Speaker 1: You need player leadership because player let teams win, and
Speaker 1: coaches can't wait and wish for team leaders. Coaches need
Speaker 1: to systemically purposely develop and.
Speaker 2: Build leaders on their team.
Speaker 1: And then once you get those things, then you can
Speaker 1: look at the x's and o's.
Speaker 2: And all of that. But we need to be more
Speaker 2: purposeful in how we develop that.
Speaker 3: This is the Reform Sports Project, a podcast about restoring
Speaker 3: healthy balance and perspective in all areas of sports through
Speaker 3: education and advocacy. Hi, this is Nick Boncor for the
Speaker 3: Reform Sports Podcast. My guest today is Greg Burke, teacher, coach,
Speaker 3: school administrator, and author. He currently serves as the high
Speaker 3: school principal and varsity boys basketball coach in Lake City, Minnesota.
Speaker 3: He is also the owner of GB one Leadership, LLC
Speaker 3: and a licensed sports leadership facilitator through the Jansen Sports
Speaker 3: Leadership Center. Greg and I discussed the twenty commitments of
Speaker 3: being a successful sports pirent, his motto no deposit, No Return,
Speaker 3: and the importance of defining roles. I got another just
Speaker 3: phenomenal guest, a pump to have this dude, Greg burg Greg,
Speaker 3: thanks so much for hopping on man.
Speaker 2: Thanks Nick, appreciate it.
Speaker 3: Greg. We connected. I followed you on social media. I
Speaker 3: see your content me and your background as a high
Speaker 3: school administrator, as a coach. You know, now you've been
Speaker 3: writing for so long, and I love your leadership content.
Speaker 3: You have this gb one platform where you're putting out
Speaker 3: an information about your experience and just so much helpful content.
Speaker 3: What I love is I have a lot of coaches on,
Speaker 3: I have a lot of athletes, a lot of professionals
Speaker 3: in different spaces. What I love most about having you
Speaker 3: on is you wear a lot of different hats, and
Speaker 3: I want to jump right out and ask you this question.
Speaker 3: I often talk about the similarities between coaching and teaching.
Speaker 3: Teaching coach, and they kind of go hand in hand.
Speaker 3: You know, we have a lot of sports parents and
Speaker 3: such that I'll listen to this. I'll often convey and
Speaker 3: advocate for let the kids be coached, let them be taught.
Speaker 3: What's it like working with parents from an administrator side,
Speaker 3: from the educational side, and from the coaching side. Is
Speaker 3: it the same? Is a different different expectation? Can you
Speaker 3: just talk us through that situation?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I think my background is just a
Speaker 1: little bit unique in that, you know, and I'll give
Speaker 1: a quick summary in my background, people can kind of
Speaker 1: understand appreciate it. But I became a head coach at
Speaker 1: a really young age, at you know, twenty six years old,
Speaker 1: a varsity coach.
Speaker 2: I replaced a a Hall.
Speaker 1: Of Fame coach in Minnesota basketball coach, and so I
Speaker 1: was the head coach at a very young age.
Speaker 2: And I did that for seven years.
Speaker 1: And then I got my administrative degree and I had
Speaker 1: to get out of coaching at age thirty three. So
Speaker 1: I became a principal at age thirty three once to
Speaker 1: a neighboring district.
Speaker 2: Came back to.
Speaker 1: Lake City a couple of years after that to be
Speaker 1: the principal there, and then I had the opportunity to
Speaker 1: get back into coaching, and I've been back for eleven
Speaker 1: years now.
Speaker 2: As the varsity basketball coach.
Speaker 1: So's what's interesting is I was a coach at a
Speaker 1: young age.
Speaker 2: You know, knew you know.
Speaker 1: Made a lot of mistakes, grew a lot, you know.
Speaker 2: We had success.
Speaker 1: But we've had a ton of success here this last
Speaker 1: eleven years. So probably my core time, you know, I'm
Speaker 1: in my like mid thirties to early forties. I wasn't
Speaker 1: a head coach. I was coaching more at the youth level,
Speaker 1: but I was an administrator, so I've seen it from
Speaker 1: so many perspective. I've raised two kids, both of them
Speaker 1: are in college now, both three sport athletes, So see
Speaker 1: it from an administrative hat head coaching, as a young coach,
Speaker 1: as a you know, older coach now, and yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: I would say parents care about their kids. You know,
Speaker 1: parents want the best for their kids. And you know,
Speaker 1: there's too many examples out there of parents maybe being
Speaker 1: over the top, but you know, most of the parents
Speaker 1: are great people that are focused and can think in
Speaker 1: terms of the team, but they want what's best for
Speaker 1: their kids.
