WEBVTT - "The Cookout Expert" with Gordon Baker 0:00:01.720 --> 0:00:08.559 Hey, Hello, welcome to the visuals with that guess with 0:00:08.720 --> 0:00:13.200 Marie and her friend Sydney. Yo, my voice is yo, 0:00:13.320 --> 0:00:16.400 me and you. We got matching voices. I don't think 0:00:16.440 --> 0:00:19.880 mine is that deep? Is it? I don't know? Is it, sir? 0:00:21.560 --> 0:00:25.160 How deep your love? Me? Tell me what it's going 0:00:25.200 --> 0:00:29.760 to be. Yo, I'm getting so congested. I don't know 0:00:29.800 --> 0:00:32.640 what the fuck is going on right now. Ew, I 0:00:32.640 --> 0:00:35.360 got the sniffles. I put vix all over my neck 0:00:35.400 --> 0:00:41.120 and nose everything. Wow, to put it everywhere? I sniffed it. 0:00:41.200 --> 0:00:44.680 I like vix Why it's I don't like it at all. 0:00:44.760 --> 0:00:47.720 It makes me feel old, but I used to. My 0:00:47.760 --> 0:00:48.839 mom used to put it on me when I was 0:00:48.840 --> 0:00:51.080 a kid, so I feel like it makes me feel young. 0:00:51.720 --> 0:00:55.600 It makes you feel old. Maybe you're using something like wrong. 0:00:55.600 --> 0:01:00.240 Maybe you're using like ben gate. No, imagine, not be 0:01:00.360 --> 0:01:05.840 using the right fixture. Yay, using like a hemorrhoid cream 0:01:05.840 --> 0:01:08.360 says you're using the wrong. Let me see a picture 0:01:08.360 --> 0:01:10.360 of the box. Like I'm cutting corners. I'm just spost 0:01:10.400 --> 0:01:13.760 have been gay on my chest right on top of 0:01:13.800 --> 0:01:16.959 my upper lip. Gross, it's got a strong smell. It'll cut, 0:01:17.319 --> 0:01:22.880 you'll cut the mucus A gross cut the mucus. I 0:01:22.920 --> 0:01:25.520 need musin X. That's what I need. You want to do? 0:01:25.880 --> 0:01:30.039 You dropping names? We're not sponsored by. Don't go by that. 0:01:31.200 --> 0:01:33.319 We'll get some ben game sis. This is how you 0:01:33.360 --> 0:01:36.520 get sponsored. You gotta do the plugs. You gotta do 0:01:36.560 --> 0:01:38.560 the free work. Yes, because somebody over at Marketing and 0:01:38.720 --> 0:01:41.160 Musinx is like them two dudes that do that podcast, 0:01:41.200 --> 0:01:43.479 you know, the ones with the raspy voices. They real 0:01:43.760 --> 0:01:45.960 funny yo, that we can do a little group the 0:01:46.120 --> 0:01:51.520 Raspby voices quad Stone, the quid stone about raspby, Raspby 0:01:51.600 --> 0:01:56.920 and Raspby, raspy and raspy and Raspby from B two K. 0:01:58.000 --> 0:02:00.360 Here's the one with the juicy lips. Yeah, he's the 0:02:00.360 --> 0:02:02.200 one who said he got touched. But that's why his 0:02:02.280 --> 0:02:07.840 lips look like that. Oh come on, Marie, so fucking deepitch, 0:02:08.400 --> 0:02:13.520 this is why we can't. Rasby probably work at like 0:02:13.520 --> 0:02:15.240 a foot locker now, or that's how they got that 0:02:15.240 --> 0:02:17.560 short and bump bump bump. You know he work out 0:02:17.560 --> 0:02:20.000 like a planet fitness now. You know when you think 0:02:20.000 --> 0:02:22.560 of like one hit wonders, like you think that they'd 0:02:22.560 --> 0:02:24.680 be at their jobs and like their song will randomly 0:02:24.680 --> 0:02:28.680 come on the radio sometimes remember j Kwan, everybody in 0:02:28.680 --> 0:02:31.160 the club getting too and that's a good song. Okay. 0:02:31.280 --> 0:02:34.080 The problem is when I hear that song at the nightclub, 0:02:34.160 --> 0:02:37.280 I'm like, it's time to go. Well, yeah, it comes 0:02:37.320 --> 0:02:40.360 on right before Candy Rain, yes, or they play it 0:02:40.360 --> 0:02:42.519 at the top because nobody's there. And if you're there 0:02:42.520 --> 0:02:44.320 when they're playing it, then you're there too early. Yeah 0:02:44.360 --> 0:02:46.839 you got there at like ten thirty. Yeah, doors didn't 0:02:46.840 --> 0:02:48.959 even really open, the janitors. But you see, you're saying 0:02:48.960 --> 0:02:51.240 ten thirty. But we live in New York, where things 0:02:51.320 --> 0:02:54.120 stay open till six o'clock in the morning. In like 0:02:54.440 --> 0:02:57.639 Jersey and places like that, stuff shuts down at like midnight. 0:02:58.200 --> 0:03:00.799 So we're leaving our house when they're leaving the club. 0:03:00.840 --> 0:03:02.560 But you know why they should shut down early because 0:03:02.600 --> 0:03:05.680 y'all animals, y'all don't know how to act after fucking 0:03:05.760 --> 0:03:09.400 two am, three am. Savages, savages. That's why I shut 0:03:09.440 --> 0:03:11.440 the shit down. They're like, you know what, I think, 0:03:11.600 --> 0:03:13.200 I'm done with all my songs for the night, and 0:03:13.240 --> 0:03:16.040 they just New Jersey people turned into grimlins after midnight. 0:03:16.120 --> 0:03:20.440 They turned to Ferby's. Yeah, this is hilarious because our 0:03:20.480 --> 0:03:23.400 guest is from New Jerseys. Yes, we're not gonna give 0:03:23.440 --> 0:03:28.440 him any time to defend him. Yes, Ferbie Tellertovy Teller Ferby, 0:03:28.560 --> 0:03:31.280 what were you an expert in this week? What was 0:03:31.320 --> 0:03:33.520 that excerpt in this week? Oh? Are you not prepared? 0:03:34.400 --> 0:03:36.000 You know, you ain't do You ain't do the work. 0:03:36.000 --> 0:03:39.240 You ain't do the homework. Honestly, I feel like we've 0:03:39.280 --> 0:03:41.240 been doing a lot of them, and I've been running 0:03:41.280 --> 0:03:43.880 out and expertise. I feel like, okay, so I don't 0:03:43.880 --> 0:03:45.960 know when we're gonna post this, but you know, so 0:03:45.960 --> 0:03:48.440 I'm getting ready to go to LA and we're recording 0:03:48.840 --> 0:03:52.080 legit thirty eight episodes in a week. So y'all are 0:03:52.080 --> 0:03:55.960 just getting some old, old old things from us. Definitely. Well, 0:03:55.960 --> 0:03:57.680 I'll tell you what I was an expert in. I 0:03:57.720 --> 0:04:03.440 was an expert in dodgy dodging stuff and hurting feelings. 0:04:03.560 --> 0:04:05.880 Let me tell you what happened. So you know, I'm 0:04:05.880 --> 0:04:09.560 on this little dating app and I went out with 0:04:09.560 --> 0:04:13.800 this dude. Uh he's Italian and but from Italy, like 0:04:13.840 --> 0:04:16.359 in New York working on his pH d. He was like, 0:04:16.480 --> 0:04:18.839 let's meat for tea, but he hit me up. It 0:04:18.880 --> 0:04:21.359 was brunch time, right. I was like, cool, cool, cool, 0:04:21.480 --> 0:04:24.400 I'm gonna eat. I get to this place. It's in 0:04:24.440 --> 0:04:28.480 my ex boyfriend's neighborhood, so I'm already apprehensive. That's the food. 0:04:28.839 --> 0:04:31.800 But if you want to make a nigga mad, another 0:04:31.839 --> 0:04:34.920 white man. But this was not an attractive white man. 0:04:34.960 --> 0:04:36.120 So I was like, Oh, he's not gonna be mad 0:04:36.120 --> 0:04:40.080 about this. This is there's nothing happening here. So I 0:04:40.240 --> 0:04:41.960 so I get there. The dude is already there. He's 0:04:42.000 --> 0:04:43.760 waiting for me outside. I was like, you don't look 0:04:43.880 --> 0:04:47.000 like your picture. That what photos were? He looked like 0:04:47.920 --> 0:04:52.520 he was. He was like six foot something. That right, right, 0:04:52.560 --> 0:04:54.360 But when when you think of Italian man, what in 0:04:54.400 --> 0:04:56.120 your mind, what does he look like like? From Italy? 0:04:56.160 --> 0:04:58.080 He got like dark hair, he probably got like a 0:04:58.200 --> 0:05:00.880 like like green eyes or something. My tale which he 0:05:00.960 --> 0:05:03.320 maybe got like some hair popping out the turtle neck, 0:05:03.360 --> 0:05:04.800 you know what I mean. But this guy was like 0:05:04.839 --> 0:05:07.440 he looked real young, but like old at the same time. 0:05:07.760 --> 0:05:10.000 He's been through something. He's been through things, right, So 0:05:10.480 --> 0:05:13.160 we get in. It's brunch. Everybody's in there with their friends, 0:05:13.200 --> 0:05:14.440 eating and having a good time. He's like, do you 0:05:14.480 --> 0:05:16.760 want to have some tea. I'm like, cool, we're gonna 0:05:16.800 --> 0:05:18.280 do the tea and then we're gonna do the food. 0:05:18.960 --> 0:05:20.320 They give us a menu. He was like, I might 0:05:20.400 --> 0:05:25.400 do like a pastry or something pastry. That's the you know, bitch, 0:05:25.440 --> 0:05:28.880 you're getting it even to day Sis, we're not eating today, 0:05:28.960 --> 0:05:31.160 old snack. I was like, wow, because I could tell 0:05:31.200 --> 0:05:33.160 that he was one of those When the check came, 0:05:33.160 --> 0:05:35.640 he's gonna be like, you owe eighteen dollars in the thirties. 0:05:35.680 --> 0:05:39.599 He was like, a snack for my snack, that's it. 0:05:39.760 --> 0:05:42.400 So I'm sitting there drinking my tea real fast, just 0:05:42.440 --> 0:05:44.320 burning my thoat because I'm ready to go right I'm 0:05:44.320 --> 0:05:45.800 like already, I'm like no, I'm not here for this. 0:05:46.040 --> 0:05:49.359 But he was also really boring, like real he was 0:05:49.360 --> 0:05:52.919 talking about Donald Trump, like god know, the Dreamers. On 0:05:52.960 --> 0:05:55.520 the first day. I was like, niggas is drinking Mimosa's 0:05:55.560 --> 0:05:57.479 around us and you're talking about this And did he 0:05:57.480 --> 0:05:59.120 look at your face? Did you have your face on? 0:05:59.279 --> 0:06:00.920 Since we were sitting No, I didn't have a face. 0:06:03.120 --> 0:06:05.080 He said, can you get her a stick of gum? 0:06:08.680 --> 0:06:10.680 I went up there with my with my with my 0:06:10.960 --> 0:06:13.480 regular face, and did you have a head wrap one? 0:06:13.560 --> 0:06:17.360 Did you have a No, I don't think I might. 0:06:18.080 --> 0:06:19.400 You don't megap one for brunch? 0:06:19.480 --> 0:06:19.680 Wait? 0:06:19.720 --> 0:06:22.279 Wait, did you go look like you were doing the laundry. 0:06:22.480 --> 0:06:24.240 You're like, I'm just making it stop. And you know, 0:06:24.240 --> 0:06:25.800 when I do laundry, I'll be real free because it's 0:06:25.800 --> 0:06:27.440 in my building, so I don't even have own pants. 0:06:27.480 --> 0:06:29.680 Sometimes I'd be like, I'd be like, what up, Jenny, 0:06:29.800 --> 0:06:33.160 how you doing just washing some panties because I'm all 0:06:33.160 --> 0:06:36.920 out anyway, So, uh, I finished the tea. They came. 0:06:37.360 --> 0:06:39.520 The bartender came several times to be like, did y'all 0:06:39.520 --> 0:06:43.560 need anything? And he was like he was like, and 0:06:43.640 --> 0:06:46.160 I was like, so I go to the bathroom, come 0:06:46.240 --> 0:06:49.039 back and start putting my coat on immediately, right, He's like, 0:06:49.040 --> 0:06:50.240 what are you up to for the rest of the day. 0:06:50.279 --> 0:06:51.599 I was like, I'm about to go get some food 0:06:51.640 --> 0:06:55.360 because I'm hungry. He was like, oh okay. I was like, yeah, 0:06:55.560 --> 0:06:59.520 I'm gonna go get some food after this because I'm famished. Right, 0:06:59.680 --> 0:07:01.840 So we go outside. He's like, let me walk you 0:07:01.880 --> 0:07:03.799 to the train. We're going the same direction. I'm already 0:07:03.839 --> 0:07:06.159 trying to say goodbye at the door. We're going the 0:07:06.279 --> 0:07:10.400 same way right. We crossed the street together. He I 0:07:10.480 --> 0:07:13.120 hug him, He hugged me. He tried to kiss me. 0:07:13.240 --> 0:07:16.120 When I tell you I matrixed cis when I tell 0:07:16.160 --> 0:07:19.200 you the dip in my back, when I dip you dip, 0:07:19.280 --> 0:07:22.560 we dip. I dipped so hard in the middle of 0:07:22.560 --> 0:07:25.440 the street. Just see Ara style. Just no, you can't 0:07:25.520 --> 