1 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:07,680 Speaker 1: You need player leadership because player let teams win, and 2 00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:11,239 Speaker 1: coaches can't wait and wish for team leaders. Coaches need 3 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:14,080 Speaker 1: to systemically purposely develop and. 4 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,360 Speaker 2: Build leaders on their team. 5 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,960 Speaker 1: And then once you get those things, then you can 6 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,360 Speaker 1: look at the x's and o's. 7 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:21,239 Speaker 2: And all of that. But we need to be more 8 00:00:21,239 --> 00:00:22,919 Speaker 2: purposeful in how we develop that. 9 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:29,600 Speaker 3: This is the Reform Sports Project, a podcast about restoring 10 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:32,839 Speaker 3: healthy balance and perspective in all areas of sports through 11 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:36,560 Speaker 3: education and advocacy. Hi, this is Nick Boncor for the 12 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:41,000 Speaker 3: Reform Sports Podcast. My guest today is Greg Burke, teacher, coach, 13 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:44,879 Speaker 3: school administrator, and author. He currently serves as the high 14 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:49,280 Speaker 3: school principal and varsity boys basketball coach in Lake City, Minnesota. 15 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:52,240 Speaker 3: He is also the owner of GB one Leadership, LLC 16 00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:56,480 Speaker 3: and a licensed sports leadership facilitator through the Jansen Sports 17 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:59,680 Speaker 3: Leadership Center. Greg and I discussed the twenty commitments of 18 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:03,880 Speaker 3: being a successful sports pirent, his motto no deposit, No Return, 19 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:07,440 Speaker 3: and the importance of defining roles. I got another just 20 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:11,280 Speaker 3: phenomenal guest, a pump to have this dude, Greg burg Greg, 21 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:12,720 Speaker 3: thanks so much for hopping on man. 22 00:01:12,959 --> 00:01:14,160 Speaker 2: Thanks Nick, appreciate it. 23 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:16,760 Speaker 3: Greg. We connected. I followed you on social media. I 24 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:19,080 Speaker 3: see your content me and your background as a high 25 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:22,360 Speaker 3: school administrator, as a coach. You know, now you've been 26 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:25,480 Speaker 3: writing for so long, and I love your leadership content. 27 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:27,920 Speaker 3: You have this gb one platform where you're putting out 28 00:01:27,959 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 3: an information about your experience and just so much helpful content. 29 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:32,880 Speaker 3: What I love is I have a lot of coaches on, 30 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:34,880 Speaker 3: I have a lot of athletes, a lot of professionals 31 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:37,280 Speaker 3: in different spaces. What I love most about having you 32 00:01:37,319 --> 00:01:39,800 Speaker 3: on is you wear a lot of different hats, and 33 00:01:39,959 --> 00:01:42,640 Speaker 3: I want to jump right out and ask you this question. 34 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:46,240 Speaker 3: I often talk about the similarities between coaching and teaching. 35 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:48,360 Speaker 3: Teaching coach, and they kind of go hand in hand. 36 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:50,400 Speaker 3: You know, we have a lot of sports parents and 37 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:52,760 Speaker 3: such that I'll listen to this. I'll often convey and 38 00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:56,360 Speaker 3: advocate for let the kids be coached, let them be taught. 39 00:01:56,440 --> 00:02:00,440 Speaker 3: What's it like working with parents from an administrator side, 40 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:04,200 Speaker 3: from the educational side, and from the coaching side. Is 41 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:07,000 Speaker 3: it the same? Is a different different expectation? Can you 42 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,520 Speaker 3: just talk us through that situation? 43 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:10,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I think my background is just a 44 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:13,520 Speaker 1: little bit unique in that, you know, and I'll give 45 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:15,639 Speaker 1: a quick summary in my background, people can kind of 46 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:18,360 Speaker 1: understand appreciate it. But I became a head coach at 47 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:21,079 Speaker 1: a really young age, at you know, twenty six years old, 48 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:21,960 Speaker 1: a varsity coach. 49 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:24,079 Speaker 2: I replaced a a Hall. 50 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:27,480 Speaker 1: Of Fame coach in Minnesota basketball coach, and so I 51 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,120 Speaker 1: was the head coach at a very young age. 52 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:32,320 Speaker 2: And I did that for seven years. 53 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:34,720 Speaker 1: And then I got my administrative degree and I had 54 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:37,000 Speaker 1: to get out of coaching at age thirty three. So 55 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:39,320 Speaker 1: I became a principal at age thirty three once to 56 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:40,200 Speaker 1: a neighboring district. 57 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:40,919 Speaker 2: Came back to. 58 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:43,120 Speaker 1: Lake City a couple of years after that to be 59 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:45,440 Speaker 1: the principal there, and then I had the opportunity to 60 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:49,079 Speaker 1: get back into coaching, and I've been back for eleven 61 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:49,959 Speaker 1: years now. 62 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:51,360 Speaker 2: As the varsity basketball coach. 63 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:53,760 Speaker 1: So's what's interesting is I was a coach at a 64 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:54,519 Speaker 1: young age. 65 00:02:54,639 --> 00:02:56,280 Speaker 2: You know, knew you know. 66 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:59,280 Speaker 1: Made a lot of mistakes, grew a lot, you know. 67 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:00,840 Speaker 2: We had success. 68 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,760 Speaker 1: But we've had a ton of success here this last 69 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:09,000 Speaker 1: eleven years. So probably my core time, you know, I'm 70 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:13,160 Speaker 1: in my like mid thirties to early forties. I wasn't 71 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:15,240 Speaker 1: a head coach. I was coaching more at the youth level, 72 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:17,680 Speaker 1: but I was an administrator, so I've seen it from 73 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:19,919 Speaker 1: so many perspective. I've raised two kids, both of them 74 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:23,679 Speaker 1: are in college now, both three sport athletes, So see 75 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:27,560 Speaker 1: it from an administrative hat head coaching, as a young coach, 76 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:30,640 Speaker 1: as a you know, older coach now, and yeah, you know, 77 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:33,360 Speaker 1: I would say parents care about their kids. You know, 78 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:36,520 Speaker 1: parents want the best for their kids. And you know, 79 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:39,120 Speaker 1: there's too many examples out there of parents maybe being 80 00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:41,280 Speaker 1: over the top, but you know, most of the parents 81 