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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio Podcast.

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Speaker 1: I have a question for you, bib where do you

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Speaker 1: think you are lacking in joy?

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Speaker 2: I think I'm lacking in joy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a very good question.

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Speaker 2: Thank you. Joy.

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Speaker 3: Joy's a funny what. He's not what that I use

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Speaker 3: often enough or even think about. Maybe that's a problem.

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Speaker 1: I think that's a problem. But I hear you because

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Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't chase Joy until after my divorce.

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Speaker 1: So I had this hole. And this is something like

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Speaker 1: we might not know about me, but because I know

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Speaker 1: you didn't read my book, but there is a whole

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Speaker 1: time period for me that my therapist was like, I

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Speaker 1: need you to chase Joy. She's like, you, there's so

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Speaker 1: much joy around, but you just aren't seeing it. And

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Speaker 1: she's like, I want you to go chase it. I

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Speaker 1: want you to go find it. And so I mean,

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Speaker 1: I went to Ireland and you know, did certain things,

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Speaker 1: and my whole mission was chasing Joy. And I've always

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Speaker 1: kind of remembered that, but I didn't definitely didn't see

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Speaker 1: that before. And so now I guess for you, you not

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Speaker 1: really knowing or recognizing than Joy.

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Speaker 3: No, I recognized Joy like last night and bed was

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Speaker 3: was was hilarious.

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Speaker 2: The way that you were behaving. That's that's joy for me.

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Speaker 1: We gotta give them a little bit more contact than

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Speaker 1: that last night when we were in bed, the way

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Speaker 1: you were behaving.

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Speaker 2: You were funny because you were so hungry.

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Speaker 1: I was so hungry, guy, I.

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Speaker 2: Was pretending to eat and bite darving, bite me.

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Speaker 1: I came home to I have a thing where I

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Speaker 1: love to have a vanilla cinnamon yogurt at night. It

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Speaker 1: is my It's almost like my ice cream. It's a dessert,

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Speaker 1: but it's you know, semi good for you. It's a

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Speaker 1: Ciggy's vanilla cinnamon if you see it at Kroger, Public's,

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Speaker 1: Whole Foods, whatever, grab one. So good. And we were

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Speaker 1: out of that. We had no snacks, so I grabbed

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Speaker 1: a bag of sta uh Dill pickle chips. They were

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Speaker 1: as old as ever, and they were so but I was,

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Speaker 1: I mean so like there was just niney eight. I

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Speaker 1: was starving, and so I was being silly in bed,

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Speaker 1: and I was like biting you.

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Speaker 2: And you're trying to cover my face and Dylan pickle tongue.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I was just being silly.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, so that's listen, those things that bring.

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Speaker 1: Me joy, like like me biting you.

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Speaker 3: Like playing with the kids and date nights and like

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Speaker 3: when Troy's here and being on the field with them,

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Speaker 3: And there's there's plenty of things that bring me joy.

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Speaker 3: What I tend to be really guilty of is I

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Speaker 3: tell myself that I don't deserve certain things because I'm

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Speaker 3: trying to achieve certain things at the moment, because I'm

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Speaker 3: in building mode and building phase. I'm like, you don't

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Speaker 3: deserve to go and you don't have the time to

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Speaker 3: go and spend time with your mates. You don't have

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Speaker 3: the time to go and play golf. You don't have

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Speaker 3: the time too to go and relax, like go on

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Speaker 3: the bike for ten minutes. Like even then, I'm like,

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Speaker 3: I can't be doing this. I'm so busy with it

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Speaker 3: so much so I am very guilty of.

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Speaker 1: Robbing yourself of joy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, because it's again, it's like the plants outside

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Speaker 3: that it's not a priority for me to achieve what

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Speaker 3: I need to achieve the auphor it gets put on

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Speaker 3: the back on the.

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Speaker 1: Well, that's not joy. But I mean, you know that

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Speaker 1: robbing yourself of joy is not a good thing.

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Speaker 3: I'm not completely robbed of joy.

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Speaker 1: I know, but you should go out and like you

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Speaker 1: deserve to go to a golf course and play golf

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Speaker 1: because that brings you joy. Like you should be doing

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Speaker 1: things that bring yourself joy. We are always busy now

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Speaker 1: I'm not. It's not like an everyday thing, right, but

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Speaker 1: if there is an every day thing that brings you joy,

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Speaker 1: then you know, like you like to medicate, meditate, medicaid medica.

