WEBVTT - She Failed Third Grade Twice. Then Everything Changed. 0:00:10.240 --> 0:00:14.160 And we returned to our American stories. Up next the 0:00:14.240 --> 0:00:18.320 story of Danishia Allen, a senior fellow at the American 0:00:18.440 --> 0:00:23.640 Federation for Children. Let's get into the story. Here's Denisha. 0:00:26.520 --> 0:00:27.400 All growing up. 0:00:27.880 --> 0:00:32.280 I remember being a little kid and seeing vibrants and 0:00:32.640 --> 0:00:39.720 hearing stories of how the community was excited and people 0:00:39.760 --> 0:00:43.240 were engaged and they knew one another. The east side 0:00:43.280 --> 0:00:46.360 of Jacksonville where I grew up, it's called the Urban Corus. 0:00:46.440 --> 0:00:51.000 Sits right along the Saint John's where the Jacksonville Jaguars play, 0:00:51.560 --> 0:00:55.080 so very close to where city life is. The baseball 0:00:55.160 --> 0:00:59.080 stadium is maybe like a couple blocks from there, and 0:00:59.360 --> 0:01:02.240 I remember or we would go to the to the 0:01:02.280 --> 0:01:04.959 football games. We would go to the back baseball games, 0:01:05.400 --> 0:01:08.759 not that we could afford it, but like community members 0:01:08.800 --> 0:01:12.679 would pass out stuff, there will be cookouts. People knew 0:01:12.680 --> 0:01:17.040 each other by name. It was a place where community 0:01:17.080 --> 0:01:22.000 members really thrived. My godmother, she would tell me stories like, oh, yeah, 0:01:22.600 --> 0:01:26.479 uncle Cox, he used to have a barber shop right here. 0:01:26.640 --> 0:01:30.440 Uh yeah, this place right here, which n Looking at 0:01:30.480 --> 0:01:32.320 the buildings, you would never think that it was a 0:01:32.360 --> 0:01:35.880 business of any sort because it was just an abandoned building. 0:01:35.959 --> 0:01:42.720 But there was this. 0:01:39.840 --> 0:01:43.240 This culture, and all of a sudden that stuff stopped. 0:01:43.440 --> 0:01:46.240 For top story tonight, that deadly shooting on the East 0:01:46.280 --> 0:01:49.400 Side area, nightclubs and bars are where law enforcement is 0:01:49.440 --> 0:01:51.600 finding a younger generation of people in possession of a 0:01:51.640 --> 0:01:59.120 new drug called n nd I meta pensylon hydrochloride. 0:02:00.240 --> 0:02:02.600 People stopped having those cookouts. 0:02:03.080 --> 0:02:07.720 Drug and alcohol abuse started to increase, and more people, 0:02:07.760 --> 0:02:10.239 instead of going to work, were just walking around the 0:02:10.320 --> 0:02:14.760 neighborhood aimlessly looking for where they can I guess, get 0:02:14.800 --> 0:02:20.200 their next hit. Gang violence increased, and my family was, uh, 0:02:20.440 --> 0:02:22.720 I'm assuming a part of that. I would walk around 0:02:22.760 --> 0:02:25.320 the neighborhood and people wouldn't know me, you know, they 0:02:25.320 --> 0:02:27.520 would say, oh, that's such and such a little daughter. 0:02:27.600 --> 0:02:29.800 You don't mess with the Merriweathers. They're gonna get you. 0:02:30.400 --> 0:02:33.320 I wore my last name Merriwether as a badge of 0:02:33.360 --> 0:02:36.480 honor because everybody knew who I was. Everybody knew my family, 0:02:37.000 --> 0:02:38.760 and I didn't think it was you know, I thought 0:02:38.800 --> 0:02:42.280 it was great, but unfortunately it also followed me other 0:02:42.320 --> 0:02:45.000 places that followed me into like the after school program. 0:02:45.120 --> 0:02:46.880 It followed me into school. 