, I thought everybody knew this. So weird. 00:36:23 Speaker 3: Maybe for assassination, no individual wanted to get their hands sturdy, so they created a flash mob to. 00:36:31 Speaker 1: Do and did it with music and dance steps. Wow, that's fascinating. No, it is if you're a nerd like me, it uh got me? 00:36:38 Speaker 2: Got you? 00:36:39 Speaker 1: Got me? Guys? You got me? 00:36:41 Speaker 3: Do we think Oprah didn't know? 00:36:43 Speaker 1: You know what? I can't believe we're talking about this. First of all, I'm happy to be talking about this. Watch the thing. I do think she did not know. That is a huge. 00:36:55 Speaker 3: Gamble, huge massive gamble. 00:36:58 Speaker 1: But you have Oprah. She an actress, so if she did know, she can play along. They're not going to you know what saying, right? 00:37:04 Speaker 3: But I mean if she didn't know, that could have gone in any direction. Yeah that I mean she could have strangled someone to death. 00:37:12 Speaker 1: She and knowing her on camera could have happened. You get a car, You get a car? What the wow? 00:37:21 Speaker 3: I've got to look that up. I mean, flash mobs count on it. Twenty twenty eight. You should start preparing, start thinking of ideas they're going to come back. Maybe you should host a flash mob show. 00:37:31 Speaker 1: I think that's a terrible idea that maybe I should do. Get my pot of berets in order. 00:37:36 Speaker 3: Do you know what I was going to ask you? Yes, So in this bag of gardening tools, there's obviously the spade. Yes, some people might call it a small shovel, right, what is then there's the other thing that's the claw thing. 00:37:49 Speaker 1: It's like a little rake. 00:37:50 Speaker 3: Is that what we're calling that? Is that? 00:37:51 Speaker 1: A time? Does say anything on it? No, anything, It wouldn't be an English. 00:37:55 Speaker 3: I've always wondered, but there must be an official title for that. 00:37:58 Speaker 1: I'm gonna this is going to be surprising to you, but these are apparently made in China. 00:38:02 Speaker 3: They're very cute. 00:38:03 Speaker 1: They really are very cute. I wonder what that. 00:38:05 Speaker 3: There must be an official name on at least you have any idea with the small claw, there's this. 00:38:10 Speaker 1: I think it's just a hand rake or a mini rake. I've been looking at aut drake mini rate. I love that you were already on the case, always always on. 00:38:18 Speaker 3: At least was just doing some private shopping for themselves. Exactly do you do any gardening yourself? 00:38:25 Speaker 1: Funny you should ask no. But the reason why it's funny should ask is because it's my husband's whole, like he's just all about it. We call it. We have a we call a little farm in our backyard called Silver farms. 00:38:38 Speaker 3: Oh, very cute. 00:38:39 Speaker 1: My husband grows everything you could possibly imagine. He completely has a green thumb. And for a couple of years, just for funzies, he was selling our tomatoes to local restaurants. Wow, you know, like fancy little right right, baskets of tomatoes. And our whole neighborhood was in a really fun fire called the Woolsey Fire. Stuff years ago. So we did not lose our home where our roof had to be replaced, part of our landscaping died all a bunch of different stuff. Yes, and we lost two chickens. We have one left, Betty, and she is a survivor. She is such a badass. 00:39:18 Speaker 3: The things that chicken has seen, the. 00:39:20 Speaker 1: Things that chicken has seen. She still laying eggs. She's she's incredible. 00:39:25 Speaker 3: Wow, she didn't let that stop it for her for a minute. 00:39:28 Speaker 1: I should have brought her. Where did she? 00:39:30 Speaker 3: You shouldn't speaking of future guests here. 00:39:32 Speaker 1: She is now, Ladies and gentlemen, she's carrying a small bag castaway. 00:39:38 Speaker 3: Okay, how did she survive the fire? Uh? 00:39:43 Speaker 1: Just wandering around, just hanging out, wandering around. We have several friends who's coops burned and the chickens didn't know what to do, of course. Yeah, she's just there, wow, kicking it. 00:39:55 Speaker 3: And so the but the fire burned down the garden. 00:39:58 Speaker 1: No, no, it didn't burn down the garden. Some people's gardens, many people's gardens are neighbors on both sides and across the street. 