WEBVTT - Finally! A Show About Death Care Provider 0:00:02.759 --> 0:00:09.200 Good morning, Good morning, good girl, Good morning, little guy. 0:00:10.520 --> 0:00:12.360 Where are you, little guy? Which side of the bed 0:00:12.440 --> 0:00:17.000 are you on? Good morning, homies. It's dark at here 0:00:17.000 --> 0:00:22.279 in Washington right now. Today is the death anniversary of 0:00:22.320 --> 0:00:30.120 one of my most loving clients. He had als and 0:00:31.760 --> 0:00:34.800 was using medical aid and dying, so he was in 0:00:34.880 --> 0:00:39.640 control of his own timeline, and he chose to die 0:00:39.680 --> 0:00:44.480 and just surrounded by loving friends and family and. 0:00:46.720 --> 0:00:47.199 Music. 0:00:47.400 --> 0:00:51.960 Oh my god, music, the Beatles, songs, Beatles, Oh my God, 0:00:52.000 --> 0:01:00.560 not the Beatles. Grateful Dead, Oh Howard, I'm sorry, it's funny. 0:01:02.160 --> 0:01:06.959 This witch needs coffee. 0:01:08.280 --> 0:01:10.880 This is finally a show about a death care worker. 0:01:11.760 --> 0:01:14.800 Lashanna Williams runs a place to die in Seattle. 0:01:21.520 --> 0:01:26.319 My name is Lashana Williams. I am the daughter of 0:01:26.440 --> 0:01:32.199 Catherine and the granddaughter of Diane. I am a mother 0:01:32.360 --> 0:01:36.240 and a human of this world. My role in capitalism 0:01:36.800 --> 0:01:39.960 is a massage therapist, so it's very cushy. I get 0:01:40.000 --> 0:01:44.320 to generally see people when they're excited to see me, 0:01:44.480 --> 0:01:48.080 and they leave happy. I went to massage school and 0:01:49.240 --> 0:01:53.880 also started doing death care and volunteering at different hospices, 0:01:54.080 --> 0:01:57.360 and I took a couple of educational classes through this 0:01:57.400 --> 0:02:03.120 woman in Bellingham. In Massage, I had a friend Zoe 0:02:03.320 --> 0:02:06.840 from Alaska, who is about twenty years younger than me, 0:02:07.480 --> 0:02:13.480 and was just this ball of like fun and it 0:02:13.600 --> 0:02:18.040 was just silly and full of life. And one day 0:02:18.160 --> 0:02:20.280 we were at lunch with one of our teachers and 0:02:21.080 --> 0:02:24.919 Zoey said, we're going to go to birth doula school. 0:02:24.919 --> 0:02:27.840 And I looked at Zoe and our teacher and I 0:02:27.960 --> 0:02:30.080 was like, okay, I mean, if it means I get 0:02:30.120 --> 0:02:33.360 to hang out with you, I'll go do it. And 0:02:33.400 --> 0:02:36.840 my teacher looked at me and was like, no offense, 0:02:36.919 --> 0:02:39.680 but I probably would not hire you for a birth 0:02:39.760 --> 0:02:44.800 doul And I was like me either, me either. I 0:02:44.840 --> 0:02:48.840 have no desire to take care of pregnant people, no 0:02:48.960 --> 0:02:51.680 desire at all. I remember I was like, the please 0:02:51.760 --> 0:02:53.480 tick on my hair and give me ice chips? Is 0:02:53.520 --> 0:02:55.720 that a round ice chip? Because I really wanted square 0:02:56.080 --> 0:02:58.920 and I know I could not even take care of me. 0:02:59.120 --> 0:03:02.680 And my tea said, there's death du lists and I said, 0:03:02.680 --> 0:03:06.360 what what do you mean? And she told me about 0:03:06.400 --> 0:03:09.280 the teacher in Bellingham, and so I looked her up 0:03:09.280 --> 0:03:15.640 and all of that and started to volunteer for Providence Hospice, 0:03:16.320 --> 0:03:19.480 which was really awkward because they're a religious institution and 0:03:20.080 --> 0:03:26.520 I was really conflicted. They limit folks access to end 0:03:26.560 --> 0:03:28.679 of life choice on their hospice, so it was a 0:03:28.720 --> 0:03:32.680 struggle for me to even share my time with them. 0:03:33.040 --> 0:03:36.080 End of life choice is legal in eleven states in 0:03:36.120 --> 0:03:41.200 the Continent, and it allows you life ending medications