Speaker 1: Wind Down with Jamie Kramer and Michael Coffin and I'm
Speaker 1: her radio podcast.
Speaker 2: It's the holiday season. How hearted it that?
Speaker 1: Yeah? That was last week, Hickory Dick. Another good show
Speaker 1: coming your way, and we don't have any guests, but
Speaker 1: we have some very interesting topics to talk about, some
Speaker 1: current events, topical relational information, and we have Mark and
Speaker 1: Easton and Becky and the whole crew here. So we
Speaker 1: want you guys to chime in today since we don't
Speaker 1: have any guess because they know people don't want to
Speaker 1: listen to us for the next hour.
Speaker 2: I don't know though, because I was just about to say,
Speaker 2: why do you need guests? And we're the perfect train wreck.
Speaker 2: People love to listen to the I mean someone had
Speaker 2: said to me on Instagram just recently, I love listening
Speaker 2: to your podcast. It's like the perfect train Like you
Speaker 2: don't want to train wreck, like you don't want to
Speaker 2: look away.
Speaker 1: I was like, great, thanks, We're like a car crash.
Speaker 1: You just want to rubberneck ads. You drive by and say,
Speaker 1: at least that's not me.
Speaker 2: Is that what you say when you see a crush?
Speaker 1: No? I more so pray for them and hopefully everyone's okay.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would like to start off as the producer
Speaker 2: Mark and be like, where's the energy today in the room.
Speaker 2: I feel like you're annoyed.
Speaker 1: You feel like I'm annoyed.
Speaker 2: Welcome Mark, like I'm gonna I'm trying to get the goods.
Speaker 1: First of all, I feel like you've been frustrated with
Speaker 1: me this morning for whatever reason. Okay, a little on
Speaker 1: the edge, and then I'm not annoyed. It's just so
Speaker 1: I have to remind myself that, you know, swipe ups
Speaker 1: and stuff that Janna does is basically why we're able
Speaker 1: to be in the house that we're in. But being
Speaker 1: in the room while she's posting those and having to
Speaker 1: type of things, and she has the slide the sound on,
Speaker 1: so you just hear the same thing over and over
Speaker 1: and over and over again for like ten to fifteen
Speaker 1: minutes as she does the stuff that she has to do. Now,
Speaker 1: Fortunately Janna calls herself out and she's like, shut up, Jana,
Speaker 1: I do, but you have the sound on, which which
Speaker 1: I need. Which, yeah, I have more empathy towards now
Speaker 1: after doing Mike Monday than having to do some of
Speaker 1: those myself. I get why you need the sound on.
Speaker 1: I don't get why you need it all the way
Speaker 1: up to eleven, but I get why you need it on.
Speaker 1: And so I'm sitting here ready to do our podcast,
Speaker 1: and I just here for five solid minutes. Get it
Speaker 1: your head? What was it?
Speaker 2: Hell a body, which, by the way, I.
Speaker 1: Love I love Hello Botty too. Get your body right
Speaker 1: now before Christmas. Swipe up, swipe up. And I'm just like, okay, like,
Speaker 1: any any minute now, she's gonna be done. And then
Speaker 1: another five minutes. Any minute now, she's gonna be done.
Speaker 1: Another five minutes.
Speaker 2: That's the exaggeration. It took me five minutes to post it.
Speaker 1: Which if you sit there in time and sit here
Speaker 1: and listen that for five solid minutes, it feels like
Speaker 1: a lot longer.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry for providing for but other than that, I'm great.
Speaker 1: Other than that, I'm fantastic. So what about you?
Speaker 2: Are you though?
Speaker 1: I am because I felt like this morning, you're like,
Speaker 1: we gotta move this tree in our room. We got it.
Speaker 2: I'm the kind of person when it's when there's clutter
Speaker 2: in my way at one like I let it go.
Speaker 2: I let it go, I let it go, and then
Speaker 2: I'm like, this fucking tree needs to move like it's
Speaker 2: been in and you're like, it's not in your area.
Speaker 2: I'm like, it's halfway in my side table, Like I
Speaker 2: just want it back to where it's at, like the
Speaker 2: original place. And so I just kind of I I
Speaker 2: let things go until I just snap until I'm just
Speaker 2: like I want it in its right place.
Speaker 1: For the record, let's just say include that it could
Speaker 1: be your stuff too, that you'll just let go, let go,
Speaker 1: and then you'll just snap at your own stuff and
Speaker 1: be like, I gotta put this away.