Speaker 2: And I think, you know, part of.
Speaker 1: My drive with what I'm doing is to make the
Speaker 1: best coaches that I can because our kids need them
Speaker 1: so bad in our world right now, and also to
Speaker 1: educate parents and other people and try to help them
Speaker 1: understand the challenges of coaching. So I don't know if
Speaker 1: I answered your question directly, Nick, I'd love to go
Speaker 1: deeper on that, but you know, I think that's the
Speaker 1: bottom line, as parents really are focused on their kids,
Speaker 1: and you know, they want what's best for them.
Speaker 2: For the most.
Speaker 3: Part, what I often see, you know, in discussing with
Speaker 3: parents and such is like there's confusion, like how do
Speaker 3: you navigate? How do you juggle? How do you you know,
Speaker 3: hold your kids accountable with you know, allowing coaches to
Speaker 3: be the ones that are running there. But there's also
Speaker 3: bad eggs, right, you know, So how do you kind
Speaker 3: of surrender the reins without you know, if you feel
Speaker 3: like maybe the person that's you know, whether that be
Speaker 3: in the classroom, whether that be you know, on the
Speaker 3: basketball court, maybe isn't the best suited you know, So
Speaker 3: how do you navigate the surrender the control a lot
Speaker 3: of the kids to be coached versus man, this coach
Speaker 3: isn't quite what my kid needs, you know.
Speaker 2: I think there's there's two things, two keys.
Speaker 1: And I actually just two days ago and Nick I
Speaker 1: wrote the sports parent handbook, the twenty Commandments of being
Speaker 1: a Successful Sports Parent, and I talk a lot of
Speaker 1: all these things in that and it's about a six
Speaker 1: page dogment.
Speaker 2: It's a free download online. But I think it's really.
Speaker 1: Good for coaches administrators to give to parents.
Speaker 2: I say there's two things. Number one is.
Speaker 1: Parents have to remember that this is their child's experience,
Speaker 1: not theirs. First and foremost, that's the most important part
Speaker 1: of being a parent. And you know when when parents
Speaker 1: oftentimes get into trouble, it's because they're thinking it's their experience,
Speaker 1: and it's it's really not. It's it's their kids. And
Speaker 1: Number two is to accept the struggle of team sports.
Speaker 1: And we all know when you're part of a team,
Speaker 1: there are so many unique challenges that go into that.
Speaker 1: That's what makes coaching such a difficult job. You're managing,
Speaker 1: however many people basketballs, you know, fifteen people and all
Speaker 1: their wants and needs and goals and dreams, and you're
Speaker 1: trying to bring them together as one group, as one team, and.
Speaker 2: That's incredibly tough.
Speaker 1: And so there's going to be struggles, and I think
Speaker 1: parents needing to just accept the fact that there's going
Speaker 1: to be ups and downs.
Speaker 2: There's going to be struggles, and my job as a parent.
Speaker 1: Is to help my kid navigate that through their experience
Speaker 1: and not try to solve their problems for them. But
Speaker 1: the lessons learned, as we know, in team sports are
Speaker 1: incredible and if we do it right and we help
Speaker 1: our kids navigate that, the people they become on the
Speaker 1: back end is way worth any accolades they get through
Speaker 1: the process.
Speaker 3: So hypothetically, you know, my son or daughter is trying
Speaker 3: out for the varsity basketball team. Right, there are sophomore
Speaker 3: in high school and they're on the cusp, right, you know,
Speaker 3: they don't get put on the varsity team and they're
Speaker 3: on the JV. And oftentimes you hear it's not fair.
Speaker 3: You know it's not fair. And I had a guest
Speaker 3: on recently he's a college coach, talked about fear doesn't
Speaker 3: exist in his world in college coaching, and opportunity does.
Speaker 3: But is there difference between the collegiate aspect and high school?