0:07:29.800 kiss me. You can't kiss me. You didn't feed me. 0:07:30.160 --> 0:07:32.400 You can't kiss me anyway, but you definitely can't if 0:07:32.400 --> 0:07:35.200 you got me, what what did he get you? A 0:07:35.280 --> 0:07:38.120 no sense didn't get you didn't my mouth was he 0:07:38.200 --> 0:07:42.360 got your biscuits. Try he got your little bescott a 0:07:42.360 --> 0:07:47.000 biscotti in the middle of the street, curved him. Cars 0:07:47.000 --> 0:07:50.600 are driving by, just just driving by. And I crossed 0:07:50.600 --> 0:07:52.880 the street, went right into the bodega and got a 0:07:52.880 --> 0:07:56.040 sausagegak and cheese Italian niggas is bold, okay, because I 0:07:56.080 --> 0:07:58.400 told you I went out with one several several several 0:07:58.480 --> 0:08:00.680 years ago. He bought me a Zar dress and he 0:08:00.720 --> 0:08:03.720 thought he was gonna get anal from a Zara dress, 0:08:04.520 --> 0:08:07.840 a Zara dress that was on sale. He tried to 0:08:07.840 --> 0:08:10.320 act like you got your clearances and then went I 0:08:10.360 --> 0:08:14.040 was like, wait, it's the same dress. So I let 0:08:14.080 --> 0:08:15.560 him put it in my butt. And I was like, say, 0:08:16.280 --> 0:08:17.800 let him put it in your butt? Did you have 0:08:17.880 --> 0:08:19.800 the dress on the wind? Did you like the dress 0:08:19.880 --> 0:08:21.760 up for him to get to your butt? Since for 0:08:21.840 --> 0:08:24.120 nine ninety nine it was off the shoulder, sis for 0:08:24.240 --> 0:08:26.040 eighty percent off, you let him get one hundred percent 0:08:26.080 --> 0:08:29.520 of the ass off? Should wow? Listen? He gave me 0:08:29.640 --> 0:08:32.320 half a Creed bottle. You're saying it was off the shoulder, 0:08:32.400 --> 0:08:37.640 so he slid the dick from the top. The dress 0:08:36.200 --> 0:08:39.800 was of the Please tell me what Italian dudes are bold? 0:08:39.840 --> 0:08:42.400 They shoot, they shot, okay, they don't care if they 0:08:42.440 --> 0:08:46.040 played for the Knicks. They shoot it, they drop it everything, 0:08:46.080 --> 0:08:49.760 they don't care. So my core is real strong. So 0:08:49.800 --> 0:08:52.200 sorry for you. I'm so sorry for your loss. Honestly, 0:08:52.520 --> 0:08:54.320 you shouldn't be going outside if you're not getting no 0:08:54.360 --> 0:08:58.200 food to stay home. Dude, I got milk and cereal 0:08:58.240 --> 0:08:59.960 at the house. Okay, you got old packs of rond 0:09:00.000 --> 0:09:03.160 com in here. Okay, old packs. You know they don't expire, 0:09:03.240 --> 0:09:10.760 all right? They that MSG keeps them fresh. What was 0:09:10.760 --> 0:09:15.479 our expert in what was our expert in tricking dominoes? 0:09:16.080 --> 0:09:18.480 Oh you were able to trick them into getting Oh. Yes, 0:09:18.559 --> 0:09:21.920 I put in another address. I put in another name, 0:09:22.240 --> 0:09:25.280 but I put in my number. Them niggas banned me. 0:09:25.360 --> 0:09:27.960 I said, for real, not really, I put in another 0:09:28.240 --> 0:09:32.240 for real, not really. I put in another address, like 0:09:32.600 --> 0:09:36.199 four blocks down, no, no, four doors down, and then 0:09:36.240 --> 0:09:38.200 I just had them call me and then like we're downstairs. 0:09:38.200 --> 0:09:41.440 And then he's like all the way up the block 0:09:41.480 --> 0:09:49.600 and I'm like air ure ay ya ya, yeah, yeah yeah. 0:09:49.679 --> 0:09:53.080 I was like yeah yeah. I was yelling at all 0:09:53.120 --> 0:09:56.360 this ship to Dominoes, and he was like, oh the addresses. 0:09:56.440 --> 0:09:59.240 I was like, you know what, I got, fat finger, 0:09:59.280 --> 0:10:01.320 little typos. I don't really know how to type little 0:10:01.360 --> 0:10:05.360 typos ten nineteen twenty one to who knows you know? 0:10:05.720 --> 0:10:07.439 Here it is, thank you, and I got my wings 0:10:07.440 --> 0:10:10.520 and I got my pizza, So fuck you Dominoes. I 0:10:10.600 --> 0:10:13.800 get mine run of applause for you for thank you gaming. 0:10:14.160 --> 0:10:16.480 You're not gonna stop me. Who gonna stop me? Who 0:10:16.480 --> 0:10:20.040 gonna check me boo? Not domino Dominoes. Okay, okay, speaking 0:10:20.040 --> 0:10:23.200 of check me boo? Uh, speaking of Dominoes, speaking of Dominoes, 0:10:23.240 --> 0:10:30.400 speaking of Doe, No, just get it, get it, so sorry, 0:10:30.400 --> 0:10:32.440 what is wrong with you? I don't know, it's the tea. 0:10:32.480 --> 0:10:35.240 I'm so rude. Actually, ain't no drugs. And this is 0:10:35.400 --> 0:10:39.560 one of my favorite comedians. Okay, get into it. He's 0:10:39.640 --> 0:10:44.960 from Newark, so that says a lot. It does because 0:10:45.000 --> 0:10:47.000 if you're from Newark and I like you, like you 0:10:47.160 --> 0:10:50.280 have to be funny. Oh okay, yeah, I'll see what 0:10:50.280 --> 0:10:52.360 you're saying. Yeah, well, go ahead and do the introduction. Nigga, 0:10:52.480 --> 0:10:54.840 damn Okay. He's a comedian, he's a writer, he has 0:10:54.880 --> 0:10:58.200 a podcast. He'd be dicking people down on the regular 0:10:58.320 --> 0:11:00.720 on Thursday. Thursday. He got a dick appointment. After this, 0:11:00.840 --> 0:11:06.280 he told us give it for Garden Baker Bone. Gordon 0:11:06.280 --> 0:11:10.880 baker Bone is our to the dom people. You you 0:11:10.920 --> 0:11:12.640 got to listen to the last couple of episodes. Yeah, 0:11:13.440 --> 0:11:16.360 she said, I said it too many times. But I 0:11:16.400 --> 0:11:19.080 got banned and I ran up. I pulled up on 0:11:19.200 --> 0:11:21.960 Dominoes and I tried to curse them out. Pulled up 0:11:21.960 --> 0:11:24.000 on foot though, Yeah, on foot, so I didn't have 0:11:24.040 --> 0:11:27.360 another car to get into like you. Yeah, but they 0:11:27.400 --> 0:11:30.000 banned me, but it was for like three four weeks. 0:11:30.040 --> 0:11:33.920 But I got mine. I got mine. Nigga what kind 0:11:33.920 --> 0:11:35.640 of what kind of dipping sauces you got for the winch? 0:11:35.760 --> 0:11:37.480 I have some blue cheese. I put it in an 0:11:37.480 --> 0:11:39.240 extra one for me. I was like, treat yourself, bitch, 0:11:41.200 --> 0:11:45.200 treat yourself, bitch. Actually I forgot to say your expertise, Gordon, 0:11:45.360 --> 0:11:51.400 it's cookouts, yep, sort cookouts expert. I my own cookouts, 0:11:51.440 --> 0:11:53.680 and I scamed my way in on other people's cookouts, 0:11:54.200 --> 0:11:56.679 white barbecues. I don't like white barbecue. Well let's talk. 0:11:56.800 --> 0:11:59.480 What's the white people. White people have barbecues. Black people 0:11:59.520 --> 0:12:02.520 have cookouts. Yes, so when you go to white person barbecue, 0:12:02.559 --> 0:12:04.560 what do they have? Hot dogs? Hamburgers? Right? 0:12:04.600 --> 0:12:07.000 Hot dogs hamburgers unless they try to get fancy and 0:12:07.040 --> 0:12:10.480 they try to do like wings on the grill and 0:12:10.520 --> 0:12:13.240 it's not great at all and they'd be dry. There's 0:12:13.280 --> 0:12:15.480 no sauce on it. And just like I but like, 0:12:15.880 --> 0:12:20.520 barbecues are more for drinking. You go there just to drink, and. 0:12:19.760 --> 0:12:23.120 These are like an alcoholic You mean you sound like 0:12:23.120 --> 0:12:26.280 an alcoholic. Yeah, well maybe all my white friends they drink. 0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:29.840 So I go to cookouts for food. That's what you 0:12:29.880 --> 0:12:32.480 go to cookouts for food. You go to barbecues with 0:12:32.559 --> 0:12:35.360 white people. We went to a barbecue once and the 0:12:35.400 --> 0:12:38.240 white people, right, remember it was like the grill. They 0:12:38.360 --> 0:12:41.560 was flipping things with their fingers. Yeah, white people let me. 0:12:42.480 --> 0:12:46.520 They were petting the dog and then giving the dogs. Yeah. 0:12:46.640 --> 0:12:49.679 I went to a Memorial Day barbecue and the dude 0:12:49.800 --> 0:12:51.600 was on the grill and then he was like letting 0:12:51.640 --> 0:12:53.840 the dog lick his fingers, but flipping the meat with 0:12:53.880 --> 0:12:57.040 them same dog tongue fingers. And I was eating a 0:12:57.120 --> 0:12:59.160 burger at the time. I threw the burger off the roof. 0:13:00.160 --> 0:13:01.920 I was like, this is why I don't like eating 0:13:02.000 --> 0:13:06.000 your food, Barbara. Just's just for games and drinking. 0:13:06.040 --> 0:13:09.600 They don't really partaking like the good deliciousness to make 0:13:09.760 --> 0:13:10.640 quality burgers. 0:13:10.920 --> 0:13:12.760 Like I go all out for mine. But what do 0:13:12.840 --> 0:13:15.640 you look like? I could tell by your headline. Yeah, yeah, 0:13:15.640 --> 0:13:19.040 I'm turning into my grandfather. And my grandfather used to 0:13:19.080 --> 0:13:20.360 be in front of the I just thought it was 0:13:20.400 --> 0:13:23.240 goofy how much pride he took it. Okay, So tell 0:13:23.240 --> 0:13:24.640 me what you're doing to your burgers that make your 0:13:24.640 --> 0:13:27.120 burgers special. I do it like a bacon brisket burger. 0:13:27.640 --> 0:13:31.120 Your brisk wait wait wait wait, I'm count jump on 0:13:31.160 --> 0:13:31.440 the train. 0:13:31.520 --> 0:13:34.640 To New Jersey for that brown beef brisket makes one. 0:13:34.640 --> 0:13:37.360 I'm a little bit of fat pork belly and uh. 0:13:37.280 --> 0:13:44.520 Yeah okay Rachel Rad right, Rachel Rad Yeah, do that? 0:13:45.080 --> 0:13:47.280 What else I do? I do brons because like some 0:13:47.400 --> 0:13:50.160 dudes like rots, that's a that's a link. Yeah, brought 0:13:50.200 --> 0:13:58.920 worst real ba do bros? Bro? Do you even brought bro? Yeah? 0:13:58.920 --> 0:14:02.160 I got a couple of brons. The truck Sheryl's coming 0:14:02.280 --> 0:14:07.960 just bringing the kids. Uh yeah, like just my cookouts 0:14:08.000 --> 0:14:09.439 because I do. I do my own now and I 0:14:09.480 --> 0:14:12.080 in whte my friends. You got a yard. I used 0:14:12.080 --> 0:14:13.280 to do it in my parents yard, but now I'll 0:14:13.320 --> 0:14:16.680 run out to the park at Nork and wait, hold on, 0:14:16.880 --> 0:14:19.160 can you tell the listeners about where you're from, because 0:14:19.200 --> 0:14:22.840 I feel like they don't know how terrible it is. 0:14:23.520 --> 0:14:25.000 You're like, oh, I do it. I do it at 0:14:25.040 --> 0:14:28.040 the park. White people listening in York, New Jersey get 0:14:28.120 --> 0:14:30.400 a bad rap. It's just Google Newerk. Yeah you said 0:14:30.440 --> 0:14:32.320 it's a bad It has a bad rap. It has 0:14:32.360 --> 0:14:36.600 a bad rap. No, no, no, what's a movie from Newark? 0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:38.960 New Jersey drives? Okay, I don't know that New Jersey drive. 0:14:39.120 --> 0:14:41.840 Terrible movie New Jersey was a number one car theft 0:14:41.920 --> 0:14:44.280 capital in the world for like ten years, so they 0:14:44.280 --> 0:14:45.240 decided to make a movie. 0:14:45.360 --> 0:14:47.560 Heavy d was in it, Queen Latifa was in it. 0:14:47.840 --> 0:14:51.160 And they didn't actually have directors go around shooting people 0:14:51.200 --> 0:14:54.040 pretending to steal cars. They just took stolen car footage, yes, 0:14:54.120 --> 0:14:57.320 that cops had from their DADH camp. Yes, that movie 0:14:57.320 --> 0:15:00.120 sounded real, Little Bud. It was that movie sound like 0:15:00.160 --> 0:15:02.000 a home video. It was very newer. 0:15:02.400 --> 0:15:06.240 Donald was in it from a scrubs. Uh, well, I 0:15:06.280 --> 0:15:09.040 know him from Clueless. Yeah, he was Stacey Dash, his 0:15:09.080 --> 0:15:11.760 boyfriend and he embracest. Yeah, he was in it. 0:15:11.880 --> 0:15:14.400 And like the best word about New Jersey drive is like, well, 0:15:14.400 --> 0:15:16.760 for me, it was like where I lived, so I 0:15:16.840 --> 0:15:18.400 knew all those streets and I knew like. 0:15:18.360 --> 0:15:20.440 So you were happy to see it, you know how 0:15:20.480 --> 0:15:24.280 it was getting depicted right het us on the big screen? 0:15:24.440 --> 0:15:25.760 We do it well, dude. 0:15:25.800 --> 0:15:27.800 I got the pressed one time because I found out, 0:15:27.800 --> 0:15:32.240 like I used to watch Acon's ghetto video. So as 0:15:32.240 --> 0:15:34.400 long as just that, I just sang, it's a song 0:15:34.840 --> 0:15:38.720 ghetto about like just how living in pocket, how poverty is, 0:15:39.000 --> 0:15:40.240 and I'm watching the video, I was like, man, this 0:15:40.280 --> 0:15:41.080 town looks terrible. 0:15:41.120 --> 0:15:42.960 Man. I watched like five times and then they drove 0:15:43.000 --> 0:15:49.040 by your car. That's my that's my parents house. There. 0:15:49.120 --> 0:15:52.400 I am on the drill in the park. I was like, 0:15:52.480 --> 0:15:53.920 damn he living bad out there. And I was like, 0:15:55.240 --> 0:15:56.760 and then he were on the screen. You're like, oh 0:15:56.760 --> 0:16:02.000 my god, waving at a coon body rolling man, Like Jersey, 0:16:02.120 --> 0:16:04.160 we get a bath, right, Yeah, we close at two o'clock, 0:16:04.200 --> 0:16:06.480 but like our strip club stay open till five and 0:16:07.200 --> 0:16:09.240 got strip clubs over there. Yeah, most of our strip 0:16:09.240 --> 0:16:12.080 clubs is BYO big, so people just coming with YO big. 0:16:12.320 --> 0:16:16.320 If I have to bring my drinks to the strip club, 0:16:16.440 --> 0:16:19.280 I'm not coming to the strip club. How is the 0:16:19.280 --> 0:16:21.720 strip club making any money if they're not selling out? 0:16:21.840 --> 0:16:23.680 Charge the cover and they charge your flight. Say if 0:16:23.680 --> 0:16:25.120 you need a cup or like you want to sew 0:16:25.200 --> 0:16:26.440 the charge of the cups? 0:16:26.560 --> 0:16:28.920 Yeah, well if you b yob and you're not bringing cups, 0:16:28.920 --> 0:16:32.960 then you deserve to get charged with im. Like I 0:16:33.040 --> 0:16:35.960 brought the liquor. Who got the cups? Exactly? Can't bring 0:16:35.960 --> 0:16:37.840 the liquor inside. You gotta leave the liquer in your trunk. 0:16:38.080 --> 0:16:41.400 You can bring any beer, champagne, wine, all that stuff. 0:16:41.400 --> 0:16:43.640 You can bring a champagne to the strip club, not 0:16:43.680 --> 0:16:46.680 bringing my own champagne? Were doing? What are we celebrating? 0:16:46.720 --> 0:16:49.680 The strip club is by your own stripper too, probably, 0:16:49.840 --> 0:16:52.200 it's like, what are we celebrated. I'm dropping off my sister, 0:16:52.440 --> 0:16:55.600 like I just started CVS. Now she's up there torking, okay, 0:16:55.720 --> 0:16:57.320 and she didn't take it. She didn't give me all 0:16:57.400 --> 0:16:57.960 our change. 0:16:59.080 --> 0:17:00.480 Me and my friends we do this thing called Epic 0:17:00.520 --> 0:17:02.400 Brunch in Jersey, Like we go to this place. 0:17:02.560 --> 0:17:04.280 It's a strip club. You'll go to go to trip 0:17:04.320 --> 0:17:05.960 club back because it's free on Sunday. I was like, 0:17:06.000 --> 0:17:07.600 I thought the brunch was a strip cl I was not. 0:17:07.680 --> 0:17:10.000 What the fun is all? You can eat asses at 0:17:10.040 --> 0:17:15.040 the strip club, but you gotta bring yours, asked Benedict. Yeah. 0:17:18.359 --> 0:17:21.159 Yeah, we were going Sundays because it's free before if 0:17:21.160 --> 0:17:22.240 we get there about like three. 0:17:22.400 --> 0:17:25.440 So we like the strip club that early on a Sunday. 0:17:25.920 --> 0:17:29.280 You have no family, no family, you don't love yourself? 