1 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 1: What's up, everybody. Welcome back to the podcast America's favorite 2 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:16,480 Speaker 1: podcast in the whole world. I'm just kidding. I made 3 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:23,040 Speaker 1: that up. Probably America's most unprepared podcast podcast, so we 4 00:00:23,079 --> 00:00:25,320 Speaker 1: could probably follow in that category. What I do here 5 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:27,840 Speaker 1: is I answer your questions, which is why I'm not prepared, 6 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:30,280 Speaker 1: because I think it's better if I'm not. Because you 7 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:34,279 Speaker 1: ask me a question anything could be about any subject, 8 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:38,400 Speaker 1: and you email it podcast at grangersmith dot com. That's 9 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:42,280 Speaker 1: an email podcast at grangersmith dot com, and I will 10 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:47,760 Speaker 1: answer it as unpreparedly as I can, because that would 11 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:50,559 Speaker 1: mean that would that would make it more like you 12 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,280 Speaker 1: and I are sitting in the cap of a truck 13 00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:53,960 Speaker 1: and you ask me a question. We're driving down a 14 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:56,920 Speaker 1: back road and you say, hey, man, could I run 15 00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:59,480 Speaker 1: something bio something that's been bothering me? And in that situation, 16 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,800 Speaker 1: I would not be prepared. I would say, shoot, tell me, 17 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:05,080 Speaker 1: and you would dump it on me, and I would 18 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:10,040 Speaker 1: give you my best advice as a friend with a 19 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:16,360 Speaker 1: biblical worldview, sitting firmly on a biblical worldview, and try 20 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:23,080 Speaker 1: to to continue to direct you back towards what I 21 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:31,800 Speaker 1: firmly believe is the right, the true worldview. That's the 22 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:37,440 Speaker 1: introduction of trying to explain why I like to keep 23 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:41,480 Speaker 1: this loose. Okay, let's go to the first question, and 24 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:43,760 Speaker 1: it comes from Katie. It says, Hey, Grangeer, this is Katie. 25 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:49,080 Speaker 1: I'm thirty eight, married for sixteen years, got three kids. 26 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:52,920 Speaker 1: Both my husband and I grew up in church. My 27 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:57,520 Speaker 1: husband doesn't like most churches we have attended as an 28 00:01:57,560 --> 00:02:01,880 Speaker 1: adult either. He thinks that they are slightly racist or 29 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:06,200 Speaker 1: too old school. It's interesting. He loves Jesus and praise 30 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:10,639 Speaker 1: it night like I do, although lately has been questioning 31 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:15,760 Speaker 1: the religion of Christianity. Says that Jesus was the king 32 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:19,640 Speaker 1: of the Jews and Christians in general have been evil 33 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:22,120 Speaker 1: in the past. My question is should I follow my 34 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:25,160 Speaker 1: husband and understand his questioning or find a church myself 35 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:28,680 Speaker 1: and go alone. So Katie, right off the bat, you know, 36 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:31,960 Speaker 1: we're riding in the truck, We're having this conversation, and 37 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:35,280 Speaker 1: I go, let's clarify a couple of things here you 38 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:39,760 Speaker 1: say in your little second segment. Here it says he 39 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:42,600 Speaker 1: loves Jesus and praise it night like I do. Literally, 40 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:46,560 Speaker 1: the next the next sentence is, although lately, he's been 41 00:02:46,639 --> 00:02:54,480 Speaker 1: questioning the religion of Christianity, says Jesus was king of 42 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:57,400 Speaker 1: the Jews and Christians in general have been evil. So like, 43 00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:59,399 Speaker 1: I don't know if you're trying, if you if you're 44 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:03,120 Speaker 1: trying to say that he is thinking. He's putting a 45 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:08,520 Speaker 1: separation between Jesus and Christianity, the religion which Christianity in 46 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:13,640 Speaker 1: itself means little Christ. It was that term. That phrase 47 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:18,920 Speaker 1: was originally used in a mocking way from the scoffers 48 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:22,880 Speaker 1: looking at believers in Jesus, going oh you little, you, 49 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:26,680 Speaker 1: little Christ, which is you Christians? You just try to 50 00:03:26,919 --> 00:03:30,080 Speaker 1: you're trying to be like him? And to that we 51 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 1: as Christians, we say, amen, it's a great title, you know, thanks, 52 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:36,560 Speaker 1: thanks for calling us that. You know, that's the goal. 53 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:42,440 Speaker 1: I want to be more like him. So and really 54 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:46,680 Speaker 1: that's our calling is to to be through sanctification, which 55 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:53,800 Speaker 1: after conversion, we are slowly shedding our identity with this 56 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:58,840 Speaker 1: world and gaining our identity in Christ and becoming more 57 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:01,560 Speaker 1: and more like him. And then and then when we 58 00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:06,200 Speaker 1: receive new bodies and we're redeemed from this world, when 59 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:09,520 Speaker 1: we die or if he returns, then we will be 60 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:14,960 Speaker 1: like him in a glorified sense. That's getting maybe that's 61 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:19,760 Speaker 1: getting too theological for this question. But here's the deal, Katie. 62 00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:22,560 Speaker 1: I don't think we overspiritualize this. I don't think we 63 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:25,240 Speaker 1: overthink this. I don't think we have to call it 64 00:04:25,279 --> 00:04:27,360 Speaker 1: what it's not. I don't think we have to say 65 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,800 Speaker 1: things like, but he loves Jesus and praise at nine. 66 00:04:29,839 --> 00:04:32,200 Speaker 1: He thinks churches are racist in old school, which is 67 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:34,080 Speaker 1: I don't think we have to say any of that. 68 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:36,560 Speaker 1: I think we just call it what is and say 69 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:41,479 Speaker 1: you need to say my husband's not a Christian. He's not, 70 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:47,680 Speaker 1: which is why all these weird questions come up, which 71 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:52,279 Speaker 1: is why he says that Christians have been evil in 72 00:04:52,279 --> 00:04:55,159 Speaker 1: the past. I mean, let's think about that statement for 73 00:04:55,160 --> 00:05:01,039 Speaker 1: a second. How strange that would be if you know, 74 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:07,880 Speaker 1: I've defined Christianity Christians as being little Christ and them 75 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:19,200 Speaker 1: people humans, faulty, imperfect humans, trying to emulate another, and 76 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:25,599 Speaker 1: in that messing up and and falling victim to their 77 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:30,080 Speaker 1: their their worldly, sinful, fleshly passions like we all do, 78 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:35,240 Speaker 1: and then then blaming the person that they're following for that. 79 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:42,400 Speaker 1: It's it would be like I see a kid on 80 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:47,039 Speaker 1: the street with a basketball and he has deflated the 81 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:51,719 Speaker 1: basketball and he's using it like a paddle and walking 82 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:56,279 Speaker 1: around town slapping people with it. Yeah, and he's like 83 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:58,320 Speaker 1: the kid that gets in all the trouble because he 84 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:01,479 Speaker 1: slapping everybody with a deflated bat basketball. And I look 85 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:04,480 Speaker 1: at that and I say, I never trust it. The 86 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:08,760 Speaker 1: NBA can't stand the NBA. I mean, look at that. 87 00:06:09,279 --> 00:06:11,680 Speaker 1: Look at that, and you go grant to that. What 88 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:13,920 Speaker 1: that has nothing to do with the NBA at all. 89 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:17,640 Speaker 1: There's nothing at all to do with professional basketball. This 90 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:20,880 Speaker 1: is just this is a kid who's using a basketball 91 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:24,000 Speaker 1: in the wrong way. And so that's that's what I think. 