Speaker 1: I would ask you to just give us a little
Speaker 1: bit of grace. I mean, is it really does Is
Speaker 1: it really necessary to come forth with this this harsh,
Speaker 1: harsh of a judgment to say I would support you
Speaker 1: if you started, if you started acting more on your
Speaker 1: faith and and it's tacky and unnecessary to say it
Speaker 1: with that, I would just say, hey, he well, pump
Speaker 1: the brakes a little bit. What's up, guys. Welcome to
Speaker 1: the podcast. Thank you for listening. Thank you for watching.
Speaker 1: If you're on YouTube, thank you for listening on Spotify,
Speaker 1: Apple Music, any other podcast app that you might be
Speaker 1: coming from. Thank you for making this constantly one of
Speaker 1: the top podcast in all of music. It's it's been fun.
Speaker 1: My favorite guest here, Parker Smith repeat from last week.
Speaker 1: Thank you for coming, dude, Thanks for having me. Parker
Speaker 1: is thirteen years younger than me, and we have known
Speaker 1: like three Parkers in my life. One I knew the
Speaker 1: toddler Parker, like the little kid, and then I moved
Speaker 1: away and went to college, and by the time I
Speaker 1: saw him again besides Christmas and Thanksgiving, he was already
Speaker 1: a high school Parker, and then high school Parker. We
Speaker 1: kind of separated a little bit, and then he became
Speaker 1: adult Parker and now we work together. So that's the
Speaker 1: three versions. You know, sometimes I missed the little kid Parker.
Speaker 1: What version will we get next? I wonder? No, man,
Speaker 1: this is it two adults. We're thirteen years apart. So
Speaker 1: when we were younger, we just felt worlds apart a
Speaker 1: lot of times. But now it feels it doesn't feel
Speaker 1: like there's an age difference, besides the fact that I've
Speaker 1: been married longer. Yeah, and I just show you how
Speaker 1: to format your Instagram posts true. True. The way that
Speaker 1: we run this podcast, guys, is you email me Grangersmith
Speaker 1: Podcast at gmail dot com. I'll check your email, ask
Speaker 1: me a question, and then we'll answer the question. Like
Speaker 1: we're just sitting around a campfire you're shooting. Hey, can
Speaker 1: I ask you a question? It's about a relationship, or
Speaker 1: about my boss, or about a new job I want
Speaker 1: to try, or we want to move, or it could
Speaker 1: be about anything, and Parker and I will walk through it.
Speaker 1: Parker is also the CEO of Yegee Apparel, our brother
Speaker 1: apparel line. My middle brother, Tyler is my manager, my
Speaker 1: business excuse me, my music manager, and he's also co
Speaker 1: owner of Ygee with me, so we work together. What
Speaker 1: is going on at ee Apparel. It's been crazy after
Speaker 1: the fall lunch. You guys are finally catching up after that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're getting ready for a big push heading into the
Speaker 1: end of the year. Finally caught up on orders at
Speaker 1: this point by the time you're listening to this, and
Speaker 1: so you should get your order fairly quickly if you
Speaker 1: ordered today. And then we have some cool We have
Speaker 1: actually the biggest thing that we've ever done, releasing on
Speaker 1: Black Friday, which is Project X, and we will be
Speaker 1: teasing that sometime in November, and that is going to
Speaker 1: be extremely exciting day for ee Are you excited? Yeah? Man,
Speaker 1: this has been in the works for a long time,
Speaker 1: so much research, so much field trials to make sure
Speaker 1: this is exactly right Project X, and you guys talk
Speaker 1: about it. We have another podcast called the Eegee Podcast.
Speaker 1: It comes out on Wednesdays. You're on almost every episode
Speaker 1: of that, right, Yes, so that's with Hayden and Parker.
Speaker 1: I'm not on it that I'm maybe once a month
Speaker 1: Hayden invites me. But you guys have talked about Project X.
Speaker 1: I just retweeted something you guys, a little clip you
Speaker 1: put from that podcast, but I'm so pumped about that. Hey,
Speaker 1: I got to ask you, what if someone listening now
Speaker 1: wants to work at the ee farm for you, if
Speaker 1: they are local in the Austin area and they can
Speaker 1: work more than twenty hours a week, then email store
Speaker 1: at yeapparel dot com with your resume and we'll go
Speaker 1: through them and we may be able to use you. Great.
Speaker 1: Let's get to this first question here. It comes from
Speaker 1: a girl named Amber, a name I'm very familiar with,
Speaker 1: says Hey, Granger, how would you feel about a man
Speaker 1: that your wife and you met together at the same
Speaker 1: time sending your wife a friend request and not you.
Speaker 1: This happened to me recently. A woman that my husband
Speaker 1: and I met at a dinner party sent my husband
Speaker 1: a friend request but not me. I thought this was strange,
Speaker 1: and my husband said that he didn't want to accept
Speaker 1: the request until she sent me one. I don't want
Speaker 1: to blow the situation out of proportion, but it gave
Speaker 1: me a weird feeling. What are your thoughts. It's interesting. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's very specific and a little uneasiness, maybe a little insecurity.
Speaker 1: Not to say that's not a strange situation. She was
Speaker 1: probably pretty probably maybe a little intimidated by her. Nothing
Speaker 1: against your amber. I think it's a valid question. And
Speaker 1: let me say it this way. You can't control anything
Speaker 1: that happens outside of your marriage to you, guys, all
Speaker 1: you can control is how you and your husband react
Speaker 1: to it. So, yes, it's at one level, it's weird.
Speaker 1: It's weird that you would get at friend request, that
Speaker 1: he would get a friend request, not you. But on
Speaker 1: another level, it's almost like, well, the world's gonna do
Speaker 1: what the world's going to do. You didn't know this
Speaker 1: guy or this girl, and you can't really trust someone
Speaker 1: that you don't know for just from one time meeting
Speaker 1: at a dinner party, And so I think you're you're
Speaker 1: valid and being uneasy about it. But it's not that
Speaker 1: big a deal if your husband just ignores it. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, it's like she probably
Speaker 1: has a crush on your husband, so what So yeah,
Speaker 1: it shouldn't affect anything. Yeah, and that's a conversation between
Speaker 1: you and your husband. And I don't think you're wrong
Speaker 1: and telling your husband don't accept it, that's weird. I
Speaker 1: don't think you're being a crazy jealous wife. I don't
Speaker 1: think you're being out of line. I think he would
Speaker 1: probably do the same thing right back to you. It's
Speaker 1: no big deal. It's weird that it happened, but move on.
Speaker 1: Ignore it. And it's it's uncalled for, it's it's a
Speaker 1: it's unnatural, man. I got I got a lot of
Speaker 1: questions for you, Parker that I kind of set aside.
Speaker 1: And oh, this is interesting, this is an interesting one.
