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Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning.

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Speaker 2: The Breakfast Club.

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Speaker 3: Morning, everybody, It's DJ n V Charlamagne the Guy.

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Speaker 4: We are the Breakfast Club. We got a special guest

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Speaker 4: in the building. Yes, indeed we have Pastor Mike Todd.

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Speaker 1: Welcome brother, what's going on? Family'all good?

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Speaker 5: Yes, man, I'm blessed. Man, I'm at the Breakfast Club

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Speaker 5: with y'all.

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Speaker 2: I'm blessed, black and holly favored.

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Speaker 5: You are definitely black, blessed and highly favored. It I

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Speaker 5: feel like all of us are blessed, black and hot.

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Speaker 5: Feels good.

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Speaker 2: Thank you for having me, Man, Happy to have you

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Speaker 2: new book, damage would not destroyed from trauma to triumph. Yes, sir,

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Speaker 2: powerful title. Bro.

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Speaker 5: It's my life and it's honestly, I believe a lot

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Speaker 5: of people's life that they don't share.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 5: You see everybody from people who've gone from the gutter

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Speaker 5: to this big platform, or people who've just made it

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Speaker 5: out of the hood or just made it from where

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Speaker 5: they thought they would never come, but then they shut

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Speaker 5: up and stopped telling the actual story about how they

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Speaker 5: got from where they were to where they are now.

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Speaker 2: I have a theory about that.

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Speaker 1: What is it?

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Speaker 2: I think the theory now, like I'm forty five years old,

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Speaker 2: so you look good. It so grown, thank you brother.

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Speaker 2: So growing up, you know, it was those stories of overcoming,

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Speaker 2: those stories of making mistakes and you know, becoming a

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Speaker 2: better person that we always gravitated towards that we learned from. Nowadays,

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Speaker 2: because of this soul called cancel culture, Yeah, nobody wants

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Speaker 2: to talk about the mistakes that they made. Yeah know,

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Speaker 2: nobody because they feel like they'll be judged for them

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Speaker 2: and crucified for them, which they probably.

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Speaker 1: Will, well, but it's temporary.

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Speaker 5: Like the truth of the matter is, because I'm a

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Speaker 5: person of faith, I believe the truth of the matter

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Speaker 5: is the we overcome by the blood of the Lamb.

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Speaker 5: That's what crisis them. But the words of our own testimony,

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Speaker 5: even if you don't believe what I believe, the truth

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Speaker 5: is when you see somebody else go through something and

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Speaker 5: you make it through it, it gives you courage, It

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Speaker 5: gives you hope, it gives you dang maybe I can

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Speaker 5: do that too. And a lot of people are robbing

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Speaker 5: other people of the fuel that they need to overcome

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Speaker 5: their actual situation because they scared. Number one and number

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Speaker 5: two is because they feel like, maybe my worst moment

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Speaker 5: defined me, but I found that my worst moment that's

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Speaker 5: who that's what made me. And so I just wanted

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Speaker 5: to come like completely clean, completely raw. I say, hot, humble, open,

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Speaker 5: and transparent, and I mean it takes also the power

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Speaker 5: out of what anybody can ever say about me.

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Speaker 2: I used to I believe you. I agree with everything

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Speaker 2: you say. I always say, live your truth, so nobody

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Speaker 2: can use your truth against you. Well, boy, they will.

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Speaker 1: Try, they'll try.

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Speaker 5: The truth of the matter is, but if it's real,

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Speaker 5: like when you cut it open and it's real and

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Speaker 5: you actually grew from it, and you actually learn from

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Speaker 5: the cheating, and you actually did the work and went

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Speaker 5: the therapy and you actually yeah, no, I did'bazzle that money,

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Speaker 5: but I'm not gonna do that and never again. And

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Speaker 5: I'm like, when you actually grow. I believe that this

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Speaker 5: life is about progression, not perfection. And on the GRAM

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Speaker 5: and in front of people, were always trying to present perfection.

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Speaker 5: But I really believe, like when you cut it all down,

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Speaker 5: it's one baby step in front of another baby step

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Speaker 5: in front of another baby step, and you look up

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Speaker 5: and like, how did I get here? It was a

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Speaker 5: bunch of small moments that got you today. You say that,

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Speaker 5: but then I don't.

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Speaker 4: I don't think people necessarily care about that, right, because

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Speaker 4: let's let's take one of the biggest things I think

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Speaker 4: people have been talking about in the last week, right,

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Speaker 4: Jada piot Smiths.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, right.

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Speaker 4: People have been talking about how she's so foul on

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Speaker 4: Will and how she did this and how. But we

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Speaker 4: always talk about tell your truth right, good, bad, and different.

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Speaker 4: We don't know what happened in their relationship. Have nob

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Speaker 4: the way your marriage is, the way my marriage is,

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Speaker 4: the way their his marriages is not the way their

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Speaker 4: marriage might be, So you we don't know, But people

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Speaker 4: have been killing them and killing their relationship based on

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Speaker 4: things that we don't know.

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Speaker 3: When she was just sharing her.

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Speaker 4: Truth because please believe, I'm sure there's somebody out there

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Speaker 4: that's living a life just like them and now feels

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Speaker 4: comfortable being able to talk about.

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Speaker 5: It because she was able to talk about But but

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Speaker 5: those are moments like, think about what y'all talked about

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Speaker 5: a year ago compared to what y'all talk about today,

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Speaker 5: compared to what you're gonna talk about next month. The

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Speaker 5: truth of the matter is in the culture that we

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Speaker 5: the feedback culture that we live in right now, everybody's

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Speaker 5: just trying to say, what's gonna get them a happy

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Speaker 5: meal off of the YouTube clips, right like, that's what

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Speaker 5: everybody's trying to say right now. But the truth of

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Speaker 5: the matter is the person that is in the situation,

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Speaker 5: that's in the fire, is that fire actually purifying something

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Speaker 5: out of you? Is that fire actually making you into something?

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Speaker 5: Fire is not bad. It actually purifies the real and

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Speaker 5: so most people, every piece of gold and jewelry had

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Speaker 5: to be put against fire. The problem is when it's

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Speaker 5: not authentically who you are, when it's not really what's

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Speaker 5: in you, that stuff gets melted away and that's where

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Speaker 5: people get exposed. That's where people like I was all

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Speaker 5: about this and not all about this. When fire hit,

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Speaker 5: it shows like that's not what you was really about.

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Speaker 5: And so for me, I just think that too many people,

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Speaker 5: especially black, especially black people, we do not face the

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Speaker 5: damage that we went through.

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Speaker 1: We run from it, we go away from it.

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Speaker 5: We try to Gucci Louie down, we try to get

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Speaker 5: out of the neighborhood. We try to but the truth

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Speaker 5: of the matter is we're running from an insecurity at fifteen.

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Speaker 2: Putting kon on dog shit.

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Speaker 1: That's like that.

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Speaker 5: I wouldn't say it like that, but because you said

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Speaker 5: it like that, say amen, you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 5: But the truth of the matter is we're hoping people

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Speaker 5: don't actually find out what it really is. And we're

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Speaker 5: about to go into Thanksgiving, people going back to families

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Speaker 5: they hate.

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Speaker 1: We're going back into Christmas.

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Speaker 5: People about to buy expensive stuff and going through debt

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Speaker 5: for children that they don't know, but they keep Jordan's up, Like,

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Speaker 5: just think about all the things, Like these kids don't

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Speaker 5: even know who their real daddy is or who their

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Speaker 5: actual family is. But instead of facing it, instead of

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Speaker 5: going to counseling with our kids, instead of just saying

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Speaker 5: I'm sorry, like we just gonna keep moving on up.

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Speaker 5: We gonna keep buying new cars, we gonna keep getting

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Speaker 5: new wigs, And I'm like, yo, something has to change.

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Speaker 5: We have to deal with our damage. And I believe

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Speaker 5: that God loves damaged people. Like you can't find nobody

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Speaker 5: in the Bible, nobody in faith that wasn't jacked up.

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Speaker 5: But God does his best work with damaged people. If

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Speaker 5: you would just admit I'm damaged.

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Speaker 4: How important is a support system right, because he came

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Speaker 4: with your wife, charl Amazement, with his wife twenty five

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Speaker 4: of him my wife. How important is that because a

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Speaker 4: lot of times you hear people say I don't need that.

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Speaker 3: I'm looking for a guy that's gonna make this much money.

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Speaker 1: But that's done.

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Speaker 3: They never talk about the heart.

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Speaker 5: The truth of the matter is dumb. Yeah, it's dumb.

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Speaker 5: Like I tell people all the time. I did a book.

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Speaker 5: My first book was called Relationship Goals, and I have

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Speaker 5: this whole chapter in the book about rip up your list,

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Speaker 5: And I know people are gonna say whatever they're gonna

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Speaker 5: say about they got.

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Speaker 1: This list, you're still single.