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:45,560 Speaker 1: are great people that are focused and can think in 82 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 1: terms of the team, but they want what's best for 83 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:48,720 Speaker 1: their kids. 84 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:49,960 Speaker 2: And I think, you know, part of. 85 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:53,120 Speaker 1: My drive with what I'm doing is to make the 86 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,760 Speaker 1: best coaches that I can because our kids need them 87 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:58,320 Speaker 1: so bad in our world right now, and also to 88 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:01,200 Speaker 1: educate parents and other people and try to help them 89 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:04,040 Speaker 1: understand the challenges of coaching. So I don't know if 90 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:06,240 Speaker 1: I answered your question directly, Nick, I'd love to go 91 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:09,840 Speaker 1: deeper on that, but you know, I think that's the 92 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:13,080 Speaker 1: bottom line, as parents really are focused on their kids, 93 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:15,720 Speaker 1: and you know, they want what's best for them. 94 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:16,720 Speaker 2: For the most. 95 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:19,800 Speaker 3: Part, what I often see, you know, in discussing with 96 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:22,479 Speaker 3: parents and such is like there's confusion, like how do 97 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:25,520 Speaker 3: you navigate? How do you juggle? How do you you know, 98 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:29,279 Speaker 3: hold your kids accountable with you know, allowing coaches to 99 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,559 Speaker 3: be the ones that are running there. But there's also 100 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:33,640 Speaker 3: bad eggs, right, you know, So how do you kind 101 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:38,000 Speaker 3: of surrender the reins without you know, if you feel 102 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,359 Speaker 3: like maybe the person that's you know, whether that be 103 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:43,120 Speaker 3: in the classroom, whether that be you know, on the 104 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:47,440 Speaker 3: basketball court, maybe isn't the best suited you know, So 105 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:50,200 Speaker 3: how do you navigate the surrender the control a lot 106 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:52,520 Speaker 3: of the kids to be coached versus man, this coach 107 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:55,440 Speaker 3: isn't quite what my kid needs, you know. 108 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:57,719 Speaker 2: I think there's there's two things, two keys. 109 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:01,040 Speaker 1: And I actually just two days ago and Nick I 110 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:04,960 Speaker 1: wrote the sports parent handbook, the twenty Commandments of being 111 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,760 Speaker 1: a Successful Sports Parent, and I talk a lot of 112 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:09,680 Speaker 1: all these things in that and it's about a six 113 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:10,239 Speaker 1: page dogment. 114 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:12,800 Speaker 2: It's a free download online. But I think it's really. 115 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:15,800 Speaker 1: Good for coaches administrators to give to parents. 116 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,760 Speaker 2: I say there's two things. Number one is. 117 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:21,680 Speaker 1: Parents have to remember that this is their child's experience, 118 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:24,560 Speaker 1: not theirs. First and foremost, that's the most important part 119 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:27,640 Speaker 1: of being a parent. And you know when when parents 120 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:32,560 Speaker 1: oftentimes get into trouble, it's because they're thinking it's their experience, 121 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,000 Speaker 1: and it's it's really not. It's it's their kids. And 122 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:38,440 Speaker 1: Number two is to accept the struggle of team sports. 123 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:42,360 Speaker 1: And we all know when you're part of a team, 124 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:45,680 Speaker 1: there are so many unique challenges that go into that. 125 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:50,320 Speaker 1: That's what makes coaching such a difficult job. You're managing, 126 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:54,760 Speaker 1: however many people basketballs, you know, fifteen people and all 127 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,800 Speaker 1: their wants and needs and goals and dreams, and you're 128 00:05:56,839 --> 00:05:59,600 Speaker 1: trying to bring them together as one group, as one team, and. 129 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,039 Speaker 2: That's incredibly tough. 130 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:03,640 Speaker 1: And so there's going to be struggles, and I think 131 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:07,640 Speaker 1: parents needing to just accept the fact that there's going 132 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:08,479 Speaker 1: to be ups and downs. 133 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:11,000 Speaker 2: There's going to be struggles, and my job as a parent. 134 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:15,320 Speaker 1: Is to help my kid navigate that through their experience 135 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:19,360 Speaker 1: and not try to solve their problems for them. But 136 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 1: the lessons learned, as we know, in team sports are 137 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:25,640 Speaker 1: incredible and if we do it right and we help 138 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:28,560 Speaker 1: our kids navigate that, the people they become on the 139 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:33,560 Speaker 1: back end is way worth any accolades they get through 140 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:34,160 Speaker 1: the process. 141 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:38,440 Speaker 3: So hypothetically, you know, my son or daughter is trying 142 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:41,479 Speaker 3: out for the varsity basketball team. Right, there are sophomore 143 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:44,640 Speaker 3: in high school and they're on the cusp, right, you know, 144 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:46,640 Speaker 3: they don't get put on the varsity team and they're 145 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:49,440 Speaker 3: on the JV. And oftentimes you hear it's not fair. 146 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:51,520 Speaker 3: You know it's not fair. And I had a guest 147 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:54,760 Speaker 3: on recently he's a college coach, talked about fear doesn't 148 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:58,800 Speaker 3: exist in his world in college coaching, and opportunity does. 149 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:02,719 Speaker 3: But is there difference between the collegiate aspect and high school? 150 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:05,080 Speaker 3: Like where do we draw the line between you know, 151 00:07:05,279 --> 00:07:08,520 Speaker 3: what's owed? Like people think at times everyone deserves the 152 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:11,200 Speaker 3: same amount of playing time, but I always advocate for 153 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:14,800 Speaker 3: like high school's a different animal versus the youth level, 154 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:17,200 Speaker 3: Like obviously everything needs to be earned, but there's not 155 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:20,080 Speaker 3: equal playing to How do you navigate the playing time 156 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:23,360 Speaker 3: situation when it comes to high school athletics from a JV, 157 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:25,040 Speaker 3: varsity even freshman standpoint? 