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Speaker 1: Another week, another episode. Do you know how it goes? People?

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Speaker 2: Come on, It's me you boy, Eric Andre, and thanks

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Speaker 2: for tuning in to another illustrious episode of Bombing, the

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Speaker 2: podcast where I talk with friends, comedians, musicians, and other

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Speaker 2: creative people about their worst moments on stage, absolutely tanking

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Speaker 2: in front of a live audience. Our guest is another

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Speaker 2: good friend, the phenomenal hilarious Sarah Sherman aka Sarah Squirm.

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Speaker 2: She's on TV and you can find her touring her

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Speaker 2: show live and in the flesh. We got to be

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Speaker 2: in person and hang out as always. Please subscribe to

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Speaker 2: the podcast to.

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Speaker 1: Get new episodes every week rate of five stars and

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Speaker 1: on Apple podcast subscriber Big Money Players Diamond to get

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Speaker 1: an exclusive clip from my chat with Squirm, plus add

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Speaker 1: free episodes weekly.

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Speaker 3: Let's get into it Bombing with Eric Andre. Okay, so

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Speaker 3: tell us your.

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Speaker 4: Have a list?

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Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, tell us your bobbing. Sorry, let's the worst

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Speaker 1: you ever bobbed on stage?

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Speaker 4: Recently?

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Speaker 1: Oh no, yes, no, I was doing a.

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Speaker 4: Show at University of Connecticut.

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Speaker 1: Shout out, were you headlining or opening?

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Speaker 4: It was me and James Austin Johnson for US and

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Speaker 4: l CO headlining okay, because listen, I'm just like you

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Speaker 4: common people. I co headline to Okay, it doesn't have

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Speaker 4: to help me. The stars and we were both supposed

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Speaker 4: to do I think like forty five minutes. And it

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Speaker 4: was parents weekend at Yukon, so I was like, also

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Speaker 4: the parents like bringing the younger siblings. Oh, they were

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Speaker 4: like ten year old, eleven year old mommy daddy?

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Speaker 1: Why why are you think? What do they want?

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Speaker 4: Here's the thing, the job of the comedian, truly, I

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Speaker 4: believe this. If you're getting paid to do a show,

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Speaker 4: just get her done. Just just if I'm getting paid

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Speaker 4: to do a show. It's like I'm a mechanic, get

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Speaker 4: got to fix the car. Okay, So if you're gonna

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Speaker 4: I know I'm weak.

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Speaker 1: But if you're a jazz musician and they want death amount,

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Speaker 1: then don't.

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Speaker 4: But it's like, if you're a jazz musician and you're

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Speaker 4: hired to do Parents begin at Yukon, just do parent

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Speaker 4: Just do that. And for some reason, I literally like, okay,

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Speaker 4: forty five minutes to the host. Jake Nordwin, really funny

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Speaker 4: writer at SNL, was hosting the show and he told

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Speaker 4: a story where he was doing a stand up show

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Speaker 4: at Cornell, and he in the story he's bombing so

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Speaker 4: hard at Cornell that somebody in the audience stands up

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Speaker 4: and says, we don't like this. So he tells that

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Speaker 4: story and then he brings me up. And then I'm

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Speaker 4: literally pin drop crickets, silent bomb, shelter, blown out, nuclear

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Speaker 4: disaster zone, silence, bombing, bombing, bombing, like literally Heroshima bombing

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Speaker 4: forty five minutes. I'm twenty five minutes into complete and

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Speaker 4: total death, deathly hollows, silence, and a kid in the bag,

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Speaker 4: and goes.

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Speaker 1: We don't like that, No, so his story set up

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Speaker 1: the kid in the the kid got to like slam

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Speaker 1: dunk a call back from the previous thing. He job.

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Speaker 4: I'm like literally standing ovation lap. I still have like

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Speaker 4: twenty minutes to go, and I didn't even have a

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Speaker 4: good comeback, like in the moment you always wish you

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Speaker 4: could have a good comeback, like I think I just.

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Speaker 1: Went like oh like O.

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Speaker 4: I went, but I went like I just didn't have it.

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Speaker 4: It was such a like like shot in the face

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Speaker 4: like AK forty seven. Then I didn't I didn't have anything.

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Speaker 1: And then I all alone too. No one's on your

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Speaker 1: side at that point.

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Speaker 4: That's the amazing thing about us. And hell, dude, like

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Speaker 4: I coming from stand up, I've always been alone. And

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Speaker 4: then all of a sudden, it's like, wait a minute,

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Speaker 4: now I have a job wearing with other people because

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Speaker 4: you can bomb on us now in a sketch. But

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Speaker 4: guess what you get like five and the people with

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Speaker 4: you on stage?

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, you can spread them, could

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Speaker 1: spread the blame or like also the U didn't write

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Speaker 1: the sketch too, but your stand up you wrote.

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Speaker 4: So I've written sketches that have bombed, and then I've

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Speaker 4: written sketches that have bombed, and then it takes everyone

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Speaker 4: down with me. But at least I don't have to

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Speaker 4: go down alone.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: But you look to your life, look to your right,

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Speaker 4: and you go like, eh, sorry.

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Speaker 1: Do you really have old school cute cards like from

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Speaker 1: back in the day? Not a teleprompter written because the

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Speaker 1: show is it was it's a steampunk show.

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Speaker 4: It's a steampunk show.

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Speaker 1: They used technology from like fifty years ago.

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Speaker 4: Commits to the pavement it's literally.

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Speaker 1: What what does that mean? Hooves to the pavement.

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Speaker 4: We're going, Who's to the pavement? Locomotive style?

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Speaker 1: Hooves to the pavement is crazy.

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Speaker 4: Boots to the cobblestone steampunk.

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Speaker 1: Okay, that's how we're going We're going wrong old school.

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Speaker 1: There's somebody that writes the.

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Speaker 4: Because everything changes last minute, Like you could be changing

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Speaker 4: in Joe.

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Speaker 1: Changing were they changing last minute for who? Once that

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Speaker 1: changed that last minute?

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Speaker 4: Well, it could literally be like we literally because it's

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Speaker 4: like live television, it could be like, oh, we literally

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Speaker 4: have to end the show in five minutes, which means

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Speaker 4: that you have to take thirty seconds out of your sketch.

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Speaker 4: So you're there doing like like Jigsaw puzzle, figuring out,

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Speaker 4: cutting shit out, how to like condense sketches because you're

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Speaker 4: like have to some some There was a really popular

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Speaker 4: sketch this season called Lisa from Temecula that, like Chay

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Speaker 4: wrote on that like blew up when exploded, went totally

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Speaker 4: viral and it's really funny. And they were live editing

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Speaker 4: that sketch while it was happening. No, yes, so like

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Speaker 4: were changing. Yes?

