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Speaker 1: Good morning, Good morning, good girl, Good morning, little guy.

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Speaker 1: Where are you, little guy? Which side of the bed

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Speaker 1: are you on? Good morning, homies. It's dark at here

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Speaker 1: in Washington right now. Today is the death anniversary of

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Speaker 1: one of my most loving clients. He had als and

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Speaker 1: was using medical aid and dying, so he was in

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Speaker 1: control of his own timeline, and he chose to die

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Speaker 1: and just surrounded by loving friends and family and.

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Speaker 2: Music.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, music, the Beatles, songs, Beatles, Oh my God,

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Speaker 1: not the Beatles. Grateful Dead, Oh Howard, I'm sorry, it's funny.

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Speaker 1: This witch needs coffee.

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Speaker 3: This is finally a show about a death care worker.

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Speaker 4: Lashanna Williams runs a place to die in Seattle.

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Speaker 1: My name is Lashana Williams. I am the daughter of

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Speaker 1: Catherine and the granddaughter of Diane. I am a mother

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Speaker 1: and a human of this world. My role in capitalism

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Speaker 1: is a massage therapist, so it's very cushy. I get

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Speaker 1: to generally see people when they're excited to see me,

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Speaker 1: and they leave happy. I went to massage school and

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Speaker 1: also started doing death care and volunteering at different hospices,

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Speaker 1: and I took a couple of educational classes through this

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Speaker 1: woman in Bellingham. In Massage, I had a friend Zoe

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Speaker 1: from Alaska, who is about twenty years younger than me,

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Speaker 1: and was just this ball of like fun and it

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Speaker 1: was just silly and full of life. And one day

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Speaker 1: we were at lunch with one of our teachers and

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Speaker 1: Zoey said, we're going to go to birth doula school.

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Speaker 1: And I looked at Zoe and our teacher and I

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Speaker 1: was like, okay, I mean, if it means I get

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Speaker 1: to hang out with you, I'll go do it. And

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Speaker 1: my teacher looked at me and was like, no offense,

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Speaker 1: but I probably would not hire you for a birth

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Speaker 1: doul And I was like me either, me either. I

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Speaker 1: have no desire to take care of pregnant people, no

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Speaker 1: desire at all. I remember I was like, the please

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Speaker 1: tick on my hair and give me ice chips? Is

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Speaker 1: that a round ice chip? Because I really wanted square

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Speaker 1: and I know I could not even take care of me.

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Speaker 1: And my tea said, there's death du lists and I said,

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Speaker 1: what what do you mean? And she told me about

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Speaker 1: the teacher in Bellingham, and so I looked her up

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Speaker 1: and all of that and started to volunteer for Providence Hospice,

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Speaker 1: which was really awkward because they're a religious institution and

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Speaker 1: I was really conflicted. They limit folks access to end

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Speaker 1: of life choice on their hospice, so it was a

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Speaker 1: struggle for me to even share my time with them.

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Speaker 1: End of life choice is legal in eleven states in

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Speaker 1: the Continent, and it allows you life ending medications when

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Speaker 1: you have a terminal illness. Each date has like different

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Speaker 1: parameters around it, like a different waiting period and how

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Speaker 1: many doctors you have to see and stuff like that.

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Speaker 1: And in Washington, our law was just updated, so our

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Speaker 1: waiting period is now seven days and you still need

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Speaker 1: two physicians, but it's the feen days. Too Many people

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Speaker 1: were missing it because they don't find out until too

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Speaker 1: late that they can actually have that choice, and then

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Speaker 1: fourteen days was too long. So Providence and other religiously

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Speaker 1: affiliated hospices don't allow people to They don't support folks

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Speaker 1: in that process. They won't their doctors won't be a

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Speaker 1: consulting doc or a prescribing doc, and those people have

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Speaker 1: to look out outside of there, and also some of

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Speaker 1: their policies around how you end your relationship with the

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Speaker 1: people that you're volunteering with. It felt wrong to me,

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Speaker 1: like when someone died. That was the end of your relationship.

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Speaker 1: You didn't get to go say goodbye. Like the role

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Speaker 1: that I was in was like when they died, I

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Speaker 1: just didn't go over anymore. I filed out a report

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Speaker 1: and I got a new person. I just want to

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Speaker 1: come say goodbye. I would like to give you a

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Speaker 1: hug and say thank you for sharing your time with me.