158 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:28,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you know it's it's a competitive level 159 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:29,480 Speaker 1: at that level. 160 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,640 Speaker 2: And I tell this with our parents. 161 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:36,119 Speaker 1: We have a pack meing parent athlete coaches meeting seven 162 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:40,000 Speaker 1: through twelve, and I share this philosophy at a very 163 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:43,440 Speaker 1: young age, and I kind of work backwards and I say, 164 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:47,400 Speaker 1: you know, what the varsity level is competitive basketball. There 165 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:49,160 Speaker 1: are opportunities to play basketball. 166 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:50,120 Speaker 2: You can play. 167 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:52,760 Speaker 1: You know, we don't have ermurals, but a lot of 168 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:55,680 Speaker 1: bigger schools might have innermurals. It might have you know, 169 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,920 Speaker 1: less competitive AAU teams. There's a lot of opportunities to play. 170 00:07:59,000 --> 00:07:59,640 Speaker 2: But at the high. 171 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:04,840 Speaker 1: School ursity levels, it's competitive and your team is the 172 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:07,520 Speaker 1: best team that you can put on the court for your. 173 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:11,040 Speaker 2: School, regardless of grade. You know, that's the best team 174 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:11,800 Speaker 2: you can put on the court. 175 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:13,680 Speaker 1: Now, as you get down to JV level, that's kind 176 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:16,120 Speaker 1: of tenth grade and below for us, and then the 177 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,920 Speaker 1: C squad level would be ninth grade and below. And 178 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:22,760 Speaker 1: the playing time changes at each level. And in middle school, 179 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,440 Speaker 1: you know, we ensure quality playing time for all kids 180 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:28,600 Speaker 1: that show up and are committed, you know, and come. 181 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:29,720 Speaker 2: To practice and so forth. 182 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:33,920 Speaker 1: We never use equal because it's impossible, and but we 183 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:35,280 Speaker 1: use quality playing time. 184 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,960 Speaker 2: And the same thing at the elementary level. All kids 185 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:38,600 Speaker 2: are going to play. 186 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:41,240 Speaker 1: It's going to be quality playing time because it's part 187 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:43,320 Speaker 1: of the normal growth and development of being a kid 188 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:46,760 Speaker 1: is you need that opportunity, that experience to play. As 189 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:50,000 Speaker 1: you get into the high school level, there's a little. 190 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:51,240 Speaker 2: Bit more of a commitment expectation. 191 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:55,120 Speaker 1: And we're also really we talk about roles a lot 192 00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:57,760 Speaker 1: on teams, especially at a varsity level, and we do 193 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:00,480 Speaker 1: a lot of unique things to help communicate that with kids. 194 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:03,679 Speaker 1: And we've had I've had I mean, I could probably 195 00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:06,400 Speaker 1: tell you on one hand in my eighteen nineteen years 196 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:08,120 Speaker 1: that I've had to talk to a parent about anything. 197 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,160 Speaker 2: And I think, you know, the key is a coach 198 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:14,000 Speaker 2: is to be very proactive, to be a very good communicator, 199 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:15,640 Speaker 2: to be very upfront and honest. 200 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,120 Speaker 1: I think a lot of coaches make that mistake because 201 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:20,400 Speaker 1: they're not honest with kids. 202 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:21,880 Speaker 2: They're they're trying to please them. 203 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:25,760 Speaker 1: They try to promise things to them, and that usually 204 00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:28,760 Speaker 1: gets you know, coaches in drouble and so a lot 205 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:31,439 Speaker 1: of things. But I do think at the varsity levels 206 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:35,520 Speaker 1: it's a competitive environment and that's okay. The mantra of 207 00:09:35,559 --> 00:09:37,840 Speaker 1: our program is no deposit, no return, So we do 208 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:40,480 Speaker 1: have this mindset of want everything to be earned. I 209 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,600 Speaker 1: think that's a great life lesson for kids. But yeah, 210 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:46,600 Speaker 1: I think it's a progression. And obviously the youth level 211 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:50,520 Speaker 1: all kids are playing, it's quality playing time for everyone, 212 00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:53,680 Speaker 1: and it kind of gradually changes as they get older. 213 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:55,920 Speaker 3: I love how you brought up communication. I feel like 214 00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:58,880 Speaker 3: there's so much lost when walls are put up in 215 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:03,080 Speaker 3: boundaries about you know, parents, guardians have at times they 216 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,600 Speaker 3: feel like they can't approach a coach. Some put up 217 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:10,720 Speaker 3: a wall, others are very communicative. What is the fine balance? 218 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:13,640 Speaker 3: I mean, is it an open door policy? Is it 219 00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:15,280 Speaker 3: because you said you can count on one hand and 220 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:17,280 Speaker 3: roughly I guess you said eighteen nineteen years in which 221 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:19,959 Speaker 3: you've had issues like that's I've heard coaches that are 222 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:23,560 Speaker 3: one or two years in that that are overwhelmed. A 223 00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:26,960 Speaker 3: lot of that could be due to experience and learning 224 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:30,160 Speaker 3: these things. But like when you talk about communication and 225 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:33,040 Speaker 3: making sure the lines of communication are open with how 226 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:35,960 Speaker 3: do you do that? Where the boundaries? How do you 227 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:38,000 Speaker 3: communicate with the parents to keep it where it's where 228 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:38,520 Speaker 3: it's smooth? 229 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know a few things, and obviously when you've 230 00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:44,320 Speaker 1: been in it a little bit longer, you've kind of 231 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:47,200 Speaker 1: developed some credibility that helps. But I you know, I 232 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:48,559 Speaker 1: did a lot of this stuff as a really young 233 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:51,440 Speaker 1: coach too, and you know, the first thing I would 234 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:55,360 Speaker 1: say is, you know, be very honest about playing time, 235 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:59,000 Speaker 1: about team makeup, about what they're going to expect. 