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Speaker 1: Why make it so stressful? Who? What is the point

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Speaker 1: of that stretch? Who is that for?

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Speaker 4: It's like me terror?

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Speaker 1: Why it doesn't need to be live either, just pre

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Speaker 1: film it? Why selling something like as live It's like

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Speaker 1: that's Stephen Funk too, Like it's live, baby, Like, so

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Speaker 1: sports need to be live nothing else.

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Speaker 4: People do watch us, and I like at sports, like

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Speaker 4: they'll be like Sarah Sherman's having a flop of a season.

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Speaker 4: I've been looking at her stats. She's in four schedule,

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Speaker 4: you know.

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Speaker 1: But that's not healthy. But there's no point to that stress.

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Speaker 1: Just filming, filming the day before filming Friday, guess, and

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Speaker 1: then you have your Saturday off.

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Speaker 5: Look what's happening, Look, what's happening. What's happening? Look like

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Speaker 5: I'm Eric Andre I'm gonna tict it to my phone.

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Speaker 5: I'm adicted to Instagram. I'm gonna take it to TikTok.

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Speaker 5: I go guess what. How about I take you back

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Speaker 5: to the good old days of real live razzle, dazzle lights.

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Speaker 4: Can't action show business, Honey, this is showbiz. This isn't TikTok.

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Speaker 4: Watch me make a sandwich in my dirty kitchen. This

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Speaker 4: is Hollywood.

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Speaker 1: You wouldn't have to be rewriting the thing thirty seconds

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Speaker 1: into the thing. You can film Friday, then Saturday you

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Speaker 1: have your whole week en off. You can go for

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Speaker 1: a little walk.

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Speaker 4: Sleep and think a lot of it's good. It's because

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Speaker 4: it's like, guess what when you're it's live, I have

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Speaker 4: to rewrite everything. Guess what. Guess what you're not doing

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Speaker 4: thinking about how miserable your stupid little life.

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Speaker 1: That's okay. So you like the pressure of it. You

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Speaker 1: like woholism.

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Speaker 4: There was I had. So I get really nervous and

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Speaker 4: sometimes I like literally have to project out puke like

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Speaker 4: seconds before going on.

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Speaker 1: Really, yes, I was like that. I think I would

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Speaker 1: be addicted to like Xanax and Booze if I worked

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Speaker 1: on that show, because it seems like unbelievable.

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Speaker 4: Famously that happens most people are, well, it's not really,

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Speaker 4: and actually it's not. The vibes at SNL right now

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Speaker 4: are not drugs, which is interesting. If coffee is a drug,

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Speaker 4: me a drug famously, But I what I am addicted to.

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Speaker 4: The drug that I am addicted to from SNL is

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Speaker 4: zofran Caroin. It's like it like literally magically stops you

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Speaker 4: from puking because I get nervous and.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, have you really vomited fully before? You're not

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Speaker 1: hyper well because you seem very brave. You don't seem

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Speaker 1: ever nervous when I see you perform.

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Speaker 4: What are you talking about?

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Speaker 1: I've never seen you get nervous before performance.

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Speaker 4: You actually are the person who called me out for

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Speaker 4: my cope with nerves. On stages, I will have like

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Speaker 4: laughter dysmorphia, and like literally people will be hooting and

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Speaker 4: hollering and I won't hear it body, And so then

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Speaker 4: I'll start doing the thing on stage rum like why

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Speaker 4: aren't you guys laughing at thiszy fucking idiots? And then

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Speaker 4: you literally, after what I was opening for you on tour,

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Speaker 4: you were like, dude, stop saying you're bombing when you're

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Speaker 4: not bombing.

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Speaker 1: You're like, people do that.

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Speaker 4: You're like, why are you giving people?

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Speaker 1: Don't? Yeah, because then it sex people out, sexy people

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Speaker 1: out that are laughing. They're like, is she bombing? I

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Speaker 1: was enjoying the ride, but now she's saying she's bombing

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Speaker 1: it just like unnecessarily hypnotizes them and wrong direction, I think.

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Speaker 4: And I liked what you said. I can't remember exactly

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Speaker 4: what you said because I don't care. You said something interesting.

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Speaker 4: You were like, don't for one second let people think

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Speaker 4: that you're not confident. Why would you do that? You're confident?

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Speaker 4: You believe in yourself. Why are you even giving them?

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Speaker 6: Like?

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Speaker 4: It was like amazing. And then the whole rest of

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Speaker 4: the tour, I was being good.

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Speaker 1: Shit, I was talking. I was just talking.

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Speaker 4: You're talking, you were on stage, or your dick tuck

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Speaker 4: between your legs. But this drug that stops you from puking.

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Speaker 4: So I had to puke really badly. And I was

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Speaker 4: doing a sketch with Pedro Pascal where like everyone, who

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Speaker 4: was he.

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Speaker 1: So famous all of a sudden because I thought he

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Speaker 1: was amazing in Narcos. Oh he's got a new.

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Speaker 4: Show, I guess, Oh, the Mushroom Show.

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Speaker 1: But the show is anti mushroom.

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Speaker 4: Somebody told me, oh, because the evil guys are mushrooms.

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Speaker 1: I haven't watched it, to be honest, okay, but very attractive.

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Speaker 4: He's very hot, and I think everybody's like, I think

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Speaker 4: he's popping off right now because everyone's like, wait a minute,

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Speaker 4: he's been slaying this whole time, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: People are catching up right.

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Speaker 4: As opposed to people. You know, everyone always knows that

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Speaker 4: Eric Andre slays everybody. That's true, everybody and no one's

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Speaker 4: everybody's always saying Eric slays. Eric slayze is.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if that's true, but I'll take it.

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Speaker 1: I will take it. Now, tell me more about bombing.

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Speaker 4: Well, in the whole I'm telling you this, So in

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Speaker 4: the sketch that I have to do with Pedro Pascal, yeah,

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Speaker 4: the whole time, people are saying crazy stuff to me,

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Speaker 4: and the whole sketch, all I do is go like hey,

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Speaker 4: and I'm like reacting with my mouth open like this,

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Speaker 4: like yeah or whatever. And then right before the sketch,

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Speaker 4: I really had to peek my brains out, but I couldn't,

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Speaker 4: so I took a zofran but it wasn't like the chewable,

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Speaker 4: fast acting kind. So I was like, fuck, I have

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Speaker 4: to make this happen now, oh God, And so I

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Speaker 4: chewed up this like supposed to be. It was so disgusting.