Speaker 3: Like where do we draw the line between you know,
Speaker 3: what's owed? Like people think at times everyone deserves the
Speaker 3: same amount of playing time, but I always advocate for
Speaker 3: like high school's a different animal versus the youth level,
Speaker 3: Like obviously everything needs to be earned, but there's not
Speaker 3: equal playing to How do you navigate the playing time
Speaker 3: situation when it comes to high school athletics from a JV,
Speaker 3: varsity even freshman standpoint?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you know it's it's a competitive level
Speaker 1: at that level.
Speaker 2: And I tell this with our parents.
Speaker 1: We have a pack meing parent athlete coaches meeting seven
Speaker 1: through twelve, and I share this philosophy at a very
Speaker 1: young age, and I kind of work backwards and I say,
Speaker 1: you know, what the varsity level is competitive basketball. There
Speaker 1: are opportunities to play basketball.
Speaker 2: You can play.
Speaker 1: You know, we don't have ermurals, but a lot of
Speaker 1: bigger schools might have innermurals. It might have you know,
Speaker 1: less competitive AAU teams. There's a lot of opportunities to play.
Speaker 2: But at the high.
Speaker 1: School ursity levels, it's competitive and your team is the
Speaker 1: best team that you can put on the court for your.
Speaker 2: School, regardless of grade. You know, that's the best team
Speaker 2: you can put on the court.
Speaker 1: Now, as you get down to JV level, that's kind
Speaker 1: of tenth grade and below for us, and then the
Speaker 1: C squad level would be ninth grade and below. And
Speaker 1: the playing time changes at each level. And in middle school,
Speaker 1: you know, we ensure quality playing time for all kids
Speaker 1: that show up and are committed, you know, and come.
Speaker 2: To practice and so forth.
Speaker 1: We never use equal because it's impossible, and but we
Speaker 1: use quality playing time.
Speaker 2: And the same thing at the elementary level. All kids
Speaker 2: are going to play.
Speaker 1: It's going to be quality playing time because it's part
Speaker 1: of the normal growth and development of being a kid
Speaker 1: is you need that opportunity, that experience to play. As
Speaker 1: you get into the high school level, there's a little.
Speaker 2: Bit more of a commitment expectation.
Speaker 1: And we're also really we talk about roles a lot
Speaker 1: on teams, especially at a varsity level, and we do
Speaker 1: a lot of unique things to help communicate that with kids.
Speaker 1: And we've had I've had I mean, I could probably
Speaker 1: tell you on one hand in my eighteen nineteen years
Speaker 1: that I've had to talk to a parent about anything.
Speaker 2: And I think, you know, the key is a coach
Speaker 2: is to be very proactive, to be a very good communicator,
Speaker 2: to be very upfront and honest.
Speaker 1: I think a lot of coaches make that mistake because
Speaker 1: they're not honest with kids.
Speaker 2: They're they're trying to please them.
Speaker 1: They try to promise things to them, and that usually
Speaker 1: gets you know, coaches in drouble and so a lot
Speaker 1: of things. But I do think at the varsity levels
Speaker 1: it's a competitive environment and that's okay. The mantra of
Speaker 1: our program is no deposit, no return, So we do
Speaker 1: have this mindset of want everything to be earned. I
Speaker 1: think that's a great life lesson for kids. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it's a progression. And obviously the youth level
Speaker 1: all kids are playing, it's quality playing time for everyone,
Speaker 1: and it kind of gradually changes as they get older.
Speaker 3: I love how you brought up communication. I feel like
Speaker 3: there's so much lost when walls are put up in
Speaker 3: boundaries about you know, parents, guardians have at times they
Speaker 3: feel like they can't approach a coach. Some put up
Speaker 3: a wall, others are very communicative. What is the fine balance?
Speaker 3: I mean, is it an open door policy? Is it
Speaker 3: because you said you can count on one hand and
Speaker 3: roughly I guess you said eighteen nineteen years in which
Speaker 3: you've had issues like that's I've heard coaches that are
Speaker 3: one or two years in that that are overwhelmed. A
Speaker 3: lot of that could be due to experience and learning
Speaker 3: these things. But like when you talk about communication and
Speaker 3: making sure the lines of communication are open with how
Speaker 3: do you do that? Where the boundaries? How do you
Speaker 3: communicate with the parents to keep it where it's where
Speaker 3: it's smooth?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know a few things, and obviously when you've
Speaker 1: been in it a little bit longer, you've kind of
Speaker 1: developed some credibility that helps. But I you know, I
Speaker 1: did a lot of this stuff as a really young
Speaker 1: coach too, and you know, the first thing I would
Speaker 1: say is, you know, be very honest about playing time,
Speaker 1: about team makeup, about what they're going to expect.