236 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:00,959 Speaker 2: You know. I tell her parents, you know, in. 237 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:06,000 Speaker 1: A typical competitive game, most teams, most coaches, including myself, 238 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,880 Speaker 1: are probably going to play eight. 239 00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:09,600 Speaker 2: Kids, you know, consistently. 240 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:11,320 Speaker 1: You know, you might get a ninth or tenth then 241 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,360 Speaker 1: dependent on a situation, but it's not going to be 242 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:16,840 Speaker 1: for tons of minutes. That's pretty typical across the sport 243 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:19,680 Speaker 1: of basketball. And so I also tell them, you know, 244 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:23,960 Speaker 1: in any situation where we have a lead or we're behind, 245 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,480 Speaker 1: I'm going to get everyone in. I'm gonna do what 246 00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:27,160 Speaker 1: I can and any time to get them in, and 247 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:31,360 Speaker 1: we'll set up other you know, like non varsity games 248 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,480 Speaker 1: on a weekend to get some kids some playing time. 249 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:36,800 Speaker 1: But you gotta be very honest with them because if 250 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:39,520 Speaker 1: they ever come back to you later on, you want 251 00:11:39,559 --> 00:11:41,319 Speaker 1: to have something that you can fall back on and say, 252 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:43,360 Speaker 1: you know what. I was very clear with this at 253 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,080 Speaker 1: our pack meeting at the beginning of the year. What 254 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,880 Speaker 1: you know, my expectations were in how this is going 255 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:49,600 Speaker 1: to work. Your child is very aware of it. 256 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:50,880 Speaker 2: You know. 257 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,160 Speaker 1: The second thing is, you know, if you're going to 258 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:55,360 Speaker 1: talk with a parent, the kid has to be with them. 259 00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:58,439 Speaker 1: I mean, unless you're talking about something that is very sensitive, 260 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:02,120 Speaker 1: the child needs to be there. It's their experience. And 261 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:05,600 Speaker 1: I keep going back to that with parents, it's not 262 00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:07,840 Speaker 1: your experience at your child's. And a lot of times 263 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:11,200 Speaker 1: the kid has a different perspective. You know what they 264 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,280 Speaker 1: you know, what they talk about at home with the parents. 265 00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:17,280 Speaker 1: At times they're appeasing their parents' conversation. It's not really 266 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:20,280 Speaker 1: what they want. So that's really important. And then one 267 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:22,640 Speaker 1: really unique thing that I do at the beginning of 268 00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:25,360 Speaker 1: the year, and I do this to help define roles 269 00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:29,040 Speaker 1: with kids, is I have them fill out this pretty 270 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:31,800 Speaker 1: lengthy self perception form and I ask them a lot 271 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:34,439 Speaker 1: of questions. I ask them about their role on the team. 272 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,319 Speaker 1: I asked them about the leaders on our team. And 273 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,800 Speaker 1: one thing I do in it is I said, if 274 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,520 Speaker 1: we had a game tomorrow, who would be probably our 275 00:12:41,559 --> 00:12:43,720 Speaker 1: top five guys that would be starting, Who would be 276 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:46,240 Speaker 1: our first tier off the bench, and who would be 277 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:48,400 Speaker 1: our second tier off the bench. And I want you 278 00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,679 Speaker 1: to put your name in the middle of this list 279 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:53,160 Speaker 1: as well. And so what I'm doing and I don't 280 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,080 Speaker 1: share this with kids or anything, but I want to 281 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:58,640 Speaker 1: know where do they see themselves, where do they see 282 00:12:58,679 --> 00:13:00,600 Speaker 1: their teammates? And I want to come care that's where 283 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:03,440 Speaker 1: I see them right now. And so if everyone everyone 284 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:06,040 Speaker 1: does that, I take all that information and I put 285 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:08,880 Speaker 1: it on a spreadsheet just to get an idea, and 286 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:11,280 Speaker 1: I can say, you know that the team sees Johnny 287 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:13,760 Speaker 1: kind of in that first tier guy off the match, 288 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:17,440 Speaker 1: That's where I see him, But Johnny sees himself in 289 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:19,640 Speaker 1: our top five. Well, I know that I have to 290 00:13:19,679 --> 00:13:23,240 Speaker 1: have a conversation with Johnny about maybe his role. And 291 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:26,080 Speaker 1: more times than that, kids are spot on with where 292 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:28,520 Speaker 1: they think they are, where the team thinks they are, 293 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:29,480 Speaker 1: and where I do. 294 00:13:29,679 --> 00:13:30,600 Speaker 2: And so if I ever had a. 295 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:34,640 Speaker 1: Parent issue, you know, that's something that I can fall 296 00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:35,680 Speaker 1: back on if I need to. 297 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:37,439 Speaker 2: Have never had to use it, but. 298 00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:40,160 Speaker 1: I do that just to really start the discussion on roles, 299 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:42,640 Speaker 1: and so I think there's a lot of things that 300 00:13:42,679 --> 00:13:43,480 Speaker 1: coaches need to do. 301 00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:46,000 Speaker 2: Those are just a couple. I'm sure I could share 302 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:46,640 Speaker 2: more as well. 303 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:49,240 Speaker 3: When we return, Greg and I take a deep dive 304 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:59,280 Speaker 3: into leadership welcome back. Where we left off, Greg and 305 00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:01,520 Speaker 3: I were about to do discussed the importance of collective 306 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:06,040 Speaker 3: leadership and a positive team culture. I feel like that 307 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:08,960 Speaker 3: piece that you are talking about there, when it comes 308 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:11,560 Speaker 3: to leadership in particular, I know that's something that you're very, 309 00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:14,840 Speaker 3: very big on. How do you establish and I guess 310 00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:18,200 Speaker 3: empower leaders? I know from my own experience, like it's 311 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:21,880 Speaker 3: often known amongst the kids like who are quote unquote 312 00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:24,480 Speaker 3: the alphas or whatever the case is. But do you 313 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:27,400 Speaker 3: kind of let it work itself out? How do you know, 314 00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:31,720 Speaker 3: promote an environment which allows kids to become leaders and 315 00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:34,800 Speaker 3: foster that and empower those that might not be the 316 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:38,960 Speaker 3: quote unquote alpha but can help be a productive role. 317 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:41,120 Speaker 3: And I mean I think leadership. You know, some people 318 00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:43,240 Speaker 3: will say can't be taught, You're born a leader. I 319 00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:46,320 Speaker 3: think that there's different ways to be a leader. Some 320 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:49,120 Speaker 3: are very vocal, some are not. How do you foster 321 00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:52,359 Speaker 3: leadership from a coaching standpoint but also from a classroom 322 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:54,000 Speaker 3: an even administrative standpoint. 