Speaker 1: I want to read this to you. I've been holding
Speaker 1: onto this since September. It says the subject line is
Speaker 1: ye Ye quote faith family outdoors. That's something we say
Speaker 1: a lot at EE a perils family outdoors. It says,
Speaker 1: I've noticed faith family outdoors on your EE apparel, but
Speaker 1: I haven't noticed faith as a part of YEE. Yes,
Speaker 1: we see Granger sharing as faith regularly and occasionally Parker
Speaker 1: and Tyler, but not YEE itself. Faith doesn't seem to
Speaker 1: be a part of the company as a whole. I
Speaker 1: purchased YEE in the past, and I would purchase more
Speaker 1: and be more interested if faith were more prevalent. I
Speaker 1: get that you have a dedicated fan base who likes
Speaker 1: the outdoors redneck country lifestyle represented by the company. If
Speaker 1: but and you want to cater to that, but using
Speaker 1: faith as part of the tagline seems tacky and unnecessary
Speaker 1: if the company itself isn't going to actually represent Christian
Speaker 1: values or share the Gospel in any way through the brand.
Speaker 1: I thought that just blew me away when I read that.
Speaker 1: It blew me away because I want to ask, what
Speaker 1: what do you think, ye yee? Is it is us?
Speaker 1: It is me Parker and Tyler. We're the ones that
Speaker 1: started it. And if we're the ones sharing the gospel
Speaker 1: and sharing our faith all the time, then what do
Speaker 1: you want from yee that we are? Ye? Right? Isn't
Speaker 1: that kind of what you think? Yeah? I agree. I remember.
Speaker 1: I remember having a conversation with our team when when
Speaker 1: I first decided to make our tagline Faith Family Outdoors,
Speaker 1: And I remember having conversation with a gal who goes,
Speaker 1: are you sure you want that to be in our
Speaker 1: bio of ye apparel? Because that faith could turn some
Speaker 1: people away? Having a conversation with a guy internally, and
Speaker 1: I was like, yes, one hundred percent, and he goes, okay,
Speaker 1: also that that faith doesn't necessarily align with some of
Speaker 1: the things that we're posting right now, And that was
Speaker 1: a big wake up call to me to be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: well it should. So if you look at our page
Speaker 1: two years ago versus what we're posting today, there is
Speaker 1: a stone difference of the type of content that we're
Speaker 1: promoting that was I mean before it was really promoting
Speaker 1: drunkenness and uh and a lot of cussing and things
Speaker 1: that were not you know, necessarily rooted in a company
Speaker 1: that is going to use the tagline of faith. And
Speaker 1: so yeah, I think that we do a good job
Speaker 1: of representing that on our personal pages and on the
Speaker 1: EE platform. Now, yeah, to to this emailer, I would
Speaker 1: ask you to just give us a little bit of grace.
Speaker 1: I mean, is it really does Is it really necessary
Speaker 1: to come forth with this this harsh, harsh of a
Speaker 1: judgment to say I would support you if you started,
Speaker 1: if you started acting more on your faith and and
Speaker 1: it's tacky and unnecessary to say it with that, I
Speaker 1: would just say, hey, he well, pump the brakes a
Speaker 1: little bit. I mean, do you not fall There has
Speaker 1: been a big change in the Three Brothers over the
Speaker 1: last two years. Another question I get constantly is a
Speaker 1: question along the lines where of hey, don't you think
Speaker 1: that you singing earl debbils. Singing about getting drunk is
Speaker 1: not representing the faith that you talk about. And I'm
Speaker 1: just there's that's such a loaded question because I'm like, man,
Speaker 1: that was in twenty eleven. It's a very very different.
Speaker 1: It's it's also a very valid question because I asked
Speaker 1: myself that question too when I whenever I would consider
Speaker 1: myself a born again radical follower of Christ, I remember
Speaker 1: texting you and saying, I don't see any other way
Speaker 1: to follow Christ than to become basically a pastor. At
Speaker 1: this point, I need to stop everything. I need to
Speaker 1: quit everything. And the only thing that I do is
Speaker 1: go to seminary and start my own plant, my own church.
Speaker 1: And it's like so and so for the people ask
Speaker 1: you that, it's like grandeur. The only thing you literally
Speaker 1: need to be singing is is gospel and worship every
Speaker 1: single song. You need to stop your career and halt it.
Speaker 1: Ye apparel needs to stop. Every post and every single
Speaker 1: post needs to be sharing the gospel. And it's like,
Speaker 1: I just think that there's ways to I think that
Speaker 1: there's ways to grow where we're planted, where Christ finds us,
Speaker 1: so that we can promote the gospel to his glory
Speaker 1: in the best way we know through what we're doing,
Speaker 1: not necessarily quitting everything and opening a church. Right. But
Speaker 1: I mean, my transformation happened, you know, even since the
Speaker 1: latest album. You know, because the latest album was done
Speaker 1: and wrapped up before the crazy transformation happened to me.
Speaker 1: So yeah, we think about it all the time. If
Speaker 1: you go to my concert. Now, here's a good example.
Speaker 1: You go to my concert now, Earl Dibbles Junior. The
Speaker 1: bridge of the countrybou song is getting country junk in
Speaker 1: the back of my truck. The night is young gonna
Speaker 1: get messed up. That's the bridge and has been over
Speaker 1: the years a really big moment of the show. I
Speaker 1: stopped it. I don't do that anymore because I felt
Speaker 1: convicted about it. So now that part, instead of that line,
Speaker 1: I changed it to wherever city we are, I'll say
Speaker 1: it's in Nebraska celebration we are Ye Ye Nation. It's
Speaker 1: in Nebraska celebration, we are ye Nation. So I change
Speaker 1: it to wherever we are and that's the new line.
Speaker 1: So so there's like little things that we shave off
Speaker 1: here and there, but man, we're working on it. Please
Speaker 1: please do the email or pump your breaks a little
Speaker 1: bit and give us a little bit of grace. You
Speaker 1: sound like you got a lot figured out, and I
Speaker 1: wish I wish I was more like you, and I'm
Speaker 1: working on it. I'll say that. Here's a quick one.
Speaker 1: I just went right to it. It It says, dear Granger,
Speaker 1: please tell me what are your thoughts on race mixing
Speaker 1: and racial integration. I was a little surprised by that.
Speaker 1: But man, good, good with it, that's my answer. Oh,
Speaker 1: good with it. I don't know because because of the question,
Speaker 1: I don't know where you're leaning with that are what
Speaker 1: you're needing out of me? But man, see, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: bat an eye at it. I wouldn't think twice about it.
Speaker 1: So that's my answer. Yep, I agreed. Family issues, Hey Granger,
Speaker 1: I'm Charles Holly. I'm thirteen, and I have a problem.
Speaker 1: So for a while, my dad's brothers have been sucking
Speaker 1: up to his mom for money instead of working. My
Speaker 1: dad is very mad at his brothers and does not
Speaker 1: want to confront his mom because she has been through
Speaker 1: cancer several times. So I would love your advice. Please
Speaker 1: reply if you're going to put this on the podcast,
Speaker 1: in which episode God bless Charles, Holly, dad is Dad's
Speaker 1: brother has been sucking up the mom for money instead
Speaker 1: of working, and Dad's very mad. But he doesn't confront mom.