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Speaker 1: And you know, you just lost someone. You have a

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Speaker 1: caring relationship with the people that you are spending time with,

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Speaker 1: and so that just felt very out of line with

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Speaker 1: my integrity. And even more so when I showed up

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Speaker 1: at a funeral and saw four other people from the

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Speaker 1: hospice at the funeral, I was like, Yeah, what are

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Speaker 1: we doing. We all care and we're all breaking the rules,

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Speaker 1: Like this is not okay, and so I stopped. I

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Speaker 1: stopped that and did more training with Ashley up in Bellingham,

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Speaker 1: and over time, the type of care that I provided

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Speaker 1: to elders, death care and massage sort of started to

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Speaker 1: mix and mingle. It's very much when I first got

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Speaker 1: started in death care. It is community care. It's not

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Speaker 1: really like a client relationships. It was more we would

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Speaker 1: experience like a traumatic or a sudden death and people

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Speaker 1: would be like, I don't know what to do. And

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Speaker 1: in small communities, when you have a person, you know,

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Speaker 1: I have a person who knows what they do, so

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Speaker 1: folks would be like call of Shauna. Today we are

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Speaker 1: holding our first Sunday morning m oh you are an

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Speaker 1: I ng which is a space for us to just

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Speaker 1: gather and be in our grief, not with a particular focus,

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Speaker 1: but having a space where there's a fire and something

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Speaker 1: warm to drink was were the two things that we

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Speaker 1: knew we could do repeatedly and be able to show

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Speaker 1: up and be present. And so that's really what my

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Speaker 1: death care looked like for years was community situations. And

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Speaker 1: then that's where we are. We are in our community

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Speaker 1: care home in South Seattle.

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Speaker 5: A little.

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Speaker 2: Good morning, how are you?

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Speaker 3: It looks so pretty in here?

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Speaker 2: Thank you? Thank you? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Would it be okay if we introduced our selves. I

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Speaker 3: would love for everybody send them all, like whatever you

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Speaker 3: want to share with folks?

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Speaker 2: Do you want to start here?

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Speaker 1: I don't know what I want to say.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm Aaron. I use the or heat pronouns. I

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Speaker 4: kind of have like a windy, roundabout relationship with ASP,

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Speaker 4: but I'm stepping more into working with you all directly,

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Speaker 4: and I just love being in Sally's house and building community.

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Speaker 4: And I'm feeling really heavy about the world right now,

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Speaker 4: so that's most of why I'm here.

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Speaker 1: I had a massage client who is Sally Bailey, and

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Speaker 1: Sally Bailey was the owner of this house that we're

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Speaker 1: in right now, and I would come see Sally once

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Speaker 1: a week for a massage and one day she said,

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Speaker 1: I googled you and I said, okay, what did you

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Speaker 1: What did you find? Sally? And she said, how come

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Speaker 1: you didn't tell me about all this school shit you do?

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Speaker 1: It's like I didn't tell you about that because I

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Speaker 1: was here for you, you know. Two thy and eighteen,

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Speaker 1: I was given the nonprofit a sacred passing by Ashley

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Speaker 1: Benham from who was in Bellingham at the time, the

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Speaker 1: school that I had studied in. The founder she said,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to go to a nursing school and here's

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Speaker 1: this wily teenager of a nonprofit for you, and like

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Speaker 1: any any good scorpio, I said, thank you, and we

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Speaker 1: changed it. There was a good solid base for death care.

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Speaker 1: But what I had learned over years of caring for

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Speaker 1: other people was that it was a very prescriptive method

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Speaker 1: that I had learned from, like it was a recipe,

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Speaker 1: and that recipe is not for everybody at all. It

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Speaker 1: was a very clear set of procedures from the founder's

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Speaker 1: perspective of this is how we present ourselves. This is

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Speaker 1: how we look, This is how our hair is, this

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Speaker 1: is our jewelry is, this is our clothing, This is

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Speaker 1: how we greet people. You know, don't wear more than

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Speaker 1: two pairs of earrings at once. My hair was a

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Speaker 1: few different colors and that was inappropriate. So it was

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Speaker 1: this whole. It was like a medicalized and professionalized method

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Speaker 1: of caring for folks dressed in community care. A small

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Speaker 1: group of us started to look at the curriculum and

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Speaker 1: just add to it, and we were adding to it

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Speaker 1: and adding to it, and pretty soon it just it

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Speaker 1: looked different. And over the last few years we have

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Speaker 1: developed what feels like a really wonderful open way to

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Speaker 1: practice death care for folks, to sort of give them

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Speaker 1: a pool to move in and figure out what is

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Speaker 1: your what does your care look like? In that time,

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Speaker 1: a sacred passing started our program A Place to Die.

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Speaker 1: So A Place to Die is three years old. It

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Speaker 1: is a program exactly that if someone knows that they

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Speaker 1: are very near the end of their life and they

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Speaker 1: want to die at home or out of a facility,

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Speaker 1: I mean, for any reason. We don't ask why. We

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Speaker 1: just welcome people. Sometimes folks they don't want their family

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Speaker 1: to have the memory of them dying at home, and

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Speaker 1: so they would like to die in a home, but

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Speaker 1: not their home. Other times, people don't have a home,

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Speaker 1: or they are on a hospice and want to use

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Speaker 1: medical aid and dying and can't do it, or they're

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Speaker 1: in a private care home and the private care home

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Speaker 1: will not let them ingest on site. So many people

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Speaker 1: have been moved on their last day of life to

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Speaker 1: our homes because their facility won't let them. It's painful,

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Speaker 1: it's not what they want to be doing. It's new,

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Speaker 1: and also everybody has been wildly thankful. And what a

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Speaker 1: place that I started as is people sharing a room

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Speaker 1: in their home. There's so many people living in these

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Speaker 1: houses that are too big for them, and our houses

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Speaker 1: are absolutely unaffordable, and there's so many people living without

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Speaker 1: shelter that we were like, we have to share. There

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Speaker 1: has to be people who are willing to share, and

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Speaker 1: we wound up gathering eight people. And what that means

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Speaker 1: is this person just has to share the room in

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Speaker 1: their home. They don't have to do any of the

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Speaker 1: care work. We will clean it up, we will do

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Speaker 1: all of the things. Your room just needs to be

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Speaker 1: available to us. And during the pandemic we were allowed to.

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Speaker 1: We received people in who wanted to be with their

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Speaker 1: family where they couldn't be if they were in a

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Speaker 1: nursing home. Could they be transferred to our places? Yes,

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Speaker 1: and then their family could come in. And so that

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Speaker 1: like we did that. That was when a place that

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Speaker 1: I started. And so then Sally was like, oh, I

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Speaker 1: want to do a death plan. So she did a

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Speaker 1: death plan and she wanted this then to be a

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Speaker 1: place to die. She's like, how does my house do that?

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Speaker 1: I was like, you just do that. You want to

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Speaker 1: share a room? She's like, I got all these rooms

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Speaker 1: and so I was like okay. She's like, well, actually

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Speaker 1: I want you to have the house when I die.

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Speaker 1: And I was like okay. You know, like people say

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Speaker 1: things all the time, and I just kept coming for

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Speaker 1: massage and one day she called and asked me to

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Speaker 1: come over. And I was out with my neighbor at

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Speaker 1: the time, and so we came over and she opened

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Speaker 1: up the door with flowers like a housewarming plant, and

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Speaker 1: the quick claim deed, that's like what what I was like,

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Speaker 1: I need to like record this for my own memory.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I'm not going to remember any of it.

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Speaker 1: And so we sat down and we talked about it,

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Speaker 1: and so there's a video of Sally talking about why

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Speaker 1: she did this.

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Speaker 6: Sally, will you tell us what you're doing with this house?

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Speaker 5: I am giving it to you so that you can

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Speaker 5: help people.

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Speaker 7: Have a place to go, a place to be before

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Speaker 7: they go, a place for their family to be before

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Speaker 7: they go.

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Speaker 2: To be.

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Speaker 8: I don't know, out of the churm of the housing market,

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Speaker 8: which is in human. When you say me, I mean

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Speaker 8: a sacred passing guess, but I also mean you.