00:40:07 Speaker 3: Sound like you may have had something to do. 00:40:09 Speaker 1: With the fire, you know what, it's it's debatable. It's a whole I'll give you this. 00:40:15 Speaker 3: It's hard to pin down an arsonism. 00:40:17 Speaker 1: You just don't know, just because I was practicing my homemade fireworks. And there's no proof. No, but it Uh, the water had to be off for several months. Oh, so things died and then when they did come back on, there were so many rocks in the water lines that all the sprinkler lines blew. Wow, because you know, it was a mess. It was just a mess. So they came on and then they weren't usable, and and we had bigger fish to fry than keeping our garden alive, you know, And we were out for a year. 00:40:53 Speaker 3: And wow, but he's back with the garden. 00:40:55 Speaker 1: Oh, he's back. This year's back better than ever. 00:40:58 Speaker 3: So see, like seasonal vegetables all kinds of things. 00:41:02 Speaker 1: Seasonal depends. My husband's a cinematographer, so during the year when he's doing shows, it's like, you know, full on, but we'll have pumpkins and and eggplant and stuff out there in the winter that's you know, things that are fun to have, just a couple of things. But in the summer, full on. 00:41:21 Speaker 3: Wow, And are you using all the vegetables? Are you giving them away? 00:41:24 Speaker 1: Both? They're there because they don't trickle in, you know, that's the hard part there there, and they're already to be too many. Yeah. Right, But at any given time, if we had any right now, I would. 00:41:36 Speaker 3: Have probably some sort of first produce. 00:41:38 Speaker 1: I would have is harsh, but I would have. Now next time, maybe I won't because of. 00:41:43 Speaker 3: The third time. We'll look forward to a third time. 00:41:48 Speaker 2: Uh. 00:41:48 Speaker 3: Favorite vegetable is this something you ask everybody? Yeah, this is a question that had. 00:41:55 Speaker 1: Been in the email, so I could have planned an answer. Favorite vegetable I I eat like left my own devices. I eat like an eight year old left home alone in the seventies. So favorite vegetable is like, like, is it like, what's your favorite? You know, tooth extraction? Is it? L seven? Great band? By the way, I know I do. What do I like? 00:42:20 Speaker 3: I like asparagus aspa Okay, I'm not that on board of asparagus, to be honest. 00:42:25 Speaker 1: I like asparagus themed asparagus. What about you? You say favorite? Is you get excited about a vegetable? Well, no, okay. 00:42:32 Speaker 3: I mean I will say with asparagus, I like it when it's just asparagus. But when we're putting in a sandwich or like an omelet, like the texture doesn't work at all too much, that's too stringy and mushy, and your teeth don't know what to do with it. Favorite vegetable for me? I would do we count like a actually bell pepper? Okay, love a bell pepper? 00:42:52 Speaker 1: Great? 00:42:53 Speaker 3: Do we count a pepper as a vegetable? I guess we do. Do we count berry as a. 00:42:57 Speaker 1: Fri They're called night Shade vegetables. 00:43:01 Speaker 3: Oh I love that name. 00:43:03 Speaker 1: The drama is so dramatic. They're like, listen, listen, bitch, We're not just vegetables. We're not just one of the veggie tails. We're the night Shades. And they have like a theme song. 00:43:13 Speaker 3: Night Shade should be like the eightist veggie tails. That makes sense to me. 00:43:21 Speaker 1: Yeah, they are the their eggplant, their bell pepper, tomatoes, I think too. 00:43:27 Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like tomatoes do fall into a night shade. 00:43:29 Speaker 1: Not to be like an old lady about it, but they also are slightly more inflammatory than. 00:43:36 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's very true. But I'll eat a green pepper, yellow pepper, red pepper, orange pepper. 00:43:41 Speaker 1: They're great. 00:43:41 Speaker 3: I think those are the four categories delicious. 00:43:43 Speaker 1: They add beauty to a salad. They're gorgeous, Papa delish. 00:43:47 Speaker 3: You can throw them in a fajida. You're eating them plain. There's nothing to complain about. 00:43:51 Speaker 1: Eating them with dip. I just have to let you know that tobacco is also considered a night shade. Well, all three of us are smoking right now. I love a night shade. Oh I miss it. Wow. 00:44:04 Speaker 3: Interesting tobacco same category as a tomato. 