Speaker 1: But does he confront the brother. That's where he needs
Speaker 1: to do. He doesn't need to confront mom. I get that,
Speaker 1: But does he confront the brother. That's Hey, Charles, this
Speaker 1: is this is between your dad and his brothers. You're thirteen.
Speaker 1: I appreciate your concern, but this is this is on
Speaker 1: your dad. We have to at some level be men
Speaker 1: of integrity, and Dad, Charles is watching. You do the
Speaker 1: right thing. If it's not a big deal, if you
Speaker 1: don't care that much, then don't worry about it. If
Speaker 1: you don't worry that mom's given your brother money, don't
Speaker 1: worry about it. If you do care that much about it,
Speaker 1: go to your brother and say, hey, we need to talk.
Speaker 1: We need to talk. You're taking advantage of mom. She's
Speaker 1: been through cancer. She can't keep doing this. But there's
Speaker 1: one of these in so many families, there's this kind
Speaker 1: of situation happens a lot. Communication. Thanks, Charles, you want
Speaker 1: to read a couple of these to you. Some subject
Speaker 1: clients know where to go. Man, we're kind of rocking
Speaker 1: some questions right now, we're moving faster than we normally do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: how about this one for first one on the list?
Speaker 1: Now it says help please read pornography. It doesn't say
Speaker 1: read pornography. It says in parentheses, please help read. And
Speaker 1: then hey Granger. First of all, just want to say
Speaker 1: thanks for doing this podcast and making your music. My
Speaker 1: name is Tim. I'm fifteen, and I have an older
Speaker 1: brother who's seventeen, who's addicted to pornography. Our parents don't
Speaker 1: know about this. My question is should I tell our
Speaker 1: parents about his pornography problem. You also should know that
Speaker 1: my older brother has a big anger problem, and one
Speaker 1: of my fears is that if I tell our parents,
Speaker 1: he's going to beat me up physically. I've been praying
Speaker 1: for my brother since I found out. I'm just not
Speaker 1: sure if it's my place to tell our parents about
Speaker 1: his pornography problem. Also, if I were to tell our parents,
Speaker 1: how would I go about doing it? I appreciate your thoughts.
Speaker 1: This is Tim from Idaho. Thank you, Tim shout out
Speaker 1: to Idaho, appreciate you. Listen. Brother, that's two a young
Speaker 1: teen in a row that we read here and both
Speaker 1: of the questions what we could what the analogy between
Speaker 1: the thirteen year old and the fifteen year old is
Speaker 1: they're both worried about someone else in the family that's
Speaker 1: not theirs problem. These questions are hard. Did you think
Speaker 1: I was going to give you a bunch of easy
Speaker 1: ones for that? Yes, honestly, because it's one question. It's
Speaker 1: one thing to be addicted to pornography yourself and to
Speaker 1: be seeking ways to be freed from that. It's another
Speaker 1: situation when you add in these complications of is it
Speaker 1: my place to speak up for someone that I love
Speaker 1: for what I know is ultimately going to be right
Speaker 1: for them, even if it's at the expense of potentially
Speaker 1: some type of physical abuse. I mean, that's just I
Speaker 1: don't know. Yeah, I hear you so so, Tim, you
Speaker 1: being afraid of your big brother for you calling him
Speaker 1: out and he beats you up physically. That's like a
Speaker 1: different issue. So that's something else that we probably should
Speaker 1: talk about. That's probably a higher priority than your brother's addiction,
Speaker 1: because this is what affects you directly, Tim, is the
Speaker 1: possibility of you getting beaten up. I'm assuming this has
Speaker 1: happened before, otherwise you wouldn't have said it. That way,
Speaker 1: you would have said you were scared that he might,
Speaker 1: but you're scared that he is. So go to your
Speaker 1: parents with that right, Like go to your parents with
Speaker 1: that first, Like, Hey, I'm afraid of my older brother
Speaker 1: that he might beat me up physically. Can we talk
Speaker 1: about this as a family, because I don't want to
Speaker 1: live in the house where I'm afraid. That's a great
Speaker 1: question for mom and dad. And once again, this is
Speaker 1: just like the last question. This goes back to mom
Speaker 1: and dad being parents full of integrity that have a
Speaker 1: household that when you come home from school, any kid
Speaker 1: that's listening you should you should come home from school
Speaker 1: to a safe place. When you walk in your house,
Speaker 1: you're safe from physical abuse, you're safe from name calling,
Speaker 1: you're safe from verbal abuse of any kind. That's how.
Speaker 1: It's not always like that, but that's how it should be.
Speaker 1: So parents should should always be aware that they have
Speaker 1: a safe place you come home because the world is crazy.
Speaker 1: You're going to see crazy things at school and at work,
Speaker 1: but when you come home through our doors, you could
Speaker 1: relax because this is a safe spot. That's what as
Speaker 1: a parent, that's what you want your kids to feel.
Speaker 1: So Tim go to them with that. And as far
Speaker 1: as the pornography, you love your brother, I think that's great,
Speaker 1: but there's there's other issues right now. And I would
Speaker 1: I would take all that energy that you're you're you're
Speaker 1: throwing out to want to fix your brother and turn
Speaker 1: that that energy back to yourself and your own life
Speaker 1: and go, what is it that I'm doing that I
Speaker 1: could clean up a little bit? You know, like the
Speaker 1: kid that we read, you know, was it last week
Speaker 1: about the coffee? You know, how how do I stop
Speaker 1: being addicted to coffee? And he's fourteen years old? You
Speaker 1: know that is there something going on with you, Tim
Speaker 1: that you could help clean up in your own life
Speaker 1: and and be that, be that example where your your
Speaker 1: older brother goes, Man, my brother Tim is just a
Speaker 1: rock solid kid. He's that guy's has got it figured out.
Speaker 1: And I don't that's a much better example than you
Speaker 1: two years younger, going you shouldn't do that. I mean,
Speaker 1: who are you to tell him that? Right? Yeah? I
Speaker 1: actually I think that you sum that up fairly well.
Speaker 1: And and I wanted to ask you. I think that
Speaker 1: there's a lot of guys out there. This is a
Speaker 1: subject that not a lot of guys like to talk
Speaker 1: about openly, and there's probably a lot of guys out
Speaker 1: there who are wondering what steps that they can take
Speaker 1: to free themselves from the addiction of pornography that has
Speaker 1: gotten so popular. I am so accessible and so accessible,
Speaker 1: and I remember growing up not knowing one guy who
Speaker 1: did not watch pornography, like from middle school on every
Speaker 1: and it was so normalized and it's continued to be
Speaker 1: normalized and accessible. Would you have any advice for guys
Speaker 1: who are are addicted to it at this point, or
Speaker 1: maybe just explain some of the dangers of it for
Speaker 1: some people who don't think who it's so normalized that
Speaker 1: they don't understand the dangers of it. There's two levels.
