WEBVTT - The Fifth Hour: Wedding Postgame & the Lecture! 0:00:00.760 --> 0:00:05.520 Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a 0:00:05.559 --> 0:00:09.320 week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of 0:00:09.360 --> 0:00:13.000 the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats 0:00:13.000 --> 0:00:15.880 crackheads in the ghetto Cutter the same as the rich 0:00:15.920 --> 0:00:19.919 pill poppers in the penthouse. The clearing House of Hot 0:00:19.960 --> 0:00:23.680 takes break free for something Special. The Fifth Hour with 0:00:23.880 --> 0:00:33.720 Ben Mallard starts right now in the air everywhere in 0:00:33.840 --> 0:00:39.120 the podcast Do Joe we Go, the much anticipated and 0:00:39.440 --> 0:00:44.360 not miss podcast of the year. This is gonna win 0:00:44.479 --> 0:00:49.280 us the pod Gold Medal. The Fifth Hour with Ben 0:00:49.360 --> 0:00:57.280 Mallard and the newly married Danny g Radio. It's that time, Danny. 0:00:57.360 --> 0:01:00.680 We hyped it up. You're the star of the show. 0:01:01.400 --> 0:01:06.160 It's all about you, Danny. In depth team coverage, a 0:01:06.240 --> 0:01:11.920 global exclusive. Everyone is dying to get this information wrong 0:01:12.720 --> 0:01:17.200 as we span the globe kind of I mean California 0:01:17.280 --> 0:01:21.280 to Hawaii and and back, and nine out of ten 0:01:21.400 --> 0:01:25.280 paparazzo's agree. This is gonna be an award winning podcast, 0:01:25.280 --> 0:01:29.720 so I cannot wait. First of all, congratulations Danny Mozeltov. 0:01:30.319 --> 0:01:32.560 You did send me a few text messages when you 0:01:32.600 --> 0:01:36.200 were in Hawaii and it it looked beautiful, and you 0:01:36.240 --> 0:01:38.160 were concerned about the weather and all that, and it 0:01:38.160 --> 0:01:41.120 seemed like everything was really really good. Yeah, man, it 0:01:41.200 --> 0:01:45.280 went better than expected. Uh, there was definitely a weather 0:01:45.440 --> 0:01:49.240 scare at the beginning, and as a fellow radio nerd, 0:01:49.680 --> 0:01:52.640 you can appreciate the fact, Ben that I heard e 0:01:52.800 --> 0:01:57.120 A s alerts on the radio, but for a major 0:01:57.680 --> 0:02:01.520 volcanic eruption. Oh that's right. You were there in the 0:02:01.680 --> 0:02:06.720 volcanea as Manta Loa erupted for the first time in 0:02:06.800 --> 0:02:09.799 thirty eight years. And the lava is still flowing right 0:02:09.800 --> 0:02:13.600 now as we record this. So that was pretty wild. 0:02:13.919 --> 0:02:17.079 And then there was this big flash flood alert for 0:02:17.320 --> 0:02:21.760 Hannah and obviously the big famous road to Hanna that 0:02:21.960 --> 0:02:26.360 area was flooded. And this was the night before our wedding. 0:02:27.080 --> 0:02:31.440 So yeah, okay, so we're driving home from the dinner 0:02:31.440 --> 0:02:35.919 with family right before the big day and we are 0:02:35.960 --> 0:02:40.520 on why Alea and we are nervous as hell because 0:02:40.600 --> 0:02:45.359 there was a chance of showers between four and six 0:02:45.440 --> 0:02:49.000 pm and our wedding was scheduled for sunset at four 0:02:49.080 --> 0:02:52.400 thirty pm. Well you think at that point, maybe it's 0:02:52.400 --> 0:02:54.959 maybe a late night wedding. Maybe we'll do late under 0:02:54.960 --> 0:02:58.480 the under the moonlight, the beautiful Hawaiian moonlight. There No, 0:02:59.080 --> 0:03:02.320 there was only one other option with the company who 0:03:02.360 --> 0:03:05.280 helped us with our beach ceremony, and that was to 0:03:05.360 --> 0:03:09.080 move it to the morning at eight thirty am. So 0:03:09.160 --> 0:03:15.440 a sunrise morning, A sunrise wedding, I should say morning. 