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Speaker 4: It was like, you know, you're supposed to swallow or whatever,

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Speaker 4: and it turned my tongue pure white, and the whole

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Speaker 4: sketch I'm supposed to be with my mouth open like

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Speaker 4: so I was like, well, I have to dye my

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Speaker 4: tongue so that I ate a bunch of candy. But

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Speaker 4: I had a puke. So I'm like downing gummy bears

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Speaker 4: like right, before you go on stage. And if you

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Speaker 4: watch the sketch, my mouth is open the whole time,

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Speaker 4: like and my tongue is like bright orange. Some like

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Speaker 4: a bright orange song. These are this is. I actually

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Speaker 4: told this story to Hamilton Morris the other night and

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Speaker 4: he laughed that was my.

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Speaker 1: Bomb inside I need to laugh.

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Speaker 4: So does that counts a social bomb?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I mean I have so many bombing This

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Speaker 4: wasn't bombing kind of but I was opening for Sandler

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Speaker 4: at those like Giants.

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Speaker 1: I can't imagine.

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Speaker 4: Have you done a fifteen thousand person arena?

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Speaker 1: No I don't. I'm trying to think, well, I have

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Speaker 1: done fat like I did Coachella and some and like

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Speaker 1: Beach Goth Festival and I did like.

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Speaker 4: But those are outside right.

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Speaker 1: Yeah so far. I did like Eric Andre Show live,

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Speaker 1: but I've never done like at Coachella. I just played

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Speaker 1: the thereman with a dildo for Mac DeMarco for a

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Speaker 1: not stand up Beach God. I started trying to do

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Speaker 1: stand up and like the crowd was like, I'm fifty

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Speaker 1: five different drugs. So I just started like I don't

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Speaker 1: remember what, just crowd work and just screaming, and then

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Speaker 1: I just got out of there, and then the other

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Speaker 1: one was Eric. I never like had to do like

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Speaker 1: half an hour or whatever for like that many. That

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Speaker 1: sounds that sounds insane. It doesn't sound like, it doesn't

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Speaker 1: sound possible, like it's like comedy, like it's impossible.

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Speaker 4: It's it's the out outdoors that just reminded me of

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Speaker 4: another fucking bombing storry. Jesus Christ, how many I have,

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Speaker 4: like hundreds of bombs.

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Speaker 1: It's everybody does.

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Speaker 4: The outside one is just like comedy outside you're little,

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Speaker 4: You're dealing with Oh I'm getting heckled by the sun. Awesome, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: the God's greatest power, the sun.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I opened for do you know that band Black MIDI.

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Speaker 4: They're awesome, They're They're literally I begged to open for them.

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Speaker 4: They're like my favorite band. It was Central Park summer

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Speaker 4: stage last year, ninety five degrees out, pure, pure, blinding

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Speaker 4: son and they have a very young like fan base,

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Speaker 4: and it was like all ages and I'm like showing

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Speaker 4: my poopy butthole videos and I'm like, oh, these sixteen

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Speaker 4: year olds will need to see these poopy buttholes. And

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Speaker 4: I'm like feeling that a bomb. It was a bomb,

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Speaker 4: and then apparent and then my friend sent me a

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Speaker 4: Reddit thread. They said, yo, check this out lol, and

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Speaker 4: sent me a Reddit thread that was like a video

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Speaker 4: of my set at Summer Stage again ninety five degree

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Speaker 4: he pure blazing sun. So I'm being like, Sarah, squirm,

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Speaker 4: kill yourself, you.

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Speaker 1: Sung, Why would your friends send that to you?

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Speaker 4: Like literally send it to me, like l O L.

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Speaker 4: People always be doing right.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I think people think it's like, oh, yeah, you're

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Speaker 1: gonna be great.

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Speaker 4: But you have where people are are like you, you're crazy.

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Speaker 4: You're gonna like this crazy thing someone said about you.

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Speaker 4: And then some you know, someone sends me a YouTube

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Speaker 4: comment that's like serious, squirm, I'm gonna come in your

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Speaker 4: mouth till you explode or something. It's like, I don't

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Speaker 4: want to.

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Speaker 1: See that to you. That's fun.

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Speaker 4: But the outside is one thing. It's like, forget about it.

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Speaker 4: But like the inside stadium shows are like because so

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Speaker 4: much of my stand up is just like I'm screaming

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Speaker 4: in repetition, like and it's like absurdist noises, so it's

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Speaker 4: like it echoes like off the dome. So I get

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Speaker 4: And then I was getting all confused because I would

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Speaker 4: just hear myself back at me and i'd be like,

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Speaker 4: oh no, I want to. But it's really it is

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Speaker 4: fun because you're like, oh my god, this is like

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Speaker 4: a once in a lifetime opportunity. I can imagine it's fun.

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Speaker 1: I don't think I've done a show like a fifth

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Speaker 1: of that big that's like for like the super Bowl, right.

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Speaker 4: Yes, well, so, so I opened for Sandler in Kansas

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Speaker 4: City the day before the super Bowl. But I guess

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Speaker 4: the Kansas City team, Oh.

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Speaker 1: God, Kansas City bugles.

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Speaker 4: The bugles were not the super Bowl wasn't in Kansas City,

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Speaker 4: somewhere else, but like everybody showed up to Sandler show,

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Speaker 4: like in the.

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Speaker 1: Bugle and the Chiefs in the gear, in the Chiefs gear.

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Speaker 4: And so I was like, oh, it's super Bowl weekend.

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Speaker 4: I'll do like my big super Bowl joke or whatever

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Speaker 4: that was. I literally think I said, like, the super

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Speaker 4: Bowl is this weekend, honey. The only super Bowl I

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Speaker 4: care about is like the giant toilet Bowl. I'm gonna

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Speaker 4: need to accomminate all the liquid shit I have spewing

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Speaker 4: out of my tiny little Jewish asshole from all the

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Speaker 4: fucking Kansas City barbecue, like a full joke or like

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Speaker 4: the super Bowl, I need a super Bowl that's super

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Speaker 4: big enough. Well, my, the diarrhea coming out of as

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Speaker 4: or whatever.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and so so irony is not for the like

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Speaker 1: ironic like a joke that's this is what I have

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Speaker 1: to learn over twenty years hard way. The joke that's

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Speaker 1: funny because it's ironically bad is not for the masses.

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Speaker 4: And I kind of lost track with that too.