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Speaker 5: The truth of the matter is, like the truth of

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Speaker 5: the matter is is a lot of times God never

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Speaker 5: hands you a finished product. He hands you something you

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Speaker 5: gotta work. And that's why Ike is one of the

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Speaker 5: greatest furniture companies. No matter what you think about it

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Speaker 5: is they give you something that you have to put

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Speaker 5: your hands to, to a symbol, and it gives people

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Speaker 5: another greater level of satisfaction because when they actually put

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Speaker 5: their hands in to help make that thing happen, it

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Speaker 5: feels like I've accomplished something. Relationship is the same way.

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Speaker 5: God never TDJ says it. God never gives you a table,

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Speaker 5: He gives you a true The same thing with the relationship,

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Speaker 5: and so I think many times people need to rip

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Speaker 5: up their lists and actually look for the things that

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Speaker 5: are in the heart. You can't instagram integrity, you can't

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Speaker 5: facebook faithfulness.

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Speaker 1: And so look at my man he da da dah.

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Speaker 5: The greatest things that have made me and my wife's

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Speaker 5: relationship work, I cannot show you on a post. It

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Speaker 5: has to be lived out, proved out, and over time.

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Speaker 5: And so when you say support system, bro, that's what

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Speaker 5: that is. Literally the only reason I'm here right now

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Speaker 5: is because I got people who could see me at

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Speaker 5: my worst and still think of me in my best

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Speaker 5: situation to steal. Like while it still smells like that

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Speaker 5: word that you said just the second ago, they still

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Speaker 5: walking with me, and like, I'll actually I'll be with

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Speaker 5: you because I know it's not gonna be like this.

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Speaker 5: The whole time I tell people, community is everything. Having

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Speaker 5: mentors is everything. Being around people that are further than

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Speaker 5: you is everything. And if you're gonna deal with your damage,

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Speaker 5: you need that because a lot of people do it

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Speaker 5: in isolation, and COVID has really jacked up people. And

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Speaker 5: when I say that, I'm not even talking from a

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Speaker 5: health standpoint physically. I'm talking about a mental health standpoint,

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Speaker 5: a spiritual health standpoint, a relational health standpoint. People went

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Speaker 5: into their caves and started spectating on what everybody was doing,

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Speaker 5: and it made them look out instead of looking.

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Speaker 2: I agree with that, but I also feel like during COVID,

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Speaker 2: a lot of people had to stop and see themselves

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Speaker 2: for the first time.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, and they didn't like what they saw, But then

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Speaker 5: we went back outside. So it's one thing to see it,

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Speaker 5: it's another thing to deal with it. It's one thing

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Speaker 5: to see it, and it's another thing. I mean, vacations

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Speaker 5: or or travel is gone up like a thousand percent

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Speaker 5: because people are trying to escape, running from they running

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Speaker 5: from themself, and the only person you cannot finess is

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Speaker 5: you or.

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Speaker 4: This significant other. A lot of people in COVID realized

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Speaker 4: they didn't like their partner.

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Speaker 1: They hated them.

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Speaker 3: They hated their partner because you know, usually you think

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Speaker 3: about it, you.

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Speaker 4: Know, you work for eight nine hours and yeah, you

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Speaker 4: come home for a couple hours and you only really

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Speaker 4: see in your partner for a couple hours.

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Speaker 1: But COVID exposed to everybody.

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Speaker 5: And this is where I think for most of us,

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Speaker 5: it's time to take our trauma and know that our

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Speaker 5: trauma can go to triumph. Every horrible thing that ever

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Speaker 5: happened to me, every trashy thing I did to myself,

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Speaker 5: When I brought that to counseling, to my community, to

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Speaker 5: christ it was like, oh, yeah, we can package that,

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Speaker 5: we can move that, we could cut that. Oh you

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Speaker 5: needed to learn that, and then it became the pain

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Speaker 5: that built the platform. And I'm just trying to go first,

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Speaker 5: specially in somebody who does what I do as a

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Speaker 5: pastor or a leader. We usually stand on a platform

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Speaker 5: and tell everybody, you know, you need to work on this,

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Speaker 5: you can do this. And I was like, yeah, I'm

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Speaker 5: gonna take a different approach. I'm gonna go do it.

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Speaker 2: First.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to intensive therapy.

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Speaker 5: Me and my wife gonna fly to Colorado for a

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Speaker 5: whole year every month and spend five days in counseling

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Speaker 5: for five hours. We're gonna, we're gon, We're gonna work work, oh,

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Speaker 5: because what's not transformed is transfer. Everybody leaving an inheritance

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Speaker 5: for their kids and money and cars.

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Speaker 1: But they're leaving poor spiritual, emotional, and mental health.

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Speaker 5: So what happens when you give a kid who's never

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Speaker 5: been seen, who's never actually known their identity, and who

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Speaker 5: has no self worth a million dollars?

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Speaker 1: What do you think they're gonna do.

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Speaker 5: They're gonna buy friends, They're gonna go out here and

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Speaker 5: try to numb because they don't want to feel like

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Speaker 5: I just think that we could do it better.

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Speaker 1: I'm not saying be broke, I'm saying be rich everywhere.

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Speaker 2: What was your breakthrough moment that invites you to be

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Speaker 2: so vulnerable in this book.

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Speaker 1: Bro I have a son, our second son. His name

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Speaker 1: is MJ my namesake.

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Speaker 5: He has autism, and me and my wife we're going

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Speaker 5: through the height of our ministry and our business is

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Speaker 5: growing and everything's exploding.

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Speaker 1: My first book goes number one New York Times Bestseller.

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Speaker 5: I barely graduated English class, Like, I'm in a shock.

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Speaker 5: And then our only son, we take him to the

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Speaker 5: doctor and they're like, yeah, he's not progressing normally. He's

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Speaker 5: not talking, he's not looking anymore, and he was going

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Speaker 5: the right way and then just something switched. And my

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Speaker 5: motor has always been let me be greater let me

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Speaker 5: be better, let me make more money, let me do this.

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Speaker 5: And I tried to do everything I knew how to do,

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Speaker 5: and it didn't fix nothing. Getting a bigger platform, writing

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Speaker 5: another book, making more money, it didn't do anything. And

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Speaker 5: so when my motor broke, it was like, what's going on.

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Speaker 5: I'm watching my wife slip into depression. Nothing is working,

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Speaker 5: and so I was like, hold on, we got to

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Speaker 5: start working on this. I was sitting with my mentor,

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Speaker 5: Tim Ross at a crackle barrel outside of Oklahoma City,

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Speaker 5: and I was just telling him what I was going through,

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Speaker 5: and we started thinking about back over my life and

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Speaker 5: he said yeah. He was like, yeah, when did God's

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Speaker 5: standard become lower than your standard? And I was like,

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Speaker 5: what are you talking about. He was like, Michael, you've

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Speaker 5: been telling me all this stuff. You want to make

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Speaker 5: better and you want it.

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Speaker 1: To be great.

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Speaker 5: You keep using this word great, great, great, he said,

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Speaker 5: But in the beginning, when God created the heavens and

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Speaker 5: the earth, he looked at it and he said it's good.

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Speaker 1: And then he created the stars.

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Speaker 5: And he created the land and said you go right here,

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Speaker 5: you go right here, created the animals. Going through the

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Speaker 5: whole creation, he said it's good. Then he created man

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Speaker 5: on the sixth day, and he said, you know what,

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Speaker 5: that's very good. He said, if God's standard is good,

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Speaker 5: why is yours great? And then he asked me this question.

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Speaker 5: He said, when did you make a decision that good

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Speaker 5: was not good enough? And immediately I went back to

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Speaker 5: twelve years old when I'm in church. My parents raised

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Speaker 5: us in church, and I played drums since I was young,

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Speaker 5: and I would.

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Speaker 1: Go at twelve years old to the choir rehearsal because my.

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Speaker 5: Dream was to play in big church, like play with

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Speaker 5: the big choir, like not the you for the junior.

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Speaker 5: I wanted to play and I was good, and I

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Speaker 5: would go every Tuesday, only twelve year old there and

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Speaker 5: they would never let me play.

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Speaker 1: They would tell me I was great.

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Speaker 5: They would tell me that man, you getting so good

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Speaker 5: and bingch my cheeks, take all the little stuff.

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Speaker 1: But they would never let me play. They probably had

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Speaker 1: a legitimate reason.

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Speaker 5: But I remember sitting on that that maroon chair in

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Speaker 5: the back and deciding, I guess good is not good enough.

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Speaker 1: I will only be great. And what ended up happening

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Speaker 1: from twelve.

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Speaker 5: Years old to thirty five years old. I would not

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Speaker 5: settle for anything good. And now I'm looking at my

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Speaker 5: son and he's not good and I couldn't.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't.

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Speaker 5: I couldn't rationalize or reconcile what was going on in me.

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Speaker 5: And God was like, You're gonna have to become okay

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Speaker 5: with things being good. And I had to go and

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Speaker 5: heal that twelve year old Michael to be able to

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Speaker 5: even raise the thirty five year old Michael and raise

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Speaker 5: his son. And Bro, I went on a journey Bro

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Speaker 5: to like actually deal with the damage that was in me.

