Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning.
Speaker 2: The Breakfast Club.
Speaker 3: Morning, everybody, It's DJ n V Charlamagne the Guy.
Speaker 4: We are the Breakfast Club. We got a special guest
Speaker 4: in the building. Yes, indeed we have Pastor Mike Todd.
Speaker 1: Welcome brother, what's going on? Family'all good?
Speaker 5: Yes, man, I'm blessed. Man, I'm at the Breakfast Club
Speaker 5: with y'all.
Speaker 2: I'm blessed, black and holly favored.
Speaker 5: You are definitely black, blessed and highly favored. It I
Speaker 5: feel like all of us are blessed, black and hot.
Speaker 5: Feels good.
Speaker 2: Thank you for having me, Man, Happy to have you
Speaker 2: new book, damage would not destroyed from trauma to triumph. Yes, sir,
Speaker 2: powerful title. Bro.
Speaker 5: It's my life and it's honestly, I believe a lot
Speaker 5: of people's life that they don't share.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 5: You see everybody from people who've gone from the gutter
Speaker 5: to this big platform, or people who've just made it
Speaker 5: out of the hood or just made it from where
Speaker 5: they thought they would never come, but then they shut
Speaker 5: up and stopped telling the actual story about how they
Speaker 5: got from where they were to where they are now.
Speaker 2: I have a theory about that.
Speaker 1: What is it?
Speaker 2: I think the theory now, like I'm forty five years old,
Speaker 2: so you look good. It so grown, thank you brother.
Speaker 2: So growing up, you know, it was those stories of overcoming,
Speaker 2: those stories of making mistakes and you know, becoming a
Speaker 2: better person that we always gravitated towards that we learned from. Nowadays,
Speaker 2: because of this soul called cancel culture, Yeah, nobody wants
Speaker 2: to talk about the mistakes that they made. Yeah know,
Speaker 2: nobody because they feel like they'll be judged for them
Speaker 2: and crucified for them, which they probably.
Speaker 1: Will, well, but it's temporary.
Speaker 5: Like the truth of the matter is, because I'm a
Speaker 5: person of faith, I believe the truth of the matter
Speaker 5: is the we overcome by the blood of the Lamb.
Speaker 5: That's what crisis them. But the words of our own testimony,
Speaker 5: even if you don't believe what I believe, the truth
Speaker 5: is when you see somebody else go through something and
Speaker 5: you make it through it, it gives you courage, It
Speaker 5: gives you hope, it gives you dang maybe I can
Speaker 5: do that too. And a lot of people are robbing
Speaker 5: other people of the fuel that they need to overcome
Speaker 5: their actual situation because they scared. Number one and number
Speaker 5: two is because they feel like, maybe my worst moment
Speaker 5: defined me, but I found that my worst moment that's
Speaker 5: who that's what made me. And so I just wanted
Speaker 5: to come like completely clean, completely raw. I say, hot, humble, open,
Speaker 5: and transparent, and I mean it takes also the power
Speaker 5: out of what anybody can ever say about me.
Speaker 2: I used to I believe you. I agree with everything
Speaker 2: you say. I always say, live your truth, so nobody
Speaker 2: can use your truth against you. Well, boy, they will.
Speaker 1: Try, they'll try.
Speaker 5: The truth of the matter is, but if it's real,
Speaker 5: like when you cut it open and it's real and
Speaker 5: you actually grew from it, and you actually learn from
Speaker 5: the cheating, and you actually did the work and went
Speaker 5: the therapy and you actually yeah, no, I did'bazzle that money,
Speaker 5: but I'm not gonna do that and never again. And
Speaker 5: I'm like, when you actually grow. I believe that this
Speaker 5: life is about progression, not perfection. And on the GRAM
Speaker 5: and in front of people, were always trying to present perfection.
Speaker 5: But I really believe, like when you cut it all down,
Speaker 5: it's one baby step in front of another baby step
Speaker 5: in front of another baby step, and you look up
Speaker 5: and like, how did I get here? It was a
Speaker 5: bunch of small moments that got you today. You say that,
Speaker 5: but then I don't.
Speaker 4: I don't think people necessarily care about that, right, because
Speaker 4: let's let's take one of the biggest things I think
Speaker 4: people have been talking about in the last week, right,
Speaker 4: Jada piot Smiths.
Speaker 1: Yeah, right.
Speaker 4: People have been talking about how she's so foul on
Speaker 4: Will and how she did this and how. But we
Speaker 4: always talk about tell your truth right, good, bad, and different.
Speaker 4: We don't know what happened in their relationship. Have nob
Speaker 4: the way your marriage is, the way my marriage is,
Speaker 4: the way their his marriages is not the way their
Speaker 4: marriage might be, So you we don't know, But people
Speaker 4: have been killing them and killing their relationship based on
Speaker 4: things that we don't know.
Speaker 3: When she was just sharing her.
Speaker 4: Truth because please believe, I'm sure there's somebody out there
Speaker 4: that's living a life just like them and now feels
Speaker 4: comfortable being able to talk about.
Speaker 5: It because she was able to talk about But but
Speaker 5: those are moments like, think about what y'all talked about
Speaker 5: a year ago compared to what y'all talk about today,
Speaker 5: compared to what you're gonna talk about next month. The
Speaker 5: truth of the matter is in the culture that we
Speaker 5: the feedback culture that we live in right now, everybody's
Speaker 5: just trying to say, what's gonna get them a happy
Speaker 5: meal off of the YouTube clips, right like, that's what
Speaker 5: everybody's trying to say right now. But the truth of
Speaker 5: the matter is the person that is in the situation,
Speaker 5: that's in the fire, is that fire actually purifying something
Speaker 5: out of you? Is that fire actually making you into something?
Speaker 5: Fire is not bad. It actually purifies the real and
Speaker 5: so most people, every piece of gold and jewelry had
Speaker 5: to be put against fire. The problem is when it's
Speaker 5: not authentically who you are, when it's not really what's
Speaker 5: in you, that stuff gets melted away and that's where
Speaker 5: people get exposed. That's where people like I was all
Speaker 5: about this and not all about this. When fire hit,
Speaker 5: it shows like that's not what you was really about.
Speaker 5: And so for me, I just think that too many people,
Speaker 5: especially black, especially black people, we do not face the
Speaker 5: damage that we went through.
Speaker 1: We run from it, we go away from it.
Speaker 5: We try to Gucci Louie down, we try to get
Speaker 5: out of the neighborhood. We try to but the truth
Speaker 5: of the matter is we're running from an insecurity at fifteen.
Speaker 2: Putting kon on dog shit.
Speaker 1: That's like that.
Speaker 5: I wouldn't say it like that, but because you said
Speaker 5: it like that, say amen, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5: But the truth of the matter is we're hoping people
Speaker 5: don't actually find out what it really is. And we're
Speaker 5: about to go into Thanksgiving, people going back to families
Speaker 5: they hate.
Speaker 1: We're going back into Christmas.
Speaker 5: People about to buy expensive stuff and going through debt
Speaker 5: for children that they don't know, but they keep Jordan's up, Like,
Speaker 5: just think about all the things, Like these kids don't
Speaker 5: even know who their real daddy is or who their
Speaker 5: actual family is. But instead of facing it, instead of
Speaker 5: going to counseling with our kids, instead of just saying
Speaker 5: I'm sorry, like we just gonna keep moving on up.