92 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:28,200 Speaker 1: Every time someone says Christianity has been their Christians have 93 00:06:28,279 --> 00:06:31,320 Speaker 1: been evil in the past, I say, does that surprise 94 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:38,360 Speaker 1: you that that shouldn't be surprising to anyone. What should 95 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:43,800 Speaker 1: be surprising is that any Christians are actually good at all. 96 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:46,720 Speaker 1: If you see that, you should say, that's a miracle 97 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:50,039 Speaker 1: because I knew that person before he knew Jesus. I 98 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:53,040 Speaker 1: knew that person and he was a wretch, and now 99 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:57,200 Speaker 1: look at him, he's actually kind of decent. That's a miracle. 100 00:06:57,279 --> 00:06:59,920 Speaker 1: We don't say that as much usually we say the opposite, 101 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:01,839 Speaker 1: Say that person says they're a Christian, but look, they're 102 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:06,680 Speaker 1: actually a hypocrite. And to that, I say, as a 103 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:12,520 Speaker 1: Christian myself, Christians are really and should only be the 104 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:17,520 Speaker 1: only people in the world who gather together and actually 105 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:20,400 Speaker 1: realize that they are hypocrites. The rest of the world's 106 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:24,680 Speaker 1: hypocrites too, they just don't admit it. Christians should readily admit, yes, 107 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:29,800 Speaker 1: we're hypocritical. Lord help me, Lord, help me in my criticism, 108 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:35,080 Speaker 1: in my hypocriticism, Lord help me be better like we 109 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:39,160 Speaker 1: should delive in that world. We're just constantly digging and 110 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:45,760 Speaker 1: stirring and desiring more and shedding, shedding the flesh. Okay, 111 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:49,120 Speaker 1: So where does that leave you, Katie? You know, with 112 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:53,280 Speaker 1: what I've said, it leaves me with to answer your question, 113 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:58,000 Speaker 1: should I follow my husband and understand his questioning or 114 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:03,240 Speaker 1: find a church myself and go alone. Well, you can't 115 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:06,520 Speaker 1: follow your husband because he's not going anywhere. He's not 116 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:11,480 Speaker 1: going anywhere. He's he's dead in the water. He is 117 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:16,400 Speaker 1: spiritually dead, and he's he's emotionally dead for you to follow. 118 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:19,920 Speaker 1: So he's like sitting, he's like in quicksand right now, 119 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:26,000 Speaker 1: So you can't go in there with him unless and 120 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:28,400 Speaker 1: this is another conversation we would have if I was 121 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:32,480 Speaker 1: in the truck with you, I'd say, tell me about you, 122 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:34,920 Speaker 1: you know, let me know, let me know more about 123 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:43,040 Speaker 1: what's going on with you, because how do we know 124 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:46,120 Speaker 1: that you're not in the same boat. I think that's 125 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:48,440 Speaker 1: I think we would that those are questions I would ask, 126 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:54,560 Speaker 1: These are things I would wonder. And so the the 127 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,760 Speaker 1: answer to should I follow my husband is that's a no. 128 00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:01,560 Speaker 1: When we could eliminate that, that's off the table. And 129 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:03,959 Speaker 1: then the other thing is let me let me kind 130 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,480 Speaker 1: of circle back to the beginning of this question where 131 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:10,319 Speaker 1: you said your husband hasn't a liked, hasn't liked most 132 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:13,760 Speaker 1: churches you've attended. He thinks they're this, or he thinks 133 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:16,640 Speaker 1: they're that, or they're just not quite as what he wants. 134 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:19,880 Speaker 1: We know now that he's not a Christian, so we 135 00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:23,840 Speaker 1: know that none of those reasons matter at all, because 136 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:29,320 Speaker 1: a non Christian has no business deciding which church they 137 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:33,640 Speaker 1: will go to. Right, that's common sense? Right, that doesn't 138 00:09:33,679 --> 00:09:35,400 Speaker 1: You don't have to be religious, You don't have to 139 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:39,360 Speaker 1: be a Christian at all to agree with me on 140 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:42,080 Speaker 1: that right, we could say that if you if you're 141 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:46,440 Speaker 1: not part of the religion, then you can't be part 142 00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:50,200 Speaker 1: of the decision of which group of that religion to 143 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:58,600 Speaker 1: gather in. Right, That's totally obvious. And so yes too, 144 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,880 Speaker 1: you can continue search and you might be able to 145 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:03,680 Speaker 1: go back to some of the churches where he said 146 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:07,040 Speaker 1: he they were slightly racist. That's very strange. I would 147 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,960 Speaker 1: want to ask many more questions about what you mean 148 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:14,040 Speaker 1: what you mean by that, because if you take the 149 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:18,000 Speaker 1: Bible and you take it to its most logical conclusion, 150 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:23,240 Speaker 1: it could be the farthest furthest thing from racism that 151 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:30,480 Speaker 1: you could possibly find. All people are created equal in 152 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:34,000 Speaker 1: the eyes of God. That's clear. And then the old 153 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:37,480 Speaker 1: school thing, that's that's an argument that that's another interesting 154 00:10:37,559 --> 00:10:40,880 Speaker 1: question I would want to ask more about because because 155 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:43,080 Speaker 1: the Bible, the message in the Bible has not changed, 156 00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:47,839 Speaker 1: and so the only thing that changes really is the 157 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:53,120 Speaker 1: culture by which we apply the truth of the Bible too. 158 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:58,040 Speaker 1: And so if a church is not keeping up with 159 00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:06,480 Speaker 1: the ability to apply solid, biblical, unchanging truth to an 160 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:11,560 Speaker 1: ever changing, fleety culture, if they've lost the ability to 161 00:11:11,679 --> 00:11:15,520 Speaker 1: do that, and that's what you mean by old school 162 00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:18,719 Speaker 1: then I agree with you. But if you mean by 163 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:21,120 Speaker 1: old school, or if your husband means by old school 164 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:25,240 Speaker 1: they sing old songs, I say, well, all songs are 165 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:28,000 Speaker 1: going to be old in ten years these days. If 166 00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:30,800 Speaker 1: you say old school meaning that has old people in it, 167 00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:33,760 Speaker 1: I say that's great. I want old people in the church. 