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Speaker 1: And as I did that, it was what'd you say?

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Speaker 5: My wife said. I couldn't fix her either. I couldn't

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Speaker 5: even relate because there was so much stuff on the

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Speaker 5: inside of me that I had just put success over,

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Speaker 5: money over, put all this other stuff over. And it

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Speaker 5: was kind of like, yeah, like we out here and man,

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Speaker 5: because I went on this heeling journey because I spent

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Speaker 5: the money. Everybody talking about investing property, You're the only

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Speaker 5: thing that is priceless.

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Speaker 2: Always invest in your mental wealth.

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Speaker 5: I want you invest in yourself. You got Jay's you

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Speaker 5: don't even wear for three years, you sending them in

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Speaker 5: boxes and you won't even invest in dealing with why

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Speaker 5: your daddy left you, and you you so broken over it,

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Speaker 5: but you just can't even communicate to nobody. And now

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Speaker 5: you're raising another generation that you're there present, but you're

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Speaker 5: not there present emotionally.

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Speaker 3: You have to start from some place you got us.

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Speaker 5: But that's why I went first, DJ ANDV. This is

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Speaker 5: why I wrote this book. This may not be my

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Speaker 5: most popular book, but it's my most valuable book because

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Speaker 5: if anybody actually reads this, if anybody actually like goes

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Speaker 5: in it, they're gonna be like, dang, I can see myself,

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Speaker 5: I can see where this could happen, and maybe I'll

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Speaker 5: take the first step right, And that's all I'm trying

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Speaker 5: to get somebody to do. Take a first step, Like,

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Speaker 5: don't even freaking think about being this next version of yourself.

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Speaker 1: Just take admit that you are still hurt from that

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Speaker 1: first relationship, because you have been in seventeen other relationships.

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Speaker 5: Acting like he ain't it, I ain't this, and like

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Speaker 5: you're still hurt from oh boy.

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Speaker 1: In two thousand and eight.

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Speaker 2: Man, you know, that's exactly why I wrote my second book,

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Speaker 2: Shook on Anxiety, playing tricks on me, And that's you know,

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Speaker 2: it was me just talking about the things I had

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Speaker 2: learned in therapy, but I had an actual psychiatrist, doctor

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Speaker 2: ish major in the book with me because that's what

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Speaker 2: I wanted. I wanted to admit that not only am

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Speaker 2: I damaged, I wanted to talk about my traumas, but

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Speaker 2: I wanted somebody to read that book and just take

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Speaker 2: a first step.

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Speaker 1: That's it.

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Speaker 5: That's it, because the first step leads to the next step,

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Speaker 5: and most of us have been so caught up on perfection, bro,

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Speaker 5: that it is jacking your whole life up.

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Speaker 1: It's progression. Somebody may lead to the next step.

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Speaker 5: But if you just scutin, like if you barely like dang,

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Speaker 5: I just listened to the podcast and I'm gonna go

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Speaker 5: get the book, or I'm gonna just watch a message

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Speaker 5: like or I'm gonna go get Charlot Mane, Like, just

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Speaker 5: take a step because the end of the day, man,

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Speaker 5: you're well being, who you really want to be is

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Speaker 5: available to you.

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Speaker 2: I love how you talk about you know how you

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Speaker 2: need God and therapy?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, bro, you know.

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Speaker 2: How people feel like you can't have bocal They'll say

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Speaker 2: things like you can't have faith in God. Faith and

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Speaker 2: fear don't coexist.

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Speaker 3: I don't I don't know.

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Speaker 5: The first thing you gotta realize is the opposite of

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Speaker 5: faith is not fear. The opposite of faith is love.

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Speaker 5: The Bible says perfect love cast out all fear. The

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Speaker 5: truth of the matter is, most people don't know how

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Speaker 5: love they are by God, so that's where fear really

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Speaker 5: comes from. But the truth of the matter for me is,

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Speaker 5: I've been raised in church. I'm a pastor's kid, I've

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Speaker 5: been around in my whole life, been at the altar, play,

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Speaker 5: done all the other stuff. And I believe. Me and

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Speaker 5: my wife believe in theology and therapy. We believe in

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Speaker 5: prayer and going to a practice. We believe in worshiping

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Speaker 5: and doing the hard work. Because the truth of the

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Speaker 5: matter is, many times what happens at church, at.

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Speaker 1: The altar, in your alone time with.

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Speaker 5: God is a catalyst. It's supposed to start something. And

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Speaker 5: for years, especially in the black church room, for many reasons,

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Speaker 5: like maybe because we didn't have access to things, and

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Speaker 5: maybe because we weren't taught about them, or maybe generationally

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Speaker 5: there was a stigma on it. But we act like

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Speaker 5: everything happened when they prayed.

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Speaker 1: No no, no, no, no no no no.

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Speaker 5: Everything started when they prayed and we're supposed to continue

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Speaker 5: to pray. But there was some stuff that was in

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Speaker 5: me that I had to communicate about. If you watch

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Speaker 5: Jesus in the Bible, most of the miracles happened in communication.

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Speaker 5: They weren't just like bow and then it's over. It

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Speaker 5: was they were walking with him. He had disciples that

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Speaker 5: walked with him like me and you sitting here that

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Speaker 5: was still cutting people's ears off, still backstabbing, still doing stuff, But.

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Speaker 1: It was a process.

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Speaker 5: And I just think that church has to do a

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Speaker 5: better job at letting people know that when you get saved,

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Speaker 5: that's your spirit getting saved, but you still got this flesh,

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Speaker 5: and you still got this soul, the mind, willing emotions,

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Speaker 5: and it has to be continually worked on. It has

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Speaker 5: to be continually transformed. And that's why I go to church,

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Speaker 5: That's why I read my Bible. Because I can make

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Speaker 5: a good decision today and be ready to go off

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Speaker 5: on somebody tomorrow. I need to continually be in this

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Speaker 5: process of becoming. The old folks would say sanctification, the

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Speaker 5: process of being made holy.

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Speaker 1: All I'm trying to do is be set apart. But

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Speaker 1: it's a process to that.

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Speaker 5: And I just think again, that's why I go back

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Speaker 5: to progression not perfection.

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Speaker 3: Men. That's your question, right, let's go.

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Speaker 4: So my daughter was talking to the other day and

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Speaker 4: she was talking about the Bible, right, yeah, and she

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Speaker 4: was telling me that there was a lot of things

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Speaker 4: in the Bible that wasn't understandable to her, right, meaning

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Speaker 4: that she felt like the world crucifies you for certain

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Speaker 4: things that are in the Bible, but for other things,

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Speaker 4: they don't crucify you as much. So for her, she

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Speaker 4: was having a hard time necessarily believing as much because

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Speaker 4: she was like, it doesn't make sense. Yeah, and when

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Speaker 4: a child says it doesn't make sense, she's putting two

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Speaker 4: and two together. So what would you say to a

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Speaker 4: child or young adult that's reading the Bible, even adult

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Speaker 4: that's reading the Bible, and say, hey, when you talk

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Speaker 4: about this in the Bible, it's kind of like it

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Speaker 4: happens every day.

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Speaker 3: But when you talk about this, it's.

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Speaker 4: Like, oh my gosh, you can't do that. So what

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Speaker 4: do you say on that effect?

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Speaker 5: Number One, you cannot look at culture to be able

440
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:30,639
Speaker 5: to get what you need to get from the Bible.

441
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:31,840
Speaker 1: So that's the first.

442
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:33,439
Speaker 4: There's some things in the Bible that I cancel you

443
00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:35,200
Speaker 4: forever do those jobs sponsors.

444
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:37,399
Speaker 3: But it's so in the Bible.

445
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,800
Speaker 1: So the truth of the matter is the spirit of

446
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:41,959
Speaker 1: the Bible is stronger than the word of the Bible,

447
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,120
Speaker 1: the letter of the Bible. And that's why I.

448
00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:46,960
Speaker 5: Believe you have to have an actual relationship with God.

449
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,840
Speaker 5: Because the Bible is the only book that you read it.

450
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:52,440
Speaker 5: It'll start reading you, you'll read something like that, don't

451
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:54,800
Speaker 5: feel right, and the heart of it, I believe the

452
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:57,520
Speaker 5: spirit of God will speak to you, give you an

453
00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:00,119
Speaker 5: impression on your heart, bring clarity, and I think think

454
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:03,000
Speaker 5: you should study to show yourself approved. There's tons of

455
00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:07,080
Speaker 5: stuff in the Bible that I'd be like, dang, like whoa, okay,

456
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:09,399
Speaker 5: what do I do with that? Well, this is a

457
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:11,760
Speaker 5: different culture in a different time that all this stuff

458
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:15,280
Speaker 5: was happening. But behind everything that happens in the Bible,

459
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,439
Speaker 5: there's an idea, a spirit, and a meaning behind it,

460
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,879
Speaker 5: and it's finding that thing. What I would encourage your

461
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,240
Speaker 5: daughter to do is first not just start. There's some

462
00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:25,639
Speaker 5: parts in the Bible that if you start there, you're

463
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:27,720
Speaker 5: gonna be confused for the rest of your life. Start

464
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:30,480
Speaker 5: with the Gospels, go to Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.