Speaker 5: We gonna keep buying new cars, we gonna keep getting
Speaker 5: new wigs, And I'm like, yo, something has to change.
Speaker 5: We have to deal with our damage. And I believe
Speaker 5: that God loves damaged people. Like you can't find nobody
Speaker 5: in the Bible, nobody in faith that wasn't jacked up.
Speaker 5: But God does his best work with damaged people. If
Speaker 5: you would just admit I'm damaged.
Speaker 4: How important is a support system right, because he came
Speaker 4: with your wife, charl Amazement, with his wife twenty five
Speaker 4: of him my wife. How important is that because a
Speaker 4: lot of times you hear people say I don't need that.
Speaker 3: I'm looking for a guy that's gonna make this much money.
Speaker 1: But that's done.
Speaker 3: They never talk about the heart.
Speaker 5: The truth of the matter is dumb. Yeah, it's dumb.
Speaker 5: Like I tell people all the time. I did a book.
Speaker 5: My first book was called Relationship Goals, and I have
Speaker 5: this whole chapter in the book about rip up your list,
Speaker 5: And I know people are gonna say whatever they're gonna
Speaker 5: say about they got.
Speaker 1: This list, you're still single.
Speaker 5: The truth of the matter is, like the truth of
Speaker 5: the matter is is a lot of times God never
Speaker 5: hands you a finished product. He hands you something you
Speaker 5: gotta work. And that's why Ike is one of the
Speaker 5: greatest furniture companies. No matter what you think about it
Speaker 5: is they give you something that you have to put
Speaker 5: your hands to, to a symbol, and it gives people
Speaker 5: another greater level of satisfaction because when they actually put
Speaker 5: their hands in to help make that thing happen, it
Speaker 5: feels like I've accomplished something. Relationship is the same way.
Speaker 5: God never TDJ says it. God never gives you a table,
Speaker 5: He gives you a true The same thing with the relationship,
Speaker 5: and so I think many times people need to rip
Speaker 5: up their lists and actually look for the things that
Speaker 5: are in the heart. You can't instagram integrity, you can't
Speaker 5: facebook faithfulness.
Speaker 1: And so look at my man he da da dah.
Speaker 5: The greatest things that have made me and my wife's
Speaker 5: relationship work, I cannot show you on a post. It
Speaker 5: has to be lived out, proved out, and over time.
Speaker 5: And so when you say support system, bro, that's what
Speaker 5: that is. Literally the only reason I'm here right now
Speaker 5: is because I got people who could see me at
Speaker 5: my worst and still think of me in my best
Speaker 5: situation to steal. Like while it still smells like that
Speaker 5: word that you said just the second ago, they still
Speaker 5: walking with me, and like, I'll actually I'll be with
Speaker 5: you because I know it's not gonna be like this.
Speaker 5: The whole time I tell people, community is everything. Having
Speaker 5: mentors is everything. Being around people that are further than
Speaker 5: you is everything. And if you're gonna deal with your damage,
Speaker 5: you need that because a lot of people do it
Speaker 5: in isolation, and COVID has really jacked up people. And
Speaker 5: when I say that, I'm not even talking from a
Speaker 5: health standpoint physically. I'm talking about a mental health standpoint,
Speaker 5: a spiritual health standpoint, a relational health standpoint. People went
Speaker 5: into their caves and started spectating on what everybody was doing,
Speaker 5: and it made them look out instead of looking.
Speaker 2: I agree with that, but I also feel like during COVID,
Speaker 2: a lot of people had to stop and see themselves
Speaker 2: for the first time.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and they didn't like what they saw, But then
Speaker 5: we went back outside. So it's one thing to see it,
Speaker 5: it's another thing to deal with it. It's one thing
Speaker 5: to see it, and it's another thing. I mean, vacations
Speaker 5: or or travel is gone up like a thousand percent
Speaker 5: because people are trying to escape, running from they running
Speaker 5: from themself, and the only person you cannot finess is
Speaker 5: you or.
Speaker 4: This significant other. A lot of people in COVID realized
Speaker 4: they didn't like their partner.
Speaker 1: They hated them.
Speaker 3: They hated their partner because you know, usually you think
Speaker 3: about it, you.
Speaker 4: Know, you work for eight nine hours and yeah, you
Speaker 4: come home for a couple hours and you only really
Speaker 4: see in your partner for a couple hours.
Speaker 1: But COVID exposed to everybody.
Speaker 5: And this is where I think for most of us,
Speaker 5: it's time to take our trauma and know that our
Speaker 5: trauma can go to triumph. Every horrible thing that ever
Speaker 5: happened to me, every trashy thing I did to myself,
Speaker 5: When I brought that to counseling, to my community, to
Speaker 5: christ it was like, oh, yeah, we can package that,
Speaker 5: we can move that, we could cut that. Oh you
Speaker 5: needed to learn that, and then it became the pain
Speaker 5: that built the platform. And I'm just trying to go first,
Speaker 5: specially in somebody who does what I do as a
Speaker 5: pastor or a leader. We usually stand on a platform
Speaker 5: and tell everybody, you know, you need to work on this,
Speaker 5: you can do this. And I was like, yeah, I'm
Speaker 5: gonna take a different approach. I'm gonna go do it.
Speaker 2: First.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to intensive therapy.
Speaker 5: Me and my wife gonna fly to Colorado for a
Speaker 5: whole year every month and spend five days in counseling
Speaker 5: for five hours. We're gonna, we're gon, We're gonna work work, oh,
Speaker 5: because what's not transformed is transfer. Everybody leaving an inheritance
Speaker 5: for their kids and money and cars.
Speaker 1: But they're leaving poor spiritual, emotional, and mental health.
Speaker 5: So what happens when you give a kid who's never
Speaker 5: been seen, who's never actually known their identity, and who
Speaker 5: has no self worth a million dollars?
Speaker 1: What do you think they're gonna do.
Speaker 5: They're gonna buy friends, They're gonna go out here and
Speaker 5: try to numb because they don't want to feel like
Speaker 5: I just think that we could do it better.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying be broke, I'm saying be rich everywhere.
Speaker 2: What was your breakthrough moment that invites you to be
Speaker 2: so vulnerable in this book.
Speaker 1: Bro I have a son, our second son. His name
Speaker 1: is MJ my namesake.
Speaker 5: He has autism, and me and my wife we're going
Speaker 5: through the height of our ministry and our business is
Speaker 5: growing and everything's exploding.
Speaker 1: My first book goes number one New York Times Bestseller.
Speaker 5: I barely graduated English class, Like, I'm in a shock.
Speaker 5: And then our only son, we take him to the
Speaker 5: doctor and they're like, yeah, he's not progressing normally. He's
Speaker 5: not talking, he's not looking anymore, and he was going
Speaker 5: the right way and then just something switched. And my
Speaker 5: motor has always been let me be greater let me
Speaker 5: be better, let me make more money, let me do this.
Speaker 5: And I tried to do everything I knew how to do,
Speaker 5: and it didn't fix nothing. Getting a bigger platform, writing
Speaker 5: another book, making more money, it didn't do anything. And
Speaker 5: so when my motor broke, it was like, what's going on.