00:44:07 Speaker 1: Your bowl right then, guys, it's time to get back on the train. 00:44:11 Speaker 3: That's all. This is a pro smoking podcast. 00:44:15 Speaker 1: If you've fallen off the train, or you haven't joined the train yet, come aboard. It's a grand old time. 00:44:20 Speaker 3: We hope you're lighting up right now. 00:44:22 Speaker 1: Right now. There's lots of ways you can do the gum, you can do the mints. You can do the vape, you can do the roll your owns, fun shapes, fun colors. 00:44:34 Speaker 3: I will say the gum I've never smoked, but the gum appeals. Nicotine gum appeals to me because it's in that the type of package you have to pop it out. I love the package and you can't get a regular gum with that package. But that's by far the best gum package. 00:44:47 Speaker 1: It is. But have you ever tried nicotine gum? 00:44:49 Speaker 3: No? Is it disgusting? 00:44:51 Speaker 1: H it is disgusting. It's funny because I was talking with Pete Holmes about this. He was talking about how he loves nicotine gum, and I said, oh, yeah, did it help you quit? So he goes, no, I never smoked what That's what I said? Oh no, yes, he just went right to it. Because and don't ever try it unless you want to become addicted to nicotine, because that's it's it is obviously in essence of nicotine delivery system. And it's fucking wonderful because it's nicotine. Why aren't more people doing that? Because they dead? 00:45:23 Speaker 2: No? 00:45:23 Speaker 1: I mean it's it's a crazy cycle, right, So it's wonderful. You get it's you get the fun of chewing gum and then you get a little rush and then you have to do it again and you go crazy, and it's expensive and it's all the things. So just it's a slippery slope. 00:45:38 Speaker 3: Guys, flavor flavor wise, what are we looking at here? Do they throw some mint in for you? 00:45:42 Speaker 1: But it's all It tastes like I tried it one time and I was like, yeah, no, thank you, it's it's sorry Nicorette. Because I am sponsored by them, my. 00:45:52 Speaker 3: Carte car is covered. 00:45:55 Speaker 1: But I just had the. 00:45:58 Speaker 3: The what is that called the. 00:46:00 Speaker 1: I wanted to say, I run a wrap. Yeah, I just had my car wrap like a big piece of Nicorette with a panda shooting in AK forty. So I'll be honest, that's my car. I just wanted to test the waters and see if you guys liked it. I was really excited. 00:46:16 Speaker 3: Actually, the reaction wasn't big enough for you to be scared. And now you're coming out Yeah no, Monty, you know you love automatic rifles and cigarettes. That's kind of your thing. Yeah, wow, how did we get to this? 00:46:30 Speaker 1: It's you get you know me guys night shades. Yeah, but no, it tastes like a like artificial mint, and then you're chewing. You're chewing like, oh okay, and then all of a sudden, someone shoots you in the eye with like pepper hot pepper spray. Oh weird. It's like that's the nicotine delivery. And then your brain goes, oh wow, I can do all things. This dinner party just got more fun. These people are more interesting. I'm going to do the laundry and learn to juggle. And then it's over describing, and then you're crying, and then you're like, where do I get more of this? And do you have to do? 00:47:09 Speaker 3: They keep Nicorette behind glass I think so. 00:47:13 Speaker 1: Listen, last time I had Nicorette was like in nineteen o seven. I don't know, this was like one hundred years ago, so it's probably changed, but I do remember trying it, like right when it came out. You had to have it, had to have. Well, I was a smoker at the time, and. 00:47:26 Speaker 3: You're an early adopter and new technology exactly. 00:47:30 Speaker 1: I just love to try new things, crack heroine, all the new things. 00:47:36 Speaker 3: You were always first in line. Yeah. 00:47:37 Speaker 1: Well, I worked for a company that we would do like product testing for drugs FORUSS street drugs, we do. This is what we do. We do dangerous amusement park rides. We do hard street drugs. Of course. Nicotine Nicorette is like the like the family friendly. 00:47:58 Speaker 3: It's kind of the Christian division and of the company exactly. 00:48:01 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:48:03 Speaker 3: Wow, well that's uh, I'm glad you're working. Let's just say, I'm glad you're working. 