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Speaker 9: Because I trust you.

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Speaker 8: I trust your integrity, your humanity, your steadfast, okay, stubbornness,

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Speaker 8: and I like what you're doing.

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Speaker 9: And you've helped me so much.

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Speaker 3: The point is it's.

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Speaker 5: Not being used by the capitalist system at We can

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Speaker 5: bypass it if we think hard enough of ways to

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Speaker 5: do this. And now I just wish that I had

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Speaker 5: enough income to take the tax deduction.

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Speaker 6: For this donation.

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Speaker 1: Sally had had a hard time, feeling like of a

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Speaker 1: group of people, feeling belonging, and she wanted this space

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Speaker 1: to be just that. She wanted to be of use.

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Speaker 1: There's a poem by March Percy called to be of Use,

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Speaker 1: which she sent me, and she said, this is this

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Speaker 1: is what I this is my dream. And she died

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Speaker 1: on April twentieth of twenty twenty three. In here. She

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Speaker 1: has always been a person who just did her did

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Speaker 1: what she wanted to do, and she she did the

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Speaker 1: same thing all the way through her death.

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Speaker 10: My mother had a very like she wasn't religious, but

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Speaker 10: she was very spiritual, and she had that feel that

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Speaker 10: everything always happens for the best, that kind of like

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Speaker 10: everything is supposed to happen, and.

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Speaker 9: And so I was raised like that. So it's it's

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Speaker 9: very strong in me. And then once she passed, I'm like,

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Speaker 9: we that's supposed to happen. No, there's like no universe

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Speaker 9: where this is the best.

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Speaker 2: Thing that could happen. And so.

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Speaker 6: I'm kind of like find it's been five years, it's

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Speaker 6: incredible all the time past. So it's especially with the

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Speaker 6: pandemic and everything. Uh, but kind of finding my way

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Speaker 6: back spiritually, uh, after like something that there's no universe

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Speaker 6: for this is the best case scenario. How do you get.

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Speaker 9: Back to everything happens for a reason, and and I

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Speaker 9: can see the universe's reasons.

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Speaker 6: I hate them, but I see them, and it's just

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Speaker 6: kind of I think that's something that would probably while

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Speaker 6: balance with grief. Also, how do you how do you

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Speaker 6: like kind of like hold up your spiritual belief.

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Speaker 9: In the face of grief and loss.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, I know, Yeah, you're great.

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Speaker 1: I would like to die in a non scary, painful way.

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Speaker 1: I would like to not die in an act of violence.

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Speaker 1: I would like not to die by the hands of someone.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to die yet. I'm not afraid of it,

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Speaker 1: but I don't want to die yet. I like to

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Speaker 1: just always put that out into the universe and outside

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Speaker 1: of those things, I think I will be able to

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Speaker 1: see the joy in anything. If I'm at home, there's

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Speaker 1: a reason I'm at home. If I'm not able to

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Speaker 1: be at home, there's a good reason. My kids are hilarious.

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Speaker 1: My daughter will not take care of me. She's already said,

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Speaker 1: I will help Dante pay for it. We will put

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Speaker 1: you in a wonderful home. And my son is like mom,

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Speaker 1: I'll take care of you. I do a lot of

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Speaker 1: medical aid and dying care work. It's either medical aid

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Speaker 1: and dying or it's a traumatic death. That are like

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Speaker 1: the predominant sides of my death care work. I am

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Speaker 1: a volunteer with End of Life Washington and they are

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Speaker 1: a nonprofit that was started and successfully achieved medical aid

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Speaker 1: and dying in Washington State. They started with volunteers to

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Speaker 1: like just help people through the process and in the

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Speaker 1: state of Washington now medical facilities depend on End of

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Speaker 1: Life Washington to do that, and especially the ones that

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Speaker 1: are religious, and so they have about one hundred volunteers

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Speaker 1: and so people will be referred to them and they

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Speaker 1: send out a request can someone help this person? And

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Speaker 1: so what we do w in that situation is we

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Speaker 1: will learn about someone's condition and then work to get

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Speaker 1: them set up with medical providers and depending on what

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Speaker 1: that person wants and the volunteer's ability, like the type