Speaker 5: I'm watching my wife slip into depression. Nothing is working,
Speaker 5: and so I was like, hold on, we got to
Speaker 5: start working on this. I was sitting with my mentor,
Speaker 5: Tim Ross at a crackle barrel outside of Oklahoma City,
Speaker 5: and I was just telling him what I was going through,
Speaker 5: and we started thinking about back over my life and
Speaker 5: he said yeah. He was like, yeah, when did God's
Speaker 5: standard become lower than your standard? And I was like,
Speaker 5: what are you talking about. He was like, Michael, you've
Speaker 5: been telling me all this stuff. You want to make
Speaker 5: better and you want it.
Speaker 1: To be great.
Speaker 5: You keep using this word great, great, great, he said,
Speaker 5: But in the beginning, when God created the heavens and
Speaker 5: the earth, he looked at it and he said it's good.
Speaker 1: And then he created the stars.
Speaker 5: And he created the land and said you go right here,
Speaker 5: you go right here, created the animals. Going through the
Speaker 5: whole creation, he said it's good. Then he created man
Speaker 5: on the sixth day, and he said, you know what,
Speaker 5: that's very good. He said, if God's standard is good,
Speaker 5: why is yours great? And then he asked me this question.
Speaker 5: He said, when did you make a decision that good
Speaker 5: was not good enough? And immediately I went back to
Speaker 5: twelve years old when I'm in church. My parents raised
Speaker 5: us in church, and I played drums since I was young,
Speaker 5: and I would.
Speaker 1: Go at twelve years old to the choir rehearsal because my.
Speaker 5: Dream was to play in big church, like play with
Speaker 5: the big choir, like not the you for the junior.
Speaker 5: I wanted to play and I was good, and I
Speaker 5: would go every Tuesday, only twelve year old there and
Speaker 5: they would never let me play.
Speaker 1: They would tell me I was great.
Speaker 5: They would tell me that man, you getting so good
Speaker 5: and bingch my cheeks, take all the little stuff.
Speaker 1: But they would never let me play. They probably had
Speaker 1: a legitimate reason.
Speaker 5: But I remember sitting on that that maroon chair in
Speaker 5: the back and deciding, I guess good is not good enough.
Speaker 1: I will only be great. And what ended up happening
Speaker 1: from twelve.
Speaker 5: Years old to thirty five years old. I would not
Speaker 5: settle for anything good. And now I'm looking at my
Speaker 5: son and he's not good and I couldn't.
Speaker 1: I couldn't.
Speaker 5: I couldn't rationalize or reconcile what was going on in me.
Speaker 5: And God was like, You're gonna have to become okay
Speaker 5: with things being good. And I had to go and
Speaker 5: heal that twelve year old Michael to be able to
Speaker 5: even raise the thirty five year old Michael and raise
Speaker 5: his son. And Bro, I went on a journey Bro
Speaker 5: to like actually deal with the damage that was in me.
Speaker 1: And as I did that, it was what'd you say?
Speaker 5: My wife said. I couldn't fix her either. I couldn't
Speaker 5: even relate because there was so much stuff on the
Speaker 5: inside of me that I had just put success over,
Speaker 5: money over, put all this other stuff over. And it
Speaker 5: was kind of like, yeah, like we out here and man,
Speaker 5: because I went on this heeling journey because I spent
Speaker 5: the money. Everybody talking about investing property, You're the only
Speaker 5: thing that is priceless.
Speaker 2: Always invest in your mental wealth.
Speaker 5: I want you invest in yourself. You got Jay's you
Speaker 5: don't even wear for three years, you sending them in
Speaker 5: boxes and you won't even invest in dealing with why
Speaker 5: your daddy left you, and you you so broken over it,
Speaker 5: but you just can't even communicate to nobody. And now
Speaker 5: you're raising another generation that you're there present, but you're
Speaker 5: not there present emotionally.
Speaker 3: You have to start from some place you got us.
Speaker 5: But that's why I went first, DJ ANDV. This is
Speaker 5: why I wrote this book. This may not be my
Speaker 5: most popular book, but it's my most valuable book because
Speaker 5: if anybody actually reads this, if anybody actually like goes
Speaker 5: in it, they're gonna be like, dang, I can see myself,
Speaker 5: I can see where this could happen, and maybe I'll
Speaker 5: take the first step right, And that's all I'm trying
Speaker 5: to get somebody to do. Take a first step, Like,
Speaker 5: don't even freaking think about being this next version of yourself.
Speaker 1: Just take admit that you are still hurt from that
Speaker 1: first relationship, because you have been in seventeen other relationships.
Speaker 5: Acting like he ain't it, I ain't this, and like
Speaker 5: you're still hurt from oh boy.
Speaker 1: In two thousand and eight.
Speaker 2: Man, you know, that's exactly why I wrote my second book,
Speaker 2: Shook on Anxiety, playing tricks on me, And that's you know,
Speaker 2: it was me just talking about the things I had
Speaker 2: learned in therapy, but I had an actual psychiatrist, doctor
Speaker 2: ish major in the book with me because that's what
Speaker 2: I wanted. I wanted to admit that not only am
Speaker 2: I damaged, I wanted to talk about my traumas, but
Speaker 2: I wanted somebody to read that book and just take
Speaker 2: a first step.
Speaker 1: That's it.
Speaker 5: That's it, because the first step leads to the next step,
Speaker 5: and most of us have been so caught up on perfection, bro,
Speaker 5: that it is jacking your whole life up.
Speaker 1: It's progression. Somebody may lead to the next step.
Speaker 5: But if you just scutin, like if you barely like dang,
Speaker 5: I just listened to the podcast and I'm gonna go
Speaker 5: get the book, or I'm gonna just watch a message
Speaker 5: like or I'm gonna go get Charlot Mane, Like, just
Speaker 5: take a step because the end of the day, man,
Speaker 5: you're well being, who you really want to be is
Speaker 5: available to you.
Speaker 2: I love how you talk about you know how you
Speaker 2: need God and therapy?
Speaker 1: Yeah, bro, you know.
Speaker 2: How people feel like you can't have bocal They'll say
Speaker 2: things like you can't have faith in God. Faith and
Speaker 2: fear don't coexist.
Speaker 3: I don't I don't know.
Speaker 5: The first thing you gotta realize is the opposite of
Speaker 5: faith is not fear. The opposite of faith is love.
Speaker 5: The Bible says perfect love cast out all fear. The
Speaker 5: truth of the matter is, most people don't know how
Speaker 5: love they are by God, so that's where fear really
Speaker 5: comes from. But the truth of the matter for me is,
Speaker 5: I've been raised in church. I'm a pastor's kid, I've
Speaker 5: been around in my whole life, been at the altar, play,
Speaker 5: done all the other stuff. And I believe. Me and
Speaker 5: my wife believe in theology and therapy. We believe in
Speaker 5: prayer and going to a practice. We believe in worshiping
Speaker 5: and doing the hard work. Because the truth of the
Speaker 5: matter is, many times what happens at church, at.
Speaker 1: The altar, in your alone time with.