Speaker 2: You know. I tell her parents, you know, in.
Speaker 1: A typical competitive game, most teams, most coaches, including myself,
Speaker 1: are probably going to play eight.
Speaker 2: Kids, you know, consistently.
Speaker 1: You know, you might get a ninth or tenth then
Speaker 1: dependent on a situation, but it's not going to be
Speaker 1: for tons of minutes. That's pretty typical across the sport
Speaker 1: of basketball. And so I also tell them, you know,
Speaker 1: in any situation where we have a lead or we're behind,
Speaker 1: I'm going to get everyone in. I'm gonna do what
Speaker 1: I can and any time to get them in, and
Speaker 1: we'll set up other you know, like non varsity games
Speaker 1: on a weekend to get some kids some playing time.
Speaker 1: But you gotta be very honest with them because if
Speaker 1: they ever come back to you later on, you want
Speaker 1: to have something that you can fall back on and say,
Speaker 1: you know what. I was very clear with this at
Speaker 1: our pack meeting at the beginning of the year. What
Speaker 1: you know, my expectations were in how this is going
Speaker 1: to work. Your child is very aware of it.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: The second thing is, you know, if you're going to
Speaker 1: talk with a parent, the kid has to be with them.
Speaker 1: I mean, unless you're talking about something that is very sensitive,
Speaker 1: the child needs to be there. It's their experience. And
Speaker 1: I keep going back to that with parents, it's not
Speaker 1: your experience at your child's. And a lot of times
Speaker 1: the kid has a different perspective. You know what they
Speaker 1: you know, what they talk about at home with the parents.
Speaker 1: At times they're appeasing their parents' conversation. It's not really
Speaker 1: what they want. So that's really important. And then one
Speaker 1: really unique thing that I do at the beginning of
Speaker 1: the year, and I do this to help define roles
Speaker 1: with kids, is I have them fill out this pretty
Speaker 1: lengthy self perception form and I ask them a lot
Speaker 1: of questions. I ask them about their role on the team.
Speaker 1: I asked them about the leaders on our team. And
Speaker 1: one thing I do in it is I said, if
Speaker 1: we had a game tomorrow, who would be probably our
Speaker 1: top five guys that would be starting, Who would be
Speaker 1: our first tier off the bench, and who would be
Speaker 1: our second tier off the bench. And I want you
Speaker 1: to put your name in the middle of this list
Speaker 1: as well. And so what I'm doing and I don't
Speaker 1: share this with kids or anything, but I want to
Speaker 1: know where do they see themselves, where do they see
Speaker 1: their teammates? And I want to come care that's where
Speaker 1: I see them right now. And so if everyone everyone
Speaker 1: does that, I take all that information and I put
Speaker 1: it on a spreadsheet just to get an idea, and
Speaker 1: I can say, you know that the team sees Johnny
Speaker 1: kind of in that first tier guy off the match,
Speaker 1: That's where I see him, But Johnny sees himself in
Speaker 1: our top five. Well, I know that I have to
Speaker 1: have a conversation with Johnny about maybe his role. And
Speaker 1: more times than that, kids are spot on with where
Speaker 1: they think they are, where the team thinks they are,
Speaker 1: and where I do.
Speaker 2: And so if I ever had a.
Speaker 1: Parent issue, you know, that's something that I can fall
Speaker 1: back on if I need to.
Speaker 2: Have never had to use it, but.
Speaker 1: I do that just to really start the discussion on roles,
Speaker 1: and so I think there's a lot of things that
Speaker 1: coaches need to do.
Speaker 2: Those are just a couple. I'm sure I could share
Speaker 2: more as well.
Speaker 3: When we return, Greg and I take a deep dive
Speaker 3: into leadership welcome back. Where we left off, Greg and
Speaker 3: I were about to do discussed the importance of collective
Speaker 3: leadership and a positive team culture. I feel like that
Speaker 3: piece that you are talking about there, when it comes
Speaker 3: to leadership in particular, I know that's something that you're very,
Speaker 3: very big on. How do you establish and I guess
Speaker 3: empower leaders? I know from my own experience, like it's
Speaker 3: often known amongst the kids like who are quote unquote
Speaker 3: the alphas or whatever the case is. But do you
Speaker 3: kind of let it work itself out? How do you know,
Speaker 3: promote an environment which allows kids to become leaders and
Speaker 3: foster that and empower those that might not be the
Speaker 3: quote unquote alpha but can help be a productive role.