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Speaker 1: of care they get shifts. Mine is like a full

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Speaker 1: care if they would like it. I do a lot

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Speaker 1: of things that most of the other volunteers are like,

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Speaker 1: what why are you doing that. I will sit there

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Speaker 1: and talk with someone about a death plan, do you

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Speaker 1: want to do this, what are we going to do

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Speaker 1: with your body afterwards? Where that's not a typical thing

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Speaker 1: that folks will talk about, but I know from being

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Speaker 1: in those situations a lot of times when someone then

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Speaker 1: dies on their medical aid and dying medicine, folks will

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Speaker 1: then look at me and say, Okay, what do we

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Speaker 1: do now. I don't want those situations. It's not fun

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Speaker 1: for anybody, and so I try to do all of

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Speaker 1: that with the people I help in advance. I predominantly

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Speaker 1: see folks with cancer using medical aid and dying. In

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Speaker 1: Washington State, medical aid and dying is not accessible to

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Speaker 1: you if you have Alzheimer's or dementia immediately upon a diagnosis.

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Speaker 1: So you could be diagnosed today and be perfectly fine

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Speaker 1: and just understand that this is going to be a

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Speaker 1: progressive disease, and you still do not have your choice

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Speaker 1: from that point on what Folks who have those like

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Speaker 1: Alzheimer's or dimension they often choose voluntary stopping of eating

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Speaker 1: and drinking, which is called VSAID, and we support that

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Speaker 1: here too, and VSAID is a longer process, but with

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Speaker 1: medical support, with a hospice who's willing to prescribe a

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Speaker 1: certain regiment of medications that hospices prescribe for everybody, the

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Speaker 1: thirst and the hunger is really easily mitigated. It sounds

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Speaker 1: preposterous and wild because we are so intrinsically linked to

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Speaker 1: water and food, and food means so many things to

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Speaker 1: so many people, Like not eating sounds hard and uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: And V said, with medical support have been some of

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Speaker 1: the like Calmus deaths that I've seen. They're longer than

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Speaker 1: medical aid and dying and require much more care, but

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Speaker 1: it's still someone being able to make their choice and

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Speaker 1: the people who love them are there caring for them.

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Speaker 1: I have seen, like the healing for the people around

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Speaker 1: after that is so much different folks who are using

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Speaker 1: medical aid and dying And V said, like they say

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Speaker 1: the things they wanted to say, They see the people

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Speaker 1: they wanted to see, they do the things they wanted

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Speaker 1: to do, And while it's sad and devastating, there is

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Speaker 1: an amount of pressure that's like released from the emotional

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Speaker 1: valve that folks experience in those processes because they know

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Speaker 1: it's not a surprise, and just that understanding allows you

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Speaker 1: to like be present in that situation so differently.

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Speaker 3: That's incredibly relateable. I've had similar experiences, like on a

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Speaker 3: personal level, but it also feels like that's kind of

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Speaker 3: how people are reacting at large over a lot of

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Speaker 3: things right now, just like they don't want to hear

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Speaker 3: a bummer, you know, like they just want to chug

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Speaker 3: along and like get whatever joy they can, which you know,

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Speaker 3: I can't really argue with on some level, but it's

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Speaker 3: also not how we You know, you have to show

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Speaker 3: up for grief and you have to show up for

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Speaker 3: the world or nothing is ever going to get better

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Speaker 3: to like take that energy to a loved line to

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Speaker 3: be like, hey, like this is sad and you need

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Speaker 3: to be here.

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Speaker 11: Like it's it's a big ask and it sucks to

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Speaker 11: feel like the bummer. But also like if you're not

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Speaker 11: doing that, you're it just feels like you're painting without

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Speaker 11: all the colors, you know.

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Speaker 3: Like you just you need to have that breadth of

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Speaker 3: experience to.

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Speaker 9: Show up.

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Speaker 4: I guess you know.

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Speaker 1: Medical aid and dying, the process of it is when

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Speaker 1: you get a prescription, you get the compounded prescription, which

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Speaker 1: is made up of a heart stimulant, a pain killer,

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Speaker 1: an anti seizure medication, a respiratory suppressant, and there's one

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Speaker 1: other I can't think of at the moment. But you

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Speaker 1: get this compounded prescription and it's like a dust and

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Speaker 1: you have to add a liquid to it. And so

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Speaker 1: you get that, and you get an anti anxiety pill

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Speaker 1: and a anti nausea pill. Well you take those and

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Speaker 1: you wait an hour, let your belly get sort of settled.