Speaker 5: God is a catalyst. It's supposed to start something. And
Speaker 5: for years, especially in the black church room, for many reasons,
Speaker 5: like maybe because we didn't have access to things, and
Speaker 5: maybe because we weren't taught about them, or maybe generationally
Speaker 5: there was a stigma on it. But we act like
Speaker 5: everything happened when they prayed.
Speaker 1: No no, no, no, no no no no.
Speaker 5: Everything started when they prayed and we're supposed to continue
Speaker 5: to pray. But there was some stuff that was in
Speaker 5: me that I had to communicate about. If you watch
Speaker 5: Jesus in the Bible, most of the miracles happened in communication.
Speaker 5: They weren't just like bow and then it's over. It
Speaker 5: was they were walking with him. He had disciples that
Speaker 5: walked with him like me and you sitting here that
Speaker 5: was still cutting people's ears off, still backstabbing, still doing stuff, But.
Speaker 1: It was a process.
Speaker 5: And I just think that church has to do a
Speaker 5: better job at letting people know that when you get saved,
Speaker 5: that's your spirit getting saved, but you still got this flesh,
Speaker 5: and you still got this soul, the mind, willing emotions,
Speaker 5: and it has to be continually worked on. It has
Speaker 5: to be continually transformed. And that's why I go to church,
Speaker 5: That's why I read my Bible. Because I can make
Speaker 5: a good decision today and be ready to go off
Speaker 5: on somebody tomorrow. I need to continually be in this
Speaker 5: process of becoming. The old folks would say sanctification, the
Speaker 5: process of being made holy.
Speaker 1: All I'm trying to do is be set apart. But
Speaker 1: it's a process to that.
Speaker 5: And I just think again, that's why I go back
Speaker 5: to progression not perfection.
Speaker 3: Men. That's your question, right, let's go.
Speaker 4: So my daughter was talking to the other day and
Speaker 4: she was talking about the Bible, right, yeah, and she
Speaker 4: was telling me that there was a lot of things
Speaker 4: in the Bible that wasn't understandable to her, right, meaning
Speaker 4: that she felt like the world crucifies you for certain
Speaker 4: things that are in the Bible, but for other things,
Speaker 4: they don't crucify you as much. So for her, she
Speaker 4: was having a hard time necessarily believing as much because
Speaker 4: she was like, it doesn't make sense. Yeah, and when
Speaker 4: a child says it doesn't make sense, she's putting two
Speaker 4: and two together. So what would you say to a
Speaker 4: child or young adult that's reading the Bible, even adult
Speaker 4: that's reading the Bible, and say, hey, when you talk
Speaker 4: about this in the Bible, it's kind of like it
Speaker 4: happens every day.
Speaker 3: But when you talk about this, it's.
Speaker 4: Like, oh my gosh, you can't do that. So what
Speaker 4: do you say on that effect?
Speaker 5: Number One, you cannot look at culture to be able
Speaker 5: to get what you need to get from the Bible.
Speaker 1: So that's the first.
Speaker 4: There's some things in the Bible that I cancel you
Speaker 4: forever do those jobs sponsors.
Speaker 3: But it's so in the Bible.
Speaker 1: So the truth of the matter is the spirit of
Speaker 1: the Bible is stronger than the word of the Bible,
Speaker 1: the letter of the Bible. And that's why I.
Speaker 5: Believe you have to have an actual relationship with God.
Speaker 5: Because the Bible is the only book that you read it.
Speaker 5: It'll start reading you, you'll read something like that, don't
Speaker 5: feel right, and the heart of it, I believe the
Speaker 5: spirit of God will speak to you, give you an
Speaker 5: impression on your heart, bring clarity, and I think think
Speaker 5: you should study to show yourself approved. There's tons of
Speaker 5: stuff in the Bible that I'd be like, dang, like whoa, okay,
Speaker 5: what do I do with that? Well, this is a
Speaker 5: different culture in a different time that all this stuff
Speaker 5: was happening. But behind everything that happens in the Bible,
Speaker 5: there's an idea, a spirit, and a meaning behind it,
Speaker 5: and it's finding that thing. What I would encourage your
Speaker 5: daughter to do is first not just start. There's some
Speaker 5: parts in the Bible that if you start there, you're
Speaker 5: gonna be confused for the rest of your life. Start
Speaker 5: with the Gospels, go to Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.
Speaker 5: Just learn about Jesus. He's the fulfillment of the whole Bible.
Speaker 5: So when you go to Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John
Speaker 5: and watch how he touched people, Watch how he loved people.
Speaker 5: Watch how when church people were telling him not to
Speaker 5: heal people, he was stepping out on days that he
Speaker 5: was not supposed to heal nobody and reaching beyond people's
Speaker 5: faults and seeing their needs.
Speaker 1: Learn the person of Jesus. That's what I would tell anybody.
Speaker 5: Don't go start in the Old Testament trying to figure
Speaker 5: out what all the sacrifices are in Leviticus and Deuteronomy.
Speaker 5: Just start because in the person of Jesus, he is
Speaker 5: the Word. And when that word comes to life in you.
Speaker 5: And then tell her to watch some of my messages.
Speaker 5: Tell her to check in with somebody who's done the
Speaker 5: studying and can break it down in another level.
Speaker 1: How does your daughter one twenty one?
Speaker 5: Tell her to go back and watch Relationship Goes by
Speaker 5: Mike Todd, Like, just send it to her, And I'm
Speaker 5: telling you there, sometimes it's harder to understand something when
Speaker 5: you approach it by yourself instead of approaching it with
Speaker 5: somebody who knows.
Speaker 1: How did your car work?
Speaker 5: All of us we go to our car and we
Speaker 5: probably y'all y'all rich, So y'all push a start button
Speaker 5: or don't even touch it and it comes on.
Speaker 1: You don't know all of the things that happened for
Speaker 1: that to happen.
Speaker 5: But if you get with a mechanic somebody who works
Speaker 5: with that, they'll be able to say, hey, this is
Speaker 5: how this happens.
Speaker 1: And you come with another understanding.
Speaker 5: So I believe that the Bible is something that you
Speaker 5: approach by yourself and you're alone time, but you can't
Speaker 5: stay there. I had to get people to help me
Speaker 5: understand that thing. And I think that's what I would
Speaker 5: tell your daughter.
Speaker 2: You know, I want to go back to the theology
Speaker 2: in therapy thing. I got a couple of questions about that.
Speaker 2: My good brother little Duval, he posted a few weeks ago.
Speaker 2: He put a lot of y'all going to therapy because
Speaker 2: you're avoiding God.
Speaker 1: No no, no, no no. I that may be his experience.
Speaker 5: I think a lot of people need to go to
Speaker 5: therapy because of what God has shown them, And a
Speaker 5: lot of times God shows you you in situations and
Speaker 5: I will agree. I'll say this, some people are going
Speaker 5: to therapy running from God, like I will say that,
Speaker 5: because they need to prove that they are working on something,
Speaker 5: and so going to therapy paying the thing not being
Speaker 5: checked in just going and sitting there for an hour
Speaker 5: that could make you feel good, like you check something off.
Speaker 1: But I do truly believe that we have.
