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Speaker 1: I would ask you to just give us a little

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Speaker 1: bit of grace. I mean, is it really does Is

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Speaker 1: it really necessary to come forth with this this harsh,

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Speaker 1: harsh of a judgment to say I would support you

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Speaker 1: if you started, if you started acting more on your

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Speaker 1: faith and and it's tacky and unnecessary to say it

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Speaker 1: with that, I would just say, hey, he well, pump

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Speaker 1: the brakes a little bit. What's up, guys. Welcome to

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Speaker 1: the podcast. Thank you for listening. Thank you for watching.

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Speaker 1: If you're on YouTube, thank you for listening on Spotify,

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Speaker 1: Apple Music, any other podcast app that you might be

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Speaker 1: coming from. Thank you for making this constantly one of

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Speaker 1: the top podcast in all of music. It's it's been fun.

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Speaker 1: My favorite guest here, Parker Smith repeat from last week.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for coming, dude, Thanks for having me. Parker

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Speaker 1: is thirteen years younger than me, and we have known

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Speaker 1: like three Parkers in my life. One I knew the

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Speaker 1: toddler Parker, like the little kid, and then I moved

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Speaker 1: away and went to college, and by the time I

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Speaker 1: saw him again besides Christmas and Thanksgiving, he was already

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Speaker 1: a high school Parker, and then high school Parker. We

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Speaker 1: kind of separated a little bit, and then he became

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Speaker 1: adult Parker and now we work together. So that's the

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Speaker 1: three versions. You know, sometimes I missed the little kid Parker.

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Speaker 1: What version will we get next? I wonder? No, man,

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Speaker 1: this is it two adults. We're thirteen years apart. So

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Speaker 1: when we were younger, we just felt worlds apart a

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Speaker 1: lot of times. But now it feels it doesn't feel

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Speaker 1: like there's an age difference, besides the fact that I've

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Speaker 1: been married longer. Yeah, and I just show you how

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Speaker 1: to format your Instagram posts true. True. The way that

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Speaker 1: we run this podcast, guys, is you email me Grangersmith

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Speaker 1: Podcast at gmail dot com. I'll check your email, ask

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Speaker 1: me a question, and then we'll answer the question. Like

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Speaker 1: we're just sitting around a campfire you're shooting. Hey, can

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Speaker 1: I ask you a question? It's about a relationship, or

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Speaker 1: about my boss, or about a new job I want

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Speaker 1: to try, or we want to move, or it could

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Speaker 1: be about anything, and Parker and I will walk through it.

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Speaker 1: Parker is also the CEO of Yegee Apparel, our brother

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Speaker 1: apparel line. My middle brother, Tyler is my manager, my

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Speaker 1: business excuse me, my music manager, and he's also co

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Speaker 1: owner of Ygee with me, so we work together. What

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Speaker 1: is going on at ee Apparel. It's been crazy after

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Speaker 1: the fall lunch. You guys are finally catching up after that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're getting ready for a big push heading into the

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Speaker 1: end of the year. Finally caught up on orders at

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Speaker 1: this point by the time you're listening to this, and

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Speaker 1: so you should get your order fairly quickly if you

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Speaker 1: ordered today. And then we have some cool We have

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Speaker 1: actually the biggest thing that we've ever done, releasing on

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Speaker 1: Black Friday, which is Project X, and we will be

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Speaker 1: teasing that sometime in November, and that is going to

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Speaker 1: be extremely exciting day for ee Are you excited? Yeah? Man,

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Speaker 1: this has been in the works for a long time,

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Speaker 1: so much research, so much field trials to make sure

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Speaker 1: this is exactly right Project X, and you guys talk

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Speaker 1: about it. We have another podcast called the Eegee Podcast.

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Speaker 1: It comes out on Wednesdays. You're on almost every episode

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Speaker 1: of that, right, Yes, so that's with Hayden and Parker.

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Speaker 1: I'm not on it that I'm maybe once a month

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Speaker 1: Hayden invites me. But you guys have talked about Project X.

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Speaker 1: I just retweeted something you guys, a little clip you

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Speaker 1: put from that podcast, but I'm so pumped about that. Hey,

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Speaker 1: I got to ask you, what if someone listening now

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Speaker 1: wants to work at the ee farm for you, if

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Speaker 1: they are local in the Austin area and they can

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Speaker 1: work more than twenty hours a week, then email store

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Speaker 1: at yeapparel dot com with your resume and we'll go

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Speaker 1: through them and we may be able to use you. Great.

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Speaker 1: Let's get to this first question here. It comes from

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Speaker 1: a girl named Amber, a name I'm very familiar with,

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Speaker 1: says Hey, Granger, how would you feel about a man

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Speaker 1: that your wife and you met together at the same

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Speaker 1: time sending your wife a friend request and not you.

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Speaker 1: This happened to me recently. A woman that my husband

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Speaker 1: and I met at a dinner party sent my husband

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Speaker 1: a friend request but not me. I thought this was strange,

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Speaker 1: and my husband said that he didn't want to accept

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Speaker 1: the request until she sent me one. I don't want

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Speaker 1: to blow the situation out of proportion, but it gave

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Speaker 1: me a weird feeling. What are your thoughts. It's interesting. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's very specific and a little uneasiness, maybe a little insecurity.

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Speaker 1: Not to say that's not a strange situation. She was

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Speaker 1: probably pretty probably maybe a little intimidated by her. Nothing

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Speaker 1: against your amber. I think it's a valid question. And

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Speaker 1: let me say it this way. You can't control anything

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Speaker 1: that happens outside of your marriage to you, guys, all

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Speaker 1: you can control is how you and your husband react

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Speaker 1: to it. So, yes, it's at one level, it's weird.

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Speaker 1: It's weird that you would get at friend request, that

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Speaker 1: he would get a friend request, not you. But on

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Speaker 1: another level, it's almost like, well, the world's gonna do

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Speaker 1: what the world's going to do. You didn't know this

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Speaker 1: guy or this girl, and you can't really trust someone

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Speaker 1: that you don't know for just from one time meeting

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Speaker 1: at a dinner party, And so I think you're you're

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Speaker 1: valid and being uneasy about it. But it's not that

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Speaker 1: big a deal if your husband just ignores it. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: at the end of the day, it's like she probably

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Speaker 1: has a crush on your husband, so what So yeah,

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Speaker 1: it shouldn't affect anything. Yeah, and that's a conversation between

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Speaker 1: you and your husband. And I don't think you're wrong

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Speaker 1: and telling your husband don't accept it, that's weird. I

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Speaker 1: don't think you're being a crazy jealous wife. I don't

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Speaker 1: think you're being out of line. I think he would

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Speaker 1: probably do the same thing right back to you. It's

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Speaker 1: no big deal. It's weird that it happened, but move on.

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Speaker 1: Ignore it. And it's it's uncalled for, it's it's a

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Speaker 1: it's unnatural, man. I got I got a lot of

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Speaker 1: questions for you, Parker that I kind of set aside.

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Speaker 1: And oh, this is interesting, this is an interesting one.

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Speaker 1: I want to read this to you. I've been holding

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Speaker 1: onto this since September. It says the subject line is

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Speaker 1: ye Ye quote faith family outdoors. That's something we say

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Speaker 1: a lot at EE a perils family outdoors. It says,

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Speaker 1: I've noticed faith family outdoors on your EE apparel, but

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Speaker 1: I haven't noticed faith as a part of YEE. Yes,

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Speaker 1: we see Granger sharing as faith regularly and occasionally Parker

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Speaker 1: and Tyler, but not YEE itself. Faith doesn't seem to

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Speaker 1: be a part of the company as a whole. I

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Speaker 1: purchased YEE in the past, and I would purchase more

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Speaker 1: and be more interested if faith were more prevalent. I

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Speaker 1: get that you have a dedicated fan base who likes

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Speaker 1: the outdoors redneck country lifestyle represented by the company. If

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Speaker 1: but and you want to cater to that, but using

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Speaker 1: faith as part of the tagline seems tacky and unnecessary

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Speaker 1: if the company itself isn't going to actually represent Christian

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Speaker 1: values or share the Gospel in any way through the brand.

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Speaker 1: I thought that just blew me away when I read that.

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Speaker 1: It blew me away because I want to ask, what

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Speaker 1: what do you think, ye yee? Is it is us?

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Speaker 1: It is me Parker and Tyler. We're the ones that

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Speaker 1: started it. And if we're the ones sharing the gospel

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Speaker 1: and sharing our faith all the time, then what do

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Speaker 1: you want from yee that we are? Ye? Right? Isn't

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Speaker 1: that kind of what you think? Yeah? I agree. I remember.

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Speaker 1: I remember having a conversation with our team when when

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Speaker 1: I first decided to make our tagline Faith Family Outdoors,

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Speaker 1: And I remember having conversation with a gal who goes,

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Speaker 1: are you sure you want that to be in our

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Speaker 1: bio of ye apparel? Because that faith could turn some

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Speaker 1: people away? Having a conversation with a guy internally, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, yes, one hundred percent, and he goes, okay,

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Speaker 1: also that that faith doesn't necessarily align with some of

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Speaker 1: the things that we're posting right now, And that was

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Speaker 1: a big wake up call to me to be like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: well it should. So if you look at our page

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Speaker 1: two years ago versus what we're posting today, there is

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Speaker 1: a stone difference of the type of content that we're

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Speaker 1: promoting that was I mean before it was really promoting

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Speaker 1: drunkenness and uh and a lot of cussing and things

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Speaker 1: that were not you know, necessarily rooted in a company

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Speaker 1: that is going to use the tagline of faith. And

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Speaker 1: so yeah, I think that we do a good job

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Speaker 1: of representing that on our personal pages and on the

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Speaker 1: EE platform. Now, yeah, to to this emailer, I would

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Speaker 1: ask you to just give us a little bit of grace.

