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Speaker 1: Look at Our Radio is a radio phonic novela, which

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Speaker 1: is just a very extra way of saying a podcast.

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Speaker 1: I'm theos f M and I am Malays. Local Radio

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Speaker 1: is your free, must favorite podcast hosted by us Mala

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Speaker 1: and Theosa, where two I G friends turned podcast partners,

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Speaker 1: breaking down pop culture, feminism, sexual wellness, and offering fresh

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Speaker 1: takes on strending topics through nuanced interviews with up and

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Speaker 1: coming Latin next creatives known as Las Locals, Las Mammy

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Speaker 1: Submit and Bullshits next Door and Lasses. We've been podcasting

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Speaker 1: independently since and we're bringing our radiophonic novela to the

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Speaker 1: Miculcura Network to continue sharing stories from the latinox community.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Local Radio Season seven. Take us to your

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Speaker 1: network Well now, La Locomotives, Welcome back to Look at

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Speaker 1: Our Radio. I'm Thesa and you're tuning in to last

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Speaker 1: time on Look at the Radio, we discuss the current

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Speaker 1: state of feminism and waves of anti feminism. Go back,

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Speaker 1: tune in, let us know what you think. If you've

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Speaker 1: seen any examples of anti feminism, especially online, tag us

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Speaker 1: send it to us because we're continuing to collect receipts

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Speaker 1: on this ever looming issue. Yeah, I feel like we

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Speaker 1: kind of without even intending to like start a little

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Speaker 1: series on look at the Radio, Like we start with

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Speaker 1: an idea and then we're like, Okay, we have to

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Speaker 1: revisit this every so often. And I think that this

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Speaker 1: is one of those topics totally, because each episode is

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Speaker 1: honestly like we've been noticing something has happened repeatedly. Okay,

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Speaker 1: now it's time to make an episode about it. So

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Speaker 1: these are things that are happening on an ongoing basis anyways,

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Speaker 1: and we're just you know, we're noticing. Yes, we're noticing,

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Speaker 1: we're archiving, we're discussing, yes we are. And before we

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Speaker 1: get into today's episodes, can I just point out that

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Speaker 1: we hit one fifty episode one fifty. I can't believe it.

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Speaker 1: Go us, go us, go us. Shout out Michael. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we could not have made it without them. Literally, shout

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Speaker 1: out to the Michael Dura Network, our new home. We

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Speaker 1: love it here. We're just we're cozy, we're settling right in. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean, one fifty. I'm so proud of us because

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Speaker 1: we're a weekly show, and without the weekly cadence, we

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Speaker 1: wouldn't be at one. No, it really makes a difference.

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Speaker 1: I mean the cadence, it's like it really adds up

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Speaker 1: and it helps us, I think also to diversify our

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Speaker 1: content because we got to come up with something different

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Speaker 1: enough from the week before, you know, instead of checking

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Speaker 1: into like once a month, we really got to pay

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Speaker 1: attention and write stuff down and flesh ideas. So I

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Speaker 1: think the podcast is just continuing to flourish because of

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Speaker 1: our move to heart Agree it's great. It's great, and

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Speaker 1: I also have some news that I want to share.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, what happened? So I am officially a

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Speaker 1: full time look, yes, we love it. So I quit

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Speaker 1: my resigned for my job in January, and it was

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Speaker 1: one of the hardest decisions I've ever made because I

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Speaker 1: love this job. It's with a great agency, probably the

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Speaker 1: healthiest work environment ever. I had a like really comfy

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Speaker 1: work from home situation. Um, but you know, with the

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Speaker 1: full time grad student I heart new shows, I just

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Speaker 1: couldn't you know what, it turns out you can't do

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Speaker 1: it all and that's all right, And I think that

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Speaker 1: also ties into today's episode. Also totally, there are only

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Speaker 1: so many hours in a day and so many days

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Speaker 1: in a week. And you were really juggling like everything

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Speaker 1: for a time there successfully that two was like hyper

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Speaker 1: productive for you. It was for better or for worse.

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Speaker 1: You know. Something that I really reflected on at the

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Speaker 1: end of when I was burnt out was it's not

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Speaker 1: okay the limits you push yourself to. And having that

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Speaker 1: realization like really led me to the decision of resigning

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Speaker 1: from this job that I really care about and I

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Speaker 1: really enjoyed, because some even if you can do it,

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Speaker 1: does it doesn't mean that you should, right, And I

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Speaker 1: like found myself like, Okay, just because you can kind

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Speaker 1: of hold down three full time things doesn't mean that

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Speaker 1: you should. And the network was like the goal, So

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Speaker 1: like what am I waiting for? You know totally it's

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Speaker 1: that what's that saying? Where it's like the place you're

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Speaker 1: at now, like you were dying to be there three

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Speaker 1: years ago, five years ago, you know, one year ago,

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Speaker 1: and like now we're here, we have to revel in

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Speaker 1: it and appreciate it because and we were we were

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Speaker 1: dreaming about this and ide eating and manifesting and talking

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Speaker 1: about it and pitching and really trying to push to

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Speaker 1: get that network contract the right one, and now we

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Speaker 1: have it now we're here like we have to, and

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Speaker 1: you talked about this like when we are now celebrating

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Speaker 1: these milestones, do you have the time in the space

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Speaker 1: to celebrate them? Right? Yeah. I think there's like so

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Speaker 1: many iterations of that, of that idea or that's saying right.