Speaker 1: There's two levels to that question. And on one level,
Speaker 1: you could say, because God doesn't want you to, you know,
Speaker 1: And I think so many times when we're when we're teaching,
Speaker 1: like our kids, you shouldn't lie, you shouldn't you shouldn't steal. Why, Well,
Speaker 1: ultimately we want to tell our kids because God says
Speaker 1: not to, you should honor your parents. Why because God
Speaker 1: says to it's right here, let me show you the verse.
Speaker 1: Let me show you the verse. And so at some
Speaker 1: level with this, it's like, well, let me show you
Speaker 1: the verse. So when people hear you say that though
Speaker 1: that they're going to say, well, God doesn't say not
Speaker 1: to watch pornography. Well, there's no verse that says that, Yeah, absolutely,
Speaker 1: but he's gonna say that you you have to flee
Speaker 1: from any kind of sexual immorality and any kind of
Speaker 1: sexual temptation. And that's exactly what that is. So that's
Speaker 1: one level. The second level is just the mental addiction
Speaker 1: of it and the and the damage that it does.
Speaker 1: One of okay, you could start with. One of the
Speaker 1: levels of damage that it does is it will degrade
Speaker 1: your perception of women and it's gonna it's gonna really,
Speaker 1: it's gonna really hurt the image you have of the
Speaker 1: next girlfriend that you have when you're nineteen years old.
Speaker 1: And so it's here we go back to the cookie
Speaker 1: jar thing. You know, what is it that's triggering this,
Speaker 1: Why are you going to it and how are you
Speaker 1: getting to it? And let's get the cookie jar out
Speaker 1: of the kitchen. If you're on a diet, you don't
Speaker 1: want to walk past the cookie driver day. Get it
Speaker 1: out of the kitchen. So we can start with that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it has a lot to do with at
Speaker 1: the root what John Piper says and what he calls
Speaker 1: his Christian hedonism, which is he says, Okay, what's the
Speaker 1: definition of hedonism? A pleasure filled life? And so he
Speaker 1: was the one who really started this movement of Christian hedonism.
Speaker 1: And it's like, Okay, we have a God, and we
Speaker 1: know that through following Christ, we will have trial and
Speaker 1: we will have suffering, but at the same time, we
Speaker 1: know that that is the only place that we can
Speaker 1: find the joy and fulfillment that our souls long for.
Speaker 1: And so when you're when you're searching through you know,
Speaker 1: pornography or alcohol or drugs, you're saying, I don't trust you.
Speaker 1: I will figure out how to fill that void myself
Speaker 1: through these this the dopamine trickle in my brain that
Speaker 1: comes from doing these short term things. And you're saying,
Speaker 1: I do not I don't trust your your ability to
Speaker 1: give me fulfillment and peace. And so I think it's
Speaker 1: just an honest conversation with yourself at that point, saying
Speaker 1: that I've been trying to rely upon myself rather than
Speaker 1: God for the fulfillment that my soul needs. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: what do you do. And I think an easy answer
Speaker 1: to that, the quick answer is what we say, seek
Speaker 1: wise counsel. So you go to a friend, you go
Speaker 1: to a friend that you could trust, you know is
Speaker 1: a good guy, and you say, can I tell you
Speaker 1: something that's I'm really embarrassed to say this, but I
Speaker 1: can I tell you man, I can't stop looking at porn.
Speaker 1: Can you help me? Man? Can you help keep me
Speaker 1: account I mean, once again, it has to be someone
Speaker 1: that you trust, or maybe it's someone that has the
Speaker 1: same problem. You both want to work together. But if
Speaker 1: you keep each other accountable, it's amazing what that could
Speaker 1: do in your life. And you could literally if you
Speaker 1: open it up. And now it's an embarrassing topic, but
Speaker 1: if you just open it up and you just say, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm going to call you every morning and say how'd
Speaker 1: you do yesterday? And so when you get that urge
Speaker 1: you want to open your phone and go see something,
Speaker 1: and you think, oh, I got to talk to my
Speaker 1: buddy tomorrow on the phone, and I want to clean slate.
Speaker 1: I want to tell them I didn't do it, or
Speaker 1: you got to be honest and tell them you did.
Speaker 1: But human accountability is a big deal when it comes
Speaker 1: to something like this. I know that's not what you're asking, Tim,
Speaker 1: and I know that we gave you a lot of
Speaker 1: stuff here, but I appreciate you emailing it, and I
Speaker 1: appreciate you listening, and I appreciate you caring about stuff
Speaker 1: that matters like this, and I hope you get some
Speaker 1: of this stuff ironed out. I love Idaho too, so
Speaker 1: hope to see you next time we come. Parker. Let's
Speaker 1: take a break. We'll be right back. Guys. This podcast
Speaker 1: today is brought to you by Athletic Greens. I'm on
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Speaker 1: come out of the road, this is no joke. I
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Speaker 1: and you've heard me say this before. I went to
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Speaker 1: It makes me feel better. It makes me be able
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Speaker 1: packs today. Back to the podcast. Are you wom going
Speaker 1: to hit you with some easy ones? I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: do that. I'm going to keep the hard ones going, Parker.
Speaker 1: That's what this podcast is about. Hitting the hard questions.
Speaker 1: Here's a good one. Equally Yoked Relationships is the subject.
Speaker 1: It says, Hey Granger, my name is Audrey. I'm a
Speaker 1: sophomore in high school and I live in Boise, Idaho.
Speaker 1: That's two Idaho is in a row, and that's two.
Speaker 1: That's three teenagers in a row. Huge fan of your
Speaker 1: podcast and all that you do to shed the light
Speaker 1: of Jesus to so many people. I look up to
Speaker 1: your wisdom and what you do. So thank you. Thank you, Audrey.
Speaker 1: I appreciate that, says. I've grown up in church and
Speaker 1: live a Christian life. I have a strong faith in Jesus,
Speaker 1: especially in these times. In one of my classes, there
Speaker 1: is a boy that is not only attractive physically, but
Speaker 1: he's also very kind to me, and it feels like
Speaker 1: we've been best friends for years. I've recently felt feelings
Speaker 1: towards him, but I found out he's a Mormon. I
Speaker 1: have prayed on what to do in this situation because
Speaker 1: I feel like half of me is torn and wanting
Speaker 1: to shed the light of Christianity on him, but the
Speaker 1: other half of me feels as though it would be
Speaker 1: wrong to date him because the Bible says to be
Speaker 1: equally yoked in your relationships. But if you ever found
Speaker 1: out my feelings for him, I also feel our friendship
Speaker 1: would be ruined. Anyways, I'm just kind of stuck. So
Speaker 1: I guess here's my question. Do I go about this
Speaker 1: Do I go about this year and just tell him,
Speaker 1: tell myself to get over him, or do I pursue him?
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Audrey, That's an easy one. You
Speaker 1: know what, I was hearing a lot of feelings I feel,
Speaker 1: I feel, I feel. I would say that it is normal.