00:48:07 Speaker 1: I'm proud to be of service. 00:48:10 Speaker 3: Is there anything left to say about these gifts? We have the party light. We have this tiny family. I believe it's a mom, a dad. It's a very traditional family. This is an agenda. 00:48:22 Speaker 1: I don't know. I couldn't tell because just because they're wearing blue, it looked like there may be some wiggle room some wait and sees. 00:48:30 Speaker 3: Some you yeah, there's I mean, this could go in any direction. I suppose It's hard to tell for sure. But the all we know is they'll be at a party. They're going to be raving. 00:48:41 Speaker 1: Yeah, oh, they're raving the dead, and then they're dead partying like there's no tomorrow. Or they're partying like there's no tomorrow. And the next day they decide to grow a garden. 00:48:54 Speaker 3: With these giant tools they've found. 00:48:57 Speaker 1: So an answer to your question. Is there anything left to say about that gift? I think there is, and I think it's I'm sorry. 00:49:05 Speaker 3: I appreciate the apology. 00:49:06 Speaker 1: Okay, here I got you something. Sorry, I showed up. Thanks for having me. 00:49:11 Speaker 3: Sorry, I came drive off in your necarette car. I think we should play a game. Okay, let's play a game called Gift or a curse. I need a number between one and ten from you. Oh god, I know you love picking numbers. Seven Okay. I have to do some like calculating to get our game pieces. Okay, right now, you can promote, recommend, do whatever you want with the microphone. 00:49:34 Speaker 1: I'll be right back. Okay, he's taking off his pants. Now, he's taking off his tube top. He's picking up a parasol, taking off the clogs and putting on mules. All right, interesting choice it is spring. Off comes the wig, but on comes bald cap okay, kind of hot scuba mask okay, okay, and chapstick. 00:50:09 Speaker 3: I have a wedding to get to after this. I've got a lot on my plate and I'm sorry. I've got to do I have to multitask. So now the listener knows the secret's out. But I'm ready, you look great, and we can play the game. 00:50:23 Speaker 1: Now. Sounds good. 00:50:24 Speaker 3: This is how we play gift or a curse. I'm gonna name three things. You tell me if there are a gift or a curse and why okay, and then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong. There are correct answers. Prepare to win, lose, or be in between. That's really up to you. 00:50:38 Speaker 1: Okay, that's sort of the way with any game. You win or you lose your ear in between. But thank you for quit early. 00:50:45 Speaker 3: Di mid game. 00:50:46 Speaker 1: Right. 00:50:46 Speaker 3: There are other possibilities, other outs. 00:50:49 Speaker 1: Sure. 00:50:51 Speaker 3: This first one is from a listener named Mary. Mary has suggested gift or a curse shower drain hair catchers. 00:50:59 Speaker 1: Okay, I have one. Okay, that does not automatically make it a gift, but in my home, as one of the bread winners who has to have drains cleaned, which costs dollars, I'm gonna say gift because it saves money in the long run. Is it gross? Yeah? Is it necessary? Yeah? So is it a gift? Yeah? 00:51:28 Speaker 3: You get the point, of course. I mean the hair is coming off, it's gathering. You don't want to have to call a plumber. You don't want to have to pour draino down. That's dangers for pipes, let's be honest. 00:51:39 Speaker 1: And the environment. So I'm told, oh. 00:51:41 Speaker 3: That's it's going straight to the ocean, filling the ocean with draino. You don't want to have to stick a wire hanger down there. No, nobody likes that. 00:51:48 Speaker 1: And we need our wire hangers for other things. These days, there. 00:51:55 Speaker 3: Going to be banning wire hangers, right, But they're also disgusting. But in a way that's almost so disgusting, it's like, wow, this is the human body. 00:52:08 Speaker 1: No, somebody had to do it, though, God bless the person who came up with it. Somebody They're like, you know what, guys, I got it. I'll do it. I'll come up. You come up with the other stuff. You come up with the other fun things. You come up with funfetti cake mixes and bounce houses. I'll do the hair catcher for the drain. 