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Speaker 1: It's like one of the things that I also think

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Speaker 1: of is like, remember when you wished for what you

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Speaker 1: have right now, very same same feeling. It's like, you

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Speaker 1: wanted this so bad and now you have it, can

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Speaker 1: you even enjoy it? Do you even have the time

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Speaker 1: and space to really thrive and enjoy and be happy

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Speaker 1: or are you always stressed and booked and looking towards

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Speaker 1: the next thing? Exactly? Yeah. The that's I think the

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Speaker 1: kicker too, is especially with all this entertainment industry type work,

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Speaker 1: begging on the door or throwing rocks at the windows,

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Speaker 1: like let me in, breaking in, breaking in, tearing down

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Speaker 1: the door exactly. So now we're here, Okay, I was begging,

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Speaker 1: like let me work, So now it's time to work.

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Speaker 1: That's ultimately I feel like when we talk about we

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Speaker 1: have dreams and goals, it's to do more work. And

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Speaker 1: so now we're here, yeah, and we're working and I

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Speaker 1: think it's it's working. It's totally working. Yeah, And I think, yeah,

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Speaker 1: in the spirit of letting things go to make room

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Speaker 1: for new things. And we're approaching February and that's you know,

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Speaker 1: a month full of love and reflection and like whatever

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Speaker 1: type of love that means for you and your life.

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Speaker 1: We wanted to talk about self love today, which I

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Speaker 1: feel like in the last five, six, seven years since

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Speaker 1: we've been podcasting, like continues to be a topic of

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Speaker 1: conversation for everyone in like the feminist spaces, in wellness

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Speaker 1: and dating, like all these different areas of life, people

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Speaker 1: are always talking about self love and self care. And

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Speaker 1: I think we kind of are like, okay, like we

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Speaker 1: don't need to always talk about that, but I think

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Speaker 1: we want to take some time to actually talk about

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Speaker 1: that today. Yeah, if ever there was a time, or

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Speaker 1: ever there was an episode, it's going to be like

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Speaker 1: our February Valentine's Gallantine's esque episode. And yeah, you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm also reflecting on how much the conversation has probably changed.

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Speaker 1: If we go back to earlier seasons and earlier episodes

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Speaker 1: when we were younger women talking about self care, I

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Speaker 1: feel like those there was probably more like bath bombs

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Speaker 1: and facials than maybe like we might discuss today, right. Um,

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Speaker 1: I think for me this idea of self care has

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Speaker 1: evolved to this place where it's like, can I take

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Speaker 1: care of myself enough that I can be ready to

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Speaker 1: go up for like people around me? And I think

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Speaker 1: that has become more of like my test and my

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Speaker 1: marker for self care. It's not just anymore like do

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Speaker 1: I feel good and happy? It's like do I feel

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Speaker 1: good and happy? And do I have my ship together

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Speaker 1: enough that if you know, like there's a situation at home,

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Speaker 1: I can be responsive or I can help, or I

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Speaker 1: can participate in some way, you know. So that's kind

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Speaker 1: of like how I've been thinking about it, like care

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Speaker 1: of myself honestly in service of others. Yeah, I completely

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Speaker 1: agree with you. Like when thinking about past episodes, because

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Speaker 1: we've been podcasting since we were, respectively twenty three and

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Speaker 1: twenty four, we're grown women. Even though we thought we

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Speaker 1: were grown then, we're like really grown now and continue

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Speaker 1: to grow. Um. But I was also thinking about how

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Speaker 1: our definition of self love and self care has probably

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Speaker 1: changed over the years, and how before it was like

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Speaker 1: wearing the bomb is outfit, feeling the best in whatever

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Speaker 1: way that meant that day, and I'd like, that's still

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Speaker 1: true to an extent, but I agree, I think, how

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Speaker 1: can I show up for myself that allows me to

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Speaker 1: show up for others? And I think, going back to

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Speaker 1: what I was saying about juggling too many things, I

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Speaker 1: felt like I was a little monster gremlin in December,

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Speaker 1: like I felt like I was not my best self

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Speaker 1: like to those around me. And that also made me

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Speaker 1: reflect like is this how I want to be spending

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Speaker 1: my time with my people? Like do I want to

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Speaker 1: be in a crappy mood because I'm so exhausted? And

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Speaker 1: I think that, coupled with all these other things, right,

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Speaker 1: being in a space that has allowed me now to

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Speaker 1: be full time look really shifted, like, Okay, I want

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Speaker 1: to show up in my best way for others and

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Speaker 1: I can't do that if I'm running myself to the ground.