323 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, this is something I'm real passionate about. I wrote 324 00:14:57,320 --> 00:15:01,960 Speaker 1: a big course and course called the Team Leader OS 325 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,880 Speaker 1: to help coaches develop team leaders on their team. For 326 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:09,560 Speaker 1: this reason because ultimately, the reason that teams and programs 327 00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:11,960 Speaker 1: are successful, Number one is it always starts with a 328 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,560 Speaker 1: positive culture, a good culture. That's the number one job 329 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:17,800 Speaker 1: of a coach is to build a culture, and culture 330 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:20,120 Speaker 1: I define it three ways. Culture is what you allow, 331 00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:24,120 Speaker 1: it's what you emphasize, and it's every day. And number two, 332 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:28,040 Speaker 1: you need player leadership because player let teams win, and 333 00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:31,640 Speaker 1: coaches can't wait and wish for team leaders. Coaches need 334 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:35,760 Speaker 1: to systemically, purposely develop and build leaders on their team. 335 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:38,520 Speaker 1: And then once you get those things, then you can 336 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:40,560 Speaker 1: look at the x's and o's and all of that. 337 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:44,560 Speaker 1: But the reality is the two things that hurt coaches 338 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:46,800 Speaker 1: more than anything and get them in trouble more than 339 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:49,800 Speaker 1: anything is lack of culture and lack of leadership. So 340 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:53,040 Speaker 1: we need to be more purposeful in how we develop that. 341 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:54,440 Speaker 2: And so with. 342 00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:57,840 Speaker 1: Leadership, I'm a big believer, like you said, in collective leadership, 343 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:01,120 Speaker 1: there are multiple ways to lead, and there are multiple 344 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:03,560 Speaker 1: types of leaders on a team. You mentioned the alpha. 345 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:06,520 Speaker 1: Sometimes that's what I call the gamer. You know, that's 346 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:09,000 Speaker 1: the one that you know in a game when the 347 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:11,440 Speaker 1: games on the line and someone needs the ball in 348 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:13,960 Speaker 1: their hands, you know, the kids know who that is 349 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,840 Speaker 1: and that person is going to be your decision maker. 350 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:17,640 Speaker 2: That doesn't mean. 351 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:21,640 Speaker 1: That that person is the best practice leader, the best 352 00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:26,240 Speaker 1: locker room leader. I think sometimes as coaches, we we 353 00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:28,880 Speaker 1: just wait and wish for our best player to be 354 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:33,120 Speaker 1: our best leader. It might happen once in a lifetime 355 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,080 Speaker 1: as a coach. To be honest, I think there's a 356 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:39,040 Speaker 1: statistic out there that like, at twenty percent of the time, 357 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:41,960 Speaker 1: your best player is your best leader, and I think 358 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:46,520 Speaker 1: that's very accurate. So you really need to encourage the 359 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:50,280 Speaker 1: other types of leaders. You know, I have what I 360 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:52,640 Speaker 1: call energy leaders. I mean these are the people that 361 00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:56,160 Speaker 1: maybe aren't getting a ton of playing time at your 362 00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:59,280 Speaker 1: bench leaders and they're bringing this positive energy to games 363 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:03,400 Speaker 1: and practices. That's a critical role on winning teams, and 364 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:05,280 Speaker 1: as a coach, you got to celebrate those. 365 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:07,360 Speaker 2: You know, you get what you emphasize. 366 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:09,800 Speaker 1: So you know, one thing we're doing this year on 367 00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:14,160 Speaker 1: our team is we are recognizing and celebrating egbs, which 368 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:17,160 Speaker 1: are energy giving behaviors. Well, a lot of the kids 369 00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:20,959 Speaker 1: that are best with egbs on our team may not 370 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:24,640 Speaker 1: always be our best players talent wise, but they bring 371 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:27,080 Speaker 1: energy that is contagious to the rest of the team, 372 00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:30,040 Speaker 1: and I want to recognize and support that because I'm 373 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,520 Speaker 1: developing a leadership skill in them when I do that. 374 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,240 Speaker 1: And so I think talking about that with your kids 375 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:38,840 Speaker 1: as a coach, letting them know that, you know, leadership 376 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:41,840 Speaker 1: is just influence, that's all it is. So you think 377 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,800 Speaker 1: you as a teammate, how do you influence your teammates 378 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:48,120 Speaker 1: a lot of different ways. You're you're all leaders when 379 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:51,399 Speaker 1: you influence others, and so how can we influence others? 380 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:54,480 Speaker 1: And I think having these conversations with kids and kind 381 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:58,080 Speaker 1: of opening the door to not just focus on that 382 00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:02,520 Speaker 1: stereotypical captain alpha type of person is really important for coaches. 