00:52:28 Speaker 3: And it's heroes, absolutely unsung heroes. And honestly, now that we're talking about how discussing it is, I feel like, you know, there's the pimple popper YouTube. People they love that disgusting. Yeah, how this should be a new category shower drain catchers, so. 00:52:45 Speaker 1: Whird you're talking about this. My husband and I were having a conversation about something about my son for summer this morning in our bathroom and he picked out the sink drain and there was hair on the bottom of the sink drain, and I actually had to say to him, can you not do that while we're hav me a conversation about something else, because I really like I'm throwing up in my mouth. Of course, we are living in the matrix. 00:53:07 Speaker 3: Really, because I mean, this podcast is at the absolute center of the matrix. I mean, the predictions that have happened on this podcast are unbelievable, unbelievable, absolutely unbelievable. 00:53:18 Speaker 1: By the time this podcast is over, there are going to be live pannas walking around with AK forty seven's and miniature people at dance parties eating themselves to death. I heard it here first, Folks, in about six weeks when this airs. 00:53:33 Speaker 3: And it's all I mean, it's already happening once it air. Some people are unfortunate, like an earthquake warning system for this podcast to give people a few minutes heads up because these things are happening. Okay, you've got one point so far. A listener named Acasia has risked has suggested gift or a curse unintentional self portraits in pictures of mirrors for sale. So when somebody's and sell a mirror and accidentally takes a picture of themselves. 00:54:03 Speaker 1: A gift for me? Why? Oh, because it's so wonderful to see people's hamster brains working. Listen, I've had the same experience where I've tried the doctor says, well, take a picture of that bump on your ears, and it takes me four hours to figure out. Okay, if I turn left and I'm but I hold the phone and it's turned So I'm not making fun of the people. I am making fun of the people. I am also one. 00:54:32 Speaker 3: Of you belong to those spies of the. 00:54:34 Speaker 1: People, and I think it's super fun to watch. Also, I'm obsessed with seeing inside other people's homes in just a sort of anthropologic way. Uh so for me, a beautifully wrapped gift. 00:54:53 Speaker 3: I hate to hear it. 00:54:54 Speaker 1: Oh my wrong, it's a curse. 00:54:58 Speaker 3: I don't want to. I need to learn the whole story. When I knock on their door ready to buy the mirror, I want the full package. I don't want to tease. I want to just be thinking, there's going to be a mirror and then I don't know what lies behind the door. 00:55:09 Speaker 1: You don't want to know what that mirror has already seen. 00:55:13 Speaker 3: Yes, I just want to experience it firsthand with my eyes first. 00:55:17 Speaker 1: Never get out of when you are checking out your new Fedora and that mirror about ready to go out in your zoot suit the Big Dance Swing Revival. You don't want to remember that older gentleman in his brazier and his adult diaper that you saw, because that mirror saw that, and that mirror can't unsee those things. 00:55:40 Speaker 3: Well, but what I'm saying is I want to see that man in his bra and adult diaper by on my own. He answers the door, and I'm like, great. 00:55:49 Speaker 1: I don't want the mirror for the first time. I want I don't need to breve you take. 00:55:54 Speaker 3: I don't need a preview with my Craigslist purchases. I need a shock. 00:55:59 Speaker 1: I need to never saw this coming. Yes, Like, yeah, I wasn't. I didn't know this was going to be an episode of Hoarders, but it is exactly and by the way, your grandmother's not breathing under that stack of top of soup cans in that car in front of target. In that car in front of target, you should go get her. 00:56:21 Speaker 3: I buy a lot of mirrors out out of cars in front of target. 00:56:25 Speaker 1: But she is doing great tapework. 00:56:29 Speaker 3: Okay, so you definitely missed that point. 00:56:31 Speaker 1: Which is hard to hear humiliating. 00:56:34 Speaker 3: But let's try for a third one. This is from someone named Katie. Katie suggested give her a curse a chain restaurant where you get a KFC bucket worth of spaghetti. 