0:02:47.840 --> 0:02:53.799 People knew the Merriweathers and not in a good way. 0:02:56.639 --> 0:02:57.440 How I grew up. 0:02:57.520 --> 0:03:02.359 You don't aks adults questions, y, You just say okay, 0:03:02.919 --> 0:03:05.640 you know, like you don't ask some questions. If things 0:03:05.639 --> 0:03:10.120 are happening, you just you know, you you just go 0:03:10.240 --> 0:03:14.720 along with what's happening. So I never really asked too 0:03:14.800 --> 0:03:18.560 many questions about what was happening around me. I just 0:03:18.720 --> 0:03:21.200 observed a lot of things and put my head down 0:03:21.200 --> 0:03:25.360 and say, yes, ma'am. So my biological dad, I didn't 0:03:25.400 --> 0:03:29.360 ask a lot of questions about him. But supposedly the 0:03:29.919 --> 0:03:33.600 dad that I grew up with was not my biological father. 0:03:37.280 --> 0:03:42.440 I heard stories about how she just went to problem 0:03:42.480 --> 0:03:46.160 with this nice young man. He was so nice and 0:03:46.200 --> 0:03:49.600 now here you are. And I was just like always 0:03:49.640 --> 0:03:52.280 intrigued about this story because I never heard much about it. 0:03:52.400 --> 0:03:56.400 But supposedly, at one moment his name was Ernest, then 0:03:56.440 --> 0:03:58.160 at another moment his name was Dennis. 0:03:58.800 --> 0:04:01.160 So I I I my biological dad. 0:04:01.240 --> 0:04:05.280 Up until even today, I'm still very cloudy and blurry. 0:04:05.280 --> 0:04:07.680 I'm not sure, but I do remember this one scene 0:04:08.440 --> 0:04:12.280 of a guy showing up at our house. It was 0:04:12.320 --> 0:04:15.680 the hotel, showing up at the hotel, and he brought 0:04:15.680 --> 0:04:19.320 me a necklace and I was like, thanks, you know, 0:04:19.600 --> 0:04:23.359 went back to playing, and my mom said, oh, that 0:04:23.520 --> 0:04:27.039 was your biological dad, but you better not tell your 0:04:27.080 --> 0:04:32.560 step dad that he showed up. And I was like, yes, ma'am, 0:04:32.720 --> 0:04:37.000 because you do not aks questions about what is going on. 0:04:38.000 --> 0:04:41.159 So I lived all growing up with my stepdad, who 0:04:41.160 --> 0:04:44.400 I thought up until that moment was my biological father. 0:04:49.480 --> 0:04:54.320 Yeah, we all moved from hotel room to this room. 0:04:54.400 --> 0:04:57.200 On the weekends, I would go with my godmother, who 0:04:57.680 --> 0:05:01.720 was actually friends. Her daughters were friends with my mom 0:05:01.760 --> 0:05:04.480 at sixteen in high school, they were all friends. The 0:05:04.560 --> 0:05:07.599 story gets very confusing most times when I tell people 0:05:07.640 --> 0:05:10.880 this story, they're like, wait, what, how did you meet 0:05:10.920 --> 0:05:16.359 your godmother? Well, my mom had me at sixteen. She 0:05:16.480 --> 0:05:20.800 obviously had friends, and she still wanted to party so 0:05:20.839 --> 0:05:24.200 she could go and kind of reclaim her childhood, and 0:05:24.320 --> 0:05:29.119 so she left me with one of her friend's mom 0:05:29.160 --> 0:05:32.560 And so that's how I became in the realm of 0:05:33.120 --> 0:05:37.120 this miraculous woman who I call my godmother. Head was 0:05:37.160 --> 0:05:38.359 not christened, and. 0:05:38.560 --> 0:05:40.000 She was not like. 0:05:40.640 --> 0:05:44.960 This was a very informal relationship, like here's a baby, 0:05:45.080 --> 0:05:48.239 can you take care of this baby? And it wasn't 0:05:48.320 --> 0:05:52.839 until I was about round one. My godmother told my 0:05:52.920 --> 0:05:57.800 biological mom, listen, just leave her here, go out and 0:05:57.839 --> 0:05:59.960 have your life. Go out and do what you want. 0:06:00.360 --> 0:06:02.920 But coming in at three in the morning to pick 0:06:02.920 --> 0:06:06.080 her up. This in and out is not gonna work. 0:06:06.360 --> 0:06:09.920 So just leave her here, come back when you're ready 0:06:10.200 --> 0:06:14.920 to get her, and we'll go from there. And she did, 0:06:15.279 --> 0:06:19.000 and she didn't show back up until like maybe a 0:06:19.000 --> 0:06:23.760 few years later. Wanted to take me back. They went 0:06:23.920 --> 0:06:27.600 to court. They had joint custody of me. M So 0:06:27.680 --> 0:06:31.320 I was going back and forth between my godmother's house 0:06:32.000 --> 0:06:37.719 and my biological mother's house, back and forth, back and forth, 0:06:37.760 --> 0:06:42.040 back and forth. I remember crying all the time because 0:06:42.080 --> 0:06:46.599 I did not want to go back to my mom's house. 0:06:46.880 --> 0:06:51.880 Every Sunday I just would ball. By the time I 0:06:51.880 --> 0:06:55.000 would get home to my mom's house, she would beat 0:06:55.040 --> 0:06:58.640 me and tell me just stop crying, just be quiet, 0:06:59.160 --> 0:07:02.720 You're not gonna go back. And it had gotten kind 0:07:02.720 --> 0:07:05.640 of bad that I would skip weekends of not going 0:07:05.760 --> 0:07:08.839 to see my godmother because the previous weekend had just 0:07:08.920 --> 0:07:12.480 been so bad and I would not wanna come back 0:07:12.520 --> 0:07:15.520 to live with my biological mom. So she would say, 0:07:15.520 --> 0:07:18.440 you're gonna skip the next weekend as punishment for not 0:07:18.480 --> 0:07:24.960 wanting to come back at my godmother's house. I was 0:07:25.000 --> 0:07:27.640 pretty much the only child. Her kids were grown, her 0:07:27.680 --> 0:07:31.440 kids were off in the military and college, and I 0:07:31.520 --> 0:07:36.680 had everything. I was spoiled. It was fantastic, went to church, 0:07:36.840 --> 0:07:40.400 had stability, just she had a set of goals. She 0:07:40.520 --> 0:07:44.320 held me to her standard. She had a parenting skill. 0:07:46.000 --> 0:07:46.640 She was a mother. 0:07:47.680 --> 0:07:50.960 So I was moving, moving, moving back and forth, back 0:07:51.040 --> 0:07:55.520 and forth, and at thirteen, I was by that time, 0:07:55.600 --> 0:07:59.280 i'd failed the third grade twice, so it was it 0:07:59.320 --> 0:08:03.560 was pretty bad. My favorite aunt, she, what I didn't know, 0:08:03.880 --> 0:08:08.480 was pretty much the orchestrator of getting me into my 0:08:08.520 --> 0:08:11.600 godmother's home and helping out with the court. She was 0:08:11.640 --> 0:08:14.840 a security guard at the courtroom and she knew everyone there, 0:08:14.880 --> 0:08:17.720 and so she was pretty much the behind the scenes 0:08:17.960 --> 0:08:21.760 advocate for me, and I didn't know that. When I 0:08:21.840 --> 0:08:24.320 was thirteen, she told me, you know, you don't have 0:08:24.360 --> 0:08:28.720 to stay with her, you can leave. And I looked 0:08:28.760 --> 0:08:31.920 at her, I'm like, she's my mother, Like what am 0:08:31.960 --> 0:08:35.679 I gonna do? I can't just not stay with her? 0:08:36.280 --> 0:08:41.240 She said, you can, you can, and something happened. I 0:08:41.280 --> 0:08:45.040 can't even remember. To this day. What But I looked 0:08:45.040 --> 0:08:48.280 at my biological mother like right in the eye. She 0:08:48.360 --> 0:08:51.120 made me so upset one day and I told her 0:08:51.160 --> 0:08:54.120 I am not coming back. I am not coming back here. 0:08:54.160 --> 0:08:57.920 I do not wanna stay with you anymore. And she 0:08:58.000 --> 0:09:01.720 cursed me out and she told me to leave, like 0:09:02.280 --> 0:09:06.920 don't come back, okay, leave And it was the best 0:09:06.920 --> 0:09:11.320 thing that could have ever happened. I felt so liberated. 0:09:11.800 --> 0:09:14.559 This is at thirteen, Like I can't imagine any thirteen 0:09:14.600 --> 0:09:16.360 year old I looking back, I'm like it was thirteen, 0:09:17.120 --> 0:09:19.160 but I want it better, like I want it more. 0:09:19.360 --> 0:09:23.360 I saw on the weekends, just two days sometimes out 0:09:23.440 --> 0:09:28.280 of a week, how other people lived. And I was jealous, 0:09:28.400 --> 0:09:29.800 absolutely jealous. 0:09:32.520 --> 0:09:35.520 And you've been listening to Danisha Allan tell her story. 0:09:36.000 --> 0:09:39.160 She grows up in a tough part of Jacksonville. Biological 0:09:39.240 --> 0:09:42.480 dad out of the picture, biological mom out of the 0:09:42.480 --> 0:09:45.440 picture for a long time, comes back into her life 0:09:45.679 --> 0:09:49.640 after leaving her daughter with a quote godmother who actually 0:09:49.640 --> 0:09:53.079 became the mother, well, the mother that Danisha deserved. When 0:09:53.160 --> 0:09:57.080 we come back more of Danisha Allen's story here on 0:09:57.240 --> 0:10:11.880 our American stories, and we returned to our American stories 0:10:11.880 --> 0:10:15.600 in Tanisha Allen's story. When we last left off, Denisha 0:10:15.640 --> 0:10:18.400 was telling us about her rough childhood in the city 0:10:18.440 --> 0:10:23.079 of Jacksonville, Florida. Denisia now turns to her education. Let's 0:10:23.080 --> 0:10:24.280 return to her story. 0:10:24.760 --> 0:10:29.080 I was a well I wouldn't say terrible, but I 0:10:29.120 --> 0:10:44.040 would not want me as a student. My first education memory, 0:10:44.040 --> 0:10:47.280 I think I was in about the second grade and 0:10:47.679 --> 0:10:51.280 I had to use the restroom and I asked my teacher, like, 0:10:51.920 --> 0:10:54.120 can I go to the restroom? And she said no, 0:10:54.840 --> 0:10:59.200 and I was like excuse me, Like so I'm sitting 0:10:59.240 --> 0:11:01.120 there and like raising my hand. I'm like, okay, maybe 0:11:01.160 --> 0:11:03.680 this is the type of teacher. She's like lame and 0:11:03.720 --> 0:11:05.600 she wants you to raise your hand. I remember like 0:11:05.640 --> 0:11:08.640 thinking these as a second girl, like okay, i'm'a raise 0:11:08.679 --> 0:11:10.800 my hand so I can go to the restrooms. I'm 0:11:10.880 --> 0:11:14.319 raise my hand, wiggling in my seat, trying to get 0:11:14.320 --> 0:11:19.000 this lady's attention. And she did not answer my hand, 0:11:19.360 --> 0:11:22.400 and I yelled again, I have to go to the restroom, 0:11:22.880 --> 0:11:26.040 and she said no. When I ask you to do something, 0:11:26.080 --> 0:11:28.080 you don't do it. But now you want me to 0:11:28.120 --> 0:11:31.080 do something for you, and so no, you're not going 0:11:31.080 --> 0:11:33.280 to the restroom, and I walked out. 0:11:34.040 --> 0:11:37.959 I walked out of the classroom. I was like, peace. Think. 0:11:37.960 --> 0:11:40.560 I stayed in the restroom for like maybe ten fifteen minutes. 0:11:41.040 --> 0:11:44.440 Came back strutting like can't tell me what I'm not 0:11:44.520 --> 0:11:48.520 gonna do a stupid teacher, and I sat down. 0:11:48.600 --> 0:11:50.559 She told me get out and I was like no. 0:11:50.800 --> 0:11:51.880 She's like, get out and go. 0:11:51.840 --> 0:11:55.680 To Bertha blah. I was like no, and she would 0:11:55.800 --> 0:11:58.320 pick me up and started to like try to pull 0:11:58.400 --> 0:12:00.760 me out of the class. I remember like grabbing on 0:12:00.880 --> 0:12:04.800 to the table, grabbing onto the wall, like crying, screaming, 0:12:04.920 --> 0:12:10.000 kicking her, trying to stay in class, and she won. 0:12:10.240 --> 0:12:12.600 She like took me in principal's office. I spent most 0:12:12.640 --> 0:12:15.320 of my time in the principal's office. But yeah, that's 0:12:15.600 --> 0:12:24.680 my earliest memory of school. We didn't really go to school. 0:12:24.840 --> 0:12:27.920 If my mom was tired, she didn't tug us to 0:12:27.960 --> 0:12:30.439 the bus stop, and we would just sleep in its 0:12:30.520 --> 0:12:33.640 like cool. If it was raining outside, we didn't go 0:12:33.640 --> 0:12:36.120 to school. If it was too hot, we didn't go 0:12:36.160 --> 0:12:39.040 to school. So we weren't really in school a lot. 0:12:39.160 --> 0:12:43.920 I remember my mom. She went to jail a couple times. 0:12:44.120 --> 0:12:46.959 Because we weren't going to school. I r I remember 0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:49.640 that because then all of a sudden, it was like, 0:12:50.200 --> 0:12:52.559 get y'all home, you know, bleep the bleeps out of here, 0:12:53.120 --> 0:12:55.640 and just go just walk to school. I don't care. 0:12:56.480 --> 0:13:00.800 I wasn't really in school, And when I was in school, 0:13:01.280 --> 0:13:05.679 I hated being there. We changed so much that there 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:09.320 was never any significant reason for me to make friends 0:13:09.920 --> 0:13:13.559 like my teachers, and the teachers didn't like didn't. 0:13:13.320 --> 0:13:16.880 Like us at all. They heard Merriweather. 0:13:16.600 --> 0:13:19.480 Was coming through the door and they were just like, 0:13:21.040 --> 0:13:24.120 sit down, you know, at least that's how it seemed. 0:13:24.760 --> 0:13:29.240 Uh So, the the standard was very low for me 0:13:29.679 --> 0:13:32.880 to do well, and I didn't do well. I was 0:13:33.400 --> 0:13:36.400 very behind. I remember that. I remember getting picked on. 0:13:36.559 --> 0:13:40.320 I remember trying to read and having kids laugh at me, 0:13:41.440 --> 0:13:43.560 and I remember a lot of laughing at me. So 0:13:43.600 --> 0:13:47.679 by the third grade, there's the test, third grade tests 0:13:47.760 --> 0:13:50.400 that you have to take in order to pass to 0:13:50.480 --> 0:13:53.959 the next grade in Florida, and I failed the test, 0:13:54.720 --> 0:13:56.800 and so that meant I had to either do summer 0:13:56.840 --> 0:14:02.200 school or repeat the third grade. To do summer school, 0:14:02.800 --> 0:14:09.040 all that was required was for my guardian my mother 0:14:09.320 --> 0:14:13.000 to sign a piece of paper. I would still be 0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:15.000 able to take the bus, I would still be able 0:14:15.000 --> 0:14:19.040 to eat school launch just literally school during the summertime. 0:14:20.280 --> 0:14:27.800 She didn't sign papers, just didn't sign. So I failed 0:14:28.000 --> 0:14:33.000 third grade. That next year I failed again from the 0:14:33.040 --> 0:14:35.280 same thing. Just didn't get a piece of paper signed, 0:14:35.320 --> 0:14:35.960 couldn't read. 0:14:36.480 --> 0:14:37.600 It was a low in math. 0:14:38.720 --> 0:14:43.160 And fourth grade, I was accepted into what was called 0:14:43.240 --> 0:14:46.880 the Star program, and it's some acronym for something, but 0:14:47.000 --> 0:14:52.120 basically students getting into their right grade program. And I 0:14:52.240 --> 0:14:55.000 was in a classroom with people who were three and 0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:58.440 four grades behind. And this is in fourth grade. We 0:14:58.440 --> 0:15:01.520 were the special population, the special kids in the school. 0:15:01.560 --> 0:15:04.760 And so in the fourth grade, I was like, I 0:15:04.800 --> 0:15:07.440 have to do this, you know, I. I have to 0:15:07.720 --> 0:15:08.240 do well. 0:15:08.680 --> 0:15:09.520 And there was. 0:15:09.600 --> 0:15:13.160 This talent show. It was a talent show. I wanted 0:15:13.200 --> 0:15:16.200 to participate. I remember I wanted to sing this song 0:15:16.280 --> 0:15:22.520 by Yolanda Adams and I practiced so much. I was 0:15:22.600 --> 0:15:26.240 also very bad. So my teacher would threaten me, Denisha, 0:15:26.240 --> 0:15:28.800 if you do not do well, if you do not 0:15:28.920 --> 0:15:31.840 be good, you're gonna get kicked out of the talent show. 0:15:32.240 --> 0:15:35.400 I would write myself notes, Deniseha, do not talk in 0:15:35.480 --> 0:15:40.200 class deniseha, do not talk, be good, just pages and 0:15:40.320 --> 0:15:45.400 pages and pages. I failed, obviously. When the time came 0:15:45.720 --> 0:15:50.080 right before I was gonna go on, he told me, no, 0:15:50.320 --> 0:15:53.040 what you thought you were gonna participate in a talent show? 0:15:54.200 --> 0:16:00.000 No you you you were terrible, like absolutely not hm 0:16:00.080 --> 0:16:03.160 I W I was distraught, and from that moment, I 0:16:03.280 --> 0:16:07.600 just remember this click going off in my head of 0:16:07.760 --> 