Speaker 3: And I mean I think leadership. You know, some people
Speaker 3: will say can't be taught, You're born a leader. I
Speaker 3: think that there's different ways to be a leader. Some
Speaker 3: are very vocal, some are not. How do you foster
Speaker 3: leadership from a coaching standpoint but also from a classroom
Speaker 3: an even administrative standpoint.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is something I'm real passionate about. I wrote
Speaker 1: a big course and course called the Team Leader OS
Speaker 1: to help coaches develop team leaders on their team. For
Speaker 1: this reason because ultimately, the reason that teams and programs
Speaker 1: are successful, Number one is it always starts with a
Speaker 1: positive culture, a good culture. That's the number one job
Speaker 1: of a coach is to build a culture, and culture
Speaker 1: I define it three ways. Culture is what you allow,
Speaker 1: it's what you emphasize, and it's every day. And number two,
Speaker 1: you need player leadership because player let teams win, and
Speaker 1: coaches can't wait and wish for team leaders. Coaches need
Speaker 1: to systemically, purposely develop and build leaders on their team.
Speaker 1: And then once you get those things, then you can
Speaker 1: look at the x's and o's and all of that.
Speaker 1: But the reality is the two things that hurt coaches
Speaker 1: more than anything and get them in trouble more than
Speaker 1: anything is lack of culture and lack of leadership. So
Speaker 1: we need to be more purposeful in how we develop that.
Speaker 2: And so with.
Speaker 1: Leadership, I'm a big believer, like you said, in collective leadership,
Speaker 1: there are multiple ways to lead, and there are multiple
Speaker 1: types of leaders on a team. You mentioned the alpha.
Speaker 1: Sometimes that's what I call the gamer. You know, that's
Speaker 1: the one that you know in a game when the
Speaker 1: games on the line and someone needs the ball in
Speaker 1: their hands, you know, the kids know who that is
Speaker 1: and that person is going to be your decision maker.
Speaker 2: That doesn't mean.
Speaker 1: That that person is the best practice leader, the best
Speaker 1: locker room leader. I think sometimes as coaches, we we
Speaker 1: just wait and wish for our best player to be
Speaker 1: our best leader. It might happen once in a lifetime
Speaker 1: as a coach. To be honest, I think there's a
Speaker 1: statistic out there that like, at twenty percent of the time,
Speaker 1: your best player is your best leader, and I think
Speaker 1: that's very accurate. So you really need to encourage the
Speaker 1: other types of leaders. You know, I have what I
Speaker 1: call energy leaders. I mean these are the people that
Speaker 1: maybe aren't getting a ton of playing time at your
Speaker 1: bench leaders and they're bringing this positive energy to games
Speaker 1: and practices. That's a critical role on winning teams, and
Speaker 1: as a coach, you got to celebrate those.
Speaker 2: You know, you get what you emphasize.
Speaker 1: So you know, one thing we're doing this year on
Speaker 1: our team is we are recognizing and celebrating egbs, which
Speaker 1: are energy giving behaviors. Well, a lot of the kids
Speaker 1: that are best with egbs on our team may not
Speaker 1: always be our best players talent wise, but they bring
Speaker 1: energy that is contagious to the rest of the team,
Speaker 1: and I want to recognize and support that because I'm
Speaker 1: developing a leadership skill in them when I do that.
Speaker 1: And so I think talking about that with your kids
Speaker 1: as a coach, letting them know that, you know, leadership
Speaker 1: is just influence, that's all it is. So you think
Speaker 1: you as a teammate, how do you influence your teammates
Speaker 1: a lot of different ways. You're you're all leaders when
Speaker 1: you influence others, and so how can we influence others?
Speaker 1: And I think having these conversations with kids and kind
Speaker 1: of opening the door to not just focus on that
Speaker 1: stereotypical captain alpha type of person is really important for coaches.