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Speaker 1: You like to meditate that brings you joy, right, that

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Speaker 1: gives you sorry, that brings you peace.

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Speaker 3: But working out brings me joy. Yeah, but not working

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Speaker 3: out in the garage myself going to Devon knowing that

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Speaker 3: he's going to push me as hard as he can

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Speaker 3: push me for an hour, but then professional boundaries that

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Speaker 3: brings me joy.

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Speaker 1: I feel like if people don't chase that joy or

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Speaker 1: that don't do things, you're gonna just you're going to

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Speaker 1: be so bogged down and so that stress is just

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Speaker 1: gonna cover you and then you I think when you're covered,

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Speaker 1: it's like literally if you picture like like covered, not

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Speaker 1: being able to see, you're gonna miss the beautiful things

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Speaker 1: that are actually happening around you that are full of joy.

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Speaker 1: Like hanging out with the kids or jumping the trampoline.

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Speaker 1: It's like, that's why I took the kids out of school.

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Speaker 1: I was so stressed. I have an entire script I

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Speaker 1: needed to learn, and it it's like, no, I'm getting

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Speaker 1: the kids out of school early. I want to jump

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Speaker 1: on the trampoline with them. I want to play with

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Speaker 1: them on it because they bring me so much joy.

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Speaker 1: And it's like I want to be around that, and like,

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Speaker 1: you know, we will work together and we have fun,

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Speaker 1: but I feel like we're so grinding so many things

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Speaker 1: out and covering ourselves with so much stress and things

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Speaker 1: that we have to do and obviously and work, but

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Speaker 1: we're almost robbing ourselves of that joy because like you say,

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Speaker 1: you don't feel like we deserve it. I say, we

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Speaker 1: don't have that much time. But I feel like we

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Speaker 1: really need to prioritize.

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Speaker 2: I don't feel like we deserve it. It's just.

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Speaker 1: Or that you deserve it in men.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's I won't fully enjoy it anyway

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Speaker 3: because I know how much I've got to the so

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Speaker 3: what's the point in doing it? Just get the stuff

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Speaker 3: done that I need to do to build and get

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Speaker 3: to a point but it's stupid because you hear every

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Speaker 3: hyper successful person say, well, even when you get there,

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Speaker 3: you're not going to be happy. So be more present

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Speaker 3: than the moment that surrounds you at the moment. And

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Speaker 3: there's a lot of trip in that.

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Speaker 1: Pick a day on the calendar, everyone, pick a day

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Speaker 1: on the calendar and just put find some joy or like,

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Speaker 1: do something that brings you joy.

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Speaker 2: There's lots of things that bring me joy.

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Speaker 1: No, I know, but we need to prioritize that a

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Speaker 1: little bit more like we prioritize other things on our schedule.

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Speaker 1: And speaking of joy, we've got Tiffany Moon on. She's

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Speaker 1: got a new book out called Joy Prescriptions How I

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Speaker 1: learned to stop chasing perfection and embrace connection. Let's get

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Speaker 1: her on all right, Tiffany. I am Jana. This is

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Speaker 1: my husband Alan. Nice to meet you so much for

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Speaker 1: coming on. So are you currently in Dallas? Yes? Do

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Speaker 1: you love it?

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Speaker 4: No?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 4: I mean it's fine, it's fine, it's love. I meant

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Speaker 4: to say yes.

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Speaker 1: Where are you from? Originally?

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Speaker 4: I was born in China, lived in New York most

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Speaker 4: of my life, and did medical school in Texas and

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Speaker 4: then did residency in San Francisco.

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Speaker 1: Okay, and then so why did you end up in Dallas?

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Speaker 4: My husband.

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Speaker 1: It's awesome, I know, Sorry I dragged him from from Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, well Scotland. Well yeah, technically, yeah, you're in London.

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Speaker 1: I have a question because, uh do you? Because obviously

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Speaker 1: your book is called Joy Prescriptions How I learned to

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Speaker 1: stop chasing perfection and brace connection. And I've talked to

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Speaker 1: a few other people from the Asian culture and they've

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Speaker 1: always said that because of their culture, it inmbedded in them,

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Speaker 1: this perfection, perfectionism that came from their mom and dad.

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Speaker 1: And I'm curious, is that kind of the same for you?