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Speaker 1: And everybody says that anti anxiety medicine is bullshit, doesn't work.

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Speaker 1: They're like, this is what they give me. I'm like, hey,

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Speaker 1: I know, you can take whatever you would like as

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Speaker 1: long as you don't fall asleep. So if you have

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Speaker 1: other tools that you would like to do, go ahead

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Speaker 1: whatever you want. Just know that if you fall asleep,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna wake up and be like what I cared

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Speaker 1: for a gentleman once who wanted to ingest his medicine

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Speaker 1: at four o'clock and I said, okay, I'll come over. Well,

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Speaker 1: at three forty five, his regular care person gave him

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Speaker 1: his meds, which one of them was a xanax, and

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Speaker 1: then combined with our next meds fifteen minutes later, it

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Speaker 1: put him to sleep. None of us understood, like I

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Speaker 1: didn't know he had those medicines from his normal care provider.

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Speaker 1: So he was like, I'm going to use the restroom.

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Speaker 1: And you went to use the restroom and fell asleep there,

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Speaker 1: so we had to move him to his bed. He

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Speaker 1: woke up and was like what it didn't work and

384
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Speaker 1: we were like, no, you didn't take it yet. You

385
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Speaker 1: didn't take it yet, you fell asleep, and he was like,

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Speaker 1: what do you mean I fell asleep?

387
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Speaker 7: Like.

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Speaker 1: He was so pissed, so pissed, and we were like, no,

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Speaker 1: it's right here, like you can still take it, and

390
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:18,679
Speaker 1: he did and he took it and he took just

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Speaker 1: a little bit of it and said, this tastes like shit.

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Speaker 1: I'm not taking anymore. It's bitter. It's bitter and it burns.

393
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Speaker 1: It's ridiculous. With as much technology as we have and

394
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Speaker 1: as many pink amoxacillin bottles I've seen in my day,

395
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Speaker 1: I am livid that it doesn't taste good. But it worked,

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Speaker 1: and that was it. After the medicine, someone will be

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Speaker 1: awake for roughly five to ten minutes, and I always

398
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Speaker 1: tell people like that time period will go so much

399
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Speaker 1: faster than you ever think it will. It will feel

400
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Speaker 1: like one minute. And so it's very important when I

401
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:58,080
Speaker 1: work with folks who are taking medal Klein and dying.

402
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Speaker 1: We talk a lot about that five minutes. What do

403
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,080
Speaker 1: you want of that five minutes? Who do you want

404
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:06,479
Speaker 1: in here? Is there something you want to listen to?

405
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:09,120
Speaker 1: Is there something you want to hear? Is there a

406
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:13,000
Speaker 1: scripture you want? Prayer like? What is important to you?

407
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:20,760
Speaker 1: Those are your last exchanges with people? And everybody around

408
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:24,800
Speaker 1: is always shocked. Even though I say it goes quick

409
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:27,119
Speaker 1: and I try really hard to prepare folks, they are

410
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:30,240
Speaker 1: always not ready for the speed in which that happens.

411
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:37,040
Speaker 1: Also then ridiculously surprised that people don't die immediately because

412
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Speaker 1: they go into a coma, and then each body takes

413
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:46,520
Speaker 1: in that medicine differently, so someone could die within fifteen minutes.

414
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Speaker 1: The longest person I've cared for was thirty nine hours.

415
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:54,480
Speaker 1: That was before they changed the medicine. They changed the

416
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:56,280
Speaker 1: way that it was mixed, and now we have not

417
00:26:56,400 --> 00:27:02,439
Speaker 1: had a death that took that long. But yeah, I

418
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:05,960
Speaker 1: think it's my ability to just hold heavy things that

419
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:09,399
Speaker 1: allows me to do this. Like it doesn't. It doesn't

420
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:12,280
Speaker 1: make me uncomfortable to hold heavy things. It doesn't make

421
00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:16,920
Speaker 1: me uncomfortable to talk about heavy things. I couldn't tell

422
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:18,840
Speaker 1: you how I came to be this way. I just

423
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:22,040
Speaker 1: know that I can when people say to me frequently,

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Speaker 1: like I'll be caring for someone and they're like, you

425
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:27,959
Speaker 1: have a tough job, and I will say thank you

426
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,080
Speaker 1: for thank you know, thank you for acknowledging that. And

427
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:36,120
Speaker 1: let's remember that people teach kindergarten. There's kindergarten teachers out there.

428
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:42,760
Speaker 1: I could never nope, nope. So I feel very strongly

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Speaker 1: that we are all made for something. And if you

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Speaker 1: ask a kindergarten teacher, how can you, like, how can

431
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:50,399
Speaker 1: they do that? I don't I like doing it? Like

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Speaker 1: you know, like I bet you, they couldn't really pinpoint

433
00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:56,720
Speaker 1: what makes them, what caused them to have the ability

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Speaker 1: to do that. I just really firmly believe that we

435
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:03,159
Speaker 1: are all we all have something that we're good at,

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00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:06,800
Speaker 1: and it's when we're able to step outside of those

437
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:10,440
Speaker 1: lines of capitalism, the shoulds, the paths that society has

438
00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:13,320
Speaker 1: set up for us, that we get to discover that.

439
00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:19,159
Speaker 1: I think people are often surprised at the fact that

440
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:22,640
Speaker 1: their body can stay home if they die at home

441
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:24,760
Speaker 1: or if they die in a hospital, Like your body

442
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:27,399
Speaker 1: can go back home, you don't have to go to

443
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:31,199
Speaker 1: a funeral home. And I think people are shocked by that.

444
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:38,920
Speaker 1: Why would you go home? Well, A, it's free, it's free.

445
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:42,520
Speaker 1: You can go home. You can have a wake at home.

446
00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 1: People can come just like they would anywhere else. They

447
00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 1: can come and they can see you, and your body

448
00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:51,920
Speaker 1: is cared for in a loving way, and it's preserved

449
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:54,440
Speaker 1: and it's not any of the things that people might

450
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:56,640
Speaker 1: want to scare you with. You know, like it doesn't move,

451
00:28:56,680 --> 00:29:04,720
Speaker 1: it doesn't stink like it's about And people are often like, well,

452
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:07,160
Speaker 1: I go home and then I leave that same day. No,

453
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:09,800
Speaker 1: you can stay, like, we can cool your body for

454
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:12,440
Speaker 1: however long you need it to be. There's a lot

455
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:15,640
Speaker 1: of cultures that, you know, they bring folks home for

456
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:21,640
Speaker 1: much longer than you would think. Some folks bring people

457
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:26,040
Speaker 1: home for ninety days and there's a lot of care

458
00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 1: and that is perfectly legal, and I don't think that

459
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:35,080
Speaker 1: people know that and knowing that it does so much

460
00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:38,600
Speaker 1: having a person come home if they can. When they

461
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:41,719
Speaker 1: come home, you're able to metabolize that grief and that

462
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:46,080
Speaker 1: death so much differently because you're doing things so like

463
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:49,440
Speaker 1: not staying not staying busy, but like doing things for

464
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 1: this person. You're caring for them. You get to like

465
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:55,960
Speaker 1: you get to see that they're dead. You touch and

466
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 1: you feel that they're dead, you hear that they're dead.

467
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:03,400
Speaker 1: All of your senses are understanding this and they have

468
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 1: Like there's just this time that your body gets to

469
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:10,600
Speaker 1: process this instead of the two hours that you can

470
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:13,480
Speaker 1: dip into the funeral home with a whole bunch of

471
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:15,920
Speaker 1: people around, Like you get to be at home. You

472
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:18,080
Speaker 1: get to wake up in the morning and go downstairs

473
00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:22,280
Speaker 1: and wail on the floor if you want, and then

474
00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:25,719
Speaker 1: get up and make yourself a cup of coffee and

475
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:28,840
Speaker 1: go sit like you get to do what you need.