when 0:03:41.200 --> 0:03:44.800 you have a terminal illness. Each date has like different 0:03:44.840 --> 0:03:48.520 parameters around it, like a different waiting period and how 0:03:48.560 --> 0:03:51.480 many doctors you have to see and stuff like that. 0:03:51.560 --> 0:03:54.200 And in Washington, our law was just updated, so our 0:03:54.240 --> 0:03:57.560 waiting period is now seven days and you still need 0:03:57.560 --> 0:04:01.200 two physicians, but it's the feen days. Too Many people 0:04:01.200 --> 0:04:04.120 were missing it because they don't find out until too 0:04:04.200 --> 0:04:07.280 late that they can actually have that choice, and then 0:04:07.320 --> 0:04:14.800 fourteen days was too long. So Providence and other religiously 0:04:14.800 --> 0:04:20.240 affiliated hospices don't allow people to They don't support folks 0:04:20.320 --> 0:04:22.520 in that process. They won't their doctors won't be a 0:04:22.560 --> 0:04:25.760 consulting doc or a prescribing doc, and those people have 0:04:25.800 --> 0:04:28.760 to look out outside of there, and also some of 0:04:28.760 --> 0:04:32.080 their policies around how you end your relationship with the 0:04:32.120 --> 0:04:35.720 people that you're volunteering with. It felt wrong to me, 0:04:35.920 --> 0:04:39.120 like when someone died. That was the end of your relationship. 0:04:39.600 --> 0:04:43.080 You didn't get to go say goodbye. Like the role 0:04:43.120 --> 0:04:45.320 that I was in was like when they died, I 0:04:45.400 --> 0:04:47.200 just didn't go over anymore. I filed out a report 0:04:47.240 --> 0:04:49.520 and I got a new person. I just want to 0:04:49.520 --> 0:04:51.280 come say goodbye. I would like to give you a 0:04:51.320 --> 0:04:53.200 hug and say thank you for sharing your time with me. 0:04:53.760 --> 0:04:58.839 And you know, you just lost someone. You have a 0:04:58.920 --> 0:05:02.160 caring relationship with the people that you are spending time with, 0:05:02.560 --> 0:05:04.960 and so that just felt very out of line with 0:05:05.040 --> 0:05:08.320 my integrity. And even more so when I showed up 0:05:08.680 --> 0:05:12.919 at a funeral and saw four other people from the 0:05:12.960 --> 0:05:15.640 hospice at the funeral, I was like, Yeah, what are 0:05:15.640 --> 0:05:19.720 we doing. We all care and we're all breaking the rules, 0:05:20.200 --> 0:05:23.040 Like this is not okay, and so I stopped. I 0:05:23.080 --> 0:05:28.800 stopped that and did more training with Ashley up in Bellingham, 0:05:29.120 --> 0:05:33.719 and over time, the type of care that I provided 0:05:33.760 --> 0:05:37.760 to elders, death care and massage sort of started to 0:05:37.800 --> 0:05:41.440 mix and mingle. It's very much when I first got 0:05:41.440 --> 0:05:46.080 started in death care. It is community care. It's not 0:05:46.279 --> 0:05:50.559 really like a client relationships. It was more we would 0:05:50.560 --> 0:05:54.000 experience like a traumatic or a sudden death and people 0:05:54.000 --> 0:05:57.839 would be like, I don't know what to do. And 0:05:57.880 --> 0:06:00.280 in small communities, when you have a person, you know, 0:06:01.040 --> 0:06:02.520 I have a person who knows what they do, so 0:06:02.520 --> 0:06:06.520 folks would be like call of Shauna. Today we are 0:06:06.640 --> 0:06:11.760 holding our first Sunday morning m oh you are an 0:06:11.800 --> 0:06:16.040 I ng which is a space for us to just 0:06:16.080 --> 0:06:21.560 gather and be in our grief, not with a particular focus, 0:06:22.080 --> 0:06:26.080 but having a space where there's a fire and something 0:06:26.120 --> 0:06:28.560 warm to drink was were the two things that we 0:06:28.640 --> 0:06:33.640 knew we could do repeatedly and be able to show 0:06:33.760 --> 0:06:37.960 up and be present. And so that's really what my 0:06:38.120 --> 0:06:41.920 death care looked like for years was community situations. And 0:06:41.920 --> 0:06:44.080 then that's where we are. We are in our community 0:06:44.120 --> 0:06:46.040 care home in South Seattle. 