0:17:29.320 --> 0:17:33.919 Should it be backed there? Oh my god? What is it? 0:17:34.000 --> 0:17:39.720 Is it full nude so you can see? Yeah? Yeah, 0:17:39.920 --> 0:17:43.640 it gets pretty raunchy on Sunday and the Lord's Day. Yeah, 0:17:43.680 --> 0:17:45.800 probably across the street from the church, like a big 0:17:45.800 --> 0:17:48.640 ass church with bills, and my friends were going look 0:17:48.720 --> 0:17:51.800 real quick. We played cards while there and watch football, 0:17:52.280 --> 0:17:55.359 play spades at the Strip Club. Yes, we play. Listen 0:17:56.520 --> 0:17:59.000 if you could see my phallopian tubes and you playing, 0:17:59.040 --> 0:18:01.960 you know, everybody getting shot up and everybody getting draw 0:18:02.040 --> 0:18:09.520 for everything, everybody getting draws the game. She just took 0:18:09.520 --> 0:18:10.119 off for bra. 0:18:11.560 --> 0:18:13.720 No, she just took off a broad to the side 0:18:13.960 --> 0:18:15.880 and just laid down for two songs and got back 0:18:15.960 --> 0:18:18.440 up and then left after she was done. 0:18:18.680 --> 0:18:20.439 I just laid the funk down. I'm like, hey, do 0:18:20.520 --> 0:18:23.960 what you want. This ain't even my full time gig. 0:18:24.880 --> 0:18:27.000 I'm just here trying to exactly I'm just here trying 0:18:27.000 --> 0:18:29.479 to send my kids to private school. 0:18:32.280 --> 0:18:33.840 Dope, But you just got to go to the right parts. 0:18:33.880 --> 0:18:35.920 Everybody think it's that white part. We got some dope 0:18:35.960 --> 0:18:40.280 parts in Urbanton. No, if the hitginess are there, that 0:18:40.280 --> 0:18:41.159 means it's dangerous. 0:18:41.720 --> 0:18:44.720 I have I have a terrible story about going to Newark. 0:18:45.240 --> 0:18:48.439 I met a dude. I already hate the story. I 0:18:48.480 --> 0:18:51.720 met a dude at one of those like expensive boutiques 0:18:51.800 --> 0:18:54.639 like Intermix or whatever something like that. I met him. 0:18:54.680 --> 0:18:56.760 I thought he worked there. He actually was just a 0:18:56.840 --> 0:19:02.240 delivery guy. You didn't see the brown shorts. Just like 0:19:02.320 --> 0:19:04.800 he looked real. He matches really well. I had no 0:19:05.040 --> 0:19:08.280 fucking idea. He jumped into his car. I'm about to 0:19:08.280 --> 0:19:10.479 give me some new Jay brand jeans. I'm gonna get 0:19:10.520 --> 0:19:13.479 some Citizen and Humanity jeans. I was like, oh, I'm 0:19:13.480 --> 0:19:16.880 about to eat a plug a plug. So he was like, oh, 0:19:16.960 --> 0:19:19.040 you know, come through and I was like, okay. Cool. 0:19:19.320 --> 0:19:21.840 Where you live He's like New Jersey. I was like, okay. 0:19:22.000 --> 0:19:24.600 He was like Newark. I had never been to Newark before. 0:19:25.119 --> 0:19:28.600 What the name sounds hood to me? People people in 0:19:28.720 --> 0:19:31.000 Australia here Newark and they're like, oh, that sounds like 0:19:31.000 --> 0:19:31.240 I'm not. 0:19:32.640 --> 0:19:38.679 Saycause when it sounds like New York and that's not 0:19:38.960 --> 0:19:40.439 don't don't act like that's where you're. 0:19:40.280 --> 0:19:48.439 Going York Newark nor people in New York nigga that 0:19:48.480 --> 0:19:56.479 don't try to don't you cherry on top put an accent? 0:19:56.520 --> 0:19:59.679 Take you believe you? He said. He said, okay, So 0:19:59.720 --> 0:20:01.720 when you get off the train, I had to walk 0:20:02.000 --> 0:20:05.200 from the path to his place. He's like, all right, 0:20:05.240 --> 0:20:08.000 So it's it's a little rough, is he didn't come 0:20:08.040 --> 0:20:10.919 pick you up, no, because he was scared. He was 0:20:13.440 --> 0:20:15.240 he don't really He was like, no, I don't really 0:20:15.240 --> 0:20:18.040 come out after a certain time, I can't really come out. 0:20:18.520 --> 0:20:21.280 I was like, man, the dick better be great. So 0:20:21.320 --> 0:20:23.800 I go there. He don't even have his own place. 0:20:23.880 --> 0:20:26.840