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Speaker 1: And so taking that step of okay, I'm taking the

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Speaker 1: leap going to be full time, I'm resigning for my

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Speaker 1: job was an act of self care and self love

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Speaker 1: for me as a person, but also for the career right,

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Speaker 1: but really really for like me as a person, because

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Speaker 1: I was a little gremlin, like I was not my kindest,

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Speaker 1: best self, and I was like fully, fully aware of it,

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Speaker 1: and I could see myself showing up like a little gremlin.

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Speaker 1: You were it was like you were in a permanent

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Speaker 1: state of hungary. Yes, for the month, I was constantly angry, essentially,

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Speaker 1: And it's understandable because that last week of the month

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Speaker 1: really tried you, like really put you through some hoops,

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Speaker 1: some trials and tribulations. I feel that you handled it

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Speaker 1: all with grace, but of course I'm not there with

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Speaker 1: you every hour of the day, you know, But I

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Speaker 1: feel like it's one of those things that sometimes that's

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Speaker 1: also the self love is like we are these little

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Speaker 1: pressure cookers and it's okay, there's a little steam, and

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Speaker 1: hopefully those around us who love us like, no that

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Speaker 1: we don't mean, we don't mean anything by it. We're

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Speaker 1: just a little stressed, you know. Yeah. I like overheard

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Speaker 1: my mom talking to my THEA and she she was referring,

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Speaker 1: she was talking about me, and she goes, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: she's in finals right now, so I'm staying away from her. Oh,

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Speaker 1: And I was like both mortified but also like, you know,

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Speaker 1: a good call, like yeah, like I do need to

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Speaker 1: be like I need some distance from people to like

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Speaker 1: figure things out. And yeah, better that could I do

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Speaker 1: the same thing. I'll tell my mom, Like, I just

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Speaker 1: need to be left alone a little bit. And this

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Speaker 1: is for everyone's benefit, you know. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: subject you to my crabbiness. I need to address the

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Speaker 1: crabbiness myself. I know how to fix it. Let me

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Speaker 1: just handle it and we'll be back. I'll see you tomorrow,

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Speaker 1: you know, I agree. And then you know, when thinking

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Speaker 1: about like I don't know, mama, like when you were

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Speaker 1: in your early twenties, or even just even a year ago,

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Speaker 1: like how do you think your definition of self love

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Speaker 1: has changed? Like what did your acts of self look like?

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Speaker 1: What did your acts of self love look like then

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Speaker 1: versus now? Yeah, you know it was a lot more performative,

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Speaker 1: I think, and a lot more indulgent. I think that

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Speaker 1: back then, And this goes I think ties into like

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Speaker 1: our conversation in past episodes about the type of feminism

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Speaker 1: we were engaging in. I think it was a lot

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Speaker 1: of like have the cocktail, like, throw on the cute dress,

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Speaker 1: like meet up with the girlies, like go party, like

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Speaker 1: stay out ntil the wee hours of the night, you know,

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Speaker 1: like get the acrylic nail, take the bubble, bad love,

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Speaker 1: all those things super fun, you know. But I think

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Speaker 1: now the self care is like not going out, not drinking,

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Speaker 1: taking a class, you know, like going and like doing

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Speaker 1: something that is contributing to my long term whatever health goals, happiness, success,

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Speaker 1: as opposed to like the weekend you know band aid,

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Speaker 1: which I think a lot of our self care, or

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Speaker 1: mine at least in the past, was like weekend band

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Speaker 1: aid because it was so tied to this very traumatic

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Speaker 1: job that I had. You know, It's like you're working

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Speaker 1: traumatizing like hours and doing traumatizing stuff and being exposed

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Speaker 1: to traumatizing things. So the self care is just like

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Speaker 1: recovering from that, but just so that you can get

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Speaker 1: up and do it again the next time you go

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Speaker 1: in for work. Right, life is so different now. Life

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Speaker 1: is like so lovely now because over the years making

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Speaker 1: certain moves to now center my life around like art

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Speaker 1: and creativity and performance, whether that be the podcast both

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Speaker 1: of the podcast you know, look at and Marijuaneda, or

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Speaker 1: the stand up or the improv or the writing what

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Speaker 1: have you, the skating, so I don't have to like

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Speaker 1: recover from my work anymore. I don't have to recover

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Speaker 1: from my life from the nine to five or the

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Speaker 1: Monday through Friday. It's like it can all be integrated

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Speaker 1: and it can all contribute to my my happiness. So

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Speaker 1: I think that's also like been a big project for me,

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Speaker 1: is just shifting everything so like the center is not harmful,

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Speaker 1: the center is like is in and of itself happy.