00:56:46 Speaker 1: Oh, what's her name? Who is this person? Katie Katie? Listen, I'm gonna appeel the honey. Listen, sweetheart, sweet sweetheart, sit down. If you're not already sitting down, this is gonna honey, No listen. I don't know about you, but there's some sensory stuff that I can't get past. Like I don't love a spork brushing against uh styrofoam. This might be old references. Do not give me a paper straw. Don't do it. 00:57:22 Speaker 3: You're not on with a paper straw. 00:57:23 Speaker 1: No, I get it. Dolphins they're great, but. 00:57:26 Speaker 3: We've gotten to a point where you don't need a paper straw anymore. 00:57:29 Speaker 1: Fantastic, And I'm all for that. But don't give me these these sensory eating so slippery wet spaghetti in a cardboard bucket, because that implies that I'm meeting it out of the bucket. I don't care what you say. I don't care if I'm right or I'm wrong. If you're on Katie's side, you are dead to me. I mean it, Katie, I am pissed. 00:57:56 Speaker 3: Oh you're looking at a corpse. I'm dead to you. 00:57:59 Speaker 1: It's a gift. I get the hoe and the raki whatever the little raiki thing is called. Lay down you and Katie side by side. No, I'm not coming to your party where you're having spaghetti in a cardboard bucket. Talk to me, No, really, I want to hear your side. 00:58:16 Speaker 3: How is KFC the only business that's serving food in a bucket. If there's a company that wants to throw some shi in a bucket. 00:58:24 Speaker 1: It's not wet. I don't care. I want everything in a bucket. Why are you putting wet food in a pocket. 00:58:28 Speaker 3: It comes in buckets. 00:58:30 Speaker 1: Popcorn is not wet. 00:58:32 Speaker 3: If you get too much, butter it certainly is. It's a soupy souper food. 00:58:36 Speaker 1: Argue the popcorn is soupy. If you're eating soupy popcorn, you have bigger problems. 00:58:43 Speaker 3: I'm telling you every business should at least offer the bucket. Maybe it's not required, but say you know what you want to take, your bucket of spaghetti, your bucket of I don't know, taco meat. 00:58:58 Speaker 1: Go for it. 00:58:59 Speaker 3: I think that should be an option. Maybe it's an up charge. That's an idea for a company if they want. 00:59:03 Speaker 1: To fancy rich people who like wet food in buckets. If you like fancy rich food in buckets, we've got it for you. If you've got an extra thirty four cents to spare, come me spaghetti at a bucket. I think I heard they're doing that at No Boots. It's just oysters in a bucket, Just sushi in a bucket, sushi, but a bucket, Oh, sushi with a spork. You're onto. I think I'm into it. You're on as well. We know we have one customer. At least it only takes one customer. That's a business. He tries it. 00:59:42 Speaker 3: First rule of business school, that only takes. 00:59:44 Speaker 1: Once one I don't think that's the first rule. 00:59:46 Speaker 3: Of business one customer. 00:59:48 Speaker 1: I don't think you've been to business school, and I don't think that's a rule. 00:59:52 Speaker 3: Hello Sharks, today, I have a product that only one person is gonna buy. 01:00:02 Speaker 1: I need six million dollars from each of you. It only takes one customer. 01:00:09 Speaker 3: Oh wow, I hate to hear this. I mean for you to fail the game. Fail the game like this is devastating. 01:00:18 Speaker 1: Fail gloriously. That's what town is. An acting school. 01:00:22 Speaker 3: It got to a point that you're threatening to kill I mean, this is tasteless. You're showing, You're finally showing your true colors. 01:00:29 Speaker 1: I'm passionate about I'm passionate about the game. 01:00:33 Speaker 3: Well you got one out of three. You didn't completely fail. 01:00:35 Speaker 1: The story of my friggin' life. She's not the best, but she's still still around, guys. She's available. She's available. 01:00:48 Speaker 3: Oh no, it's time for we help me answer listener question. Yeah this is it's not from Katie. She's been from the podcast. This is the final segment of the podcast. It's called I Said No Emails. People write into I Said No Gifts at gmail dot com with whatever problem they have, my listeners, the problems. It's a torrent the problems in their lives never ending. It's a fire hoset. 01:01:16 Speaker 1: Oh these poor people, they need our help. Well poor me? Oh well you. 01:01:20 Speaker 3: I'm getting these questions. I'm trying to feel them as quickly as possible. I only do one podcast a week, right. 01:01:26 Speaker 1: And you don't have a master's in everything? No, no, no, no things, but not all things. 