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Speaker 1: Probably funny me too, like literally like that's for the

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Speaker 1: for the because there's no like there's the irony doesn't translate,

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Speaker 1: especially when.

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Speaker 4: It's when you're in a room that big. It's just

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Speaker 4: set up punchline, get in, get out. Yeah, you just

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Speaker 4: it's so massive that the sound has to be simple.

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Speaker 4: The ideas shouldn't be that complicated. The rhythm has to

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Speaker 4: be smooth. And it's like, I'm just I was just

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Speaker 4: beefing it. And so I said the super Bowl joke,

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Speaker 4: and then the entire higher fifteen thousand people start going

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Speaker 4: like I thought it was booing because it sounded like boo,

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Speaker 4: but it's so I was like, I'm like Bobby for

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Speaker 4: fucking Adams, like the goat or whatever, but it's their

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Speaker 4: Their chant is cheeve. So I said, I was like

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Speaker 4: sober I'll got my big Jewish as Harry ass diarrhea,

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Speaker 4: and then I just hear boo and I'm likely they

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Speaker 4: were saying, jeez, that is confusing.

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Speaker 1: It's a strange thing.

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Speaker 4: But he like, literally whatever, it's gonna sound like I'm

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Speaker 4: kissing kissing his ants over here. But it's like he

347
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Speaker 4: tears in the giant stadiums. He rips it out and

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Speaker 4: he's a rock star. Yeah, he's got the guitar music.

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Speaker 4: He puts on like a show and it's really fun.

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Speaker 4: You're like, it's awesome to be in a room that big,

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Speaker 4: and you're like, oh my god, all these people love

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Speaker 4: Billy Madison.

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Speaker 1: That's not gonna azic, it's fucking amazing. It's amazing. What

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00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:06,320
Speaker 1: did he ever do a Billy Madison too? Why did

355
00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:08,920
Speaker 1: he never do two's? He never does sequels.

356
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Speaker 4: Because he's like got new ideas everything.

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Speaker 1: Why is it always like a one er?

358
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Speaker 4: Are you? Are you a sequel?

359
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:14,400
Speaker 1: Am I a sequel?

360
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Speaker 4: Are you missed a sequel?

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Speaker 1: I don't have that guy's career. I'm making three hundred

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Speaker 1: bucks a week over an adult swim factory.

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Speaker 4: Well, I think like he just like has like one

364
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Speaker 4: hundred new ideas a day, Like even when I was.

365
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:33,520
Speaker 1: Madison's So Good, Billy Madison, Happy Go More my two

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Speaker 1: favorite ones.

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Speaker 4: When I was opening for him, I did like two

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Speaker 4: nights in a row. And his show he does, He'll

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Speaker 4: do two hours fully and there will be they will

370
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Speaker 4: be different hours. It's crazy. He has new ships.

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Speaker 1: Con took me seventeen years to write forty five minutes for.

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Speaker 4: I have a good ten minutes. I've been doing sand

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Speaker 4: for ten years. I have ten minutes solid. I know.

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Speaker 4: That's why it's like I wish.

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Speaker 1: I think when you're like rich, like because what do

376
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Speaker 1: you gotta worry about? But I'm like, you have special

377
00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:05,600
Speaker 1: doctors playing like blood special bloods inside you and stuff

378
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,639
Speaker 1: like that. Oh so you can just like go, so

379
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:09,960
Speaker 1: you could just do like four new hours a day.

380
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Speaker 4: I'm not talking about Adam Sandler with this one, but

381
00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:14,800
Speaker 4: there are people who've gotten a little too rich and

382
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:16,360
Speaker 4: their comedy has gotten.

383
00:19:16,119 --> 00:19:19,359
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, not good, very well.

384
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:22,600
Speaker 4: The jokes have evaporated into thin air. Yes, they've gotten

385
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:24,080
Speaker 4: a little too comfortable.

386
00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:30,960
Speaker 1: I've seen some very famous people's specials, like recent specials.

387
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:36,000
Speaker 1: A couple there was no jokes. It was like what

388
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,880
Speaker 1: what am I? What is this.

389
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:43,160
Speaker 4: It's like I'm the queen of not having jokes, so

390
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:46,800
Speaker 4: like I'm one to talk. But it's like we got

391
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:47,480
Speaker 4: it's good.

392
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:48,640
Speaker 5: We gotta be.

393
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:51,760
Speaker 1: Having a job well. And it's like did they tour

394
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:55,200
Speaker 1: this material and it was doing well? Like how did

395
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:57,320
Speaker 1: they get to this material? The materials?

396
00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:01,439
Speaker 4: Well? What they're just so famous that people go googoo gaga,

397
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:02,600
Speaker 4: But it doesn't matter.

398
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:19,080
Speaker 6: With Aricodre. With Aricdre, all right, tell me more about bombing.

399
00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:23,000
Speaker 4: You're like you burnt through all your bombing stories already here.

400
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,960
Speaker 1: No, No, that's great. I'm glad that you can't.

401
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:29,320
Speaker 4: Prepared well because I'm like, obviously bombing is so painful,

402
00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:32,000
Speaker 4: but I've done it literally every single day in my life.

403
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:34,919
Speaker 4: So I'm like, but I've never actually sat your you

404
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,560
Speaker 4: having to come on this podcast, I like actually had

405
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:42,440
Speaker 4: to like literally develop consciousness around all my bombs and failures,

406
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,119
Speaker 4: which is interesting. Like I was like, oh, yeah, this

407
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:47,560
Speaker 4: is a good exercise to like sit down and actually

408
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:52,280
Speaker 4: meditate on all my fucking catastrophic Like I've bombed so

409
00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:55,480
Speaker 4: hard that you hear the like like after a bomb

410
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:58,040
Speaker 4: in a movie, when you just hear the like like

411
00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:02,280
Speaker 4: like like your and everything's in slow motion.

412
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:06,960
Speaker 1: Oh.

413
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,920
Speaker 4: One time I was like I was in well because

414
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:09,520
Speaker 4: I came up in.

415
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Speaker 1: The Midwest, Chicago.

416
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,919
Speaker 4: Baby angels, what's wasted?

417
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:14,840
Speaker 1: You have been on stage?

418
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:15,240
Speaker 7: Oh?

419
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:17,959
Speaker 1: I like trash all let on stage.

420
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:22,440
Speaker 4: I like took. I can't do weed, yeah, ego deash

421
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:23,200
Speaker 4: it makes me freak.

422
00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:24,000
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.

423
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:26,480
Speaker 4: I had like the worst of all the drugs. Literally,

424
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:28,040
Speaker 4: it's it's the most powerful drug known to man.