Speaker 5: Been made by a creator and God has given people
Speaker 5: the ability to understand me and my wife had to
Speaker 5: do this thing called reprocessing. I don't know if everybody
Speaker 5: knows what that means, but like literally, you have to
Speaker 5: go to a situation, you have to think about that situation,
Speaker 5: and then you have to actually think about what you
Speaker 5: wish would have happened, how it could have been different.
Speaker 5: You got to retrain the pathways in your brain to
Speaker 5: be able to see here feel something different. And God
Speaker 5: made us that unique, and so I believe it's both.
Speaker 5: And I believe there are some people that will go
Speaker 5: to therapy running from God, and I think there's some
Speaker 5: people that go to God running from therapy.
Speaker 1: Do I think everybody needs therapy? Yes?
Speaker 5: The Bible says that there is wisdom in the multitude
Speaker 5: of counselors. I don't think that everybody just needs therapy
Speaker 5: for their emotional stuff. They need therapy for their finances.
Speaker 5: I got counselors for my finances. I got counselors from
Speaker 5: our relationship. I got counselors. If the Bible says there's
Speaker 5: wisdom in the multitude of counselors, like you need therapy
Speaker 5: and just how to respond sometimes to your kids, like
Speaker 5: I mean, we were all raised differently, but sometimes especially
Speaker 5: in our community, like the hand the embarrassing our kids,
Speaker 5: be rating our kids, A lot of that stuff is
Speaker 5: just because it happened to us, and we've never admitted
Speaker 5: how much that jacked us up. So then we try
Speaker 5: to do it to the next generation and see like
Speaker 5: and then and play it like it's good parenting. All
Speaker 5: I'm saying is maybe you need to talk to somebody,
Speaker 5: like maybe you actually need to communicate what being embarrassed
Speaker 5: in the grocery store actually did to you and why
Speaker 5: you all puffed up every time anybody tries to correct you.
Speaker 2: I think the issue with mental and spiritual therapy is
Speaker 2: if we could actually look at it the way we
Speaker 2: look at physical therapy, we'd have a different we'd have
Speaker 2: a different mindset. On it because my arm breaks, I
Speaker 2: know I need to go. My mom can pray over it. Yes,
Speaker 2: I can go to church and everything, but I still
Speaker 2: got to go to a doctor.
Speaker 5: And it's not that just like you get the surgery,
Speaker 5: but then after it heals, you have to do thing.
Speaker 5: Why because I'm trying to get it not just back
Speaker 5: to where it was. I'm trying to get it stronger
Speaker 5: than it was, like so that it doesn't And they
Speaker 5: tell you if it breaks in that place and you
Speaker 5: actually do the therapy, it's a very small chance.
Speaker 1: That'll ever break there. Again. It's not that nothing else
Speaker 1: will break.
Speaker 5: But because you broke it there, you were damaged, you
Speaker 5: did the work, you healed, and then you did the therapy,
Speaker 5: you actually don't even have to worry about that area
Speaker 5: no more. And I agree with you, Charlet Magne. That's
Speaker 5: the coldest thing I think I heard you say in
Speaker 5: a year, Like if people would view the emotional healing
Speaker 5: they need like a physical healing, everybody would do the work.
Speaker 4: But you know the problem is the problem is is
Speaker 4: like what you said before, it's learned behavior. Yes, sir,
Speaker 4: like most of our parents no didn't go to therapy.
Speaker 3: And if they did. Never told us hold like that
Speaker 3: was grown up business. We didn't know about it.
Speaker 1: To this day.
Speaker 5: I love my parents, but it still is a thing
Speaker 5: like you going to therapy, And again I haven't been able.
Speaker 5: I'm not a therapist to the nation her Mama, Ma, mama.
Speaker 5: As many times as we was telling them we were
Speaker 5: going to therapy, it almost seemed like a shot. It's
Speaker 5: a problem, what's wrong with you?
Speaker 3: Most people do.
Speaker 5: But the truth of the matter is both of our
Speaker 5: parents as well as many of our parents have had
Speaker 5: health issues. When they have to go get glasses, when
Speaker 5: they have to wear a boot, when they have to
Speaker 5: do anything to get back to the vision they were
Speaker 5: once at, nobody says anything. We spend money, we raise money,
Speaker 5: we use insurance, we do all of those things to
Speaker 5: get back to a place we were. Why wouldn't we
Speaker 5: since we've been damaged since five ten, seventeen twenty six,
Speaker 5: why wouldn't we do everything we can? And that's why
Speaker 5: when I wrote this book, I knew that I had
Speaker 5: to do something that most people, specifically in a pastoring role,
Speaker 5: a shepherd over people, or anybody that's doing this in
Speaker 5: twenty twenty three, that's too much ammunition for somebody to
Speaker 5: be able to discredit me.
Speaker 1: My freedom was more important.
Speaker 2: How do you know when to bring your pain to
Speaker 2: a therapist and when you bring your pain to God?
Speaker 5: I think you bring all your pain to God. I
Speaker 5: don't think the Bible says cast all your cares upon
Speaker 5: him because he cares for you. It says take on
Speaker 5: the easy yoke and the easy burden that he has
Speaker 5: traded him for that. I take everything to God. I
Speaker 5: acknowledge God in all my ways. He will direct my path.
Speaker 5: He directed my path to therapy. Bro wasn't I was
Speaker 5: the pastor. I was the crazy faith God. I was like, Yo,
Speaker 5: we're gonna pray, We're gonna believe. And God was like, no,
Speaker 5: you're gonna sit your butt down and talk to an
Speaker 5: old white lady.
Speaker 1: What like, let's just let's shout.
Speaker 5: And he was like, no, you need to cry, like
Speaker 5: I mean, I haven't cried. I can count on my
Speaker 5: hands how many times I have cried as a grown man.
Speaker 1: That's not okay.
Speaker 5: My body needs to relieve this STOs emotions and that stuff.
Speaker 5: But I had not been taught how to do that,
Speaker 5: and just how I needed to be taught how to
Speaker 5: drive taught how to run a business, taught how to
Speaker 5: actually be a husband. I needed to be taught how
Speaker 5: to be able to deal with my emotions. And it
Speaker 5: was almost like I was seeing in black and white.
Speaker 5: The reason the cover of the book is black and
Speaker 5: white is because that's why I was living.
Speaker 1: Even though I was smiling, it was black and white. Now,
Speaker 1: like how I live now, what God's done in my heart?
Speaker 5: Now, how I can love this woman now, the four
Speaker 5: kids that I'm raising, the people I can affect now, bro,
Speaker 5: it's three D HD color.
Speaker 1: And was it hard?
Speaker 2: Hell?
Speaker 5: Yes, Like it took a lot to keep showing up
Speaker 5: and to keep paying for it. Come on, let's be
Speaker 5: for real, Like when you start seeing that tax like
Speaker 5: you like, oh shoot, but was it worth it? I'm
Speaker 5: telling you right now it was the greatest investment that
Speaker 5: I've ever made in myself. And I couldn't keep it
Speaker 5: to myself. I could have wrote another book, I could
Speaker 5: have something, but God was like, Na, you need to
Speaker 5: you got to share this because there's more people who
Speaker 5: are damaged and they need to know they're not destroyed.
Speaker 2: What are untransferred wounds.