Speaker 2: Sure, absolutely, yeah, I mean most times it's not.
Speaker 1: You know, I beg to differ. Okay, do you leave
Speaker 1: more stuff around the house than I?
Speaker 2: I leave shoes and them in the middle of the
Speaker 2: room though in every room in this house, right, I do, granted,
Speaker 2: but I do not leave them in the middle of
Speaker 2: the room. They are placed nicely in the corner of
Speaker 2: every room. Like my white shoes are in the corner
Speaker 2: by the thing. Now I gotta and I move the
Speaker 2: other pairs. But at least I don't leave them in
Speaker 2: the middle of the room, Like I'm not tripping over
Speaker 2: the shoes.
Speaker 1: Where do you trip over shoes?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you're stupid. Sandals I pep over them.
Speaker 2: I'm so glad we have couples therapy after this, Mark,
Speaker 2: you want to chime in a are you just gonna
Speaker 2: let this train go for a bust?
Speaker 1: You know there's a.
Speaker 3: Balance there because a lot of times I need to
Speaker 3: be quiet and let it play out. But I will say,
Speaker 3: you know, you and Mike, you have a lot of
Speaker 3: issues on this podcast that are major and make us
Speaker 3: fear for you future. This is none of those things,
Speaker 3: and that's good. I think I think this is positive.
Speaker 1: I you know what, I'll second that was saying Jane
Speaker 1: and I dreamed about the day that we would have
Speaker 1: normal marriage arguments, and we're we are there, We're having
Speaker 1: normal marriage arguments.
Speaker 3: Yes three.
Speaker 2: I just love it that Mark even's like we all
Speaker 2: fear your relationship, but this one's actually like normal.
Speaker 3: Can I tell you something that I think you might
Speaker 3: get a kick out of.
Speaker 1: Yes, please.
Speaker 3: We got an email from you guys saying we're running
Speaker 3: ten minutes late every time we get.
Speaker 2: That even we're like, uh oh, I totally hear you
Speaker 2: on that. That makes so much sense.
Speaker 1: That makes all the world, I mean.
Speaker 2: And granted, because you know, a married couple working together,
Speaker 2: you're gonna have.
Speaker 1: Your It's it's hard, man, It's hard when, especially when
Speaker 1: you have to put on a face and come on
Speaker 1: and talk about relationships.
Speaker 2: No, really, though, this time running ten minutes late was
Speaker 2: just because Mike was annoyed because I was doing slipe ups.
Speaker 1: No, it was because you ran longer on the treadmill
Speaker 1: that he expect. You really went after it today. You
Speaker 1: took a shower and you wanted to do that post
Speaker 1: before we podcast it, and he said, we don't have
Speaker 1: any guests today, so can I finish this before? I said, sure,
Speaker 1: I'll email the team.
Speaker 2: And meanwhile the team's like, oh crap.
Speaker 1: We're in for it today. Make sure Mark's on here.
Speaker 1: He's got to produce this shit.
Speaker 2: Mark will really get it.
Speaker 1: Mark will really get it out of him, exactly the conversation,
Speaker 1: Uh huh.
Speaker 2: And really, what it is is I want this tree
Speaker 2: to move. He wants me to put my shoes away.
Speaker 2: He wants me to turn down the volume of my Instagram.
Speaker 2: What else, honey? Is there anything else?
Speaker 1: I just it goes back to this over the underlying
Speaker 1: topic or really the big the big picture here of
Speaker 1: I don't think men say as much to their significant others.
Speaker 1: Female significant others about that stuff, like, because I'll give
Speaker 1: you a benefit of doubt, she'll move that once she's ready.
Speaker 1: And but one it's the other way around when we're like,
Speaker 1: was ISHO, you gotta move it.
Speaker 2: So I don't know, but I've done a I've done
Speaker 2: a test. I've been testing you on something.
Speaker 1: That's not triggering. I love being tested.
Speaker 2: No, it's like a stupid test.
Speaker 1: Let's hear it.
Speaker 2: It's about exactly what you were saying.
Speaker 1: Let's hear it.
Speaker 2: So I have left a bag in the bathroom for
Speaker 2: the last month. Now, granted it's on my side. Okay,
Speaker 2: have you noticed it all?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: Okay, So the bag has been sitting on my side
Speaker 2: of the shower, not really in my way, but it's
Speaker 2: still in our communal area. And I'm like, I'm going
Speaker 2: to leave it there until he says something. And by
Speaker 2: the way, it's been driving me mad like bunkers. And
Speaker 2: it's been a month and he still has yet to
Speaker 2: say something.