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Speaker 1: I mean, is it really does Is it really necessary

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Speaker 1: to come forth with this this harsh, harsh of a

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Speaker 1: judgment to say I would support you if you started,

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Speaker 1: if you started acting more on your faith and and

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Speaker 1: it's tacky and unnecessary to say it with that, I

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Speaker 1: would just say, hey, he well, pump the brakes a

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Speaker 1: little bit. I mean, do you not fall There has

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Speaker 1: been a big change in the Three Brothers over the

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Speaker 1: last two years. Another question I get constantly is a

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Speaker 1: question along the lines where of hey, don't you think

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Speaker 1: that you singing earl debbils. Singing about getting drunk is

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Speaker 1: not representing the faith that you talk about. And I'm

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Speaker 1: just there's that's such a loaded question because I'm like, man,

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Speaker 1: that was in twenty eleven. It's a very very different.

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Speaker 1: It's it's also a very valid question because I asked

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Speaker 1: myself that question too when I whenever I would consider

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Speaker 1: myself a born again radical follower of Christ, I remember

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Speaker 1: texting you and saying, I don't see any other way

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Speaker 1: to follow Christ than to become basically a pastor. At

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Speaker 1: this point, I need to stop everything. I need to

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Speaker 1: quit everything. And the only thing that I do is

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Speaker 1: go to seminary and start my own plant, my own church.

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Speaker 1: And it's like so and so for the people ask

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Speaker 1: you that, it's like grandeur. The only thing you literally

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Speaker 1: need to be singing is is gospel and worship every

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Speaker 1: single song. You need to stop your career and halt it.

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Speaker 1: Ye apparel needs to stop. Every post and every single

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Speaker 1: post needs to be sharing the gospel. And it's like,

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Speaker 1: I just think that there's ways to I think that

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Speaker 1: there's ways to grow where we're planted, where Christ finds us,

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Speaker 1: so that we can promote the gospel to his glory

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Speaker 1: in the best way we know through what we're doing,

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Speaker 1: not necessarily quitting everything and opening a church. Right. But

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Speaker 1: I mean, my transformation happened, you know, even since the

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Speaker 1: latest album. You know, because the latest album was done

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Speaker 1: and wrapped up before the crazy transformation happened to me.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, we think about it all the time. If

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Speaker 1: you go to my concert. Now, here's a good example.

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Speaker 1: You go to my concert now, Earl Dibbles Junior. The

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Speaker 1: bridge of the countrybou song is getting country junk in

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Speaker 1: the back of my truck. The night is young gonna

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Speaker 1: get messed up. That's the bridge and has been over

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Speaker 1: the years a really big moment of the show. I

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Speaker 1: stopped it. I don't do that anymore because I felt

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Speaker 1: convicted about it. So now that part, instead of that line,

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Speaker 1: I changed it to wherever city we are, I'll say

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Speaker 1: it's in Nebraska celebration we are Ye Ye Nation. It's

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Speaker 1: in Nebraska celebration, we are ye Nation. So I change

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Speaker 1: it to wherever we are and that's the new line.

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Speaker 1: So so there's like little things that we shave off

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Speaker 1: here and there, but man, we're working on it. Please

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Speaker 1: please do the email or pump your breaks a little

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Speaker 1: bit and give us a little bit of grace. You

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Speaker 1: sound like you got a lot figured out, and I

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Speaker 1: wish I wish I was more like you, and I'm

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Speaker 1: working on it. I'll say that. Here's a quick one.

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Speaker 1: I just went right to it. It It says, dear Granger,

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Speaker 1: please tell me what are your thoughts on race mixing

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Speaker 1: and racial integration. I was a little surprised by that.

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Speaker 1: But man, good, good with it, that's my answer. Oh,

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Speaker 1: good with it. I don't know because because of the question,

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Speaker 1: I don't know where you're leaning with that are what

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Speaker 1: you're needing out of me? But man, see, I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: bat an eye at it. I wouldn't think twice about it.

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Speaker 1: So that's my answer. Yep, I agreed. Family issues, Hey Granger,

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Speaker 1: I'm Charles Holly. I'm thirteen, and I have a problem.

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Speaker 1: So for a while, my dad's brothers have been sucking

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Speaker 1: up to his mom for money instead of working. My

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Speaker 1: dad is very mad at his brothers and does not

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Speaker 1: want to confront his mom because she has been through

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Speaker 1: cancer several times. So I would love your advice. Please

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Speaker 1: reply if you're going to put this on the podcast,

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Speaker 1: in which episode God bless Charles, Holly, dad is Dad's

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Speaker 1: brother has been sucking up the mom for money instead

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Speaker 1: of working, and Dad's very mad. But he doesn't confront mom.

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Speaker 1: But does he confront the brother. That's where he needs

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Speaker 1: to do. He doesn't need to confront mom. I get that,

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Speaker 1: But does he confront the brother. That's Hey, Charles, this

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Speaker 1: is this is between your dad and his brothers. You're thirteen.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate your concern, but this is this is on

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Speaker 1: your dad. We have to at some level be men

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Speaker 1: of integrity, and Dad, Charles is watching. You do the

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Speaker 1: right thing. If it's not a big deal, if you

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Speaker 1: don't care that much, then don't worry about it. If

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Speaker 1: you don't worry that mom's given your brother money, don't

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Speaker 1: worry about it. If you do care that much about it,

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Speaker 1: go to your brother and say, hey, we need to talk.

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Speaker 1: We need to talk. You're taking advantage of mom. She's

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Speaker 1: been through cancer. She can't keep doing this. But there's

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Speaker 1: one of these in so many families, there's this kind

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Speaker 1: of situation happens a lot. Communication. Thanks, Charles, you want

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Speaker 1: to read a couple of these to you. Some subject

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Speaker 1: clients know where to go. Man, we're kind of rocking

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Speaker 1: some questions right now, we're moving faster than we normally do. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: how about this one for first one on the list?

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Speaker 1: Now it says help please read pornography. It doesn't say

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Speaker 1: read pornography. It says in parentheses, please help read. And

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Speaker 1: then hey Granger. First of all, just want to say

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Speaker 1: thanks for doing this podcast and making your music. My

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Speaker 1: name is Tim. I'm fifteen, and I have an older

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Speaker 1: brother who's seventeen, who's addicted to pornography. Our parents don't

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Speaker 1: know about this. My question is should I tell our

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Speaker 1: parents about his pornography problem. You also should know that

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Speaker 1: my older brother has a big anger problem, and one

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Speaker 1: of my fears is that if I tell our parents,

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Speaker 1: he's going to beat me up physically. I've been praying

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Speaker 1: for my brother since I found out. I'm just not

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Speaker 1: sure if it's my place to tell our parents about

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Speaker 1: his pornography problem. Also, if I were to tell our parents,

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Speaker 1: how would I go about doing it? I appreciate your thoughts.

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Speaker 1: This is Tim from Idaho. Thank you, Tim shout out

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Speaker 1: to Idaho, appreciate you. Listen. Brother, that's two a young

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Speaker 1: teen in a row that we read here and both

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Speaker 1: of the questions what we could what the analogy between

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Speaker 1: the thirteen year old and the fifteen year old is

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Speaker 1: they're both worried about someone else in the family that's

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Speaker 1: not theirs problem. These questions are hard. Did you think

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Speaker 1: I was going to give you a bunch of easy

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Speaker 1: ones for that? Yes, honestly, because it's one question. It's

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Speaker 1: one thing to be addicted to pornography yourself and to

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Speaker 1: be seeking ways to be freed from that. It's another

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Speaker 1: situation when you add in these complications of is it

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Speaker 1: my place to speak up for someone that I love

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Speaker 1: for what I know is ultimately going to be right

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Speaker 1: for them, even if it's at the expense of potentially

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Speaker 1: some type of physical abuse. I mean, that's just I

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Speaker 1: don't know. Yeah, I hear you so so, Tim, you

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Speaker 1: being afraid of your big brother for you calling him

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Speaker 1: out and he beats you up physically. That's like a

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Speaker 1: different issue. So that's something else that we probably should

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Speaker 1: talk about. That's probably a higher priority than your brother's addiction,

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Speaker 1: because this is what affects you directly, Tim, is the

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Speaker 1: possibility of you getting beaten up. I'm assuming this has

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Speaker 1: happened before, otherwise you wouldn't have said it. That way,

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Speaker 1: you would have said you were scared that he might,

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Speaker 1: but you're scared that he is. So go to your

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Speaker 1: parents with that right, Like go to your parents with

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Speaker 1: that first, Like, Hey, I'm afraid of my older brother

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Speaker 1: that he might beat me up physically. Can we talk

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Speaker 1: about this as a family, because I don't want to

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Speaker 1: live in the house where I'm afraid. That's a great

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Speaker 1: question for mom and dad. And once again, this is

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Speaker 1: just like the last question. This goes back to mom

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Speaker 1: and dad being parents full of integrity that have a

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Speaker 1: household that when you come home from school, any kid

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Speaker 1: that's listening you should you should come home from school

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Speaker 1: to a safe place. When you walk in your house,

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Speaker 1: you're safe from physical abuse, you're safe from name calling,

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Speaker 1: you're safe from verbal abuse of any kind. That's how.

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Speaker 1: It's not always like that, but that's how it should be.

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Speaker 1: So parents should should always be aware that they have

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Speaker 1: a safe place you come home because the world is crazy.

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Speaker 1: You're going to see crazy things at school and at work,

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Speaker 1: but when you come home through our doors, you could

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Speaker 1: relax because this is a safe spot. That's what as

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Speaker 1: a parent, that's what you want your kids to feel.

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Speaker 1: So Tim go to them with that. And as far

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Speaker 1: as the pornography, you love your brother, I think that's great,

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Speaker 1: but there's there's other issues right now. And I would

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Speaker 1: I would take all that energy that you're you're you're

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Speaker 1: throwing out to want to fix your brother and turn

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Speaker 1: that that energy back to yourself and your own life

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Speaker 1: and go, what is it that I'm doing that I

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Speaker 1: could clean up a little bit? You know, like the

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Speaker 1: kid that we read, you know, was it last week

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Speaker 1: about the coffee? You know, how how do I stop

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Speaker 1: being addicted to coffee? And he's fourteen years old? You

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Speaker 1: know that is there something going on with you, Tim

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Speaker 1: that you could help clean up in your own life

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Speaker 1: and and be that, be that example where your your

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Speaker 1: older brother goes, Man, my brother Tim is just a

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Speaker 1: rock solid kid. He's that guy's has got it figured out.

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Speaker 1: And I don't that's a much better example than you

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Speaker 1: two years younger, going you shouldn't do that. I mean,

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Speaker 1: who are you to tell him that? Right? Yeah? I

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Speaker 1: actually I think that you sum that up fairly well.

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Speaker 1: And and I wanted to ask you. I think that

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Speaker 1: there's a lot of guys out there. This is a

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Speaker 1: subject that not a lot of guys like to talk

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Speaker 1: about openly, and there's probably a lot of guys out

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Speaker 1: there who are wondering what steps that they can take

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Speaker 1: to free themselves from the addiction of pornography that has

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Speaker 1: gotten so popular. I am so accessible and so accessible,

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Speaker 1: and I remember growing up not knowing one guy who

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Speaker 1: did not watch pornography, like from middle school on every

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Speaker 1: and it was so normalized and it's continued to be

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Speaker 1: normalized and accessible. Would you have any advice for guys

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Speaker 1: who are are addicted to it at this point, or

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Speaker 1: maybe just explain some of the dangers of it for

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Speaker 1: some people who don't think who it's so normalized that

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Speaker 1: they don't understand the dangers of it. There's two levels.

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Speaker 1: There's two levels to that question. And on one level,

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Speaker 1: you could say, because God doesn't want you to, you know,

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Speaker 1: And I think so many times when we're when we're teaching,

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Speaker 1: like our kids, you shouldn't lie, you shouldn't you shouldn't steal. Why, Well,

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Speaker 1: ultimately we want to tell our kids because God says

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Speaker 1: not to, you should honor your parents. Why because God

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Speaker 1: says to it's right here, let me show you the verse.

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Speaker 1: Let me show you the verse. And so at some

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Speaker 1: level with this, it's like, well, let me show you

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Speaker 1: the verse. So when people hear you say that though

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Speaker 1: that they're going to say, well, God doesn't say not

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Speaker 1: to watch pornography. Well, there's no verse that says that, Yeah, absolutely,

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Speaker 1: but he's gonna say that you you have to flee

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Speaker 1: from any kind of sexual immorality and any kind of

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Speaker 1: sexual temptation. And that's exactly what that is. So that's

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Speaker 1: one level. The second level is just the mental addiction

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Speaker 1: of it and the and the damage that it does.

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Speaker 1: One of okay, you could start with. One of the

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Speaker 1: levels of damage that it does is it will degrade

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Speaker 1: your perception of women and it's gonna it's gonna really,

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Speaker 1: it's gonna really hurt the image you have of the

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Speaker 1: next girlfriend that you have when you're nineteen years old.

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Speaker 1: And so it's here we go back to the cookie

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Speaker 1: jar thing. You know, what is it that's triggering this,

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Speaker 1: Why are you going to it and how are you

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Speaker 1: getting to it? And let's get the cookie jar out

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Speaker 1: of the kitchen. If you're on a diet, you don't

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Speaker 1: want to walk past the cookie driver day. Get it

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Speaker 1: out of the kitchen. So we can start with that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think it has a lot to do with at

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Speaker 1: the root what John Piper says and what he calls

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Speaker 1: his Christian hedonism, which is he says, Okay, what's the

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Speaker 1: definition of hedonism? A pleasure filled life? And so he

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Speaker 1: was the one who really started this movement of Christian hedonism.

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Speaker 1: And it's like, Okay, we have a God, and we

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Speaker 1: know that through following Christ, we will have trial and

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Speaker 1: we will have suffering, but at the same time, we

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Speaker 1: know that that is the only place that we can

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Speaker 1: find the joy and fulfillment that our souls long for.

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Speaker 1: And so when you're when you're searching through you know,

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Speaker 1: pornography or alcohol or drugs, you're saying, I don't trust you.

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Speaker 1: I will figure out how to fill that void myself

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Speaker 1: through these this the dopamine trickle in my brain that

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Speaker 1: comes from doing these short term things. And you're saying,

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Speaker 1: I do not I don't trust your your ability to

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Speaker 1: give me fulfillment and peace. And so I think it's

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Speaker 1: just an honest conversation with yourself at that point, saying

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Speaker 1: that I've been trying to rely upon myself rather than

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Speaker 1: God for the fulfillment that my soul needs. Yeah, so

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Speaker 1: what do you do. And I think an easy answer

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Speaker 1: to that, the quick answer is what we say, seek

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Speaker 1: wise counsel. So you go to a friend, you go

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Speaker 1: to a friend that you could trust, you know is

403
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Speaker 1: a good guy, and you say, can I tell you

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Speaker 1: something that's I'm really embarrassed to say this, but I

405
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Speaker 1: can I tell you man, I can't stop looking at porn.

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Speaker 1: Can you help me? Man? Can you help keep me

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Speaker 1: account I mean, once again, it has to be someone

408
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:04,359
Speaker 1: that you trust, or maybe it's someone that has the

409
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:07,160
Speaker 1: same problem. You both want to work together. But if

410
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,440
Speaker 1: you keep each other accountable, it's amazing what that could

411
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:12,280
Speaker 1: do in your life. And you could literally if you

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Speaker 1: open it up. And now it's an embarrassing topic, but

413
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Speaker 1: if you just open it up and you just say, hey,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to call you every morning and say how'd

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Speaker 1: you do yesterday? And so when you get that urge

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Speaker 1: you want to open your phone and go see something,

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Speaker 1: and you think, oh, I got to talk to my

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Speaker 1: buddy tomorrow on the phone, and I want to clean slate.

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Speaker 1: I want to tell them I didn't do it, or

420
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Speaker 1: you got to be honest and tell them you did.

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Speaker 1: But human accountability is a big deal when it comes

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Speaker 1: to something like this. I know that's not what you're asking, Tim,

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Speaker 1: and I know that we gave you a lot of

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Speaker 1: stuff here, but I appreciate you emailing it, and I

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00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 1: appreciate you listening, and I appreciate you caring about stuff

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Speaker 1: that matters like this, and I hope you get some

427
00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 1: of this stuff ironed out. I love Idaho too, so

428
00:24:58,359 --> 00:25:02,000
Speaker 1: hope to see you next time we come. Parker. Let's

429
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:09,120
Speaker 1: take a break. We'll be right back. Guys. This podcast

430
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:12,199
Speaker 1: today is brought to you by Athletic Greens. I'm on

431
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:15,280
Speaker 1: the road right now reading this advertisement for Athletic Greens

432
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433
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Speaker 1: come out of the road, this is no joke. I

434
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Speaker 1: always bring a bag of Athletic Greens with me. And

435
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Speaker 1: this started. Our relationship started when I first started reading

436
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Speaker 1: for Athletic Greens on this podcast and they sent me

437
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Speaker 1: a sample and then I ran through the sample. It

438
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439
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Speaker 1: the sample and I was like, I got to have

440
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Speaker 1: some more of this stuff. So I literally went on

441
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Speaker 1: and you've heard me say this before. I went to

442
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Speaker 1: Athleticgreens dot com and subscribed for my own product myself,

443
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Speaker 1: and that's a huge testament for this company, Athletic Greens.