0:06:49.200 --> 0:06:49.760 A little. 0:06:52.960 --> 0:06:57.479 Good morning, how are you? 0:06:57.760 --> 0:06:59.080 It looks so pretty in here? 0:06:59.480 --> 0:07:12.280 Thank you? Thank you? Yeah? 0:07:13.840 --> 0:07:16.480 Would it be okay if we introduced our selves. I 0:07:16.520 --> 0:07:19.360 would love for everybody send them all, like whatever you 0:07:19.360 --> 0:07:22.600 want to share with folks? 0:07:24.000 --> 0:07:24.880 Do you want to start here? 0:07:28.960 --> 0:07:30.200 I don't know what I want to say. 0:07:33.320 --> 0:07:39.240 Yeah, I'm Aaron. I use the or heat pronouns. I 0:07:39.320 --> 0:07:42.280 kind of have like a windy, roundabout relationship with ASP, 0:07:42.480 --> 0:07:46.320 but I'm stepping more into working with you all directly, 0:07:46.400 --> 0:07:51.600 and I just love being in Sally's house and building community. 0:07:53.000 --> 0:07:55.960 And I'm feeling really heavy about the world right now, 0:07:56.040 --> 0:07:57.760 so that's most of why I'm here. 0:08:00.880 --> 0:08:04.160 I had a massage client who is Sally Bailey, and 0:08:04.280 --> 0:08:07.480 Sally Bailey was the owner of this house that we're 0:08:07.520 --> 0:08:10.640 in right now, and I would come see Sally once 0:08:10.640 --> 0:08:13.200 a week for a massage and one day she said, 0:08:13.320 --> 0:08:16.840 I googled you and I said, okay, what did you 0:08:16.960 --> 0:08:19.800 What did you find? Sally? And she said, how come 0:08:19.800 --> 0:08:21.840 you didn't tell me about all this school shit you do? 0:08:22.920 --> 0:08:26.600 It's like I didn't tell you about that because I 0:08:26.640 --> 0:08:31.480 was here for you, you know. Two thy and eighteen, 0:08:32.800 --> 0:08:37.200 I was given the nonprofit a sacred passing by Ashley 0:08:37.320 --> 0:08:40.680 Benham from who was in Bellingham at the time, the 0:08:40.800 --> 0:08:44.640 school that I had studied in. The founder she said, 0:08:44.840 --> 0:08:48.480 I'm going to go to a nursing school and here's 0:08:48.520 --> 0:08:54.000 this wily teenager of a nonprofit for you, and like 0:08:54.120 --> 0:08:58.160 any any good scorpio, I said, thank you, and we 0:08:58.320 --> 0:09:02.240 changed it. There was a good solid base for death care. 0:09:02.320 --> 0:09:05.440 But what I had learned over years of caring for 0:09:05.520 --> 0:09:08.920 other people was that it was a very prescriptive method 0:09:08.960 --> 0:09:11.559 that I had learned from, like it was a recipe, 0:09:12.040 --> 0:09:15.959 and that recipe is not for everybody at all. It 0:09:16.000 --> 0:09:21.360 was a very clear set of procedures from the founder's 0:09:21.760 --> 0:09:26.160 perspective of this is how we present ourselves. This is 0:09:26.200 --> 0:09:29.199 how we look, This is how our hair is, this 0:09:29.280 --> 0:09:33.040 is our jewelry is, this is our clothing, This is 0:09:33.120 --> 0:09:37.000 how we greet people. You know, don't wear more than 0:09:37.040 --> 0:09:41.200 two pairs of earrings at once. My hair was a 0:09:41.240 --> 0:09:44.120 few different colors and that was inappropriate. So it was 0:09:44.160 --> 0:09:50.520 this whole. It was like a medicalized and professionalized method 0:09:50.559 --> 0:09:55.520 of caring for folks dressed in community care. A small 0:09:55.559 --> 0:09:59.000 group of us started to look at the curriculum and 0:09:59.040 --> 0:10:01.280 just add to it, and we were adding to it 0:10:01.320 --> 0:10:05.360 and adding to it, and pretty soon it just it 0:10:05.400 --> 0:10:08.560 looked different. And over the last few years we have 0:10:09.320 --> 0:10:17.640 developed what feels like a