1 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:09,520 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning. 2 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:16,760 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:22,480 Speaker 1: tip is to be smart about your fears. Sometimes fears 4 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:26,480 Speaker 1: can be conquered and sometimes they are there for a reason. 5 00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:33,200 Speaker 1: Wisdom is about knowing the difference. So I've been thinking 6 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:37,160 Speaker 1: about fears recently, one because this is airing around Halloween, 7 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:40,720 Speaker 1: and also because I've been reading Farnush to Rabi's new 8 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:43,919 Speaker 1: book A Healthy State of Panic, which is about how 9 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:47,600 Speaker 1: acknowledging your fears can be helpful for building your career 10 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:54,920 Speaker 1: and achieving success. Anyway, fears are a complicated topic. Some 11 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:59,360 Speaker 1: fears are deep seated and some are just about what 12 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:04,120 Speaker 1: is unfamili Once upon a time I got really nervous 13 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:08,280 Speaker 1: and scared of public speaking. Getting up in front of 14 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:10,679 Speaker 1: big numbers of people and needing to entertain them for 15 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:14,839 Speaker 1: an hour is not easy. But then eventually I learned 16 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:18,640 Speaker 1: that if you write nonfiction books, speaking about them is 17 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:21,520 Speaker 1: going to be part of your business. I did a 18 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:25,440 Speaker 1: lot of speaking, and speaking got easier. If you give 19 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:29,440 Speaker 1: a speech once, it's scary. If you give a speech 20 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:34,120 Speaker 1: one hundred times, it just feels like Tuesday. Soon enough, 21 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,720 Speaker 1: I was in the Tuesday camp and didn't feel frightened 22 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:40,039 Speaker 1: by this sort of thing anymore. I assume that this 23 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:42,160 Speaker 1: is what happens with people in any line of work 24 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:45,759 Speaker 1: that involves some common phobias. If you spend a lot 25 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:50,040 Speaker 1: of time in airplanes, as crew members do, whereas just 26 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:54,800 Speaker 1: general frequent flyers do, you stop viewing turbulence is terrifying. 27 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:58,920 Speaker 1: It's just like going over a speed bump on a road. 28 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:02,720 Speaker 1: If you wind up in a job washing windows or 29 00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:06,520 Speaker 1: fixing roller coasters or something like that, you will get 30 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:11,520 Speaker 1: over any lingering fear of heights. In any case, if 31 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:13,960 Speaker 1: you have some fear that is keeping you from doing 32 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,920 Speaker 1: something you want in life, then it's worth seeing what 33 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:20,000 Speaker 1: you can do to be more rational about it. You 34 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:23,440 Speaker 1: might be able to do some small, repeated exposures to 35 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:27,959 Speaker 1: lessen the fear. Lots of people are afraid of investing. 36 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:31,959 Speaker 1: You can lose money, but it's pretty hard to build 37 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:35,960 Speaker 1: wealth without some form of investments. So you can keep 38 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 1: enough in safe assets to feel well safe and start 39 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:46,320 Speaker 1: small and learn as you go over time. Small paper 40 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:50,160 Speaker 1: losses won't feel scary, especially as you see that they 41 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:53,920 Speaker 1: tend to be recovered over the long haul. If you 42 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:56,880 Speaker 1: are scared of public speaking but you know it would 43 00:02:56,919 --> 00:03:01,840 Speaker 1: advance your career, you can join toast masks, or practice 44 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:04,960 Speaker 1: in front of groups of friends, or give smaller talks 45 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:08,720 Speaker 1: to friendly audiences, like maybe leading a class at your 46 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:14,200 Speaker 1: house of worship. You might still feel some trepidation, but 47 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:18,000 Speaker 1: you can decide to feel the fear and do it anyway. 48 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:22,440 Speaker 1: I don't particularly enjoy flying, but I want to see 49 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:26,000 Speaker 1: the world, and it is hard to do that without 50 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:29,679 Speaker 1: taking to the skies. On the other hand, you don't 51 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:33,080 Speaker 1: have to conquer all your fears. Sometimes you can just 52 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:36,200 Speaker 1: accept that they are your quirks and you can build 53 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:41,880 Speaker 1: your life avoiding them. I really really do not like 54 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 1: open heights, so I don't go rock climbing. Some of 55 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:50,840 Speaker 1: my kids like it. I try not to watch. My 56 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:55,000 Speaker 1: little brother does rock climbing quite seriously, again, try not 57 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:59,120 Speaker 1: to watch. It is just not for me. It is 58 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:02,120 Speaker 1: likely that I will without ever having gone skydiving or 59 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:05,960 Speaker 1: bungee jumping or things like that. I am absolutely fine 60 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:12,160 Speaker 1: with that. If you fear snakes, just skip those zoo exhibits. 61 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:19,040 Speaker 1: It is fine. Sometimes fears might be smart. Some people 62 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:23,760 Speaker 1: give off warning signs of being mean or vindictive, and 63 00:04:23,839 --> 00:04:26,560 Speaker 1: it might be worth just putting some space between you 64 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:30,840 Speaker 1: and those people rather than going overboard trying to conquer 65 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:34,719 Speaker 1: a fear of conflict. I find the idea of feeling 66 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:40,919 Speaker 1: strapped for cash terrifying, especially being in debt, so I 67 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:44,800 Speaker 1: have always prioritized building up a financial cushion more or 68 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:48,080 Speaker 1: less so I can sleep at night. I don't think 69 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:51,080 Speaker 1: that's a fear that I really need to conquer, since 70 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:55,440 Speaker 1: for the average person the outcome is what financial experts recommend. Anyway, 71 00:04:57,120 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 1: In any case, as this episode is airing around Halloween 72 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:03,000 Speaker 1: and when we're thinking of fears in general, it's good 73 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:07,520 Speaker 1: to look at our own particular fears rationally. Sometimes they 74 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:10,960 Speaker 1: can be conquered. Sometimes they can be lessened and then 75 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:15,800 Speaker 1: lived with if that makes larger goals doable. Sometimes they 76 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:18,880 Speaker 1: can just be acknowledged because they're not really hurting anything. 77 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:23,000 Speaker 1: And sometimes our fears are rational and may be helpful. 78 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:29,080 Speaker 1: It is good to understand the difference. In the meantime, 79 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:34,280 Speaker 1: this is Laura, Thanks for listening, and here's to making 80 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:44,520 Speaker 1: the most of our time. Thanks for listening to before breakfast. 81 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:48,840 Speaker 1: If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach 82 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:58,560 Speaker 1: me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast 83 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:02,920 Speaker 1: is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, 84 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:07,000 Speaker 1: please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you 85 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:08,280 Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows.