Speaker 1: Hey guys, So we are so excited to wind down today. Um,
Speaker 1: we have a great show. We have a great show,
Speaker 1: and we have the whole family in here. We on Sunday.
Speaker 1: We came in on a Sunday, so we had recorded
Speaker 1: the show when it was a Babe last last Thursday
Speaker 1: or Friday. Yeah, it was last Friday, and we had
Speaker 1: posted a photo on my Instagram feed and it was
Speaker 1: just a cute photo of us being like, hey, we're
Speaker 1: back to work and matching in our Jeane jackets. And
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, no, it wasn't actually all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, we go home and then you know,
Speaker 1: I'm unfortunately I look at my comments and sometimes people
Speaker 1: can be really mean, and usually I ignore it, but
Speaker 1: I was so and I remember I came to you
Speaker 1: and I go because you said what's wrong? And I
Speaker 1: looked kind of sad and said, people are body shaming
Speaker 1: me on my Instagram. That photo, he's like, which thought
Speaker 1: I was like, the photo of us back to work,
Speaker 1: and you're like and and so I started to get
Speaker 1: really upset because I was reading this comment, especially from
Speaker 1: this one lady. I'm not going to mention her name,
Speaker 1: so I don't want to give any more attention than
Speaker 1: she's already gotten. But she basically was saying a few things. Um.
Speaker 1: I looked at that. I that I had a tummy talk.
Speaker 1: She's like, well, that's what happens when you're a celebrity
Speaker 1: and you could have a tummy talk. Um. What else
Speaker 1: did she say? Well, that's what happens when you have
Speaker 1: fortunes and you could have a private chef. Um that
Speaker 1: I faked my pregnancy that Um what else that was?
Speaker 1: That was too thin? Because you have money, you can
Speaker 1: afford a trainer. Yeah, I can afford a trainer every
Speaker 1: single day. Um. And that basically I was I was
Speaker 1: too small post baby, and I was like, I'm getting
Speaker 1: body shame for being too small. It's like if I
Speaker 1: would have posted so anyways, Then after that, I started
Speaker 1: to defend myself in the comments, and so I thought, well,
Speaker 1: we need to defend ourselves on this this platform. Yeah, absolutely,
Speaker 1: and you did. You did a great job in expressing
Speaker 1: yourself in your post following well, and I had I
Speaker 1: wanted to post a photo of the full image, and
Speaker 1: I'm so glad that I didn't. I mean, I ended
Speaker 1: up showing a photo in my stories of the full
Speaker 1: image because you know, my my girlfriend Sarah Bryce was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, let's start a movement, whether it's you know,
Speaker 1: postpartum is beautiful, whether you recover fast or you don't,
Speaker 1: you know, don't recover as fast. And so I but
Speaker 1: I cropped the photo at first because it's like, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna get shamed for being too small, too big. It's
Speaker 1: like everybody's bodies are different. Why am I getting shamed
Speaker 1: for for bouncing back quicker? You know? I think I
Speaker 1: think the most infuriating part of all of that is, Okay,
Speaker 1: if people want to comment about someone else's body whatever,
Speaker 1: people are always going to do that. But the fact
Speaker 1: that she wants to stereo type and jump to conclusions
Speaker 1: that you have a private chef, you work with a
Speaker 1: trainer every day, you had a tummy tuck, and all
Speaker 1: these outrageous things. Yeah, you have a chef. His name
Speaker 1: is your husband. Me. When I'm not cooking, you're cooking,
Speaker 1: or it's Postmates or yeah, or we're fortunate to get
Speaker 1: Hello Fresh every now and then. But we cook and
Speaker 1: you work out with the trainer, yes, when you can.
Speaker 1: Well that's the thing too. I was like, man, I
Speaker 1: started to think back on how many times actually worked
Speaker 1: out with Aaron. It was maybe once a week maybe. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And the thing is too, it's like, because you took
Speaker 1: care of yourself during your pregnancy, you didn't just sit
Speaker 1: on your ass and just you know, feel sorry for
Speaker 1: yourself or anything. And some people during their pregnancy they
Speaker 1: can't physically do anything, and that's okay, but you had
Speaker 1: the energy you had, you have the determination to get
Speaker 1: up and do something, and you want to bounce back
Speaker 1: quick afterwards. That's why you work your ass off, You
Speaker 1: eat great, you work out and all that stuff during
Speaker 1: your pregnancy, and you reap the benefits afterwards. Again not
Speaker 1: saying that everyone has to do that, because some people
Speaker 1: physically can't. Just like you in the first trime, master
Speaker 1: you physically bear, they could get out of bed. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and there's our baby. So yeah, there is a family
Speaker 1: affair in here today because we're all upset about this,
Speaker 1: and just leave my wife alone, leave people alone. And
Speaker 1: it's not even about like sitting on your butt, because
Speaker 1: it's just you know, Mama Training always said, she's like,
Speaker 1: you have an excuse to be able to eat whatever
Speaker 1: you want because you're gonna get big. But with this pregnancy,
Speaker 1: I ate so much different than Jolie. With Jolie, I
Speaker 1: had pasta and and and um potatoes because that's what
Speaker 1: I craved. I didn't crave any of that when I
Speaker 1: was pregnant with Jayce. All I wanted was salads. So,
Speaker 1: you know, it's you're just getting shamed for working hard,
Speaker 1: which is so ridiculous, Which is just the whole thing
Speaker 1: about people on on social media and all that they
Speaker 1: want to hate on people and everything. Guess what, I
Speaker 1: guarantee people that hate on other people aren't successful in
Speaker 1: their life and they wait for things to come to
Speaker 1: them when hard work is how you get things done,
Speaker 1: whether it be successful in your career and your personal life,
Speaker 1: with your body, whatever it is. You're getting really heated round. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because I wanted to defend you, because this is it's
Speaker 1: bs that someone attacks you like that when they don't
Speaker 1: know at all how hard you work every single day
Speaker 1: and how hard you did work during your pregnancy. So
Speaker 1: it's unbelievable that people have the audacity to say these
Speaker 1: kind of things. I know, Jolie, I agree with you, honey.
Speaker 1: It's it's crazy. You know. It infuriates me though, is
Speaker 1: that people think we're just like loaded for first of all,
Speaker 1: there it's like if I, first of all, we don't
Speaker 1: have enough money to get a tummy talk, even if
Speaker 1: I want to tummy. I'm not saying we're you know,
Speaker 1: we're you know, we're we're we're comfortable, but we also
Speaker 1: che and we're comfortable. Yeah, but we also don't know
Speaker 1: what next year is gonna hold. You know, nothing in
Speaker 1: our businesses is guaranteed. I don't know if I'm going
Speaker 1: to ever book a movie again, our TV show, or
Speaker 1: if if my music you know, people will buy it,
Speaker 1: or it's this podcast is gonna I don't. We don't know,
Speaker 1: so we have to really we can't do extravagant things
Speaker 1: and people think even sweet are are you know Michelle
Speaker 1: who helps with Jolie, she was. I laughed at the
Speaker 1: comments about the personal shop. People think that you have
Speaker 1: all this money, and it's like it's again, it's another
Speaker 1: stereotype where you know, when I was playing in the NFL,
Speaker 1: people just that don't know, automatically think you have millions
Speaker 1: of dollars. We're living in a square foot house right
Speaker 1: now in Los Angeles. It's not it doesn't look like that,
Speaker 1: like just because you're an entertainment and I would play football,
Speaker 1: and now we're doing this. It's like, doesn't mean just
Speaker 1: money just falls off the trees. Remember that, everybody else?
Speaker 1: Remember that one comment we got on Instagram, They go, Wow,
Speaker 1: your house is so dot dot dot normal. I'm like,
Speaker 1: what is it supposed to look? Yeah? Again, people have
Speaker 1: these perceptions. Not granted, we go back to Nashville, our
Speaker 1: house will be a lot. Well, it's because it's the
Speaker 1: Nashville and but again it's more affordable there. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: which is why we're moving to Nashville's because we can't
Speaker 1: afford a house that we need in l A. So
Speaker 1: that's why we're moving. We don't have the money to
Speaker 1: have a personal shop. It's so ridiculous that people just
Speaker 1: jumped to these conclusions. And it's just like why, Like, again,
Speaker 1: haters are gonna hate, They're gonna say the things, and
Speaker 1: most of the time it is because they're miserable in
Speaker 1: their life. Come your honey, Joey is having a mess.
Speaker 1: I just that's okay, honey, we're all upset. I just
Speaker 1: wish that women would support each other's bodies. Oh geez, Louis,
Speaker 1: can you headphones? You want your headphones? You want? You
Speaker 1: want your headphones? Okay? You want to tissue? Do you
Speaker 1: want to starburst? That'll keep her quiet? You want your candy? Okay,
Speaker 1: you want I'm doing you a game. I just wish
Speaker 1: that women would support each other and not body shame,
Speaker 1: whether you're too thin, too big, too whatever, or it's like, man,
Speaker 1: you've been you look this way ten months postpartum or
Speaker 1: one week postpartum, how dare you look too good? Well,
Speaker 1: my friend Katherine, she goes, how dare you look too
Speaker 1: thin after giving a birth? How dare you look too
Speaker 1: fat after giving birth? It's like you can't win, No,
Speaker 1: you can't. And it's just it's unfortunately, it's just women
Speaker 1: that shame like that, that body shame. You don't think
Speaker 1: guys do not each other? No, you don't think so
Speaker 1: at all. Guys don't body shame each other. And why
Speaker 1: is that? I don't think the how a man's physical appearance. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: for women, it's there's more of a pedestal on how
Speaker 1: you guys are supposed to look, where men there's not.
Speaker 1: There's not a stigma like there is for women. And
Speaker 1: that's just generations and generations of how society has been
Speaker 1: and perceived men versus women. So men don't body shame
Speaker 1: each other. I really don't. I sometimes have body envy,
Speaker 1: Like I look at you know, Lauren Bush now and
Speaker 1: I'm like, God, you're so thin and you're so fit.
Speaker 1: I wish I looked like that. But then I'm like,
Speaker 1: can I give myself a little grace? I just had
Speaker 1: a baby, even though I look in the mirror and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, this is not how I look before
Speaker 1: a baby. So it's so I get depressed. I have
Speaker 1: my hormones going through my body, but at the same time,
Speaker 1: what I just went through is a beautiful thing. I'm
Speaker 1: a mother of two. My body is not going to
Speaker 1: most likely look like that, and right, but I mean,
Speaker 1: I've always kind of had a little bit of a
Speaker 1: you know, a pooch in my opinion, and so but
Speaker 1: I'm but I'm just saying, like it's it's you know,
Speaker 1: I do have sometimes have body envy, but I would
Speaker 1: never shame someone for looking a certain way, you know.