Speaker 5: It's the stuff that you said untransferred rooms, The truth
Speaker 5: of the matter is every wound that you get has
Speaker 5: the ability to transfer to somebody else in your actions
Speaker 5: or in your non actions. And that's why I said earlier,
Speaker 5: what's not transformed, its transferred. You got a lot of
Speaker 5: your mom and daddy and you that they didn't give
Speaker 5: you directly like they they gave it to you because
Speaker 5: you received it the way that you handle issues, the
Speaker 5: way that you go through stuff. We got a lot
Speaker 5: of stuff because they didn't handle it. I'll give a
Speaker 5: prime example. I tell it in the book. I had
Speaker 5: a pornography addiction. I mean jack the taking my money,
Speaker 5: my mind, my focus. Oh bro, Yeah, back in the day,
Speaker 5: you know when okay, come on now, don't act like
Speaker 5: you did in three ninety nine.
Speaker 1: Sometimes come on now.
Speaker 5: And if you was buying magazines or if you're doing
Speaker 5: any ofthing, come on, let's be honest. It was robbing
Speaker 5: me and the money was the least part of it. Well,
Speaker 5: I'm going through this whole thing by myself. I'm suffering, like,
Speaker 5: still trying to pray, still trying to love God, still
Speaker 5: trying to And if somebody's like the pastor, I tell
Speaker 5: it every Sunday, don't even trip like because we out here,
Speaker 5: every man is actually struggling with something. Okay, I'm out
Speaker 5: here addicted, trying to do what I've been called to do.
Speaker 5: After I actually start going through the process of healing
Speaker 5: and making decisions and making disciplines and being accountable and
Speaker 5: all this other stuff, I find out my dad he
Speaker 5: was a drum major for Gramlin State University.
Speaker 1: And he said, they came to New York. It's crazy.
Speaker 5: I'm in New York right now. They came to New York.
Speaker 5: And there was a street back in the day. Now,
Speaker 5: this back back in the day where they had peep
Speaker 5: shows down the whole street.
Speaker 3: That's forty second Street.
Speaker 1: Okay, so he knows the street, forty street.
Speaker 5: And he said, back in the day, they got here
Speaker 5: on the bus, and he said, he got a pocket
Speaker 5: full of quarters, and you could go and you could
Speaker 5: put the thing, the money in the machine, and then
Speaker 5: the curtain would open and you see naked women. Back
Speaker 5: in the day, that was the equivalent of pornography, he said.
Speaker 5: After I told him what I was going through, he said, Mike,
Speaker 5: I'm sorry, I'm sorry I never told you about it.
Speaker 5: I'm sorry I never dealt with it publicly. I'm sorry
Speaker 5: that I did this, he said, because I had five sons,
Speaker 5: and every single one of my brothers and me dealt
Speaker 5: with the sexual addiction because what was not transformed in
Speaker 5: him was transferred into us, and all of us had
Speaker 5: to deal with it in another level. And that's what
Speaker 5: he told me. So I don't know the extent of it.
Speaker 5: I don't know how it affected him and my mom.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 5: I mean, you know, when you're telling somebody something, at
Speaker 5: the end, it's like you tell him part you think
Speaker 5: they can handle. But I know there was real things
Speaker 5: there because now I'm a man raising four kids.
Speaker 2: How do you know you have a sexual addiction to
Speaker 2: a man? You're supposed to have a healthy sexual athect.
Speaker 5: Definitely, you're supposed to have a said, God gave it
Speaker 5: to you the truth of the man, women from the earth,
Speaker 5: women of God and of God. But God, all the
Speaker 5: greatest creation, Oh the best the creation. You see mine
Speaker 5: back there, glory to the most High God. The problem
Speaker 5: is the problem is our human nature is leans to
Speaker 5: over indulgence. I mean, I'm talking about just in a
Speaker 5: Krispy Kreme doumbn not. I mean, you don't even have
Speaker 5: to You're not even hungry. But if somebody puts some
Speaker 5: hot Krispy creams on the table and before you know it,
Speaker 5: six of them Jesus, like before you didn't even feel
Speaker 5: like it was and that and you're still not full.
Speaker 5: What happens when you eat what's going to go against
Speaker 5: what you need and you're still not fool.
Speaker 2: What if you pouring all of that into your woman?
Speaker 2: Beautiful with your wife beautiful? I think all of that
Speaker 2: is beautiful. There is nothing wrong with that. The truth
Speaker 2: of the matter is if you pour it all into
Speaker 2: your wife and you still need it from the people
Speaker 2: at your job, and you still need it from that
Speaker 2: app and you still need it, I'm not saying within
Speaker 2: the confines of marriage as well as from my belief
Speaker 2: in confines and marriage, nothing's off limits. But that y'all
Speaker 2: agree on the truth of the matter is people think
Speaker 2: that the addiction gets solved when they get married.
Speaker 1: It never does. So there's some trauma or some drama,
Speaker 1: or some.
Speaker 5: Triggers that actually need to be dealt with, and everybody
Speaker 5: thinks it's the person. That's The person's not the problem.
Speaker 5: It's what's in you that you have not addressed. And
Speaker 5: so that's why four marriages, five marriages? I don't want
Speaker 5: to be married no more? And you just swing your okay,
Speaker 5: do that. But after you've done it with everybody, you
Speaker 5: still feel empty.
Speaker 1: How have you fel out?
Speaker 5: Everybody made whole careers about it, sung about it, and
Speaker 5: at the end of the day you still feel empty.
Speaker 1: It can't be the sex.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like that's people who they trying to
Speaker 2: feed their ego and not they soul.
Speaker 5: But even if you're trying to feed your ego, where
Speaker 5: did that come from. Somebody didn't see you.
Speaker 1: You weren't affirmed.
Speaker 5: Somewhere, you got picked over, and it's like, nah, forget that.
Speaker 5: Everybody gonna see me now. And now I'm just saying
Speaker 5: that a lot of the things we clapped for as
Speaker 5: the fruit has a rotten root. Because for me, all
Speaker 5: the stuff that I was doing and being great at
Speaker 5: and doing what nobody else was doing in my small
Speaker 5: little community, like people were applauding me, I was getting
Speaker 5: attention for it. I was gonna be great. But the
Speaker 5: truth of the matter is the root of.
Speaker 1: It was foul.
Speaker 5: It was because I was not affirmed, I was not seen,
Speaker 5: and I was rejected And until I dealt with that.
Speaker 5: Everything I did, I was bro I had made more
Speaker 5: money than I had ever thought I was in. I
Speaker 5: was doing dreams. I couldn't feel it. I could not
Speaker 5: feel it because I haven't dealt with my real issue.
Speaker 5: And that's why I believe God many times brings you
Speaker 5: to a place where you have nothing else so that
Speaker 5: you can find everything. And too many people are running
Speaker 5: from that place. I actually believe everybody should hit rock
Speaker 5: bottom at least once. Whatever that is, hit it, because
Speaker 5: that's where you can fall apart. And when you fall apart,
Speaker 5: that's when God takes all the pieces and he makes
Speaker 5: a masterpiece. And so many people are trying their hardest
Speaker 5: not to fall apart.
Speaker 1: Just fall apart.
Speaker 5: God does his best work with pieces of people and
Speaker 5: then he creates masterpieces.
Speaker 2: Do you get counseling from the other pastes.