425
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:32,040
Speaker 1: It's the most it's the worst. It's a guaranteed bad trip.

426
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:33,000
Speaker 1: Every single time.

427
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:40,640
Speaker 4: I write that down, Hamilton, I had two weed mints.

428
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:46,440
Speaker 1: Next mints mints could be powerful. You don't have any.

429
00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:51,080
Speaker 4: Blacked out for three days and that like full like googling,

430
00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:53,639
Speaker 4: am I having a heart attack for three days? And

431
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:58,520
Speaker 4: so I'm like lock out where I was in a

432
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:01,320
Speaker 4: literally could to sleep for three days, to the point

433
00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:03,520
Speaker 4: where I made I didn't have a car. I made

434
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:05,800
Speaker 4: my friends take me to Griffith Park at like midnight,

435
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:07,120
Speaker 4: in the middle of the night so I could run

436
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,639
Speaker 4: around in circles to tucker myself out because I was

437
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:14,320
Speaker 4: like so jacked up. I was like wired. So it's like, okay,

438
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:17,280
Speaker 4: just take me to Griffth Park. Well, it was also

439
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:19,560
Speaker 4: just save me to the Griffith Park. I'm gonna run

440
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:21,280
Speaker 4: around circles until I get tuckered down and then I'll

441
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:24,720
Speaker 4: finally be tired after days. And then I was running

442
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:27,919
Speaker 4: around and I heard the coyotes or whatever that's what

443
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:30,560
Speaker 4: they are, right yeah, And I like, they're not gonna.

444
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:33,320
Speaker 1: They're in park right.

445
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,879
Speaker 4: There, literally, and so I hear them like cackling or whatever,

446
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:40,400
Speaker 4: and I get so wigged out that it's like great

447
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:44,320
Speaker 4: now I was up for three more days. So then

448
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:46,800
Speaker 4: I was like, Okay, how do.

449
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:48,959
Speaker 1: I do a show? Like?

450
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:51,960
Speaker 4: How do I come down from this? I'll take xanax,

451
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:56,400
Speaker 4: no problem. But then the xanax weirdly kind of makes

452
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,960
Speaker 4: me freaked. It like cracks me out in a weird

453
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:03,080
Speaker 4: way where it makes me anxious. Yeah, And so I

454
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:03,560
Speaker 4: was like.

455
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:05,240
Speaker 1: I don't believe you.

456
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:09,240
Speaker 4: It makes me, I think, because I'm like, I'm like zonked,

457
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:13,399
Speaker 4: And then I'm like, what's happened? Why is it? But

458
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:15,479
Speaker 4: it makes then I get like I'm still and then

459
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,520
Speaker 4: I'm anxious about how it's making me turn into like

460
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:22,719
Speaker 4: a dufis kind of and so then I'm on like

461
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:27,240
Speaker 4: stand up is so physical? You're like you're reacting in

462
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:30,000
Speaker 4: the moment to how an audience has reacted to you,

463
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:33,480
Speaker 4: so your reflexes have to be on. And I'm literally like.

464
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:38,160
Speaker 1: You were on a weed min no sleep, and then

465
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,720
Speaker 1: you took a xanax. Then you went on and I

466
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:43,879
Speaker 1: was like, a show in that stand, why don't you

467
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:48,800
Speaker 1: just can't because I'm addicted? What show this?

468
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:50,959
Speaker 4: It was like at the satellite or whatever. And I

469
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:54,200
Speaker 4: was like like not and like someone was like, there's

470
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:59,359
Speaker 4: like a Netflix exect here, and I was like, and

471
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:01,159
Speaker 4: I think and and I did this bit like a

472
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:04,760
Speaker 4: guided meditation bit thing. But because I was like so

473
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:09,240
Speaker 4: like fried, I was like getting into my own meditation.

474
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:11,399
Speaker 4: I was kind of like losing the plot. Like I

475
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:15,879
Speaker 4: was kind of like didn't do well. No, of course,

476
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:18,679
Speaker 4: not like sweating. I saw pictures of me. There's like

477
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:22,840
Speaker 4: a line are dripping down my face. I can't perform.

478
00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:25,840
Speaker 4: I don't get freaked up anymore, but I can't perform

479
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:26,440
Speaker 4: freaked up?

480
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:27,720
Speaker 1: What is freaked up?

481
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:31,800
Speaker 4: Man? Cracked out, suited, whacked.

482
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:34,760
Speaker 1: You're like a nark from the.

483
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:37,840
Speaker 4: I am weed is bad.

484
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:41,000
Speaker 1: It's the worst joke. It's the worst joke I've ever done.

485
00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:41,800
Speaker 4: Lock her up.

486
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:48,040
Speaker 1: We Lady Jane. All right, so you you came. You

487
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:49,200
Speaker 1: started in the Midwest.

488
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:53,359
Speaker 4: So I've had like you know, like me, I like

489
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:56,080
Speaker 4: me getting on stage and being like I did a

490
00:24:56,119 --> 00:25:01,800
Speaker 4: show in Ohio once, like in this island and that's

491
00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:04,280
Speaker 4: like like literally in the middle of Lake Erie that

492
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:07,400
Speaker 4: you have to take a ferry together. It's cool, it's

493
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:09,960
Speaker 4: like it's a party island. It's awful, like parrot heads.

494
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:15,240
Speaker 4: But he's like a sunburnt like Hawaiian shirt. And I

495
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:18,439
Speaker 4: was like, I'm Jewish and someone went Schwitz and I

496
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:24,320
Speaker 4: was like, I was literally like again I didn't have

497
00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:25,280
Speaker 4: a good comeback.

498
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:32,360
Speaker 1: Bro's crazy for somebody.

499
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:33,919
Speaker 4: I'm Jewish Schwitz and I think I was like, yeah,

500
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:39,320
Speaker 4: very good. That's like a lot of my bombs just

501
00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:42,920
Speaker 4: like like not handling like I wish I had like

502
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:45,479
Speaker 4: a like like that's all those clips that go viral

503
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:48,480
Speaker 4: online right now. It's like epic stand up comedian like

504
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:55,639
Speaker 4: totally destroyed one heckler dot dot speechless. He did a

505
00:25:55,800 --> 00:26:01,439
Speaker 4: total fatality do this dot dot dot Heckler that just

506
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:04,720
Speaker 4: reminded me of another bomb. One time, my first paid

507
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:07,320
Speaker 4: stand up gig, I had a joke that was like

508
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:11,080
Speaker 4: it was like about pubes or something, and there was

509
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:15,040
Speaker 4: like a rhetorical question set up that was like why

510
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 4: do you want women to be hairless? Like so you

511
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:19,840
Speaker 4: could oil them up and send send them down a

512
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:22,880
Speaker 4: toboggan shoot or something like that was a joke, not funny,

513
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:25,560
Speaker 4: It's okay, it's okay, it was it was really it

514
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:27,000
Speaker 4: was like why do you want a hairless woman? So

515
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 4: you could oil him up and send them down a

516
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:31,200
Speaker 4: toboggan shoot or something like that. But the rhetorical question

517
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:34,040
Speaker 4: is like why do you want a hairless woman? Or something?