01:01:31 Speaker 3: Ah, but you know I do my best. 01:01:33 Speaker 1: Let me see if I can help you with my Bachelor of Fine Arts and Experimental theater background. 01:01:40 Speaker 3: Okay, this says dear bridge or in guest. I need some advice on writing thank you cards? Are they really necessary? I had a four month old baby and have received a lot of unsolicited gifts for him. I bought a stack of thank you cards with the intention of writing and sending them, but I'm a working mom and do not have time to write them, address them and say them off. I have a baby. Is everyone really expecting a written thank you card? Can I just be a person that doesn't write thank you cards? For context? I never sent wedding gift thank yous either. Any thoughts are appreciated, and that's from Sylvia. 01:02:16 Speaker 1: Sylvia, I would say this if you didn't write thank you cards for your wedding. It's a wonder you have any friends to write thank you cards too for your baby. I'm kidding. I'm speaking as my mother from the grave, but seriously, it is generational and it is changing. But I would say, yeah, I mean, I don't you think or what do you think? Okay, So if it is generational, yeah, well we don't know what. 01:02:42 Speaker 3: First of all, we don't know what generation Sylvia is. 01:02:45 Speaker 1: This is true, Sylvia, if she could be with a newborn, look, things are anything as anything as possible. You never know, uh, Sylvia, Oh boy, I mean I think I think the answer is yes, of course, if you can. So let's come up with some options. The baby could do them. 01:03:07 Speaker 3: The baby, I mean, you've got a little worker already. 01:03:09 Speaker 1: Yeah. Now, I don't want to assume anything, but if you had this baby with another adult human, what the hell, Carl, I'm assuming it's Carl, your ass Carl. First of all, you're blowing it. The baby was just born and you've already blown it. I smell divorce. I smell if anything else, Sylvia, you can stay with Bridger. I'm pretty sure there's This house is fantastic if you need a place to go. 01:03:40 Speaker 3: I have hundreds of bedrooms. 01:03:42 Speaker 1: At least hundreds of bedrooms lost. 01:03:44 Speaker 3: You got lost coming in. 01:03:45 Speaker 1: I don't even I still can't find you. I'm down the hall. I hear you through the head, through the labyrinth, So I don't know. If you can you should. If you can't, then listen. You're taking your time to write into a podcast. You have some time. 01:04:01 Speaker 3: Interesting point, very interesting point. 01:04:04 Speaker 1: Wait a minute, I'm starting to get suspicious of you. Sylvia. 01:04:07 Speaker 3: At the root of this, I think Sylvia is a deeply ungrateful person. 01:04:10 Speaker 1: I don't think she has a baby. 01:04:14 Speaker 3: I don't know that. I mean, I think she has an email address and a plan. 01:04:18 Speaker 1: Well, she's got hacked in, and I have her IP address and her home address, and we're headed over there. Now, where's the baby? What are you doing lounging around drinking martinis? It's four o'clock on a Tuesday. 01:04:32 Speaker 3: This is now to catch a predator style show. And Sylvia, we nailed you. We absolutely nailed you. Oh, Sylvia is actually a forty six year old guy, and he's headed to the slammer. 01:04:48 Speaker 1: We've been catfished. I saw it coming a mile away. If catfish taught us. Nothing is named Sylvia, certainly no one with a baby. 01:05:00 Speaker 3: We answered the question perfectly. Then, I don't know that there's anything left to say to Sylvia. 01:05:05 Speaker 1: Sylvia. I'll help you. I love writing thank you cards. 01:05:09 Speaker 3: Once you actually get into the rhythm of it. Yeah, it's fun. You get to think about the other person, say something nice. 01:05:15 Speaker 1: How often do you write with your hand and a pen? 01:05:19 Speaker 3: I write, well, I have fallen off, but I write in my journal once a day and it's nearly impossible. My hand is weak. 01:05:25 Speaker 1: Thank you for saying so. Because I started to worry, I had to write. Listen. I can't even remember what this is, how little I do, But I had to write something the other day, a card. I wrote a birthday card, and I remember thinking, am I having a stroke? But it was just like the act of And I'm like, is that a G? That's a G? Right, that's how you write it, just a plain old G. But it is amazing how quickly our brain sort of atrophy in certain areas of things that seem so obvious. 