Speaker 1: Definitely. People have been in the game a lot longer
Speaker 1: than me.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Man.
Speaker 5: We had an awesome meeting for probably about five hours
Speaker 5: at a restaurant Tdj's.
Speaker 1: He's like the og of OG's.
Speaker 5: So we met and it was like in this secret
Speaker 5: building that was unmarked and we went.
Speaker 1: Up and like you hit the floor and it's like
Speaker 1: a restaurant. I'm like, where am I.
Speaker 5: Was like me and with the Godfather you understaying yeah,
Speaker 5: and I'm like, I'm like, what is going on?
Speaker 1: And that man just begin to pour into me.
Speaker 5: I love TD Jake's as just somebody who talks even
Speaker 5: more than preaching.
Speaker 1: If you ever get to just talk to him.
Speaker 5: It is like and that mentorship, mentorship from Tim Ross,
Speaker 5: mentorship from Robert Morris, mentorship from Stephen Ferdieck, mentorship from
Speaker 5: all Like, it's invaluable what you learn from people who've
Speaker 5: been damaged.
Speaker 2: Me and Stephen from the same hometown, no monks going
Speaker 2: to South Carolina.
Speaker 5: Bro, I just preached for him two weeks ago. Yeah,
Speaker 5: I'm preaching Charlotte two weeks ago and.
Speaker 2: My wife because I was already kicked out of school
Speaker 2: by then, but him and my wife went to high
Speaker 2: school together.
Speaker 1: Bro.
Speaker 5: It's it's it's it's invaluable what you can learn from
Speaker 5: somebody who will share from their damage. And that's what
Speaker 5: all of those men did. Like, if I think about
Speaker 5: it right now, like I'm thinking you call it mentoring,
Speaker 5: but all mentor mentoring it really is is people showing
Speaker 5: you where they messed up, where they should have done
Speaker 5: it differently, sharing from their damage and it helps push
Speaker 5: you into your desk.
Speaker 2: Was this after the spit incident?
Speaker 5: No, bro, that was before. Okay, I'm the spit hits
Speaker 5: the fan. That's what I call it.
Speaker 3: Break it down. People don't know. I know we reported
Speaker 3: a long time ago.
Speaker 2: It was smearing spin on your brother's fit. I don't
Speaker 2: even remember what it was. Now your point think about
Speaker 2: how that was back then, how everybody had you in
Speaker 2: the storm talking about I don't even remember what it.
Speaker 5: Yes, So I did an example at my church. I'm
Speaker 5: first off, let me say this. I am not a
Speaker 5: regular preacher, like when I say a regular preacher like
Speaker 5: I was bored in church, and so when God called
Speaker 5: me to preach, I was like, all right, I'm gonna
Speaker 5: actually use everything that I have to help people get it.
Speaker 5: And so I tell stories, I use examples, and honestly
Speaker 5: I'm doing everything how Virgil Ablo said for my seventeen
Speaker 5: year old self. Most seventeen year olds they don't care
Speaker 5: nothing about church. They're trying to see the girl with
Speaker 5: the booty and go eat and go play with it.
Speaker 5: So I'm trying to like capture. So I've always used
Speaker 5: examples and stuff like that. And so there's this story
Speaker 5: in the Bible where Jesus basically heals a man by
Speaker 5: spitting on his hand and putting on his face. And
Speaker 5: so this is an example I'd done three times before,
Speaker 5: and this is what my blood little brother. This is
Speaker 5: not some random audience member or anything like this.
Speaker 1: Now there is a.
Speaker 5: Brother we fought blood like, this is my little brother.
Speaker 5: And he wanted to do the example with me so
Speaker 5: I could show it. And the whole idea was, like,
Speaker 5: many people will not be willing to go through a
Speaker 5: messy process to get their healing. So the idea was
Speaker 5: this man was blind, he wasn't deaf. So if Jesus
Speaker 5: is about to spit, he's standing there in front of
Speaker 5: Jesus and he can hear, Like if you hear somebody
Speaker 5: about the Huckabu, you're like, oh my god. And I
Speaker 5: was trying to say, as disgusting as this is, that
Speaker 5: man stayed there and he received something that nobody else
Speaker 5: could give him. And as I was saying that, I said,
Speaker 5: maybe you the counseling would be messy for you, Maybe
Speaker 5: apologizing would be messing for you. Maybe downsizing your house
Speaker 5: would be messy for you after you've put on this
Speaker 5: whole thing about how God blessed you. But what if
Speaker 5: on the other side of this mess was your healing?
Speaker 5: And I did the example. It worked too well, and
Speaker 5: by that night we was on DMZ, CNN, next morning,
Speaker 5: Breakfast Club, all that other stuff, And it was somebody
Speaker 5: was saying to me the other day.
Speaker 1: There was like, do you wish it wouldn't have happened?
Speaker 5: I was like, honestly, no, I was like, it shocked me,
Speaker 5: but what I had to deal with internally and what
Speaker 5: I had to become okay with inside of me because
Speaker 5: of that situation.
Speaker 1: It made me into a man that I would have
Speaker 1: never met had it not happened.
Speaker 5: Go. I mean, for me, it changed my whole view
Speaker 5: of who I was called to reach and how much
Speaker 5: I needed anybody's applause.
Speaker 2: I was going The only reason I even bought it
Speaker 2: up because I felt like you was getting subbed a
Speaker 2: lot by other pastors.
Speaker 1: Yeah it was beautiful.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like a lot of other pastors was
Speaker 2: like trying to call you out, but not say your name.
Speaker 5: They don't got my cell phone number, they ain't text me,
Speaker 5: they just show up.
Speaker 1: And this is the beautiful thing about people. Like for many.
Speaker 5: Years it was up and to the right everything about
Speaker 5: what we were doing. This was the first opportunity for
Speaker 5: somebody to take a hit, and some people tried.
Speaker 1: But when God calls you, you can't cancel somebody.
Speaker 2: And that's why I was That's why I asked you,
Speaker 2: you know, who's your mentorship, because I felt like it's
Speaker 2: good to know that there were other pastors who weren't saying, Oh,
Speaker 2: you're not gonna talk about the brother I'm.
Speaker 5: I had people who pulled up on me. I had
Speaker 5: people who put their arm around me. But that's what
Speaker 5: we're supposed to do. If you said, if you say
Speaker 5: you my brother, if you say you're my sister, if
Speaker 5: you say we down, that means nothing on the mountaintop.
Speaker 5: It only means something in the valley. And so I'm
Speaker 5: grateful for all the men and women and people who
Speaker 5: rode with us through that storm. Because if you're doing anything,
Speaker 5: anything of significance, you gonna have in moments, it don't
Speaker 5: matter who you are. And so we walked through it,
Speaker 5: and God has changed me in the process because I
Speaker 5: wasn't trying to combat anything. What is this exposing about
Speaker 5: me and thank god I was in therapy, thank God,
Speaker 5: I had community, thank God. And the crazy thing is
Speaker 5: I had finished writing this book, so it wasn't even
Speaker 5: gonna be in the book, and God was like, I'm
Speaker 5: gonna give you a live example of what this looks
Speaker 5: like to be damaged but not destroyed.
Speaker 1: So I had to go back and re edit the book.