168 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:39,000 Speaker 1: If you say old school in terms of they do 169 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:45,559 Speaker 1: old timey things like light candles and go through different 170 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:49,679 Speaker 1: kind of liturgy, then I say that's probably the denomination 171 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:54,920 Speaker 1: you're looking at, and not necessarily that particular style of church. 172 00:11:55,280 --> 00:12:00,839 Speaker 1: Right I hope, I hope. I do this podcast, and 173 00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:03,000 Speaker 1: I don't know as a whole if I'm making sense. 174 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:05,200 Speaker 1: If you're tracking with me, I hope you're tracking with me. 175 00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:08,840 Speaker 1: But here's my point. Your husband's not a Christian. You 176 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:11,280 Speaker 1: might not be either. You need to keep looking for 177 00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:14,520 Speaker 1: a church. Non Christian shouldn't be the deciding factor on 178 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:17,960 Speaker 1: which church they like. You have to pour yourself into 179 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,520 Speaker 1: a bunch of other believers. Let them bring you into 180 00:12:20,559 --> 00:12:23,040 Speaker 1: the family, join them. Of course, you're not going to 181 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:25,000 Speaker 1: follow your husband. He can't follow him because he's not 182 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:29,120 Speaker 1: going anywhere. You need to love him, you need to 183 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,160 Speaker 1: you need to understand him. And be there for him 184 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:35,080 Speaker 1: and serve him all these things, and you need to. 185 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:38,200 Speaker 1: You could still go to church and do still love 186 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:40,960 Speaker 1: and not judge, and not be hypocritical and not push 187 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,080 Speaker 1: him out. You could still go to church and join 188 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:46,000 Speaker 1: a body of believers and sit under faithful teaching and 189 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:48,560 Speaker 1: have your own quiet devotional time with your own Bible 190 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:51,040 Speaker 1: and learn who God is, which we see as He's 191 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:53,679 Speaker 1: revealed himself through the Bible. We get to know who 192 00:12:53,679 --> 00:12:56,640 Speaker 1: God is because He's told us about himself through the Bible. 193 00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:59,079 Speaker 1: So as you start to read your Bible every morning 194 00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:00,960 Speaker 1: and you learn more and more about who He is, 195 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,920 Speaker 1: and you surround yourself with other believers, and you still 196 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:08,720 Speaker 1: love and serve and respect with gentleness your husband. That's 197 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:11,720 Speaker 1: the best you could do. And you tell him the gospel, 198 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:19,959 Speaker 1: and then you and you pray unceasingly for his soul 199 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:23,080 Speaker 1: for salvation. And then one day he comes in and 200 00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:28,880 Speaker 1: he says, you know, I gotta tell you, Katie, I've 201 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:33,880 Speaker 1: watched you and the kids go to this church, and 202 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:37,080 Speaker 1: I've watched how they have loved you and wrap their 203 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:39,959 Speaker 1: arms around you, and how you have loved them, and 204 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:44,800 Speaker 1: you've served them, and I feel left out and what 205 00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:46,520 Speaker 1: I see out here in the world and everything else 206 00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:50,400 Speaker 1: going on, I don't see. I don't see that. With 207 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:54,720 Speaker 1: where you are, I see something special there. And do 208 00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:56,800 Speaker 1: you think I could go with you? I could join 209 00:13:56,840 --> 00:14:00,880 Speaker 1: you and you could say yes. I've been waiting for 210 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:04,640 Speaker 1: you to say that, and I would say that would 211 00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:07,760 Speaker 1: be a really, really good scenario to happen through this. 212 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:14,800 Speaker 1: I hope that I'm clear on this. Let's go to 213 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:19,960 Speaker 1: another question, Shelby. Hey, Granger, I don't know how to 214 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,760 Speaker 1: take care of this problem that I've been having. I 215 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:25,560 Speaker 1: have terrible nightmares that stem from being raped as a 216 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:29,160 Speaker 1: little kid. Then as I got older, I became addicted 217 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:33,160 Speaker 1: to pornography. I have been freed from pornography for about 218 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:35,760 Speaker 1: two and a half years now, but I continue to 219 00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:40,840 Speaker 1: have frequent nightmares about fifty percent of the time. All 220 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:44,600 Speaker 1: of the nightmares that come from these two things are 221 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:48,040 Speaker 1: nearly unbearable and make it difficult for me to even 222 00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:50,920 Speaker 1: try to sleep. Every time I close my eyes, these 223 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:54,160 Speaker 1: things play through my mind. I don't know what I 224 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,280 Speaker 1: need to do in order to make these dreams less frequent. 225 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:03,880 Speaker 1: Thanks Shelby, so sorry for this horror that sounds like 226 00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:07,960 Speaker 1: you're in right now. I have two things for you 227 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:16,520 Speaker 1: right off the bat. Number one, you have to understand 228 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:22,880 Speaker 1: that God is sovereign. God is all purposing, all knowing, 229 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:30,480 Speaker 1: all powerful, sovereign over everything, including evil, including salvation of souls. 230 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:34,960 Speaker 1: He's sovereign even over free will. He's sovereign over everything 231 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:39,560 Speaker 1: that does not deny that our human responsibility to respond 232 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:44,160 Speaker 1: to him, to respond to his word, to his sovereignty 233 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:50,200 Speaker 1: as his people. But we have failed to do that. 234 00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:55,880 Speaker 1: We have failed to do that in every way. Knowing this, 235 00:15:56,440 --> 00:16:00,680 Speaker 1: God sent forth his son Jesus, born of woman, born 236 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:04,040 Speaker 1: under the law, to redeem those who were under the law. 237 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:10,040 Speaker 1: And he did that by living a perfect life, going 238 00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:14,280 Speaker 1: to the cross, dying on the cross. Three days later, 239 00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:19,120 Speaker 1: he resurrected from the cross, proving that that sacrifice on 240 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:24,520 Speaker 1: the cross was accepted by God. What does that mean. 241 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:27,080 Speaker 1: It means that he took on the punishment that we 242 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:30,440 Speaker 1: deserve for rejecting, for not responding to him. He took 243 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:35,120 Speaker 1: on that punishment onto his own body. He became sin 244 00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:38,520 Speaker 1: for us so that in him we might become the 245 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:44,080 Speaker 1: righteousness of God. Peter Wrights, so that he could then 246 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:47,120 Speaker 1: reconcile us or Another word for that is he could 247 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:51,640 Speaker 1: bring us to God because we've been separated from Him 248 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:54,800 Speaker 1: through our sin and all our problems and all everything 249 00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:57,720 Speaker 1: that we have done to separate ourselves from God. Jesus goes, 250 