Speaker 1: The defense rests.
Speaker 3: So is he passed the test or failed the test.
Speaker 1: I've passed.
Speaker 2: I think you passed right, But he's passed in the
Speaker 2: negative sense.
Speaker 1: So now I'm supposed to write her ass and say
Speaker 1: something about it.
Speaker 2: No, but it where my case rests is that I'm like, guys,
Speaker 2: just don't care. That is laying everywhere. You don't care,
Speaker 2: and that bothers me.
Speaker 1: But I have my breaking point with like my stuff
Speaker 1: too that's laying around or things that are cuttered. I
Speaker 1: have my breaking point too. But for you, that bag
Speaker 1: doesn't affect me in any way, shape or form. I
Speaker 1: don't walk over on that side of the shower. It's
Speaker 1: on your side. I have nothing in the linen closet
Speaker 1: that it's by, so really it didn't bother me. And
Speaker 1: I keep seeing. I'm like, well if she I know
Speaker 1: how she is, if she wants to move it, she'll
Speaker 1: move it. And you know, I've I feel as a
Speaker 1: guide too, because maybe I'll leave more things laying around
Speaker 1: if I say something. My fear is that you're going
Speaker 1: to be You're not going to take it receptively, and
Speaker 1: you're gonna be like, well you got to move your shoes.
Speaker 1: I'm like, damn, okay, Yeah, you've given him a test.
Speaker 3: It's impossible for him to pass.
Speaker 2: I do I do hear you now that? Like you
Speaker 2: say that, I understand that, and I can empathize with
Speaker 2: that because I'm like, you know, and actually I think
Speaker 2: I would be upset if like you said something, because
Speaker 2: I'd be like, well, why don't you move the stuff
Speaker 2: next to your table? But I think the point is that,
Speaker 2: like you don't like men just don't care that there's
Speaker 2: stuff not in the right place. And I think, as
Speaker 2: a woman, that drives me mad because I'm like, I
Speaker 2: would love to move this stuff that's been next to
Speaker 2: your like table for a while and find its place.
Speaker 2: Now you can look around now and find things in
Speaker 2: their room.
Speaker 1: But the time is notoriously filthy.
Speaker 2: I don't want to hear it. Like the most random
Speaker 2: stuff like that just stays on the nights. I'm constantly
Speaker 2: cleaning the nights.
Speaker 1: No you're not. I mean, oh my Lanta.
Speaker 2: This is I will say.
Speaker 3: Though.
Speaker 2: So we were having a girl's night the other night,
Speaker 2: and every single woman there was like, we have to
Speaker 2: say something to our husbands, like it's just a part
Speaker 2: of our And I was like, and I went to
Speaker 2: therapy going why do I always have to say something
Speaker 2: like what what part of me?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 2: Why is what am I needing? What am I looking for?
Speaker 2: Why am I always wanting to say something, and you know,
Speaker 2: she really brought it around and made me understand it
Speaker 2: a little bit more. And you know, at the end
Speaker 2: of the day too, it is just like a woman
Speaker 2: man thing, like we just want things put away and
Speaker 2: we are more we have we are more inquisitive, and
Speaker 2: we have more questions and like it's just a man
Speaker 2: versus woman, like we just not we don't care about things,
Speaker 2: but we just I don't know, is it hitting the
Speaker 2: effort in or I.
Speaker 1: Think there's something underlying for women where it's like, you
Speaker 1: not to generalize, but I feel like most women tend
Speaker 1: to see how we handle a certain situation and mimic
Speaker 1: that to maybe what we feel about y'all. Well, so
Speaker 1: you're like, well, if he doesn't care about this bag,
Speaker 1: that means he doesn't care about me. If you don't
Speaker 1: care about keeping this house clean, does that mean he
Speaker 1: doesn't care about this family and care about me and
Speaker 1: care about what I need? And so it's like, y'all,
Speaker 1: you know, you get on me about taking things personal. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it's like those kind of things, the day to
Speaker 1: day things women tend to take more personally as a
Speaker 1: reflection on how we feel about y'all.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's something my therapist said. She's like, what's
Speaker 2: really underneath the question? Like why are you really asking it?
Speaker 2: Like is it because that you feel like he doesn't care?