Speaker 5: Chapter two or three is when the spit hits the fan,
Speaker 5: and I walked through how the whole situation because I'm
Speaker 5: gonna use everything.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna die empty.
Speaker 5: Man, if it happens to me and God can get
Speaker 5: glory out of it, I'm gonna use all of it.
Speaker 1: No, bro, if we're supposed.
Speaker 5: To be defined by our worst moments, then everybody's jacked up.
Speaker 5: But if we can take our worst moments give it
Speaker 5: to God, he can flip that thing and turn it
Speaker 5: into something beautiful.
Speaker 2: That's not about me, that's about him. That used to
Speaker 2: be what the world was about. I mean, I guess
Speaker 2: I still that is what the world is. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: can't let social media make me think.
Speaker 5: Of Well, the truth of the matter is, it just
Speaker 5: doesn't get as many clips, that's right, right.
Speaker 1: A few weeks before this.
Speaker 5: Our church has been a generous church to nonprofits organizations
Speaker 5: sex trafficking. I started in the hood of Tulsa, Oklahoma,
Speaker 5: where right up the street from where the Race Massacres
Speaker 5: happened in nineteen twenty one. Like, that's where my church was.
Speaker 5: And God somehow took that from a three hundred member
Speaker 5: church to a large church that's effecting the world. Well,
Speaker 5: part of that was I'm not gonna be a church
Speaker 5: that just has resources and we're not gonna really give
Speaker 5: Prior to the spit hitting the fan incident, Charllemagne, we
Speaker 5: gave away in one year eight million dollars with no
Speaker 5: strings attached. Wow, not one news report, not one clip.
Speaker 5: Our local news didn't even cover it. Did y'all put
Speaker 5: out a press release about that eight million dollars.
Speaker 1: We even took the three surviving.
Speaker 5: Now there's only two people who survived the Race Massacres massacres,
Speaker 5: and we brought them on Juneteenth. And because they've not
Speaker 5: received reparations from anybody, not Oklahoma, not not the government anything,
Speaker 5: we gave them each two hundred thousand dollars with no
Speaker 5: strings attending.
Speaker 1: I know, but the truth of.
Speaker 5: The matter is that's not what people desire to feed
Speaker 5: on hope, They desire to feed on people's failures, and
Speaker 5: so until we actually do the inner work.
Speaker 1: Why the question is why?
Speaker 5: Why does the Will and Jada thing make us feel
Speaker 5: better about us?
Speaker 2: Because our relationships with jacked, but we're not living them
Speaker 2: out alive like they step away from the bike.
Speaker 5: Why does potentially seeing somebody lose their money make you
Speaker 5: feel Why? It's because at the end of the day,
Speaker 5: there's something in you that is not satisfied, not fulfilled,
Speaker 5: and so seeing what happens with mag thee Stallion and
Speaker 5: Tory Lanez and seeing what happens with this pastor who falls,
Speaker 5: and seeing what happened, it just makes us temporarily not
Speaker 5: think about how we need to do some work. And
Speaker 5: that's why the Bible says, like before you pull that
Speaker 5: whole log out, that speckle out of your brother's eye,
Speaker 5: you need to get.
Speaker 1: That tree log out of your own.
Speaker 5: And right now, it's very easy not to even look
Speaker 5: at yourself, because I can look at everybody else.
Speaker 3: Man damaged.
Speaker 2: What do you hope people get from this book?
Speaker 3: Man?
Speaker 5: I believe that if you read this book and actually
Speaker 5: do the work that's in here, I tell people this
Speaker 5: all the time. It may not have been your fault
Speaker 5: what happened to you, but it is now your responsibility.
Speaker 1: It's time to do the work. And I'm just I'm just.
Speaker 5: Here to say I've had to do the work in
Speaker 5: front of people, like with one hundreds of thousand people's
Speaker 5: watching me, judging me all this stuff. You can do
Speaker 5: this work, no matter where you are, how much money
Speaker 5: you have, what your family thinks about it. You will
Speaker 5: become a different person that will be able to actually
Speaker 5: be a blessing to other people.
Speaker 1: The healed version of you.
Speaker 5: Is better than the version of you that you have
Speaker 5: right now, if you do the work, if you actually
Speaker 5: do it. Let me just say it like this. I
Speaker 5: dedicated this book to my great grandkids. In the dedication
Speaker 5: now my oldest daughter's ten, and I dedicated it because
Speaker 5: the Bible says a good man leaves.
Speaker 1: An inheritance for his children's children.
Speaker 5: And yes, I want to leave them houses, yes I
Speaker 5: want to leave them investments, but I want to leave
Speaker 5: them emotional health.
Speaker 1: I pray one day my grandson.
Speaker 5: Picks this book up and is able to say, my
Speaker 5: grandpapa dealt with his stuff, And I know I'm struggling
Speaker 5: right now because life be lifing and everybody's going to
Speaker 5: go through it. God be God, but God be God,
Speaker 5: and therapy be be therapy. And that's why let me
Speaker 5: show you. I don't know what camera I can look
Speaker 5: into right here, the back of the but it's a
Speaker 5: double cover. The front is me smiling, that's the triumph,
Speaker 5: But the back of it is me, my dad, my
Speaker 5: four brothers, and my son. This this is a picture
Speaker 5: of all of us. It looks like me, but it's
Speaker 5: all of us.
Speaker 1: Because your damage affects every person. You say you love it,
Speaker 1: So if you want to do the work, join me damage,
Speaker 1: but not.
Speaker 2: To sure if we can pass on generational uh you know, traumas,
Speaker 2: we can definitely pass on generational blessed bro.
Speaker 5: You just said it, and take it from blessing generational healing,
Speaker 5: like what happens if the greatest thing I could give
Speaker 5: to the next generation is how to deal with their issues? Absolutely, yeah, youse, Father,
Speaker 5: We just thank you for this opportunity to be here,
Speaker 5: to be in this moment, to be with you, for
Speaker 5: everybody listening, and with my four brothers in the room.
Speaker 5: I thank you Father that something was said here that
Speaker 5: sparks their faith to believe that you can help them
Speaker 5: deal with their damage. God, we got different relationships, different responsibilities,
Speaker 5: different pains, different hurts.
Speaker 1: But God, you know them all.
Speaker 5: I thank you that by faith, something is about to
Speaker 5: change on the inside of every person under the sound
Speaker 5: of my voice, bring back a moment, a memory of
Speaker 5: reason why they need to make this step. And I
Speaker 5: thank you that no matter what has happened to them,
Speaker 5: no matter how bad or how good, I thank you
Speaker 5: that you can take our trauma and you can turn
Speaker 5: it into triumph. You can take our pain and you
Speaker 5: can turn it into platform. Father, I thank you for
Speaker 5: all the people who are.
Speaker 1: Damaged but not destroyed. Bless them, is my prayer in
Speaker 1: Jesus name. We agree.
Speaker 4: Amen, Amen, ladies and gentlemen. Past to Mike time. We
Speaker 4: appreciate you, brother.
Speaker 5: Hey bro, we can make this maybe like a monthly thing.
Speaker 5: Let's make it happen. I appreciate y'all.
Speaker 3: It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning to ass up Earth
Speaker 3: in the morning.
Speaker 2: Breakfast Club
Speaker 1: MHM.