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Speaker 1: You know. Yeah, I love that. That's such a good

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Speaker 1: point because I think so much of early twenties mid

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Speaker 1: twenties self really up until the pandemic, was about, like

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Speaker 1: you said, putting that band aid on and how can

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Speaker 1: I like be cute? And even though I don't think

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Speaker 1: I saw it then because I don't think I was

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Speaker 1: trying to like buy my self care, but it was

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Speaker 1: very much tied to like getting a facial, you know,

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Speaker 1: getting the acrylics set, which I still get their gel

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Speaker 1: x now, but very much tied to like how can

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Speaker 1: I do some do an act that's going to make

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Speaker 1: me feel better for like a couple of hours or

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Speaker 1: a couple of days, but like the root of it

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Speaker 1: has not been fixed. And I think that that ties

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Speaker 1: into what you're saying about, like, well, if it's like

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Speaker 1: you're being traumatized systematically, like especially in your line of work,

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Speaker 1: and I think for a lot of us, like we're

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Speaker 1: dealing with it's not just internal sadness. Some of it is,

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Speaker 1: but it's also like, oh no, you're working against systems.

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Speaker 1: They are like trying to tear you down or trying

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Speaker 1: to make you feel bad, which is why like the

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Speaker 1: individual self care day is not going to help you.

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Speaker 1: It's not going to fix everything. It's going to put

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Speaker 1: a band aid on. And again, we still do all

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Speaker 1: those cute things. We still do them. They're not gone. No, no, no,

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Speaker 1: we've kept We still have a cocktail. Yeah we do,

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Speaker 1: we do. I think now we know like, okay, we're done,

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Speaker 1: we're two cocktails that we're good, and that's fine. You know.

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Speaker 1: But before it was like, oh no, we're gonna we're

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Speaker 1: gonna drink all the cocktails. You have, double double fisting

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Speaker 1: happy hour, let's do it. It was good times. It

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Speaker 1: was fun, and you know you still need those days,

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Speaker 1: and yeah, like we still work those things in, but

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Speaker 1: I think we've kind of learned, like the moderation and

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Speaker 1: also like Okay, if I have to recover from my

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Speaker 1: self care, it's right now. It's maybe not self care,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I shouldn't need a recovery

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Speaker 1: day for my self care weekend, you know. So that's

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Speaker 1: that's a difference too, is like, um, I'm back in

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Speaker 1: the gym, you know, And sometimes you have to cut

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Speaker 1: harmful behaviors out and so that you can like actually

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Speaker 1: invest in more helpful behaviors. And I think that's been

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Speaker 1: a big part of also just staying alive in the pandemic.

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Speaker 1: It's like we couldn't do certain things so that we

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Speaker 1: can keep doing what we want to do. You know.

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Speaker 1: Um that's been a big mind shift change for me. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like that harm reduction of Okay, government is not doing

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Speaker 1: what they should be doing, so like how are we

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Speaker 1: taking care of ourselves and each other? Because I think

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Speaker 1: like now, while not everyone participated or viewed like wearing

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Speaker 1: a mask as community care, getting vaccinated as community care,

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Speaker 1: I think like a lot of us in our little

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Speaker 1: circles like definitely saw like Okay, this is one small

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Speaker 1: way that I can enact community care. And it's not

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Speaker 1: just like the broad community, but literally like people you

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Speaker 1: live with, relatives and also broader community totally like and

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Speaker 1: and we still go out and go to a like,

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Speaker 1: I don't want you guys to think that, you know,

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Speaker 1: we've just thrown out all fun because that also hasn't happened.

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Speaker 1: We still do our things and we still go out

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Speaker 1: and stuff. But like I was just kind of talking

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Speaker 1: to two friends about how, you know, we did our

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Speaker 1: first babis Alta of the year. We did it at

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Speaker 1: the Virgil, and we were talking about how I used

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Speaker 1: to go to the Virgil. Like when I was like three,

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Speaker 1: I was at the Virgil every week. That was one

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Speaker 1: of the spots religiously, like it was church. I was

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Speaker 1: at the Virgil every week. And now it's like I

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Speaker 1: had not been to the Virgil in years. I don't

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Speaker 1: even know when the last time I went to the Virgil.