Speaker 3: What you allow. I think I've heard that, you know,
Speaker 3: one of my all time coaches that I ever had,
Speaker 3: Mike Fox. I talk about him quite a lot. It
Speaker 3: was the head baseball coach University of North Carolina for
Speaker 3: twenty three years and we talked, you know, almost daily, uh,
Speaker 3: just about ideas and such. And that often comes up
Speaker 3: your culture as a coach, and you know, it's what
Speaker 3: you allow, right, what you allow kids to happen in
Speaker 3: your program. And I've seen situations where and I've heard
Speaker 3: about it, and I've seen a firsthand with teams and
Speaker 3: my kids have been on where you know, the rules
Speaker 3: don't apply to everybody, you know, And that's a big
Speaker 3: problem I know with my old coach when I was
Speaker 3: in college with Coach Fox and even you know, Coach
Speaker 3: Long and these my assistants, like they didn't care if
Speaker 3: you were an All American, Like there were boundaries and
Speaker 3: no matter who crossed them, there was going to be
Speaker 3: a repercussion or you know whatever as a result of
Speaker 3: stepping out of that. But if I'm a parent and
Speaker 3: my kids tell me, well, you know, so and so
Speaker 3: doesn't go to practic, but yet it's still starting every
Speaker 3: game or this, that and the other, whatever it is,
Speaker 3: how do you navigate it if quite frankly, you have
Speaker 3: a coach who's allowing, you know, kind of anarchy for
Speaker 3: lack of a better word. It's like, you know, so
Speaker 3: for coaches, how do you stay consistent with that? And secondly,
Speaker 3: as a parent, how do you navigate if the coach
Speaker 3: is inconsistent with that and your kid is obviously feeling
Speaker 3: the ramifications and doesn't really know how to navigate the
Speaker 3: kind of disarray of the culture.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, first of all, I would hope that's
Speaker 1: not happening. And I guess in my experience, I don't
Speaker 1: see it a lot, But I'm not saying it's not.
Speaker 1: Maybe commonplace in other places too, but you know, I
Speaker 1: would hope that a coach, you know, wouldn't be in
Speaker 1: that situation where kids that aren't showing up to practice
Speaker 1: are starting. I mean, that's a there's always bad apples
Speaker 1: and every profession, and there's bad coaches out there too.
Speaker 1: But I think, you know, like you said, it's when
Speaker 1: as a coach, you got to think everything comes down
Speaker 1: at what you allow.
Speaker 2: And what you emphasize.
Speaker 1: Those are the standards that you're creating in your program.
Speaker 1: And I think of this as a school administrator too.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: The best example I give is if I'm walking down
Speaker 1: the hall at school and I see a kid talking
Speaker 1: to his buddies and they swear and they're just talking
Speaker 1: to their buddies. But I walk by and I hear it,
Speaker 1: and I don't address it. Doesn't mean I'm going to
Speaker 1: punish them or anything like that, but I'm going to
Speaker 1: let them know that, hey, we don't talk that way.
Speaker 1: We don't need to say that whatever if I don't
Speaker 1: address it, I'm allowing it.
Speaker 2: And they know that they know them. When I walk
Speaker 2: by that, I hurt it.
Speaker 1: And and those are the things that are really important.
Speaker 1: These This is why culture is every day because you know,
Speaker 1: if I don't address these little things every day, they're
Speaker 1: going to turn into big things. It's kind of like parenting,
Speaker 1: you know, when our kids are young, that's when all
Speaker 1: the work is done as a parent. In my mind,
Speaker 1: like you're setting you know, expectations and you know you're
Speaker 1: loving your child and all that, but.
Speaker 2: You do that at a young age so that when
Speaker 2: they get.
Speaker 1: To that high school age and bigger things happen and
Speaker 1: all those kind of standards expectations have been set.
Speaker 2: It makes it a whole lot easier.
Speaker 1: And so you know, as a coach, you really have
Speaker 1: to be conscious of what am I allowing each and
Speaker 1: every day and then pick three things that are really
Speaker 1: really important to you and emphasize those over and over again,
Speaker 1: because we are what we emphasize. That's one thing I
Speaker 1: learned as a young coach at a clinic. You can't
Speaker 1: emphasize everything. And I think when I was young, I
Speaker 1: did emphasize too much. And now you know, I really
Speaker 1: emphasize three things in our program, and one is no
Speaker 1: a positive return. I want a mindset that everything is earned.