476
00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:37,000
Speaker 1: And also when people come home, it reintegrates dying into

477
00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:41,560
Speaker 1: our living because depending on your household and who lives there,

478
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:45,480
Speaker 1: Like you get younger people who now understand we die

479
00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:50,160
Speaker 1: and it's not scary. It's sad someone we love has gone.

480
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:52,440
Speaker 1: We don't get to talk to them anymore. Like, yes,

481
00:30:52,480 --> 00:31:04,040
Speaker 1: it's all of those things and it's normal. I love

482
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:09,400
Speaker 1: the after death because because we don't know, I feel

483
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:12,719
Speaker 1: like it's the one thing I get to make wonderful

484
00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:19,440
Speaker 1: in my life, and like a very nebulous, wonderful like

485
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:22,920
Speaker 1: I know there's something there has to be, Like, this

486
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 1: is not it. This is just not it. It's so

487
00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:28,840
Speaker 1: ridiculously arrogant to think that this is it. I think

488
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 1: that there are souls everywhere, like I think they're implants.

489
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:34,440
Speaker 1: I think there is a source energy that we all

490
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:38,560
Speaker 1: share anything that is living, And to think of the

491
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:43,120
Speaker 1: galaxies that exist out there, like I might die and

492
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:47,760
Speaker 1: this energy might go to like four thousand years ago,

493
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:52,040
Speaker 1: or maybe it just lives in a plant or you know,

494
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 1: like I'm not connecting my consciousness with it, but just

495
00:31:56,880 --> 00:32:03,880
Speaker 1: the energy. Yeah. I have a friend Patricia who I

496
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:08,800
Speaker 1: went to massage school with, and she wound up getting

497
00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:15,720
Speaker 1: cancer and was in Ohio when she died, and I

498
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:17,320
Speaker 1: knew she was nearing the end of her life. That

499
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:20,680
Speaker 1: actually the day before she had called and to say goodbye.

500
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:22,920
Speaker 1: She was like, I know, I'm going and so we

501
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,760
Speaker 1: talked for a wonderfully long time. But I was in

502
00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:28,760
Speaker 1: my kitchen and I was looking at a bunch of

503
00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:32,920
Speaker 1: fabric and Patricia was an amazing seamstress. Every time I

504
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:34,640
Speaker 1: would make something, she would look at it and say,

505
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:38,360
Speaker 1: that's garbage. And I feel like, Patricia, that's so mean

506
00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:43,120
Speaker 1: and she's like, I'm just honest, like she was. And

507
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:46,320
Speaker 1: I was looking at a piece of fabric, and all

508
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:53,640
Speaker 1: of a sudden I heard wee and I was like, oh,

509
00:32:53,720 --> 00:33:02,080
Speaker 1: Patricia died. Like I heard her spirit do something and

510
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:05,840
Speaker 1: she was so delighted. She was so delighted by whatever

511
00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:10,080
Speaker 1: it was, and she and she had died. From that

512
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:13,720
Speaker 1: moment on, I was I was like, there's something good,

513
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:17,200
Speaker 1: even if it's like until my conscious until I'm unaware

514
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:21,480
Speaker 1: of my consciousness, it's gonna be something that I've never expected.

515
00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:31,080
Speaker 2: Hi, it was nice to meet you.

516
00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 6: You get to see you again to meet you. Thank

517
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:38,400
Speaker 6: you for having me, thank you for hosting. Thanks.

518
00:33:57,040 --> 00:34:01,320
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to bed now. It's been it's been

519
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:10,319
Speaker 1: a long, full week of care. Care work is it's

520
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:14,520
Speaker 1: a lot of work, and doing it right is a

521
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:18,320
Speaker 1: whole lot of work. Likely to go to bed in.

522
00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:24,920
Speaker 12: A house that's not being bombed, in a bed that

523
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:30,040
Speaker 12: is in my house that's not being bombed, and with

524
00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:31,239
Speaker 12: my animals.

525
00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:37,600
Speaker 1: So I'm thankful to wake up in the morning and

526
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:41,680
Speaker 1: get to do something. I don't get to do it

527
00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:43,840
Speaker 1: all over again, Thank goodness, I don't get to do

528
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:46,120
Speaker 1: it all over again. But I get to do something

529
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:48,520
Speaker 1: and for that I'm thankful.

530
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:00,239
Speaker 4: Yeah,