really wonderful open way to 0:10:17.679 --> 0:10:20.800 practice death care for folks, to sort of give them 0:10:21.720 --> 0:10:25.560 a pool to move in and figure out what is 0:10:25.600 --> 0:10:28.720 your what does your care look like? In that time, 0:10:28.800 --> 0:10:31.680 a sacred passing started our program A Place to Die. 0:10:32.440 --> 0:10:36.400 So A Place to Die is three years old. It 0:10:36.440 --> 0:10:39.719 is a program exactly that if someone knows that they 0:10:39.720 --> 0:10:42.880 are very near the end of their life and they 0:10:43.320 --> 0:10:46.320 want to die at home or out of a facility, 0:10:46.679 --> 0:10:48.800 I mean, for any reason. We don't ask why. We 0:10:49.000 --> 0:10:53.440 just welcome people. Sometimes folks they don't want their family 0:10:53.480 --> 0:10:56.280 to have the memory of them dying at home, and 0:10:56.320 --> 0:10:58.040 so they would like to die in a home, but 0:10:58.080 --> 0:11:01.160 not their home. Other times, people don't have a home, 0:11:01.760 --> 0:11:05.000 or they are on a hospice and want to use 0:11:05.080 --> 0:11:08.960 medical aid and dying and can't do it, or they're 0:11:08.960 --> 0:11:12.280 in a private care home and the private care home 0:11:12.520 --> 0:11:16.360 will not let them ingest on site. So many people 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:19.840 have been moved on their last day of life to 0:11:19.920 --> 0:11:25.360 our homes because their facility won't let them. It's painful, 0:11:26.360 --> 0:11:28.760 it's not what they want to be doing. It's new, 0:11:30.400 --> 0:11:35.640 and also everybody has been wildly thankful. And what a 0:11:35.679 --> 0:11:40.120 place that I started as is people sharing a room 0:11:40.320 --> 0:11:43.640 in their home. There's so many people living in these 0:11:43.640 --> 0:11:46.160 houses that are too big for them, and our houses 0:11:46.240 --> 0:11:50.760 are absolutely unaffordable, and there's so many people living without 0:11:50.840 --> 0:11:54.960 shelter that we were like, we have to share. There 0:11:54.960 --> 0:11:56.920 has to be people who are willing to share, and 0:11:57.400 --> 0:12:00.880 we wound up gathering eight people. And what that means 0:12:01.040 --> 0:12:03.839 is this person just has to share the room in 0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:05.840 their home. They don't have to do any of the 0:12:05.920 --> 0:12:08.280 care work. We will clean it up, we will do 0:12:08.360 --> 0:12:10.240 all of the things. Your room just needs to be 0:12:10.280 --> 0:12:13.600 available to us. And during the pandemic we were allowed to. 0:12:13.960 --> 0:12:16.160 We received people in who wanted to be with their 0:12:16.200 --> 0:12:18.679 family where they couldn't be if they were in a 0:12:18.760 --> 0:12:21.600 nursing home. Could they be transferred to our places? Yes, 0:12:22.080 --> 0:12:25.439 and then their family could come in. And so that 0:12:25.720 --> 0:12:28.640 like we did that. That was when a place that 0:12:28.760 --> 0:12:31.079 I started. And so then Sally was like, oh, I 0:12:31.120 --> 0:12:32.600 want to do a death plan. So she did a 0:12:32.640 --> 0:12:35.320 death plan and she wanted this then to be a 0:12:35.360 --> 0:12:37.320 place to die. She's like, how does my house do that? 0:12:37.440 --> 0:12:38.880 I was like, you just do that. You want to 0:12:38.880 --> 0:12:41.120 share a room? She's like, I got all these rooms 0:12:41.280 --> 0:12:43.200 and so I was like okay. She's like, well, actually 0:12:43.240 --> 0:12:45.360 I want you to have the house when I die. 0:12:46.080 --> 0:12:48.120 And I was like okay. You know, like people say 0:12:48.160 --> 0:12:50.640 things all the time, and I just kept coming for 0:12:50.720 --> 0:12:53.720 massage and one day she called and asked me to 0:12:53.720 --> 0:12:57.880 come over. And I was out with my neighbor at 0:12:57.880 --> 0:13:01.040 the time, and so we came over and she opened 0:13:01.120 --> 0:13:05.040 up the door with flowers like a housewarming plant, and 0:13:05.480 --> 0:13:13.320 the quick claim deed, that's like what what I was like, 0:13:13.679 --> 0:13:17.319 I need to like record this for my own memory. 