0:03:15.600 --> 0:03:18.800 I'm not really a morning person. I mean, look, the 0:03:18.880 --> 0:03:21.880 whole thing. The star of this show, let's be real, 0:03:22.680 --> 0:03:30.560 was this fancy ass dress, your wife wedding dress, A solid, traditional, 0:03:30.680 --> 0:03:33.840 good looking so the former tender RONI because I guess 0:03:33.840 --> 0:03:38.480 she's a wife RONI. Now, dude, not only did she 0:03:38.560 --> 0:03:43.200 starve herself to fit into this coke bottle dress, this 0:03:43.320 --> 0:03:50.120 thing was blinged out. It had the long tail trail 0:03:50.240 --> 0:03:55.120 whatever they call it. I mean she did it up 0:03:55.240 --> 0:03:57.240 nice with the dress, and I didn't get to see 0:03:57.280 --> 0:04:00.480 it until she actually walked up to me on the 0:04:00.520 --> 0:04:04.480 wedding day. So did she want to stand in pouring 0:04:04.680 --> 0:04:09.280 rain wearing this ball or dress? The answer, as you 0:04:09.320 --> 0:04:13.480 can guess, is fucking no. And she was emotional and 0:04:13.520 --> 0:04:17.680 crying about this bend even before we left to get there, 0:04:17.800 --> 0:04:22.880 because obviously her and her family kept checking the weather forecast. Wow, 0:04:22.920 --> 0:04:25.760 all right, and so I have questions, can I can 0:04:25.800 --> 0:04:29.560 we have a Q and a all? Uh? So I 0:04:29.600 --> 0:04:31.640 got married in Hawaii on the beach. It was a 0:04:31.720 --> 0:04:34.400 very small reel lope, but we did have a photographer. 0:04:34.560 --> 0:04:38.039 We had, you know, a person obviously presiding over the 0:04:38.080 --> 0:04:41.200 wedding and the vows and all that. But you gotta 0:04:41.320 --> 0:04:45.440 like stay away from the bride to be before the wedding, 0:04:45.480 --> 0:04:49.160 So like, what's the move here? Like you guys, My 0:04:49.200 --> 0:04:52.359 wife went to like the get all dolled up and 0:04:52.400 --> 0:04:53.880 have the makeup done and all that, and then I 0:04:54.320 --> 0:04:56.240 was stuck. We were by ourselves. So I was like 0:04:56.279 --> 0:05:00.240 by myself in the hotel room and I it's just 0:05:00.279 --> 0:05:02.599 like calling random people, Hey, I'm about to get married, 0:05:02.600 --> 0:05:04.039 and they were like trying to talk me out of 0:05:04.040 --> 0:05:06.080 it and all that. It was. Did you have a 0:05:06.160 --> 0:05:08.640 similar experience, Danny? I got, how are you killing the 0:05:08.680 --> 0:05:11.640 time that you had before the wedding? Because a lot 0:05:11.720 --> 0:05:14.360 of thoughts go through a man's head they're like what 0:05:14.560 --> 0:05:16.560 you know, I'm sure I want to do this? Is this? 0:05:16.680 --> 0:05:19.520 Is this right? What what happens if this takes place? 0:05:19.560 --> 0:05:21.840 Like all that stuff? So how did you handle it? 0:05:22.480 --> 0:05:25.440 Really good question? Ben and I'm not just saying that 0:05:25.480 --> 0:05:28.360 like John MORROSSI does to every single question thrown his 0:05:28.440 --> 0:05:33.680 way on the network. Great question, Ben, is no, that 0:05:33.760 --> 0:05:36.080 really is a good question, because the first day we 0:05:36.200 --> 0:05:39.039 get there, we arrive and we're so excited to be 0:05:39.120 --> 0:05:41.719 on the island. As you know, you step off the 0:05:41.760 --> 0:05:45.760 plane and it's eighty two degrees and perfect. It's gonna 0:05:45.800 --> 0:05:51.839 be a great trip. We check into our airbnb. Huge problem. 0:05:51.880 --> 0:05:55.599 It does not match the pictures. This freaking thing was 0:05:55.680 --> 0:05:59.280 so expensive, Ben, because obviously it's a long stay at 0:05:59.279 --> 0:06:03.039 this air B and B. They lied their asses off 0:06:03.080 --> 0:06:07.000 on these photos. Was it older? Was it more run 0:06:07.080 --> 0:06:09.400 down than they sent the picture of Is that it 0:06:09.480 --> 0:06:13.440 was older? It was definitely dusty and kind of dirty. 