Speaker 2: Or is it because you know? And there's there's there
Speaker 2: was different answers for different questions, and some were just
Speaker 2: like and but it's funny though, because every single woman
Speaker 2: at that girl's night was just like, Oh, I do
Speaker 2: that all the time. Like, for example, when her husband
Speaker 2: came home with too many groceries, why do you have
Speaker 2: to get more groceries than what I you know, why
Speaker 2: do you have to get double of that?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 2: I don't have room? It's like, well, why does she
Speaker 2: have to say that? But it bothers her that he
Speaker 2: gets more groceries and like she has no room to
Speaker 2: fill in her pantry and she likes things order and neat,
Speaker 2: and and he's like, why who cares? I got an
Speaker 2: extra peanut butter? You know. But it's it's just yeah't know,
Speaker 2: it's just interesting, like why we always have to say something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I genuinely do give you benefit of a doubt,
Speaker 1: Like I'm just like, okay, if she'll put that away.
Speaker 1: She's an adult, you know. If it was something sitting
Speaker 1: in the middle of the room. Yeah, it's one thing,
Speaker 1: but it's it's not something affecting me, you know, directly.
Speaker 1: But you're an adult and you'll put it away, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. It's like my closets. My side
Speaker 1: of closet is a mess right now, and I got
Speaker 1: to put those clothes away, and it's like, yeah, if
Speaker 1: it was like that for a long period of time,
Speaker 1: I'm sure you would say something. Anybody would.
Speaker 2: I've never seen your side of the closet clean.
Speaker 1: It's like as soon as I do, it gets dirty again.
Speaker 2: It's never I mean the last house that we were in,
Speaker 2: thank God, we had different closets and I was just
Speaker 2: able to shut it. But now our closets are together.
Speaker 2: It's a very and it's a small closet. It's way
Speaker 2: smaller than any closets minus the La home. But you know,
Speaker 2: it's a small closet and it is I have to
Speaker 2: purposely not look left because it just gives me anxiety.
Speaker 1: Jana has made comments before, Hey, you know the dishwashers
Speaker 1: like dirty. You know it's empty.
Speaker 2: You can throw stuff in there, Yeah, because you've been
Speaker 2: leaving them just in there. And I will say this.
Speaker 1: Let me finish. Oka Jana will do the same. At times,
Speaker 1: I've never said anything. I've either left them there or
Speaker 1: I've just put them in the dishwasher. But I don't say, hey,
Speaker 1: I yes, I'll put your plate in the dishwasher. I'll
Speaker 1: just do it. It's just there, you know. So it's
Speaker 1: like the why say something it's a dirty dish. If
Speaker 1: it was an everyday thing that was constantly happening, that's
Speaker 1: one thing. But you and I share the dish's responsibility.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you've just got a little lazier lately with not
Speaker 2: putting it in. I'm just saying, like you have like
Speaker 2: a little I've been emptying the dishwasher so much and
Speaker 2: you've just been like leaving your plates there. I'm like,
Speaker 2: it takes two seconds to put it in the dishwasher.
Speaker 1: I told you we empty an equal amount, right.
Speaker 2: But there was about a week there where it was
Speaker 2: just like babe, right, see.
Speaker 1: And that's what happens. A week goes by, and it
Speaker 1: happens a couple of times, and then all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: it's this big, not big, it's like pandemic that's happening, Yes,
Speaker 1: within our household. Pandemic within a pandemic, the inception of
Speaker 1: a pandemic in our household. That whoa. You know, Mike,
Speaker 1: he just really leaves his plates around.
Speaker 2: You know what, I need to take a break and
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go up to the dishwasher. Go ahead, what
Speaker 2: do you got for us?
Speaker 1: All right? So Dancing with the Stars, that's your squad.
Speaker 1: Chrishelle stous is dating your boy ko I love Q.
Speaker 2: I texted him the other day and was like, you
Speaker 2: finally found your queen because when I was on Dancing
Speaker 2: with the Stars, he was always and he's got that
Speaker 2: accent and he's just like, you know, I always said,
Speaker 2: like I'm trying to find my queen. That's not his
Speaker 2: accent at all. But I'm just like, he just he's
Speaker 2: the most lovable. I loved him so much. He was
Speaker 2: probably my closest dancer guy friend there. And he I'm
Speaker 2: just so happy for him, like I truly am. Because
Speaker 2: and he was just like, oh here, I'm gonna tell
Speaker 2: you what he said back. I think it's fine, he goes.