Speaker 1: It's just it's really sad that women do that. And
Speaker 1: I just really hope that women can just have grace
Speaker 1: for yourself. You're not going to look the same as
Speaker 1: somebody else, and that's what makes us beautiful and different
Speaker 1: in our own personal ways. Absolutely, and that's okay. Yeah,
Speaker 1: people are seeing to calm the ft down Onto wind Down,
Speaker 1: wind Down with j Kramer and I Heart Radio podcast.
Speaker 1: We're out of the house. I mean, I just feel
Speaker 1: so relieved sitting in the studio again. It feels like
Speaker 1: it's been an eternity since we've been in here, I know,
Speaker 1: And it just feels so nice to just like this morning,
Speaker 1: I put on some makeup, I put some clothes on,
Speaker 1: I put on deodorant, I got out, I breathed. How
Speaker 1: did I say that, I breathed in the fresh air. No?
Speaker 1: Is that it works? Breathe breathed. It doesn't sound right,
Speaker 1: doesn't sound right at all. I breathed in the fresh air,
Speaker 1: breathed in fresh air. No, but it was so like
Speaker 1: I felt like I was skipping out of the house.
Speaker 1: Not but I obviously I am so sad to leave
Speaker 1: Jason Jolly home. But at the same time, we haven't
Speaker 1: we haven't left the house in a week. Yeah. Well
Speaker 1: actually and was just to run out and get something
Speaker 1: real quick, but were out of the house. I haven't
Speaker 1: been out of the house, yeah, because I've had to
Speaker 1: take joulders because I was recovering for my c section, which,
Speaker 1: by the way, I just have to say, it barely
Speaker 1: looks like you're pregnant, Like you're ever pregnant. The studio's
Speaker 1: ghost down today. But I was counting on a bunch
Speaker 1: of people saying that to you, because that's what everyone
Speaker 1: we say. It's like, I can't believe you just had
Speaker 1: a baby. Oh my gosh, Well I feel like I
Speaker 1: just had a baby, and my stomach still feels incredibly
Speaker 1: cut up, like I just had a baby. Well, you
Speaker 1: look amazing. Thanks by um. I just have to say
Speaker 1: thank you to every single one of the wine Down
Speaker 1: listeners for being so incredibly supportive about our last podcast
Speaker 1: episode when we well, I've recorded the birth of Jace. I,
Speaker 1: Michael and I were listening to it in bed that
Speaker 1: day and I made you turn it off. You're embarrassed.
Speaker 1: I started crying. I was so embarrassed. I was like,
Speaker 1: I knew that we were obviously doing a live podcast,
Speaker 1: but I didn't know that we were keeping everything in Easton.
Speaker 1: I didn't know you were keeping in me like vomiting.
Speaker 1: I mean, I was vomiting on the table that's that's
Speaker 1: visceral stuff. I like, was there, right, But then I'm
Speaker 1: like when I was going no, no, no, no, Jane, Jane, Jane,
Speaker 1: No no No, I'm like, oh my god, I'm so embarrassed.
Speaker 1: You know how many people probably feel so much more
Speaker 1: comfortable now with their experience or going into their experience
Speaker 1: because they know someone like you has been so open
Speaker 1: and vocal and vulnerable about all this. Knowing that stars
Speaker 1: they're just like no. But I literally made Michael turn
Speaker 1: it off. I started bawling my eyes out, and I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm so embarrassed. Everyone's gonna think I'm crazy,
Speaker 1: and I just have to say I have just been
Speaker 1: blown away by the support, and selfishly, I don't feel
Speaker 1: as crazy now because a lot of other moms had
Speaker 1: the same issue as friends of yours that you didn't
Speaker 1: even you didn't even know how to kind of experiences. Yeah, like, oh,
Speaker 1: I you know, I didn't feel anything up to my
Speaker 1: throat or I was puking too, And I'm like, really, like,
Speaker 1: so I again, I just said like ten times, so
Speaker 1: I'm gonna stop that. But I just I'm so grateful
Speaker 1: and I just can't thank you guys enough for making
Speaker 1: me feel a little less crazy and making me feel
Speaker 1: like I didn't look at that. I don't have to
Speaker 1: be embarrassed. I'm not going to listen to it. I'm
Speaker 1: not going to finish those things to it. But because
Speaker 1: I remember it very vividly, I don't want to have
Speaker 1: to relive it. Yeah, I know. So I'm not thinking
Speaker 1: I'm proud of you. I know a lot of people
Speaker 1: are proud of you. And I mean that takes a
Speaker 1: lot of a lot of ways, a lot of lady
Speaker 1: balls to put yourself out there like that. So you
Speaker 1: did amazing. Can we just say, real fast though, how
Speaker 1: it was my idea to do the sweet messages to
Speaker 1: each other? Yeah, let's talk about this. Well, no, because
Speaker 1: I just feel like so it was my idea. I
Speaker 1: was like, hey, babe, I think we should I think
Speaker 1: we should say like sweet notes to each other, like
Speaker 1: right before. But when we separate and I go into
Speaker 1: the operating room, we leave a message for each other.
Speaker 1: And so Michael gets all the credit because he left
Speaker 1: me the sweetest voice memo and I had no idea
Speaker 1: that I was when we separated, that I was going
Speaker 1: straight into the O R room. So I just trying
Speaker 1: to say face right now and say that it was
Speaker 1: her idea because I was just extremely thoughtful and super sweet. Crap.
Speaker 1: I'll try. I don't just do my bunder here, honey,
Speaker 1: he goes, well, I don't care. It makes me look better.
Speaker 1: Right before the episode, before we listened to it, I
Speaker 1: go obey. By the way, I didn't have a chance
Speaker 1: to say, you know, thank you to Michael for being
Speaker 1: but I'll do it right now. Michael, I just want
Speaker 1: to say thank you so much for being the fast
Speaker 1: nine months. You've been incredible and I'm so proud of
Speaker 1: you and i just can't wait to have this baby boy.
Speaker 1: There go, thanks so powerful. Yeah, so um that happened.
Speaker 1: But again, I just can't thank you guys enough. I
Speaker 1: don't feel as crazy, and I'm just really glad that,
Speaker 1: um we did that. I am glad we did that.
Speaker 1: But I'm also glad that we have Amazon Fire TV, yeah,
Speaker 1: because we've been inside all the time. Yeah. And with
Speaker 1: watching we can watch movies, TV, YouTube, I mean anything
Speaker 1: we want from Netflix to Prime Video, Hulu. I mean, Michael,
Speaker 1: you can even stay up while you have Ja's for
Speaker 1: the nighttime feeding and you can do you can watch
Speaker 1: a makeup tutorial. I'll pass on that, but I haven't
Speaker 1: catching up on my shows on Netflix while I'm up
Speaker 1: with our child. But it's so great though, I mean
Speaker 1: it's it's it's easy as saying, hey, Alexa, open YouTube.
Speaker 1: So it's incredible. Um, head to Amazon dot com slash
Speaker 1: wind down again. That's Amazon dot Com slash wind down
Speaker 1: to order a fire TV of your very owned and
Speaker 1: they make really great gifts too for the holiday season.
Speaker 1: I was thinking, yeah, maybe for your brother. I like
Speaker 1: the work. So we have two really really great guests today.
Speaker 1: I'm really excited because one was the original Power Ranger,
Speaker 1: which you kind of wanna. That was in our notes
Speaker 1: that she was the original Power Ranger. But you you
Speaker 1: you're calling not she was on Power Rangers like Lost Galaxy,
Speaker 1: which is awesome Nerds like you guys are the biggest
Speaker 1: nerds ever, Like, that's not the original Power Ranger. I'm
Speaker 1: just saying, if you're going to use the word original, original,
Speaker 1: was like, but she's original, She's still a Power Ranger.
Speaker 1: You want her to show you the moves. I want
Speaker 1: to know how she did them all? Did she do
Speaker 1: her own stunts? Yeah? How much martial arts? Did she learn.
Speaker 1: I mean, I have no idea. Hey, do we want
Speaker 1: to talk about that. We've had your parents in town
Speaker 1: for the last week. I'm sure it's been awesome. It
Speaker 1: hasn't been able to sleep. It's so funny though, how
Speaker 1: some people want guests after babies and some people don't.
Speaker 1: You know, yeah, there, Yeah, it's two different mentalities. I know.
Speaker 1: I'm very curious how people handle because sometimes you know,
Speaker 1: in laws can be overbearing, parents can be overbearing in general.
Speaker 1: But I think it's been great though. They've been really good,
Speaker 1: are very helpful. Yeah, it's so much so that now
Speaker 1: we're like, my mom's gone, my dad already left, my
Speaker 1: mom's gone, and now it's like, wait, we don't have
Speaker 1: a third person to help pop out, Like what do
Speaker 1: we do now? What's the best thing about having jays
Speaker 1: a son? Right now? Oh? Man? I think you know,
Speaker 1: I've said this numerous times to you and to other
Speaker 1: people that have asked me. I feel like there's something
Speaker 1: to be said for when you have a child that
Speaker 1: is the same sex as you. There's a little bit
Speaker 1: more initial connection, there's you know, there's I feel like
Speaker 1: there's a little bit more responsibility. So I think just
Speaker 1: like I told you the other night when you're like,
Speaker 1: why don't I come get you in the middle of night,
Speaker 1: because I was like, I even though he was like
Speaker 1: five days old, I felt like we were bonding, you know,
Speaker 1: and that's just super cool to have that feeling already,
Speaker 1: let alone when he can actually interact with me and
Speaker 1: do those things. So I don't know, I just think
Speaker 1: it's it's just cool. It's just feeling said I didn't
Speaker 1: have with Jolie. Not to take away from Jolie, because
Speaker 1: I love her just as much, but it's just there's
Speaker 1: something about it. Yeah. I told Michael in the hospital.
Speaker 1: I was just sitting in the hospital bed and I
Speaker 1: saw Michael holding Jason. I said, not taking anything away
Speaker 1: from Jolie, you were great, But I said, but you
Speaker 1: are so much different with this, with this birth. I
Speaker 1: don't I I think some of it's because you're in
Speaker 1: a better place and you're healthier, but I also think
Speaker 1: you just have, like you said, that connection, not that
Speaker 1: you didn't have the connection with Jolie, but you're just
Speaker 1: so much more present and that helps you better with
Speaker 1: maybe the connection. Yeah, there's no question. I mean, it's
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know what percentages what how much
Speaker 1: of it is just my mental health and where I'm
Speaker 1: at now and my life is a way better than
Speaker 1: where it was when Jolie was born, fortunately and unfortunately.
Speaker 1: Um but so I think it's it's a mix of too.
Speaker 1: It's I'm I'm in a better place now and also
Speaker 1: because he's my little boy and there's just an immediate
Speaker 1: connection as opposed to Jolie, where it's like, yes there's
Speaker 1: a connection, but it's my daughter as opposed to myself.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm not saying putting one above the other
Speaker 1: at all, And it's just I think anyone who has
Speaker 1: multiple children and of different sexes, I think they can
Speaker 1: probably relate. It's funny. I want to talk to the
Speaker 1: We have a therapist calling into Dr Dale Saltz. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I'm curious to see if i'd like, I'd love
Speaker 1: to talk to you about the postpartum depression and and
Speaker 1: what's kind of normal and then what's just like your
Speaker 1: hormones balancing back, because even just after the after the birth,
Speaker 1: I mean obviously I've been crying at the randomest things,
Speaker 1: like you cut that lemon perfectly, Like I mean crying
Speaker 1: from that too, you know, am I depressed it, you know,
Speaker 1: do I feel depressed? Do I have this the same connection?
Speaker 1: Because I think, you know, I had obviously such a
Speaker 1: huge connection with with Jolie, and then when I had Jason,
Speaker 1: again not saying I didn't have that connection, but it
Speaker 1: was just from surgery and all the medicines. And then
Speaker 1: you start to compare, like, is this the exact same
Speaker 1: how I felt with Jolie? Oh my gosh, is it less?
Speaker 1: Oh no, do I not have a connection? And you
Speaker 1: start to freak yourself out that you're it's just so different,
Speaker 1: I know, but it's it's amazing how our hearts have
Speaker 1: grown in the Yeah, that's funny too. How literally the
Speaker 1: night before we're looking at Julie Wick. How can we
Speaker 1: love another human being as much as Jolie? And immediately
Speaker 1: as James comes out your heart, you know, it's like
Speaker 1: the Grinch like gets sometimes big, Like in a matter
Speaker 1: of a second, he's so perfect love and already we
Speaker 1: love him in so much, but in a different way.
Speaker 1: I know, he's our little boy. He's so handsome, he's
Speaker 1: so handsome. He might be cuter than Jolie he was.
Speaker 1: I'm just putting that out there. I think he might
Speaker 1: be a cuter baby then Jolie, which is crazy to think.
Speaker 1: I can't believe you didn't say that. Jolie is like perfect,
Speaker 1: she is, he's handsome. I don't know what to do
Speaker 1: with his peep though. It's like the balls and the
Speaker 1: you know, having to wipe around the ball like that's
Speaker 1: a lot of Like you guys have to deal with that.
Speaker 1: You gotta wipe your balls like that. I mean, as
Speaker 1: a grown man, I'm not pooping in a diaper soop
Speaker 1: to get all over my balls. But yeah, and you
Speaker 1: gotta be careful. You can't, you know, you gotta. I
Speaker 1: don't know what to do with it. It's just so
Speaker 1: like flimsy and just the balls yet no grow he's
Speaker 1: had him. He's had a boner, Yeah, a little baby browner.
Speaker 1: Stop yeah already, No, that's disgusting. You can you can
Speaker 1: barely tell because it's like whatever, you just you can
Speaker 1: do all the diaper changes because I know how to
Speaker 1: deal with the vagina, so I had to learn the
Speaker 1: vagina and wiping. Gotta wipe down, not up, and all
Speaker 1: this other stuff and gotta get in there and they
Speaker 1: gotta get in there. Yeah, I've done that. You can
Speaker 1: do that with a ball sack. It's just weird, you know.
Speaker 1: It's also been really helpful though, during all this Hell
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Speaker 1: They're the best. Allright. We got Dr Gail Salts on hold.
Speaker 1: Later on, we're gonna have Serena Vincent, who is a
Speaker 1: former Yellow Power Ranger and also is pregnant and doing
Speaker 1: ten weeks. That's crazy. I can't wait to talk to
Speaker 1: about that. I tell her all about the horror stories
Speaker 1: about how amazing it is. Hey Dr Gail, Hi, Hi,
Speaker 1: how you doing good? How are you good? Good? We're
Speaker 1: so happy to have you on the phone with us.
Speaker 1: We're happy to be with you. Um. So, Michael and
Speaker 1: I just had a baby. We now have um we
Speaker 1: now have two beautiful kids plural. Yeah, so we're dealing
Speaker 1: with that right now. Anxiety, pressure, stresses, expectations, you know,
Speaker 1: the whole nine yards yeah, Well, having a newborn is
Speaker 1: stressful in many ways. Even even joyous things can be
Speaker 1: highly anxiety producing. Question um, especially with the lack of sleep.
Speaker 1: Something happened the other day where I wanted to express
Speaker 1: my feelings and Michael I didn't think that I needed
Speaker 1: to express my feelings. He goes, this isn't and express
Speaker 1: your feelings conversation, and I was like, excuse me, Like
Speaker 1: are you saying my feelings don't matter? He's like, you
Speaker 1: don't need to express them, and I'm like, I have
Speaker 1: to express my feelings. I was like, I'm hormonal, and
Speaker 1: I just say what I'm gonna say. But it's because,
Speaker 1: you know, he was He's tired, and he's like, do
Speaker 1: we really have to have this conversation? Like, I know
Speaker 1: what you're gonna say, but I needed to get it out,
Speaker 1: and I know I was sleep deprived to I mean,
Speaker 1: how do you how do you navigate being sleep deprived,
Speaker 1: being hormonal, having two kids, one screaming and then one sick. Well, well,
Speaker 1: let me just say that, you know you you are
Speaker 1: very recent so the first you know having um. You know,
Speaker 1: sometimes it's called baby blues, but baby blues doesn't just
Speaker 1: mean blues that means like labile boes like up and
Speaker 1: down or irritable or anxious. Um are is is a
Speaker 1: real phenomenon that's exceedingly common. I'm not talking about postpartum depression,
Speaker 1: which is also one out of ten women, but much
Speaker 1: more common is this emotional ability and anxiety and moodiness
Speaker 1: and and teeriness. That's the real thing. Um, and it
Speaker 1: is hormonally mediated. And um, you know, I think just
Speaker 1: knowing that you knowing that, like you knowing that is
Speaker 1: helpful because it's it's not such a it's not something
Speaker 1: you necessarily have so much control over. Um. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean I don't even feel like I have control over
Speaker 1: I'm like why, I'm like, I feel out of my body.
Speaker 1: It's some of these you don't because you don't have
Speaker 1: so much control over it. That being said, um, there
Speaker 1: are there are things to do to help yourself a
Speaker 1: little bit in the moment. Um. Definitely having a little
Speaker 1: bit of scooped out time for anything that can be
Speaker 1: relaxing to you sometimes believe it or not, that's a
Speaker 1: little bit of exercise which actually helps regulate your mood. Um.
Speaker 1: What whatever you're able to do, VISA, be your doctor,
Speaker 1: you know, whatever they say is it's okay to be doing.
Speaker 1: But something a little even a walk, um, can be helpful.
Speaker 1: Listening to some relaxing music for a little while or
Speaker 1: watching a show that you enjoy, something where you get
Speaker 1: like snippets of a little bit of relaxation time is
Speaker 1: a good thing. Um. And being able to talk about
Speaker 1: your feelings is is a useful thing. It definitely can
Speaker 1: make you feel better, even if in the moment apparently
Speaker 1: it's not making life feel better. You know, understanding that
Speaker 1: actually that is helpful. It's helpful to her, and in
Speaker 1: the long run, let's be real, it's helpful to her,
Speaker 1: it's helpful to you as as we like to stay
Speaker 1: around around my home. If the mom is not content though, no,
Speaker 1: but you con so you know, so sore, there is
Speaker 1: something to that. Sleep is important um, and it is
Speaker 1: hard to get for both of you, and sleep depervation
Speaker 1: for either one of you. But even if you're not mormonal, Mike, um,
Speaker 1: sleep depervation definitely increases irritability and anger and UM and
Speaker 1: and stress and depression ultimately, UM, So it is important
Speaker 1: to if you have to take turns um catching up
Speaker 1: on sleep to allow the other one to do that
Speaker 1: if you if you need to get some outside support
Speaker 1: so you can get some sleep, whether that's a nap
Speaker 1: or you know, being able to sleep you know, in
Speaker 1: a little bit, or have one time where you aren't
Speaker 1: getting up for beating, etcetera. Um, that's that's really that
Speaker 1: is really important. Um And frankly, others think pretty much
Speaker 1: everything else doesn't matter as much of pretty much. You know,
Speaker 1: how lovely you look, how well grews you are. I'm
Speaker 1: talking about this first month. You know, how how much
Speaker 1: you you do things with other people, you know, those things, um,
Speaker 1: you know will will kind of fall by the wayside
Speaker 1: as well. Sadly, like, um, you know a lot of
Speaker 1: sexual stuff falled by the wayside in the first month
Speaker 1: because it is so it's physically taxing and it's hormonally taxing.
Speaker 1: You know. It's funny too. I I think I didn't
Speaker 1: really mentally prepare prepare myself for the aftermath because all
Speaker 1: you know, the previous nine ten the previous nine ten months.