444
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Speaker 1: It makes me feel better. It makes me be able

445
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Speaker 1: to jump start my day. I usually do it in

446
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Speaker 1: the morning with a protein shake. I'll go out on

447
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Speaker 1: the road and I'll go work out, and then I'll

448
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Speaker 1: come back and I'll make a little protein shape, get

449
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Speaker 1: some way protein and mix it with two scoops of

450
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Speaker 1: Athletic Greens, throw it in the little blender here on

451
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Speaker 1: the bus, and I'm good to go. I do the

452
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Speaker 1: same thing at home. It allows me to get my

453
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Speaker 1: proper green intake for the day without needing to go

454
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Speaker 1: out and get some salads and stuff like that. And

455
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Speaker 1: you know, if you skip your greens for long enough,

456
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457
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458
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459
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462
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470
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Speaker 1: going to be but you get these two couple scoops

471
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Speaker 1: of this green powder, you put it, you could put

472
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Speaker 1: it in water. It tastes so good. It's got a

473
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Speaker 1: little bit of sweetness to it, and it's amazing. It

474
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Speaker 1: contains seventy five vitamins, minerals, and whole food source ingredients

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478
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479
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480
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Speaker 1: the salad bar and get every single green that they

481
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482
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Speaker 1: packs today. Back to the podcast. Are you wom going

504
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:08,960
Speaker 1: to hit you with some easy ones? I'm not gonna

505
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,680
Speaker 1: do that. I'm going to keep the hard ones going, Parker.

506
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:15,400
Speaker 1: That's what this podcast is about. Hitting the hard questions.

507
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:18,959
Speaker 1: Here's a good one. Equally Yoked Relationships is the subject.

508
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:21,240
Speaker 1: It says, Hey Granger, my name is Audrey. I'm a

509
00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:24,040
Speaker 1: sophomore in high school and I live in Boise, Idaho.

510
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:26,600
Speaker 1: That's two Idaho is in a row, and that's two.

511
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:29,560
Speaker 1: That's three teenagers in a row. Huge fan of your

512
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:31,320
Speaker 1: podcast and all that you do to shed the light

513
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:33,000
Speaker 1: of Jesus to so many people. I look up to

514
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:36,400
Speaker 1: your wisdom and what you do. So thank you. Thank you, Audrey.

515
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:40,400
Speaker 1: I appreciate that, says. I've grown up in church and

516
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:42,800
Speaker 1: live a Christian life. I have a strong faith in Jesus,

517
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:45,239
Speaker 1: especially in these times. In one of my classes, there

518
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:48,920
Speaker 1: is a boy that is not only attractive physically, but

519
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:51,200
Speaker 1: he's also very kind to me, and it feels like

520
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:54,680
Speaker 1: we've been best friends for years. I've recently felt feelings

521
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:58,520
Speaker 1: towards him, but I found out he's a Mormon. I

522
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:00,480
Speaker 1: have prayed on what to do in this situation because

523
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:02,280
Speaker 1: I feel like half of me is torn and wanting

524
00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:04,720
Speaker 1: to shed the light of Christianity on him, but the

525
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:06,520
Speaker 1: other half of me feels as though it would be

526
00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:09,560
Speaker 1: wrong to date him because the Bible says to be

527
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:12,720
Speaker 1: equally yoked in your relationships. But if you ever found

528
00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:16,040
Speaker 1: out my feelings for him, I also feel our friendship

529
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:19,800
Speaker 1: would be ruined. Anyways, I'm just kind of stuck. So

530
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:22,600
Speaker 1: I guess here's my question. Do I go about this

531
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:25,600
Speaker 1: Do I go about this year and just tell him,

532
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 1: tell myself to get over him, or do I pursue him?

533
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:34,280
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Audrey, That's an easy one. You

534
00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:39,400
Speaker 1: know what, I was hearing a lot of feelings I feel,

535
00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:43,800
Speaker 1: I feel, I feel. I would say that it is normal.

536
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:48,920
Speaker 1: Feelings themselves can be good, But when you're throwing that

537
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:51,440
Speaker 1: F word around a lot, then I would just have

538
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:56,720
Speaker 1: that red alert check engine, like come on, as just

539
00:30:56,960 --> 00:31:00,960
Speaker 1: a heads up. We feel a lot of things. Those

540
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:03,880
Speaker 1: feelings are real, those feelings of physical attraction are real.

541
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:09,800
Speaker 1: And guess what. The majority of the time people feel

542
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:13,360
Speaker 1: red hot and love with somebody and they marry them,

543
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:16,880
Speaker 1: and then those feelings fade and they feel like they

544
00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:19,800
Speaker 1: fall out of love with them, and then they get divorced.

545
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:24,040
Speaker 1: That happens most of the time, is people follow their

546
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:28,240
Speaker 1: feelings into relationships, the feelings fade and it's like we

547
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:31,440
Speaker 1: have to figure out something else to trust other than

548
00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:37,600
Speaker 1: our feelings. Yeah, so, Audrey, it's a great question, and

549
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:43,720
Speaker 1: it's it's probably another common question, not to not to

550
00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:46,800
Speaker 1: darken it any but but but it's people think about

551
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:49,480
Speaker 1: this stuff and and the Bible is full of this

552
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:52,120
Speaker 1: this kind of stuff. And so you could go to

553
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:55,000
Speaker 1: him and you could say, I need to tell you something.

554
00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:59,280
Speaker 1: I'm a Christian, and he's going to say, great, I'm

555
00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:02,880
Speaker 1: a Christian too. And then you're gonna say, I mean,

556
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:06,240
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm an orthodox Christian, like I believe in

557
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:12,440
Speaker 1: saved by Grace alone, through faith alone, and Christ alone,

558
00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 1: as read in the Bible alone, as inspired by God alone.

559
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:24,920
Speaker 1: That's what you say, and it's important for you. It's

560
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:27,120
Speaker 1: going to be important to you to share the Gospel

561
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:33,520
Speaker 1: with him, and who knows, maybe maybe he goes you

562
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 1: know what, I want to hear more about this. I

563
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 1: want to hear more about your view. Ninety percent chance

564
00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:45,320
Speaker 1: that he won't. And people are getting real uncomfortable in

565
00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:50,960
Speaker 1: this podcast as they're listening right now. But the reality is, Ardrey,

566
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:54,040
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to think about Parker said this before

567
00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:56,280
Speaker 1: on different podcasts, but when you think about and I

568
00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:59,320
Speaker 1: know you're just a sophomore, but when you think about dating,

569
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 1: even as a sophomore, you got to be thinking about

570
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:10,080
Speaker 1: dating for marriage. Otherwise it's not worth it. You're not

571
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:15,160
Speaker 1: just dating for fun. You're gonna be dating because ultimately, Audrey,

572
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:19,840
Speaker 1: you want to find your future husband, the person you're

573
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:21,760
Speaker 1: going to spend the rest of your life with, and

574
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:24,800
Speaker 1: the person you're God willing going to make babies with.

575
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:29,880
Speaker 1: And the last thing you want in raising babies is

576
00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:35,040
Speaker 1: having an internal conflict with your spouse about where to

577
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:38,680
Speaker 1: go to church on Sundays and what to teach them.

578
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:44,479
Speaker 1: And it matters now. It matters right now because this

579
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:48,920
Speaker 1: kind of stuff leads to really bad relationships, and you

580
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:52,120
Speaker 1: want to catch it now before your heart falls. And

581
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:54,560
Speaker 1: like Parker said, the f wort into your feelings. You

582
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:58,720
Speaker 1: want to catch it now before you really start liking

583
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:01,000
Speaker 1: them a lot, and then you fall in love with him,

584
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 1: and then it gets a lot harder to to kind

585
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:09,520
Speaker 1: of get all this situated. So I'm just gonna tell

586
00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:11,239
Speaker 1: you straight up, this is how that that's how it's

587
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:15,160
Speaker 1: gonna happen. And there's there is this you know you

588
00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:16,880
Speaker 1: want to tell in the gospel because that's you're going

589
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:20,640
Speaker 1: to be convicted to do that, and he's going to

590
00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:23,560
Speaker 1: resist it because that's just not how he was raised.

591
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:26,719
Speaker 1: And then at that point, as the Bible says, you're

592
00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:29,000
Speaker 1: gonna have to shake the dust off of your feet

593
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:38,279
Speaker 1: and keep on moving. Yep. Next question, Oh man, we're

594
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:40,600
Speaker 1: just right. We're right into another one here, says question

595
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:44,439
Speaker 1: about dating before marriage. It's like it just naturally, guys.

596
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:46,840
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't order these questions on this podcast.

597
00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 1: I promise you is random. Okay, I just not. It

598
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,759
Speaker 1: would be much easier if he did. It would be easier.

599
00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:55,120
Speaker 1: One of these days, I should hire a producer that

600
00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:57,799
Speaker 1: like gets these and writes them out and fixes the

601
00:34:57,840 --> 00:34:59,960
Speaker 1: spelling errors and like puts it in a nice order.