518
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:36,399
Speaker 4: And like an old Irish guy who was like at

519
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:38,879
Speaker 4: an Irish pub literally six people in the audience or

520
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,719
Speaker 4: something like that. He was like, I was like, why

521
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:43,320
Speaker 4: do you want a hairless woman? He goes cause it

522
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 4: feels good again? No comeback, no comeback. I was like, awesome,

523
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:53,520
Speaker 4: What am I supposed to say? Like, I'm like, all

524
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:55,959
Speaker 4: I have is like, okay, you're a pedophile.

525
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:57,560
Speaker 1: Like I don't know what it's you should have just

526
00:26:57,560 --> 00:26:58,560
Speaker 1: like vibed out with them.

527
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:17,040
Speaker 8: Report with Aridre. With Aridre, what's the worst bob You've

528
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:19,719
Speaker 8: ever seen? That you were at a part that you

529
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:21,240
Speaker 8: just saw somebody going through.

530
00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:22,960
Speaker 4: Some ship like I don't want to name. I'm like

531
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:23,440
Speaker 4: trying to like.

532
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:25,240
Speaker 1: You can you can you can protect the innocent, you

533
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:27,879
Speaker 1: say you can call them mister and missus A or

534
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:28,800
Speaker 1: B or something.

535
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:34,520
Speaker 4: Well, I hosted an open mic in Chicago. Three years

536
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:37,879
Speaker 4: I hosted Cole's open mic. Shout out. My first comedy

537
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:42,679
Speaker 4: job ever Coleman Bryce. Yes, he the legend paid me.

538
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,120
Speaker 4: That was my first comedy job was hosting an open

539
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:49,960
Speaker 4: mic at Cole's Bar and awesome. Me and Rebecca O'Neil

540
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:51,879
Speaker 4: hosted it. And we would put up like fifty comics

541
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:53,600
Speaker 4: a night. So it's like, honey, what I have want

542
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:54,040
Speaker 4: I've seen?

543
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:56,399
Speaker 1: Do you remember a specific Uh, well.

544
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:58,240
Speaker 4: There was a guy tweaked out on drugs who wouldn't

545
00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:00,440
Speaker 4: get off the stage, and he was screaming that's cool,

546
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:04,480
Speaker 4: and so we had to like physically we had a physic.

547
00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:06,119
Speaker 4: We had to literally I had to like call the

548
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:09,280
Speaker 4: bar guys like physically remove them. So I was like, bro,

549
00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:10,920
Speaker 4: we got to get through fifty comics and you're on

550
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:12,600
Speaker 4: stage for longer than four minutes and I'm gonna have

551
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:16,920
Speaker 4: to physically move you from the stage. And he was

552
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 4: like to weeaking and then like one time, oh, there

553
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 4: was this guy there's because we would get weirdos. There

554
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:29,480
Speaker 4: was an open mic, and I like, all my ship like,

555
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:31,560
Speaker 4: I'm just like such, you know, I'm not good at

556
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:33,360
Speaker 4: I'm not good at stand all. My jokes are about

557
00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:37,239
Speaker 4: being Jewish whatever. So this one you're supposed to say,

558
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:45,120
Speaker 4: you're amazing tucker herself up. But I had like a

559
00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:47,080
Speaker 4: lot of jokes about being Jewish. And this guy gets

560
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:49,320
Speaker 4: up and he was like, he was like, I don't

561
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:52,320
Speaker 4: mind the Jewish. I'd suck and and all that longe

562
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:54,560
Speaker 4: like I'd do something, you know, he was like, And

563
00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:57,400
Speaker 4: I was like, you don't mind that I'm Jewish. You'd

564
00:28:57,400 --> 00:28:59,239
Speaker 4: suck on it all my or something like that. And

565
00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 4: he was like, I'd let you do what I read.

566
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:06,120
Speaker 4: I'd go freak mode on it. He said, sougn crazy.

567
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:14,840
Speaker 1: And everyone was like, you're Jewish, already off to the races, already,

568
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:17,160
Speaker 1: shaky star. I suck it all that.

569
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:24,920
Speaker 4: I can't remember what what he said, something really good,

570
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:26,840
Speaker 4: but he went in like graphic detail about what it

571
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:27,920
Speaker 4: would be like to have sex.

572
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:30,800
Speaker 1: With me and stand up. That was bit.

573
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:33,400
Speaker 4: That was his bit, and well he was he was

574
00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:35,680
Speaker 4: a little bit of a one of the town characters.

575
00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:41,680
Speaker 4: So honestly, it didn't really bomb that bad, but he

576
00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:45,160
Speaker 4: was like in graphic Also, I can't remember if this

577
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:48,640
Speaker 4: is a characters. He's one of the town characters. And

578
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:50,480
Speaker 4: he was. I don't want to say one of his

579
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:53,360
Speaker 4: jokes on the podcast because it's like he on the pod,

580
00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 4: because because it's like I want him to have credit

581
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:58,080
Speaker 4: for this joke, and I don't want to just like

582
00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:00,560
Speaker 4: say a joke out of turn that I.

583
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:02,440
Speaker 1: Don't it doesn't matter, just say it is a guy

584
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:05,120
Speaker 1: still doing stand up. I don't think he is well.

585
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 4: He he used to he I guess was.

586
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:10,760
Speaker 1: In that man's name Tom Sigur.

587
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:19,560
Speaker 4: Like in my memory, he had a joke that was

588
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:22,240
Speaker 4: like a riff on like what is it? What is it?

589
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:25,440
Speaker 4: Puff puff pass? But he was like in prison and

590
00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:28,640
Speaker 4: he didn't have any teeth, and so he talked about

591
00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:31,720
Speaker 4: being in prison and doing a slurp slurp pass blow

592
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:35,840
Speaker 4: drops again and so but it's like, again, this is

593
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:38,800
Speaker 4: not my joke, and I want all credit to him.

594
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:40,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it.

595
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:43,240
Speaker 4: Was like he said, and he would say that.