465
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:34,199
Speaker 5: Just learn about Jesus. He's the fulfillment of the whole Bible.

466
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:36,480
Speaker 5: So when you go to Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John

467
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:39,159
Speaker 5: and watch how he touched people, Watch how he loved people.

468
00:20:39,359 --> 00:20:42,040
Speaker 5: Watch how when church people were telling him not to

469
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,280
Speaker 5: heal people, he was stepping out on days that he

470
00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:47,640
Speaker 5: was not supposed to heal nobody and reaching beyond people's

471
00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:49,040
Speaker 5: faults and seeing their needs.

472
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:52,359
Speaker 1: Learn the person of Jesus. That's what I would tell anybody.

473
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,879
Speaker 5: Don't go start in the Old Testament trying to figure

474
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:59,359
Speaker 5: out what all the sacrifices are in Leviticus and Deuteronomy.

475
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:02,800
Speaker 5: Just start because in the person of Jesus, he is

476
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:05,960
Speaker 5: the Word. And when that word comes to life in you.

477
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,000
Speaker 5: And then tell her to watch some of my messages.

478
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,199
Speaker 5: Tell her to check in with somebody who's done the

479
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:12,760
Speaker 5: studying and can break it down in another level.

480
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,600
Speaker 1: How does your daughter one twenty one?

481
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:16,760
Speaker 5: Tell her to go back and watch Relationship Goes by

482
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,160
Speaker 5: Mike Todd, Like, just send it to her, And I'm

483
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:24,040
Speaker 5: telling you there, sometimes it's harder to understand something when

484
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:27,040
Speaker 5: you approach it by yourself instead of approaching it with

485
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:28,400
Speaker 5: somebody who knows.

486
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:29,600
Speaker 1: How did your car work?

487
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:32,159
Speaker 5: All of us we go to our car and we

488
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:34,760
Speaker 5: probably y'all y'all rich, So y'all push a start button

489
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:37,280
Speaker 5: or don't even touch it and it comes on.

490
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:40,480
Speaker 1: You don't know all of the things that happened for

491
00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:41,159
Speaker 1: that to happen.

492
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,879
Speaker 5: But if you get with a mechanic somebody who works

493
00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:46,560
Speaker 5: with that, they'll be able to say, hey, this is

494
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:47,320
Speaker 5: how this happens.

495
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,200
Speaker 1: And you come with another understanding.

496
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:51,520
Speaker 5: So I believe that the Bible is something that you

497
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:54,600
Speaker 5: approach by yourself and you're alone time, but you can't

498
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:56,520
Speaker 5: stay there. I had to get people to help me

499
00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:59,200
Speaker 5: understand that thing. And I think that's what I would

500
00:21:59,200 --> 00:21:59,760
Speaker 5: tell your daughter.

501
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,520
Speaker 2: You know, I want to go back to the theology

502
00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:04,439
Speaker 2: in therapy thing. I got a couple of questions about that.

503
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:08,200
Speaker 2: My good brother little Duval, he posted a few weeks ago.

504
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,680
Speaker 2: He put a lot of y'all going to therapy because

505
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:11,720
Speaker 2: you're avoiding God.

506
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:15,639
Speaker 1: No no, no, no no. I that may be his experience.

507
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,240
Speaker 5: I think a lot of people need to go to

508
00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:23,280
Speaker 5: therapy because of what God has shown them, And a

509
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:27,840
Speaker 5: lot of times God shows you you in situations and

510
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,480
Speaker 5: I will agree. I'll say this, some people are going

511
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:34,480
Speaker 5: to therapy running from God, like I will say that,

512
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:38,320
Speaker 5: because they need to prove that they are working on something,

513
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:41,160
Speaker 5: and so going to therapy paying the thing not being

514
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:43,560
Speaker 5: checked in just going and sitting there for an hour

515
00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:46,720
Speaker 5: that could make you feel good, like you check something off.

516
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:50,040
Speaker 1: But I do truly believe that we have.

517
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:53,720
Speaker 5: Been made by a creator and God has given people

518
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,280
Speaker 5: the ability to understand me and my wife had to

519
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:59,000
Speaker 5: do this thing called reprocessing. I don't know if everybody

520
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:02,080
Speaker 5: knows what that means, but like literally, you have to

521
00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:05,560
Speaker 5: go to a situation, you have to think about that situation,

522
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:08,199
Speaker 5: and then you have to actually think about what you

523
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:12,119
Speaker 5: wish would have happened, how it could have been different.

524
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:15,639
Speaker 5: You got to retrain the pathways in your brain to

525
00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:20,200
Speaker 5: be able to see here feel something different. And God

526
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:22,960
Speaker 5: made us that unique, and so I believe it's both.

527
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,760
Speaker 5: And I believe there are some people that will go

528
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:27,960
Speaker 5: to therapy running from God, and I think there's some

529
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:30,879
Speaker 5: people that go to God running from therapy.

530
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:33,399
Speaker 1: Do I think everybody needs therapy? Yes?

531
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:38,199
Speaker 5: The Bible says that there is wisdom in the multitude

532
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:42,359
Speaker 5: of counselors. I don't think that everybody just needs therapy

533
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:45,000
Speaker 5: for their emotional stuff. They need therapy for their finances.

534
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:48,919
Speaker 5: I got counselors for my finances. I got counselors from

535
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:51,520
Speaker 5: our relationship. I got counselors. If the Bible says there's

536
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:57,160
Speaker 5: wisdom in the multitude of counselors, like you need therapy

537
00:23:57,280 --> 00:24:00,879
Speaker 5: and just how to respond sometimes to your kids, like

538
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:05,120
Speaker 5: I mean, we were all raised differently, but sometimes especially

539
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:09,960
Speaker 5: in our community, like the hand the embarrassing our kids,

540
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,040
Speaker 5: be rating our kids, A lot of that stuff is

541
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:14,600
Speaker 5: just because it happened to us, and we've never admitted

542
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:16,480
Speaker 5: how much that jacked us up. So then we try

543
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:18,359
Speaker 5: to do it to the next generation and see like

544
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 5: and then and play it like it's good parenting. All

545
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:25,440
Speaker 5: I'm saying is maybe you need to talk to somebody,

546
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:30,640
Speaker 5: like maybe you actually need to communicate what being embarrassed

547
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:32,800
Speaker 5: in the grocery store actually did to you and why

548
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:35,639
Speaker 5: you all puffed up every time anybody tries to correct you.

549
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:39,280
Speaker 2: I think the issue with mental and spiritual therapy is

550
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:41,760
Speaker 2: if we could actually look at it the way we

551
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:44,080
Speaker 2: look at physical therapy, we'd have a different we'd have

552
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:46,720
Speaker 2: a different mindset. On it because my arm breaks, I

553
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:50,200
Speaker 2: know I need to go. My mom can pray over it. Yes,

554
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:51,520
Speaker 2: I can go to church and everything, but I still

555
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:52,280
Speaker 2: got to go to a doctor.

556
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:55,320
Speaker 5: And it's not that just like you get the surgery,

557
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:59,959
Speaker 5: but then after it heals, you have to do thing.

558
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:04,120
Speaker 5: Why because I'm trying to get it not just back

559
00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:06,719
Speaker 5: to where it was. I'm trying to get it stronger

560
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:09,720
Speaker 5: than it was, like so that it doesn't And they

561
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 5: tell you if it breaks in that place and you

562
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:15,680
Speaker 5: actually do the therapy, it's a very small chance.

563
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:18,480
Speaker 1: That'll ever break there. Again. It's not that nothing else

564
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:18,960
Speaker 1: will break.

565
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:23,080
Speaker 5: But because you broke it there, you were damaged, you

566
00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 5: did the work, you healed, and then you did the therapy,

567
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:29,000
Speaker 5: you actually don't even have to worry about that area

568
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:32,760
Speaker 5: no more. And I agree with you, Charlet Magne. That's

569
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:34,600
Speaker 5: the coldest thing I think I heard you say in

570
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:39,760
Speaker 5: a year, Like if people would view the emotional healing

571
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:44,040
Speaker 5: they need like a physical healing, everybody would do the work.

572
00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:45,600
Speaker 4: But you know the problem is the problem is is

573
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:47,879
Speaker 4: like what you said before, it's learned behavior. Yes, sir,

574
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:51,240
Speaker 4: like most of our parents no didn't go to therapy.

575
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:53,040
Speaker 3: And if they did. Never told us hold like that

576
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:54,960
Speaker 3: was grown up business. We didn't know about it.

577
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:56,440
Speaker 1: To this day.

578
00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:59,400
Speaker 5: I love my parents, but it still is a thing

579
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:03,640
Speaker 5: like you going to therapy, And again I haven't been able.

580
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:06,920
Speaker 5: I'm not a therapist to the nation her Mama, Ma, mama.

581
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:08,639
Speaker 5: As many times as we was telling them we were

582
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:11,679
Speaker 5: going to therapy, it almost seemed like a shot. It's

583
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:14,320
Speaker 5: a problem, what's wrong with you?

584
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 3: Most people do.

585
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:17,760
Speaker 5: But the truth of the matter is both of our

586
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:19,719
Speaker 5: parents as well as many of our parents have had

587
00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:22,840
Speaker 5: health issues. When they have to go get glasses, when

588
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:24,280
Speaker 5: they have to wear a boot, when they have to

589
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:26,600
Speaker 5: do anything to get back to the vision they were

590
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:31,040
Speaker 5: once at, nobody says anything. We spend money, we raise money,

591
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,520
Speaker 5: we use insurance, we do all of those things to

592
00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:35,960
Speaker 5: get back to a place we were. Why wouldn't we

593
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:41,160
Speaker 5: since we've been damaged since five ten, seventeen twenty six,

594
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:44,280
Speaker 5: why wouldn't we do everything we can? And that's why

595
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:47,840
Speaker 5: when I wrote this book, I knew that I had

596
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:52,600
Speaker 5: to do something that most people, specifically in a pastoring role,

597
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:56,760
Speaker 5: a shepherd over people, or anybody that's doing this in

598
00:26:56,800 --> 00:27:01,199
Speaker 5: twenty twenty three, that's too much ammunition for somebody to

599
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:03,040
Speaker 5: be able to discredit me.

600
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:04,800
Speaker 1: My freedom was more important.

601
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,320
Speaker 2: How do you know when to bring your pain to

602
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:11,280
Speaker 2: a therapist and when you bring your pain to God?

603
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:14,760
Speaker 5: I think you bring all your pain to God. I

604
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:18,080
Speaker 5: don't think the Bible says cast all your cares upon

605
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:20,720
Speaker 5: him because he cares for you. It says take on

606
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:24,400
Speaker 5: the easy yoke and the easy burden that he has

607
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:27,399
Speaker 5: traded him for that. I take everything to God. I

608
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:30,160
Speaker 5: acknowledge God in all my ways. He will direct my path.

609
00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:33,199
Speaker 5: He directed my path to therapy. Bro wasn't I was

610
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:35,600
Speaker 5: the pastor. I was the crazy faith God. I was like, Yo,

611
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:37,639
Speaker 5: we're gonna pray, We're gonna believe. And God was like, no,

612
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:39,040
Speaker 5: you're gonna sit your butt down and talk to an

613
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:39,680
Speaker 5: old white lady.

614
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:43,280
Speaker 1: What like, let's just let's shout.

615
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:46,119
Speaker 5: And he was like, no, you need to cry, like

616
00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:51,720
Speaker 5: I mean, I haven't cried. I can count on my

617
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:55,680
Speaker 5: hands how many times I have cried as a grown man.

618
00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:57,359
Speaker 1: That's not okay.

619
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:02,199
Speaker 5: My body needs to relieve this STOs emotions and that stuff.

620
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:04,080
Speaker 5: But I had not been taught how to do that,

621
00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:06,399
Speaker 5: and just how I needed to be taught how to

622
00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:10,040
Speaker 5: drive taught how to run a business, taught how to

623
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:13,280
Speaker 5: actually be a husband. I needed to be taught how

624
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:16,240
Speaker 5: to be able to deal with my emotions. And it

625
00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:18,720
Speaker 5: was almost like I was seeing in black and white.

626
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:20,879
Speaker 5: The reason the cover of the book is black and

627
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:22,320
Speaker 5: white is because that's why I was living.

628
00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:26,159
Speaker 1: Even though I was smiling, it was black and white. Now,

629
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:30,120
Speaker 1: like how I live now, what God's done in my heart?

630
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:32,280
Speaker 5: Now, how I can love this woman now, the four

631
00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:35,200
Speaker 5: kids that I'm raising, the people I can affect now, bro,

632
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:37,200
Speaker 5: it's three D HD color.

633
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 1: And was it hard?

634
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:39,200
Speaker 2: Hell?

635
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:42,880
Speaker 5: Yes, Like it took a lot to keep showing up

636
00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:44,760
Speaker 5: and to keep paying for it. Come on, let's be

637
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:47,600
Speaker 5: for real, Like when you start seeing that tax like

638
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:51,560
Speaker 5: you like, oh shoot, but was it worth it? I'm

639
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 5: telling you right now it was the greatest investment that

640
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:58,040
Speaker 5: I've ever made in myself. And I couldn't keep it

641
00:28:58,080 --> 00:28:59,840
Speaker 5: to myself. I could have wrote another book, I could

642
00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:02,000
Speaker 5: have something, but God was like, Na, you need to

643
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:04,320
Speaker 5: you got to share this because there's more people who

644
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:06,560
Speaker 5: are damaged and they need to know they're not destroyed.

645
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:08,480
Speaker 2: What are untransferred wounds.

646
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:17,000
Speaker 5: It's the stuff that you said untransferred rooms, The truth

647
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:21,400
Speaker 5: of the matter is every wound that you get has

648
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:25,200
Speaker 5: the ability to transfer to somebody else in your actions

649
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 5: or in your non actions. And that's why I said earlier,

650
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 5: what's not transformed, its transferred. You got a lot of

651
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:35,560
Speaker 5: your mom and daddy and you that they didn't give

652
00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:40,640
Speaker 5: you directly like they they gave it to you because

653
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:44,000
Speaker 5: you received it the way that you handle issues, the

654
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 5: way that you go through stuff. We got a lot

655
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:49,360
Speaker 5: of stuff because they didn't handle it. I'll give a

656
00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:51,600
Speaker 5: prime example. I tell it in the book. I had

657
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 5: a pornography addiction. I mean jack the taking my money,

658
00:29:56,080 --> 00:30:01,280
Speaker 5: my mind, my focus. Oh bro, Yeah, back in the day,

659
00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:03,640
Speaker 5: you know when okay, come on now, don't act like

660
00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:05,160
Speaker 5: you did in three ninety nine.

661
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:06,320
Speaker 1: Sometimes come on now.

662
00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 5: And if you was buying magazines or if you're doing

663
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 5: any ofthing, come on, let's be honest. It was robbing

664
00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:14,000
Speaker 5: me and the money was the least part of it. Well,

665
00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:17,680
Speaker 5: I'm going through this whole thing by myself. I'm suffering, like,

666
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:20,600
Speaker 5: still trying to pray, still trying to love God, still

667
00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 5: trying to And if somebody's like the pastor, I tell

668
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:25,240
Speaker 5: it every Sunday, don't even trip like because we out here,

669
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 5: every man is actually struggling with something. Okay, I'm out

670
00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:33,840
Speaker 5: here addicted, trying to do what I've been called to do.

671
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:38,000
Speaker 5: After I actually start going through the process of healing

672
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 5: and making decisions and making disciplines and being accountable and

673
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:43,600
Speaker 5: all this other stuff, I find out my dad he

674
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:45,960
Speaker 5: was a drum major for Gramlin State University.

675
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:49,720
Speaker 1: And he said, they came to New York. It's crazy.

676
00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:51,680
Speaker 5: I'm in New York right now. They came to New York.

677
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 5: And there was a street back in the day. Now,

678
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:56,560
Speaker 5: this back back in the day where they had peep

679
00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:57,640
Speaker 5: shows down the whole street.

680
00:30:57,680 --> 00:30:58,680
Speaker 3: That's forty second Street.

681
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:01,760
Speaker 1: Okay, so he knows the street, forty street.

682
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:05,240
Speaker 5: And he said, back in the day, they got here

683
00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:08,280
Speaker 5: on the bus, and he said, he got a pocket

684
00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:10,880
Speaker 5: full of quarters, and you could go and you could

685
00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:14,959
Speaker 5: put the thing, the money in the machine, and then

686
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:17,360
Speaker 5: the curtain would open and you see naked women. Back

687
00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:22,760
Speaker 5: in the day, that was the equivalent of pornography, he said.

688
00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:25,240
Speaker 5: After I told him what I was going through, he said, Mike,

689
00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:28,240
Speaker 5: I'm sorry, I'm sorry I never told you about it.

690
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:32,200
Speaker 5: I'm sorry I never dealt with it publicly. I'm sorry

691
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:36,040
Speaker 5: that I did this, he said, because I had five sons,

692
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:40,320
Speaker 5: and every single one of my brothers and me dealt

693
00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:44,840
Speaker 5: with the sexual addiction because what was not transformed in

694
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:50,320
Speaker 5: him was transferred into us, and all of us had

695
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:52,040
Speaker 5: to deal with it in another level. And that's what

696
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 5: he told me. So I don't know the extent of it.

697
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:56,240
Speaker 5: I don't know how it affected him and my mom.

698
00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 1: I don't know.

699
00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:58,760
Speaker 5: I mean, you know, when you're telling somebody something, at

700
00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:00,520
Speaker 5: the end, it's like you tell him part you think

701
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:02,720
Speaker 5: they can handle. But I know there was real things

702
00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:04,480
Speaker 5: there because now I'm a man raising four kids.

703
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 2: How do you know you have a sexual addiction to

704
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:09,240
Speaker 2: a man? You're supposed to have a healthy sexual athect.

705
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 5: Definitely, you're supposed to have a said, God gave it

706
00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:13,720
Speaker 5: to you the truth of the man, women from the earth,

707
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:16,200
Speaker 5: women of God and of God. But God, all the

708
00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:19,520
Speaker 5: greatest creation, Oh the best the creation. You see mine

709
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:22,560
Speaker 5: back there, glory to the most High God. The problem

710
00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:30,680
Speaker 5: is the problem is our human nature is leans to

711
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:34,400
Speaker 5: over indulgence. I mean, I'm talking about just in a

712
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:37,320
Speaker 5: Krispy Kreme doumbn not. I mean, you don't even have

713
00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 5: to You're not even hungry. But if somebody puts some

714
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:44,560
Speaker 5: hot Krispy creams on the table and before you know it,

715
00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 5: six of them Jesus, like before you didn't even feel

716
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:50,800
Speaker 5: like it was and that and you're still not full.

717
00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:54,920
Speaker 5: What happens when you eat what's going to go against

718
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:57,200
Speaker 5: what you need and you're still not fool.

719
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:59,400
Speaker 2: What if you pouring all of that into your woman?

720
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:03,040
Speaker 2: Beautiful with your wife beautiful? I think all of that

721
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:05,840
Speaker 2: is beautiful. There is nothing wrong with that. The truth

722
00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:07,240
Speaker 2: of the matter is if you pour it all into

723
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:09,560
Speaker 2: your wife and you still need it from the people

724
00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:12,160
Speaker 2: at your job, and you still need it from that

725
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:18,200
Speaker 2: app and you still need it, I'm not saying within

726
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:22,280
Speaker 2: the confines of marriage as well as from my belief

727
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:25,440
Speaker 2: in confines and marriage, nothing's off limits. But that y'all

728
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:29,200
Speaker 2: agree on the truth of the matter is people think

729
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:31,680
Speaker 2: that the addiction gets solved when they get married.

730
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:36,560
Speaker 1: It never does. So there's some trauma or some drama,

731
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:37,560
Speaker 1: or some.

732
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:40,160
Speaker 5: Triggers that actually need to be dealt with, and everybody

733
00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:43,440
Speaker 5: thinks it's the person. That's The person's not the problem.

734
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:46,960
Speaker 5: It's what's in you that you have not addressed. And

735
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 5: so that's why four marriages, five marriages? I don't want

736
00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:52,200
Speaker 5: to be married no more? And you just swing your okay,

737
00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:56,520
Speaker 5: do that. But after you've done it with everybody, you

738
00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:59,000
Speaker 5: still feel empty.

739
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:00,480
Speaker 1: How have you fel out?

740
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:04,360
Speaker 5: Everybody made whole careers about it, sung about it, and

741
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:07,479
Speaker 5: at the end of the day you still feel empty.

742
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:08,560
Speaker 1: It can't be the sex.

743
00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:10,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like that's people who they trying to

744
00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:12,200
Speaker 2: feed their ego and not they soul.

745
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:14,200
Speaker 5: But even if you're trying to feed your ego, where

746
00:34:14,239 --> 00:34:16,720
Speaker 5: did that come from. Somebody didn't see you.

747
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:17,600
Speaker 1: You weren't affirmed.

748
00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:22,160
Speaker 5: Somewhere, you got picked over, and it's like, nah, forget that.

749
00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:25,680
Speaker 5: Everybody gonna see me now. And now I'm just saying

750
00:34:25,680 --> 00:34:27,759
Speaker 5: that a lot of the things we clapped for as

751
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:33,520
Speaker 5: the fruit has a rotten root. Because for me, all

752
00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:36,759
Speaker 5: the stuff that I was doing and being great at

753
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:39,440
Speaker 5: and doing what nobody else was doing in my small

754
00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:42,560
Speaker 5: little community, like people were applauding me, I was getting

755
00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:45,239
Speaker 5: attention for it. I was gonna be great. But the

756
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:47,200
Speaker 5: truth of the matter is the root of.

757
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:48,160
Speaker 1: It was foul.

758
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:52,000
Speaker 5: It was because I was not affirmed, I was not seen,

759
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 5: and I was rejected And until I dealt with that.

760
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:58,000
Speaker 5: Everything I did, I was bro I had made more

761
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:00,880
Speaker 5: money than I had ever thought I was in. I

762
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:04,000
Speaker 5: was doing dreams. I couldn't feel it. I could not

763
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:07,839
Speaker 5: feel it because I haven't dealt with my real issue.

764
00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:11,160
Speaker 5: And that's why I believe God many times brings you

765
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:13,880
Speaker 5: to a place where you have nothing else so that

766
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:17,800
Speaker 5: you can find everything. And too many people are running

767
00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:21,799
Speaker 5: from that place. I actually believe everybody should hit rock

768
00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:25,720
Speaker 5: bottom at least once. Whatever that is, hit it, because

769
00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:28,280
Speaker 5: that's where you can fall apart. And when you fall apart,

770
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:30,719
Speaker 5: that's when God takes all the pieces and he makes

771
00:35:30,719 --> 00:35:34,240
Speaker 5: a masterpiece. And so many people are trying their hardest

772
00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 5: not to fall apart.

773
00:35:35,719 --> 00:35:36,560
Speaker 1: Just fall apart.

774
00:35:37,040 --> 00:35:40,080
Speaker 5: God does his best work with pieces of people and

775
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:41,480
Speaker 5: then he creates masterpieces.

776
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:45,000
Speaker 2: Do you get counseling from the other pastes.

777
00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:47,200
Speaker 1: Definitely. People have been in the game a lot longer

778
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:47,400
Speaker 1: than me.

779
00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:48,839
Speaker 3: Yeah.

780
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:49,040
Speaker 1: Man.

781
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 5: We had an awesome meeting for probably about five hours

782
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:54,800
Speaker 5: at a restaurant Tdj's.

783
00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:56,920
Speaker 1: He's like the og of OG's.

784
00:35:58,040 --> 00:36:01,840
Speaker 5: So we met and it was like in this secret

785
00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:04,280
Speaker 5: building that was unmarked and we went.

786
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:06,319
Speaker 1: Up and like you hit the floor and it's like

787
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:08,480
Speaker 1: a restaurant. I'm like, where am I.

788
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 5: Was like me and with the Godfather you understaying yeah,

789
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:13,200
Speaker 5: and I'm like, I'm like, what is going on?

790
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:15,719
Speaker 1: And that man just begin to pour into me.

791
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:21,800
Speaker 5: I love TD Jake's as just somebody who talks even

792
00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 5: more than preaching.

793
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:25,799
Speaker 1: If you ever get to just talk to him.

794
00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:32,320
Speaker 5: It is like and that mentorship, mentorship from Tim Ross,

795
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:36,799
Speaker 5: mentorship from Robert Morris, mentorship from Stephen Ferdieck, mentorship from

796
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:42,920
Speaker 5: all Like, it's invaluable what you learn from people who've

797
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:43,640
Speaker 5: been damaged.

798
00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:47,160
Speaker 2: Me and Stephen from the same hometown, no monks going

799
00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:47,880
Speaker 2: to South Carolina.

800
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:50,920
Speaker 5: Bro, I just preached for him two weeks ago. Yeah,

801
00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:52,719
Speaker 5: I'm preaching Charlotte two weeks ago and.

802
00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:54,600
Speaker 2: My wife because I was already kicked out of school

803
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:55,960
Speaker 2: by then, but him and my wife went to high

804
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:56,520
Speaker 2: school together.

805
00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:57,040
Speaker 1: Bro.

806
00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:00,960
Speaker 5: It's it's it's it's invaluable what you can learn from

807
00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:03,759
Speaker 5: somebody who will share from their damage. And that's what

808
00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:05,439
Speaker 5: all of those men did. Like, if I think about

809
00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:07,840
Speaker 5: it right now, like I'm thinking you call it mentoring,

810
00:37:08,239 --> 00:37:11,600
Speaker 5: but all mentor mentoring it really is is people showing

811
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:14,200
Speaker 5: you where they messed up, where they should have done

812
00:37:14,239 --> 00:37:16,960
Speaker 5: it differently, sharing from their damage and it helps push

813
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 5: you into your desk.

814
00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:20,400
Speaker 2: Was this after the spit incident?

815
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:24,200
Speaker 5: No, bro, that was before. Okay, I'm the spit hits

816
00:37:24,239 --> 00:37:25,399
Speaker 5: the fan. That's what I call it.

817
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:27,800
Speaker 3: Break it down. People don't know. I know we reported

818
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:28,480
Speaker 3: a long time ago.