602
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:02,240
Speaker 1: But right now, it's random. And this is why it's crazy,

603
00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:04,720
Speaker 1: because we're just flowing right into another. One says Hey Granger,

604
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:08,120
Speaker 1: this is Logan from Dunville, Ontario. I'm a big fan,

605
00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:11,640
Speaker 1: and I have a question about sex and dating. Look

606
00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:14,600
Speaker 1: at this, Parker, I'm fifteen. Here we go. This is

607
00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:17,160
Speaker 1: another one a young listener. This is random. This is

608
00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:22,120
Speaker 1: like a random episode. Guys. I'm fifteen and I'm not

609
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:24,560
Speaker 1: dating yet, but I have questions. I know the Bible

610
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:26,640
Speaker 1: says not to have sex before marriage, and I don't

611
00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:29,600
Speaker 1: plan to, but what about other stuff like being naked

612
00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:32,000
Speaker 1: in front of them and stuff like that. I have

613
00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:34,319
Speaker 1: read the Bible and found nothing about how far you

614
00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:37,080
Speaker 1: can go before marriage. Thanks for your time and I

615
00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:40,960
Speaker 1: hope you visit Southern Ontario soon. Logan Parker, this got you,

616
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 1: This got you all over it. This question. I got

617
00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:50,160
Speaker 1: this from pastor named Jonathan Piccluda, and he said, shout

618
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:54,040
Speaker 1: out to Waco, Texas. If we were on a hike

619
00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:58,359
Speaker 1: and we were next to a cliff and you came

620
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:00,640
Speaker 1: up to me and you said how close do you

621
00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:02,400
Speaker 1: think I could get to the edge of this cliff?

622
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:06,520
Speaker 1: Then I would say, well, do you want to jump off?

623
00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:10,920
Speaker 1: Because it sounds like you're wanting to get really close.

624
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:17,040
Speaker 1: This is so good and so it's a very defensive question.

625
00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:21,520
Speaker 1: And if we're looking for ways to shape our lives

626
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:24,240
Speaker 1: around the context of the scripture into what we wanted

627
00:36:24,239 --> 00:36:27,000
Speaker 1: to say. Then it's a dangerous game. And so the body.

628
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:28,640
Speaker 1: You know, what the Bible does say is that we're

629
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:32,239
Speaker 1: not to have a hint of sexual immorality, not a

630
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:34,920
Speaker 1: hint of it. So I don't know about you, but

631
00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:39,279
Speaker 1: I feel like that's pretty clear. Yeah, being naked in

632
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:41,160
Speaker 1: front of someone else that you're not married to is

633
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:43,719
Speaker 1: probably there. Does the Bible say that you should not

634
00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:48,359
Speaker 1: be naked specifically in bed next to somebody? No, But

635
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:51,040
Speaker 1: why if it says that you are not to have

636
00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:53,600
Speaker 1: sex outside of the covenant of marriage, why would you

637
00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:56,560
Speaker 1: It would be really hard not to if you were

638
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:58,719
Speaker 1: both naked, So why would you even put yourself in

639
00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:01,880
Speaker 1: that situation? You're making both of your lives much harder.

640
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:05,840
Speaker 1: I put a lot of these clips of these podcasts

641
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:10,279
Speaker 1: on TikTok, and do you when you're speaking, do you

642
00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:12,440
Speaker 1: ever think that this might be a TikTok video of

643
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:14,959
Speaker 1: you with some nice music in the background and you're

644
00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:17,520
Speaker 1: saying this stuff, Because that's what I was just thinking.

645
00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:20,000
Speaker 1: I was like, this is gonna make a great TikTok. Yeah,

646
00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:26,040
Speaker 1: now I do, all right, I'm gonna I'm gonna move

647
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:33,200
Speaker 1: on to man. So many good ones, so many good ones.

648
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:37,279
Speaker 1: Here's one. A couple of weeks ago, I was with

649
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:41,960
Speaker 1: I think it was with Chad and we read a

650
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 1: question about someone who says they have an angry husband. Well,

651
00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:47,840
Speaker 1: this was kind of a reply to that, and the

652
00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:51,560
Speaker 1: subject says I am the angry husband and says, hey,

653
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:54,080
Speaker 1: I saw your posts on Facebook talking about the angry husband,

654
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:57,400
Speaker 1: and now I'm the one she was talking about. But

655
00:37:57,600 --> 00:38:00,800
Speaker 1: for some reason, I've been that angry your husband lately.

656
00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:04,160
Speaker 1: I don't know why, and I don't know what to

657
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:07,879
Speaker 1: do to stop it. It's been causing issues lately, from

658
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:10,600
Speaker 1: my wife being mad at me, or my two sons

659
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:12,960
Speaker 1: hearing me say things I shouldn't. My two year old

660
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:16,279
Speaker 1: keeps repeating me, and I'm just not sure how to

661
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:24,080
Speaker 1: calm down and chill out. It's pretty straightforward, man. Thank

662
00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:28,120
Speaker 1: you dude. The fact that you emailed this and you

663
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 1: just you were so honest, that's pretty great of you,

664
00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:37,880
Speaker 1: and I think that's what an incredible first step for

665
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:42,000
Speaker 1: you to just go out here on this podcast, email

666
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:44,319
Speaker 1: me who you don't even know personally, and just lay

667
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:49,040
Speaker 1: it all out and admit that you're seeing a problem

668
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:51,960
Speaker 1: that could get worse, and then it's having a negative

669
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:56,759
Speaker 1: impact on your family. So there's so much to say

670
00:38:57,680 --> 00:39:01,279
Speaker 1: just for that step right there, and I appreciate it.

671
00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:05,759
Speaker 1: And so it's almost like here we go again with

672
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:08,239
Speaker 1: an addiction, and we can almost relate it to pornography

673
00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:13,440
Speaker 1: in a way where I would say, Okay, you need accountability, buddy,

674
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:18,320
Speaker 1: someone you could trust, wise counsel that you could trust,

675
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:22,080
Speaker 1: someone that has a just a good hearted man of

676
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:24,839
Speaker 1: integrity that you could just say, hey, man, I got

677
00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:27,440
Speaker 1: to tell you I'm dealing with Let's just call it

678
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:29,560
Speaker 1: an addiction, right, Let's call it like it is. Let's

679
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:30,960
Speaker 1: call it an addiction, and just say I have an

680
00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:35,360
Speaker 1: addiction to anger and it's messing up my family and

681
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:38,239
Speaker 1: I want to stop it. I want to know, like

682
00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:41,799
Speaker 1: you said here, how to just calm down and chill out.

683
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:45,319
Speaker 1: Can you help me be accountable? Can you call me

684
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:50,560
Speaker 1: at ten am every weekday and just say, hey, buddy,

685
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:54,080
Speaker 1: how are you doing? How'd you do yesterday? And you

686
00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:55,960
Speaker 1: could report back and say I did pretty good. There

687
00:39:56,040 --> 00:40:01,200
Speaker 1: was a time when I slipped up. Another thing we

688
00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:05,400
Speaker 1: can go to is what's triggering this? Can you identify

689
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:10,080
Speaker 1: what's triggering this anger. Is there something? Is it something

690
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:15,160
Speaker 1: simple like lack of sleep that gets to me If

691
00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:17,480
Speaker 1: I have an early flight and I get up at

692
00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:19,680
Speaker 1: four am, or I get up at three am and

693
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:21,319
Speaker 1: I have to be the airport at four am and

694
00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:24,239
Speaker 1: I got a five am flight, and then at three

695
00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:27,480
Speaker 1: pm that day, I'm getting mad at everybody. Yeah, you

696
00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:30,319
Speaker 1: said the other day. Whenever I'm low on sleep from

697
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:32,800
Speaker 1: an early morning flight, I know not to trust myself

698
00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:35,359
Speaker 1: for the majority of that day until I have a nap. Yeah,

699
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:39,160
Speaker 1: I can't trust myself because you treat you hear in

700
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:41,799
Speaker 1: your mind, you go, I just got mad at that

701
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:45,000
Speaker 1: guy for not really that big a deal, And five

702
00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:47,719
Speaker 1: minutes later I got mad at another person for not

703
00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:51,600
Speaker 1: really that big a deal. What's the common denominator? It's me. Oh,

704
00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:55,200
Speaker 1: it's me. I should probably shut up today until I

705
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:58,160
Speaker 1: take a nap. Like, hey, I'm not saying that your

706
00:40:58,239 --> 00:41:00,680
Speaker 1: problem is that simple. I hope that is. I hope

707
00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 1: you can go. Yeah, it's because I get up early

708
00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:07,000
Speaker 1: and I'm staying up too late. Maybe it's it's just stress, man.

709
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:10,000
Speaker 1: This world is is stressful. Maybe your job, maybe you're

710
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:13,560
Speaker 1: dealing with a possible layoff, maybe you're you're seeing all

711
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:17,799
Speaker 1: this government stuff and you're you're insecure about your longevity

712
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:20,760
Speaker 1: of your job, and you're coming home and your wife

713
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:23,400
Speaker 1: ask what kind of noodles you want in your spaghetti,

714
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:25,959
Speaker 1: and you're like that, I don't care what I'm having

715
00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:27,800
Speaker 1: in my spaghetti. I'm about to lose my job. You

716
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:30,239
Speaker 1: don't say it, but you're thinking that is it that?