0:06:13.560 --> 0:06:17.599 The view was a two million dollar view of the ocean, 0:06:18.160 --> 0:06:21.880 but it was dusty and damp and dirty. And the 0:06:22.000 --> 0:06:26.320 a C would not kick on. Oh I had we 0:06:26.360 --> 0:06:29.120 had the same problem. We were in Hawaii. Mean, the 0:06:29.200 --> 0:06:33.000 wife were just and and you know, it's Hawaii, it's hot. 0:06:33.120 --> 0:06:35.200 You want to have a nice air condition. You don't 0:06:35.200 --> 0:06:36.720 want to sit in the heat, and you're in your 0:06:36.720 --> 0:06:40.440 own apartment. You're in here. Come exactly now, at this point, 0:06:40.520 --> 0:06:45.920 it's now ninety degrees outside and humid, very humid, and 0:06:46.160 --> 0:06:49.599 we are we are trying to unpack our suitcases in 0:06:49.680 --> 0:06:54.320 this airbnb and my bride to be disappears and she 0:06:54.400 --> 0:06:56.400 doesn't come out for a while. But I hear a 0:06:56.480 --> 0:07:02.360 suitcase slamming on the floor, so I'm like, okay, I 0:07:02.600 --> 0:07:06.000 walk in to check on her, and she says, this 0:07:06.080 --> 0:07:09.680 is not what we fucking paid for. Oh no, now, 0:07:09.880 --> 0:07:13.520 oh boy, now it's on. Now, now it is on 0:07:13.720 --> 0:07:17.560 like Donkey Kong, right, the inevitable meltdown. So at this 0:07:17.600 --> 0:07:21.480 point does she just give up and say that's it, 0:07:21.520 --> 0:07:24.160 We're predestined to this, or does she call and raise 0:07:24.240 --> 0:07:26.760 Holy Hell and said try to get moved somewhere else. 0:07:27.320 --> 0:07:30.680 I mean, you can't really call anybody. There is a 0:07:30.720 --> 0:07:36.160 person listed obviously, the quote unquote landlord, but it's a 0:07:36.200 --> 0:07:38.600 lock box to get in or a code box to 0:07:38.680 --> 0:07:41.920 get into these places. They have their own cleaning service. 0:07:42.360 --> 0:07:45.320 Most of these places, like especially on the islands, the 0:07:45.440 --> 0:07:48.040 landlords are not in sight. There nowhere to be found, 0:07:48.080 --> 0:07:51.000 and they like it that way. Okay, but can't you 0:07:51.760 --> 0:07:54.640 I've only stayed a little bit of air and bbscusing 0:07:54.680 --> 0:07:57.040 my wife handles all that, But can't you contact Airbnb 0:07:57.120 --> 0:08:00.559 and say, wait a minute, you know what's going on here. Yeah, 0:08:00.600 --> 0:08:04.280 but there's deposits involved. You have to wait to get 0:08:04.320 --> 0:08:07.920 your money returned. You'd have to find another spot, which 0:08:07.960 --> 0:08:11.000 is almost impossible at this point because you have to 0:08:11.040 --> 0:08:14.720 do all of this in such great advance that it's 0:08:14.760 --> 0:08:19.680 not just an easy fix. Yeah. It was over dramatic, 0:08:19.960 --> 0:08:23.320 and she admitted that the following day, when you walk 0:08:23.400 --> 0:08:25.240 into the place that you paid a lot of money for, 0:08:25.760 --> 0:08:28.600 you are expecting to get your money's worth. Yeah, let's 0:08:28.680 --> 0:08:30.760 understanding about you. Guys have been planning this for how long? 0:08:30.760 --> 0:08:33.480 How many? Like over a year? Right, at least for 0:08:33.480 --> 0:08:38.160 for eleven months? Yeah, so basically a year. Okay, Yeah, 0:08:38.240 --> 0:08:41.160 I get it, because she's thinking to herself, this is 0:08:41.200 --> 0:08:44.240 not where I want to sit and have the makeup 0:08:44.440 --> 0:08:47.360 ladies show up. So I had to think fast, Ben, 0:08:48.120 --> 0:08:52.720 I did have an emergency reserve. Okay. I called and 0:08:52.760 --> 0:08:56.160 talked to a manager at the Four Seasons and while 0:08:56.360 --> 0:08:59.800 it all right, and I told her what was going on, 0:09:00.360 --> 0:09:03.240 explained everything you said. This is my my perfect wedding, 0:09:03.280 --> 0:09:06.199 my wife to be his upset. You must help me. 0:09:06.640 --> 0:09:09.679 I'm kind of a big deal. I'm very happy for you. 0:09:10.720 --> 0:09:14.440 And she said, pay the entry level room to get 0:09:14.480 --> 0:09:17.800 in here, and I will upgrade you two times to 0:09:17.960 --> 0:09:21.560 an ocean view. Nice. I'm trying to do my job. 0:09:22.440 --> 0:09:26.680 That's very nice in them. Yeah, so shouts out to Christina. There, oh, 0:09:26.800 --> 0:09:30.079 the gain, biggest look of joy you can ever imagine. 0:09:30.600 --> 0:09:34.239 Because if there's one thing my chick loves, it's fancy resorts. 