Speaker 1: I think that's a great life lesson for kids. Number Two,
Speaker 1: we talk about energy and being a positive energy giver
Speaker 1: all the time. I think energy is contagious and that's
Speaker 1: an important part of our program. And then number three
Speaker 1: is the concept of we over me and your team.
Speaker 1: And I just feel that, you know, if we have
Speaker 1: a team that has a everything is earned mindset, is
Speaker 1: team first, and they're positive energy givers, we're going to
Speaker 1: be okay. And so that's what I emphasize over and
Speaker 1: over again.
Speaker 2: And so.
Speaker 1: The culture is built every single day, and I think
Speaker 1: sometimes coaches feel like we finally got that good culture,
Speaker 1: and then they stop addressing it, and then they start
Speaker 1: allowing things that they wouldn't have allowed before, and then
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, they get a problem and they
Speaker 1: gotta they got to.
Speaker 2: Like recalibrate their culture.
Speaker 1: But that's why I try to simplify things as best
Speaker 1: I can. And that's that's how I have simplified culture.
Speaker 3: I think that as you're talking about every day, that's
Speaker 3: so critical consistency, right, and I can speak from it
Speaker 3: from a parenting standpoint, I mean, it's challenging and I
Speaker 3: have six kids and quite frankly, they wear me out.
Speaker 3: But it's also picking your bat's. I mean, it's also
Speaker 3: picking your battles. And I love how you pointed out
Speaker 3: that you know, you probably addressed every single thing like
Speaker 3: you mentioned when you were younger, but then you kind
Speaker 3: of figure out, you know, where I guess the most
Speaker 3: emphasis needs to be put, you know, as we come
Speaker 3: to wrap up here, and I appreciate your time, and
Speaker 3: you know the insight where do you think parents should
Speaker 3: when your kids are entering this journey? And I think,
Speaker 3: you know, it's I feel like it's often a lot
Speaker 3: easier as a sports parent, you know, in those early
Speaker 3: early ages. But then once the competitiveness starts to ramp
Speaker 3: up a little bit as your head towards middle school
Speaker 3: and people start, you know, looking at travel teams or
Speaker 3: whatever the case is, and you know, how do you
Speaker 3: step back and realize, like, hey, how do I navigate this?
Speaker 3: I guess what would be some advice as you're closing
Speaker 3: for parents to know, how do we kind of allow
Speaker 3: our kids for this experience to be theirs while still
Speaker 3: helping to guide them, knowing that obviously, you know, they're
Speaker 3: paying money, in many cases a lot of money. They're
Speaker 3: allocating a lot of time. They want to be able
Speaker 3: to have their kids have the best experience on and
Speaker 3: off the playing surfaces, courts, mats, grass, whatever it is.
Speaker 3: But at the same time be able to extract those lessons.
Speaker 3: How do they keep a full perspective without being I
Speaker 3: guess bent and held on performance and get caught up
Speaker 3: in the rat race of keeping up with the Joneses.
Speaker 2: Well, I think you hit the nail on the head.
Speaker 1: There is comparison is the thief of joy, and you know,
Speaker 1: I think with your own child, I'm reminded when you
Speaker 1: said that of.
Speaker 2: A great past summit story.
Speaker 1: Pass some with a longtime women's basketball coach at University
Speaker 1: of Tennessee, one of the best coaches to ever coach.
Speaker 2: And I might give the story a little bit off.
Speaker 1: But her son was trying out for a varsity basketball
Speaker 1: team and I don't know if he's in tenth creator
Speaker 1: maybe it was a lower level team.
Speaker 2: I can't remember.
Speaker 1: He didn't make the team, and she tells the story
Speaker 1: of her her son comes home and in the back
Speaker 1: of her mind the first thing she's thinking is, are
Speaker 1: you kidding me?
Speaker 2: You cut Pat Summit's kid from your team. You know,
Speaker 2: she knew that she had a.
Speaker 1: Lot of influence as a basketball coach or whatnot, but
Speaker 1: she never said that to her kid. And to her kid,
Speaker 1: her first response is did you do everything you could
Speaker 1: possibly do to make that team?
Speaker 2: And she turned it on him, and she turned it on.
Speaker 1: The work ethic and the commitment and the time and
Speaker 1: did you do everything possible to be the best that
Speaker 1: you could be? And he didn't and she knew that
Speaker 1: he didn't. And you know there was a consequence for that.
Speaker 1: And so I think as parents you have to think
Speaker 1: of the end goal.