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Speaker 1: It must have been It's probably been more than five years,

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Speaker 1: I want to say. I want to say the last

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Speaker 1: time we were at the Virgil was for party, like

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Speaker 1: en so yeah, a while, it's been at least five yeah, now,

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Speaker 1: and but now I'm there and on the other side

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Speaker 1: of things like hosting an event, throwing a party, not

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Speaker 1: there to be nuts. You know, it's just different. It's

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Speaker 1: just a whole different vibe. So yeah, growth maturity, I

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Speaker 1: think that all contributes. Yeah I think so, and yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think like I like think about Okay, I'm I'm

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Speaker 1: kind of like I'm a procrastinator. I can self sabotage

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Speaker 1: my like myself and my journey and work like intensely.

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Speaker 1: And so something that I've also been thinking about is

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Speaker 1: like preparing for tomorrow like helps you or if like

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Speaker 1: you plan for tomorrow, like you're good, and I've I've

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Speaker 1: kind of just been writing down these little like affirmations

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Speaker 1: or just thoughts about like it's okay, like to be ready, right,

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Speaker 1: you gotta stay ready. You don't have to get ready

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Speaker 1: kind of thing, because I feel I have been the

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Speaker 1: last couple of years, especially now like stepping into like

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Speaker 1: really full time full time. Look, it's like, okay, you

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Speaker 1: have to hold yourself accountable and like you have to

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Speaker 1: do the work and that like all ties into like

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Speaker 1: that self care and self love because it's like no

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Speaker 1: one else is going to make you do it. You

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Speaker 1: have to do it. It's true like as an adult,

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Speaker 1: you know, becoming prepared for something is entirely like self

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Speaker 1: motivated and self driven no matter what it is, Like

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Speaker 1: this is for me also, why like I've been getting

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Speaker 1: back into acting. I've done a couple of self tapes

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Speaker 1: recently for like parts and like short films UM and

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Speaker 1: like a web series that and the stand up. It's

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Speaker 1: like I can't just show up and wing it. To

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Speaker 1: some extent, I can. The improv is there, but to

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Speaker 1: a much larger extent there's you have to have a

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Speaker 1: level of preparedness and practice and like your reps under

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Speaker 1: your belt so that you can just show up and

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Speaker 1: do it and wing it, but you're not really winging

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Speaker 1: it because you've been preparing daily, weekly, monthly. And that

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Speaker 1: has been really important for me because I think like

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Speaker 1: for me UM, growing up, I've always been really good

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Speaker 1: at just showing up and just winging it or just

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Speaker 1: throwing it together, like I'm really good at bullshitting, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean. And that is something that I think, Um,

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Speaker 1: you'll hear kids who like, oh, I was in the

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Speaker 1: gifted program, like I did this, I did that. People

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Speaker 1: sometimes almost expect less of you when you're like the

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Speaker 1: straight a student, you know what I mean, Like anything

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Speaker 1: you do is golden. So like over the years, it's

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Speaker 1: also been learning like I can push myself and I

359
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,800
Speaker 1: can actually become better and be better and I can

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Speaker 1: prepare for things. And that's part of the self love too,

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Speaker 1: is like giving myself the time and the space and

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Speaker 1: the preparation to like truly excel at something and get

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Speaker 1: better at it and improve, you know, And so like

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Speaker 1: the procrastination and the self sabotage is just that, like

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00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:06,040
Speaker 1: it is self sabotage, Like why am I stopping myself

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Speaker 1: from being good at something? Literally? I feel like like

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Speaker 1: sometimes like I I have a hard time being bad

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Speaker 1: at things. Like the learning curve for me is like

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Speaker 1: really hard. It really challenges my like perfectionism. And so

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Speaker 1: when I'm like learning something new, if I'm not automatically

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Speaker 1: good at it, I don't want to do it. And

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Speaker 1: so that has been really challenging to work through. I'm

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Speaker 1: doing it. I'm doing things that I'm not automatically good at,

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Speaker 1: but it's hard. It's like really pushes you out of

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Speaker 1: your comfort zone because it's like, you know what, it's

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Speaker 1: actually okay to not automatically be good at things, Like

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Speaker 1: that's why you that's why you're learning something, you're doing

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Speaker 1: something new, you're trying something, Yeah, like oh I don't

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Speaker 1: have to be world class this thing that I just

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Speaker 1: tried for the first time. Literally, that's one of my

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Speaker 1: favorite Beyonce quotes, right, I want to say it's from Homecome,

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Speaker 1: where she talks about how people don't like to rehearse

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Speaker 1: because they don't like to look silly and they don't

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Speaker 1: like to look like they don't know what they're doing.