00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:00,280 Speaker 1: I bring you back to him. I bring you back 251 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,960 Speaker 1: to Him, and I do that from the cross. So 252 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:08,960 Speaker 1: all who look to him Jesus repent, turn away from 253 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:12,040 Speaker 1: their sin and believe in him, and to turn to 254 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:18,560 Speaker 1: Jesus by faith. Then we are redeemed, which means we 255 00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:22,160 Speaker 1: are justified, which is a great way of saying we're 256 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:30,199 Speaker 1: saved eternally. Our souls are safe through that. Through that 257 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:34,080 Speaker 1: being safe, that being justified, what happens to us is 258 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:38,840 Speaker 1: we are adopted as sons and daughters of God, the 259 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:44,360 Speaker 1: king of the universe. It's incredible co errs with Jesus, 260 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:46,760 Speaker 1: who he gets it by divine right as a son, 261 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:51,440 Speaker 1: and we get it as an adopted co irr, which 262 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:56,879 Speaker 1: is crazy. Heirs to the kingdom, all of it ours. 263 00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:02,199 Speaker 1: And when that takes root in your heart and you 264 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:07,320 Speaker 1: begin to ponder for a moment our total depravity, our 265 00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:13,040 Speaker 1: our desire to seek things like pornography like you said, 266 00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,720 Speaker 1: or anything else that separates us from God and the 267 00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:19,760 Speaker 1: fact that no matter how bad it gets for us, 268 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:23,600 Speaker 1: that Jesus comes in and goes, I die for that. 269 00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:27,480 Speaker 1: I died for that. I died for that. Look to me, 270 00:18:28,119 --> 00:18:33,680 Speaker 1: and you're safe, justified, redeemed, restored, forgiven, adopted, co errors 271 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:37,879 Speaker 1: your mind. Okay, So then we look to him and 272 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:40,800 Speaker 1: and when that takes root in your heart, these things 273 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:44,480 Speaker 1: just start to break their hold in us. These ideas 274 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:48,879 Speaker 1: that were that were addicted to something and we're having 275 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:54,080 Speaker 1: nightmares about something, and then everything is temporal, it's all temporary, 276 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:58,040 Speaker 1: and these temporary things they start to lose their hold. 277 00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:01,080 Speaker 1: They start to just slowly break a part like old 278 00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:04,560 Speaker 1: paint on a fence. It just starts to flake away. 279 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:07,680 Speaker 1: The stuff that once was just so polished and had 280 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:10,600 Speaker 1: us held and glued starts to break away and just 281 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:14,720 Speaker 1: fall off. That's what happens when the Gospel takes root 282 00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:18,320 Speaker 1: in your heart. And that's why I say it to you, 283 00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,440 Speaker 1: and that's why I repeat it to myself, and that's 284 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:22,920 Speaker 1: why I say it every time I'm on this podcast, 285 00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:25,760 Speaker 1: because Paul says, the gospel is the power of God 286 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:31,720 Speaker 1: for salvation, that hearing it, hearing it is a mechanism 287 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:35,879 Speaker 1: that starts to break apart, that paint, that temporal paint 288 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,920 Speaker 1: in your body that just goes I am not of 289 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:45,240 Speaker 1: this world and I hear that. Now that's number one. 290 00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:56,359 Speaker 1: Number two, this is getting into the realm of I 291 00:19:56,359 --> 00:20:05,160 Speaker 1: would encourage professional help with this because when it starts 292 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:10,320 Speaker 1: to become outside that, when it starts to become in 293 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:16,560 Speaker 1: the in the in the world of ruining your your 294 00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:21,160 Speaker 1: ruining your life, because there is a there is something 295 00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:26,360 Speaker 1: that is stuck in your mind that needs to be unlodged, 296 00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:30,879 Speaker 1: and it's it's a it's it's at a neural level, 297 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:36,600 Speaker 1: that's in your sleep. Then I say, there may may 298 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:39,080 Speaker 1: I'm not advocating any of this, but I'm saying there 299 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:45,359 Speaker 1: may be a doctor that needs to see you. I 300 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,600 Speaker 1: would say that would that would be an encouraging thing 301 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:51,840 Speaker 1: for me to tell you after you've heard the Gospel 302 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:56,239 Speaker 1: and you let that take root in your soul, I 303 00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:59,359 Speaker 1: say it would It would not. It is secondary, yes 304 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:02,120 Speaker 1: to the God, but but I would say it would 305 00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:06,120 Speaker 1: not be a bad thing to then see a doctor 306 00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:09,080 Speaker 1: with these things. If you want to get a hold 307 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:12,359 Speaker 1: of me, go to cameo dot com slash Granger Smith 308 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:14,840 Speaker 1: and I could send you a video message made right 309 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:16,680 Speaker 1: here on my phone whatever you want me to say, 310 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:19,439 Speaker 1: Happy Birthday, happy anniversary. It's a great way for you 311 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:21,600 Speaker 1: and I to stay in contact and to get someone 312 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:24,320 Speaker 1: a gift that might seem to have everything. Hey, get 313 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:27,120 Speaker 1: him a gift at cameo dot com slash Granger Smith. 314 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:37,840 Speaker 1: So your next question comes from anonymous here. It says, 315 00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:40,320 Speaker 1: Hey Granger, I love your music and your podcast. I've 316 00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:42,320 Speaker 1: been going through a tough time lately. My mom and 317 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,040 Speaker 1: dad got divorced when my sister and I were two. 318 00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:48,159 Speaker 1: My dad has not supported me my whole life and 319 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:53,640 Speaker 1: almost puts me underneath his own needs before anything else, 320 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:58,119 Speaker 1: including his own kids. To keep this short, I have 321 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:02,200 Speaker 1: not been to the house I'm assuming his house for 322 00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:07,080 Speaker 1: two years because of many situations that have happened. His 323 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:12,280 Speaker 1: parents have not been doing well lately, and I went 324 00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:14,400 Speaker 1: up last year by myself to see them, and then 325 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:17,360 Speaker 1: I get yelled at by them for about two hours 326 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:20,399 Speaker 1: for not showing up from my dad and that I 327 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:23,480 Speaker 1: have not been to his house. I am torn whether 328 00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:27,080 Speaker 1: to go back or not. I know I will regret 329 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:30,120 Speaker 1: one day if and when they pass and I did 330 00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:32,280 Speaker 1: not see them the rest of my family supports me 331 00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:35,640 Speaker 1: some more than others, but I would love to have 332 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:37,840 Speaker 1: some of your input from the outside looking in. Thanks 333 00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:43,000 Speaker 1: for your time, Okay, Anonymous, appreciate you let me dive 