Speaker 1: Feelings themselves can be good, But when you're throwing that
Speaker 1: F word around a lot, then I would just have
Speaker 1: that red alert check engine, like come on, as just
Speaker 1: a heads up. We feel a lot of things. Those
Speaker 1: feelings are real, those feelings of physical attraction are real.
Speaker 1: And guess what. The majority of the time people feel
Speaker 1: red hot and love with somebody and they marry them,
Speaker 1: and then those feelings fade and they feel like they
Speaker 1: fall out of love with them, and then they get divorced.
Speaker 1: That happens most of the time, is people follow their
Speaker 1: feelings into relationships, the feelings fade and it's like we
Speaker 1: have to figure out something else to trust other than
Speaker 1: our feelings. Yeah, so, Audrey, it's a great question, and
Speaker 1: it's it's probably another common question, not to not to
Speaker 1: darken it any but but but it's people think about
Speaker 1: this stuff and and the Bible is full of this
Speaker 1: this kind of stuff. And so you could go to
Speaker 1: him and you could say, I need to tell you something.
Speaker 1: I'm a Christian, and he's going to say, great, I'm
Speaker 1: a Christian too. And then you're gonna say, I mean,
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm an orthodox Christian, like I believe in
Speaker 1: saved by Grace alone, through faith alone, and Christ alone,
Speaker 1: as read in the Bible alone, as inspired by God alone.
Speaker 1: That's what you say, and it's important for you. It's
Speaker 1: going to be important to you to share the Gospel
Speaker 1: with him, and who knows, maybe maybe he goes you
Speaker 1: know what, I want to hear more about this. I
Speaker 1: want to hear more about your view. Ninety percent chance
Speaker 1: that he won't. And people are getting real uncomfortable in
Speaker 1: this podcast as they're listening right now. But the reality is, Ardrey,
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to think about Parker said this before
Speaker 1: on different podcasts, but when you think about and I
Speaker 1: know you're just a sophomore, but when you think about dating,
Speaker 1: even as a sophomore, you got to be thinking about
Speaker 1: dating for marriage. Otherwise it's not worth it. You're not
Speaker 1: just dating for fun. You're gonna be dating because ultimately, Audrey,
Speaker 1: you want to find your future husband, the person you're
Speaker 1: going to spend the rest of your life with, and
Speaker 1: the person you're God willing going to make babies with.
Speaker 1: And the last thing you want in raising babies is
Speaker 1: having an internal conflict with your spouse about where to
Speaker 1: go to church on Sundays and what to teach them.
Speaker 1: And it matters now. It matters right now because this
Speaker 1: kind of stuff leads to really bad relationships, and you
Speaker 1: want to catch it now before your heart falls. And
Speaker 1: like Parker said, the f wort into your feelings. You
Speaker 1: want to catch it now before you really start liking
Speaker 1: them a lot, and then you fall in love with him,
Speaker 1: and then it gets a lot harder to to kind
Speaker 1: of get all this situated. So I'm just gonna tell
Speaker 1: you straight up, this is how that that's how it's
Speaker 1: gonna happen. And there's there is this you know you
Speaker 1: want to tell in the gospel because that's you're going
Speaker 1: to be convicted to do that, and he's going to
Speaker 1: resist it because that's just not how he was raised.
Speaker 1: And then at that point, as the Bible says, you're
Speaker 1: gonna have to shake the dust off of your feet
Speaker 1: and keep on moving. Yep. Next question, Oh man, we're
Speaker 1: just right. We're right into another one here, says question
Speaker 1: about dating before marriage. It's like it just naturally, guys.
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't order these questions on this podcast.
Speaker 1: I promise you is random. Okay, I just not. It
Speaker 1: would be much easier if he did. It would be easier.
Speaker 1: One of these days, I should hire a producer that
Speaker 1: like gets these and writes them out and fixes the
Speaker 1: spelling errors and like puts it in a nice order.
Speaker 1: But right now, it's random. And this is why it's crazy,
Speaker 1: because we're just flowing right into another. One says Hey Granger,
Speaker 1: this is Logan from Dunville, Ontario. I'm a big fan,
Speaker 1: and I have a question about sex and dating. Look
Speaker 1: at this, Parker, I'm fifteen. Here we go. This is
Speaker 1: another one a young listener. This is random. This is
Speaker 1: like a random episode. Guys. I'm fifteen and I'm not
Speaker 1: dating yet, but I have questions. I know the Bible
Speaker 1: says not to have sex before marriage, and I don't
Speaker 1: plan to, but what about other stuff like being naked
Speaker 1: in front of them and stuff like that. I have
Speaker 1: read the Bible and found nothing about how far you
Speaker 1: can go before marriage. Thanks for your time and I
Speaker 1: hope you visit Southern Ontario soon. Logan Parker, this got you,
Speaker 1: This got you all over it. This question. I got
Speaker 1: this from pastor named Jonathan Piccluda, and he said, shout
Speaker 1: out to Waco, Texas. If we were on a hike
Speaker 1: and we were next to a cliff and you came
Speaker 1: up to me and you said how close do you
Speaker 1: think I could get to the edge of this cliff?
Speaker 1: Then I would say, well, do you want to jump off?
Speaker 1: Because it sounds like you're wanting to get really close.
Speaker 1: This is so good and so it's a very defensive question.
Speaker 1: And if we're looking for ways to shape our lives
Speaker 1: around the context of the scripture into what we wanted
Speaker 1: to say. Then it's a dangerous game. And so the body.
Speaker 1: You know, what the Bible does say is that we're
Speaker 1: not to have a hint of sexual immorality, not a
Speaker 1: hint of it. So I don't know about you, but
Speaker 1: I feel like that's pretty clear. Yeah, being naked in
Speaker 1: front of someone else that you're not married to is
Speaker 1: probably there. Does the Bible say that you should not
Speaker 1: be naked specifically in bed next to somebody? No, But
Speaker 1: why if it says that you are not to have
Speaker 1: sex outside of the covenant of marriage, why would you
Speaker 1: It would be really hard not to if you were
Speaker 1: both naked, So why would you even put yourself in
Speaker 1: that situation? You're making both of your lives much harder.
Speaker 1: I put a lot of these clips of these podcasts
Speaker 1: on TikTok, and do you when you're speaking, do you
Speaker 1: ever think that this might be a TikTok video of
Speaker 1: you with some nice music in the background and you're
Speaker 1: saying this stuff, Because that's what I was just thinking.
Speaker 1: I was like, this is gonna make a great TikTok. Yeah,
Speaker 1: now I do, all right, I'm gonna I'm gonna move
Speaker 1: on to man. So many good ones, so many good ones.
Speaker 1: Here's one. A couple of weeks ago, I was with
Speaker 1: I think it was with Chad and we read a
Speaker 1: question about someone who says they have an angry husband. Well,
Speaker 1: this was kind of a reply to that, and the
Speaker 1: subject says I am the angry husband and says, hey,
Speaker 1: I saw your posts on Facebook talking about the angry husband,
Speaker 1: and now I'm the one she was talking about. But
Speaker 1: for some reason, I've been that angry your husband lately.