0:09:36.800 --> 0:09:39.560 You have that you turned the frown upside down and 0:09:39.559 --> 0:09:41.760 then then there you go, Danny, that's the way that 0:09:41.800 --> 0:09:44.040 goes so right. And now you're already you're not even 0:09:44.080 --> 0:09:47.400 married yet, and already you've got some equity, so your 0:09:47.559 --> 0:09:50.240 head when you when you f up, you're now ahead. 0:09:50.240 --> 0:09:53.040 So that's a good thing. And I blew my emergency 0:09:53.120 --> 0:09:58.199 wad early on face my mouth. Her family met her 0:09:58.240 --> 0:10:00.679 there and we all had a little get together in 0:10:00.720 --> 0:10:04.480 front of the resort on their private beach, and that's 0:10:04.480 --> 0:10:06.640 where all the family members got to meet each other 0:10:06.720 --> 0:10:09.240 from my side in her side. And so it was 0:10:09.280 --> 0:10:12.920 a perfect, an imperfect, but perfect start to the trip. 0:10:13.600 --> 0:10:16.280 And now Ben she gets to get dressed there at 0:10:16.320 --> 0:10:21.720 that nice resort rather than dusty, dirty, hot, humid airbnb 0:10:21.920 --> 0:10:25.360 with no working air conditioner. Now, the other move here 0:10:25.440 --> 0:10:27.360 is we try to decode what happened. Is our in 0:10:27.400 --> 0:10:29.640 depth coverage by the way, listening to live coverage on 0:10:29.679 --> 0:10:33.240 the podcast here as we go through everything that happened 0:10:33.800 --> 0:10:39.120 at the famous radio wedding, Danny g Radio, a longtime 0:10:39.160 --> 0:10:43.120 prolific bachelor has now become an honest man. Here. How 0:10:43.120 --> 0:10:48.400 about the hookers? Yeah? Uh? Did you did you try 0:10:48.400 --> 0:10:50.600 to rent out the airbn? Because you still had the 0:10:50.640 --> 0:10:53.199 Airbnb right there? Well, you were staying the nice So 0:10:53.760 --> 0:10:55.800 did you like, maybe I can double dip on this 0:10:55.880 --> 0:10:57.760 and rent this out to somebody else? Did you think 0:10:57.760 --> 0:11:01.000 about that possibly doing that? And instead what we did 0:11:01.080 --> 0:11:04.839 is we hooked up some of our family members because yeah, 0:11:04.960 --> 0:11:09.560 we had family including her kids cramped in the current 0:11:09.760 --> 0:11:13.240 airbnb situation they had. We put a couple of our 0:11:13.280 --> 0:11:17.520 relatives into our empty Airbnb. Got you, got you? Got 0:11:17.600 --> 0:11:20.200 you all right? So you're The wedding went off, The 0:11:20.240 --> 0:11:23.800 weather was good, everything was good on that perfect sunset. 0:11:24.320 --> 0:11:27.280 What's it called the efficient? Efficient? Yeah? Efficient? Yeah, I 0:11:27.280 --> 0:11:30.840 think that's it. That sounds He was authentic Hawaiian dude 0:11:30.880 --> 0:11:34.839 blowing into a conch personal bl He made everybody laugh 0:11:35.240 --> 0:11:37.760 we had a group of twenty family members on the 0:11:37.760 --> 0:11:41.400 beach there. It was spectacular. Did you then roast a 0:11:41.440 --> 0:11:44.680 pig traditional Hawaiian lua after you got done? Did you know? 0:11:48.600 --> 0:11:50.960 And it would have matched what was going on the 0:11:51.000 --> 0:11:55.280 only downside of trampling onto that beach which it's public. 0:11:55.760 --> 0:11:57.640 So yeah, you can go out there and have a wedding, 0:11:57.920 --> 0:12:01.480 but if somebody's on the beach, you can't move them. Yeah. 0:12:01.800 --> 0:12:03.720 So as we walked onto the beach, there was a 0:12:03.720 --> 0:12:09.720 homeless guy. Then I love you. Oh great, finally he 0:12:09.840 --> 0:12:13.640 got up and moved. Well, it's nice of him. Yeah. 0:12:14.080 --> 0:12:16.520 I was at a wedding on the in the beach 0:12:16.559 --> 0:12:21.000 here in l A. And they were they were proposed 0:12:21.000 --> 0:12:22.839 that they did the whole vows thing and as they 0:12:22.880 --> 0:12:26.240 were doing the I dudes, some dude with headphones on 0:12:26.520 --> 0:12:29.080 ran past, Like he's such a douchebag. The guy like 0:12:29.240 --> 0:12:31.560 ran past and there's all these people sitting on the 0:12:31.600 --> 0:12:33.559 beach for the wedding and this guy didn't didn't give 0:12:33.600 --> 0:12:36.360 a crap. He's like, what a dick. You come on, 0:12:36.840 --> 0:12:42.960 you're fired. There was a lady playing the ukulele we 0:12:43.080 --> 0:12:47.120 called ukulele and um the part I hated the most 0:12:47.320 --> 0:12:50.640 was the forced poses with the pictures, and any time 0:12:50.679 --> 0:12:53.160 I got too close to my bride, she's like, get 0:12:53.200 --> 0:12:55.839 away from me or making me hot, you get away 0:12:55.880 --> 0:13:01.600 from me. It's very it's very inconvenient, the photos and 0:13:01.640 --> 0:13:04.800 all that, and it's a it's a headache, hey man. 0:13:04.840 --> 0:13:07.400 Plus the other thing is like, and hopefully you guys 0:13:07.400 --> 0:13:09.480 are married for forever and ever and all that, and 0:13:09.480 --> 0:13:11.600 then like as you age, you'll look back and you'll 0:13:11.640 --> 0:13:13.400 be like, well, I don't look like that anymore. You know. 0:13:13.760 --> 0:13:16.920 Obviously it started, it becomes agonizing, you know, like what 0:13:17.040 --> 0:13:20.440 happened there? Man? Uh? Yeah, hopefully I shed some pounds. 0:13:20.440 --> 0:13:26.679 I looked like friar tucks. Well, it's stress of having 0:13:26.720 --> 0:13:30.400 to come up with all the money, and what an 0:13:30.400 --> 0:13:33.760 irritation that is after we eight my feelings this past 0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:36.400 year trying to save up all that money. For sure, 0:13:36.520 --> 0:13:39.640 for sure, the inner was good, the food was delicious. 0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:43.040 I should back up though, that night where there was 0:13:43.080 --> 0:13:45.640 that flash flood warning where we had the little meal 0:13:46.080 --> 0:13:49.320 with our families. That was the only one incident we 0:13:49.400 --> 0:13:58.080 had with somebody drinking too much. Oh So, to protect 0:13:58.120 --> 0:14:01.960 the innocent and the guilt, I'll change his name to 0:14:02.960 --> 0:14:08.240 uh David. Okay, okay, David. I'm sure nobody don't know 0:14:08.280 --> 0:14:12.640 who that is. No, No, that's name. David may have 0:14:13.080 --> 0:14:17.920 or may not have drank six white claws on the beach, 0:14:18.000 --> 0:14:22.080 right in front of the Four Seasons. Okay, Now did 0:14:22.080 --> 0:14:25.080 he pay for those, because that's probably that's probably five grand. 0:14:25.120 --> 0:14:27.920 He put down drinks when he got off the plane. 0:14:27.920 --> 0:14:30.840 He bought those at Costco. Okay, that's a smart move, 0:14:31.000 --> 0:14:34.680 all right, Right, so now he brings his Costco liquor 0:14:35.120 --> 0:14:37.760 to the beach. Don't tell me to calm him down. 0:14:37.800 --> 0:14:40.800 He's one of those guys. Oh boy, fully lubricated, right 0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:44.320 fully lubricated. He's seeing pink spiders at this point. Okay, 0:14:45.600 --> 0:14:49.160 I'm fine, I'll show you who's who's calm. He followed 0:14:49.200 --> 0:14:51.640 some of us up to the bar where the more 0:14:51.720 --> 0:14:55.520 responsible adults had one or two lava flows, but then 0:14:55.680 --> 0:14:58.840 cut it off. My cousin looks at me and he's like, man, 0:14:58.920 --> 0:15:01.600 he can drink, And I'm like, you don't know the 0:15:01.600 --> 0:15:05.160 half of it. David is a world class drinker. Is 0:15:05.400 --> 0:15:09.320 normally south, you know. I mean, at this point, Ben, 0:15:09.760 --> 0:15:13.440 he was not teetering over the edge. He still was like, 0:15:14.000 --> 0:15:16.960 very personable and funny and he hadn't gone to the 0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:19.600 dark side yet. Okay, So I was gonna bring that 0:15:19.640 --> 0:15:22.320 up because I learned doing the Overnight Show years ago. 0:15:22.760 --> 0:15:27.840 The there are four types of heavy drinkers. There's four types. 