596
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:43,520
Speaker 1: He sounds cool.

597
00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:48,680
Speaker 4: Let up, I let go up. After he literally went

598
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:54,080
Speaker 4: on stage was like, I hate Jews, but I fres

599
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:55,960
Speaker 4: got you crazy.

600
00:30:57,120 --> 00:31:11,160
Speaker 1: I was like, all right into it. You were like.

601
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:09,560
Speaker 4: He did.

602
00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:21,000
Speaker 7: He had two words, my husband, that is how Literally

603
00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:26,320
Speaker 7: the the Detroit Bomb, This is really good trouble.

604
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:29,560
Speaker 4: Is it already done? Bored?

605
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:32,080
Speaker 1: We keep going.

606
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:35,480
Speaker 4: This is a good one. So it was like the

607
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:37,760
Speaker 4: punk house in Detroit. We were doing a d Y

608
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:40,400
Speaker 4: touring and we were doing like we were like playing

609
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:42,000
Speaker 4: with a bunch of noise people. We were doing like

610
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:45,200
Speaker 4: d I y houses, so Troumble Flex. The floor was

611
00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:47,440
Speaker 4: dirt and it was like all crusties, so it was

612
00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:54,240
Speaker 4: like more dogs there than people. And literally, my friend

613
00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:58,640
Speaker 4: Ruby McAllister best median the planet, was heckled by a

614
00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 4: candle a guy who was like tweeked out on crazy drugs.

615
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:06,840
Speaker 1: This is a drug, that's what you call them. A candle.

616
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:10,040
Speaker 4: He was tweeked down on crazy drugs and he had

617
00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:14,280
Speaker 4: a like candlelabra candle lit and he just like walked

618
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:16,760
Speaker 4: up to the stage like right against the lip of

619
00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:19,800
Speaker 4: the stage and just held a candle, a lit candle,

620
00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:24,920
Speaker 4: held a lit candle just like in her face. And

621
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:27,240
Speaker 4: she was like, oh, I'm literally getting heckled by a

622
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:30,200
Speaker 4: candle and we all just like fucking bombed. And then

623
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:32,440
Speaker 4: there was like the whole show. There was a guy

624
00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:34,440
Speaker 4: in the back of the venue scribbling on the wall

625
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:37,440
Speaker 4: with grayons. And then there was a Jugglo in the

626
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:39,600
Speaker 4: back of the house the whole time, sitting there silently

627
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:44,080
Speaker 4: in full Jugglo makeup. And his name was Freshness. Shout

628
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:46,080
Speaker 4: out the freshness of the juggler in the droit. He

629
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:48,040
Speaker 4: came correct.

630
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:54,120
Speaker 7: He had a sequin Fedora full jug whoa.

631
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:57,360
Speaker 4: Fling shirt with like like magic eight balls on it

632
00:32:57,440 --> 00:33:01,040
Speaker 4: that flames, and he brought little picture of me. He

633
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 4: drew a picture.

634
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 1: Oh he was like your first fan, first fan. Yeah,

635
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:05,000
Speaker 1: that's sick.

636
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:08,600
Speaker 4: He drew a picture. Thank you, Sarah for bringing your

637
00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:12,440
Speaker 4: Chicago comedy to Oh.

638
00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:14,560
Speaker 1: So he was like a sweetie, Pat, He's a sweetie.

639
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:16,720
Speaker 4: But he saw the bomb.

640
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:19,680
Speaker 1: Can the candle?

641
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:22,960
Speaker 4: Can you how threatening fire?

642
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:25,600
Speaker 1: Well? This is hell chop this hell chop, this is

643
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:27,640
Speaker 1: the hell This is the hell tap tour that you

644
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:28,120
Speaker 1: talked about.

645
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:28,760
Speaker 6: Yeah.

646
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:30,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, I went on tour with the show called hell

647
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:33,400
Speaker 4: Trap Nightmare. And of course if you're going to do

648
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:35,440
Speaker 4: a show called hell Drop Nightmare, you are going to

649
00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:37,080
Speaker 4: be inviting hell trap nightmare?

650
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:39,760
Speaker 1: What was that door?

651
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 6: Like?

652
00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:42,880
Speaker 4: Well awesome? We were like sleeping in the bathtub, literally

653
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:47,560
Speaker 4: like waking up everybodd bed bugs. We would like do

654
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:49,960
Speaker 4: shows in like people's living rooms and then be like, hey,

655
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:52,280
Speaker 4: do you guys have a microphone? They'd be like no,

656
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:54,040
Speaker 4: like sleeping.

657
00:33:54,760 --> 00:34:00,200
Speaker 1: Rust punk Squatter was like squatter literally squatters right, it's

658
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:04,240
Speaker 1: the Squatters.

659
00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:04,400
Speaker 4: Right, And I was like doing my I would be like,

660
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:05,960
Speaker 4: so I'm Jewish?

661
00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:08,160
Speaker 1: Were you guys eating like bread sandwiches?

662
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:11,120
Speaker 4: We would like literally e mcdonald' every morning and then

663
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:15,120
Speaker 4: be like, why do we feel sick? Any bugles? Wah wah?

664
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:17,040
Speaker 4: Get an ice coffee froma wah?

665
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:19,680
Speaker 1: No nutrients in your body.

666
00:34:19,680 --> 00:34:21,680
Speaker 4: The whole tour, the whole tour we would do like

667
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:24,200
Speaker 4: it was I mean it was legitimately awesome because we'd

668
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:26,640
Speaker 4: be like we do like a show in Pittsburgh with

669
00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:30,200
Speaker 4: these performance artists who literally played a scarf as an instrument.

670
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:33,800
Speaker 1: It was were we going to go see the Residents

671
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:35,120
Speaker 1: fifty year anniversary?

672
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:40,120
Speaker 4: And no pasted already it was in Manhattan, but we

673
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:42,279
Speaker 4: were going to go. I literally texted you I got

674
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:44,360
Speaker 4: his tickets, but then I have works We couldn't go.

675
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 4: But you weren't even in town. It wasn't but.

676
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:51,600
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we'll wait for their seventy of the university.

677
00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:54,239
Speaker 4: We missed it.

678
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:58,920
Speaker 1: Oh man, you gotte me to stuff. Man, I don't know.

679
00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:01,359
Speaker 1: I was sitting in my apartment. I stare at the wall.

680
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:03,720
Speaker 4: I buy it. Literally every single time I do anything,

681
00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:05,480
Speaker 4: I buy one ticket for me, one ticket for Dan,

682
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:10,759
Speaker 4: one ticket for then I get. Every day you're like,

683
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:11,520
Speaker 4: I'm at the next game.