0:16:13.840 just anger, frustration at every single last teacher. No one 0:16:13.920 --> 0:16:17.640 seemed to really want to help me. Everyone just seemed 0:16:17.640 --> 0:16:20.920 to just criticize me all the time. From early on 0:16:21.000 --> 0:16:23.600 when I would just walk in the classroom and sigh, 0:16:24.160 --> 0:16:27.800 nobody was really like actually trying to help. It was 0:16:28.000 --> 0:16:31.960 just because of your actions these uh consequences. We're not 0:16:32.000 --> 0:16:33.840 gonna try to figure out why you acting like this. 0:16:34.800 --> 0:16:38.080 Just no. I think that was the moment in my 0:16:38.120 --> 0:16:41.680 mind when I was like, these crappy teachers, These people 0:16:41.960 --> 0:16:46.280 don't care. They don't really care about me, so I 0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:49.640 don't care either. And by the end of that year 0:16:49.720 --> 0:16:53.880 in the fourth grade, I didn't pass the program. 0:16:53.960 --> 0:16:56.200 I wasn't able to go to my right grade. 0:16:57.560 --> 0:17:04.199 Again. I was just so so frustrated, and that was 0:17:04.200 --> 0:17:06.399 when I was like, you know, this is just some 0:17:06.440 --> 0:17:08.840 place I have to be so that my mom doesn't 0:17:08.880 --> 0:17:15.359 go to jail. My mom dropped out of high school. 0:17:15.880 --> 0:17:18.760 I have many, many family members who dropped out of school, 0:17:19.359 --> 0:17:23.640 and I was beginning to see why in the summer 0:17:23.800 --> 0:17:27.359 before my sixth grade year. That was during the same 0:17:27.440 --> 0:17:29.879 time when I told my mom that I did not 0:17:30.000 --> 0:17:33.399 wanna stay with her anymore. Things at home had just 0:17:33.680 --> 0:17:40.520 gotten so terrible and I could live with my godmother. 0:17:41.160 --> 0:17:47.000 And my godmother was She's just my heart. She wanted 0:17:47.040 --> 0:17:51.200 to find a good place for me all the way around. 0:17:51.440 --> 0:17:55.159 That year was probably the best time of my life. 0:17:56.119 --> 0:17:59.200 She wanted me to go to the church's school. By 0:17:59.200 --> 0:18:01.960 that time, the church in my childhood church, the church 0:18:02.040 --> 0:18:04.159 that we had been attending i'd come to with her 0:18:04.200 --> 0:18:07.240 on the weekends, they built a school and she wanted 0:18:07.240 --> 0:18:07.520 me to. 0:18:07.480 --> 0:18:08.399 Go to that school. 0:18:09.720 --> 0:18:11.480 Of course, she didn't have no way to pay for 0:18:11.600 --> 0:18:15.480 that school. We got a scholarship, and the summer before 0:18:15.520 --> 0:18:18.960 I started, I had to take a test to see 0:18:19.000 --> 0:18:22.440 what level I was on. I was very low, needless 0:18:22.480 --> 0:18:27.080 to say, and one of my teachers she agreed to 0:18:27.119 --> 0:18:30.120 meet with me. I was not just low in reading, 0:18:30.440 --> 0:18:33.800 I was low in math. I didn't know my times tables. 0:18:34.280 --> 0:18:36.000 She met with me one on one. I would go 0:18:36.040 --> 0:18:39.919 to her house during the summer. I would stay after 0:18:39.920 --> 0:18:42.680 school when she was setting up for the school year. 0:18:44.840 --> 0:18:47.680 It was very different. 0:18:49.400 --> 0:18:52.159 And you're listening to Denisha Allen, a senior fellow at 0:18:52.200 --> 0:18:56.160 the American Federation for Children, and you're beginning to understand 0:18:56.200 --> 0:18:59.920 why she works at a place with that name. Education. 0:19:00.040 --> 0:19:03.879 She was so important in her life when it became important, 0:19:04.280 --> 0:19:06.560 but for much of her early life it wasn't. She 0:19:06.680 --> 0:19:10.880 was left behind, left behind, failure of filling out paperwork 0:19:10.960 --> 0:19:14.880 by a mom. What just wretched circumstances for a kid 0:19:14.920 --> 0:19:18.719 to find herself. And then that godmother, that godmother who 0:19:18.840 --> 0:19:21.719 saved her. When we come back more of Denisha Allen's 0:19:21.760 --> 0:19:39.199 story here on our American Stories. And we returned to 0:19:39.320 --> 0:19:43.440 our American Stories and the final portion of Danisha Allen's story. 