0:13:17.400 --> 0:13:19.000 I feel like I'm not going to remember any of it. 0:13:19.679 --> 0:13:21.240 And so we sat down and we talked about it, 0:13:21.280 --> 0:13:24.160 and so there's a video of Sally talking about why 0:13:24.320 --> 0:13:24.920 she did this. 0:13:26.080 --> 0:13:29.480 Sally, will you tell us what you're doing with this house? 0:13:30.280 --> 0:13:34.920 I am giving it to you so that you can 0:13:34.960 --> 0:13:36.000 help people. 0:13:37.920 --> 0:13:43.280 Have a place to go, a place to be before 0:13:44.360 --> 0:13:48.520 they go, a place for their family to be before 0:13:48.559 --> 0:13:48.920 they go. 0:13:50.559 --> 0:13:51.040 To be. 0:13:51.320 --> 0:13:56.720 I don't know, out of the churm of the housing market, 0:13:57.080 --> 0:14:00.160 which is in human. When you say me, I mean 0:14:00.200 --> 0:14:04.840 a sacred passing guess, but I also mean you. 0:14:06.600 --> 0:14:07.679 Because I trust you. 0:14:09.040 --> 0:14:17.120 I trust your integrity, your humanity, your steadfast, okay, stubbornness, 0:14:19.560 --> 0:14:22.480 and I like what you're doing. 0:14:23.840 --> 0:14:25.120 And you've helped me so much. 0:14:26.600 --> 0:14:27.800 The point is it's. 0:14:27.680 --> 0:14:33.720 Not being used by the capitalist system at We can 0:14:34.160 --> 0:14:39.400 bypass it if we think hard enough of ways to 0:14:39.520 --> 0:14:44.120 do this. And now I just wish that I had 0:14:44.240 --> 0:14:47.440 enough income to take the tax deduction. 0:14:48.160 --> 0:14:49.280 For this donation. 0:15:02.680 --> 0:15:05.920 Sally had had a hard time, feeling like of a 0:15:05.960 --> 0:15:10.720 group of people, feeling belonging, and she wanted this space 0:15:10.800 --> 0:15:14.240 to be just that. She wanted to be of use. 0:15:14.320 --> 0:15:17.800 There's a poem by March Percy called to be of Use, 0:15:18.360 --> 0:15:20.760 which she sent me, and she said, this is this 0:15:20.840 --> 0:15:24.440 is what I this is my dream. And she died 0:15:24.440 --> 0:15:30.080 on April twentieth of twenty twenty three. In here. She 0:15:31.240 --> 0:15:34.000 has always been a person who just did her did 0:15:34.040 --> 0:15:37.800 what she wanted to do, and she she did the 0:15:37.840 --> 0:15:39.320 same thing all the way through her death. 0:15:54.840 --> 0:15:57.000 My mother had a very like she wasn't religious, but 0:15:57.080 --> 0:16:00.400 she was very spiritual, and she had that feel that 0:16:01.120 --> 0:16:04.080 everything always happens for the best, that kind of like 0:16:04.320 --> 0:16:07.200 everything is supposed to happen, and. 0:16:06.800 --> 0:16:08.680 And so I was raised like that. So it's it's 0:16:08.800 --> 0:16:13.160 very strong in me. And then once she passed, I'm like, 0:16:13.760 --> 0:16:17.680 we that's supposed to happen. No, there's like no universe 0:16:17.800 --> 0:16:19.520 where this is the best. 0:16:19.280 --> 0:16:21.400 Thing that could happen. And so. 0:16:23.200 --> 0:16:26.360 I'm kind of like find it's been five years, it's 0:16:26.400 --> 0:16:29.040 incredible all the time past. So it's especially with the 0:16:29.040 --> 0:16:33.960 pandemic and everything. Uh, but kind of finding my way 0:16:34.000 --> 0:16:39.760 back spiritually, uh, after like something that there's no universe 0:16:39.840 --> 0:16:44.400 for this is the best case scenario. How do you get. 0:16:44.240 --> 0:16:49.040 Back to everything happens for a reason, and and I 0:16:49.040 --> 0:16:51.560 can see the universe's reasons. 