383 00:18:03,119 --> 00:18:05,760 Speaker 3: What you allow. I think I've heard that, you know, 384 00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:08,240 Speaker 3: one of my all time coaches that I ever had, 385 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:11,720 Speaker 3: Mike Fox. I talk about him quite a lot. It 386 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:14,160 Speaker 3: was the head baseball coach University of North Carolina for 387 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:17,280 Speaker 3: twenty three years and we talked, you know, almost daily, uh, 388 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:20,960 Speaker 3: just about ideas and such. And that often comes up 389 00:18:21,119 --> 00:18:24,480 Speaker 3: your culture as a coach, and you know, it's what 390 00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:27,840 Speaker 3: you allow, right, what you allow kids to happen in 391 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:30,800 Speaker 3: your program. And I've seen situations where and I've heard 392 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:33,000 Speaker 3: about it, and I've seen a firsthand with teams and 393 00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:35,600 Speaker 3: my kids have been on where you know, the rules 394 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:38,120 Speaker 3: don't apply to everybody, you know, And that's a big 395 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:41,159 Speaker 3: problem I know with my old coach when I was 396 00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:43,920 Speaker 3: in college with Coach Fox and even you know, Coach 397 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:46,159 Speaker 3: Long and these my assistants, like they didn't care if 398 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:48,680 Speaker 3: you were an All American, Like there were boundaries and 399 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:50,560 Speaker 3: no matter who crossed them, there was going to be 400 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:53,720 Speaker 3: a repercussion or you know whatever as a result of 401 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:56,600 Speaker 3: stepping out of that. But if I'm a parent and 402 00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:59,000 Speaker 3: my kids tell me, well, you know, so and so 403 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:01,480 Speaker 3: doesn't go to practic, but yet it's still starting every 404 00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:03,879 Speaker 3: game or this, that and the other, whatever it is, 405 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:06,399 Speaker 3: how do you navigate it if quite frankly, you have 406 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:09,879 Speaker 3: a coach who's allowing, you know, kind of anarchy for 407 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,280 Speaker 3: lack of a better word. It's like, you know, so 408 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:15,720 Speaker 3: for coaches, how do you stay consistent with that? And secondly, 409 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:17,640 Speaker 3: as a parent, how do you navigate if the coach 410 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:20,040 Speaker 3: is inconsistent with that and your kid is obviously feeling 411 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:22,200 Speaker 3: the ramifications and doesn't really know how to navigate the 412 00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:24,719 Speaker 3: kind of disarray of the culture. 413 00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:28,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, first of all, I would hope that's 414 00:19:28,119 --> 00:19:30,640 Speaker 1: not happening. And I guess in my experience, I don't 415 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,919 Speaker 1: see it a lot, But I'm not saying it's not. 416 00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:36,520 Speaker 1: Maybe commonplace in other places too, but you know, I 417 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:39,919 Speaker 1: would hope that a coach, you know, wouldn't be in 418 00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:42,320 Speaker 1: that situation where kids that aren't showing up to practice 419 00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:45,880 Speaker 1: are starting. I mean, that's a there's always bad apples 420 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:48,600 Speaker 1: and every profession, and there's bad coaches out there too. 421 00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:52,440 Speaker 1: But I think, you know, like you said, it's when 422 00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:55,640 Speaker 1: as a coach, you got to think everything comes down 423 00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:56,680 Speaker 1: at what you allow. 424 00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:57,760 Speaker 2: And what you emphasize. 425 00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:00,560 Speaker 1: Those are the standards that you're creating in your program. 426 00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:02,720 Speaker 1: And I think of this as a school administrator too. 427 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:03,240 Speaker 3: You know. 428 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:05,720 Speaker 1: The best example I give is if I'm walking down 429 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:09,040 Speaker 1: the hall at school and I see a kid talking 430 00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:11,440 Speaker 1: to his buddies and they swear and they're just talking 431 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:14,960 Speaker 1: to their buddies. But I walk by and I hear it, 432 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:17,399 Speaker 1: and I don't address it. Doesn't mean I'm going to 433 00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:19,320 Speaker 1: punish them or anything like that, but I'm going to 434 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,520 Speaker 1: let them know that, hey, we don't talk that way. 435 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:23,880 Speaker 1: We don't need to say that whatever if I don't 436 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:25,960 Speaker 1: address it, I'm allowing it. 437 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:28,000 Speaker 2: And they know that they know them. When I walk 438 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:29,239 Speaker 2: by that, I hurt it. 439 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:32,000 Speaker 1: And and those are the things that are really important. 440 00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:35,840 Speaker 1: These This is why culture is every day because you know, 441 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:40,080 Speaker 1: if I don't address these little things every day, they're 442 00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:42,800 Speaker 1: going to turn into big things. It's kind of like parenting, 443 00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:45,760 Speaker 1: you know, when our kids are young, that's when all 444 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:48,040 Speaker 1: the work is done as a parent. In my mind, 445 00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:52,679 Speaker 1: like you're setting you know, expectations and you know you're 446 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:54,200 Speaker 1: loving your child and all that, but. 447 00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,160 Speaker 2: You do that at a young age so that when 448 00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:56,639 Speaker 2: they get. 449 00:20:56,520 --> 00:21:00,080 Speaker 1: To that high school age and bigger things happen and 450 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:03,760 Speaker 1: all those kind of standards expectations have been set. 451 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:05,000 Speaker 2: It makes it a whole lot easier. 452 00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:08,760 Speaker 1: And so you know, as a coach, you really have 453 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,680 Speaker 1: to be conscious of what am I allowing each and 454 00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:13,120 Speaker 1: every day and then pick three things that are really 455 00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:16,440 Speaker 1: really important to you and emphasize those over and over again, 456 00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:19,240 Speaker 1: because we are what we emphasize. That's one thing I 457 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,600 Speaker 1: learned as a young coach at a clinic. You can't 458 00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:25,080 Speaker 1: emphasize everything. And I think when I was young, I 459 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:28,720 Speaker 1: did emphasize too much. And now you know, I really 460 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:30,920 Speaker 1: emphasize three things in our program, and one is no 461 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:34,520 Speaker 1: a positive return. I want a mindset that everything is earned. 462 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:37,200 Speaker 1: I think that's a great life lesson for kids. Number Two, 463 00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:40,280 Speaker 1: we talk about energy and being a positive energy giver 464 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,560 Speaker 1: all the time. I think energy is contagious and that's 465 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:45,920 Speaker 1: an important part of our program. And then number three 466 00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:48,520 Speaker 1: is the concept of we over me and your team. 467 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,159 Speaker 1: And I just feel that, you know, if we have 468 00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:55,200 Speaker 1: a team that has a everything is earned mindset, is 469 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:58,200 Speaker 1: team first, and they're positive energy givers, we're going to 470 00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:01,600 Speaker 1: be okay. And so that's what I emphasize over and 471 00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:02,359 Speaker 1: over again. 