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Speaker 4: Yes, much of it is culturally driven, and I think

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Speaker 4: societally driven as well. You know that as a woman

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Speaker 4: you have to be you know, beautiful, thin, smart, sassy,

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Speaker 4: you know, like do all the things.

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Speaker 1: Sure, why is that in the in the Asian culture?

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Speaker 4: In the Asian culture, you know, you respect your elders,

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Speaker 4: you never talk back. It's not a culture that embraces

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Speaker 4: individuality or creativity. It's a culture that embraces conformity, falling

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Speaker 4: in line, staying silent, doing what you're told, not peep

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Speaker 4: piping up, you know, it's sort of that old school mentality,

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Speaker 4: and I think it turns out a lot of damaged

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Speaker 4: youth who end up feeling like they're never good enough.

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Speaker 1: Mm. Yeah, I mean that is that's a whole society too. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's so for you. What was the thing that you

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Speaker 1: were chasing that kind of kept you in that, you know,

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Speaker 1: the cycle.

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Speaker 4: I just thought that if I achieved more than I

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Speaker 4: would finally be worthy of being loved. I was raised

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Speaker 4: in a household where if I brought home a ninety

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Speaker 4: six on a test, the question was what did you

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Speaker 4: get wrong? Not great job you got in ninety six.

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Speaker 4: The glass was always half empty. If it wasn't full,

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Speaker 4: it was empty. We grew up poor. We moved all

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Speaker 4: the time. My mom clicked coupons. We ate half rotten

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Speaker 4: produce because that's what was on sale. I had all

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Speaker 4: my clothes from goodwill or garage swords. I don't think

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Speaker 4: I owned like a new item from a wal Mart

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Speaker 4: or a Target until I was like it well into

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Speaker 4: my teens. And so I think when you live in

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Speaker 4: a constant mindset of scarcity, you're always like holding onto things,

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Speaker 4: not sharing, because are always afraid that like the other

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Speaker 4: shoe is gonna draw, you know, So you're not into

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Speaker 4: like sharing and being kind and whatever. It's always like

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Speaker 4: how much can I save for myself because winter is coming? Sure,

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Speaker 4: And it's just not a very collaborative mindset. And that's

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Speaker 4: how I was raised.

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Speaker 2: Like a survival mindset, isn't it. Yeah, Yeah, yeah, the same.

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Speaker 3: That's exactly how I grew up as well. Did you

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Speaker 3: grow Yeah, well, we don't have a lot of money.

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Speaker 3: When I grew up, I didn't know that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I remember wanting a tennis racket. Of the summer tennis

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Speaker 3: season started and I wanted a tennis racket and mom

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Speaker 3: and dad couldn't afford it.

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Speaker 2: I don't steal.

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Speaker 1: It, Oh Jesus, I mean yeah, I mean yeah, I

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Speaker 1: mean we didn't either. But I had no idea that you.

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Speaker 1: I thought your parents, you guys were not.

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Speaker 2: At the very beginning, though we had to.

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Speaker 3: My mom and dad walked hard, but we never we

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Speaker 3: never had There's a lot of things that we could

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Speaker 3: have onto this two brothers growing up, which we wish

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Speaker 3: we didn't get, but not a bad thing because it

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Speaker 3: taught us too.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think that's the same. Like I was

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Speaker 1: raised from a single mom by You know, my mom

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Speaker 1: worked three jobs and we had you know, if we

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Speaker 1: were lucky to have frozen tiketos for a year straight,

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Speaker 1: you know, like that was kind of our meal. But

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Speaker 1: I think there's something in that upbringing that instilled like

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Speaker 1: this scrapper, like I'm going to fight for everything and

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna you know, I have to achieve this. But

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Speaker 1: I hear you when you say that, you you know,

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Speaker 1: your your worth was dependent on on that, and so

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Speaker 1: I get that. What for you are some of the

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Speaker 1: tips in your book that you talk about to kind

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Speaker 1: of break that cycle.

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Speaker 4: One of them is to stop comparing yourself to other people,

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Speaker 4: because there's always going to be somebody else that's doing

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Speaker 4: better than you. You know, you start a new job,

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Speaker 4: someone else is making more. You start a new company,

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Speaker 4: somebody else is further along. I call it the cycle

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Speaker 4: of compare and despair. You look at someone else's social

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Speaker 4: media feed. They have more followers, seems like they're out

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Speaker 4: there living their best life, and you're at home with

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Speaker 4: greasy hair, eating potato chips and doom scrolling. You know,

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Speaker 4: it's just it's a zero sum game to compare yourself

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Speaker 4: to someone else, because not all of us started on

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Speaker 4: the same starting line. Not all of us have the

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Speaker 4: same journey. Some of us take detours off of the

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Speaker 4: path that we had set for ourselves, and sometimes those

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Speaker 4: detours end up actually being our path. So yeah, I

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Speaker 4: just think we all need to stop comparing ourselves.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good point.

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Speaker 3: Do you think you so you were raised in the environment,

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Speaker 3: you were raised on you on to be a a caesiologist,

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Speaker 3: which is afect, which is a really good profession. Did

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Speaker 3: you do that because you wanted to do it, because

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Speaker 3: you knew it would get the respect of your family, because

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Speaker 3: it was a doctrine tape profession?

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Speaker 4: Both, I think yeah. I mean, growing up as a child,

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Speaker 4: I think my parents just like planted the seed that

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Speaker 4: I would grow up to be a doctor. I just

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Speaker 4: happened to be academically gifted, especially when it came to

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Speaker 4: math and science. I ended up going to college when

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Speaker 4: I was fifteen years old, which is very atypical. I

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Speaker 4: never really knew that there was another choice, or that

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Speaker 4: my parents would have allowed anything else. You know, if

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Speaker 4: I had told them I wanted to be a fashion

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Speaker 4: stylist or a chef like, I would have been beat.

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Speaker 4: So I'm glad that I'm a doctor. I love my job.

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Speaker 4: I love, you know, putting people to sleep for surgery

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Speaker 4: and caring for them throughout the perioperative period. But I

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Speaker 4: wanted to do other things outside of medicine. And that's

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Speaker 4: a lot of what I talk about in the book

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Speaker 4: is like my joy journey of exploring my creativity and

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Speaker 4: humor and connection to others outside of medicine and motherhood.

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Speaker 2: So how did you get into stand Out? Then?

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Speaker 4: The stand up crazy's wild? The stand up story is

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Speaker 4: my friend is an actual comedian and she had a

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Speaker 4: set at the Dallas Comedy Club and she asked me

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Speaker 4: to MC, which is just like introduce the comedians that

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Speaker 4: are coming up and get the crowd hyped, you know.

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Speaker 4: Then she calls me two weeks before the comedy show,

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Speaker 4: which was for charity, and she was like, hey, Tiff,

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Speaker 4: one of my people dropped out, like they can't come

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Speaker 4: that night. I need you to do like a ten

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Speaker 4: to fifteen minute set instead of like I'm seeing the show.

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Speaker 4: And I was like no, like I've never done stand

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Speaker 4: up comedy before, Like what are you talking about? And

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Speaker 4: she's like, no, I've seen your tiktoks, like they're funny,

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Speaker 4: like You'll be fine, gotta go bye. I was like,

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Speaker 4: holy shit, like I guess I'm gonna do this. But

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Speaker 4: this was in the phase of life, my joy journey,

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Speaker 4: I call it, where I was going to try new experiences.

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Speaker 4: I was very much like I'll do anything once, like

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Speaker 4: I want to try new things. And I was like,

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Speaker 4: you know what, I'm gonna pull up my big girl

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Speaker 4: panties and I'm gonna try to be funny on stage.

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Speaker 4: So I did what I always do when presented with

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Speaker 4: a challenge, which is like I googled. I was like

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Speaker 4: how to do stand up comedy, bought a book, I

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Speaker 4: watched some YouTube videos about like the Arc of Humor

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Speaker 4: and like how to be funny because there is actually

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Speaker 4: a science to it. And I studied and I did

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Speaker 4: a ten to fifteen minute set. No one bowed me

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Speaker 4: off stage.

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Speaker 1: That's amazing.

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Speaker 4: Do people laugh? And I was like, holy shit, I

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Speaker 4: did that. Like is Netflix going to book me for

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Speaker 4: a one hour special anytime soon?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 4: But like also I rose to the occasion and I

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Speaker 4: grew from that experience and like it was it was fun.

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Speaker 1: I love that. Where are you now with your do

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Speaker 1: do you write about your family? Dynamic in the book.

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Speaker 4: Yes, that's like the whole part one is you know,

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Speaker 4: growing up.

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Speaker 1: Do you feel like have they said they're proud of you?

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Speaker 1: Do do you feel like they've kind of accepted, you know,

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Speaker 1: the life and and when you did the Real Housewives?

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Speaker 1: Like how you know? Do you how's that? Because it's

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Speaker 1: I feel like we're all Half of my therapy now

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Speaker 1: is talking about my family.

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Speaker 4: Right, and you know, well Real Housewives did not go

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Speaker 4: well at all. Like my dad basically told me that

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Speaker 4: I was an embarrassment to the family, which wasn't the

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Speaker 4: first time, so it's okay. And like I did not

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Speaker 4: consult them before signing on to do the show because

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Speaker 4: they knew what they were going to say, Like they

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Speaker 4: were going to talk me out of it for sure, right,

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Speaker 4: and so I was like, I'm just going to do it.

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Speaker 4: And then when the show aired, I didn't even tell

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Speaker 4: them because I'm not like super close to my parents,

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Speaker 4: even though they live like thirty minutes away. I didn't

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Speaker 4: tell them that I was going to be on the show,

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Speaker 4: but I guess, you know, they hang out with friends

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Speaker 4: and stuff, and one of my mom's church friends daughters

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Speaker 4: like religiously watches Bravo and was like, Mom, isn't this

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Speaker 4: your friend from church? And that's her daughter, Tiffany, And

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Speaker 4: then it all went down from there. She said I

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Speaker 4: represented her poorly on the show, made her seem like

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Speaker 4: she was a bad mom when I was young, and

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Speaker 4: I was like, that's not exactly what I said. I

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Speaker 4: actually said way more than that. But as you know,

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Speaker 4: in reality TV, they can take one sentence that you

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Speaker 4: say out of context and now it sounds like I

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Speaker 4: was calling you a bad mom. But actually what I

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Speaker 4: said after that line was, you know, she wasn't there

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Speaker 4: a lot for me. She was doing the best that

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Speaker 4: she could. I felt really lonely. I didn't have any siblings,

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Speaker 4: but you know, at the end of the day, I

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Speaker 4: think that she did the best that she could. And

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Speaker 4: of course they cut that end part off.

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Speaker 1: Sure, yeah, one hundred percent.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, they were No, they were not proud of me.

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Speaker 4: For my real Housewives, I don't even think they know

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Speaker 4: about the comedy show. You know, it's weird. I'm like

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Speaker 4: not close to my parents like I am, and I'm not.

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Speaker 4: I don't call them. I never tell them that I'm

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Speaker 4: doing something. But if they call me and they need something,

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Speaker 4: like I drop everything to be there. But on a

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Speaker 4: day to day basis, I'm so jealous of my friends

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Speaker 4: that are like best friends with their mom and they

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Speaker 4: talk multiple times a day and they're texting, and I

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Speaker 4: just I simply don't have that kind of relationship with

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Speaker 4: my parents.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and you have kids too, So I'm just you know,

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Speaker 1: because I always get super jealous of all the people

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Speaker 1: parents that are close, like our parents are. You know,

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Speaker 1: his parents are in Scotland, minor in Michigan. So it's

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Speaker 1: you know that already places the separation, you know a bit,

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Speaker 1: and of not being integrated into into the life. But

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Speaker 1: you know, but I feel like we are. We I

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Speaker 1: never really gotten that, Like I'm proud of you. I

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Speaker 1: know you maybe haven't either by my moment that not

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Speaker 1: so much my dad Yeah and so, and there's a

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Speaker 1: piece of us that I've told him. I'm like, Bib,

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Speaker 1: don't be doing this to try to get it. I'm

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Speaker 1: proud of you from your dad or because it's like

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Speaker 1: I've stopped doing to get that cause i know I'm

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Speaker 1: not going to get that from them. I'll get it

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Speaker 1: from Like my therapist text me today when I booked

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Speaker 1: the movie She's like, I'm proud of you, and I'm like,

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00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:07,679
Speaker 1: that's the only I'm proud of you besides you that

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Speaker 1: I've gotten you know, I haven't gotten it from They're like,

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Speaker 1: oh cool. You know, it's not I'm proud of you.

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Speaker 1: It's an oh cool, have fun, you know, and we

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Speaker 1: want that. But now it's like we're going to the

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Speaker 1: age now. I don't know how old you are, but

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Speaker 1: like forties. You know, it's like I don't really need it.

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Speaker 1: It'd be nice, but I don't need it anymore.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I basically come to accept the fact that it's

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Speaker 4: not going to happen, you know what I mean. I'm

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Speaker 4: never gonna my dad is never going to sit down

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Speaker 4: and like look me in the eyes and be like,

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Speaker 4: you know what, maybe I wasn't the best father to you,

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Speaker 4: Like maybe I neglected you and you know, beat you

379
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Speaker 4: and that wasn't really necessary. Like even now. At Christmas,

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Speaker 4: I saw my parents and I was like just talking

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Speaker 4: about like how far I've come and all this stuff,

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Speaker 4: and we were making some sort of joke and I

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Speaker 4: was like, well, I guess you beat me out of

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Speaker 4: it or something, and my dad was like, see, you

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Speaker 4: turned out so great. Because of everything I did. And

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Speaker 4: I was like, oh, I see how this is going

387
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Speaker 4: to go. Like he thinks that I have achieved so

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Speaker 4: much because of the way he treated me. And I've

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Speaker 4: paid like forty thousand dollars of therapy bills because you

390
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Speaker 4: know what I mean. So we're just not going to

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Speaker 4: see Ida eye. We are never going to see Ida eye.

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Speaker 4: And frankly, I've just had to come to terms with that.

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Speaker 4: I'm never going to get that apology that I want

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Speaker 4: from him. And that's okay.

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Speaker 3: That's interesting because I think my dad has become more

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Speaker 3: empathetic as he got older. It's almost like it's almost

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Speaker 3: like he's grown out of that generation that came a

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Speaker 3: six fifty sixties seventies generation of.

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Speaker 2: This almost melicint, isn't it.

400
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Speaker 3: Yeah, But I think he softened a little bit where

401
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:47,240
Speaker 3: it sounds like your parents of Okay, that's the way

402
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Speaker 3: they do things, and despite the generation and the change

403
00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:52,640
Speaker 3: in decades, they're not gonna they're not going to change

404
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:54,720
Speaker 3: the views and ways on things. Whereas I think my

405
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Speaker 3: dad has softened and changed a little bit.

406
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Speaker 1: Well, in your book, you've you've talked about, you know,

407
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Speaker 1: your steps to find your joy again, and so with

408
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Speaker 1: all that, like where where? What are some of the

409
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Speaker 1: things the steps that you've taken to find that joy.

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Speaker 4: I think a lot of it was stop looking for

411
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Speaker 4: external validation, stop looking for awards, degrees, more trophies, more titles,

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Speaker 4: more gold stars, because it's exhausting. And you know, I

413
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:25,600
Speaker 4: kept telling myself, like, when I achieved this, then I'll

414
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Speaker 4: be happy. When I achieved this, I'll be happy. And

415
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Speaker 4: every time I got one of those things, I was

416
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Speaker 4: happy briefly, and then it would be like, Okay, what's next,

417
00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:37,520
Speaker 4: you know, and it just happened over and over and

418
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:41,200
Speaker 4: over again, like going to college at fifteen, graduating at nineteen,

419
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Speaker 4: graduating from medical school at twenty three, getting into the

420
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Speaker 4: top anesthesia program, getting married, having twins, like being promoted early,

421
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Speaker 4: winning Faculty of the Year teaching award, having over fifty

422
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:58,879
Speaker 4: publications on my CV like it was never enough. And finally,

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Speaker 4: one day, with the help with my therapist, I finally

424
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:06,040
Speaker 4: came to realize, like, oh, I've been climbing up the

425
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:09,879
Speaker 4: wrong ladder, Like I've been climbing up this ladder and

426
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:12,720
Speaker 4: it's like propped up against the wrong wall. Like what

427
00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:15,760
Speaker 4: I need to be doing is like focusing internally on

428
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:20,160
Speaker 4: my connections and laughter and humor. Like ten years ago,

429
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Speaker 4: I had no laughter, no humor in my life at all.

430
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Speaker 4: I was like straight laced, super serious. People at the hospital,

431
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Speaker 4: when I walked in to introduce myself to patients, they

432
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Speaker 4: wouldn't take me seriously because I look super young, I'm short,

433
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Speaker 4: I'm Asian, I'm female. They'd be like, are you the nurse,

434
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:41,160
Speaker 4: And I'd be like, no, I just introduced you to myself,

435
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:44,520
Speaker 4: to you as doctor Moon, like you know. And I

436
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:47,679
Speaker 4: just feel like people treated me differently, and so I

437
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:51,440
Speaker 4: tried to act very prim and proper and serious all

438
00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:55,120
Speaker 4: the time so that people would take me more seriously,

439
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:59,200
Speaker 4: and they still wouldn't, and I just I just stopped

440
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:02,040
Speaker 4: doing all the things that I thought I needed to

441
00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:05,040
Speaker 4: do in order for other people to love me. And

442
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:07,359
Speaker 4: then I was just like, they either love me or

443
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:09,560
Speaker 4: they don't. Like I'm not going to fight for it anymore.

444
00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:12,240
Speaker 2: Oh good, Yeah, I like that.

445
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:15,720
Speaker 1: I love that too. Would you would you come back

446
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,720
Speaker 1: if they if they had the Housewives come back in Dallas?

447
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:22,399
Speaker 4: Yes, but only if there were like almost all new people,

448
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:25,919
Speaker 4: Like half the cast of my season was awful, like

449
00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:29,760
Speaker 4: awful human beings. Only you moved to Dallas.

450
00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:33,800
Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't see Dallas that one, So it

451
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:36,720
Speaker 1: was it why were they bad? It was it just

452
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:40,080
Speaker 1: you guys just didn't mesh together. Or was everyone trying

453
00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:43,560
Speaker 1: to be the queen bee or what kind of happened?

454
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,240
Speaker 4: I don't think everyone was trying to be the queen Bee.

455
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:48,560
Speaker 4: I certainly wasn't because I was the new kid on

456
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:51,000
Speaker 4: the block, so I was like deferring to other people.

457
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:53,119
Speaker 4: I was not trying to come in like hot and

458
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,440
Speaker 4: heavy and be the queen bee in town.

459
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:57,119
Speaker 1: That was not my m O.

460
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:03,480
Speaker 4: One of my cast made lacked a little cultural sensitivity,

461
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:06,560
Speaker 4: and we had an episode with me making her eat

462
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:09,040
Speaker 4: something that she didn't want to eat, which was fine,

463
00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:14,800
Speaker 4: that's like housewives drama. But then after reunion, her family

464
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:20,520
Speaker 4: members took to Twitter now x to basically accuse me

465
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:24,320
Speaker 4: of being drunk and then going to work the next

466
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:26,800
Speaker 4: day at my hospital that I work at.

467
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:30,560
Speaker 1: Oh that's quite an allegation, right, yeah.

468
00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:33,119
Speaker 4: When in fact, actually I had a two drink maximum

469
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:35,960
Speaker 4: and a ten PM curfew, which the producers will back

470
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:41,320
Speaker 4: me up on. So her family members, her husband and

471
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:46,960
Speaker 4: his brother to be specific, tagged my employer on Twitter

472
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:51,960
Speaker 4: and insinuated that I was unfit to be anesthetizing patience.

473
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:55,240
Speaker 4: You can see how this is a problem. Yes, yes,

474
00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:58,520
Speaker 4: my career that I've worked my entire life for. Okay,

475
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:01,800
Speaker 4: so then we had to get lawyers involved, and that

476
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:05,200
Speaker 4: was not cute. Bravo doesn't like it when lawyers get involved.

477
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:10,640
Speaker 4: They prefer the Housewives drama to stay confined. And yeah,

478
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:14,960
Speaker 4: that was basically the nail in the coffin as far

479
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:16,200
Speaker 4: as Dallas went.

480
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:19,840
Speaker 1: Got it Okay, so you'd go back newcast? Yeah, do

481
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:22,720
Speaker 1: we understand that? It makes sense? Yeah? What do you

482
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:24,399
Speaker 1: want people to take away from your book?

483
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:31,199
Speaker 4: Mostly? I want people to know that the joy isn't

484
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:35,359
Speaker 4: in the destination, It's actually in the journey. And I

485
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 4: rushed through so much of life thinking that if I

486
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:40,720
Speaker 4: got to the finish line faster, the pot of gold

487
00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:44,359
Speaker 4: at the end would be bigger or something, and actually

488
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:47,880
Speaker 4: there is no pot of gold, and I missed out

489
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:51,680
Speaker 4: on so many moments of connection and laughter and gratitude

490
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:56,760
Speaker 4: because I was like, you know, like blinders on I mean,

491
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:59,120
Speaker 4: there's a chapter in the book called Blinders, and I'm

492
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:03,200
Speaker 4: referring to horse racing but I compare myself to being

493
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 4: like a horse with blinders on, never looking at the periphery,

494
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:10,480
Speaker 4: only focused on the finish line. And that is absolutely

495
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:11,920
Speaker 4: no way to live life.

496
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:14,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, because like you said, once you get there,

497
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:17,240
Speaker 1: you're still going to want something more and yeah, greater

498
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:18,560
Speaker 1: and bigger than that.

499
00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:22,720
Speaker 4: So yes, like it's never enough, that hedonistic treadmill. It's

500
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,399
Speaker 4: never enough. You know, you make a million dollars a

501
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:27,320
Speaker 4: year and then you want to make two million. You know,

502
00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:31,760
Speaker 4: it's just it's never enough until you decide in your

503
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:34,639
Speaker 4: heart that it's enough. You know. That's when I pulled

504
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:38,560
Speaker 4: back from work. I lost money from my salary because

505
00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:40,439
Speaker 4: I went part time at work, and I was like,

506
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:43,280
Speaker 4: I'm going to focus on myself. I want to actually

507
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:45,640
Speaker 4: be there for my kids. When you're in the operating

508
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:48,359
Speaker 4: room full time. It's Monday through Friday from about six

509
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:51,640
Speaker 4: forty five am to five pm. That doesn't leave much

510
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:54,399
Speaker 4: room for you know, going to your kids, Mommy and me,

511
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:58,560
Speaker 4: breakfast at their preschool, picking them up from carpool, Like

512
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:00,639
Speaker 4: you know what I mean, Like I I missed my

513
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:04,160
Speaker 4: kids first steps, their first words, Like I just missed

514
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:05,960
Speaker 4: it all because I was in an operating room when

515
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:08,200
Speaker 4: it happened, and I was like, God, what the hell

516
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:10,720
Speaker 4: am I doing? And then I would come home and

517
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:12,840
Speaker 4: my kids were like three or four, and they'd want

518
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,080
Speaker 4: to go outside and play, you know, throw a ball,

519
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:18,240
Speaker 4: run around, and I'd be like, can mommy just like

520
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:20,280
Speaker 4: sit down for a second, Like mommy just needs to

521
00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:22,639
Speaker 4: rest because I had been in an operating room taking

522
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 4: care of patients since six thirty am. And I was like, God,

523
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:29,840
Speaker 4: I am bringing home the shell of the person that

524
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,399
Speaker 4: I want to be for my children, and this is

525
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:33,200
Speaker 4: not acceptable.

526
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:37,040
Speaker 1: Amen to that. Well, everyone get joy prescriptions. How I

527
00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:40,720
Speaker 1: learned to stop chasing perfection and embrace connection. Tiffany, thank

528
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:42,159
Speaker 1: you so much for coming on.

529
00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:43,400
Speaker 4: Thank you so much.

530
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:46,080
Speaker 1: So sweet. Let me know, I want to Nashville.

531
00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:50,000
Speaker 4: Yes, I roll Housewives of Nashville. Or I think you

532
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:53,359
Speaker 4: should move to Dallas and they should reboot Dallas with

533
00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:56,280
Speaker 4: you as a leading cast member.

534
00:27:56,359 --> 00:27:58,480
Speaker 1: Okay, let's do it now. I couldn't. I couldn't do.

535
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:01,760
Speaker 1: I couldn't handle the Bravo you could enough?

536
00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:05,560
Speaker 4: No, you, yeah, you've had some sharp sharpness in there.

537
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:07,080
Speaker 4: I'm like, Oh, she could handle herself.

538
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:10,159
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. I think I would crumble he

539
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:12,240
Speaker 1: sees me. He sees I try to pretend like I

540
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:15,040
Speaker 1: got the thick skin and comments don't bother me, but

541
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:15,959
Speaker 1: he sees my crumble.

542
00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:18,040
Speaker 4: So yeah.

543
00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:20,080
Speaker 1: But anyways, thanks Tiffany, appreciate you.

544
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:23,480
Speaker 4: It was good talking to you. Guys.

545
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:21,680
Speaker 2: Thank