0:16:52.200 --> 0:16:56.520 I hate them, but I see them, and it's just 0:16:56.760 --> 0:16:59.560 kind of I think that's something that would probably while 0:16:59.560 --> 0:17:02.880 balance with grief. Also, how do you how do you 0:17:03.160 --> 0:17:06.320 like kind of like hold up your spiritual belief. 0:17:06.000 --> 0:17:08.040 In the face of grief and loss. 0:17:12.840 --> 0:17:24.560 Yeah, I know, I know, Yeah, you're great. 0:17:27.600 --> 0:17:32.600 I would like to die in a non scary, painful way. 0:17:32.840 --> 0:17:36.120 I would like to not die in an act of violence. 0:17:38.040 --> 0:17:41.600 I would like not to die by the hands of someone. 0:17:41.920 --> 0:17:45.679 I don't want to die yet. I'm not afraid of it, 0:17:46.160 --> 0:17:47.480 but I don't want to die yet. I like to 0:17:47.520 --> 0:17:51.240 just always put that out into the universe and outside 0:17:51.240 --> 0:17:54.159 of those things, I think I will be able to 0:17:54.160 --> 0:17:57.920 see the joy in anything. If I'm at home, there's 0:17:57.920 --> 0:17:59.919 a reason I'm at home. If I'm not able to 0:17:59.920 --> 0:18:04.480 be at home, there's a good reason. My kids are hilarious. 0:18:04.520 --> 0:18:06.600 My daughter will not take care of me. She's already said, 0:18:06.600 --> 0:18:08.640 I will help Dante pay for it. We will put 0:18:08.680 --> 0:18:12.800 you in a wonderful home. And my son is like mom, 0:18:12.880 --> 0:18:15.359 I'll take care of you. I do a lot of 0:18:15.400 --> 0:18:19.080 medical aid and dying care work. It's either medical aid 0:18:19.080 --> 0:18:21.679 and dying or it's a traumatic death. That are like 0:18:21.720 --> 0:18:25.640 the predominant sides of my death care work. I am 0:18:25.720 --> 0:18:30.120 a volunteer with End of Life Washington and they are 0:18:30.359 --> 0:18:35.760 a nonprofit that was started and successfully achieved medical aid 0:18:35.800 --> 0:18:39.639 and dying in Washington State. They started with volunteers to 0:18:39.760 --> 0:18:42.320 like just help people through the process and in the 0:18:42.320 --> 0:18:46.159 state of Washington now medical facilities depend on End of 0:18:46.200 --> 0:18:48.639 Life Washington to do that, and especially the ones that 0:18:48.720 --> 0:18:52.480 are religious, and so they have about one hundred volunteers 0:18:52.560 --> 0:18:56.359 and so people will be referred to them and they 0:18:56.400 --> 0:18:59.600 send out a request can someone help this person? And 0:18:59.760 --> 0:19:03.320 so what we do w in that situation is we 0:19:03.480 --> 0:19:08.640 will learn about someone's condition and then work to get 0:19:08.640 --> 0:19:11.560 them set up with medical providers and depending on what 0:19:11.600 --> 0:19:15.440 that person wants and the volunteer's ability, like the type 0:19:15.440 --> 0:19:18.720 of care they get shifts. Mine is like a full 0:19:18.760 --> 0:19:20.440 care if they would like it. I do a lot 0:19:20.440 --> 0:19:22.600 of things that most of the other volunteers are like, 0:19:22.680 --> 0:19:25.439 what why are you doing that. I will sit there 0:19:25.480 --> 0:19:27.720 and talk with someone about a death plan, do you 0:19:27.800 --> 0:19:30.119 want to do this, what are we going to do 0:19:30.160 --> 0:19:33.640 with your body afterwards? Where that's not a typical thing 0:19:33.920 --> 0:19:36.360 that folks will talk about, but I know from being 0:19:36.359 --> 0:19:38.760 in those situations a lot of times when someone then 0:19:39.160 --> 0:19:42.000 dies on their medical aid and dying medicine, folks will 0:19:42.000 --> 0:19:43.320 then look at me and say, Okay, what do we 0:19:43.359 --> 0:19:47.040 do now. I don't want those situations. It's not fun 0:19:47.160 --> 0:19:50.879 for anybody, and so I try to do all of 0:19:50.920 --> 0:19:54.520 that with the people I help in advance. I predominantly 0:19:54.560 --> 0:19:57.479 see folks with cancer using medical aid and dying. In 0:19:57.640 --> 0:20:01.199 Washington State, medical aid and dying is not accessible to 0:20:01.240 --> 0:20:06.080 you if you have Alzheimer's or dementia immediately upon a diagnosis. 