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Speaker 1: And so rehearsal is very vulnerable, and learning something is

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Speaker 1: very vulnerable because it's also admitting I don't know and

387
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Speaker 1: I'm going to be bad at it for a while

388
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Speaker 1: until I'm not. Yeah, I think like with grad school too,

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Speaker 1: like I have like really pushed myself to get better

390
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Speaker 1: at something, like already have a podcasting audio background. How

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Speaker 1: can I like even get even better at it? How

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Speaker 1: can I tell stories in the best possible way? How

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Speaker 1: can I craft a narrative around something? And that also

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Speaker 1: has a learning curve? Do I already have a background? Absolutely?

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Speaker 1: Do I know everything? No? And so I think that

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00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:48,879
Speaker 1: has been very enlightening. And also there's a level of

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Speaker 1: vulnerability to it as well, because I'm developing something for

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Speaker 1: a new where I'm like the soul host and like

399
00:23:56,080 --> 00:24:00,600
Speaker 1: writing the script and so that will come out sometime

400
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 1: this year. But that's like something I've been actively working

401
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:09,600
Speaker 1: on It's like really really has like extremely vulnerable exposed.

402
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:14,159
Speaker 1: So listeners, I don't know if you caught that, but

403
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:19,960
Speaker 1: that was basically an announcement of a future solo project

404
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:26,800
Speaker 1: headed up by Biosa yes State TVD, but it's in

405
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:29,359
Speaker 1: the works. I've been teasing it if you follow me

406
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:33,400
Speaker 1: on my socials and look like we've been teasing out

407
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:38,479
Speaker 1: this project for a couple of years. Um, so stay tuned.

408
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:42,560
Speaker 1: But even just yeah, it's like doing the things that

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00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,640
Speaker 1: scare you, right, telling the story that you're like, oh,

410
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Speaker 1: I'm never going to tell anybody this. You know you're

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Speaker 1: going to tell it, and you're telling it now. I

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Speaker 1: just know it's going to be really good. You guys

413
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Speaker 1: like you, stay fucking tuned, Like seriously. Yeah, So yeah TVD.

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Speaker 1: But um, some thing that I feel like people have

415
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Speaker 1: talked about over the years is can you be in

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Speaker 1: a relationship with someone while you're working on yourself while

417
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Speaker 1: you're healing. I feel like there's always a debate about this,

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Speaker 1: and so I wanted to pose this question to wrap

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Speaker 1: up the conversation about like self love and self care,

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Speaker 1: is like, can you be in a relationship with someone

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00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:26,199
Speaker 1: while you're on your healing journey while you're learning how

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Speaker 1: to love yourself, learning how to take care of yourself.

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Speaker 1: I would hope, so, you know, I hope, I would

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00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:37,320
Speaker 1: hope that like folks and relationships are you know, constantly

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00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:42,560
Speaker 1: like working on themselves and each other. But I also know,

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00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:46,760
Speaker 1: like I watch enough reality TV to know it doesn't

427
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:48,959
Speaker 1: matter who you are what you do in life, like

428
00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:53,400
Speaker 1: there's somebody for everybody, and some of the most whacked

429
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:57,040
Speaker 1: out people like out there in the world have right

430
00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:02,760
Speaker 1: or die boyfriends and husbands and spouses and girlfriends, and

431
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:06,600
Speaker 1: so it's that thing of like there is a lot

432
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 1: of kind of like comfort and familiarity and like mutual chaos,

433
00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:16,959
Speaker 1: like sometimes like relationships thrive off of that just mutual dysfunction. Oh,

434
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 1: take me back to my early twenties. And so it's like,

435
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:26,520
Speaker 1: you know, that is definitely true, and I would hope

436
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:29,520
Speaker 1: that that. I think your relationship is a good example

437
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:34,000
Speaker 1: of like people who are working on themselves like constantly. Yeah,

438
00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:37,680
Speaker 1: I would say, yeah, yeah, we're both in therapy, we've

439
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:41,360
Speaker 1: been working on ourselves and then you know, by extension

440
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:44,359
Speaker 1: the relationship for years. But I think, yeah, like I've

441
00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:46,960
Speaker 1: met my partner when I wasn't ready to be in

442
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:49,600
Speaker 1: a relationship, but I was like, I think that this

443
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,360
Speaker 1: person is the person, and so I need to get

444
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:56,119
Speaker 1: my ship together. And I did to get ready to

445
00:26:56,200 --> 00:27:00,159
Speaker 1: get ready to be in this like stable relationship, so

446
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:01,800
Speaker 1: stable to the point that like the first year, I

447
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:04,679
Speaker 1: thought it was a boring relationship, remember, because I was

448
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:08,080
Speaker 1: so used to chaos that I was like, it's just

449
00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:13,040
Speaker 1: this normal? Is this boring? I was constantly questioning everything

450
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:16,399
Speaker 1: the first year until like you get settled and like,

451
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:19,280
Speaker 1: oh no, this is just like a healthy relationship where

452
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:21,800
Speaker 1: two people want to be together and there's no fighting,

453
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:25,840
Speaker 1: like obviously disagreements, but there's nothing volatile about the relationship.

454
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:29,000
Speaker 1: And I think but also on the flip side, like

455
00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:31,800
Speaker 1: he was at a point where he had done a

456
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:35,000
Speaker 1: lot of work, where had we met five years, but

457
00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:38,840
Speaker 1: prior it definitely would not have worked, like he was

458
00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:41,240
Speaker 1: a different person. So I think, yeah, I think it

459
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:45,720
Speaker 1: just depends on where people are on their respective journeys.

460
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:51,320
Speaker 1: Timing is everything. Timing is everything I think about too,

461
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:54,800
Speaker 1: Like m hmm, okay, So I feel like there are

462
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:59,400
Speaker 1: celebrities where like they were in wild relationships and then

463
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:03,360
Speaker 1: you see that celeb mature and grow and come out

464
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:05,719
Speaker 1: of it. I mean, I think Angelina Jolie is like

465
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:11,840
Speaker 1: one of the examples. I remember early Angelina, you know,

466
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:16,080
Speaker 1: Angelina and Billy Bob, Angelina and her brother Angelina and

467
00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:21,920
Speaker 1: the blood in the necklace Billy Bob's blood and then

468
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:25,439
Speaker 1: you know Brangelina, and like, I feel like Angelina was

469
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:33,240
Speaker 1: this projected to be this very wild, like weird, hyper

470
00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:40,000
Speaker 1: sexual vampi celeb back that you know, she has now

471
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:43,680
Speaker 1: come to be known as this like philanthropist and this

472
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:48,240
Speaker 1: speaker and someone who's like a leading lady and you know,

473
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 1: very poised, and it's just interesting and fascinating to watch,

474
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:57,280
Speaker 1: you know, the trajectory and how so much of that

475
00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:02,760
Speaker 1: image of her was rooted in her relationship specifically, you know,

476
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:05,640
Speaker 1: so like I look at her and then of course,

477
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:09,280
Speaker 1: you know, I think Brittany is an ever evolving person

478
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:12,880
Speaker 1: and situation. I think a lot of the like toxicity

479
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:15,600
Speaker 1: around Brittany's image was also like it was Kevin Federline

480
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:20,320
Speaker 1: and like the men that she was with um and

481
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 1: you know, she's been through so much and I feel

482
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:27,600
Speaker 1: like she's still evolving and figuring herself out now that

483
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:33,120
Speaker 1: the the conservative conservativeship has been lifted. He has been lifted,

484
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:36,320
Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, I mean there's a whole I don't

485
00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:38,160
Speaker 1: want to dive into it because it's all conspiracy. But

486
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:41,440
Speaker 1: there's like a whole conversation about Brittany happening on TikTok

487
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:45,200
Speaker 1: Um that I won't like I said, I won't dive into,

488
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:48,600
Speaker 1: but I think, yeah, that's that's She is like one

489
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:52,680
Speaker 1: example of you know, there's been all these like think

490
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:56,320
Speaker 1: pieces about how the media has done her wrong and

491
00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:59,600
Speaker 1: failed her back then, but then you see these other

492
00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:01,800
Speaker 1: example is like how it continues to do so with

493
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:04,400
Speaker 1: like me, the media specifically not with just her, but

494
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:08,680
Speaker 1: Amber heard and countless other women over the years. Like

495
00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:12,360
Speaker 1: nothing has really changed in regards to how society like

496
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:16,960
Speaker 1: views and projects lots of things onto women. Oh yeah,

497
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,400
Speaker 1: I feel like we have. It's like we still haven't

498
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:22,440
Speaker 1: learned her less and with Brittany. People are still big

499
00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:29,040
Speaker 1: me into Brittany. Yes, yeah, so I don't so, I

500
00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:34,320
Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know. Leave Britnie alone. Once again,

501
00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:41,680
Speaker 1: it's still relevant, still relevant, I know. Wow. Okay, any

502
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:45,320
Speaker 1: final thoughts on well, I guess okay, So we have

503
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:48,480
Speaker 1: this year Valentine's is coming up. Um. You know a

504
00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:50,800
Speaker 1: lot of people over the years have come up with

505
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:54,760
Speaker 1: different ways to celebrate the holiday. People will do gallantines,

506
00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:58,680
Speaker 1: people will do like speed dating, lonely hearts. People will

507
00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:03,200
Speaker 1: do your classic you know, dinner and a movie. What

508
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:06,920
Speaker 1: do you have going on for Valentine's this year? I'm

509
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 1: hosting a little Galantine's so are with some of my

510
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:15,280
Speaker 1: close friends. Of course you're invited, But I think, yeah,

511
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:18,680
Speaker 1: I'm trying to be very intentional about like hosting this year,

512
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:24,040
Speaker 1: like hosting my friends, spending time like away from just

513
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:27,680
Speaker 1: having like more intimate gatherings as opposed to you know,

514
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:29,440
Speaker 1: we go to an event, we go to a party,

515
00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 1: even like with you like so much of when we're

516
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 1: together we're working, right, and so how do we create

517
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:39,520
Speaker 1: space and time outside of the work life so that

518
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 1: we can have a friendship And so yeah, I think

519
00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:44,880
Speaker 1: I'm being very intentional. My goal is to be very

520
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:47,920
Speaker 1: intentional this year about having gatherings with like my very

521
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:51,000
Speaker 1: close friends. Um, because a lot of y'all are either

522
00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:53,560
Speaker 1: friends or like have just gotten to know each other

523
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 1: over the years and can vibe and you know, hang

524
00:31:56,720 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 1: out and there's no awkwardness or drama, so that's nice.

525
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:03,240
Speaker 1: But yeah, that's what I think I'm doing this year

526
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:07,720
Speaker 1: for Valentine's Day. Valentine's que cute. I got booked to

527
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:12,000
Speaker 1: do a stand up comedy show on Valentine's Day and

528
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:15,880
Speaker 1: I was free, so I said, yes, I will be there,

529
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 1: so um more details to come. It'll probably I'll be

530
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:23,240
Speaker 1: posting on my Instagram the flyer I'm at Mala Underscore

531
00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:25,640
Speaker 1: when if you want to come through, if you want

532
00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:28,719
Speaker 1: to get some giggles in on Valentine's Day. Also, you know,

533
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:32,240
Speaker 1: I am still dating the guy that I'm atta the

534
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:35,800
Speaker 1: Torty Ship Air and he's planning something for us. It's

535
00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:38,840
Speaker 1: not going to be on Valentine's Day proper because he's filming.

536
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:40,680
Speaker 1: He's going to be out of town, but he is

537
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:45,160
Speaker 1: planning something for us, and I will update you guys. Okay,

538
00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:48,560
Speaker 1: I can't wait. It sounds sounds juicy, So I'm excited.

539
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:53,840
Speaker 1: I know. I know we're really into like experienced based

540
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:58,400
Speaker 1: outings and activities these days. Yeah, and I'm like filling

541
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:01,080
Speaker 1: people in on my TikTok. I'm just wanting. I'm just

542
00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:04,800
Speaker 1: trying to be one of the like dating content girlies.

543
00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:08,320
Speaker 1: You know, yeah, I feel like you have like kind

544
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:11,320
Speaker 1: of documented stuff over the years, like whether that be

545
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:15,560
Speaker 1: through the podcast or your social like with happenings. Yeah,

546
00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:18,360
Speaker 1: we're just making it official. So I'm at Mala underscore

547
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:21,600
Speaker 1: when I talked about my first date with the Tortilla

548
00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:23,920
Speaker 1: Chip air. If you guys are not on TikTok, go

549
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:26,640
Speaker 1: check it out. It was actually super fun. He took

550
00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:29,320
Speaker 1: me to the same doctor that that did Chloe Kardashian's

551
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:32,760
Speaker 1: brain scan, and I got my own brain scan. It

552
00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:38,920
Speaker 1: was really romantic. I have no questions. They're good. I'm

553
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:45,280
Speaker 1: letting that one go. Yeah, you can inform me later. Um,

554
00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:49,520
Speaker 1: so let us know what you think about amor propio,

555
00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:55,080
Speaker 1: self love, self care and like, how has that evolved

556
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:57,440
Speaker 1: for you over the years, How are you defining it,

557
00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:00,600
Speaker 1: how are you practicing it in your own life now?

558
00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:07,160
Speaker 1: How are you loving yourself? Boom boom. You can always

559
00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:09,879
Speaker 1: visit our website look at radio dot com and leave

560
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:13,120
Speaker 1: us a speak pipe voice memo to talk about how

561
00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:16,520
Speaker 1: you're loving on yourself now and forever. I love that.

562
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:18,879
Speaker 1: I love that. Well, thank you so much for tuning

563
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:22,560
Speaker 1: in to another look at Radio. We'll catch you next time.

564
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:28,319
Speaker 1: Look at That Our Radio is a production of look

565
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:31,400
Speaker 1: At That our Productions in partnership with I Hearts Michael

566
00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:35,239
Speaker 1: podcast Network. For more podcast listen to the I Heart

567
00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:38,920
Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your

568
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:56,480
Speaker 1: favorite shows. Us look at Radio radio phonic novel posted

569
00:34:56,600 --> 00:35:43,680
Speaker 1: by Malam and then take us to your network