684
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:14,439
Speaker 1: I go, thanks for I've been to two Knicks games.

685
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 4: Every single day. You go, I'm at the next gamp.

686
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:18,040
Speaker 4: Oh I went to Gary Newman without you. That's what

687
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:18,399
Speaker 4: I did.

688
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:23,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm still upset. I the podcast would be twice

689
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:24,759
Speaker 1: as long if you didn't do that to me. That's

690
00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:28,560
Speaker 1: why I'm cutting it short. This is actually the longest episode.

691
00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:32,279
Speaker 4: Because you're like, I'm hungry, my allergies hurt, I gotta

692
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 4: go home. Thanks for coming.

693
00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:35,520
Speaker 1: How do you want to end this?

694
00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:37,640
Speaker 4: I want to think of like a really good bomb

695
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,400
Speaker 4: one time. One time I opened up for a metal

696
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:43,680
Speaker 4: band and I really bombed. But I like doing those

697
00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:46,160
Speaker 4: shows like Black Mini. Please have me open up for

698
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:47,839
Speaker 4: you again. Even though I talked about how I bombed

699
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:49,839
Speaker 4: opening for you, please seriously, I love you guys, You're

700
00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:52,399
Speaker 4: the best man. That was all me when I when

701
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:55,080
Speaker 4: I'm mom well because my bombs are huge, because I

702
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:58,400
Speaker 4: literally show videos of poopy buttholes, and I was like

703
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:01,640
Speaker 4: showing videos a poopy butthole and this all right.

704
00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:02,720
Speaker 1: You already told that story.

705
00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:05,120
Speaker 4: No, it's a new one. I was opening for this

706
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:10,440
Speaker 4: metal band and this guy went fuck you news suck

707
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:14,399
Speaker 4: and everyone's like yeah, yeah. And then the headliner band

708
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:16,960
Speaker 4: that got on, this pump band, meat Wave, who is awesome,

709
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:20,640
Speaker 4: was like to whoever said like they got a stage

710
00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:23,720
Speaker 4: and they're like, whoever said, Sarah squirm you suck? Fuck

711
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:27,759
Speaker 4: you Yeah? And then they played cool music.

712
00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:32,839
Speaker 1: That's that's rough. Fuck you.

713
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:33,719
Speaker 4: You haven't had that.

714
00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:38,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, But I've only open up for bands maybe once

715
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:40,880
Speaker 1: or twice and immediately realized it was bad and like,

716
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:44,880
Speaker 1: never do it. Play played an outdoor played an outdoor festival.

717
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:49,239
Speaker 1: I'd rather be in the perfect environment for stand up

718
00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:52,040
Speaker 1: and create a bunch of chaos than be in a

719
00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:55,880
Speaker 1: chaotic environment and try to keep up. It's way higher

720
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:58,920
Speaker 1: stakes to go to the laugh factory, yes, or the

721
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:02,200
Speaker 1: comedy store and throw shit all over the stage. And

722
00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:06,320
Speaker 1: jump in the audience and be crazy because you're subverting

723
00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:12,080
Speaker 1: the convention. If you're already in an environment that's already

724
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:15,680
Speaker 1: punk rock, there's kind of nowhere to go. Sure, So yeah,

725
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:21,160
Speaker 1: I'd rather be like punk rock in the traditional environment.

726
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:25,360
Speaker 4: And like, I'd rather be a masochist and go into

727
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:27,440
Speaker 4: a no win situation.

728
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:32,279
Speaker 1: I feel I've been in a million of I've been

729
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:36,040
Speaker 1: in a million of those, but I no longer have

730
00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:40,520
Speaker 1: the strength. I can't even do a regular show. I

731
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:46,080
Speaker 1: can't read and I can't do a regular sh I

732
00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:49,000
Speaker 1: just a quarantine, like a different I drank so much

733
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:50,279
Speaker 1: in quarantine that I came out.

734
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:52,520
Speaker 4: You had to read all those cocktail.

735
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:55,000
Speaker 1: Books, Yeah, there you go. Oh yeah, I would read

736
00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:57,759
Speaker 1: through those like crazy. Any other was.

737
00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:04,239
Speaker 4: Reading through a cocktail list ingredient when you get you're

738
00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:06,600
Speaker 4: always like asking me, like what am I supposed to

739
00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:09,680
Speaker 4: think of, like the conflict in the Middle East, And

740
00:38:09,719 --> 00:38:12,080
Speaker 4: I'll send you and I'm like, oh, thanks for the question.

741
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:15,080
Speaker 4: Here's an article. I send you an article you can't

742
00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:17,799
Speaker 4: read this reward ass Yeah.

743
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:20,799
Speaker 1: Well, also, I'm on my phone already, so I'm already distracted.

744
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:24,239
Speaker 1: I'm gonna stop down from Instagram to read like some

745
00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:38,280
Speaker 1: grueling grim history and Instagram. Yeah, Sarah scrim love yours,

746
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:43,080
Speaker 1: give it up to God, good night, and I'll tell

747
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:51,280
Speaker 1: you where you didn't bomb this podcast with a recon.

748
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:54,440
Speaker 1: All right, listen up, we got some special for you.

749
00:38:54,719 --> 00:38:57,040
Speaker 9: Got a burning story that you're itching to tell about

750
00:38:57,040 --> 00:38:59,879
Speaker 9: when you bombed or absolutely failed in life. Now's your

751
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 9: chance to tell me all about it, Babe. I want

752
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:06,360
Speaker 9: to hear your worst, most cringe worthy what the fuck

753
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:07,360
Speaker 9: was I thinking?

754
00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:08,760
Speaker 1: What just happened? Moment?

755
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:11,759
Speaker 9: So pick up your phone and dial seven one six

756
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:15,520
Speaker 9: Bombing at seven one six two six six twenty four

757
00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:18,400
Speaker 9: sixty four and leave me a voicemail and we might.

758
00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:20,040
Speaker 1: Just play it on a future episode.

759
00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:21,919
Speaker 9: Bombing with Eric Andre is brought to you by Will

760
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:25,160
Speaker 9: Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcast. Our executive

761
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:28,960
Speaker 9: producer is Olivia Aguilar, Our producer is Bei Wang, Our

762
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:32,160
Speaker 9: research assistant is David Carliner, our editor in sound designers

763
00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:34,759
Speaker 9: Andy Harris, and our art is by Dylan Vanderberg. Go

764
00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:36,799
Speaker 9: rate us five stars and drop a review on your

765
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 9: podcast app a choice