Speaker 1: You know, it's in my head, it's like, Okay, be patient,
Speaker 1: she's pregnant, she's doing this, And I feel like maybe
Speaker 1: as soon as the baby was out, I was like
Speaker 1: all right, well you're not prey anymore, Like let's do
Speaker 1: like what you're good like back to like teamwork, Like
Speaker 1: it sounds bad, but you have two legs at work,
Speaker 1: like let let's let's do I'm not saying about extreme,
Speaker 1: but maybe a little bit where like okay, let's do
Speaker 1: this teamwork. But so I I will call myself out
Speaker 1: and I can reassessmentally. You know, it's really common when
Speaker 1: you're how old is your daughter? She she'll be three
Speaker 1: in January, so you know, you it's it's three years, Like,
Speaker 1: it's really easy to forget what it was like that
Speaker 1: first month. And that's that's mother nature's way, that's our
Speaker 1: brain's way defensively of a not of allowing our species
Speaker 1: to continue on, because if you could remember every single
Speaker 1: one of these things as vividly as they are in
Speaker 1: the moment, you would not have more kids. So actually
Speaker 1: it's actually really important that to some degree what we
Speaker 1: we painted with rose colored glasses and and you know,
Speaker 1: retrospectively and so actually you probably don't remember, but it
Speaker 1: probably was like this the first go round. This is
Speaker 1: harder because now you have three year old also, and
Speaker 1: so you're it's not like you can hand one, you know,
Speaker 1: the baby to one and the others off. You know,
Speaker 1: you you're sort of double teaming, and that's that is harder,
Speaker 1: more stusful. And you've got to deal with your daughter's
Speaker 1: feelings about having this new interloper you know, in your lives,
Speaker 1: um and and so it's understandable, but you didn't remember,
Speaker 1: and it's wishful thinking and understandably had to that it
Speaker 1: would just go back to the way it was before
Speaker 1: she got pregnant. But but it really isn't like that
Speaker 1: pretty much for anyone, even if you have supports, but
Speaker 1: makes use of support. This is where grandparents can make
Speaker 1: a big difference, um of taking a three year old
Speaker 1: or even taking a baby for a little while um
Speaker 1: or you know, if if you could afford some some
Speaker 1: extra health, that's obviously a big, big plus UM. But
Speaker 1: being able to have someone an extra pair of hands
Speaker 1: and and may even even more like a mind, an
Speaker 1: extra mind in there that can offload you in the beginning, UM,
Speaker 1: so you can sort of at least physically physiologically recover
Speaker 1: for sure. You know, now that we're growing our family,
Speaker 1: doctor Gale, you know, something that will come up as
Speaker 1: we continue as the family grows and so on and
Speaker 1: so forth. Is obviously this time of year holiday stresses, right,
Speaker 1: debating where are you gonna go for Thanksgiving? What are
Speaker 1: we gonna do for Christmas? Where our families growing? We
Speaker 1: want to start our own tradition, how do like, what's
Speaker 1: the best way to navigate navigate those things? When you
Speaker 1: want to start you own traditions, but at the same time,
Speaker 1: you want to be with the rest of your family,
Speaker 1: like you know right, well, um, you know I I
Speaker 1: would say you're going to make compromise. And I mean
Speaker 1: the word compromise is really the name of the game
Speaker 1: for just about everything. Right, your three year olds not
Speaker 1: going to get as much as they got before. That's
Speaker 1: going to be your compromise. You know, the baby doesn't
Speaker 1: get to be first born, that's they're compromised. You guys
Speaker 1: are gonna have to do lots of compromising. And the
Speaker 1: same is true here for when you start thinking about
Speaker 1: how do you build your family unit with the traditions
Speaker 1: that you're going to want to have, and at the
Speaker 1: same time, you know not well, part of the traditions
Speaker 1: they're probably going to include other relatives. The problem is
Speaker 1: is our family doesn't you know, my families in Michigan
Speaker 1: and his families in Virginia, and you know, I have
Speaker 1: a very strong opinion about Christmas, about you know, starting
Speaker 1: our own tradition, and so you know Michael does too,
Speaker 1: but he also is like, Okay, well, you know, we
Speaker 1: need to go home sometime. But I'm like, but I
Speaker 1: I just I never got to have that. Yes, I
Speaker 1: woke up in my my home, you know, for Christmas,
Speaker 1: but then I was pulled every which way because my
Speaker 1: parents were divorced. And it's like, I just want my
Speaker 1: kids to be in their home on Christmas morning and
Speaker 1: just and almost have the Christmas is that I didn't
Speaker 1: get to have, you know, and and started and but
Speaker 1: I like, did you did you have that kind of
Speaker 1: prisms to um, my parents have been together for thirty
Speaker 1: plus years, and so I woke up and it was
Speaker 1: every year, you know, Christmas Eve was my dad's side
Speaker 1: of the family, Christmas Day was my mom's side of
Speaker 1: the family, and it was pretty regimented. And that's the
Speaker 1: one holiday that was pretty consistent. Thanksgiving kind of fell
Speaker 1: off later in life, but Christmas has always been more
Speaker 1: of the constant. Now with cousins and relatives scattering all
Speaker 1: over the country and being older, it's it's not the same.
Speaker 1: But as a kid, I mean, have great memories of
Speaker 1: Christmas because it was the same thing every year. And
Speaker 1: so would your parents come in for if you if
Speaker 1: you meet Christmas in your in your home, would your
Speaker 1: parents come in for that? Or that won't work because
Speaker 1: there are other siblings And yeah, right now, no, because
Speaker 1: there's other siblings of a younger brother that's you know,
Speaker 1: finishing up high school, of her sister that lives a
Speaker 1: state a state away, and and your mom likes to
Speaker 1: have you know, she likes to keep everybody together, which
Speaker 1: is amazing. It's a great it's a great thing that
Speaker 1: she wants to try to have everyone. Yeah, it's one
Speaker 1: of those things where I want to start our tradition
Speaker 1: at home too. But all I'm saying is eventually, like
Speaker 1: it would be cool for the kids to be like, hey,
Speaker 1: we're going to Grandma Grandpa's this year for for Christmas.
Speaker 1: You know, it's true. When you when you when you want,
Speaker 1: I will tell you it's a wonderful families to have
Speaker 1: their own traditions, and a tradition doesn't necessarily depend on
Speaker 1: exactly where you are and there's obviously you can build
Speaker 1: in other things like we always it doesn't have to
Speaker 1: be like it's here. Um, we always open things this way.
Speaker 1: We always have whatever popcorn around our tree. We always
Speaker 1: have whatever it is that you could make up that
Speaker 1: could have to do with decorating, baking, But you know,
Speaker 1: it's just about anything, um but building it picking picking
Speaker 1: a few things that you feel like you're in a
Speaker 1: year out you'd like to include. Um, it's definitely a
Speaker 1: nice thing and does build those childhood memories and stealing
Speaker 1: a connection of home. Um, but home being your family,
Speaker 1: your nuclear family, and so your nuclear family doesn't have
Speaker 1: to be in your house per se, but it could be.
Speaker 1: You know, we always go to this place and that
Speaker 1: is our family. I want it to be in our house.
Speaker 1: So the thing is I was going to say, so
Speaker 1: the question is, you know, what do each of you
Speaker 1: have to come, you know, together and say I think
Speaker 1: the three most important things to me about you know,
Speaker 1: forming our our nuclear tradition would be ABC. Hopefully you
Speaker 1: have some that overlap those obviously rise to the top
Speaker 1: of the list, and the ones that don't that are different,
Speaker 1: Why do you want them? Why are they important to you? Um,
Speaker 1: what kind of compromises can be made if we do
Speaker 1: like the day after Christmas we travel the day after
Speaker 1: Christmas to go there, or like does it have to
Speaker 1: be for Christmas for you? I don't know. I mean
Speaker 1: that's something that again we know that obviously this Christmas
Speaker 1: were here. Next Christmas will be our first new house
Speaker 1: and Nashville, so we're going to be there and then
Speaker 1: what happens after that, who knows, We'll figure it out,
Speaker 1: but we know the next time. I want to know now,
Speaker 1: So that's going to say. So one thing I hear
Speaker 1: you're saying, right, Jann, is like you're like, I want
Speaker 1: to know just will always be and you know, you
Speaker 1: know that that is fueled by the feeling that you
Speaker 1: never knew where you were going to be exactly. And
Speaker 1: that's where I'm like, I almost want to cry because
Speaker 1: it's like I already feel that anxiety of being like
Speaker 1: pulled on the holiday, and it's like what you have
Speaker 1: to remember is that something that's fueled by a trauma
Speaker 1: of the past can make it feel like that's really
Speaker 1: dire in the current or disaster will happen, and for
Speaker 1: you as a child, that wasn't disaster your parents divorced,
Speaker 1: and you know, if that felt disastrous, But that anxiety
Speaker 1: isn't necessarily rooted in the reality of today, right, it's
Speaker 1: from It's from before, and you're putting it on today.
Speaker 1: And if Mike understands the importance of continuity and he
Speaker 1: feels the same way, he wants traditions too, and he
Speaker 1: wants continuity with his family. Two, he wants all the
Speaker 1: same things. Um, you will feel less anxious if you're
Speaker 1: able to say to yourself some level of um, hey,
Speaker 1: this is about what did happen to me, not what's
Speaker 1: going to happen to me. But here's here's the problem.
Speaker 1: I totally hear you. But what I hear when Mike
Speaker 1: said what he said was that we're doing Christmas. And
Speaker 1: you know, because we're living in l A right now,
Speaker 1: we're going to have Christmas in our house in Nashville.
Speaker 1: But after that, when he says that, we'll see in
Speaker 1: my brain what he just said to me is every
Speaker 1: year after that will be in Virginia. No, not at all.
Speaker 1: But that's what I I'm just saying, like, and I
Speaker 1: know that's not what you say. I'm just saying what
Speaker 1: I heard. And that's where my anxiety was like, but
Speaker 1: I need you to tell me that then every year
Speaker 1: and then maybe one of those years will go like
Speaker 1: that's here's here's what when. So when you're having this
Speaker 1: kind of conversation, right, do you want to say what
Speaker 1: you what you said, and then you want the other
Speaker 1: person to be able to say, I heard this because
Speaker 1: just what happened just now. This is more about a
Speaker 1: couple of therapy. But actually a couple of therapy is
Speaker 1: really like the most important one. You've just had a child.
Speaker 1: That's like because it brings up all these things from
Speaker 1: your own childhood. When you have a child, you hearkened
Speaker 1: back to all those childhood things for yourself, how you
Speaker 1: want to be the same, how you want it to
Speaker 1: be different, etcetera. And what you're nervous about. But you
Speaker 1: heard might say something you didn't say right now, yeah,
Speaker 1: when you can tell him that's what I heard, and
Speaker 1: he says, but that's not what I mean. What I
Speaker 1: mean is it's it's hard to know exactly for the
Speaker 1: next one a year, exactly where we'll spend every Christmas.
Speaker 1: But I also want, you know, continuity, instability and etcetera, etcetera,
Speaker 1: And definitely some of our Christmases will for sure be
Speaker 1: at home, but I want, especially with my parents, that
Speaker 1: what you want, I know. I'm like, I'm having anxiety
Speaker 1: with Yeah, I think it's what you want. Some of
Speaker 1: the Christmas to be home, or I want majority of
Speaker 1: them to be at our our home. And then every
Speaker 1: other year, every every time years. I don't know as
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, I don't know. I'm just I don't know.
Speaker 1: We have to discuss it. But I'm saying we're discussing
Speaker 1: you right now is eventually my parents are going to
Speaker 1: move out of the house there and they're going to downsize,
Speaker 1: and then we then we won't be going back. And
Speaker 1: as the kids get older, I definitely don't want to
Speaker 1: travel with them, And I don't want to travel the
Speaker 1: day after Christmas because I don't want to have the
Speaker 1: anxiety of our kids. We're leaving tomorrow, like on Christmas Day,
Speaker 1: we gotta pack and leave tomorrow for Grandma Grandpa's right,
Speaker 1: But then we're spending all this money shipping everything back
Speaker 1: and I don't I just I don't want to. I
Speaker 1: don't want to do it every of the year. I'm saying,
Speaker 1: I just don't want to do that. But you just said,
Speaker 1: like that's what you were thinking, and I don't want
Speaker 1: that either. I'm just throwing that Jesus Christ. Okay, So
Speaker 1: this could be a very productive conversation if you each
Speaker 1: give the other a little more time to say, so
Speaker 1: what you're feeling. So like Jenna saying I would really
Speaker 1: want to feel that most of our Christmas is would
Speaker 1: be in our home, and Mike is actually saying the
Speaker 1: same thing. Doesn't want to be nailed to the wall
Speaker 1: on it, because why Mike, what what do you feel
Speaker 1: nervous about? Um? I just I don't see why we're
Speaker 1: three years out from us even potentially going back. I
Speaker 1: don't we might not ever go back. Who knows, we
Speaker 1: have like, we don't know what in three years what
Speaker 1: things are going to look like. And maybe we're just
Speaker 1: both you know what, We're just gonna have Christmas here? Sorry, sorry,
Speaker 1: you know, sorry, guys, if you guys want to have
Speaker 1: Christmas like, we would love to have you down here,
Speaker 1: and we have plenty of room. Maybe this could be
Speaker 1: our tradition. It sounds to me like Mike is more
Speaker 1: concerned with feeling that he doesn't have to make a
Speaker 1: promise that is iron tight, but that do you feel
Speaker 1: also like most of your Christmas is do you want
Speaker 1: to be in your home? Yes, but you don't know
Speaker 1: like your parents could move, they could not move. They
Speaker 1: could in the next three years. So much is going
Speaker 1: to change with Jane and I career wise, with with
Speaker 1: my family back east, with what they're doing, with my
Speaker 1: brother going to large of my parents potentially downsizing because
Speaker 1: you know they're going to have a mike. You're speaking
Speaker 1: of objectives, possible facts, and uncertainty and Canna, who has
Speaker 1: come from an uncertain background and is week's postpartum in
Speaker 1: what I am, and and newborns bring uncertainty of the
Speaker 1: wazoo with them, like right every day is uncertain who
Speaker 1: knows what's you know, like the baby will be await,
Speaker 1: the baby asleep, but poop it won't it be it
Speaker 1: won't it? And so she's at a time where it's
Speaker 1: particularly hard to manage uncertainty. And maybe it's not even
Speaker 1: her foretake even what has happened in her past um
Speaker 1: for really, what you guys are talking about in terms
Speaker 1: of factual stuff, you're not really on a different page.
Speaker 1: It's the it's the emotional, the valance of do I
Speaker 1: get certainty or don't I right? And it's the verbage
Speaker 1: and vernacular that isn't matching up with what Jana wants
Speaker 1: to hear. But the concept is like I can't breathe
Speaker 1: when you said every other Christmas, Like it makes me
Speaker 1: have so much anxiety thinking about that. So what you
Speaker 1: have to know, Janna, is that he is not saying
Speaker 1: it will be but he said those words, but he
Speaker 1: also said the words, maybe every Christmas will be at
Speaker 1: our house. Yes, we'll say that. What am I supposed
Speaker 1: to do with that? Then when I hear one thing
Speaker 1: and then I hear another thing because he's telling you
Speaker 1: that he what he's really saying is I can't predict
Speaker 1: the future. But basically, I want most of our Christmas
Speaker 1: Is to be home, but I also want to acknowledge
Speaker 1: the fact that there is uncertainty in life in the future.
Speaker 1: That's where he's coming from. It feels to me that
Speaker 1: you want either one of two things. You want me
Speaker 1: to say every Christmas is gonna be at our house
Speaker 1: or tell you exactly what you were going to go
Speaker 1: back to Gene. When I'm all I'm saying is we
Speaker 1: don't know. Don't ask me three years out. I'm giving
Speaker 1: you both responses because I'm like, I don't know what's
Speaker 1: going to happen, Like Dr Mike, Mike, would it be
Speaker 1: hard for you to just say to Jenna, Um, I'm
Speaker 1: listening to you. Do you want to know that we're
Speaker 1: building tradition and tradition in our home and that most
Speaker 1: of the time Christmas will be at our home with
Speaker 1: our traditions. Do you that? Yes? I do, but know
Speaker 1: in Janna as well as I do, because she is
Speaker 1: my lovely wife, she always takes it a step lower
Speaker 1: where if I say that, then she's like, that's but
Speaker 1: how many years? Most of the time, No, that's not true.
Speaker 1: That is absolutely true, because when you said those two
Speaker 1: things to me right there, I said no and no.
Speaker 1: What I would have, what I would hear is if
Speaker 1: you said just what Gayle said the majority of the time,
Speaker 1: I want us to do, but it would be nice
Speaker 1: every once in a while or every you know, again,
Speaker 1: don't give me a year, but just maybe you know,
Speaker 1: I don't even know the right verbage just because you're
Speaker 1: you're very hung up on a promise of the details
Speaker 1: and what I'm saying. What I'm saying is um, it's
Speaker 1: in those promises of details in the future, which has
Speaker 1: to do all whenever you're talking so far out and
Speaker 1: you have and let's let's be real, right, you can't
Speaker 1: know that far out, So there's going to be a
Speaker 1: measure of uncertainty. People who are anxious, and Jenna has
Speaker 1: every reason you're just struggling with anxiety right now, really
Speaker 1: have difficulty with that. So what I'm saying too, is, Jenna,
Speaker 1: when you get that surge that you're talking about in
Speaker 1: your body, that feeling of I've just heard that, you know,
Speaker 1: when you get that, you have to identify that for
Speaker 1: yourself as anxiety. That doesn't mean that what he's saying
Speaker 1: is really the problem you. It's you have anxiety and
Speaker 1: that kind of content of the uncertainty of the future
Speaker 1: is tripping it off. And I feel like, because you
Speaker 1: do hold on to exactly what I say, that if
Speaker 1: I give you an answer that I'm unprepared to give,
Speaker 1: just to either a peasy or whatever. And then the
Speaker 1: conversation comes up in a few years or next year,
Speaker 1: you're like, but you said that we would never go back,
Speaker 1: or you said that we go back not this year,
Speaker 1: but now you want to change it like I can't
Speaker 1: take you for your word because you said this, but
Speaker 1: now you're saying this. I understand your fear, but that's
Speaker 1: I'm I'm not going to do that. I just don't
Speaker 1: want to hear the what you said every other year.
Speaker 1: I just can we just say the majority of the time,
Speaker 1: but you'd love to go back sometime The majority of
Speaker 1: the time, Christmas will be at our house, but I
Speaker 1: would love to go back to Virginia at some point
Speaker 1: in time. Thank you, Gail working our Where can our
Speaker 1: listeners find you? Where can I find you and then
Speaker 1: read more about you and what you have to offer. Sure,
Speaker 1: I have a website www dot gail fat dot com.
Speaker 1: I tweet which is at Dr Gail sault um and
Speaker 1: EID one of those places they can ask me questions.
Speaker 1: They can find me um. I loved your fift people.
Speaker 1: I definitely try to if you tweet me and try
Speaker 1: to answer your questions the best I can. Well, you're
Speaker 1: the best, and you've saved Christmas in our household, So
Speaker 1: thank you. We really appreciate it. Give yourselves some TLC
Speaker 1: this month and and you'll see as as you move
Speaker 1: out of months. One things to get incrementally a little easier.
Speaker 1: All right, thank you really appreciate it. Guys. You know
Speaker 1: this is a perfect time of year for stamps dot
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Speaker 1: I dread more than going to the post office. And
Speaker 1: we even win a couple of weeks ago and it
Speaker 1: was the line was like out the door is ridiculous.
Speaker 1: We even went there thirty minutes early, your brother's package.
Speaker 1: Especially now that we have two kids. That means loading
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Speaker 1: You know, Christmas was a little bit easier this year
Speaker 1: to buy for all the males in our families, my dad,
Speaker 1: your brother, my brother, my dad. I think I think
Speaker 1: we even gave We even gave cousins presents just because
Speaker 1: we could and we had an idea for him. And
Speaker 1: it was super easy for you guys of Man Crates
Speaker 1: And as you guys have listened to me before we
Speaker 1: talk about it, I love it. By the way, someone
Speaker 1: um instagram me the other day and said, because of
Speaker 1: Mike's excitement, like I got a man create from a
Speaker 1: husband because he was that excited, And I, oh, no,
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Speaker 1: own chef knife, Zombie Apocalypse, which is a fan favorite
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Speaker 1: everything you can think of. It's really cool too because
Speaker 1: they're sealed in a wooden crate with a crowbar. So
Speaker 1: Michael I was like, do you feel like a man
Speaker 1: hunting put that crow bar? I was actually feeling less
Speaker 1: of a man for a while because one of them
Speaker 1: took me like forty minutes open. I was having a
Speaker 1: tough time. They extra superglued that one. But part of
Speaker 1: that was still part of the novelty in the process.
Speaker 1: It was. It was a lot of and I enjoy it.
Speaker 1: I know all of our all the male family members
Speaker 1: and our families are gonna love it. Um. It was
Speaker 1: a no brainer. There's one for everyone that we could
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Speaker 1: only for the holidays. By one gift and get the
Speaker 1: second at man Creates dot Com slash Wine again that's
Speaker 1: man creates dot com slash wine. All right, so Michael
Speaker 1: and I are so excited because we have the beautiful
Speaker 1: Serena Vincent in studio. And you are so tiny for
Speaker 1: being ten weeks away from having a baby. Boy, you
Speaker 1: are so tiny for having the baby six days ago.
Speaker 1: So good. I like to say, I'm taller, So this
Speaker 1: is what my mom tells me. So there's more space
Speaker 1: for it to go. You look beautiful, you know, thank you.
Speaker 1: You look stunning, You're glowing. You and you're ten of
Speaker 1: weeks away. Yeah, I'm ten weeks so hate it's crazy
Speaker 1: or left eight weeks away. I'm thirty two weeks. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's amazing. I feel great. We were just talking about
Speaker 1: this outside. I feel great now. Um, how's the pregnancy
Speaker 1: been For the first fourteen and a half weeks? I
Speaker 1: had himesis. Yeah, I had to vomiting sickness, I was bedridden.
Speaker 1: So I got somehow I got through life, but I
Speaker 1: don't remember how. I don't need. Did you to get
Speaker 1: ivy s No? I didn't have no, so I was
Speaker 1: not as bad to you, but no, but still it sucks. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's really bad ful. Yeah, and I thought, um,
Speaker 1: when did your's end twenty two weeks? Oh my god? Okay,
Speaker 1: well so mine was mine was fourteen and a half week.
Speaker 1: But still that's it's awful, isn't it. It's awful. But
Speaker 1: it's gone now, it's gone. Now, yeah, it's totally gone.
Speaker 1: It's totally gone. And I can eat food and were
Speaker 1: you with everything was disgusting to you, right, and food
Speaker 1: of everything, everything everything. My husband's just like, okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: I have empathy for your boyfriend because that's I mean,
Speaker 1: an empathy for obviously you guys and you going through it,
Speaker 1: but no one talks about the guy on this end.
Speaker 1: But I have empathy because it's it's hard to see
Speaker 1: your significant other in pain like that and such discomforting
Speaker 1: for him to try to take care of you when
Speaker 1: you're feeling that missable. There's literally nothing that he can do.
Speaker 1: He actually had a broken leg at the time, so
Speaker 1: we were just like this disgusting mess. Like we were
Speaker 1: this disgusting mess just on the couch, like like I
Speaker 1: was puking and I was like trying to help him,
Speaker 1: but like I couldn't make him food because it was
Speaker 1: just it was it was crazy, and we like postmate
Speaker 1: something and then like I tried to eat it and
Speaker 1: then throw it up, and it was just it's just
Speaker 1: so crazy how you forget the feeling because now I
Speaker 1: don't even remember what that feels. No, I know, I
Speaker 1: don't even remember how, you know what I realized what
Speaker 1: I didn't do anything that was like fit fourteen a
Speaker 1: half weeks like, I didn't. After I got through it,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, there's like a weird stock of
Speaker 1: mail here that I didn't see. We're being evicted from see. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So Serena and I were just talking about the fact
Speaker 1: that she you're doing a doula, so you're like a
Speaker 1: birthing like in a bath So I'm having my Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm having a natural birth as long as everything is
Speaker 1: healthy and continues to be healthy, goes well. So you know,
Speaker 1: so that means no up, no, but Gerald, no, you're
Speaker 1: not in a hospital. So I could have my midwife
Speaker 1: come to my house and and Dola, they could come
Speaker 1: to your house, or you can choose to do it
Speaker 1: at a birthing center, which is basically you just you
Speaker 1: just go to their office and they have a bathtub
Speaker 1: in a bedroom, in a bed, and you're The cool
Speaker 1: thing is is that everything. If everything goes you know, well, um,
Speaker 1: you you're not strapped table, so you're free to labor,
Speaker 1: moving around and um, eat and drink. You don't have
Speaker 1: to have an IV you can really, um, you can
Speaker 1: have all the lights, all your music on, like like
Speaker 1: your your hero. No, see, I don't think that at all.
Speaker 1: Like I disagree because I knocking wood, you're so strong.
Speaker 1: I've never be the epidure, even though it made me crazy.
Speaker 1: But no, I've never knocking We been in the hospital.
Speaker 1: Have only been the hospital to like to take care
Speaker 1: of sick people and family or whatever. So I may
Speaker 1: to tell you what a contraction feels like. It's like
Speaker 1: someone stabbing you in the stomach, think with a really
Speaker 1: sharp knife. Okay, okay, it's right. What if God God
Speaker 1: forbid anything negative does start to occur? What's the plan
Speaker 1: if you need Okay? So never the couple that right
Speaker 1: before they were doing a home birth, because they walked
Speaker 1: in and she said, and he goes, are you guys,
Speaker 1: But I didn't say, I have a schedule C section,
Speaker 1: And then he goes, we try to home birth. The
Speaker 1: couple of that were right in front of us and
Speaker 1: we were going to the hospital. But they ended up
Speaker 1: at the hospital because I think I think she labored
Speaker 1: too long, is what he had said. That can happen, Um,
Speaker 1: that that can happen. Um. So right. So, but but
Speaker 1: there's as you know, there's like time in labor to
Speaker 1: be like, Okay, this isn't going. You know, this isn't
Speaker 1: going how we wanted to go. You're not progressing or whatever,
Speaker 1: and now we need to do these other things. This woman,
Speaker 1: it's the Natural First Center and UM and right across
Speaker 1: the street from Theaters and the midwife. Her name is Simona.
Speaker 1: She's amazing and she's delivered over ten thou babies and
Speaker 1: all of her grandkids and she's amazing. I just I
Speaker 1: envy you because I have so much anxiety that that
Speaker 1: would bring a total crazy amount of anxiety to do that.
Speaker 1: But it's just I wish I could do that. I
Speaker 1: wish I could have your just it's going to be beautiful.
Speaker 1: And but see, like we all have anxiety, right, It's
Speaker 1: like my anxiety is the hospital. I started off exaters
Speaker 1: with with an obie and I would I was like
Speaker 1: in the elevators getting like I would get nervous when
Speaker 1: I was there, and I didn't like it, and I
Speaker 1: was like, why do I know all this stuff? And
Speaker 1: like why do I have I have duelas and midwives
Speaker 1: and my family, Like why why am I not doing
Speaker 1: what I want to do? And then I just like
Speaker 1: laid in bed one night and like went on YELP
Speaker 1: and found this place and I'm so happy that I
Speaker 1: that I did. And we were doing like this like
Speaker 1: hypno birth thing classes and it is sort of like
Speaker 1: it does feel like very The kind of hypno birth
Speaker 1: thing is that birth is an extension of your sexuality
Speaker 1: and of the connection between the two of you, and
Speaker 1: how how you made your baby is how you're going
Speaker 1: to get your baby out, so you can because sex
Speaker 1: doesn't douce labor. Oh my god. So I don't know
Speaker 1: if that will be happening. We'll see. You're like me,
Speaker 1: not like active labor, but like like like having like
Speaker 1: sax and like the baby like not an active labor,
Speaker 1: but like so it's supposed to be helpful to induce
Speaker 1: a natural way to induce. So this baby is a miracle,
Speaker 1: though I think I believe. I mean, so I were
Speaker 1: told that you couldn't have kids, yes, so this is interesting. Um,
Speaker 1: it was the same and bless her. She's a wonderful doctor.
Speaker 1: But um, doctors don't know awesome. So I was going
Speaker 1: through a divorce. Sorry, I was going through a divorce,
Speaker 1: and but two sides said sorry, question mark, like we're
Speaker 1: happy that you're You're good. Yeah, taking you back in
Speaker 1: the story. I was going through a divorce and I
Speaker 1: just thought, maybe I should like do that test to
Speaker 1: see what your numbers are, to see what your levels are,
Speaker 1: to see if you can get old. Were you at
Speaker 1: the time MT seven? Um, they're six or seven? And
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm fine, I can get pregnant in
Speaker 1: two seconds. And I did that. I took the test,
Speaker 1: and then I was on the pilot. I was shooting
Speaker 1: the pilot of a Disney show that I just that
Speaker 1: we just wrapped stuck in the middle where I play
Speaker 1: a mom of seven kids. Oh my gosh, and so
Speaker 1: the first time I've ever been able to play a
Speaker 1: mom at all. And then the role was like really
Speaker 1: special to me. So I'm on the side of the pilot.
Speaker 1: It's lunchtime, and my doctor calls and she said, um,
Speaker 1: we got your tests back. We need to aggressively try
Speaker 1: to get you pregnant right now or you need to
Speaker 1: freeze your eggs because you probably won't be able to
Speaker 1: have kids in the next year too because of your eggcount,
Speaker 1: because because of yeah, the numbers and your fs F
Speaker 1: s H levels and all that stuff. And I was like, aggressively,
Speaker 1: try to get me pregnant right now with who? And so,
Speaker 1: you know, at the time, I was like I wasn't
Speaker 1: fully divorced, but we had been severy long enough that
Speaker 1: you know, I was dating, and it's like I'm just
Speaker 1: supposed to like pick somebody, you know, and now, and
Speaker 1: then you turn into the crazy lady. It's like iraduating
Speaker 1: you know, friend in dating, you know, And it really
Speaker 1: messed with my head. So I went to UM. She
Speaker 1: referred me to a fertility clinic, and I went through
Speaker 1: this whole process, and I went to these seminars and
Speaker 1: I went to this doctor and they they give you this,
Speaker 1: they give you that, and they do a transvaginal you know,
Speaker 1: ultrasound and then you know, on a certain day of
Speaker 1: your cycle and count how many follicles you have. And
Speaker 1: then then he was like, yeah, you these are your numbers.
Speaker 1: This is what this is. You're probably not going to
Speaker 1: be able to conceive naturally. This is what you need
Speaker 1: to do. You need to freeze your eggs. And then
Speaker 1: I realized I learned that freezing an egg has only
Speaker 1: an eleven percent chance of becoming a baby. We've done
Speaker 1: IVF twice, so you know all these things, but I
Speaker 1: didn't know that fact though, So say that again. So
Speaker 1: freezing an eggs only only has an eleven percent chance
Speaker 1: of being a baby. Freezing an embryo, which is what
Speaker 1: you did, has a lot. There's a lot of success there.
Speaker 1: So I was like, what it didn't work for us?
Speaker 1: Though it didn't. These are both that you end up
Speaker 1: getting after both babies came out a month after. If
Speaker 1: that's miracles, I don't know if I needed like some
Speaker 1: of the medicines from but continue, Oh my god, that's beautiful.
Speaker 1: Well it's very it's the same, it's like the same story.
Speaker 1: Um so I well then I then then I was
Speaker 1: like that statistically doesn't make sense, and they said, you're right,
Speaker 1: Um then you should. You should. Your your odds are
Speaker 1: better if you freeze an embryo, and like, well, like
Speaker 1: when I need sperm for that? And he literally handed
Speaker 1: me a bind durst and I like that's broke down
Speaker 1: into yours. And I was like, like, like a romantic
Speaker 1: not nothing against that. Open it. You didn't push it
Speaker 1: right back. I would love to see that there be
Speaker 1: like h that guy. Yeah we could and there are
Speaker 1: a lot of women to do this, and obviously it's
Speaker 1: a beautiful thing and it works for many people. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but where just who I am and where I was
Speaker 1: at the time, it broke my heart and well to
Speaker 1: be especially because you want to be a mother, so
Speaker 1: you're told that you can't be mother. It's like there's
Speaker 1: so many women out there, they don't even want to
Speaker 1: be moms. I have kids and we're like I want
Speaker 1: to be a mother, Like I'm my purpose on life
Speaker 1: is to be a mother, and that you're told no,
Speaker 1: it's like it's that's heartbreaking, right, And then which was
Speaker 1: And it's also like you know, hundreds of thousands of
Speaker 1: dollars and all of this stuff. And I was like
Speaker 1: at the time, I was like I said, I was
Speaker 1: going through a divorce and I was, which makes it
Speaker 1: I was sort of like the setting my whole life
Speaker 1: and like I feel like the universe, God, whatever you
Speaker 1: wanna call I was like, all right, we're going to
Speaker 1: take everything away from you. Until you get divorced and
Speaker 1: then we'll put it all back together. So like I was,
Speaker 1: I was doing the pilot for Stuck in the Medal,
Speaker 1: but I didn't know if it was going to get
Speaker 1: picked up. I was waiting tables. I was like back
Speaker 1: waiting tables. I was like waiting on Jamie Pressley, who
Speaker 1: I was in not another team movie with. And that's
Speaker 1: a real story. And this is the first time I've
Speaker 1: said this on It's so cool. On. I was, you know,
Speaker 1: I was still working, but I was like trying to
Speaker 1: keep my life together. So I was like, this isn't
Speaker 1: this isn't going to work. This is I can't I'm
Speaker 1: not freezing and every I'm not freezing as I can't
Speaker 1: afford it. I can't. I'm just, um, I'm just going
Speaker 1: to choose to not believe that this is even real.
Speaker 1: And I I sort of battled that um And for
Speaker 1: the next few years it did make dating and that
Speaker 1: tricky because I had this fear in me um that
Speaker 1: one and the countdown too, like ever going to be
Speaker 1: a mom Yeah, So UM, I just sort of like
Speaker 1: let it go and I wanted to try UM with
Speaker 1: my boyfriend. Now. I was like, how long have you
Speaker 1: been with your boyfriend? We've been together, Um, one day.
Speaker 1: It's um, it's a long, complicated story. But love company here.
Speaker 1: That's a whole long story. Yeah, it's it's a it's
Speaker 1: a good story. Is gonna get married? Um? Probably yeah,
Speaker 1: but I feel like it all there's so much happening that, like,
Speaker 1: and having been married, I don't feel like I need
Speaker 1: to do that before we have the baby. Also, like,
Speaker 1: so you guys were actively trying that we were not
Speaker 1: not trying. Yeah, And then I was like, I want
Speaker 1: to try to have a baby and he was like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, we just hadn't gotten there yet. And um
Speaker 1: my show ended and um we went to Italy for
Speaker 1: five days and I made a wish in the Trevy
Speaker 1: Fountain room. Stop you want to get pregnant? Fled a row.
Speaker 1: I ate a ton of pasta, and why, like the
Speaker 1: time of our lives and pregnant? Did you the whole time?
Speaker 1: Did you mentally, even with all these hurdles medically in
Speaker 1: front of you, did you just still just believe that
Speaker 1: it was possible? I didn't, Like, I just like made
Speaker 1: a very clear decision that I am not going to
Speaker 1: believe that I can't get pregnant naturally until I actively
Speaker 1: try and and then I've since heard many a lot
Speaker 1: of stories of women that are around the same age
Speaker 1: seven that their doctors are scaring them and telling them
Speaker 1: they might not be able to get pregnant, and then
Speaker 1: they go through all of this stuff and it's like
Speaker 1: they haven't even tried. Well. I will say, though, to
Speaker 1: act as a medical people, they they after thirty five,
Speaker 1: I mean, your number does diminish huge. Like my girlfriend
Speaker 1: was going to freeze your eggs. She went in at
Speaker 1: thirty four, she had, you know, a plenty of eggs.
Speaker 1: She went back thirty five and a half, she had
Speaker 1: like six eggs and there wasn't no point to free
Speaker 1: because they're going to be gone, so I mean almost nothing.
Speaker 1: So it's just drastically dropped. So that's why I you know,
Speaker 1: But at the same time, again, if you just never know.
Speaker 1: But I mean, look what happened. That's some miracles of
Speaker 1: childbirth and life in itself. I just but I loved
Speaker 1: and you hate the playing god thing too, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: but I love Serena's your optimism and decision to not
Speaker 1: believe that yet even though you were told. I still
Speaker 1: think the mind is a powerful thing if you just
Speaker 1: if you're optimistic. Now, if you just sit there and
Speaker 1: not proactive and just believe, oh, this will happen to me,
Speaker 1: you still got to do something about it. But the
Speaker 1: fact that you actively try with your boyfriend, you're optimistic
Speaker 1: that you weren't going to let the door shut on you.
Speaker 1: I think there's something to be said for that. I
Speaker 1: love that. I love that aspect of Sure. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: a great way to obviously see things, especially because most
Speaker 1: of them would be like the stress put so much
Speaker 1: stress themselves. Then you can't get pregnant because you're stressed.
Speaker 1: To me, if you're thinking the whole time, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna be able to get pregn I'm not gonna be
Speaker 1: able to get pregnant, then you're just telling yourself your
Speaker 1: body is not going to react. If you're it's so
Speaker 1: much easier done. No, I believe that. But but it's
Speaker 1: more than just that. It's in life in general, with
Speaker 1: things you want to accomplish or whatever. It's things that
Speaker 1: you want to do in your life. If you're just
Speaker 1: if you sit there and doubt yourself the entire time,
Speaker 1: of course, nothing's going to happen. You doubt yourself. I
Speaker 1: totally I totally agree. Yeah, you're putting like you're sending
Speaker 1: conflicting messages out there. I want to try to get pregnant,
Speaker 1: but I don't think I can, you know, And I
Speaker 1: tried to. I did battle it and like it was
Speaker 1: like it was it's a battle. And then I came
Speaker 1: to the decision if I can't get pregnant naturally, then
Speaker 1: then that's okay. And then I got there. Then I
Speaker 1: get to be a mother in like this different way.
Speaker 1: Like I've got kids from all over the world that
Speaker 1: are like I wish you were my mom, you know,
Speaker 1: in like all different countries and languages and everything, just
Speaker 1: being a TV mom and um, I have a huge family,
Speaker 1: and I you know, there's there is um there is
Speaker 1: no limit on like the love we have or the
Speaker 1: love we can give. And look at you now anyway, Letty,
Speaker 1: you're ten weeks away from having a baby boy, so exciting.
Speaker 1: Are you and your boyfriend lived together? Yes? Okay, yes,
Speaker 1: you have names like going back and forth. We're going
Speaker 1: back and forth. So I don't want to say my mind.
Speaker 1: What do you name your baby boy? His name is
Speaker 1: Jason Ja. It means healing, He's been very healing for us. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's fantastic. We do have two babies. We have a
Speaker 1: three almost three year old little girl, the three year
Speaker 1: little girl. So did IVF and then it didn't take.
Speaker 1: It didn't take, and then the next month got pregnant
Speaker 1: with Jolie. Did IVF again because we had an embryo
Speaker 1: leftover from the first round, and we got pregnant. But
Speaker 1: every time I would get pregnant, I got. I got
Speaker 1: pregnant both times with the IVF, but then lost it
Speaker 1: very soon. It was chemical com so, but then the
Speaker 1: next month I'd get pregnant. Yeah, so that extra little
Speaker 1: dose of hormone or whatever. Then, yeah, I did. Being
Speaker 1: on Stuck in the Middle, which has been a hit show,
Speaker 1: you and for Disney. Being on that, did that, you know,
Speaker 1: increase your urge to want to be a mom or
Speaker 1: is it were you the same like you always wanted
Speaker 1: to be a mom no matter what, Or is just
Speaker 1: being that mom role and being around kids where you like,
Speaker 1: I have to be a mom. I've always wanted to
Speaker 1: be a mom since I was a baby. You know,
Speaker 1: since I was a baby, I wanted a baby. Um um.
Speaker 1: Being on that show, I had no idea like how
Speaker 1: trans it was transformative. It really was like I really
Speaker 1: like I love those kids. I still love them and
Speaker 1: they and like we weirdly feel like a family. And
Speaker 1: so it didn't necessarily want to make me want them
Speaker 1: even more. It just, um it filled my heart in
Speaker 1: like this other way that I didn't realize could happen.
Speaker 1: Um at a job, you know. Um so and all
Speaker 1: the kids were like you have to be a mom,
Speaker 1: like you have to give the best. Yeah. And then
Speaker 1: you like hear the needs you know from the doctor,
Speaker 1: and you're like it was a weird thing. And then
Speaker 1: they all call me mom, like on set it was
Speaker 1: a weird moment in my life that I was shooting
Speaker 1: this pilot and they were like mom, mom, And my
Speaker 1: Dactor's like, you know, yeah we did three seasons. Seasons
Speaker 1: that's awesome. Yeah. Um this little guy I know. At
Speaker 1: all time, I'm like I can't really audition right now
Speaker 1: because I got I had a baby, Yeah all right,
Speaker 1: I have a baby in my billy. So um, I
Speaker 1: was hiding and quite a few auditions after the show wrapped,
Speaker 1: and I was like pinned for like all these different things,
Speaker 1: and then it just came down to It was like, wow,
Speaker 1: I can't really you know, you know, I was just
Speaker 1: do a movie in Thailand and November and that's not
Speaker 1: that's not. So what's your biggest issue with your boyfriend?
Speaker 1: Because we like to talk about our issues on the show.
Speaker 1: So what do you what do you guys usually fight
Speaker 1: about the most? I wish he was here because we
Speaker 1: just we just got into an argument about the holidays,
Speaker 1: um with a therapist on the line before you came in.
Speaker 1: So interesting. UM, but I'm curious, Well, tell us that
Speaker 1: you guys fight too. Oh yeah, we had. We had
Speaker 1: a holiday fight. Yeah. Yeah, his families in Oregon, and um,
Speaker 1: our plan was to go up there, drive up there.