819
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:32,120
Speaker 2: It was smearing spin on your brother's fit. I don't

820
00:37:32,120 --> 00:37:34,719
Speaker 2: even remember what it was. Now your point think about

821
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:36,759
Speaker 2: how that was back then, how everybody had you in

822
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:38,840
Speaker 2: the storm talking about I don't even remember what it.

823
00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:42,800
Speaker 5: Yes, So I did an example at my church. I'm

824
00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:45,359
Speaker 5: first off, let me say this. I am not a

825
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:48,000
Speaker 5: regular preacher, like when I say a regular preacher like

826
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:50,919
Speaker 5: I was bored in church, and so when God called

827
00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:52,640
Speaker 5: me to preach, I was like, all right, I'm gonna

828
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:55,640
Speaker 5: actually use everything that I have to help people get it.

829
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:59,600
Speaker 5: And so I tell stories, I use examples, and honestly

830
00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:02,080
Speaker 5: I'm doing everything how Virgil Ablo said for my seventeen

831
00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:04,399
Speaker 5: year old self. Most seventeen year olds they don't care

832
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:06,600
Speaker 5: nothing about church. They're trying to see the girl with

833
00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:09,000
Speaker 5: the booty and go eat and go play with it.

834
00:38:09,239 --> 00:38:12,000
Speaker 5: So I'm trying to like capture. So I've always used

835
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,920
Speaker 5: examples and stuff like that. And so there's this story

836
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:19,399
Speaker 5: in the Bible where Jesus basically heals a man by

837
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:21,799
Speaker 5: spitting on his hand and putting on his face. And

838
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:25,400
Speaker 5: so this is an example I'd done three times before,

839
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:27,480
Speaker 5: and this is what my blood little brother. This is

840
00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:30,080
Speaker 5: not some random audience member or anything like this.

841
00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:30,640
Speaker 1: Now there is a.

842
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:34,080
Speaker 5: Brother we fought blood like, this is my little brother.

843
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:37,040
Speaker 5: And he wanted to do the example with me so

844
00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:40,160
Speaker 5: I could show it. And the whole idea was, like,

845
00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:44,399
Speaker 5: many people will not be willing to go through a

846
00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:48,200
Speaker 5: messy process to get their healing. So the idea was

847
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:51,520
Speaker 5: this man was blind, he wasn't deaf. So if Jesus

848
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:53,920
Speaker 5: is about to spit, he's standing there in front of

849
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:57,399
Speaker 5: Jesus and he can hear, Like if you hear somebody

850
00:38:57,440 --> 00:39:00,160
Speaker 5: about the Huckabu, you're like, oh my god. And I

851
00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:04,040
Speaker 5: was trying to say, as disgusting as this is, that

852
00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:06,879
Speaker 5: man stayed there and he received something that nobody else

853
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:09,359
Speaker 5: could give him. And as I was saying that, I said,

854
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:13,000
Speaker 5: maybe you the counseling would be messy for you, Maybe

855
00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:16,720
Speaker 5: apologizing would be messing for you. Maybe downsizing your house

856
00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:18,759
Speaker 5: would be messy for you after you've put on this

857
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:21,600
Speaker 5: whole thing about how God blessed you. But what if

858
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:23,800
Speaker 5: on the other side of this mess was your healing?

859
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:27,279
Speaker 5: And I did the example. It worked too well, and

860
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:33,080
Speaker 5: by that night we was on DMZ, CNN, next morning,

861
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:36,000
Speaker 5: Breakfast Club, all that other stuff, And it was somebody

862
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:38,240
Speaker 5: was saying to me the other day.

863
00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 1: There was like, do you wish it wouldn't have happened?

864
00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:44,200
Speaker 5: I was like, honestly, no, I was like, it shocked me,

865
00:39:45,239 --> 00:39:49,359
Speaker 5: but what I had to deal with internally and what

866
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:52,920
Speaker 5: I had to become okay with inside of me because

867
00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:53,800
Speaker 5: of that situation.

868
00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:56,160
Speaker 1: It made me into a man that I would have

869
00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:57,920
Speaker 1: never met had it not happened.

870
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:03,759
Speaker 5: Go. I mean, for me, it changed my whole view

871
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:07,160
Speaker 5: of who I was called to reach and how much

872
00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:08,560
Speaker 5: I needed anybody's applause.

873
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:10,880
Speaker 2: I was going The only reason I even bought it

874
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:12,719
Speaker 2: up because I felt like you was getting subbed a

875
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:13,840
Speaker 2: lot by other pastors.

876
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:15,480
Speaker 1: Yeah it was beautiful.

877
00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:17,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like a lot of other pastors was

878
00:40:17,400 --> 00:40:20,520
Speaker 2: like trying to call you out, but not say your name.

879
00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:23,640
Speaker 5: They don't got my cell phone number, they ain't text me,

880
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:24,680
Speaker 5: they just show up.

881
00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:31,600
Speaker 1: And this is the beautiful thing about people. Like for many.

882
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:34,680
Speaker 5: Years it was up and to the right everything about

883
00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:36,680
Speaker 5: what we were doing. This was the first opportunity for

884
00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:40,200
Speaker 5: somebody to take a hit, and some people tried.

885
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:43,400
Speaker 1: But when God calls you, you can't cancel somebody.

886
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:45,120
Speaker 2: And that's why I was That's why I asked you,

887
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:47,680
Speaker 2: you know, who's your mentorship, because I felt like it's

888
00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:50,120
Speaker 2: good to know that there were other pastors who weren't saying, Oh,

889
00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:51,799
Speaker 2: you're not gonna talk about the brother I'm.

890
00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:55,520
Speaker 5: I had people who pulled up on me. I had

891
00:40:55,560 --> 00:40:58,360
Speaker 5: people who put their arm around me. But that's what

892
00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:00,279
Speaker 5: we're supposed to do. If you said, if you say

893
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:01,920
Speaker 5: you my brother, if you say you're my sister, if

894
00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:04,800
Speaker 5: you say we down, that means nothing on the mountaintop.

895
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:08,680
Speaker 5: It only means something in the valley. And so I'm

896
00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:11,319
Speaker 5: grateful for all the men and women and people who

897
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:14,560
Speaker 5: rode with us through that storm. Because if you're doing anything,

898
00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:18,160
Speaker 5: anything of significance, you gonna have in moments, it don't

899
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:20,640
Speaker 5: matter who you are. And so we walked through it,

900
00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:23,880
Speaker 5: and God has changed me in the process because I

901
00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:28,800
Speaker 5: wasn't trying to combat anything. What is this exposing about

902
00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:32,239
Speaker 5: me and thank god I was in therapy, thank God,

903
00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:34,520
Speaker 5: I had community, thank God. And the crazy thing is

904
00:41:34,560 --> 00:41:37,120
Speaker 5: I had finished writing this book, so it wasn't even

905
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:38,759
Speaker 5: gonna be in the book, and God was like, I'm

906
00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:43,360
Speaker 5: gonna give you a live example of what this looks

907
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:45,360
Speaker 5: like to be damaged but not destroyed.

908
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:47,760
Speaker 1: So I had to go back and re edit the book.

909
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:50,439
Speaker 5: Chapter two or three is when the spit hits the fan,

910
00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:53,359
Speaker 5: and I walked through how the whole situation because I'm

911
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:54,240
Speaker 5: gonna use everything.

912
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:55,920
Speaker 1: I'm gonna die empty.

913
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:58,560
Speaker 5: Man, if it happens to me and God can get

914
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:00,319
Speaker 5: glory out of it, I'm gonna use all of it.

915
00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:03,240
Speaker 1: No, bro, if we're supposed.

916
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:05,920
Speaker 5: To be defined by our worst moments, then everybody's jacked up.

917
00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:08,640
Speaker 5: But if we can take our worst moments give it

918
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:10,719
Speaker 5: to God, he can flip that thing and turn it

919
00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:11,840
Speaker 5: into something beautiful.

920
00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:14,480
Speaker 2: That's not about me, that's about him. That used to

921
00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:17,320
Speaker 2: be what the world was about. I mean, I guess

922
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:19,680
Speaker 2: I still that is what the world is. Yeah, I

923
00:42:19,719 --> 00:42:21,440
Speaker 2: can't let social media make me think.

924
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:23,279
Speaker 5: Of Well, the truth of the matter is, it just

925
00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:25,200
Speaker 5: doesn't get as many clips, that's right, right.

926
00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:26,600
Speaker 1: A few weeks before this.

927
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:30,959
Speaker 5: Our church has been a generous church to nonprofits organizations

928
00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 5: sex trafficking. I started in the hood of Tulsa, Oklahoma,

929
00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:37,400
Speaker 5: where right up the street from where the Race Massacres

930
00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:40,080
Speaker 5: happened in nineteen twenty one. Like, that's where my church was.

931
00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:43,200
Speaker 5: And God somehow took that from a three hundred member

932
00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:46,120
Speaker 5: church to a large church that's effecting the world. Well,

933
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:48,359
Speaker 5: part of that was I'm not gonna be a church

934
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:50,719
Speaker 5: that just has resources and we're not gonna really give

935
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:54,440
Speaker 5: Prior to the spit hitting the fan incident, Charllemagne, we

936
00:42:54,520 --> 00:42:57,560
Speaker 5: gave away in one year eight million dollars with no

937
00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:03,080
Speaker 5: strings attached. Wow, not one news report, not one clip.

938
00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:06,120
Speaker 5: Our local news didn't even cover it. Did y'all put

939
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:11,560
Speaker 5: out a press release about that eight million dollars.

940
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:14,960
Speaker 1: We even took the three surviving.

941
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:20,560
Speaker 5: Now there's only two people who survived the Race Massacres massacres,

942
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:23,640
Speaker 5: and we brought them on Juneteenth. And because they've not

943
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:28,040
Speaker 5: received reparations from anybody, not Oklahoma, not not the government anything,

944
00:43:28,239 --> 00:43:31,279
Speaker 5: we gave them each two hundred thousand dollars with no

945
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:32,000
Speaker 5: strings attending.

946
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:34,680
Speaker 1: I know, but the truth of.

947
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:39,040
Speaker 5: The matter is that's not what people desire to feed

948
00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:43,040
Speaker 5: on hope, They desire to feed on people's failures, and

949
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:46,000
Speaker 5: so until we actually do the inner work.

950
00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:47,560
Speaker 1: Why the question is why?

951
00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:51,479
Speaker 5: Why does the Will and Jada thing make us feel

952
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:52,279
Speaker 5: better about us?

953
00:43:52,560 --> 00:43:54,960
Speaker 2: Because our relationships with jacked, but we're not living them

954
00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:56,799
Speaker 2: out alive like they step away from the bike.

955
00:43:57,520 --> 00:44:02,799
Speaker 5: Why does potentially seeing somebody lose their money make you

956
00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:05,560
Speaker 5: feel Why? It's because at the end of the day,

957
00:44:05,719 --> 00:44:08,719
Speaker 5: there's something in you that is not satisfied, not fulfilled,

958
00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:12,080
Speaker 5: and so seeing what happens with mag thee Stallion and

959
00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:15,479
Speaker 5: Tory Lanez and seeing what happens with this pastor who falls,

960
00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:19,000
Speaker 5: and seeing what happened, it just makes us temporarily not

961
00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:22,400
Speaker 5: think about how we need to do some work. And

962
00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:24,480
Speaker 5: that's why the Bible says, like before you pull that

963
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:27,640
Speaker 5: whole log out, that speckle out of your brother's eye,

964
00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:28,520
Speaker 5: you need to get.

965
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:29,719
Speaker 1: That tree log out of your own.

966
00:44:30,239 --> 00:44:32,239
Speaker 5: And right now, it's very easy not to even look

967
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:34,640
Speaker 5: at yourself, because I can look at everybody else.

968
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:36,480
Speaker 3: Man damaged.

969
00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:39,600
Speaker 2: What do you hope people get from this book?

970
00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:39,919
Speaker 3: Man?

971
00:44:40,239 --> 00:44:43,200
Speaker 5: I believe that if you read this book and actually

972
00:44:43,239 --> 00:44:46,440
Speaker 5: do the work that's in here, I tell people this

973
00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:48,560
Speaker 5: all the time. It may not have been your fault

974
00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:51,920
Speaker 5: what happened to you, but it is now your responsibility.

975
00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:55,480
Speaker 1: It's time to do the work. And I'm just I'm just.

976
00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:58,200
Speaker 5: Here to say I've had to do the work in

977
00:44:58,239 --> 00:45:01,400
Speaker 5: front of people, like with one hundreds of thousand people's

978
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:04,040
Speaker 5: watching me, judging me all this stuff. You can do

979
00:45:04,080 --> 00:45:07,560
Speaker 5: this work, no matter where you are, how much money

980
00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:11,080
Speaker 5: you have, what your family thinks about it. You will

981
00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:14,800
Speaker 5: become a different person that will be able to actually

982
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:17,240
Speaker 5: be a blessing to other people.

983
00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:18,879
Speaker 1: The healed version of you.

984
00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:21,080
Speaker 5: Is better than the version of you that you have

985
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:24,120
Speaker 5: right now, if you do the work, if you actually

986
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:27,400
Speaker 5: do it. Let me just say it like this. I

987
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:32,000
Speaker 5: dedicated this book to my great grandkids. In the dedication

988
00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:37,120
Speaker 5: now my oldest daughter's ten, and I dedicated it because

989
00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:39,360
Speaker 5: the Bible says a good man leaves.

990
00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:40,880
Speaker 1: An inheritance for his children's children.

991
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:43,360
Speaker 5: And yes, I want to leave them houses, yes I

992
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:46,040
Speaker 5: want to leave them investments, but I want to leave

993
00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:47,040
Speaker 5: them emotional health.

994
00:45:47,480 --> 00:45:49,400
Speaker 1: I pray one day my grandson.

995
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:52,440
Speaker 5: Picks this book up and is able to say, my

996
00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:56,000
Speaker 5: grandpapa dealt with his stuff, And I know I'm struggling

997
00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:59,160
Speaker 5: right now because life be lifing and everybody's going to

998
00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:01,960
Speaker 5: go through it. God be God, but God be God,

999
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:04,839
Speaker 5: and therapy be be therapy. And that's why let me

1000
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:07,040
Speaker 5: show you. I don't know what camera I can look

1001
00:46:07,080 --> 00:46:09,319
Speaker 5: into right here, the back of the but it's a

1002
00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:12,320
Speaker 5: double cover. The front is me smiling, that's the triumph,

1003
00:46:12,719 --> 00:46:16,000
Speaker 5: But the back of it is me, my dad, my

1004
00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:20,920
Speaker 5: four brothers, and my son. This this is a picture

1005
00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:23,440
Speaker 5: of all of us. It looks like me, but it's

1006
00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:24,000
Speaker 5: all of us.

1007
00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:29,040
Speaker 1: Because your damage affects every person. You say you love it,

1008
00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:32,200
Speaker 1: So if you want to do the work, join me damage,

1009
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:32,520
Speaker 1: but not.

1010
00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:36,840
Speaker 2: To sure if we can pass on generational uh you know, traumas,

1011
00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:38,600
Speaker 2: we can definitely pass on generational blessed bro.

1012
00:46:38,719 --> 00:46:42,240
Speaker 5: You just said it, and take it from blessing generational healing,

1013
00:46:43,640 --> 00:46:47,120
Speaker 5: like what happens if the greatest thing I could give

1014
00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:54,319
Speaker 5: to the next generation is how to deal with their issues? Absolutely, yeah, youse, Father,

1015
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:57,399
Speaker 5: We just thank you for this opportunity to be here,

1016
00:46:58,120 --> 00:47:00,759
Speaker 5: to be in this moment, to be with you, for

1017
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:03,919
Speaker 5: everybody listening, and with my four brothers in the room.

1018
00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:06,840
Speaker 5: I thank you Father that something was said here that

1019
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:10,200
Speaker 5: sparks their faith to believe that you can help them

1020
00:47:10,239 --> 00:47:14,480
Speaker 5: deal with their damage. God, we got different relationships, different responsibilities,

1021
00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:16,960
Speaker 5: different pains, different hurts.

1022
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:18,399
Speaker 1: But God, you know them all.

1023
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:22,680
Speaker 5: I thank you that by faith, something is about to

1024
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:25,080
Speaker 5: change on the inside of every person under the sound

1025
00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:27,960
Speaker 5: of my voice, bring back a moment, a memory of

1026
00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:31,040
Speaker 5: reason why they need to make this step. And I

1027
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:33,280
Speaker 5: thank you that no matter what has happened to them,

1028
00:47:33,440 --> 00:47:36,560
Speaker 5: no matter how bad or how good, I thank you

1029
00:47:36,560 --> 00:47:38,399
Speaker 5: that you can take our trauma and you can turn

1030
00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:40,680
Speaker 5: it into triumph. You can take our pain and you

1031
00:47:40,719 --> 00:47:42,960
Speaker 5: can turn it into platform. Father, I thank you for

1032
00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:43,799
Speaker 5: all the people who are.

1033
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:46,440
Speaker 1: Damaged but not destroyed. Bless them, is my prayer in

1034
00:47:46,520 --> 00:47:47,560
Speaker 1: Jesus name. We agree.

1035
00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:50,840
Speaker 4: Amen, Amen, ladies and gentlemen. Past to Mike time. We

1036
00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:51,920
Speaker 4: appreciate you, brother.

1037
00:47:51,719 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 5: Hey bro, we can make this maybe like a monthly thing.

1038
00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:57,799
Speaker 5: Let's make it happen. I appreciate y'all.

1039
00:47:57,840 --> 00:48:00,919
Speaker 3: It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning to ass up Earth

1040
00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:01,640
Speaker 3: in the morning.

1041
00:48:01,960 --> 00:48:02,759
Speaker 2: Breakfast Club

1042
00:48:06,760 --> 00:48:07,080
Speaker 1: MHM.