Speaker 1: I don't know why, and I don't know what to
Speaker 1: do to stop it. It's been causing issues lately, from
Speaker 1: my wife being mad at me, or my two sons
Speaker 1: hearing me say things I shouldn't. My two year old
Speaker 1: keeps repeating me, and I'm just not sure how to
Speaker 1: calm down and chill out. It's pretty straightforward, man. Thank
Speaker 1: you dude. The fact that you emailed this and you
Speaker 1: just you were so honest, that's pretty great of you,
Speaker 1: and I think that's what an incredible first step for
Speaker 1: you to just go out here on this podcast, email
Speaker 1: me who you don't even know personally, and just lay
Speaker 1: it all out and admit that you're seeing a problem
Speaker 1: that could get worse, and then it's having a negative
Speaker 1: impact on your family. So there's so much to say
Speaker 1: just for that step right there, and I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: And so it's almost like here we go again with
Speaker 1: an addiction, and we can almost relate it to pornography
Speaker 1: in a way where I would say, Okay, you need accountability, buddy,
Speaker 1: someone you could trust, wise counsel that you could trust,
Speaker 1: someone that has a just a good hearted man of
Speaker 1: integrity that you could just say, hey, man, I got
Speaker 1: to tell you I'm dealing with Let's just call it
Speaker 1: an addiction, right, Let's call it like it is. Let's
Speaker 1: call it an addiction, and just say I have an
Speaker 1: addiction to anger and it's messing up my family and
Speaker 1: I want to stop it. I want to know, like
Speaker 1: you said here, how to just calm down and chill out.
Speaker 1: Can you help me be accountable? Can you call me
Speaker 1: at ten am every weekday and just say, hey, buddy,
Speaker 1: how are you doing? How'd you do yesterday? And you
Speaker 1: could report back and say I did pretty good. There
Speaker 1: was a time when I slipped up. Another thing we
Speaker 1: can go to is what's triggering this? Can you identify
Speaker 1: what's triggering this anger. Is there something? Is it something
Speaker 1: simple like lack of sleep that gets to me If
Speaker 1: I have an early flight and I get up at
Speaker 1: four am, or I get up at three am and
Speaker 1: I have to be the airport at four am and
Speaker 1: I got a five am flight, and then at three
Speaker 1: pm that day, I'm getting mad at everybody. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: said the other day. Whenever I'm low on sleep from
Speaker 1: an early morning flight, I know not to trust myself
Speaker 1: for the majority of that day until I have a nap. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I can't trust myself because you treat you hear in
Speaker 1: your mind, you go, I just got mad at that
Speaker 1: guy for not really that big a deal, And five
Speaker 1: minutes later I got mad at another person for not
Speaker 1: really that big a deal. What's the common denominator? It's me. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's me. I should probably shut up today until I
Speaker 1: take a nap. Like, hey, I'm not saying that your
Speaker 1: problem is that simple. I hope that is. I hope
Speaker 1: you can go. Yeah, it's because I get up early
Speaker 1: and I'm staying up too late. Maybe it's it's just stress, man.
Speaker 1: This world is is stressful. Maybe your job, maybe you're
Speaker 1: dealing with a possible layoff, maybe you're you're seeing all
Speaker 1: this government stuff and you're you're insecure about your longevity
Speaker 1: of your job, and you're coming home and your wife
Speaker 1: ask what kind of noodles you want in your spaghetti,
Speaker 1: and you're like that, I don't care what I'm having
Speaker 1: in my spaghetti. I'm about to lose my job. You
Speaker 1: don't say it, but you're thinking that is it that?
Speaker 1: My point is, whatever it is, Can you identify the
Speaker 1: source of the anger that will help you a lot. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that's what's most important. And then something that
Speaker 1: you can do when those things do come up, that's like,
Speaker 1: what can I like physically do in the moment is
Speaker 1: I would say to remove yourself from the situation for
Speaker 1: a moment, and you're always five breasts away from getting
Speaker 1: back to center clear headedness, do a six second inhale
Speaker 1: and then a six second exhale five times and watch
Speaker 1: how your heart rate will slow and you'll go, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm in a more emotionally stable state of mind. Now,
Speaker 1: so good. I'll tell you one more thing. This is
Speaker 1: what helps me is some form of journaling. Now, this
Speaker 1: isn't like a seventeen year old girl writing a diary
Speaker 1: about her boyfriend. This is not what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about It could be on your phone. I
Speaker 1: use an app called day one. What do you do?
Speaker 1: You got me on Day one? Okay? Super simple? It's
Speaker 1: an app. I'm not even promoting them for any reason
Speaker 1: other than it's just easy. But there's a million apps.
Speaker 1: You could use the notes on your phone, or you
Speaker 1: could actually use good old fashioned pen and paper, you know,
Speaker 1: and make it super simple. So get a routine. Mine's
Speaker 1: in the morning, maybe yours could be at night. It
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. Pick a routine and stick with it, and
Speaker 1: you're Your journal could look like this. It's raining this morning,
Speaker 1: had a had I worked late last night, got in,
Speaker 1: got the kids are still sleeping, about to get dressed
Speaker 1: and go to work. It could be as simple as that.
Speaker 1: And then under that, I would encourage you to write
Speaker 1: a to write a list of three to four things
Speaker 1: that you're grateful for right now, and and hey, aim low.
Speaker 1: It could be simple. It could be I'm grateful for
Speaker 1: sixty five degree weather outside could be super it used
Speaker 1: to be super hot, or it could be super cold,
Speaker 1: but it's sixty five. I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful
Speaker 1: for a roof over my head. Could be simple like
Speaker 1: I'm saying, doesn't have to be I'm grateful because I
Speaker 1: got a raise at Worke. Hey aim low. But the
Speaker 1: the the active discipline of keeping a gratitude journal matters
Speaker 1: in your brain. It affects you when you start acknowledging
Speaker 1: your gratefulness in your day and your life. Then it
Speaker 1: puts a different perspective on your day as you move forward.
Speaker 1: That's why I like doing again in the morning. But
Speaker 1: I think you would see some big changes. If you
Speaker 1: seek wise counsel, someone keeps you accountable, you identify the
Speaker 1: triggers of the anger, and you keep a gratitude journal.
Speaker 1: I think you could start seeing some changes. Let's move
Speaker 1: to another one here, let's see I have there's a
Speaker 1: couple of dating ones part. Here's one It says, Hey, grangeer,
Speaker 1: do you have any thoughts on how long a couple
Speaker 1: should date before they start thinking about getting married? I
Speaker 1: know a difference, it's different between different couples, but there
Speaker 1: are things. Are there things that I should have experienced
Speaker 1: before deciding to spend the rest of our lives together?
Speaker 1: Thanks Brett. You should date as long as it takes
Speaker 1: to decide that they would be a suitable spouse. Why
Speaker 1: would you date any longer than that? Drop the next question.