717
00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:34,600
Speaker 1: My point is, whatever it is, Can you identify the

718
00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:39,560
Speaker 1: source of the anger that will help you a lot. Yeah,

719
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:42,120
Speaker 1: I think that's what's most important. And then something that

720
00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:46,360
Speaker 1: you can do when those things do come up, that's like,

721
00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:48,560
Speaker 1: what can I like physically do in the moment is

722
00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:53,680
Speaker 1: I would say to remove yourself from the situation for

723
00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:57,840
Speaker 1: a moment, and you're always five breasts away from getting

724
00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:02,320
Speaker 1: back to center clear headedness, do a six second inhale

725
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:06,760
Speaker 1: and then a six second exhale five times and watch

726
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:09,480
Speaker 1: how your heart rate will slow and you'll go, Okay,

727
00:42:10,719 --> 00:42:14,120
Speaker 1: I'm in a more emotionally stable state of mind. Now,

728
00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:16,759
Speaker 1: so good. I'll tell you one more thing. This is

729
00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:22,640
Speaker 1: what helps me is some form of journaling. Now, this

730
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:26,280
Speaker 1: isn't like a seventeen year old girl writing a diary

731
00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:28,319
Speaker 1: about her boyfriend. This is not what I'm talking about.

732
00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:31,440
Speaker 1: I'm talking about It could be on your phone. I

733
00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:33,719
Speaker 1: use an app called day one. What do you do?

734
00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:37,480
Speaker 1: You got me on Day one? Okay? Super simple? It's

735
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:39,800
Speaker 1: an app. I'm not even promoting them for any reason

736
00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:42,640
Speaker 1: other than it's just easy. But there's a million apps.

737
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:45,120
Speaker 1: You could use the notes on your phone, or you

738
00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:48,160
Speaker 1: could actually use good old fashioned pen and paper, you know,

739
00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:54,040
Speaker 1: and make it super simple. So get a routine. Mine's

740
00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:56,239
Speaker 1: in the morning, maybe yours could be at night. It

741
00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:59,040
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. Pick a routine and stick with it, and

742
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:04,120
Speaker 1: you're Your journal could look like this. It's raining this morning,

743
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:11,000
Speaker 1: had a had I worked late last night, got in,

744
00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:14,680
Speaker 1: got the kids are still sleeping, about to get dressed

745
00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:17,600
Speaker 1: and go to work. It could be as simple as that.

746
00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:21,600
Speaker 1: And then under that, I would encourage you to write

747
00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:25,600
Speaker 1: a to write a list of three to four things

748
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:30,080
Speaker 1: that you're grateful for right now, and and hey, aim low.

749
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:32,879
Speaker 1: It could be simple. It could be I'm grateful for

750
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 1: sixty five degree weather outside could be super it used

751
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:39,600
Speaker 1: to be super hot, or it could be super cold,

752
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 1: but it's sixty five. I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful

753
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:46,759
Speaker 1: for a roof over my head. Could be simple like

754
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:49,160
Speaker 1: I'm saying, doesn't have to be I'm grateful because I

755
00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:54,800
Speaker 1: got a raise at Worke. Hey aim low. But the

756
00:43:54,800 --> 00:44:05,120
Speaker 1: the the active discipline of keeping a gratitude journal matters

757
00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:09,240
Speaker 1: in your brain. It affects you when you start acknowledging

758
00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:14,279
Speaker 1: your gratefulness in your day and your life. Then it

759
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:18,200
Speaker 1: puts a different perspective on your day as you move forward.

760
00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:20,719
Speaker 1: That's why I like doing again in the morning. But

761
00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:23,680
Speaker 1: I think you would see some big changes. If you

762
00:44:23,719 --> 00:44:27,920
Speaker 1: seek wise counsel, someone keeps you accountable, you identify the

763
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:30,840
Speaker 1: triggers of the anger, and you keep a gratitude journal.

764
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:37,040
Speaker 1: I think you could start seeing some changes. Let's move

765
00:44:37,080 --> 00:44:46,719
Speaker 1: to another one here, let's see I have there's a

766
00:44:46,719 --> 00:44:53,160
Speaker 1: couple of dating ones part. Here's one It says, Hey, grangeer,

767
00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:54,640
Speaker 1: do you have any thoughts on how long a couple

768
00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:57,520
Speaker 1: should date before they start thinking about getting married? I

769
00:44:57,560 --> 00:45:00,480
Speaker 1: know a difference, it's different between different couples, but there

770
00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:04,840
Speaker 1: are things. Are there things that I should have experienced

771
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:07,320
Speaker 1: before deciding to spend the rest of our lives together?

772
00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:14,320
Speaker 1: Thanks Brett. You should date as long as it takes

773
00:45:14,920 --> 00:45:19,879
Speaker 1: to decide that they would be a suitable spouse. Why

774
00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:27,200
Speaker 1: would you date any longer than that? Drop the next question.

775
00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:31,360
Speaker 1: I don't think that there's a set in stone. It

776
00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:34,560
Speaker 1: would be nice if someone was like you will date

777
00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:38,000
Speaker 1: for one year in three months, and that is the

778
00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:40,920
Speaker 1: appropriate amount of time to know if someone is a

779
00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:44,120
Speaker 1: suitable spouse to marry or not. He says, are there

780
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:47,279
Speaker 1: things that we should have experienced before deciding to spend

781
00:45:47,280 --> 00:45:51,200
Speaker 1: the rest of our lives together? Is there any specific

782
00:45:51,239 --> 00:45:54,200
Speaker 1: event they should experience together as a couple before he

783
00:45:54,320 --> 00:46:00,319
Speaker 1: decides that I don't think. I think that when you

784
00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:06,320
Speaker 1: find what you're looking for, then there's not specific seasons

785
00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:11,279
Speaker 1: that you have to see somebody in. You know, if

786
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:14,719
Speaker 1: I have a two hundred dollars gift card for Amazon,

787
00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:18,400
Speaker 1: and I go on Amazon then and I don't have

788
00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:21,440
Speaker 1: any idea of what I'm gonna buy, then I could

789
00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:25,640
Speaker 1: get a vacuum, I could get a coffee mug. I

790
00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:28,719
Speaker 1: could get a new flat screen TV. I could get

791
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:32,640
Speaker 1: a bowling ball, like I could get all of these

792
00:46:32,719 --> 00:46:34,759
Speaker 1: random things. But if I have a specific list, and

793
00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:36,839
Speaker 1: I don't know the situation here, but if I have

794
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:39,919
Speaker 1: a specific list of the person that I'm looking for.

795
00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:43,160
Speaker 1: Then as the amount of time that it takes for

796
00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:46,360
Speaker 1: me to be certain of the characteristics that they have

797
00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:48,520
Speaker 1: what I'm looking for, then it's like you found what

798
00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:54,480
Speaker 1: you're looking for, and to bring Christ into it again.

799
00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:57,040
Speaker 1: I can't answer this question without bringing Christ into it.

800
00:46:57,160 --> 00:47:00,600
Speaker 1: If there has never been a divorce in the history

801
00:47:00,640 --> 00:47:03,800
Speaker 1: of the world of two people who are radically following

802
00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:06,840
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ. Never in history has there ever been a

803
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:10,480
Speaker 1: divorce between two people radically following Jesus Christ. And so

804
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:15,480
Speaker 1: I have to say that that is first and foremost

805
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:17,879
Speaker 1: what I'm looking for in my spouse, because I want

806
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:20,680
Speaker 1: a lasting marriage. And so I don't know about this

807
00:47:21,200 --> 00:47:24,400
Speaker 1: specific situation, but I would say that you find what

808
00:47:24,440 --> 00:47:27,320
Speaker 1: you're looking for. There is not a black and white

809
00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:29,719
Speaker 1: season that you have to see your spouse. And I

810
00:47:29,719 --> 00:47:32,600
Speaker 1: could say that the exact thing happened to me and Amber.

811
00:47:34,239 --> 00:47:36,200
Speaker 1: Both of us, you know, had our share of dating.

812
00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:40,440
Speaker 1: I met Amber when I was twenty nine years old

813
00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:45,319
Speaker 1: and she was twenty seven, and I dated her for

814
00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:50,600
Speaker 1: let's see, I started really started dating her. I met

815
00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:54,080
Speaker 1: her in February, started dating her in March, March, April, May, June,

816
00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:57,520
Speaker 1: and I bought her engagement ring in June. That was

817
00:47:57,560 --> 00:48:02,080
Speaker 1: four months. So I didn't have that template that you

818
00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:06,080
Speaker 1: just spoke of of, you know, what'd you say, date

819
00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:09,160
Speaker 1: until you know that you're meeting the criteria. I didn't

820
00:48:09,200 --> 00:48:12,120
Speaker 1: think about that. But all I did know was, yeah,

821
00:48:12,200 --> 00:48:16,800
Speaker 1: she's the one, and I wasn't I'm not talking about

822
00:48:16,800 --> 00:48:21,560
Speaker 1: like a mystical like there's seven billion people on the

823
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:25,400
Speaker 1: planet and she's the one that the stars aligned and like.

824
00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:28,719
Speaker 1: It wasn't that. It was like, this one is perfect

825
00:48:28,760 --> 00:48:34,360
Speaker 1: for me, The Amber's perfect. And I had dated enough

826
00:48:35,320 --> 00:48:38,520
Speaker 1: to know I felt like maybe that even matter, Maybe

827
00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:42,600
Speaker 1: the dating didn't even matter. It could just be we

828
00:48:42,719 --> 00:48:46,440
Speaker 1: just clicked. And so four months go by. We casually

829
00:48:46,520 --> 00:48:48,440
Speaker 1: dated at the beginning, and then it ramped up, and

830
00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:50,560
Speaker 1: by four months I was buying a ring, and then

831
00:48:50,600 --> 00:48:53,800
Speaker 1: I proposed in September, and then we got married in February.

832
00:48:54,239 --> 00:48:57,919
Speaker 1: So I literally met her and married her one year

833
00:48:57,960 --> 00:49:02,200
Speaker 1: from the one I met her, was engaged seven months after,

834
00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:04,960
Speaker 1: and bought a ring four months after. So I didn't

835
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:07,719
Speaker 1: think about any kind of mathematical problem with this. I

836
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:11,760
Speaker 1: just it just felt right. And so to you, Brett,

837
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:14,480
Speaker 1: we didn't experience any we didn't go to like the

838
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:17,680
Speaker 1: Grand Canyon, or we didn't do something that we felt

839
00:49:17,719 --> 00:49:21,120
Speaker 1: like we needed a certain experience for it to matter.

840
00:49:21,239 --> 00:49:28,200
Speaker 1: We just just worked and I would I would say,

841
00:49:28,239 --> 00:49:33,080
Speaker 1: does it fit? Does it work? Go for it? Let's say,

842
00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:39,640
Speaker 1: let's say one more part. Okay, I have no idea

843
00:49:39,680 --> 00:49:41,399
Speaker 1: what this was about to say, but the subject line

844
00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:45,440
Speaker 1: is why does it seem like nothing goes right for me? Hey,

845
00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:47,560
Speaker 1: gran Dream. My name is Ella and I'm a freshman

846
00:49:47,600 --> 00:49:51,600
Speaker 1: in high school. Another another teenager. My question is why

847
00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:53,560
Speaker 1: does it seem like nothing goes right in my life?

848
00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:56,440
Speaker 1: I am always working to do my best in school

849
00:49:57,200 --> 00:49:59,279
Speaker 1: with my grades, but I end up failing. And I

850
00:49:59,320 --> 00:50:01,319
Speaker 1: try to be the best daughter and sister to my

851
00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:04,080
Speaker 1: two brothers, but they always act like it doesn't I

852
00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:08,880
Speaker 1: don't matter, or doesn't don't exist anymore. I feel like

853
00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:11,200
Speaker 1: my parents don't love me anymore, and all they care

854
00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:13,920
Speaker 1: about are my brothers. They make me feel like I'm

855
00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:17,640
Speaker 1: a burden. I'm just shoving my feelings deep down and

856
00:50:17,719 --> 00:50:19,719
Speaker 1: not telling anyone what's going on in my head. But

857
00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:21,960
Speaker 1: after a while I get really depressed and I overthink

858
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:25,880
Speaker 1: everything again. How do I make the cycle stop? I

859
00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:27,279
Speaker 1: want to be happy and I want to do well

860
00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:29,920
Speaker 1: in school, but my thoughts get in the way. Your

861
00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:32,520
Speaker 1: advice would really help me keep doing amazing work. Your

862
00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:39,239
Speaker 1: podcast really help me. Thank you so Ella, freshman how old?

863
00:50:39,239 --> 00:50:42,840
Speaker 1: Was a freshman? Fifteen? Yeah? I was fifteen, My freshman

864
00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:46,680
Speaker 1: fifteen years old? Man, this is like the trifecta of

865
00:50:46,719 --> 00:50:49,920
Speaker 1: fifteen year olds. Thank you Ella for emailing. Thank you

866
00:50:49,960 --> 00:50:52,440
Speaker 1: for the kind words about the podcast and listening and

867
00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:54,799
Speaker 1: telling me that it helps you, because then that that

868
00:50:54,960 --> 00:51:01,719
Speaker 1: just makes me feel like it matters. I want to

869
00:51:01,760 --> 00:51:04,520
Speaker 1: validate your feelings. You're fifteen, and these kind of feelings

870
00:51:04,560 --> 00:51:10,920
Speaker 1: are normal. You're not different, you're not an outcast. You're

871
00:51:10,960 --> 00:51:14,640
Speaker 1: having these conflicting thoughts and feelings and that's part of growing.

872
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:18,640
Speaker 1: And so let me say this, Ella, You're not gonna

873
00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:23,560
Speaker 1: have these same kind of conflicting, confusing thoughts when you're

874
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:26,160
Speaker 1: twenty five, and you're gonna have less of them when

875
00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:29,040
Speaker 1: you're thirty five, and even less when you're forty five.

876
00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:32,319
Speaker 1: And their problems will change, and you'll have problems, but

877
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:35,759
Speaker 1: they will change, and it's not gonna be when I

878
00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:38,319
Speaker 1: look back at me in high school, when I try

879
00:51:38,320 --> 00:51:40,600
Speaker 1: to think about the scenarios I was in in high school.

880
00:51:40,840 --> 00:51:43,319
Speaker 1: I think about myself as a horse with blinders on,

881
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:48,600
Speaker 1: and I only saw like this tiny little space in

882
00:51:48,640 --> 00:51:50,920
Speaker 1: front of me. I didn't know what was going on

883
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:55,720
Speaker 1: in my peripherals at all, and I was easily distracted.

884
00:51:55,800 --> 00:51:58,000
Speaker 1: And but when I returned, the blinders turned with me.

885
00:51:58,080 --> 00:52:00,480
Speaker 1: So then I forget where I'm walking and bump into

886
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:03,040
Speaker 1: a wall. It's literally that's my high school I have.

887
00:52:03,800 --> 00:52:08,040
Speaker 1: I have so vague memories of walking those halls. So

888
00:52:08,160 --> 00:52:11,680
Speaker 1: I hear you, I hear you. What do you What

889
00:52:11,680 --> 00:52:17,279
Speaker 1: do you tell Ella Parker? Well, it's hard. You have

890
00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:19,840
Speaker 1: to You have to answer it for who she is,

891
00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:21,680
Speaker 1: which is a fifteen year old. And I would answer,

892
00:52:21,719 --> 00:52:23,680
Speaker 1: well when she made fourteen or fifteen, But you know,

893
00:52:23,760 --> 00:52:26,240
Speaker 1: you'd answer it differently for different people at different stages

894
00:52:26,239 --> 00:52:29,840
Speaker 1: in life, like you said, And so, I mean, I

895
00:52:29,840 --> 00:52:31,960
Speaker 1: think that someone is a freshman in high school. They

896
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:38,719
Speaker 1: they need to try to focus on gratitude, try to

897
00:52:38,800 --> 00:52:42,279
Speaker 1: keep that gratitude a little bit above whatever's going on,

898
00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:46,800
Speaker 1: and force herself to be grateful and to not follow

899
00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:50,720
Speaker 1: her feelings even if she's you know, feeling maybe feeling

900
00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:56,080
Speaker 1: depressed or anxious. I think that how important is it

901
00:52:56,120 --> 00:52:59,360
Speaker 1: to be surrounded with a good group of friends, to

902
00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:02,399
Speaker 1: be involved in something, to stay active. You know, we're

903
00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:09,160
Speaker 1: not made to walk this path alone, and we're a

904
00:53:09,160 --> 00:53:11,640
Speaker 1: promise suffering like life is going to be tough and

905
00:53:11,719 --> 00:53:15,759
Speaker 1: it's not gonna be all sunshine and rainbows. But to

906
00:53:17,520 --> 00:53:20,799
Speaker 1: not not fall into a victim mentality either and think

907
00:53:20,840 --> 00:53:22,759
Speaker 1: that everybody's out to get her, because that's that's a

908
00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:27,960
Speaker 1: form of pride as well as someone who is it's

909
00:53:28,080 --> 00:53:31,080
Speaker 1: very common to think of yourself too much, and then

910
00:53:31,080 --> 00:53:33,480
Speaker 1: you become self centered and you become miserable because you're

911
00:53:33,520 --> 00:53:35,600
Speaker 1: thinking of yourself so much and thinking that people are

912
00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:38,200
Speaker 1: out to get you, and you grow this victim mentality.

913
00:53:38,280 --> 00:53:43,360
Speaker 1: So you know, I saw someone say on on TikTok

914
00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:46,279
Speaker 1: actually the other day talking about self love and how

915
00:53:46,280 --> 00:53:48,520
Speaker 1: we're supposed to love our learn to love ourself first

916
00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:51,920
Speaker 1: and then we can love other second, when in reality,

917
00:53:52,960 --> 00:53:57,240
Speaker 1: we are made to love others first. When we're thinking

918
00:53:57,280 --> 00:53:59,840
Speaker 1: of ourselves and trying to raise our self esteem ourselves

919
00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:03,840
Speaker 1: doing it all ourselves, then we get entrapped in this

920
00:54:04,040 --> 00:54:07,480
Speaker 1: snowball of depression, whereas we're not meant to just slowly,

921
00:54:07,840 --> 00:54:10,400
Speaker 1: you know, solely focus on ourselves. We're meant to, you know,

922
00:54:11,160 --> 00:54:14,120
Speaker 1: to focus on others and figure out rather how much

923
00:54:14,160 --> 00:54:15,920
Speaker 1: the world is out to get me. How can I

924
00:54:15,960 --> 00:54:18,920
Speaker 1: provide value for others? How can I go get involved?

925
00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:21,440
Speaker 1: How can I go help out a friend with their

926
00:54:21,480 --> 00:54:23,880
Speaker 1: homework or someone who's not getting talked to at the

927
00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:27,040
Speaker 1: lunch table. And when you start doing those things, then

928
00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:31,600
Speaker 1: I think that will improve your self love as well.

929
00:54:31,719 --> 00:54:33,440
Speaker 1: I want to speak something into you. I want to

930
00:54:33,480 --> 00:54:39,120
Speaker 1: tell you that you are telling, constantly telling lies to yourself.

931
00:54:40,080 --> 00:54:42,719
Speaker 1: And I can tell you because I'm reading it. You're

932
00:54:43,680 --> 00:54:45,440
Speaker 1: you're trying to be the best daughter, and then in

933
00:54:45,480 --> 00:54:47,880
Speaker 1: your mind you go, but you're not. You're trying to

934
00:54:47,920 --> 00:54:49,800
Speaker 1: be the best sister. But in your mind you're saying

935
00:54:49,960 --> 00:54:53,359
Speaker 1: you're not. You're selling. You're telling yourself. My parents don't

936
00:54:53,400 --> 00:54:56,520
Speaker 1: love me anymore. My brothers think I don't exist anymore.

937
00:54:56,880 --> 00:54:59,440
Speaker 1: All my parents care about is my brothers. I am

938
00:54:59,480 --> 00:55:04,879
Speaker 1: a burden. I have problems with depression, I have problems overthinking.

939
00:55:05,239 --> 00:55:08,239
Speaker 1: I have problems stuck in a cycle. And you're constantly

940
00:55:08,440 --> 00:55:15,840
Speaker 1: lying to yourself and they're the biggest problem in your situation,

941
00:55:15,960 --> 00:55:19,040
Speaker 1: right now is you are lying to yourself about all

942
00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:22,279
Speaker 1: your surroundings, so unlike me when I was in high

943
00:55:22,280 --> 00:55:23,960
Speaker 1: school and I have the blinders on. I want you

944
00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:25,560
Speaker 1: to not be like me. I want you to take

945
00:55:25,560 --> 00:55:28,760
Speaker 1: the blinders off for a second and just stop lying

946
00:55:28,760 --> 00:55:31,880
Speaker 1: to yourself. And I say it harshly like that, because

947
00:55:31,880 --> 00:55:34,280
Speaker 1: that's the reality is. You need to say, wait a minute,

948
00:55:34,840 --> 00:55:37,359
Speaker 1: of course, my parents love me. Why would I say

949
00:55:37,360 --> 00:55:40,200
Speaker 1: my parents don't love me anymore? I'm their one and

950
00:55:40,320 --> 00:55:44,200
Speaker 1: only daughter. Yes, they love me. Why do I keep

951
00:55:44,200 --> 00:55:47,920
Speaker 1: telling myself my brothers think I don't exist. I'm clearly

952
00:55:48,040 --> 00:55:51,320
Speaker 1: right here in the house. Obviously I exist. That is

953
00:55:51,360 --> 00:55:56,120
Speaker 1: a lie. I want you to also think about your grades.

954
00:55:56,160 --> 00:55:57,600
Speaker 1: You said, I want to do my best in school

955
00:55:57,680 --> 00:56:00,440
Speaker 1: in my grades, but I end up failing. That's an

956
00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:02,960
Speaker 1: action you could take right now. That's it. That's it.

957
00:56:03,480 --> 00:56:05,920
Speaker 1: Out of everything you've said, that's that's one of the

958
00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:08,760
Speaker 1: things you can go. Hold up, Hold up, hold up, okay,

959
00:56:09,360 --> 00:56:11,960
Speaker 1: let's let's what class that I failed? Why did I

960
00:56:11,960 --> 00:56:14,560
Speaker 1: fail it? Do I need tutoring? Do I need to

961
00:56:14,600 --> 00:56:17,240
Speaker 1: get with a buddy that's gonna help me with this subject?

962
00:56:17,239 --> 00:56:20,080
Speaker 1: Maybe it's math, Maybe it's science, whatever. Let me find

963
00:56:20,080 --> 00:56:22,080
Speaker 1: a buddy that's gonna help me. I got to get

964
00:56:22,080 --> 00:56:24,080
Speaker 1: a I gotta start reeling some of this stuff in.

965
00:56:24,400 --> 00:56:27,920
Speaker 1: Take accountability for yourself, which is difficult. It's man. If

966
00:56:27,920 --> 00:56:29,799
Speaker 1: I could have told myself this, I would have been

967
00:56:29,840 --> 00:56:32,520
Speaker 1: so much better, but that I had the blinders on.

968
00:56:32,600 --> 00:56:35,680
Speaker 1: So if you could take accountability for yourself and move

969
00:56:35,760 --> 00:56:40,400
Speaker 1: forward and say, hey, mom and dad, I'm struggling in math,

970
00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:44,319
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go and get a math tutor, or I'm

971
00:56:44,320 --> 00:56:47,359
Speaker 1: gonna go and have a wise counsel friend that's gonna

972
00:56:47,360 --> 00:56:51,520
Speaker 1: help me. And your parents are gonna go Ella. That's amazing,

973
00:56:52,600 --> 00:56:57,759
Speaker 1: that's really great. And these little self accountability things you

974
00:56:57,760 --> 00:57:01,720
Speaker 1: could do for yourself will change everything thing. It will matter,

975
00:57:02,200 --> 00:57:05,759
Speaker 1: and it's slow increments. Aim low. Don't set too high

976
00:57:05,760 --> 00:57:08,840
Speaker 1: of expectations for yourself. You're not gonna get val Victorian

977
00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:12,080
Speaker 1: and be the Homecoming Queen and win the award for

978
00:57:12,160 --> 00:57:15,359
Speaker 1: best Sister and get the you know, the parents' best

979
00:57:15,400 --> 00:57:20,240
Speaker 1: daughter award. Stop setting these high expectations and go I'm Ella,

980
00:57:20,680 --> 00:57:23,320
Speaker 1: I am who I am. My parents love me, my

981
00:57:23,360 --> 00:57:26,440
Speaker 1: brothers are they think I'm annoying, But it's normal in

982
00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:29,400
Speaker 1: our stage right now of life ten years. It's not

983
00:57:29,440 --> 00:57:31,880
Speaker 1: going to be like that when they're thirty and I'm

984
00:57:31,920 --> 00:57:33,960
Speaker 1: twenty eight. They're not going to think of me as

985
00:57:33,960 --> 00:57:39,000
Speaker 1: this annoying fifteen year old. So self accountability, get over it.

986
00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:41,880
Speaker 1: You're gonna be just fine. Take care of those grades.

987
00:57:41,920 --> 00:57:46,920
Speaker 1: Go tackle that problem right now. Thank you for emailing.

988
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:51,160
Speaker 1: It matters to me. You matter to me that you emailed. Seriously,

989
00:57:52,800 --> 00:57:55,120
Speaker 1: if I didn't have people like you coming in and

990
00:57:55,520 --> 00:57:58,200
Speaker 1: filling me with these kind of questions, then it wouldn't

991
00:57:58,240 --> 00:57:59,800
Speaker 1: make me think about my own life and want it

992
00:57:59,800 --> 00:58:03,000
Speaker 1: to take accountability for myself and think about how to

993
00:58:03,000 --> 00:58:06,120
Speaker 1: write my own ship. So you matter to me. This

994
00:58:06,240 --> 00:58:09,440
Speaker 1: email is inspiring to me. And this is another one

995
00:58:09,480 --> 00:58:11,720
Speaker 1: of these where I'd say right back one day and

996
00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:14,160
Speaker 1: let me know where you are and how it's going.

997
00:58:14,760 --> 00:58:17,840
Speaker 1: And we love all you guys for listening, stay in tuned,

998
00:58:18,240 --> 00:58:21,320
Speaker 1: keeping this podcast at the top list of the charts

999
00:58:21,320 --> 00:58:24,760
Speaker 1: of music podcast and ironically we didn't even say anything

1000
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:27,480
Speaker 1: about music today. Yeah, if you don't mind leaving a

1001
00:58:27,520 --> 00:58:31,760
Speaker 1: review on if you listening on Apple podcasts, that would

1002
00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:34,800
Speaker 1: help a lot. Go go drop a review and an

1003
00:58:34,800 --> 00:58:37,800
Speaker 1: honest review. Let us know your thoughts and it would

1004
00:58:37,800 --> 00:58:40,040
Speaker 1: help out Grainger a lot. Love you guys, See you

1005
00:58:40,040 --> 00:58:43,160
Speaker 1: next time. Yigi. Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast.

1006
00:58:43,200 --> 00:58:45,680
Speaker 1: I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me

1007
00:58:45,720 --> 00:58:49,280
Speaker 1: out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,

1008
00:58:49,560 --> 00:58:52,800
Speaker 1: subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and

1009
00:58:52,920 --> 00:58:56,640
Speaker 1: notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload

1010
00:58:56,960 --> 00:58:59,120
Speaker 1: a video. If you have a question for me that

1011
00:58:59,160 --> 00:59:02,160
Speaker 1: you would like me to an answer, email granger Smith

1012
00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:12,800
Speaker 1: Podcast at gmail dot com. Ye M.