01:05:54 Speaker 3: Yes, I mean, I get into that journal and it's the writing of a seven year old. 01:06:00 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's horrifying mine too. 01:06:02 Speaker 3: Maybe I should start practicing, get into calligraphy or something. Maybe, but my hand is weak. All of her hands are awaken. Someone's going to take advantage of that. Eventually, someone's going to swoop in and see how this weak handed. 01:06:12 Speaker 1: Well, look what happened to the t rex. He's gone interesting, those little little t rexy hands stopped writing. You got a hold of a typewriter, and look at him now. And when I say look at him now, you can't look at him now because he's dead. Case in, points Sylvia, those little t rexy hands of yours or they're going to fall off. And what good are you going to be to that? Baby? Wow? 01:06:40 Speaker 3: So I'm glad, Sylvia wrote in me too. Ultimately I'm glad. I'm not thankful. 01:06:45 Speaker 1: You do miss her? She's dead. 01:06:48 Speaker 3: No, only we had valued our time with Sylvia. 01:06:52 Speaker 1: She had the greatest questions. Remember when she asked about the thank you cards. 01:06:57 Speaker 3: You know, you take people for granted while they're alone, and then they're gone, and you think, oh, if only we had just enjoyed those. 01:07:05 Speaker 1: Moments, favored one more moment with good old Sylvie. I called her, Sylvie, Well, you were very close, It's sure for Sylvia. 01:07:11 Speaker 3: You were very close. You were romantically linked at one point. 01:07:14 Speaker 1: Well, Carl and I had a thing and she got all freaked down. Then she's like, you know what, you can have him? And I was like, that's a friend. That's a friend, Sylvie for. 01:07:25 Speaker 3: You, Sylvie, mother friend, catfish. 01:07:30 Speaker 1: Wife of what are they called on handmaid's tail. 01:07:33 Speaker 3: Of Carl, wife of Carl, bless his name or something. 01:07:38 Speaker 1: Like bless would be the fruit of Carl. 01:07:42 Speaker 3: Uh. Fantastic. Well, thank you for helping me. 01:07:45 Speaker 1: Yeah, you're welcome. 01:07:46 Speaker 3: I had such a. 01:07:46 Speaker 1: Great time with you here today. It's such a great time with you too. 01:07:49 Speaker 3: And now I've got not only a little party that's going to go wrong. I can do many gardening. I've got a light piece that I could throw my own adult sized party. 01:07:59 Speaker 1: Sure I can. 01:08:00 Speaker 3: I'm all over the place. 01:08:01 Speaker 1: With the little people. You could put anywhere. 01:08:03 Speaker 3: They could be, anywhere they could find cake toppers. 01:08:06 Speaker 1: Just don't eat them. This is a very dangerous cake topper. It is. Oh don't give it to the doggie, know the dog. Oh God, you're going to be sending me a vet bill because that thing's going to come out in the in the colon. 01:08:18 Speaker 3: I am going to sue your ass off. 01:08:20 Speaker 1: God, this has been a disaster. 01:08:24 Speaker 3: Well, thank you again, Thank you and listener, the podcast is over. Uh you know, I hope you do whatever you want with your day. I am not in control of you. I'm I'm relinquishing control just for today. 01:08:38 Speaker 1: But we are judging. 01:08:39 Speaker 3: We are there will be judgment. This is kind of a test for the listener. Oh and now my construction person is knocking on the door. So this is the end of the podcast. 01:08:48 Speaker 1: Perfect time, goodbye, I love you. 01:08:54 Speaker 3: I said no Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced by our dear friend Analise Nelson, and it's beautifully mixed by Leona Squilatchi. And we couldn't do it without our guest booker, Patrick Cottner. The theme song, of course, could only come from miracle worker Amy Mann. You must follow the show on Instagram at I said no gifts, I don't want to hear any excuses. That's where you get to see pictures of all these gorgeous gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see pictures of the gifts? 01:09:24 Speaker 1: The line why did you hear? 01:09:28 Speaker 2: Though a man? Myself perfectly clear, But you're a guess to ma, you gotta come to me empty, and I said, no guests, your presences presence enough. I'm already had too much stuff, So how did you dan to survey me?