Speaker 2: He said to me. I texted him cue Yeah, I said, ah,
Speaker 2: you finally found your queen. Happy freebabe, the most deserving
Speaker 2: And he goes the queen. I will cherish forever. Thank you,
Speaker 2: my hon. I'm just like, it's so sweet and she
Speaker 2: deserves love because I mean, we had her on our
Speaker 2: podcast and she was so sweet and I don't know
Speaker 2: what happened with her and Justin, but it seemed like it.
Speaker 2: She was kind of shocked by it all. So I'm
Speaker 2: I hope that they last and they they work out.
Speaker 2: I mean it worked for Artam and Bella Bella.
Speaker 1: Is that her name? Niki Nikki bell Nikki Nikki.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so they were partners but no first kid, but
Speaker 2: I mean these Krishelle was partners with Gleb and I
Speaker 2: felt bad because gled Got is getting divorced and and
Speaker 2: so everyone thought like that was right. So I felt
Speaker 2: really bad that she got looped in again into like.
Speaker 1: Drama of that, right, So well, good for them.
Speaker 2: There's an age difference though, because Keyo's younger.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I mean, what eight years?
Speaker 2: I feel like she's older eight years. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I mean I kind of like, I feel like if
Speaker 2: it's an eight year difference, like that man's gonna tweet
Speaker 2: treat her like a total queen or there could be
Speaker 2: a maturity. But I don't think he was immature.
Speaker 1: No, I mean he's in his thirties, right, Yeah, he's
Speaker 1: thirty one. She's thirty nine. So I think when you're
Speaker 1: in your into your thirties, you've matured enough.
Speaker 2: I don't know, man, I did some older dudes that
Speaker 2: were like twenty years older, and they were not mature.
Speaker 1: Oh for sure, we're still I mean we're still big kids.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I mean I'm happy for them, though. Yeah,
Speaker 2: do you got anything else for us?
Speaker 1: Yeah? How about this? So this was an article on
Speaker 1: the New York Post. Okay, an Instagram model helps women
Speaker 1: catch cheating men by sliding into their dms.
Speaker 2: Genius. Trust me, I've thought of I thought of trying to.
Speaker 2: There was this one thing. It was called like, oh
Speaker 2: my god, what was it called. There was some company
Speaker 2: where basically a it's a like a catch of cheaters.
Speaker 2: But it was called something, and it was almost what
Speaker 2: I was going to do, like before, like I found
Speaker 2: out about things. It's like you hire someone to basically
Speaker 2: I'm like, Okay, my husband's at public's go and you
Speaker 2: hire this woman to go and basically try to like
Speaker 2: slide in and see what they're going to do. It's
Speaker 2: genius having said that it's fire, because what dude isn't
Speaker 2: going to be I mean, this model's beautiful.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you know, I was reading it and she
Speaker 1: actually said she actually said only a few lied and
Speaker 1: said they're single. She said that actually most of the
Speaker 1: men either didn't answer, they said something mean to her,
Speaker 1: or informed them or informed her that they had a
Speaker 1: girlfriend or were together. So I wasn't couraged to hear that.
Speaker 1: Say that happens in a new relationship and someone does
Speaker 1: that from like early on in the relationship, what does
Speaker 1: this say? You know, a new relationship does this. Maybe
Speaker 1: they have some reasons or maybe maybe a person that's
Speaker 1: insecurity does Like has someone try to catch their partner
Speaker 1: and you're the partner and you find out about it,
Speaker 1: Like do you think they could recover after that? Like
Speaker 1: if there's no infidelity at all, no cheating at all,
Speaker 1: been together six months to a year, still new relationship
Speaker 1: and your significant other sets you up like that but
Speaker 1: there isn't anything to be found and you say no
Speaker 1: and deny it and you find out that.
Speaker 2: You know, if I got set up like that, and
Speaker 2: I would think for the guide too, if they got
Speaker 2: like I would, that's sneaky and that's crappy, like to
Speaker 2: randomly set someone up, I would be I'd be like,
Speaker 2: f you man.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Not cool, Like I would be like bye, now was
Speaker 2: it a genius?
Speaker 3: Just like five minutes ago?
Speaker 2: Only if they're like a cheater, like if to see
Speaker 2: if they would cheat again, that's why I would do it. Sorry,
Speaker 2: I guess I miss I misspoke there. It's only if
Speaker 2: it was if they were like that makes sense, have
Speaker 2: already cheated, right, let's see if you do it again.