0:19:43.920 --> 0:19:46.080 When we last left off, Tanisha was telling us about 0:19:46.080 --> 0:19:49.480 her early education in the public schools of Jackson, Florida. 0:19:49.840 --> 0:19:53.199 Things simply put, we're not good until people started to 0:19:53.200 --> 0:19:56.320 pour into her. Let's get back to the story here again. 0:19:56.920 --> 0:19:57.920 He's Denisiha Allen. 0:19:58.320 --> 0:19:59.640 I thought it was just going to be a much 0:19:59.680 --> 0:20:04.560 funny games, to be honest, but we really she really, 0:20:04.840 --> 0:20:06.800 I don't know what it's saying. Is crack the whip? 0:20:06.840 --> 0:20:10.919 I don't know. But we'd studied and I learned my 0:20:11.040 --> 0:20:15.120 times tables I was reading. She did not let up. 0:20:15.800 --> 0:20:19.120 She was a student at Jacksonville University, and I remember 0:20:19.480 --> 0:20:23.359 going with her to her classes too. That was my 0:20:23.440 --> 0:20:27.000 life during the summer. Although I was still kind of 0:20:27.040 --> 0:20:32.080 nervous about the start of the year at this new school, 0:20:32.680 --> 0:20:34.840 I was kind of used to going to a new school, 0:20:34.840 --> 0:20:38.560 though I knew the parade how things were gonna play out. 0:20:38.600 --> 0:20:40.840 The teachers were gonna act like they were so happy 0:20:40.880 --> 0:20:44.520 to be there, and they would smile greet us. The 0:20:44.720 --> 0:20:49.600 classrooms would be so beautiful with the freshest, you know, decorations, 0:20:50.160 --> 0:20:51.280 but it would wear off. 0:20:51.600 --> 0:20:52.840 That was just how it went. 0:20:53.880 --> 0:20:56.080 Sure enough, on my first day of school, the teachers 0:20:56.080 --> 0:20:59.040 were there greeting us with big smiles, hugging everybody. The 0:20:59.040 --> 0:21:03.159 classrooms were beat and I was like, yeah, I know 0:21:03.280 --> 0:21:06.600 this song very well, and the song is gonna end. 0:21:09.960 --> 0:21:16.720 The song never ended. Literally every day until I graduated, 0:21:16.760 --> 0:21:22.480 teachers were doing the same thing. I was always very shocked, 0:21:22.520 --> 0:21:26.720 even til I graduated, it was still a bit unsettling 0:21:26.800 --> 0:21:33.800 that it never stopped. I was in a class with students, 0:21:33.840 --> 0:21:38.000 of course, who were all younger than me, and I 0:21:38.320 --> 0:21:42.280 had my guard up because I knew what was gonna come. 0:21:43.119 --> 0:21:45.840 Teacher would call on me to read. They would laugh 0:21:46.160 --> 0:21:48.439 at me, and I would have to claim my space 0:21:48.480 --> 0:21:51.159 and let people know that I am nothing to mess with, Like, 0:21:51.240 --> 0:21:54.520 do not mess with me. I remember my teacher calling 0:21:54.560 --> 0:21:59.040 on me to read, and I s was still stumbling. 0:22:00.320 --> 0:22:08.320 Nobody laughed. I looked around and was waiting, like waiting 0:22:08.440 --> 0:22:12.760 to cut someone, you know, with my eyes and like 0:22:12.840 --> 0:22:15.320 get ready for the playground, Like I was trying to 0:22:15.440 --> 0:22:18.520 figure out who the big dog in a class was 0:22:18.560 --> 0:22:22.320 so that I could like bring them down. Nobody laughed 0:22:22.400 --> 0:22:33.399 at me, even a couple students. They would voluntarily like 0:22:33.480 --> 0:22:36.600 try to help me. My sixth grade teacher, though she 0:22:36.760 --> 0:22:42.960 invested as much or probably more in me as well students. 