472 00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:02,880 Speaker 2: And so. 473 00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:07,000 Speaker 1: The culture is built every single day, and I think 474 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:10,560 Speaker 1: sometimes coaches feel like we finally got that good culture, 475 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:13,560 Speaker 1: and then they stop addressing it, and then they start 476 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:16,320 Speaker 1: allowing things that they wouldn't have allowed before, and then 477 00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:17,960 Speaker 1: all of a sudden, they get a problem and they 478 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:19,080 Speaker 1: gotta they got to. 479 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:21,240 Speaker 2: Like recalibrate their culture. 480 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:23,880 Speaker 1: But that's why I try to simplify things as best 481 00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:26,600 Speaker 1: I can. And that's that's how I have simplified culture. 482 00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:30,240 Speaker 3: I think that as you're talking about every day, that's 483 00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:32,919 Speaker 3: so critical consistency, right, and I can speak from it 484 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:36,199 Speaker 3: from a parenting standpoint, I mean, it's challenging and I 485 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:38,720 Speaker 3: have six kids and quite frankly, they wear me out. 486 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,440 Speaker 3: But it's also picking your bat's. I mean, it's also 487 00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,640 Speaker 3: picking your battles. And I love how you pointed out 488 00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:47,840 Speaker 3: that you know, you probably addressed every single thing like 489 00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:49,640 Speaker 3: you mentioned when you were younger, but then you kind 490 00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:52,720 Speaker 3: of figure out, you know, where I guess the most 491 00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:55,840 Speaker 3: emphasis needs to be put, you know, as we come 492 00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:59,440 Speaker 3: to wrap up here, and I appreciate your time, and 493 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:03,320 Speaker 3: you know the insight where do you think parents should 494 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:06,600 Speaker 3: when your kids are entering this journey? And I think, 495 00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:08,920 Speaker 3: you know, it's I feel like it's often a lot 496 00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:11,840 Speaker 3: easier as a sports parent, you know, in those early 497 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:15,320 Speaker 3: early ages. But then once the competitiveness starts to ramp 498 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,200 Speaker 3: up a little bit as your head towards middle school 499 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:20,199 Speaker 3: and people start, you know, looking at travel teams or 500 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:23,000 Speaker 3: whatever the case is, and you know, how do you 501 00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:26,359 Speaker 3: step back and realize, like, hey, how do I navigate this? 502 00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,920 Speaker 3: I guess what would be some advice as you're closing 503 00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:32,320 Speaker 3: for parents to know, how do we kind of allow 504 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:35,080 Speaker 3: our kids for this experience to be theirs while still 505 00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:39,120 Speaker 3: helping to guide them, knowing that obviously, you know, they're 506 00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:42,920 Speaker 3: paying money, in many cases a lot of money. They're 507 00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:45,720 Speaker 3: allocating a lot of time. They want to be able 508 00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:47,600 Speaker 3: to have their kids have the best experience on and 509 00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:50,879 Speaker 3: off the playing surfaces, courts, mats, grass, whatever it is. 510 00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:54,520 Speaker 3: But at the same time be able to extract those lessons. 511 00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:58,439 Speaker 3: How do they keep a full perspective without being I 512 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:02,959 Speaker 3: guess bent and held on performance and get caught up 513 00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,400 Speaker 3: in the rat race of keeping up with the Joneses. 514 00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:08,480 Speaker 2: Well, I think you hit the nail on the head. 515 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:12,199 Speaker 1: There is comparison is the thief of joy, and you know, 516 00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:15,119 Speaker 1: I think with your own child, I'm reminded when you 517 00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:15,480 Speaker 1: said that of. 518 00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:16,720 Speaker 2: A great past summit story. 519 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:20,160 Speaker 1: Pass some with a longtime women's basketball coach at University 520 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:22,480 Speaker 1: of Tennessee, one of the best coaches to ever coach. 521 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:25,520 Speaker 2: And I might give the story a little bit off. 522 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:29,639 Speaker 1: But her son was trying out for a varsity basketball 523 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:31,840 Speaker 1: team and I don't know if he's in tenth creator 524 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:33,480 Speaker 1: maybe it was a lower level team. 525 00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:34,080 Speaker 2: I can't remember. 526 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:37,480 Speaker 1: He didn't make the team, and she tells the story 527 00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:39,440 Speaker 1: of her her son comes home and in the back 528 00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:42,280 Speaker 1: of her mind the first thing she's thinking is, are 529 00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:42,920 Speaker 1: you kidding me? 530 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:46,560 Speaker 2: You cut Pat Summit's kid from your team. You know, 531 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:47,560 Speaker 2: she knew that she had a. 532 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:50,560 Speaker 1: Lot of influence as a basketball coach or whatnot, but 533 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:52,960 Speaker 1: she never said that to her kid. And to her kid, 534 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,600 Speaker 1: her first response is did you do everything you could 535 00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:57,600 Speaker 1: possibly do to make that team? 536 00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:00,840 Speaker 2: And she turned it on him, and she turned it on. 537 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,879 Speaker 1: The work ethic and the commitment and the time and 538 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,560 Speaker 1: did you do everything possible to be the best that 539 00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:09,679 Speaker 1: you could be? And he didn't and she knew that 540 00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:12,800 Speaker 1: he didn't. And you know there was a consequence for that. 541 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:16,680 Speaker 1: And so I think as parents you have to think 542 00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:18,600 Speaker 1: of the end goal. 543 00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:21,480 Speaker 2: The end goal is not for them to be this. 544 00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:24,240 Speaker 1: I mean, if they're you know, some parents can hung up, 545 00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:25,560 Speaker 1: how I'm a kid to get a scholarship? 546 00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:26,920 Speaker 2: Do you know how good they have to be to 547 00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:27,800 Speaker 2: get a scholarship. 