Speaker 1: I don't think that there's a set in stone. It
Speaker 1: would be nice if someone was like you will date
Speaker 1: for one year in three months, and that is the
Speaker 1: appropriate amount of time to know if someone is a
Speaker 1: suitable spouse to marry or not. He says, are there
Speaker 1: things that we should have experienced before deciding to spend
Speaker 1: the rest of our lives together? Is there any specific
Speaker 1: event they should experience together as a couple before he
Speaker 1: decides that I don't think. I think that when you
Speaker 1: find what you're looking for, then there's not specific seasons
Speaker 1: that you have to see somebody in. You know, if
Speaker 1: I have a two hundred dollars gift card for Amazon,
Speaker 1: and I go on Amazon then and I don't have
Speaker 1: any idea of what I'm gonna buy, then I could
Speaker 1: get a vacuum, I could get a coffee mug. I
Speaker 1: could get a new flat screen TV. I could get
Speaker 1: a bowling ball, like I could get all of these
Speaker 1: random things. But if I have a specific list, and
Speaker 1: I don't know the situation here, but if I have
Speaker 1: a specific list of the person that I'm looking for.
Speaker 1: Then as the amount of time that it takes for
Speaker 1: me to be certain of the characteristics that they have
Speaker 1: what I'm looking for, then it's like you found what
Speaker 1: you're looking for, and to bring Christ into it again.
Speaker 1: I can't answer this question without bringing Christ into it.
Speaker 1: If there has never been a divorce in the history
Speaker 1: of the world of two people who are radically following
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ. Never in history has there ever been a
Speaker 1: divorce between two people radically following Jesus Christ. And so
Speaker 1: I have to say that that is first and foremost
Speaker 1: what I'm looking for in my spouse, because I want
Speaker 1: a lasting marriage. And so I don't know about this
Speaker 1: specific situation, but I would say that you find what
Speaker 1: you're looking for. There is not a black and white
Speaker 1: season that you have to see your spouse. And I
Speaker 1: could say that the exact thing happened to me and Amber.
Speaker 1: Both of us, you know, had our share of dating.
Speaker 1: I met Amber when I was twenty nine years old
Speaker 1: and she was twenty seven, and I dated her for
Speaker 1: let's see, I started really started dating her. I met
Speaker 1: her in February, started dating her in March, March, April, May, June,
Speaker 1: and I bought her engagement ring in June. That was
Speaker 1: four months. So I didn't have that template that you
Speaker 1: just spoke of of, you know, what'd you say, date
Speaker 1: until you know that you're meeting the criteria. I didn't
Speaker 1: think about that. But all I did know was, yeah,
Speaker 1: she's the one, and I wasn't I'm not talking about
Speaker 1: like a mystical like there's seven billion people on the
Speaker 1: planet and she's the one that the stars aligned and like.
Speaker 1: It wasn't that. It was like, this one is perfect
Speaker 1: for me, The Amber's perfect. And I had dated enough
Speaker 1: to know I felt like maybe that even matter, Maybe
Speaker 1: the dating didn't even matter. It could just be we
Speaker 1: just clicked. And so four months go by. We casually
Speaker 1: dated at the beginning, and then it ramped up, and
Speaker 1: by four months I was buying a ring, and then
Speaker 1: I proposed in September, and then we got married in February.
Speaker 1: So I literally met her and married her one year
Speaker 1: from the one I met her, was engaged seven months after,
Speaker 1: and bought a ring four months after. So I didn't
Speaker 1: think about any kind of mathematical problem with this. I
Speaker 1: just it just felt right. And so to you, Brett,
Speaker 1: we didn't experience any we didn't go to like the
Speaker 1: Grand Canyon, or we didn't do something that we felt
Speaker 1: like we needed a certain experience for it to matter.
Speaker 1: We just just worked and I would I would say,
Speaker 1: does it fit? Does it work? Go for it? Let's say,
Speaker 1: let's say one more part. Okay, I have no idea
Speaker 1: what this was about to say, but the subject line
Speaker 1: is why does it seem like nothing goes right for me? Hey,
Speaker 1: gran Dream. My name is Ella and I'm a freshman
Speaker 1: in high school. Another another teenager. My question is why
Speaker 1: does it seem like nothing goes right in my life?
Speaker 1: I am always working to do my best in school
Speaker 1: with my grades, but I end up failing. And I
Speaker 1: try to be the best daughter and sister to my
Speaker 1: two brothers, but they always act like it doesn't I
Speaker 1: don't matter, or doesn't don't exist anymore. I feel like
Speaker 1: my parents don't love me anymore, and all they care
Speaker 1: about are my brothers. They make me feel like I'm
Speaker 1: a burden. I'm just shoving my feelings deep down and
Speaker 1: not telling anyone what's going on in my head. But
Speaker 1: after a while I get really depressed and I overthink
Speaker 1: everything again. How do I make the cycle stop? I
Speaker 1: want to be happy and I want to do well
Speaker 1: in school, but my thoughts get in the way. Your
Speaker 1: advice would really help me keep doing amazing work. Your
Speaker 1: podcast really help me. Thank you so Ella, freshman how old?
Speaker 1: Was a freshman? Fifteen? Yeah? I was fifteen, My freshman
Speaker 1: fifteen years old? Man, this is like the trifecta of
Speaker 1: fifteen year olds. Thank you Ella for emailing. Thank you
Speaker 1: for the kind words about the podcast and listening and
Speaker 1: telling me that it helps you, because then that that
Speaker 1: just makes me feel like it matters. I want to
Speaker 1: validate your feelings. You're fifteen, and these kind of feelings
Speaker 1: are normal. You're not different, you're not an outcast. You're
Speaker 1: having these conflicting thoughts and feelings and that's part of growing.
Speaker 1: And so let me say this, Ella, You're not gonna
Speaker 1: have these same kind of conflicting, confusing thoughts when you're
Speaker 1: twenty five, and you're gonna have less of them when
Speaker 1: you're thirty five, and even less when you're forty five.
Speaker 1: And their problems will change, and you'll have problems, but
Speaker 1: they will change, and it's not gonna be when I
Speaker 1: look back at me in high school, when I try
Speaker 1: to think about the scenarios I was in in high school.
Speaker 1: I think about myself as a horse with blinders on,
Speaker 1: and I only saw like this tiny little space in
Speaker 1: front of me. I didn't know what was going on
Speaker 1: in my peripherals at all, and I was easily distracted.
Speaker 1: And but when I returned, the blinders turned with me.
Speaker 1: So then I forget where I'm walking and bump into
Speaker 1: a wall. It's literally that's my high school I have.
