WEBVTT - Second Cup: Be smart about your fears

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning.

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>tip is to be smart about your fears. Sometimes fears

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<v Speaker 1>can be conquered and sometimes they are there for a reason.

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<v Speaker 1>Wisdom is about knowing the difference. So I've been thinking

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<v Speaker 1>about fears recently, one because this is airing around Halloween,

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<v Speaker 1>and also because I've been reading Farnush to Rabi's new

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<v Speaker 1>book A Healthy State of Panic, which is about how

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<v Speaker 1>acknowledging your fears can be helpful for building your career

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<v Speaker 1>and achieving success. Anyway, fears are a complicated topic. Some

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<v Speaker 1>fears are deep seated and some are just about what

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<v Speaker 1>is unfamili Once upon a time I got really nervous

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<v Speaker 1>and scared of public speaking. Getting up in front of

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<v Speaker 1>big numbers of people and needing to entertain them for

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<v Speaker 1>an hour is not easy. But then eventually I learned

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<v Speaker 1>that if you write nonfiction books, speaking about them is

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<v Speaker 1>going to be part of your business. I did a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of speaking, and speaking got easier. If you give

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<v Speaker 1>a speech once, it's scary. If you give a speech

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<v Speaker 1>one hundred times, it just feels like Tuesday. Soon enough,

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<v Speaker 1>I was in the Tuesday camp and didn't feel frightened

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<v Speaker 1>by this sort of thing anymore. I assume that this

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<v Speaker 1>is what happens with people in any line of work

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<v Speaker 1>that involves some common phobias. If you spend a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of time in airplanes, as crew members do, whereas just

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<v Speaker 1>general frequent flyers do, you stop viewing turbulence is terrifying.

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<v Speaker 1>It's just like going over a speed bump on a road.

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<v Speaker 1>If you wind up in a job washing windows or

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<v Speaker 1>fixing roller coasters or something like that, you will get

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<v Speaker 1>over any lingering fear of heights. In any case, if

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<v Speaker 1>you have some fear that is keeping you from doing

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<v Speaker 1>something you want in life, then it's worth seeing what

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<v Speaker 1>you can do to be more rational about it. You

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<v Speaker 1>might be able to do some small, repeated exposures to

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<v Speaker 1>lessen the fear. Lots of people are afraid of investing.

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<v Speaker 1>You can lose money, but it's pretty hard to build

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<v Speaker 1>wealth without some form of investments. So you can keep

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<v Speaker 1>enough in safe assets to feel well safe and start

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<v Speaker 1>small and learn as you go over time. Small paper

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<v Speaker 1>losses won't feel scary, especially as you see that they

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<v Speaker 1>tend to be recovered over the long haul. If you

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<v Speaker 1>are scared of public speaking but you know it would

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<v Speaker 1>advance your career, you can join toast masks, or practice

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<v Speaker 1>in front of groups of friends, or give smaller talks

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<v Speaker 1>to friendly audiences, like maybe leading a class at your

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<v Speaker 1>house of worship. You might still feel some trepidation, but

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<v Speaker 1>you can decide to feel the fear and do it anyway.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't particularly enjoy flying, but I want to see

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<v Speaker 1>the world, and it is hard to do that without

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<v Speaker 1>taking to the skies. On the other hand, you don't

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<v Speaker 1>have to conquer all your fears. Sometimes you can just

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<v Speaker 1>accept that they are your quirks and you can build

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<v Speaker 1>your life avoiding them. I really really do not like

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<v Speaker 1>open heights, so I don't go rock climbing. Some of

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<v Speaker 1>my kids like it. I try not to watch. My

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<v Speaker 1>little brother does rock climbing quite seriously, again, try not

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<v Speaker 1>to watch. It is just not for me. It is

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<v Speaker 1>likely that I will without ever having gone skydiving or

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<v Speaker 1>bungee jumping or things like that. I am absolutely fine

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<v Speaker 1>with that. If you fear snakes, just skip those zoo exhibits.

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<v Speaker 1>It is fine. Sometimes fears might be smart. Some people

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<v Speaker 1>give off warning signs of being mean or vindictive, and

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<v Speaker 1>it might be worth just putting some space between you

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<v Speaker 1>and those people rather than going overboard trying to conquer

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<v Speaker 1>a fear of conflict. I find the idea of feeling

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<v Speaker 1>strapped for cash terrifying, especially being in debt, so I

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<v Speaker 1>have always prioritized building up a financial cushion more or

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<v Speaker 1>less so I can sleep at night. I don't think

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<v Speaker 1>that's a fear that I really need to conquer, since

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<v Speaker 1>for the average person the outcome is what financial experts recommend. Anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>In any case, as this episode is airing around Halloween

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<v Speaker 1>and when we're thinking of fears in general, it's good

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<v Speaker 1>to look at our own particular fears rationally. Sometimes they

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<v Speaker 1>can be conquered. Sometimes they can be lessened and then

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<v Speaker 1>lived with if that makes larger goals doable. Sometimes they

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<v Speaker 1>can just be acknowledged because they're not really hurting anything.

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<v Speaker 1>And sometimes our fears are rational and may be helpful.

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<v Speaker 1>It is good to understand the difference. In the meantime,

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<v Speaker 1>this is Laura, Thanks for listening, and here's to making

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<v Speaker 1>the most of our time. Thanks for listening to before breakfast.

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<v Speaker 1>If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach

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<v Speaker 1>me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeartMedia,

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<v Speaker 1>please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you

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<v Speaker 1>listen to your favorite shows.