548 00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:30,439 Speaker 1: If they're even close to not making a team there 549 00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:32,840 Speaker 1: and they're not getting a scholarship, they're not that level 550 00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:35,520 Speaker 1: of an athlete. If they're that good, they're going to 551 00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:35,960 Speaker 1: make it. 552 00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:37,240 Speaker 2: So your end. 553 00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:42,240 Speaker 1: Goal is to provide the life lessons of sport. They're 554 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:45,199 Speaker 1: going to last for them throughout their entire life and 555 00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:47,600 Speaker 1: all the skills that are learned. You really have to 556 00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:50,840 Speaker 1: think of it that way. And you know, comparison is 557 00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:53,080 Speaker 1: a thief of joy. Don't compare your kids to others. 558 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:56,840 Speaker 1: Building them this no deposit, no return mindset. I know 559 00:25:56,880 --> 00:26:00,600 Speaker 1: it's tough, but the rewards you get when you can 560 00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,960 Speaker 1: flip the switch and think of the process being the 561 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:07,080 Speaker 1: prize and not you know, the living in the moment 562 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:11,520 Speaker 1: are so incredible for parents, and I think, you know, 563 00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:14,480 Speaker 1: you just you have to be mindful of tunnel vision 564 00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:17,800 Speaker 1: as a parent because it's very normal as parents to 565 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:21,679 Speaker 1: just think of everything through your kids lens. And a 566 00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:24,439 Speaker 1: coach's job, good or bad, is to look at it 567 00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:27,760 Speaker 1: for the totality of the team. Coaches want to win, 568 00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:31,840 Speaker 1: especially at the varsity levels, so they're doing everything that 569 00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:34,160 Speaker 1: they think can help their team win. 570 00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:39,040 Speaker 2: And so, you know, I think those things are really important. 571 00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:41,480 Speaker 1: I wrote a post this week on why do parents 572 00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:44,720 Speaker 1: sit alone? I didn't think it was going to be 573 00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:46,640 Speaker 1: like a huge post. It got like one point two 574 00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:50,280 Speaker 1: million views and it resonated with a lot of people. 575 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:54,040 Speaker 1: Parents sit alone because they don't want to hear the 576 00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:57,960 Speaker 1: negativity and the drama and the stuff that goes on 577 00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:02,600 Speaker 1: in the stands that compare and finger pointing to blaming. 578 00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:05,400 Speaker 1: They want to just enjoy the experience with their kid, 579 00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:09,760 Speaker 1: and I think we need to step back as parents 580 00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:13,000 Speaker 1: and kind of think of that what the end goal 581 00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:16,719 Speaker 1: is and what our ultimate responsibility is as parents. And 582 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:20,159 Speaker 1: I know that's easier said than done for some, but 583 00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:22,480 Speaker 1: it's ultimately what I think we need to do. 584 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:24,840 Speaker 3: It's great. I'm not surprised that that post got a 585 00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:27,080 Speaker 3: lot of reach and touched a lot of people because 586 00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:29,680 Speaker 3: we wrote a blog. I wrote a blog last year, 587 00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:34,080 Speaker 3: Life of a Lone Wolf sports Parent, talking exactly about that, 588 00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:38,040 Speaker 3: and it got the same type of response. I mean, Greg, 589 00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:41,280 Speaker 3: where can people find I know I found you on Twitter? 590 00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:44,439 Speaker 3: Tell us your handles, your platforms, your website. Where can 591 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:47,040 Speaker 3: people find what you're doing and all of your great 592 00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:48,320 Speaker 3: work that's being put out there? 593 00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:52,199 Speaker 2: Yeah? Thanks Nick. I really just right on Twitter actively 594 00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:53,480 Speaker 2: on Twitter or x now. 595 00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:58,040 Speaker 1: I guess my handle is at GB eleven twenty one 596 00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:01,600 Speaker 1: and so I've posted a few times a day. 597 00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:03,160 Speaker 2: A lot of really good contents. 598 00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:06,320 Speaker 1: I have a newsletter that a free newsletter that I 599 00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:09,440 Speaker 1: published each week called Great Teams, Better Leaders, one, two three. 600 00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:12,439 Speaker 1: You can subscribe to that on my Twitter handle, and 601 00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:14,879 Speaker 1: I have a website that you can find a lot 602 00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:18,439 Speaker 1: of other books I've written, my team leader os you 603 00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:20,520 Speaker 1: know another free a lot of free resources I give 604 00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:20,960 Speaker 1: away too. 605 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,240 Speaker 2: That's GB one leadership dot com. 606 00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:28,200 Speaker 1: So yeah, I appreciate the opportunity Nick, and I love 607 00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:31,159 Speaker 1: what you're doing. I love your stuff, and I'm honored 608 00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:33,000 Speaker 1: to be a guest on this today, so I want 609 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:34,080 Speaker 1: to thank you for that as well. 610 00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:36,760 Speaker 3: No doubt, man, it works both ways. I appreciate you 611 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:39,400 Speaker 3: coming on, sharing your insight, sharing your experience, definitely going 612 00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:41,120 Speaker 3: to help a lot of people and keep doing what 613 00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:43,840 Speaker 3: you're doing. I'll keep following you and everyone go check 614 00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:47,160 Speaker 3: out greg stuff. It's it's high quality. It's definitely it 615 00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:50,120 Speaker 3: helps me and in my journey as a sports parent, 616 00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:53,040 Speaker 3: and I just love connecting with great people out there 617 00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:54,840 Speaker 3: doing great work. So I appreciate you coming on. 618 00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:55,160 Speaker 2: Greg. 619 00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:59,440 Speaker 3: That's Greg Berg High School principal, basketball coach and teacher. 620 00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:02,520 Speaker 3: Thanks thanks for listening to the Reform Sports podcast. If 621 00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:04,920 Speaker 3: you've enjoyed this episode, we would appreciate it if you 622 00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:07,200 Speaker 3: took a moment to rate and review our podcast. As 623 00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:10,120 Speaker 3: we work to grow our community of supporters and advocates 624 00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:13,560 Speaker 3: for more reform sports content, please subscribe to our newsletter 625 00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:16,480 Speaker 3: and blog at Reformsports project dot com. You can also 626 00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:19,760 Speaker 3: follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn.