WEBVTT - #233 - Chris Distefano 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:03.040 Boutleg cam podcasts. We got my guy, Chrissy d in 0:00:03.040 --> 0:00:05.080 the building, one of my favorite comedians, one of my 0:00:05.120 --> 0:00:09.080 favorite podcasters. Thank you, my friend. Welcome sir. Now you 0:00:09.119 --> 0:00:11.600 are what what I've I've just just met you have 0:00:11.720 --> 0:00:13.000 known who you are for a long time, but I 0:00:13.080 --> 0:00:15.680 just physically am in your presence. You're an ambiguous race. 0:00:15.920 --> 0:00:19.040 I can't figure out are you Mexican? Are you white? 0:00:19.079 --> 0:00:23.160 Are you Middle Eastern? Are you a trans? I don't know. 0:00:23.640 --> 0:00:27.640 I am I am trans Caucasian. Are you full white? Yeah? 0:00:27.680 --> 0:00:30.920 I'm Irish, German and English? What so I'm just kind 0:00:30.920 --> 0:00:33.520 of like the trio of the whitest shit possible. You're 0:00:33.560 --> 0:00:36.160 you are the Empire, I am the I am I am. 0:00:36.400 --> 0:00:40.120 I am what Hitler was like, Yeah, yeah, dude, but 0:00:40.200 --> 0:00:42.400 you can there's a vibe to you. While I'm like, 0:00:42.440 --> 0:00:45.280 you could also be Latino. You don't be a sneaky Latino. 0:00:45.360 --> 0:00:49.320 A lot because my wife's Mexican. Okay, my kids are Mexican, 0:00:49.760 --> 0:00:53.880 and a lot of people recently have been disappointed to 0:00:53.920 --> 0:00:57.000 find out I was white. Yeah, a lot of rappers 0:00:57.200 --> 0:00:59.720 once they find out I'm white, did I yo? But 0:00:59.800 --> 0:01:02.560 you wife? And I'm like, what do you want from me? Yeah, 0:01:02.760 --> 0:01:04.480 you don't think a white guy can fucking get a 0:01:04.480 --> 0:01:08.120 hot Latin woman. Dude. My wife's Puerto Rican, that's what 0:01:08.200 --> 0:01:11.280 I mean. Yeah, bro, but I don't look Latino at all, 0:01:11.400 --> 0:01:15.720 so you're you're certainly white. Like it's very clear to 0:01:15.840 --> 0:01:18.520 me that, like, at least my girl she knew she 0:01:18.600 --> 0:01:20.880 was going in white, your girl could have been like 0:01:21.040 --> 0:01:24.320 I thought he was Mexican. But now unfortunately it's too late. 0:01:24.360 --> 0:01:27.520 But it's too late because you already dropped that empire dick. 0:01:27.880 --> 0:01:29.840 The empire dick. Yes, that's what it is. It's a 0:01:29.840 --> 0:01:34.840 good dick. Yeah. When I first when I first was 0:01:34.920 --> 0:01:37.320 living with my girl, like you know, I had to 0:01:37.360 --> 0:01:40.080 impress her, so I would I got the honey pack 0:01:40.160 --> 0:01:42.240 from the gas station. Yes, you know what I mean. 0:01:42.360 --> 0:01:46.399 That's beautiful. First month I was just I was on hgh. Yeah, dude. Yeah. 0:01:46.440 --> 0:01:48.480 And then I know, I always I always like to 0:01:48.480 --> 0:01:50.280 go the first couple of weeks with a new girl 0:01:50.360 --> 0:01:53.440 just sex with the lights off, you know, yeah, because 0:01:53.440 --> 0:01:55.120 it's just you know, I like, at least I get 0:01:55.160 --> 0:01:56.880 them hooked and then it's just a full letdown because 0:01:56.960 --> 0:01:59.200 then the lights go on and you're like yeah, because 0:01:59.200 --> 0:02:00.800 I'm one of those guys, like you know, you know, 0:02:00.800 --> 0:02:03.120 people always like, oh, you fucking you must be Jack. 0:02:03.160 --> 0:02:04.920 But then I take my shirt off, my titskull like this, 0:02:05.600 --> 0:02:07.000 you know, like I always have a crumb in my 0:02:07.040 --> 0:02:09.560 belly button. My dick has a couple of warts on it, 0:02:09.960 --> 0:02:11.960 and it's just one of those things where you get 0:02:11.960 --> 0:02:14.200 them hooked, they fall in love, and then they just 0:02:14.200 --> 0:02:17.600 start to see pass. Are you circumcised? Fully sir? Okay? Yeah. 0:02:18.400 --> 0:02:23.320 One of my camera guys yesterday was telling us, which 0:02:23.360 --> 0:02:26.400 sounds like a name for a cock he's got. He's like, 0:02:26.919 --> 0:02:30.720 we're all talking about like how we were somehow we 0:02:30.720 --> 0:02:33.120 were in a van in New York talking about our dicks. 0:02:33.240 --> 0:02:37.200 It happens and I was like, yeah, I'm two out 0:02:37.240 --> 0:02:40.080 of the four people were not circumcised. And I was like, 0:02:40.080 --> 0:02:42.799 that's fucking gross, right, And then I was like, yeah, no, 0:02:42.840 --> 0:02:45.920 I'm circumcised, but I'm like seventy five percent circumcised. Okay, 0:02:45.919 --> 0:02:48.200 what does that mean? He said that, like they cut 0:02:48.200 --> 0:02:50.440 his dick and then they like reattached a part of 0:02:50.440 --> 0:02:54.480 the skin, and then he started to pull up my 0:02:54.600 --> 0:02:56.760 pictures of other dicks that look like his, dick, and 0:02:56.800 --> 0:03:00.200 I was like, Bro, that's a rough fucking go for 0:03:00.240 --> 0:03:02.480 a young lady that's got a look at that mutilated 0:03:02.560 --> 0:03:06.320 fucking meat finger down there. Honestly, even when I'm watching porn, 0:03:07.040 --> 0:03:08.920 it doesn't matter how hot the girl is. If the 0:03:08.919 --> 0:03:12.960 guys uncircumcised, I'm like, gross, can't do it? Next video? 0:03:13.560 --> 0:03:16.400 What percentage of gay does it make me that I 0:03:16.520 --> 0:03:18.840 have to have a nice dick in the video. Here's 0:03:18.840 --> 0:03:20.359 the thing, here's what I'm about to tell you right now. 0:03:20.400 --> 0:03:23.560 Back by science. I just watched this was maybe a 0:03:23.600 --> 0:03:26.520 few months ago. I just watched a neuroscientist talk about 0:03:26.960 --> 0:03:31.480 that men straight men ninety nine percent of the time 0:03:31.720 --> 0:03:34.360 will fast forward or go to the next porn video 0:03:34.440 --> 0:03:38.120 if the man's penis isn't big, because what excites a man. 0:03:38.560 --> 0:03:41.200 A man's sexual part of the brain are tits and 0:03:41.240 --> 0:03:43.720 a dick. That's what it wants. It wants the big 0:03:43.760 --> 0:03:47.200 breaths and a big dick because the subcont the little 0:03:47.200 --> 0:03:51.320 dick subconsciously makes the man feel insecure because they start 0:03:51.360 --> 0:03:52.880 to think about their own size and it takes them 0:03:52.880 --> 0:03:56.520 out of it. They want big, big, huge dick with 0:03:56.680 --> 0:04:00.760 big boobs. So hypothetically, the straight man and would have 0:04:00.800 --> 0:04:06.640 the highest climax off of transgender shemail porn. That's the neuroscientist. 0:04:07.080 --> 0:04:11.400 That's the neuroscientist that I hired. Give give that lecture. No, 0:04:11.760 --> 0:04:15.200 that's a neuroscientist that was backed by science, dude, So 0:04:15.240 --> 0:04:17.560 it's weird you bring that up that way. Wait wait, 0:04:17.600 --> 0:04:20.839 so hypothetically a straight this is this is real, this 0:04:20.960 --> 0:04:24.280 is backed by science. This. I saw a Ted talk 0:04:24.720 --> 0:04:26.440 of a guy I was also an event of my friends, 0:04:26.440 --> 0:04:28.440 and I was like, let's look up Ted talks on 0:04:28.720 --> 0:04:31.520 that can verify that we're not gay because we like 0:04:31.600 --> 0:04:35.200 she mails. So we looked into it and this is true. 0:04:35.240 --> 0:04:39.039 You can YouTube this. It literally. The science has said 0:04:39.480 --> 0:04:41.800 they did a whole study, you know, in Sweden or 0:04:41.839 --> 0:04:44.560 one of those crazy freaky tee countries where they were 0:04:44.600 --> 0:04:47.960 like that men got most excited by a big penis 0:04:47.960 --> 0:04:50.840 and a big pair of boobs because that in the 0:04:51.200 --> 0:04:54.000 core of the brain, you want the big boobs, obviously, 0:04:54.000 --> 0:04:57.440 you want you know, we know why and and do 0:04:57.520 --> 0:05:00.280 you know why actually big boobs, why we're why we're 0:05:00.760 --> 0:05:02.839 attracted to big boobs and a big But do you 0:05:02.839 --> 0:05:05.480 know the scientific reason for that? I don't. I didn't 0:05:05.480 --> 0:05:08.320 know there was one. I enjoy nice big breasts, but 0:05:08.440 --> 0:05:10.880 I would probably fancy myself and ask guy, But you 0:05:10.880 --> 0:05:14.160 know I like both. Okay, here's what it is. So 0:05:14.200 --> 0:05:17.400 the reason why you even ask. The reason why scientists 0:05:17.440 --> 0:05:21.320 say you like men, we like big boobs and a 0:05:21.440 --> 0:05:25.600 big butt, white hips is the boobs one is because 0:05:25.640 --> 0:05:30.440 what we're subconsciously Neanderthal brain seeing baby has milk. Our 0:05:30.520 --> 0:05:32.680 babies will have milk to feed off. Big breast, right 0:05:32.720 --> 0:05:37.360 and comfortable pillow to lay on now now, But hips, 0:05:37.760 --> 0:05:41.920 why birthing canal gives us subconstantly our chance, our baby's chances, 0:05:41.960 --> 0:05:44.640 the best chance of survival. So we associate the butt 0:05:44.680 --> 0:05:47.640 with the hips. That's the reason why. And that's also 0:05:47.680 --> 0:05:50.520 the reason why women like this all makes sense big guys, 0:05:50.640 --> 0:05:53.159 why they like attract to a taller guys because in 0:05:53.240 --> 0:05:56.360 her brandy, she's saying he can guard me from animals. 0:05:56.360 --> 0:05:57.840 We can go out and hunt, he can go out 0:05:57.880 --> 0:06:01.680 and hunt. And that's also why men are attracted to 0:06:01.880 --> 0:06:05.560 more physical attributes and beauty and women aren't because what 0:06:05.640 --> 0:06:08.520 a woman needs is a man who's all they really 0:06:08.520 --> 0:06:10.400 care about is if they're smarter enough. Because you have 0:06:10.480 --> 0:06:12.800 to again we live in a different world now, but 0:06:12.800 --> 0:06:15.000 this is neanderthal brain that we still have, you know, 0:06:15.120 --> 0:06:18.320 are connected to the man's has to be smarter. That's 0:06:18.320 --> 0:06:21.039 why they're less about physical qualities, because you have to 0:06:21.040 --> 0:06:22.880 be cunning to go out and hunt and find food 0:06:22.880 --> 0:06:25.280 and perspect right where the woman is not going out 0:06:25.279 --> 0:06:27.080 and doing it. So we don't care if she's smarter enough. 0:06:27.200 --> 0:06:30.000 We just say them big old tit as for our 0:06:30.040 --> 0:06:32.640 baby's breast milk and the big cock and a big 0:06:32.680 --> 0:06:36.560 cock and a nice and a nice, nice wide burthen canal. 0:06:37.160 --> 0:06:39.560 That's what it is. If Kim Kardashian had a cock, 0:06:39.640 --> 0:06:45.120 I'd be in have you seen? Have you seen? My 0:06:45.279 --> 0:06:53.240 wife follows this makeup artist, Nikita Dragon's she's an Asian uh, 0:06:53.680 --> 0:06:57.040 makeup influencer, but she's she's trans right, okay, but like 0:06:58.240 --> 0:07:02.720 fucking smoking okay, but it's like it's almost like crazy. Yes, 0:07:02.800 --> 0:07:04.720 you know what I did? Actually, my girl told me 0:07:04.760 --> 0:07:07.080 to look into Nikita Dragon, and I did, and we 0:07:07.120 --> 0:07:10.080 reached out to do her podcast or if I could 0:07:10.080 --> 0:07:11.600 go on her so she'd come to mind and she 0:07:11.800 --> 0:07:14.240 I believe her reps just sent a one word answer, 0:07:14.240 --> 0:07:16.760 which was no, I'm almost that's where I know her 0:07:16.800 --> 0:07:18.880 hard no, hard no, And I'm like, well, I'm still 0:07:18.960 --> 0:07:22.120 jerking off to you, so can't stop me from doing that. Yeah. 0:07:22.120 --> 0:07:24.280 I always tell my friends. I'm like, yo, I can't 0:07:24.320 --> 0:07:28.320 watch lesbian poorn. No, there's nothing in lesbian porn for me. Nothing. 0:07:28.560 --> 0:07:30.880 There's nothing because I like to at least feel like 0:07:31.000 --> 0:07:36.160 I'm the dude that's you know, fucking yes. Yeah, and 0:07:36.200 --> 0:07:38.600 I almost I try to come my come time. I 0:07:38.640 --> 0:07:41.600 come shot with the guys. Come shot. Yes, yes, yeah, 0:07:43.600 --> 0:07:45.679 that's the strategy. That's why I like. And I also 0:07:45.880 --> 0:07:50.440 like an up close and personal blowjop. I like a blowjob. 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:52.160 I don't like, you know, if you're eating a girl, 0:07:52.200 --> 0:07:53.840 I don't care. Nobody wants to see a guy you 0:07:53.920 --> 0:07:56.119 a chick out. Let me see your wet cock. Dude. 0:07:57.760 --> 0:07:59.680 How many people you think turn this podcast off for 0:07:59.720 --> 0:08:03.400 the to get the goal? Especially my audience, they're like, yo, 0:08:03.520 --> 0:08:08.240 what the fuck? Hey yo, yo, he sucks that boss, boss, 0:08:08.520 --> 0:08:15.000 your man's wild sucks. Oh man, Well welcome, thank you. 0:08:15.280 --> 0:08:17.000 That was a great way to kick things off there. 0:08:17.040 --> 0:08:20.560 It is for people who don't know you, how did 0:08:20.560 --> 0:08:23.600 you cause did you kind of give us kind of 0:08:23.600 --> 0:08:25.440 a Rundown on how you kind of started to get 0:08:25.440 --> 0:08:27.200 your buzz going in the in the comedy scene. Was 0:08:27.240 --> 0:08:29.360 it the Opie and Anthony Show. Opie and Anthony was 0:08:29.640 --> 0:08:31.560 definitely big for me. I started stand up in two 0:08:31.600 --> 0:08:34.280 thousand and nine, twenty ten, okay, And then you know, 0:08:34.520 --> 0:08:38.000 it's interesting like I went that route of you know, 0:08:38.120 --> 0:08:40.560 I got on Guy Code, Code and Girl Code, which 0:08:40.600 --> 0:08:43.840 was was big, like big show by the way, Scholes 0:08:43.920 --> 0:08:49.160 was on there as well, Charlemagne, Broh Schultz, Charlemagne. Ah gosh, 0:08:49.200 --> 0:08:51.920 there's like so many people that came from that. Yeah, 0:08:51.960 --> 0:08:56.240 man Aquafina, Like all these people came out of it, 0:08:56.360 --> 0:08:58.920 Nicole Bayer and there's like literally, if you look, it's 0:08:58.920 --> 0:09:01.240 like wild little Duvall, You're like, all these people are 0:09:01.240 --> 0:09:03.720 on Guy Coding, Girl Code and really nobody the biggest 0:09:03.720 --> 0:09:07.240 one with Charlotmagne, Charlemagne and Duval were you know, pretty 0:09:07.280 --> 0:09:10.400 pretty famous. But by of course, other than that, nobody 0:09:10.480 --> 0:09:12.920 really had a career. It was like all our starting 0:09:12.920 --> 0:09:17.280 off points Pete Davidson. So it's like, you know, we 0:09:17.320 --> 0:09:19.520 did that show and that listen. That definitely got us 0:09:19.559 --> 0:09:21.400 to a point, got us in the clubs, got us know, 0:09:21.520 --> 0:09:23.840 But it still didn't get you to like you still 0:09:23.880 --> 0:09:26.080 weren't like we weren't. None of us were really selling 0:09:26.120 --> 0:09:28.240 tickets or or you know, on the road, because that's 0:09:28.280 --> 0:09:30.199 really the barometer of a comic. You could be on 0:09:30.200 --> 0:09:31.640 this TV show, on that TV show and do that, 0:09:31.679 --> 0:09:34.440 but can you sell tickets? But because selling tickets is 0:09:34.760 --> 0:09:37.200 it's not only it's not only to other comics, but 0:09:37.240 --> 0:09:39.760 also just it's a world thing. It's like there's no 0:09:39.840 --> 0:09:41.720 smoking mirrors with tickets sales. There's a lot of smoking 0:09:41.760 --> 0:09:43.880 mirrors with television. You could be on a hit, Oh 0:09:43.920 --> 0:09:46.040 I got a CBS show, I got this Shawman. No, 0:09:46.080 --> 0:09:49.000 it gives you. But guess what, nobody knows who you are. Nobody, 0:09:49.120 --> 0:09:51.320 nobody cares to purchase the ticket. But there's no because 0:09:51.400 --> 0:09:53.640 because you could make you know, the New York poster 0:09:53.720 --> 0:09:55.800 whomever could write an article about anyone saying that the 0:09:55.800 --> 0:09:57.640 next big whatever, and it's like, it's bullshit. If no 0:09:57.679 --> 0:10:00.040 one's at your shows, that if the people come, and 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:02.200 that's how you know, So the people really weren't coming 0:10:02.320 --> 0:10:05.560 until really I started to do podcasting and the internet, 0:10:05.600 --> 0:10:08.840 and I had to kind of fail uh in television 0:10:08.920 --> 0:10:12.200 to learn that because I had. I had my daughter 0:10:12.280 --> 0:10:14.600 seven now, she was about six months old at the time. 0:10:14.640 --> 0:10:18.360 I had a sitcom with CBS, a pilot film, the 0:10:18.360 --> 0:10:20.520 whole thing. You know. I met Dulp people at Chaz 0:10:20.559 --> 0:10:23.959 commentary from Bronxtail. Uh. He played my father and the 0:10:24.000 --> 0:10:27.520 show Diane Guerrero played my love interest from Orange Is 0:10:27.559 --> 0:10:30.080 the New Black and and a bunch of other stuff 0:10:30.480 --> 0:10:32.560 and uh. And then I thought I was gonna be 0:10:32.840 --> 0:10:35.120 you know, the next Ray Romano or the CBS was 0:10:35.160 --> 0:10:36.880 telling me You're gonna be this and that, and then 0:10:37.000 --> 0:10:39.679 the show didn't go, just failed, did not did not go. 0:10:39.720 --> 0:10:41.720 I spent a year in my life put everything I 0:10:41.720 --> 0:10:43.280 had into it was going back and forth to La, 0:10:43.400 --> 0:10:46.320 time away from my family, and then you know, missed 0:10:46.679 --> 0:10:48.600 moments with my daughter's life. And I was like, well, 0:10:48.679 --> 0:10:50.160 but this will be good. We'll move to LA because 0:10:50.160 --> 0:10:52.880 I was following this you know route of the print. Yeah, 0:10:53.280 --> 0:10:58.320 Night Seinfeld, ninth Bill Cosby, all these guys, and and 0:10:58.360 --> 0:11:00.079 it didn't go. And I said, well, shit, now I 0:11:00.120 --> 0:11:02.719 got a daughter, a young daughter, you know that, I 0:11:03.160 --> 0:11:04.920 have a life here. I got a girl, I had 0:11:04.920 --> 0:11:08.080 a step son. I was like, I need to make money, 0:11:08.320 --> 0:11:10.439 so I said, I made a deal with myself. When 0:11:10.480 --> 0:11:14.160 it didn't go I said, I said, I'm not going 0:11:14.200 --> 0:11:17.439 to allow myself ever again in my career to not 0:11:17.600 --> 0:11:20.320 be in control. I'm never going to put my fate 0:11:20.400 --> 0:11:23.040 of my career in my family, someone else, in someone 0:11:23.040 --> 0:11:25.120 else's hands. The only people I will give it to 0:11:25.280 --> 0:11:27.640 is the audience, is the fans. So I said, find 0:11:27.679 --> 0:11:30.320 a way to give your put your career in the 0:11:30.360 --> 0:11:31.960 hands of your fans. And that's when I turned to 0:11:32.000 --> 0:11:35.880 the internet and podcasting, and it's really it was going good, 0:11:35.920 --> 0:11:37.680 going good, and then it's weird like that when the 0:11:37.720 --> 0:11:41.400 pandemic happened. You know a lot of people kind of 0:11:41.640 --> 0:11:44.120 career life got put on pause. But that's when my 0:11:44.240 --> 0:11:47.439 career like got to the next level. Yeah, because everybody, 0:11:47.640 --> 0:11:50.080 the whole world just sitting in front of computer, same 0:11:50.080 --> 0:11:54.439 thing with Schultz. Schultz exploded in the pandemic. So it's 0:11:54.559 --> 0:11:57.560 it's one of those things where I still and I 0:11:57.600 --> 0:11:59.719 live by that now. And now I am going to 0:11:59.760 --> 0:12:02.280 do some some TV stuff, but it's all on my 0:12:02.320 --> 0:12:03.679 own terms. I'm like, yo, I don't want to go 0:12:03.720 --> 0:12:05.560 to LA I don't want I want to do a 0:12:05.600 --> 0:12:07.319 whole If I'm going to do TV. It's got to 0:12:07.360 --> 0:12:11.079 be out of New York because now I have the power, 0:12:11.120 --> 0:12:13.800 because because my fans, because my careers in the hands 0:12:13.840 --> 0:12:15.880 of my fans. Now my tickets are sold, Now we 0:12:16.240 --> 0:12:19.160 add shows. Now you know, I have a podcast and 0:12:19.200 --> 0:12:22.000 a Patreon and everything is being controlled through my way. 0:12:22.080 --> 0:12:24.600 So now I can tell you know, now I can 0:12:24.640 --> 0:12:26.400 dictate my own terms, where a lot of times with 0:12:26.520 --> 0:12:29.840 TV you can't. The corporate person will say, well, you 0:12:29.960 --> 0:12:33.080 can't do this because you know they have all the 0:12:33.080 --> 0:12:35.280 bargaining chips. But now I can say, well, listen, if 0:12:35.280 --> 0:12:38.840 we don't do it my way, no album, I don't. Guy. Yeah, 0:12:38.840 --> 0:12:40.800 it's and and and it's very respectful, but it's like, 0:12:41.000 --> 0:12:43.360 there's no reason I need to do your show other 0:12:43.840 --> 0:12:46.000 I have everything. I'm only going to do what I 0:12:46.040 --> 0:12:48.720 want to do. That's a great position to be in life. Yeah, 0:12:48.760 --> 0:12:51.520 I sit on my couch or or or or studio 0:12:51.640 --> 0:12:54.280 very close to my house, say exactly what I want 0:12:54.520 --> 0:12:56.400 to the fans that want to hear it. They come 0:12:56.440 --> 0:12:58.000 and buy tickets to my show, and we have a 0:12:58.040 --> 0:13:01.559 happy little family. And to be honest with you, and 0:13:01.679 --> 0:13:04.720 I'm fine with this. It's like even somebody like my 0:13:04.800 --> 0:13:06.760 mother would be like, oh, why don't you want to 0:13:06.760 --> 0:13:09.440 do this show at that show, because even she doesn't understand, like, 0:13:09.760 --> 0:13:13.040 I lose money doing that. So not only is it freedom, 0:13:13.760 --> 0:13:16.440 you know, comedically, which is the most important, but financially 0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:18.760 it's like, you know, I make way more money doing 0:13:18.840 --> 0:13:20.840 it my way, sitting on my couch being I don't 0:13:20.840 --> 0:13:24.000 miss it. I barely miss any events in my daughter's 0:13:24.000 --> 0:13:26.880 life unless I'm on the road, because I'm like, I don't. 0:13:26.920 --> 0:13:29.280 I'm not gonna go away and do things. Don't. There's 0:13:29.679 --> 0:13:32.800 time is time is so much more valuable to me 0:13:32.880 --> 0:13:36.600 than money. It's the greatest currency. It is the greatest currency. 0:13:36.679 --> 0:13:39.520 I don't need, you know, I think about money in 0:13:39.559 --> 0:13:41.559 a different, very different Now. I got two kids, two 0:13:41.640 --> 0:13:43.600 daughters and a step son. So now I'm like, you know, 0:13:43.760 --> 0:13:46.640 I just don't. I flatter Like I just turned down 0:13:46.679 --> 0:13:49.440 a movie yesterday that would have taken me to la 0:13:49.600 --> 0:13:51.760 for six weeks, and I'm like, it was with a 0:13:52.000 --> 0:13:55.120 comedy hero of mine. You know, the money was okay, 0:13:55.840 --> 0:13:57.600 but I was like, it's just not worth it, man, 0:13:57.720 --> 0:14:02.200 I'll do that. I'll hold flee that opportunity. Similar opportunity 0:14:02.240 --> 0:14:04.560 is there twenty years from now when I'm older and 0:14:04.600 --> 0:14:06.160 my kids don't want to hang out with me anyway. 0:14:06.200 --> 0:14:07.959 You know, they're in college and I but right now 0:14:07.960 --> 0:14:09.199 with this time, I don't want to miss anything in 0:14:09.240 --> 0:14:13.040 their life. So I'm very focused on Hey, I'm only 0:14:13.080 --> 0:14:15.760 gonna do things that keep me close to home. Now. Listen, 0:14:15.800 --> 0:14:17.640 I gotta you know, when I go on the road 0:14:17.679 --> 0:14:19.520 and yeah, you got, I got a tour, but it's 0:14:19.520 --> 0:14:21.800 but it's minimal time. It's like I get again, I 0:14:21.800 --> 0:14:24.640 get to a city Thursday, I'm home Sunday morning. It's 0:14:24.640 --> 0:14:27.400 not like eight weeks away. I'll never do that, you know. 0:14:28.600 --> 0:14:30.880 So yeah, so I think that was the big thing. 0:14:31.080 --> 0:14:34.120 Big thing that changed in my career was my mindset 0:14:34.160 --> 0:14:36.840 of I will only put my career in the hands 0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:38.800 of my fans. I will not. I will. And I 0:14:38.880 --> 0:14:42.120 also caught even on the TV shows I do. It's like, listen, 0:14:42.160 --> 0:14:44.360 if you don't like the way I understand, you can't 0:14:44.600 --> 0:14:46.600 say certain words on television. I get that. But if 0:14:46.600 --> 0:14:49.800 you're gonna dumb down my comedy to a point that 0:14:49.880 --> 0:14:52.240 I'm not happy with me anymore, I'm off the show 0:14:52.440 --> 0:14:55.400 you consume me, I mean, I don't care. You know, Hey, 0:14:55.400 --> 0:14:57.240 what have you'll, Bootleg keV gott to stop the interview 0:14:57.280 --> 0:14:59.640 to tell you about our newest sponsor. Man shout out 0:14:59.640 --> 0:15:03.520 to the home at Hardan, Las Vegas. That's right then, 0:15:03.600 --> 0:15:08.040 number one dispensary in the whole state of Nevada, let 0:15:08.080 --> 0:15:11.160 alone in the whole fucking country. So many choices of 0:15:11.200 --> 0:15:15.200 premium cannabis. Ladies and gentlemen. It is like, how can 0:15:15.240 --> 0:15:17.680 I put this? You walk into it. You go to 0:15:17.760 --> 0:15:21.320 Hardan in Las Vegas when you're on vacation, when you're 0:15:21.360 --> 0:15:25.000 out there tricking off whatever you're doing, stop off at Hardan, 0:15:25.520 --> 0:15:28.080 tell them I sent you. Be like, yo, Bootleg keV 0:15:28.160 --> 0:15:30.480 sent me. They're gonna take care of you at Hardean. 0:15:30.720 --> 0:15:33.920 When I say selection, I mean selection of the best 0:15:34.080 --> 0:15:38.920 premium cannabis in the world, the best dispensary. There's a 0:15:38.960 --> 0:15:43.080 reason why Harden is world famous. Follow them right now, 0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:47.960 Hardan Underscore Las Vegas. Go to their website Hardenlasvegas dot com. 0:15:47.960 --> 0:15:53.600 That's JR. D N Underscore Las Vegas. When you're in Vegas, 0:15:53.840 --> 0:15:56.480 you have to pull up to Hardan, tell them I 0:15:56.640 --> 0:16:00.080 sent you, and get high off your fucking face. I 0:16:00.080 --> 0:16:01.160 don't even know what that means. How do you get 0:16:01.200 --> 0:16:03.680 high off of your face whatever? Melt your fucking face 0:16:03.680 --> 0:16:05.800 off with some of that good hard dean, y'all go 0:16:05.800 --> 0:16:08.160 follow them one more time. That's hardy and underscore Las Vegas. 0:16:08.240 --> 0:16:10.440 Let's get back to the interview. Most people would take 0:16:10.480 --> 0:16:14.320 the movie with their comedic hero listen. For me, I 0:16:14.480 --> 0:16:17.200 just thought about it, right, and I was just like, 0:16:17.320 --> 0:16:19.200 can you say who it is? Kevin Hart? No? No, no no, 0:16:19.560 --> 0:16:21.960 I know it was Bill Berr. Okay, Oh well shit, yeah? 0:16:22.040 --> 0:16:25.840 And and and and and and you know, it was 0:16:25.840 --> 0:16:28.160 one of those things where I was like, yo, like, 0:16:28.440 --> 0:16:32.320 I I is that worth six weeks away from my kids? 0:16:32.360 --> 0:16:39.320 That worth missing six track practices a birthday? You know? Uh? 0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:42.160 Is it worth? Uh? Three movie nights? Is it? Is? It? 0:16:42.280 --> 0:16:44.760 Is it worth all that? And I was like, you know, 0:16:44.800 --> 0:16:47.960 we're not struggling financially right now or anything we want. 0:16:48.000 --> 0:16:49.520 And I and you know what's great. You know what's 0:16:49.560 --> 0:16:52.200 the best part about all this too, is I can 0:16:52.280 --> 0:16:55.800 have say what I want right to my fans who care, 0:16:56.200 --> 0:16:59.560 have some financial freedom and flexibility to my fans give me. 0:17:00.000 --> 0:17:02.880 And the best part is I also have my anonymity. 0:17:02.920 --> 0:17:05.440 When I walk down the street, I get noticed maybe 0:17:05.480 --> 0:17:08.000 two or three times. But it's a beautiful thing. But 0:17:08.480 --> 0:17:10.880 it's like, but even if I did do even if 0:17:10.880 --> 0:17:14.680 I said something out of context on a tweet, right, nobody, 0:17:15.160 --> 0:17:17.520 no one's coming to me. It doesn't care. They'd be like, oh, 0:17:17.560 --> 0:17:19.400 what does he have a fucking podcast where he sits 0:17:19.440 --> 0:17:22.679 down with T T. Jerry and Chrissy Cass. They'd be like, 0:17:22.680 --> 0:17:24.359 this is not big enough. Now. If you get in 0:17:24.400 --> 0:17:26.480 a movie, if you get on a big take, now 0:17:26.480 --> 0:17:28.360 they start to want to they have shit to take 0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:30.440 from you now. But if you don't give them that, 0:17:30.480 --> 0:17:32.320 then what do they have to take? They had something 0:17:32.359 --> 0:17:36.879 where they were on your ass recently, you were on TikTok. Yeah, 0:17:37.280 --> 0:17:39.320 was it like a Latin joke or something? I don't think. 0:17:39.359 --> 0:17:41.040 I think I think people took out of context and 0:17:41.040 --> 0:17:42.800 they don't realize you're married to a Latin woman. Yeah, 0:17:42.880 --> 0:17:45.480 so that but it's interesting, So that happened. You know, 0:17:45.480 --> 0:17:48.120 the Mexican community was coming after me, and I understood 0:17:48.160 --> 0:17:50.439 the wording of that joke because basically what I was 0:17:50.480 --> 0:17:52.800 trying to say was it's basically it was a whole 0:17:52.800 --> 0:17:54.880 made up scenario. So what I was trying to say 0:17:55.080 --> 0:17:57.399 was is that t T. Jerry, who if you don't know, 0:17:57.760 --> 0:18:00.440 she's on my podcast. She's transgender Latino woman did twenty 0:18:00.480 --> 0:18:03.080 years in prison, you know, Puerto Rican. Like she's like, 0:18:03.480 --> 0:18:05.960 you know, it's it's it's my wife's uncle and she's 0:18:05.960 --> 0:18:09.040 actually my kid's godmother now and you know whatever, she's 0:18:09.160 --> 0:18:11.720 my family and so so we you know, say wild 0:18:11.760 --> 0:18:14.359 shit on the pod together. But we were saying that 0:18:14.480 --> 0:18:18.000 there was a guy was fixing my friend, family friend 0:18:18.080 --> 0:18:21.719 was fixing an air conditioner unit in my in my attic, 0:18:21.880 --> 0:18:24.600 and his foot went through the ceiling right, So I 0:18:24.760 --> 0:18:26.800 was like, and he said, he was like, he was like, 0:18:26.840 --> 0:18:28.920 oh shit, he goes, I'm sorry. I was like, yeah, whatever, 0:18:29.040 --> 0:18:30.640 just patch it up. And then and then he goes 0:18:30.640 --> 0:18:32.480 and then he goes. He was like, he's Spanish, but 0:18:32.520 --> 0:18:34.119 he was like, oh, I don't have my papers. I 0:18:34.119 --> 0:18:35.639 don't have my papers and then like so we were 0:18:35.680 --> 0:18:37.879 just like joking around like that and all laughing. So 0:18:37.920 --> 0:18:39.639 then I went on the podcast the next day. And 0:18:39.680 --> 0:18:42.000 that's what it is, like, you take scenarios like that 0:18:42.080 --> 0:18:45.000 and you make bits of it. That's even in a podcast, 0:18:45.040 --> 0:18:47.280 people like, hey, what you said about X, Y and 0:18:47.359 --> 0:18:49.240 Z that you know sometimes my family called me like 0:18:49.280 --> 0:18:52.120 that's not true. I'm not This isn't therapy, right, doing 0:18:52.200 --> 0:18:55.359 a show, so we're entertaining people. So what happened was 0:18:55.520 --> 0:18:57.840 I said on the podcast, I said, oh, you know, 0:18:58.000 --> 0:19:01.919 like a Mexican worker felt through my ceiling yesterday, and 0:19:01.960 --> 0:19:04.480 I was like, you know, I was like, you know, 0:19:04.560 --> 0:19:06.520 he said that his neck hurt. And then T. T. 0:19:06.640 --> 0:19:08.480 Jerry went up there and was like, I said that 0:19:08.520 --> 0:19:10.080 he felt through this. What I meant to say was 0:19:10.119 --> 0:19:12.480 he fell through the ceiling. And then twenty minutes later, 0:19:12.520 --> 0:19:14.320 all of a sudden, he said it's neck hurt. And 0:19:14.320 --> 0:19:15.959 then T. T. Jerry went up the stairs like, oh, 0:19:16.000 --> 0:19:17.960