Speaker 2: Because you most people are like I won't stay with
Speaker 2: you if you do it again, like if you did
Speaker 2: if you know, if you had an Instagram or whatever.
Speaker 2: If I had this person come out to you and
Speaker 2: I was like, all right, I just want to see
Speaker 2: and see what you do and you go forward with it,
Speaker 2: there's my answer. I can't be with you, right because
Speaker 2: some people just need to know, like will it happen again?
Speaker 2: And to be able to control that, to know, like personally,
Speaker 2: that's that it'd be easy to be like, Okay, I'm
Speaker 2: done because you were that quick to like catch.
Speaker 1: The bait, right, But if someone there's no been if
Speaker 1: there's been no issues of infidelity in a relationship and
Speaker 1: someone does that.
Speaker 2: Then I don't think it's genius. I think that's you're
Speaker 2: just playing with fire first of all, and it's rude.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would have a hard time honestly staying with
Speaker 1: the person if they did that to me, Like that
Speaker 1: would be like you said, it's so sneaky, It's like
Speaker 1: why not just come talk to me?
Speaker 2: Well, and I'm sorry, but you're gonna find like it's
Speaker 2: it's not it's not smart, Like if they've not done
Speaker 2: it before, you probably don't want to know if they would.
Speaker 2: Like a very close friend of ours had her husband
Speaker 2: was a sex addict, and she's like, I want to
Speaker 2: know if he'll do it again, And so she had
Speaker 2: created this like fake email and was like meet me
Speaker 2: at this hotel and he bit and he showed up
Speaker 2: and she she was there and yeah, and so was
Speaker 2: like you're done, Like I can't do this with you anymore,
Speaker 2: you know. So it's just one of those things. It's
Speaker 2: like you just gotta be careful what you're what you're
Speaker 2: putting out there, because most likely if the person's already
Speaker 2: done it, they might bite again.
Speaker 1: Yeah, sticky situation.
Speaker 2: He's gonna find the bait regardless, I can't like, you know, yes,
Speaker 2: I would like to have boundaries so that he won't
Speaker 2: see a lot of bait. But at the end of
Speaker 2: the day, if he wants bait, he's gonna go get bait.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean, both both are accurate. You don't
Speaker 1: want to throw, you know, meet in the lion's cage,
Speaker 1: and you also don't want to you know, and if
Speaker 1: you really wanted to find it, then you'd go get it.
Speaker 1: So both are both are definitely accurate. Let's take a break,
Speaker 1: and then I want to touch on something we talked
Speaker 1: on earlier. So we were talking Dancing with the Stars. Earlier,
Speaker 1: we were talking about Artam and Nikki and they were
Speaker 1: having a conversation. I think Artem's uh, I guess now
Speaker 1: brother in law, Nicki's sister's husband was asking him about
Speaker 1: sexter and pregnancy and he was saying, like, it felt
Speaker 1: weird at first, and it is a mental thing and
Speaker 1: you know, but then Nicky was saying, I mean, you
Speaker 1: guys are dealing with this hormones, so you guys are
Speaker 1: hornying and rowed up, and I want to have more sex.
Speaker 1: And then guys, at first it is a mental thing.
Speaker 1: It is a weird concept to get around like that.
Speaker 1: You're you know your baby's in there.
Speaker 2: You ain't poking them in the eye though, But.
Speaker 1: Still I get what Artam's saying that it is weird
Speaker 1: at first, Like you get over it, but it is
Speaker 1: weird at first.
Speaker 2: Why I felt the sexiest when I was pregnant. I
Speaker 2: love like having hyperemesis and terrible pregnancies. I loved being pregnant.
Speaker 1: I I empathize that. Of course y'all would take it
Speaker 1: that way, take it personal and stuff, but it is you,
Speaker 1: just you, just like Mark was saying, you're sharing that
Speaker 1: canal and your baby's in there, and it's just But
Speaker 1: once you get past it, you're past it.
Speaker 2: So to the men out there that are you know,
Speaker 2: to the wives, So don't take it personal.
Speaker 1: Right, don't take it personal. Don't give up, like, just
Speaker 1: stay with it, both of you, like you know, you'll
Speaker 1: get there, you'll get to the comfort level and yeah,
Speaker 1: but don't just take your time.
Speaker 2: It'll be okay, and think about not your baby, not.
Speaker 1: Poking your baby, not poking Jason.
Speaker 3: And after after a couple of weeks, you're gonna be
Speaker 3: ready and you're not gonna care as much.
Speaker 2: What do you got for us? What's next?
Speaker 1: We got any emails? Mark?
Speaker 3: As a matter of fact, we do all right. This
Speaker 3: is from Brittany. How do you go just feel about
Speaker 3: your significant other looking at provocative photos of other women
Speaker 3: or men, whether it's porn or just from Instagram or
Speaker 3: websites like Chive that have these types of photos and gifts.
Speaker 3: Does it make you feel insecure or take away from
Speaker 3: your relationship at all? My boyfriend says every guy looks
Speaker 3: at some form of this, and if he says he isn't,
Speaker 3: then he's lying.
Speaker 2: I'm not answering this.
Speaker 3: I think she wants your perspective on it.
Speaker 1: So I was ignorant like this boyfriend in my younger
Speaker 1: years and thought it was normal, and thought every guy
Speaker 1: looked at this kind of stuff. And I did. And
Speaker 1: you know, Jane and Hiatus ues even in the past
Speaker 1: four years of that kind of behavior coming back up,
Speaker 1: and it took, you know, I had to change my
Speaker 1: mindset around it because before, you know, before I was
Speaker 1: in a twelve step program for addiction and all that,
Speaker 1: and I just kind of wrote it off as guy
Speaker 1: doing guy stuff, a big deal.
Speaker 3: You know what.
Speaker 1: Some guys are able to do that, and that's fine.
Speaker 1: Some guys, some relationships can, some women can. Some guys can,
Speaker 1: and it doesn't take anything from their relationship. And that's fine.
Speaker 1: For me, learning the hard way multiple times, it did
Speaker 1: take away from my relationship. It took away from my
Speaker 1: connection with Janna. It and it just you know, and
Speaker 1: I was finally able to realize and empathize that objectifying
Speaker 1: another woman is harmful not only to my relationship, but
Speaker 1: it's disrespectful to Janna, you know. And that's the way
Speaker 1: I look at it now. Now Brittany needs to come
Speaker 1: to him in an approachable way and be you know,
Speaker 1: open to things and having a discussion and just sharing
Speaker 1: her heart with him and sharing how she feels about
Speaker 1: it and you know, sharing that make up that the
Speaker 1: way she takes it is like he's using the other
Speaker 1: things over her.
Speaker 2: And in the end, Brittany, like you'll find someone that
Speaker 2: won't put importance in that or care. Yeah, they'll care
Speaker 2: more about you and be like, oh my god, I'm
Speaker 2: so sorry. Yeah, Like I don't need to look at this.
Speaker 3: Next email, Jessica says, my boyfriend and I have been
Speaker 3: together for two and a half years, and hasn't been
Speaker 3: a perfect fairy tale.
Speaker 1: To say the least.
Speaker 3: This week, I find out that he cheated early in
Speaker 3: our relationship, sometime within the first year of his dating.
Speaker 3: He refused to tell me if it was once or
Speaker 3: more than once, or what he did or what exactly happened.
Speaker 3: He swears that for the past year since we started
Speaker 3: living together, he has been totally faithful. Where do we
Speaker 3: go from here?
Speaker 2: That's so tough because you're going to feel like the
Speaker 2: entire last few years are a lie. And I mean,
Speaker 2: first advice is just going to therapy, and I think
Speaker 2: you know, if he told you, or if you found
Speaker 2: out and he didn't tell you, I think I think
Speaker 2: he needs to be honest and come forward and say
Speaker 2: you know how many so you have the full knowledge
Speaker 2: before you step forward together. Because if he doesn't, you know,
Speaker 2: since he didn't come forth and be a man and
Speaker 2: tell you up front, then you know and you found
Speaker 2: this out, well, I think it's important to if he
Speaker 2: really cares and values the relationship, he should now be
Speaker 2: honest about what it was, because then you have the
Speaker 2: full knowledge and the full facts before you can make
Speaker 2: your decision on if it's something you can move forward
Speaker 2: with or not, because what if it was like ten
Speaker 2: something girls or whatever, like you need to know if
Speaker 2: it was just one time versus it's there is different
Speaker 2: there are and I always say it's not different. There's
Speaker 2: times that I'm like, oh, you know, it's one time
Speaker 2: or thirty like what. But it's silly, like you need
Speaker 2: to know the facts and have it sit where you
Speaker 2: feel like it would sit for you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And unfortunately, Jessica, you know the fact that you
Speaker 1: had to find out. Chances are this isn't one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: Chances are he is minimizing the past, minimizing what happened
Speaker 1: so he can brush it under the rug and move forward.