334 00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:49,560 Speaker 1: into this with the information that I know your dad 335 00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:53,600 Speaker 1: is that this is a story we see, typical story 336 00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:56,800 Speaker 1: a dad not in your life. I wish I knew, 337 00:22:56,960 --> 00:23:00,240 Speaker 1: I wish I knew if you were male or female. No, 338 00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:07,000 Speaker 1: and he's a narcissist. Sounds like, you know, your typical 339 00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:13,760 Speaker 1: narcissistic dad. And then like a typical narcissistic dad, as 340 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:17,080 Speaker 1: he gets older, he starts blaming you that you don't 341 00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:20,080 Speaker 1: come to his house when most of his life he 342 00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:23,640 Speaker 1: has kept you out, kept you at bay and underneath 343 00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:27,439 Speaker 1: his own needs. It's always interesting, but it usually happens 344 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:30,840 Speaker 1: that way. Right, he's going to blame you for abandoning 345 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:34,639 Speaker 1: him after he was never part of your life. So 346 00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:40,640 Speaker 1: you go back and you visit your grandparents. Right. It's 347 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:43,080 Speaker 1: interesting that you said his parents and you didn't say 348 00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:48,000 Speaker 1: my grandparents, which I don't think there's another way to 349 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:51,560 Speaker 1: look at it. Besides, they are your grandparents, but you 350 00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:55,879 Speaker 1: you haven't said it that way. You didn't say that 351 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:59,240 Speaker 1: you never said it that way. Okay, So you said 352 00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:01,920 Speaker 1: his parents, I've not been doing very well lately, and 353 00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:03,600 Speaker 1: I went up there last year by myself and got 354 00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:05,800 Speaker 1: yelled at by them for two hours for not showing 355 00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:08,280 Speaker 1: up for my dad. So they don't even support you. 356 00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:12,520 Speaker 1: There are probably things, Anonymous that I don't know about you, 357 00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:16,280 Speaker 1: and so I don't want to assume that you're perfect here. 358 00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:20,040 Speaker 1: In fact, I know I don't. I know that you're not, 359 00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:24,160 Speaker 1: and that's okay, and that I don't need that information. 360 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:28,000 Speaker 1: But I will say there might be some big things 361 00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:30,199 Speaker 1: that I don't know that you have done in the 362 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:32,960 Speaker 1: past and kind of riled people up, and that's why 363 00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:35,680 Speaker 1: half the family is mad at you and the other 364 00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:38,480 Speaker 1: half supports you. So I don't want to get too 365 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:42,280 Speaker 1: deep in this conversation without knowing you at all, without 366 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:45,760 Speaker 1: having you know all these secondary questions I have answered, 367 00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:51,040 Speaker 1: But we could look at this at face value. You 368 00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:53,160 Speaker 1: got yelled at them for two hours for not showing up. 369 00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:56,840 Speaker 1: I'm not concerned about that. I wouldn't be concerned if 370 00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:58,760 Speaker 1: you and I were talking to the truck about that, 371 00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:01,840 Speaker 1: because you can't con you can even if you've done 372 00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:04,880 Speaker 1: stuff in the past. You can't control if they yell 373 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:09,720 Speaker 1: at you. But what you can do is control how 374 00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:12,600 Speaker 1: you respond to them. It's the only thing you have 375 00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:16,399 Speaker 1: control over really in these kind of situations is how 376 00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:23,600 Speaker 1: you respond to them. Are you loving? You kind? Are respectful? 377 00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:32,320 Speaker 1: Are you gentle? Are you non aggressive? Or are you 378 00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:35,080 Speaker 1: someone that wants to argue about every point? Are you 379 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:40,359 Speaker 1: someone that stands with no humility? In fact, you stand 380 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:45,760 Speaker 1: with some kind of fierce pride against everything that they're 381 00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:51,520 Speaker 1: trying to make an accusation against you with That doesn't 382 00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:56,080 Speaker 1: get you anywhere, and it doesn't prove a point for 383 00:25:56,200 --> 00:26:00,000 Speaker 1: you to be the better person in this situation by 384 00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:05,439 Speaker 1: standing proud and standing firm in your resolution, you know, 385 00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:09,760 Speaker 1: especially when it comes to family, that just doesn't get 386 00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:18,080 Speaker 1: you anywhere. Instead, you come in with humility and you say, Grandma, Grandpa, 387 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:28,160 Speaker 1: I believe you're right. I have not been there for dad. 388 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:32,360 Speaker 1: And in your mind you're thinking, but because dad's a narcissist, 389 00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:35,080 Speaker 1: that's why I haven't been there for him. And if 390 00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:36,960 Speaker 1: he only was better to me growing up, and he 391 00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:40,240 Speaker 1: wasn't and he was oppressive to me, that's why I 392 00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:43,679 Speaker 1: avoid him. That's what you want to say. Just don't 393 00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:50,000 Speaker 1: say it because ultimately they know this, so it doesn't 394 00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:53,760 Speaker 1: need to be repeated. Instead, you say it, you know 395 00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:57,880 Speaker 1: you're right, I haven't been there for him, and that's 396 00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:00,680 Speaker 1: not a lie. They are right you haven't been there 397 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:07,000 Speaker 1: for him, So you're just repeating the truth, right, I 398 00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:12,040 Speaker 1: haven't been there for him and a son, assuming your son, 399 00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:17,720 Speaker 1: a son should be there for their dad. I want 400 00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:22,120 Speaker 1: to get better at this? Can you help me get 401 00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:27,240 Speaker 1: better at this? Can you imagine if you actually said 402 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:29,720 Speaker 1: it that way, in that tone, if you said that, 403 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:32,000 Speaker 1: they wouldn't be yelling at you for two hours like 404 00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:34,800 Speaker 1: you said here. They would have ended in ten seconds 405 00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:38,879 Speaker 1: and they would have been like, oh, well, yeah, let's talk. 406 00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:43,120 Speaker 1: You see how quickly it gets diffused. But it takes 407 00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:47,240 Speaker 1: a measure of humility to get there, because even me, 408 00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:50,760 Speaker 1: as I say that, if I'm in your situation, I 409 00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:54,199 Speaker 1: have to fight this sudden urge, this pride that wells up, 410 00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:57,160 Speaker 1: that goes oh, I want to fight you. You're yelling 411 00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,320 Speaker 1: at me, so I want to yell back to prove 412 00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:04,560 Speaker 1: my word. And you asked me. Look in the very 413 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:08,080 Speaker 1: last sentence, you said, I want to know your input 414 00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:11,160 Speaker 1: from the outside looking in, And that's a great way 415 00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:13,760 Speaker 1: to look at it, because from the outside