0:22:43.280 --> 0:22:47.840 Typically how school goes if people forgot m a teacher 0:22:47.880 --> 0:22:50.320 will open up the book and say who wants to 0:22:50.400 --> 0:22:54.400 read chapter one. The students will then raise their hand, 0:22:55.119 --> 0:22:58.200 and the teacher will pick from the students who raised 0:22:58.200 --> 0:23:03.280 their hand to read the paragraph in the book. I 0:23:03.440 --> 0:23:09.000 never rose my hand. She would always call on me. 0:23:11.119 --> 0:23:14.480 So every time we had to read, she would call 0:23:14.560 --> 0:23:18.760 on me. I would stumble, stumble, stumble, stumble, until one 0:23:18.880 --> 0:23:24.119 day I didn't. And this was literally like the first 0:23:24.240 --> 0:23:27.639 nine weeks. It seemed like my life took a one 0:23:27.840 --> 0:23:35.399 eighty turn. The name of the school is Expirit of Course, 0:23:35.440 --> 0:23:40.040 Center for Learning. We're learning is a joy. Excellence is 0:23:40.080 --> 0:23:43.520 the norm, and superiority is our goal. That's the school's model. 0:23:43.640 --> 0:23:46.560 We literally like had to recite it all the time. 0:23:47.200 --> 0:23:52.040 We had a spirit of excellence. We also had demerits, 0:23:52.320 --> 0:23:55.400 which I was like, what are these? You know where 0:23:55.480 --> 0:23:58.360 I come from, anything that's different from normal? We say, 0:23:58.359 --> 0:24:02.560 what is this white people's stuff? You know? The culture 0:24:02.640 --> 0:24:05.960 was different. I wasn't used to the culture. They held 0:24:06.000 --> 0:24:09.479 you to a standard. Every kid in my class. It 0:24:09.520 --> 0:24:11.359 was a very small C school. I think I had 0:24:11.359 --> 0:24:14.400 about seven or eight kids in my sixth grade class. 0:24:14.960 --> 0:24:17.760 All of them were on honor roll. I was like 0:24:17.840 --> 0:24:20.280 literally the only dumb kid, and I was like, I 0:24:20.400 --> 0:24:23.560 cannot be the only dumb kid. Whereas where I was at, 0:24:24.119 --> 0:24:28.000 everybody was feeling. The teachers expected for everyone to be 0:24:28.080 --> 0:24:29.960 if you gotta see you were like, you need to 0:24:30.000 --> 0:24:31.159 be more like him, you know. 0:24:31.320 --> 0:24:33.720 It was just it was so different. 0:24:33.920 --> 0:24:37.800 And so these kids, they were all very smart, they 0:24:37.800 --> 0:24:41.639 were all very nice and kind, and I was like this, 0:24:42.240 --> 0:24:45.479 you know, pit bull doll who just came off the street. 0:24:45.720 --> 0:24:49.000 And they they didn't look at me like I was weird, 0:24:49.119 --> 0:24:51.679 but they I think they knew in their mind, like 0:24:51.800 --> 0:24:55.119 we came here like that too, you know, like you 0:24:55.240 --> 0:25:00.679 will change, you know, kind of this weird environment. But 0:25:01.560 --> 0:25:05.240 this one time I was in ISSP in school suspension. 0:25:07.080 --> 0:25:11.879 The guy who was over it this time, he was 0:25:12.080 --> 0:25:17.040 also a part of the church. He was a fireman 0:25:17.960 --> 0:25:20.679 and I think he was in the reserves or something. 0:25:20.680 --> 0:25:23.520 But this was this big black guy. 0:25:24.960 --> 0:25:27.880 He was in the military and a firefighter. I didn't 0:25:27.960 --> 0:25:30.639 understand how he did them both, but that's what he 0:25:30.720 --> 0:25:35.080 told us all. And I just knew he was big, 0:25:35.119 --> 0:25:40.680 intall just towered over over me. He was in charge 0:25:40.720 --> 0:25:42.919 of giving me my work and just checking in on 0:25:43.000 --> 0:25:46.919 me that time, and in school suspension, he came to 0:25:46.960 --> 0:25:51.199 me and he said, Denisha, when is this gonna stop? 0:25:51.960 --> 0:25:54.840 When are you gonna change this? When are you gonna 0:25:54.880 --> 0:25:58.200 stop acting like this? Do you want to be in jail? 0:26:00.680 --> 0:26:02.719 Do you wanna go to jail? I forget how you 0:26:02.760 --> 0:26:04.879 phrased it, but it it was something along. It was like, 0:26:04.960 --> 0:26:07.080 do you wanna go to jail? Do you wanna be 0:26:07.119 --> 0:26:14.199