Speaker 1: Because as someone who's been that my entire life, that
Speaker 1: is what I did every single time, minimized, rationalized, justified,
Speaker 1: and compartmentalized and then try to move on. So that's
Speaker 1: probably what he's doing again, not for certain, I don't
Speaker 1: want you to hold that against him from Jump Street,
Speaker 1: but I think Janna is right. You know, it's up
Speaker 1: to you whether the number amount or what happened is
Speaker 1: a variable in the equation, because yet therapists will tell
Speaker 1: you later down the road whether it's one or a hundred,
Speaker 1: Like the betrayal is still there regardless, so that the
Speaker 1: big picture of that is still there. But it is different,
Speaker 1: not to justify a drunken mistake, but if it was
Speaker 1: this one time thing that he regrets and he's never
Speaker 1: had communication with him and he hasn't done it since,
Speaker 1: that is different than, like Jana said, being with ten
Speaker 1: other women or being with someone on a regular basis.
Speaker 1: So try to find.
Speaker 2: Out the facts because you're entitled to him.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you are entitled to him.
Speaker 2: Now, don't ask for all the facts. There's certainly I
Speaker 2: was going to say, find the number and find you
Speaker 2: know when and that's when and how many? Is really
Speaker 2: only the details that anyone needs to know, because trust me,
Speaker 2: there's so many things I wish I could burn out
Speaker 2: of my memory for asking.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're hurt. Your pain is going to want you
Speaker 1: to ask every question of the sun, and you're not
Speaker 1: gonna want to know the answers to everything.
Speaker 2: Agreed.
Speaker 1: It's always tough. Yeah, it's always tough. And the end
Speaker 1: of the day, we just we empathize with you, Jessica
Speaker 1: and sorry that you have to be going through this,
Speaker 1: but yeah, it's it's your decision and we know it's
Speaker 1: it's hard to know where to go from here.
Speaker 2: Well, on a side note, Michael and I get to
Speaker 2: go do couples therapy now. So here's to good times ahead.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be a great.
Speaker 3: Credit for get credit for time served after this hour.
Speaker 2: Right, that's what we talked about. All the fluff on here.
Speaker 2: Now we're gonna get to the good stuff. Mark, And
Speaker 2: you can't be anywhere insight, oh man.
Speaker 1: Mark can't produce our couples therapy sessions. See this is
Speaker 1: where I get. I get fearful because I'm going into
Speaker 1: the session, like, man, we've actually been pretty good. I
Speaker 1: don't really have anything on the top of my plate.
Speaker 1: And then we go in and I did blind decided
Speaker 1: by a mac truck.
Speaker 2: That was like the last week, Like last week, you
Speaker 2: like got on me about something which I can't remember
Speaker 2: now what it was, but I was like, I thought
Speaker 2: we were good. Do you remember what that was about?
Speaker 2: Like something so out of the blue where I was like,
Speaker 2: what I thought we were good? You had some complaint
Speaker 2: about me, and it was just it was seemed so big.
Speaker 2: And then I was just like I it's like like you.
Speaker 2: I was like I thought we were good, like we
Speaker 2: haven't fought, Like, do you remember what it was?
Speaker 1: Is it when I felt taken advantage of?
Speaker 2: No, it was after that, it was something else.
Speaker 1: I don't remember.
Speaker 2: Wow, See, isn't that crazy. It was because we got
Speaker 2: into it because I got really defensive about it, which
Speaker 2: my work was bad because I was like, I got
Speaker 2: really frustrated because I was like, where is this coming from?
Speaker 1: And I wasn't. I wasn't even trying to like make
Speaker 1: a big deal about it. I was just expressing what
Speaker 1: was coming up. I don't remember. It's not so funny
Speaker 1: that we forget. Yeah, I mean, thank you.
Speaker 2: What's our email mark? Because I really would love more
Speaker 2: people to email us.
Speaker 3: It's a great question. Wind down at iHeartRadio dot com.
Speaker 2: Wind down at iHeartRadio dot com. You guys email us.
Speaker 2: We'd love to talk about other people's stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I love to talk about your your in a
Speaker 1: good way because we all have some we all deal
Speaker 1: with it and we have different ways of going about it.
Speaker 2: I love you guys.
Speaker 1: Have a nice fight, have a good fight.