Speaker 1: It's like ten twelve hours for Thanksgiving, and I was
Speaker 1: cooking and all of these things, and he was like
Speaker 1: leading up to it, I was like, okay, all right,
Speaker 1: so we have to like figure all this out right,
Speaker 1: like like what like we need to make sure that
Speaker 1: we can get like the turkey that I want, which
Speaker 1: is like an organic whatever turkey and in this small town,
Speaker 1: like we're gonna get and like and we need to
Speaker 1: pack this and that we don't have all of the
Speaker 1: things to make things giving to we need to like
Speaker 1: pack like a platter, and like you're trying to per
Speaker 1: and like I'm trying to like and he's just like
Speaker 1: to do like on another like not and and at
Speaker 1: one point a couple of times he was like, oh god,
Speaker 1: I don't even want to go up there. We had
Speaker 1: to go up there for something else, and then like
Speaker 1: that didn't happen, and and then he was sort of
Speaker 1: like he said a few times, he's like I don't
Speaker 1: even really want to go. I think I want to
Speaker 1: drive to all hours. Pregnant, right and cooked your family
Speaker 1: figure all this out? So you are you are frustrated
Speaker 1: that he wasn't being president, and he also wasn't being
Speaker 1: helpful with it. Was like the night before and we
Speaker 1: had to go to some work event and it was
Speaker 1: midnight the night before we were leaving and we weren't packed.
Speaker 1: All this stuff wasn't figured out, nothing was organized, and
Speaker 1: and I was like, let's go to bed, and he
Speaker 1: was like no, I thought we'd watch and I was like,
Speaker 1: we're not watching anything, no wet And it was fine,
Speaker 1: but I was like, nothing that's done, and I've been
Speaker 1: thinking about it. Where are you thinking about it? This
Speaker 1: is your family, Like you have to help me think
Speaker 1: about these things, like we're you know, I can't even
Speaker 1: get the platter down from up there. Yeah, when are
Speaker 1: you going to do it? I think that's a man thing.
Speaker 1: Men just don't. Well, I'll say you're a really great planner,
Speaker 1: But I feel I feel as if sometimes guys don't
Speaker 1: have the because we're we're ten steps ahead of them,
Speaker 1: you know, so they don't have the Your timelines are
Speaker 1: usually sooner than ours. Granted the night before he should
Speaker 1: have been like, all right, let's let's grant out. He's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I can pack in twenty minutes. I said, well, I
Speaker 1: can't pack into it. I also like, I've had this
Speaker 1: weird like pelvis hip issue, so it's so much better today,
Speaker 1: and um, but I've had to see a chiropractor throughout
Speaker 1: my pregnancy, and there have been weeks where I can't
Speaker 1: walk at all and I've been limping and and it's
Speaker 1: very painful. And this was one of those weeks were
Speaker 1: like I couldn't, Like I literally couldn't been down, couldn't. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was like, well, I'm glad that you can pack
Speaker 1: in twenty minutes. Yeah, but I can't move. I can't,
Speaker 1: so who's packing my bag. So for the baby, you
Speaker 1: don't have to set some real good boundaries with us.
Speaker 1: And you know what I did with Mike. I'll say
Speaker 1: I'll give him a list, and I'll say this by
Speaker 1: tuesday or by next week. You know, certain things I
Speaker 1: need him to get done around the house because I
Speaker 1: have because if not, I would get them all done today.
Speaker 1: But again I don't, or I'd get mad at him
Speaker 1: if he doesn't do it today. But if there's a
Speaker 1: timeline in my head where I said, okay, you break
Speaker 1: down the boxes by the end of the month, he's great,
Speaker 1: you know, So at least he gets a timeline too,
Speaker 1: and then I don't get frustrated that they're not done yesterday, right,
Speaker 1: even though I would have done a yesterday. Yeah, yes,
Speaker 1: you know, we can't. We actually can't do everything. And
Speaker 1: brought up an interesting topic on the following week's show,
Speaker 1: I'm so curious about your fight. I brought up the
Speaker 1: concept of why don't men ever give their wives honey
Speaker 1: to do with? And I amost slap him, yeah, and
Speaker 1: she kind of like, are you Yeah, So I kind
Speaker 1: of lost that cute because you'll you'll find out, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you'll find out that when you have the baby, your
Speaker 1: your husband's never gonna change out the clothes, but that
Speaker 1: they overgrew, that they would overgrow or is that the
Speaker 1: right grew or I mean just any of those things.
Speaker 1: I mean we just we or the dentist or the
Speaker 1: appointments or you just we just do it, mean you
Speaker 1: just do them like yeah, but because we have the
Speaker 1: sense to like you don't have the urgency to do
Speaker 1: any of those things. Yeah, it's it's not that we
Speaker 1: don't think of them. It's just like your timeline that
Speaker 1: you just get it down before we Well, thank god,
Speaker 1: because Jason's nursery would have been you know, for example,
Speaker 1: I said, honey, would you like me to show you
Speaker 1: around Jason's nursery and let you know where all the
Speaker 1: things are. And he's like, I'll show you. He's like,
Speaker 1: all right, it's over here. Either I go, nope, that's
Speaker 1: actually not where the newborn are. Okay, something came in.
Speaker 1: Any time something came to the house, I had to
Speaker 1: go in the nursery. She'd get it, open the box,
Speaker 1: take up the tags, wash her clothes, put it because
Speaker 1: I don't want to do like five loads of of
Speaker 1: of laundry two weeks before the baby's it's smart. I
Speaker 1: guess who doesn't have a nursery yet? Yeah, yeah, it's
Speaker 1: your has and hasn't I mean your boyfriend hasn't not.
Speaker 1: Well that was another interesting conversation because I was like,
Speaker 1: at what point are we like, yeah, so no, he's
Speaker 1: now he's totally. He's like at home, like ripping out
Speaker 1: wires and like read moving things and like and and
Speaker 1: I was like, I want to paint. He was a
Speaker 1: brand to paint. I was like, there's this it's like
Speaker 1: ugly brown office colors and here he's like it's fine.
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, one's not fine. Yeah, I want to paint.
Speaker 1: Just need Yeah, we painted, and well that's it. We're
Speaker 1: getting the colors. It's like grays and navy and wood
Speaker 1: and Silver's are fun. They're really found excited. We're moving
Speaker 1: to Nashville and we're building a house there. So we're
Speaker 1: I'm so excited to Jay's room. When are you moving
Speaker 1: next year? Yeah, we're excited when there. Before we came
Speaker 1: out here, we're down here like two years and with
Speaker 1: a growing family, we want more space and we're like
Speaker 1: out here it's just too expensive. We're just like kids,
Speaker 1: and we're like, for you, I'm happy that you're you're moving.
Speaker 1: That's awesome. Thanks. Okay, so where can our listeners find
Speaker 1: you at? Serena Vincent on Twitter, Instagram, Twitter and Instagram
Speaker 1: above and yeah awesome. Yeah, well I'm We're so excited
Speaker 1: for you. Thank you, and please go on her on
Speaker 1: her little board socials and please wish her a happy,
Speaker 1: happy delivery. I hope it's cute. You don't have to
Speaker 1: go the hospital meat to you did not have any
Speaker 1: that's your yes. Yeah, so we'll see how it goes.
Speaker 1: That's thanks, Thank you guys. Beautiful Serena is so sweet.
Speaker 1: That was super sweet. Yeah, she's really sweet. We could
Speaker 1: have just sat here and talked for you know, she's
Speaker 1: so beautiful. I loved her perspective. It's I'm just envious
Speaker 1: of people that can have mentality. I'm even envious of Dean,
Speaker 1: like how Dean went away for three weeks to where
Speaker 1: did he go? Eastern when he went to Japan and
Speaker 1: most recently it isn't like South America South America. I
Speaker 1: am so envious the people that can just travel alone
Speaker 1: like that for for three weeks. You know how much
Speaker 1: anxiety I'd have the second I'd play I'm too far
Speaker 1: away from this someone. I don't know where to go.
Speaker 1: I mean, I just have such envy for people that
Speaker 1: can just go and you know, travel like that or
Speaker 1: do do a duala berthing and natural. I mean, I
Speaker 1: just like, wow, to have that anxiety free. But yet
Speaker 1: her anxiety is a hospital. I'm like, give me a hospital,
Speaker 1: like I got all the people take care of me, drugs,
Speaker 1: to me, what's wrong. But it's just it's so funny,
Speaker 1: like how some people's anxiety is is what causes some
Speaker 1: people to have anxiety, right exactly. It's people's triggers are
Speaker 1: different for everybody. Yeah, you know, by the way, you know,
Speaker 1: we're going home, we're gonna talk about Chris when we're
Speaker 1: out of the room. I said, hey, babe, are you
Speaker 1: really serious about every other year? And you're like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, we're three years away from that decision. And
Speaker 1: as you politely say, you said, we might not even
Speaker 1: be together. I was like, we might not even be together,
Speaker 1: so we don't have to worry about it now to we.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't even I don't know what to say.
Speaker 1: I literally do not know. I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm sure that's it's gonna be my answer. Can we
Speaker 1: wrap this show up? We have two kids? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: we have two kids. All right, that was fun. Thank
Speaker 1: you to Amazon fire TV. Head to www dot Amazon
Speaker 1: dot com slash wind down to order a fire TV
Speaker 1: of your very own. Hello Fresh, twenty dollars off your
Speaker 1: first three boxes. Visit Hello Fresh dot com slash Kramer
Speaker 1: sixty and enter Kramer sixty and thank you Brooke Lynning
Speaker 1: get twenty dollars off and free shipping if you use
Speaker 1: a promo code Janna. Thank you to stamps dot com.
Speaker 1: Get a four week trial plus postage and a digital
Speaker 1: scale without long term commitments. When you enter Janna and
Speaker 1: a big shout out and thank you to our friends
Speaker 1: at man Creates by one gift and you'll get the
Speaker 1: second gift for off when you go to man Creates
Speaker 1: dot com. Slash wine w h I n e um.
Speaker 1: We need to go home to our kids. Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: that's crazy. But also I want to see how you
Speaker 1: guys deal with the holidays, So please email us at
Speaker 1: Janna Kramer at I heart Media dot com. I want
Speaker 1: to see how you guys navigate the holidays as a family,
Speaker 1: couple of relationships and how you negotiate each other's needs
Speaker 1: and wants and expectations. He's the wife everything. Oh goodness, goodbye,
Speaker 1: have a good day. That's the way you're in the show.
Speaker 1: Eight