0:15:27.880 --> 0:15:32.520 There's the there's the Hemmingway who they're the same, whether 0:15:32.520 --> 0:15:34.960 they drink a lot or they don't, doesn't alcohol doesn't 0:15:34.960 --> 0:15:38.800 impact their personality. There's the Mary Poppins, the person that 0:15:38.920 --> 0:15:40.800 you know, that person that drinks a lot and becomes 0:15:40.920 --> 0:15:44.520 nicer and more around and kind of lets themselves go 0:15:44.560 --> 0:15:47.880 a little bit and they're They're like, I guess I 0:15:47.920 --> 0:15:50.480 would be like that a little bit because I'm pretty introverted. 0:15:50.480 --> 0:15:53.200 So if I drink, I think i'd be more social. Uh, 0:15:53.520 --> 0:15:55.880 maybe the nutty professor would be the better one, because 0:15:55.880 --> 0:15:58.120 that's actually the one that becomes more social. So maybe 0:15:58.160 --> 0:16:00.880 the nut profession. But the doctor, the ster hide one 0:16:01.520 --> 0:16:05.240 is the one that becomes very hostile and aggressive and 0:16:05.880 --> 0:16:08.800 does physical things that they probably shouldn't do and they 0:16:08.800 --> 0:16:12.520 wouldn't do if they weren't completely liquor it up. So 0:16:13.480 --> 0:16:17.680 which one of those is is David? I would say 0:16:17.720 --> 0:16:23.160 that David is He's a nice loser until he tipped 0:16:23.160 --> 0:16:26.840 to the other side. And when he crosses the rubicon, yes, 0:16:27.520 --> 0:16:30.600 then he is sleeping on the side of the road. 0:16:30.720 --> 0:16:35.120 At that point he's urinating in his paints, screaming at 0:16:35.120 --> 0:16:46.080 the heavens. It's wonderful hitting cylinders. How to prove my point, 0:16:46.800 --> 0:16:50.560 we all left, went back to our places, got changed, 0:16:50.840 --> 0:16:54.520 and all met at the Monkey Pod for dinner. And 0:16:54.560 --> 0:16:56.240 if you go to Hawaii, make sure you hit up 0:16:56.240 --> 0:16:58.640 the Monkey Pod. Really good restaurant. And they are not 0:16:58.720 --> 0:17:01.440 a paid sponsor. I wish they were, though been, because 0:17:01.440 --> 0:17:05.520 that bill, Holy walk the Moly. So we're and we're 0:17:05.560 --> 0:17:08.719 really just doing appetizers to We're like, we're looking at 0:17:08.760 --> 0:17:10.879 this menu and we're like, damn, we can't all afford 0:17:10.880 --> 0:17:14.719 an entree. This bill would be ten thous dollars. So 0:17:14.760 --> 0:17:19.560 we're splitting appetizers. Everybody has one drink except for David. 0:17:19.640 --> 0:17:21.840 How many drinks do you think David has in front 0:17:21.840 --> 0:17:24.399 of him at the Monkey Pod. Oh, he's got to 0:17:24.480 --> 0:17:26.640 have at least two, right, at least two, got two 0:17:26.760 --> 0:17:31.080 drinks in front of them, and now, unfortunately he is 0:17:31.640 --> 0:17:35.160 tipped to the other side. My bride, who's a very 0:17:35.160 --> 0:17:38.080 good host, she tried to jump in and save the 0:17:38.119 --> 0:17:41.600 moment by doing what a lot of boozers don't like, 0:17:42.480 --> 0:17:45.879 and that was her grabbing his hand and saying, David, 0:17:45.960 --> 0:17:48.640 let's move to the end of the table. I think 0:17:48.800 --> 0:17:54.119 family down there want to visit with you. Now, David 0:17:54.200 --> 0:17:56.199 might have been tipped to the other side, but he 0:17:56.280 --> 0:17:58.919 knew exactly what she was doing, and he was like, 0:17:59.160 --> 0:18:01.080 fuck you, I know what you're doing. You're trying to 0:18:01.119 --> 0:18:03.560 get me out of here because I'm annoying all of you. 0:18:05.720 --> 0:18:09.280 And he looks at my cousin and my cousin's wife 0:18:09.960 --> 0:18:13.240 and he does the double birds. He looks all of 0:18:13.320 --> 0:18:16.400 us right in the eyes, and he says, fuck you, guys. 0:18:20.560 --> 0:18:23.679 We're putting in a couple more food orders for appetizers. 0:18:24.160 --> 0:18:27.439 And now David is talking and trying to make this 0:18:27.520 --> 0:18:30.840 waitress laugh, and he's getting a little bit handsy with her. 0:18:33.520 --> 0:18:36.560 I scooped my chair back a little bit so that 0:18:36.720 --> 0:18:40.520 there's some distance between me and David. And David tells 0:18:40.560 --> 0:18:44.280 the waitress he's getting married tomorrow. Look at He's already 0:18:44.280 --> 0:18:48.560 for a lap dance from you, all right. He's getting 0:18:48.600 --> 0:18:54.520 right to the point scrippish of people too, and now 0:18:55.880 --> 0:18:59.440 my Tenderoni puts her hands over her face, like, oh 0:18:59.520 --> 0:19:02.359 my god, just get this guy out of here. Um. 0:19:02.920 --> 0:19:05.280 And so now he's ready to leave. He's like, Okay, 0:19:05.320 --> 0:19:08.520 I did my job here, My job is finished. He 0:19:08.640 --> 0:19:11.440 walks over. He talks to the girl at the front 0:19:11.480 --> 0:19:13.879 of the restaurant, and we're kind of watching him. We're like, 0:19:13.920 --> 0:19:15.920 why why does he keep talking to her? And then 0:19:15.920 --> 0:19:18.639 he just leaves. He walks out the front doors. He's gone. 0:19:18.920 --> 0:19:22.639 He gone. Fast forward a half hour, we're all finished eating. 0:19:23.200 --> 0:19:26.920 The waitress comes over and she says, your check is handled. 0:19:28.160 --> 0:19:30.240 So what he did is when he was talking to 0:19:30.280 --> 0:19:32.879 that girl at the front, he was giving them his 0:19:32.960 --> 0:19:36.880 card info. Yeah, I guess he kind of felt bad 0:19:37.000 --> 0:19:40.800 for the little thing, but he paid for the whole check. 0:19:43.040 --> 0:19:46.399 This guy's got cash. I don't know. I don't know 0:19:46.480 --> 0:19:48.840 he didn't. It didn't look like it. Um. Is gonna 0:19:48.840 --> 0:19:50.399 be one of those things when he sobers up. What 0:19:50.440 --> 0:19:54.439 the fund did I just do here? We wondered that 0:19:54.600 --> 0:19:58.359 same thing, Ben, because he still should have been on 0:19:58.480 --> 0:20:00.199 foot at that point, because it would have on a 0:20:00.280 --> 0:20:05.400 long walk. Can't find him, call his phone, he answers finally, 0:20:05.520 --> 0:20:11.000 and we're like, where are you? And he says, in America. Now, 0:20:11.080 --> 0:20:13.680 I's just working with us because we're like, dude, thanks 0:20:13.680 --> 0:20:16.520 for paying for the bill. You didn't need to walk out, 0:20:16.600 --> 0:20:19.200 like we're trying to give you a ride. Where are you? 0:20:19.560 --> 0:20:21.760 And he said, at least he's not in Guam at 0:20:21.760 --> 0:20:25.119 that his Guam American territory. I don't know. Yeah, go ahead, 0:20:25.600 --> 0:20:28.320 don't worry about me. I'm just gonna find the beach 0:20:29.000 --> 0:20:32.480 and take a nap. Nobody can locate him. He is 0:20:32.520 --> 0:20:35.920 answering his phone and he's laughing, he's cracking jokes. He's 0:20:35.920 --> 0:20:38.960 still being a dick. He's like, fuck you guys, I'm 0:20:38.960 --> 0:20:41.639 in America. That's all that matters. I'm gonna sleep on 0:20:41.680 --> 0:20:45.119 the beach. It's better than being with you turds and 0:20:45.240 --> 0:20:47.760 stuff like that. So they're kind of worried about him, 0:20:47.800 --> 0:20:49.520 but at the same time, he has a history of 0:20:49.560 --> 0:20:53.160 some of this. They find him the following day. It 0:20:53.200 --> 0:20:58.240 turns out, instead of walking towards the beach, he walked inland. 0:21:01.280 --> 0:21:06.440 So he yeah, he walked. He waldered twenty minutes into 0:21:07.119 --> 0:21:10.520 the island rather than to the beach. So he fell 0:21:10.560 --> 0:21:13.840 asleep on the side of a road. Is that right, jeez. 0:21:15.359 --> 0:21:18.880 So yeah, he brought the fireworks to the party. Oh yeah, 0:21:19.320 --> 0:21:24.879 you gotta have cut all right. Well, so for for me, uh, 0:21:25.000 --> 0:21:29.440 the Thanksgiving holiday last week, we had original podcast all 0:21:29.480 --> 0:21:33.520 weekend and what a Thanksgiving it was at the Mallard mansion. 0:21:34.320 --> 0:21:37.320 And I've now picked up a skill as a short 0:21:37.440 --> 0:21:43.879 order cook. Here one of the longest days of my 0:21:43.880 --> 0:21:50.040 my life. Man. Uh. And so it started out I 0:21:50.080 --> 0:21:54.560 did the radio show Thanksgiving Thanksgiving even to Thanksgiving, so 0:21:54.600 --> 0:21:56.400 I dug my heels in I did the radio show. 0:21:56.400 --> 0:21:59.280 I was like, hey, I always worried my wife requested 0:21:59.280 --> 0:22:01.920 I take off Thanksgiving night. I'm actually glad she did 0:22:01.920 --> 0:22:07.000 in retrospect because I did the radio show. Then you 0:22:07.040 --> 0:22:09.800 were you were busy in Hawaii, Danny. So Alex Tisher, 0:22:09.800 --> 0:22:12.000 who who was in, did a great job on the podcast. 0:22:12.440 --> 0:22:16.640 He was able to record Thanksgiving morning after the show. 0:22:16.680 --> 0:22:19.399 A couple hours after the show. Uh you know, a 0:22:19.440 --> 0:22:22.960 few several hours after show, we recorded the podcast for 0:22:23.080 --> 0:22:26.320 the weekend Benny Versus the Penny and whatnot, and so 0:22:26.359 --> 0:22:28.399 we were doing that and then so I go from 0:22:28.400 --> 0:22:32.680 the radio show to the podcast. Then after that, I'm like, well, 0:22:32.680 --> 0:22:35.520 wait a minute, we've got this we're hosting Thanksgiving. Some 0:22:35.560 --> 0:22:38.679 of the older relatives have moved on and my my 0:22:38.720 --> 0:22:41.919 mom and dad are gone, and my wife's family some 0:22:42.040 --> 0:22:45.240 changes there with whatnot and people getting divorced and things 0:22:45.280 --> 0:22:47.640 like that, and so it was our turn to step 0:22:47.760 --> 0:22:51.439 up and host Thanksgiving. It was like a big deal, right, aunt's, 0:22:51.520 --> 0:22:55.480 uncle's cousins, people and most my wife's family were. We're 0:22:55.520 --> 0:22:59.080 there and so uh we we had this this menu 0:22:59.119 --> 0:23:02.840 and my job was to prepare the main the main course. 0:23:02.880 --> 0:23:06.840 We decided not to make turkey. My wife's like, I 0:23:06.840 --> 0:23:08.720 don't like turkey. She don't want to deal with turkey 0:23:08.760 --> 0:23:11.520 and all that. So I wanted to do turkey. So 0:23:11.920 --> 0:23:16.919 I made a traditional just like the Pilgrims eight when 0:23:16.960 --> 0:23:20.840 they came on the Mayflower fahitas. Uh. And we had 0:23:20.920 --> 0:23:23.960 a traditional Thanksgiving fahitas. But in order to make the 0:23:24.000 --> 0:23:26.320 feedas I and there were a lot of people that 0:23:26.359 --> 0:23:28.720 were there, so I had to After the podcast, I 0:23:28.720 --> 0:23:31.280 went into the kitchen. I went out of the room, 0:23:31.359 --> 0:23:34.119 down the hall, made a turn, went down the stairs, 0:23:34.240 --> 0:23:36.080 went around the corner and then went to the kitchen. 0:23:36.240 --> 0:23:38.960 And so I then had to uh, I had to 0:23:39.160 --> 0:23:42.280 pound the chicken. There's a joke there, and then had 0:23:42.280 --> 0:23:44.440 to cut up the chicken and the little pieces and 0:23:44.440 --> 0:23:47.720 and then season it for so it tastes good when 0:23:47.720 --> 0:23:50.159 you put it on the griddle. And so I do that, 0:23:50.160 --> 0:23:52.639 and I had to cut up the vegetables, the bell pepper, 0:23:52.680 --> 0:23:55.520 the onion, all that. So it was a lot. I 0:23:55.560 --> 0:23:57.320 was feeding a lot of people, so it took a 0:23:57.359 --> 0:24:01.320 long time to put all that together. Uh. At the 0:24:01.359 --> 0:24:05.080 same time, I also that same day, I had made dessert. 0:24:05.160 --> 0:24:10.920 I made cinnamon raising cookies, chocolate chip cookies. And since 0:24:10.960 --> 0:24:13.199 I'm now the chocolate tier, Danny, we talked about that 0:24:13.240 --> 0:24:14.800 in the previous episode of the shot and if you 0:24:14.840 --> 0:24:16.840 were here for that one, but I'm the chocolate tier, 0:24:17.640 --> 0:24:21.040 and so I made some chocolates. I melted some chocolate 0:24:21.040 --> 0:24:23.480