Speaker 2: The end goal is not for them to be this.
Speaker 1: I mean, if they're you know, some parents can hung up,
Speaker 1: how I'm a kid to get a scholarship?
Speaker 2: Do you know how good they have to be to
Speaker 2: get a scholarship.
Speaker 1: If they're even close to not making a team there
Speaker 1: and they're not getting a scholarship, they're not that level
Speaker 1: of an athlete. If they're that good, they're going to
Speaker 1: make it.
Speaker 2: So your end.
Speaker 1: Goal is to provide the life lessons of sport. They're
Speaker 1: going to last for them throughout their entire life and
Speaker 1: all the skills that are learned. You really have to
Speaker 1: think of it that way. And you know, comparison is
Speaker 1: a thief of joy. Don't compare your kids to others.
Speaker 1: Building them this no deposit, no return mindset. I know
Speaker 1: it's tough, but the rewards you get when you can
Speaker 1: flip the switch and think of the process being the
Speaker 1: prize and not you know, the living in the moment
Speaker 1: are so incredible for parents, and I think, you know,
Speaker 1: you just you have to be mindful of tunnel vision
Speaker 1: as a parent because it's very normal as parents to
Speaker 1: just think of everything through your kids lens. And a
Speaker 1: coach's job, good or bad, is to look at it
Speaker 1: for the totality of the team. Coaches want to win,
Speaker 1: especially at the varsity levels, so they're doing everything that
Speaker 1: they think can help their team win.
Speaker 2: And so, you know, I think those things are really important.
Speaker 1: I wrote a post this week on why do parents
Speaker 1: sit alone? I didn't think it was going to be
Speaker 1: like a huge post. It got like one point two
Speaker 1: million views and it resonated with a lot of people.
Speaker 1: Parents sit alone because they don't want to hear the
Speaker 1: negativity and the drama and the stuff that goes on
Speaker 1: in the stands that compare and finger pointing to blaming.
Speaker 1: They want to just enjoy the experience with their kid,
Speaker 1: and I think we need to step back as parents
Speaker 1: and kind of think of that what the end goal
Speaker 1: is and what our ultimate responsibility is as parents. And
Speaker 1: I know that's easier said than done for some, but
Speaker 1: it's ultimately what I think we need to do.
Speaker 3: It's great. I'm not surprised that that post got a
Speaker 3: lot of reach and touched a lot of people because
Speaker 3: we wrote a blog. I wrote a blog last year,
Speaker 3: Life of a Lone Wolf sports Parent, talking exactly about that,
Speaker 3: and it got the same type of response. I mean, Greg,
Speaker 3: where can people find I know I found you on Twitter?
Speaker 3: Tell us your handles, your platforms, your website. Where can
Speaker 3: people find what you're doing and all of your great
Speaker 3: work that's being put out there?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Thanks Nick. I really just right on Twitter actively
Speaker 2: on Twitter or x now.
Speaker 1: I guess my handle is at GB eleven twenty one
Speaker 1: and so I've posted a few times a day.
Speaker 2: A lot of really good contents.
Speaker 1: I have a newsletter that a free newsletter that I
Speaker 1: published each week called Great Teams, Better Leaders, one, two three.
Speaker 1: You can subscribe to that on my Twitter handle, and
Speaker 1: I have a website that you can find a lot
Speaker 1: of other books I've written, my team leader os you
Speaker 1: know another free a lot of free resources I give
Speaker 1: away too.
Speaker 2: That's GB one leadership dot com.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I appreciate the opportunity Nick, and I love
Speaker 1: what you're doing. I love your stuff, and I'm honored
Speaker 1: to be a guest on this today, so I want
Speaker 1: to thank you for that as well.
Speaker 3: No doubt, man, it works both ways. I appreciate you
Speaker 3: coming on, sharing your insight, sharing your experience, definitely going
Speaker 3: to help a lot of people and keep doing what
Speaker 3: you're doing. I'll keep following you and everyone go check
Speaker 3: out greg stuff. It's it's high quality. It's definitely it
Speaker 3: helps me and in my journey as a sports parent,
Speaker 3: and I just love connecting with great people out there
Speaker 3: doing great work. So I appreciate you coming on.
Speaker 2: Greg.
Speaker 3: That's Greg Berg High School principal, basketball coach and teacher.
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