0:20:06.560 --> 0:20:10.359 So you could be diagnosed today and be perfectly fine 0:20:10.359 --> 0:20:12.119 and just understand that this is going to be a 0:20:12.119 --> 0:20:15.359 progressive disease, and you still do not have your choice 0:20:15.400 --> 0:20:19.639 from that point on what Folks who have those like 0:20:19.680 --> 0:20:23.440 Alzheimer's or dimension they often choose voluntary stopping of eating 0:20:23.520 --> 0:20:26.560 and drinking, which is called VSAID, and we support that 0:20:26.640 --> 0:20:29.879 here too, and VSAID is a longer process, but with 0:20:30.000 --> 0:20:34.520 medical support, with a hospice who's willing to prescribe a 0:20:34.520 --> 0:20:40.639 certain regiment of medications that hospices prescribe for everybody, the 0:20:40.680 --> 0:20:45.360 thirst and the hunger is really easily mitigated. It sounds 0:20:46.119 --> 0:20:50.000 preposterous and wild because we are so intrinsically linked to 0:20:50.119 --> 0:20:53.240 water and food, and food means so many things to 0:20:53.320 --> 0:21:00.000 so many people, Like not eating sounds hard and uncomfortable. 0:21:00.680 --> 0:21:05.239 And V said, with medical support have been some of 0:21:05.280 --> 0:21:10.360 the like Calmus deaths that I've seen. They're longer than 0:21:10.480 --> 0:21:14.359 medical aid and dying and require much more care, but 0:21:14.640 --> 0:21:17.600 it's still someone being able to make their choice and 0:21:18.320 --> 0:21:20.760 the people who love them are there caring for them. 0:21:21.920 --> 0:21:26.840 I have seen, like the healing for the people around 0:21:27.080 --> 0:21:31.960 after that is so much different folks who are using 0:21:32.000 --> 0:21:34.800 medical aid and dying And V said, like they say 0:21:34.840 --> 0:21:37.359 the things they wanted to say, They see the people 0:21:37.400 --> 0:21:40.000 they wanted to see, they do the things they wanted 0:21:40.040 --> 0:21:45.560 to do, And while it's sad and devastating, there is 0:21:45.600 --> 0:21:51.879 an amount of pressure that's like released from the emotional 0:21:51.960 --> 0:21:57.040 valve that folks experience in those processes because they know 0:21:57.680 --> 0:22:03.399 it's not a surprise, and just that understanding allows you 0:22:03.480 --> 0:22:05.920 to like be present in that situation so differently. 0:22:06.960 --> 0:22:11.000 That's incredibly relateable. I've had similar experiences, like on a 0:22:11.040 --> 0:22:13.600 personal level, but it also feels like that's kind of 0:22:13.640 --> 0:22:16.240 how people are reacting at large over a lot of 0:22:16.240 --> 0:22:19.040 things right now, just like they don't want to hear 0:22:19.080 --> 0:22:22.840 a bummer, you know, like they just want to chug 0:22:22.880 --> 0:22:25.719 along and like get whatever joy they can, which you know, 0:22:26.480 --> 0:22:29.640 I can't really argue with on some level, but it's 0:22:29.680 --> 0:22:33.120 also not how we You know, you have to show 0:22:33.160 --> 0:22:34.560 up for grief and you have to show up for 0:22:34.600 --> 0:22:37.280 the world or nothing is ever going to get better 0:22:37.840 --> 0:22:40.560 to like take that energy to a loved line to 0:22:40.600 --> 0:22:43.280 be like, hey, like this is sad and you need 0:22:43.320 --> 0:22:43.800 to be here. 0:22:44.080 --> 0:22:48.800 Like it's it's a big ask and it sucks to 0:22:48.840 --> 0:22:52.320 feel like the bummer. But also like if you're not 0:22:52.400 --> 0:22:55.760 doing that, you're it just feels like you're painting without 0:22:55.760 --> 0:22:56.840 all the colors, you know. 0:22:56.800 --> 0:22:59.040 Like you just you need to have that breadth of 0:23:00.160 --> 0:23:00.960 experience to. 0:23:02.760 --> 0:23:03.199 Show up. 0:23:03.240 --> 0:23:03.840 I guess you know. 0:23:18.600 --> 0:23:23.520 Medical aid and dying, the process of it is when 0:23:23.560 --> 0:23:28.040 you get a prescription, you get the compounded prescription, which 0:23:28.080 --> 0:23:33.960 is made up of a heart stimulant, a pain killer, 0:23:34.520 --> 0:23:41.199 an anti seizure medication, a respiratory suppressant, and there's one 0:23:41.240 --> 0:23:44.639 other I can't think of at the moment. But you 0:23:44.680 --> 0:23:48.159 get this compounded prescription and it's like a dust and 0:23:48.200 --> 0:23:50.000 you have to add a liquid to it. And so 0:23:50.119 --> 0:23:52.960 you get that, and you get an anti anxiety pill 0:23:53.280 --> 0:23:56.520 and a anti nausea pill. Well you take those and 0:23:56.560 --> 0:23:59.000 you wait an hour, let your belly get sort of settled. 0:23:59.320 --> 0:24:03.119 And everybody says that anti anxiety medicine is bullshit, doesn't work. 0:24:03.520 --> 0:24:06.280 They're like, this is what they give me. I'm like, hey, 0:24:06.320 --> 0:24:10.240 I know, you can take whatever you would like as 0:24:10.280 --> 0:24:12.159 long as you don't fall asleep. So if you have 0:24:12.240 --> 0:24:14.240 other tools that you would like to do, go ahead 0:24:15.119 --> 0:24:17.919 whatever you want. Just know that if you fall asleep, 0:24:17.920 --> 0:24:23.040 you're gonna wake up and be like what I cared 0:24:23.040 --> 0:24:26.640 for a gentleman once who wanted to ingest his medicine 0:24:26.920 --> 0:24:30.880 at four o'clock and I said, okay, I'll come over. Well, 0:24:30.920 --> 0:24:34.080 at three forty five, his regular care person gave him 0:24:34.080 --> 0:24:40.320 his meds, which one of them was a xanax, and 0:24:40.359 --> 0:24:44.320 then combined with our next meds fifteen minutes later, it 0:24:44.400 --> 0:24:47.240 put him to sleep. None of us understood, like I 0:24:47.240 --> 0:24:50.679 didn't know he had those medicines from his normal care provider. 0:24:50.760 --> 0:24:52.520 So he was like, I'm going to use the restroom. 0:24:52.960 --> 0:24:55.400 And you went to use the restroom and fell asleep there, 0:24:56.600 --> 0:25:00.159 so we had to move him to his bed. He 0:25:00.240 --> 0:25:05.720 woke up and was like what it didn't work and 0:25:05.760 --> 0:25:07.199 we were like, no, you didn't take it yet. You 0:25:07.200 --> 0:25:08.879 didn't take it yet, you fell asleep, and he was like, 0:25:08.920 --> 0:25:10.120 what do you mean I fell asleep? 0:25:10.160 --> 0:25:10.240 Like. 0:25:10.280 --> 0:25:14.399 He was so pissed, so pissed, and we were like, no, 0:25:14.440 --> 0:25:16.040 it's right here, like you can still take it, and 0:25:16.080 --> 0:25:18.679 he did and he took it and he took just 0:25:18.840 --> 0:25:21.600 a little bit of it and said, this tastes like shit. 0:25:22.240 --> 0:25:26.240 I'm not taking anymore. It's bitter. It's bitter and it burns. 0:25:26.680 --> 0:25:30.480 It's ridiculous. With as much technology as we have and 0:25:30.560 --> 0:25:34.040 as many pink amoxacillin bottles I've seen in my day, 0:25:34.560 --> 0:25:38.680 I am livid that it doesn't taste good. But it worked, 0:25:39.119 --> 0:25:43.159 and that was it. After the medicine, someone will be 0:25:43.240 --> 0:25:47.119 awake for roughly five to ten minutes, and I always 0:25:47.119 --> 0:25:49.680 tell people like that time period will go so much 0:25:49.720 --> 0:25:52.240 faster than you ever think it will. It will feel 0:25:52.280 --> 0:25:55.879 like one minute. And so it's very important when I 0:25:55.920 --> 0:25:58.080