Speaker 1: I have so vague memories of walking those halls. So
Speaker 1: I hear you, I hear you. What do you What
Speaker 1: do you tell Ella Parker? Well, it's hard. You have
Speaker 1: to You have to answer it for who she is,
Speaker 1: which is a fifteen year old. And I would answer,
Speaker 1: well when she made fourteen or fifteen, But you know,
Speaker 1: you'd answer it differently for different people at different stages
Speaker 1: in life, like you said, And so, I mean, I
Speaker 1: think that someone is a freshman in high school. They
Speaker 1: they need to try to focus on gratitude, try to
Speaker 1: keep that gratitude a little bit above whatever's going on,
Speaker 1: and force herself to be grateful and to not follow
Speaker 1: her feelings even if she's you know, feeling maybe feeling
Speaker 1: depressed or anxious. I think that how important is it
Speaker 1: to be surrounded with a good group of friends, to
Speaker 1: be involved in something, to stay active. You know, we're
Speaker 1: not made to walk this path alone, and we're a
Speaker 1: promise suffering like life is going to be tough and
Speaker 1: it's not gonna be all sunshine and rainbows. But to
Speaker 1: not not fall into a victim mentality either and think
Speaker 1: that everybody's out to get her, because that's that's a
Speaker 1: form of pride as well as someone who is it's
Speaker 1: very common to think of yourself too much, and then
Speaker 1: you become self centered and you become miserable because you're
Speaker 1: thinking of yourself so much and thinking that people are
Speaker 1: out to get you, and you grow this victim mentality.
Speaker 1: So you know, I saw someone say on on TikTok
Speaker 1: actually the other day talking about self love and how
Speaker 1: we're supposed to love our learn to love ourself first
Speaker 1: and then we can love other second, when in reality,
Speaker 1: we are made to love others first. When we're thinking
Speaker 1: of ourselves and trying to raise our self esteem ourselves
Speaker 1: doing it all ourselves, then we get entrapped in this
Speaker 1: snowball of depression, whereas we're not meant to just slowly,
Speaker 1: you know, solely focus on ourselves. We're meant to, you know,
Speaker 1: to focus on others and figure out rather how much
Speaker 1: the world is out to get me. How can I
Speaker 1: provide value for others? How can I go get involved?
Speaker 1: How can I go help out a friend with their
Speaker 1: homework or someone who's not getting talked to at the
Speaker 1: lunch table. And when you start doing those things, then
Speaker 1: I think that will improve your self love as well.
Speaker 1: I want to speak something into you. I want to
Speaker 1: tell you that you are telling, constantly telling lies to yourself.
Speaker 1: And I can tell you because I'm reading it. You're
Speaker 1: you're trying to be the best daughter, and then in
Speaker 1: your mind you go, but you're not. You're trying to
Speaker 1: be the best sister. But in your mind you're saying
Speaker 1: you're not. You're selling. You're telling yourself. My parents don't
Speaker 1: love me anymore. My brothers think I don't exist anymore.
Speaker 1: All my parents care about is my brothers. I am
Speaker 1: a burden. I have problems with depression, I have problems overthinking.
Speaker 1: I have problems stuck in a cycle. And you're constantly
Speaker 1: lying to yourself and they're the biggest problem in your situation,
Speaker 1: right now is you are lying to yourself about all
Speaker 1: your surroundings, so unlike me when I was in high
Speaker 1: school and I have the blinders on. I want you
Speaker 1: to not be like me. I want you to take
Speaker 1: the blinders off for a second and just stop lying
Speaker 1: to yourself. And I say it harshly like that, because
Speaker 1: that's the reality is. You need to say, wait a minute,
Speaker 1: of course, my parents love me. Why would I say
Speaker 1: my parents don't love me anymore? I'm their one and
Speaker 1: only daughter. Yes, they love me. Why do I keep
Speaker 1: telling myself my brothers think I don't exist. I'm clearly
Speaker 1: right here in the house. Obviously I exist. That is
Speaker 1: a lie. I want you to also think about your grades.
Speaker 1: You said, I want to do my best in school
Speaker 1: in my grades, but I end up failing. That's an
Speaker 1: action you could take right now. That's it. That's it.
Speaker 1: Out of everything you've said, that's that's one of the
Speaker 1: things you can go. Hold up, Hold up, hold up, okay,
Speaker 1: let's let's what class that I failed? Why did I
Speaker 1: fail it? Do I need tutoring? Do I need to
Speaker 1: get with a buddy that's gonna help me with this subject?
Speaker 1: Maybe it's math, Maybe it's science, whatever. Let me find
Speaker 1: a buddy that's gonna help me. I got to get
Speaker 1: a I gotta start reeling some of this stuff in.
Speaker 1: Take accountability for yourself, which is difficult. It's man. If
Speaker 1: I could have told myself this, I would have been
Speaker 1: so much better, but that I had the blinders on.
Speaker 1: So if you could take accountability for yourself and move
Speaker 1: forward and say, hey, mom and dad, I'm struggling in math,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go and get a math tutor, or I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go and have a wise counsel friend that's gonna
Speaker 1: help me. And your parents are gonna go Ella. That's amazing,
Speaker 1: that's really great. And these little self accountability things you
Speaker 1: could do for yourself will change everything thing. It will matter,
Speaker 1: and it's slow increments. Aim low. Don't set too high
Speaker 1: of expectations for yourself. You're not gonna get val Victorian
Speaker 1: and be the Homecoming Queen and win the award for
Speaker 1: best Sister and get the you know, the parents' best
Speaker 1: daughter award. Stop setting these high expectations and go I'm Ella,
Speaker 1: I am who I am. My parents love me, my
Speaker 1: brothers are they think I'm annoying, But it's normal in
Speaker 1: our stage right now of life ten years. It's not
Speaker 1: going to be like that when they're thirty and I'm
Speaker 1: twenty eight. They're not going to think of me as
Speaker 1: this annoying fifteen year old. So self accountability, get over it.
Speaker 1: You're gonna be just fine. Take care of those grades.
Speaker 1: Go tackle that problem right now. Thank you for emailing.
Speaker 1: It matters to me. You matter to me that you emailed. Seriously,
Speaker 1: if I didn't have people like you coming in and
Speaker 1: filling me with these kind of questions, then it wouldn't
Speaker 1: make me think about my own life and want it
Speaker 1: to take accountability for myself and think about how to
Speaker 1: write my own ship. So you matter to me. This
Speaker 1: email is inspiring to me. And this is another one
Speaker 1: of these where I'd say right back one day and
Speaker 1: let me know where you are and how it's going.
Speaker 1: And we love all you guys for listening, stay in tuned,
Speaker 1: keeping this podcast at the top list of the charts
Speaker 1: of music podcast and ironically we didn't even say anything
Speaker 1: about music today. Yeah, if you don't mind leaving a
Speaker 1: review on if you listening on Apple podcasts, that would
Speaker 1: help a lot. Go go drop a review and an
Speaker 1: honest review. Let us know your thoughts and it would
Speaker 1: help out Grainger a lot. Love you guys, See you
Speaker 1: next time. Yigi. Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast.
Speaker 1: I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me
Speaker 1: out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,
Speaker 1: subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and
Speaker 1: notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload
Speaker 1: a video. If you have a question for me that
Speaker 1: you would like me to an answer, email granger Smith
Speaker 1: Podcast at gmail dot com. Ye M.