looking in, 416 00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:16,199 Speaker 1: I don't have any pride in this. I don't have 417 00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:18,720 Speaker 1: any reason for you to win an argument, or for 418 00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:22,280 Speaker 1: you to look good or to be held up in 419 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:27,520 Speaker 1: a nice light. That is irrelevant to me. Instead, I 420 00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:31,440 Speaker 1: just I want you to have peace. I want the 421 00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:35,640 Speaker 1: situation diffused. I want you to get to a place 422 00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:40,720 Speaker 1: where you could to begin reconciliation with your family. And 423 00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:44,280 Speaker 1: to even get there, to the position of where reconciliation 424 00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:49,840 Speaker 1: can begin, somebody has to put down the pride, and 425 00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:53,400 Speaker 1: like we said before, since you can't control them, it 426 00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:57,320 Speaker 1: only has to be you. You're the only one that has 427 00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:01,080 Speaker 1: control over your own pride. We hope and we pray 428 00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:03,520 Speaker 1: that they come to the same kind of conclusion and 429 00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:08,240 Speaker 1: they start welling up with their own humility and putting 430 00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:12,520 Speaker 1: down their pride, humbling themselves. But you can't control that, 431 00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:17,840 Speaker 1: and odds are they probably won't. So let's go to 432 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:19,440 Speaker 1: the next part of your question. You say, I'm torn 433 00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:22,440 Speaker 1: whether to go back or not. I know I will 434 00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:24,520 Speaker 1: regret one day if they pass and I do not 435 00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:31,280 Speaker 1: see them, then that's on you. Because I believe you're right. 436 00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:35,800 Speaker 1: I believe you've said it, you've typed it, you sit 437 00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:39,520 Speaker 1: the email. I believe that you are you will self 438 00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:43,880 Speaker 1: fulfill your own self prophecy that if they do pass, 439 00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:46,600 Speaker 1: you will have a level maybe you won't be crippling, 440 00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:48,680 Speaker 1: but you will have a level of regret for not 441 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:52,160 Speaker 1: going to see them. And so how do you stop that? 442 00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:56,360 Speaker 1: You go and see them, You say, granted, they might 443 00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:57,960 Speaker 1: yell at me for two hours. I think we kind 444 00:29:57,960 --> 00:29:59,560 Speaker 1: of went down that road. I think we've figured out 445 00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:08,520 Speaker 1: how to de use that. Humble yourselves. And as far 446 00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:11,719 Speaker 1: as your dad, it's the same thing, and we deal 447 00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:14,479 Speaker 1: with this almost every single podcast. I will say something 448 00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:19,040 Speaker 1: along the lines of to forgive someone is not the 449 00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:24,360 Speaker 1: same thing as trusting someone. It's not the same thing 450 00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:27,560 Speaker 1: as seeing them in a different way than you ever 451 00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:31,680 Speaker 1: saw them before. That's not what forgiveness means. Forgiveness doesn't mean, Dad, 452 00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:35,760 Speaker 1: I forgive you and thereby see you as a different 453 00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:38,360 Speaker 1: person than I used to see you, as you used 454 00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:42,760 Speaker 1: to be narcissist and now you're not anymore. That's part 455 00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:47,240 Speaker 1: of this forgiveness is not true. You know that everyone 456 00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:53,040 Speaker 1: knows that. So forgiving your heart position is part of 457 00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:57,120 Speaker 1: this humility, part of humbling yourself saying, Dad, Dad, I 458 00:30:57,120 --> 00:31:00,560 Speaker 1: forgive you, and I want to be here, and you're 459 00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:03,200 Speaker 1: thinking in your mind, but you've never been there for me, Dad, 460 00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:10,880 Speaker 1: And you know that this forgiving doesn't change that, but 461 00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:14,240 Speaker 1: it sure will give you peace, and it sure will 462 00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:17,000 Speaker 1: prevent you from having that regret of not being there 463 00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:24,160 Speaker 1: whenever your grandparents pass. So you go back into the fire, 464 00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:30,280 Speaker 1: You humble yourself, You listen more than you talk, You 465 00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:34,000 Speaker 1: fight the urge to well up in pride and lash 466 00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:39,840 Speaker 1: back when they lash at you. And I think you'll 467 00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:50,880 Speaker 1: walk away feeling a lot better. Next question, we have 468 00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:55,560 Speaker 1: time for some more. Let's do this. Next question says 469 00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:58,040 Speaker 1: Hello Grandeur. I'm currently twenty. This is from Brandon by 470 00:31:58,080 --> 00:32:01,880 Speaker 1: the way, twenty years old from Missouri who is studying 471 00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:05,160 Speaker 1: cybersecurity as well as at a well known university. My 472 00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:08,120 Speaker 1: father has a nineteen seventy nine Chevy Camaro Z E 473 00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:10,640 Speaker 1: twenty eight in the garage on Jack's It is his 474 00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:13,040 Speaker 1: first ever car that he bought when he was seventeen, 475 00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:15,880 Speaker 1: and he told me a lot about it. Right before 476 00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:17,840 Speaker 1: I was born. He stripped the Camaro to nearly the 477 00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:20,520 Speaker 1: frame and sold it all with the intention of being 478 00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:25,640 Speaker 1: it being a father son project car during my teenage years. Well, 479 00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:30,240 Speaker 1: a divorce happened and that never happened earlier. He told 480 00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:33,320 Speaker 1: me that he's considering selling it to a scrap yard 481 00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:35,800 Speaker 1: next year to free up space, since he's never been 482 00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:38,120 Speaker 1: able to have the money to restore it since I 483 00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:41,360 Speaker 1: was sixteen. I have dreamt of surprising him with the 484 00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:47,040 Speaker 1: money to restore it, or using it using some sort 485 00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:53,280 Speaker 1: of life insurance policy money to restore the Camaro, and 486 00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:56,440 Speaker 1: I've even planned on putting three hundred dollars a month 487 00:32:56,480 --> 00:32:59,880 Speaker 1: into savings for the next twenty years to afford a 488 00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:05,640 Speaker 1: professionally built rist mood, which is around one hundred thousand dollars. 489 00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:08,440 Speaker 1: He says, I would like to talk to him about 490 00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:11,360 Speaker 1: it this fall while we're out fishing. I don't really 491 00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:13,360 Speaker 1: know how to convince him to keep the Camaro. He 492 00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:15,680 Speaker 1: needs the space in the garage and needs every bit 493 00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:17,920 Speaker 1: of the money, but I know he's emotionally attached to 494 00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:21,320 Speaker 1: the car. I don't have any place to store the 495 00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:25,480 Speaker 1: car now, and to counter any question about finances from 496 00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:29,000 Speaker 1: you on or my father, I know that I will 497 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,760 Speaker 1: be well off with money, given my career path and 498 00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:36,959 Speaker 1: my salary, potential, conservative spending my parents' life insurance, so 499 00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:38,680 Speaker 1: money will not be an issue. Any advice on this 500 00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,000 Speaker 1: approach would be awesome. Thank you, Brandon. All Right, let 501 00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:44,400 Speaker 1: me try to follow what's going on here with you. Brandon. 502 00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:49,840 Speaker 1: You think it'd be cool to restore this car. Your 503 00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:56,280 Speaker 1: dad is gonna give it away because he needs the money. 504 00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:58,800 Speaker 1: But you don't have the money right now. But you're 505 00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:02,959 Speaker 1: saying ill because I've got I'm in a good career 506 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:07,920 Speaker 1: path and so money's not gonna be an issue. I'm 507 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,000 Speaker 1: kind of shocked at this one hundred thousand dollars thing? 508 00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:15,000 Speaker 1: Is that right? Is that? Is that what a nineteen 509 00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:20,600 Speaker 1: seventy nine Camaro fully restored cost is one hundred thousand dollars? 510 00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:27,839 Speaker 1: That is insanity? Is there is there a more affordable 511 00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:31,080 Speaker 1: way to bond with your dad? That's okay, that's the 512 00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:35,759 Speaker 1: first question I have. Look, man, I see, I get it. 513 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:40,040 Speaker 1: It's it's an heirloom, it's a it's a piece of 514 00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:43,799 Speaker 1: your dad that that you remember. I can't help but 515 00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:48,719 Speaker 1: wonder though, if if it's if it's more of a 516 00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:56,520 Speaker 1: challenge for you and less of a bonding thing, like 517 00:34:56,640 --> 00:34:59,080 Speaker 1: maybe you just really want an awesome car. Maybe that's 518 00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:01,640 Speaker 1: part of it. You're like, maybe part of you goes 519 00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:05,800 Speaker 1: would be awesome to have a fully restored seventy nine Camaro, 520 00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:12,920 Speaker 1: especially it's twenty years old. I mean, that's a pretty average, 521 00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:18,239 Speaker 1: common twenty year old dream to have an awesome restored car. 522 00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:23,160 Speaker 1: And I get it. I you know, for me, a 523 00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:29,640 Speaker 1: similar situation with my dad restoring the seventy four GMC pickup, 524 00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:35,040 Speaker 1: except for full value of mine restored as maybe maybe 525 00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:39,160 Speaker 1: fifteen thousand bucks. So we're not talking the same game here, 526 00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:45,840 Speaker 1: you know, we're talking it's not the same. And mine 527 00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:49,799 Speaker 1: also was a COVID project and I had Butcher Bull 528 00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:53,360 Speaker 1: my two buddies helping me restore that, and it was 529 00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:57,680 Speaker 1: just in mom's barn and we did it for a 530 00:35:57,719 --> 00:36:01,160 Speaker 1: YouTube project. Really, that's kind of it's different. I don't 531 00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:04,960 Speaker 1: know if I would have done it in any other circumstance. 532 00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:08,200 Speaker 1: And so in that way, I do relate. In that 533 00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:10,879 Speaker 1: same way, I can't relate, especially to the one hundred 534 00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:13,799 Speaker 1: thousand dollars thing. If you don't have the money right now, 535 00:36:14,719 --> 00:36:18,399 Speaker 1: then I wouldn't rely on that money coming in one day, 536 00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:22,040 Speaker 1: because that could be a major problem if you're thinking 537 00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:24,280 Speaker 1: I will have the money. I know I'll have the money, 538 00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:27,040 Speaker 1: and then if it doesn't come, then you're in trouble 539 00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:31,759 Speaker 1: with the Camaro. So my suggestion really is simple. The 540 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:35,160 Speaker 1: most logical conclusion to this is you just meet with 541 00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:38,320 Speaker 1: your dad and you tell him this why you're fishing. 542 00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:42,520 Speaker 1: You say, Dad, because maybe he doesn't know this about you. 543 00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:46,239 Speaker 1: Maybe he just thought no one cares. This Camaro thing 544 00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:50,359 Speaker 1: was my idea. Brandon just went along with it because 545 00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:52,279 Speaker 1: he's Brandon, he's my son and he loves me. But 546 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:56,560 Speaker 1: this thing is this was always my deal, and so 547 00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:59,600 Speaker 1: I got to get rid of it. I need the money. 548 00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:01,600 Speaker 1: Maybe if you came to him and said, Dad, I 549 00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:04,000 Speaker 1: want to let you know that Kamara thing is not 550 00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:06,680 Speaker 1: just your deal. I think it's a big deal to 551 00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:09,680 Speaker 1: me too, and I would love the chance to be 552 00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:13,760 Speaker 1: with you and restore it. By the way, I'm throwing 553 00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:17,239 Speaker 1: out the idea of the professionally built risk AMoD one 554 00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:19,799 Speaker 1: hundred thousand. Throw that out. This is about you and 555 00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:24,000 Speaker 1: your dad bonding through this together. Tell him this. Tell 556 00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:26,720 Speaker 1: him Dad, I've been thinking about putting away three hundred 557 00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:29,560 Speaker 1: bucks a month. I could pay that to you if 558 00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:32,880 Speaker 1: you just keep it in your garage. Let's do this Dad. 559 00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:35,120 Speaker 1: I want you to know I would love to do this. 560 00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:41,439 Speaker 1: And then if he says I just I can't do it, Son, 561 00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:44,319 Speaker 1: I need to get rid of it, then you gotta 562 00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:47,440 Speaker 1: let it go. I think you got to let it go. 563 00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:50,200 Speaker 1: This is a different story right now. If you have 564 00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:54,680 Speaker 1: the money, Brandon, if you have the job already, then 565 00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:57,480 Speaker 1: it's a different story. So maybe you just say, okay, Dad, 566 00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:59,960 Speaker 1: can you make me a deal. How about this, Dad, 567 00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:02,759 Speaker 1: give me five years. Give me five years. It gives 568 00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:04,920 Speaker 1: you a good chance. Then, Brandon to save at three 569 00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:07,600 Speaker 1: in a month to secure the job in the career 570 00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:10,319 Speaker 1: that you want, and Dad just stores it for five years. 571 00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:12,759 Speaker 1: If you don't make it by then Dad gets to 572 00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:15,400 Speaker 1: sell it. If you do make it by, then you 573 00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:18,120 Speaker 1: buy it from him and you guys help restore it together. 574 00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:21,200 Speaker 1: I think that's a good compromise. If your dad says 575 00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:22,879 Speaker 1: no to the five years, then that means he really 576 00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:24,600 Speaker 1: needs the money and you've got to let this thing go. 577 00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:29,239 Speaker 1: Let's get another question once again. If you have a 578 00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:35,719 Speaker 1: question podcast at grangersmith dot com. One more. Next one 579 00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:41,120 Speaker 1: comes from anonymous says, Hey, Granger, I want to remain Anonymous. 580 00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:46,040 Speaker 1: I never loved to read growing up, but over the 581 00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:49,120 Speaker 1: past few years, I've grown up with a passion for reading. 582 00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:52,520 Speaker 1: A homeschool my kids. My husband and I lost a 583 00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:56,920 Speaker 1: child in twenty fifteen. She lived for sixteen and a 584 00:38:56,960 --> 00:39:00,640 Speaker 1: half hours and then passed away to my arms. Because 585 00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:02,880 Speaker 1: I would love a list of books that you recommend 586 00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:05,600 Speaker 1: that they can be grief journey books that could be 587 00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:09,600 Speaker 1: biblical growth books. I do prefer real life growth type books. 588 00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:11,759 Speaker 1: I would also love recommendations for books that I could 589 00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:14,520 Speaker 1: read to my children. Recently, in the past two years, 590 00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:17,239 Speaker 1: started back at church after stepping away from it in 591 00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:21,320 Speaker 1: twenty fifteen. We are a reformed Baptist denomination. If that matters. 592 00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:24,880 Speaker 1: I look up to you in Amber and how you 593 00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:27,320 Speaker 1: have both let God's light shine through you. Thanks in 594 00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:31,200 Speaker 1: advance for your help. Yeah, Anonymous, you didn't have to 595 00:39:31,239 --> 00:39:36,360 Speaker 1: be anonymous for that kind of question. This is probably 596 00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:39,600 Speaker 1: a format that wouldn't be helpful for me to go 597 00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:41,120 Speaker 1: down the list. First of all, I don't have notes 598 00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:42,840 Speaker 1: in front of me. It would just be off the 599 00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:45,640 Speaker 1: top of my head. And I would say for biblical 600 00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:50,600 Speaker 1: growth in this situation, I would go to the nine 601 00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:56,759 Speaker 1: Marx collection number nine M A r KS. There's a 602 00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:58,680 Speaker 1: bunch if you go to Amazon right now and just 603 00:39:58,719 --> 00:40:01,920 Speaker 1: type in nine marks, there's a bunch of very short, 604 00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:06,759 Speaker 1: easy to read, very practical, super down to earth, just 605 00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:10,719 Speaker 1: points in one direction type books. And they all are 606 00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:14,840 Speaker 1: very short, talking one hundred to one hundred and twenty 607 00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:22,280 Speaker 1: pages type short, super easy to read, and multi topics. 608 00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:26,400 Speaker 1: So you could look at one on what is a 609 00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:29,680 Speaker 1: healthy church. You could look at one on conversion, which 610 00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:31,400 Speaker 1: we talked about a little bit earlier in the podcast. 611 00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:37,520 Speaker 1: You could look at one on baptism, or discipling or elders. 612 00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:43,400 Speaker 1: There's a pretty decent list of different topics in biblical 613 00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:45,880 Speaker 1: growth like you're talking about that I think could be 614 00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:50,439 Speaker 1: really helpful for you. And so I don't necessarily have 615 00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:54,640 Speaker 1: a list of grief journey books. I'm I guess besides, 616 00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:59,120 Speaker 1: like a river, I don't run to those type of books, 617 00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:05,120 Speaker 1: except for some of the older classics like C. S. Lewis. 618 00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:10,239 Speaker 1: Anything by C. S. Lewis. He has a way of 619 00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:22,120 Speaker 1: poetically and practically wrapping himself around a topic that needs 620 00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:26,320 Speaker 1: to be understood. He did that in his children's books, 621 00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:28,399 Speaker 1: and so we can go there too, and that could 622 00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:31,040 Speaker 1: be the second part of your question. I think I would. 623 00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:34,560 Speaker 1: If you're recommending books for your children, I would love 624 00:41:34,719 --> 00:41:38,080 Speaker 1: to see them go to classic books like Chronicles of Narnia. 625 00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:43,480 Speaker 1: I have Lincoln right now reading The Hardy Boys from 626 00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:47,520 Speaker 1: the nineteen twenties. Really is when those books first started 627 00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:50,240 Speaker 1: coming out, and then they were made popular in the fifties, 628 00:41:50,320 --> 00:41:52,000 Speaker 1: and I read them as a kid, and I think 629 00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:54,960 Speaker 1: every boy should go through the Hardy Books, Hardy Boys 630 00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:59,279 Speaker 1: books collections. So London right now is reading Alice in Wonderland. 631 00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:04,480 Speaker 1: I would stick with classics. It's and they might resist 632 00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:07,840 Speaker 1: at first, but it's so important to have them grounded 633 00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:15,160 Speaker 1: in those classic books. What am I missing here? The C. S. 634 00:42:15,239 --> 00:42:17,880 Speaker 1: Lewis I would go first is A Grief Observed. That 635 00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:24,400 Speaker 1: is his grief book as he was reflecting on the 636 00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:29,400 Speaker 1: loss of his wife, A Grief Observed. Another great one 637 00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:34,920 Speaker 1: by C. S. Lewis is Surprised by joy Man, Just 638 00:42:35,080 --> 00:42:41,600 Speaker 1: a great way mere Christianity. Another famous one was a 639 00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:45,520 Speaker 1: book by him as he was It's a great apologetic book, 640 00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:51,480 Speaker 1: meaning it's a great book explaining what is Christianity, who 641 00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:54,480 Speaker 1: is God? Where does all this come from? What does 642 00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:57,640 Speaker 1: any of this mean? And what does that mean for me? 643 00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:01,399 Speaker 1: He wrote it in light of World War two, and 644 00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:05,000 Speaker 1: it was actually first a radio program, and it's so 645 00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:08,040 Speaker 1: it's gonna start off without even mentioning Christianity. It's just 646 00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:12,279 Speaker 1: starting with the natural law and how we get there 647 00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:17,160 Speaker 1: from that, And so I would I think that's that's 648 00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:21,760 Speaker 1: the list I would start at, without knowing you, without 649 00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:25,680 Speaker 1: knowing anything more about you, I think I would stick there. 650 00:43:25,719 --> 00:43:29,120 Speaker 1: I love personally, I love history, I love biographies, and 651 00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:31,600 Speaker 1: that they would probably just bog down a list of 652 00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:36,000 Speaker 1: boring things for you. But I think it's a good 653 00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:39,840 Speaker 1: question and probably better answered in a different type format 654 00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:42,920 Speaker 1: like social media, where could actually write some stuff out 655 00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:45,480 Speaker 1: for you. So, if you guys have an email or 656 00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:48,879 Speaker 1: a question for me, email podcast at gradersmith dot com 657 00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:52,160 Speaker 1: and I'll see y'all next Monday. Thanks for joining me 658 00:43:52,160 --> 00:43:55,440 Speaker 1: on the grader Smith Podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. 659 00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:58,400 Speaker 1: You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. 660 00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:01,719 Speaker 1: If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that 661 00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:05,200 Speaker 1: little like button and notification spell so that you never 662 00:44:05,320 --> 00:44:08,640 Speaker 1: miss anytime I upload a video. Yigi