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Speaker 1: And even though I left and I met both my sisters,

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Speaker 1: both of them did not tell me what Robert had

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Speaker 1: done to them.

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Speaker 2: I had no idea.

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Speaker 3: Welcome back to forgive me for I have followed. I'm

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Speaker 3: Jess Cassavetto, executive producer of the Netflix series Dancing for

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Speaker 3: the Devil the Seven M TikTok Cult. This documentary series

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Speaker 3: explored the story of Robert Shin, the La based Chakina

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Speaker 3: Church and Seven M Films. Shin founded Chakaina Church over

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Speaker 3: two decades ago before establishing seven M Films and is

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Speaker 3: named in a civil lawsuit alleging abuse and cult like behavior.

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Speaker 4: And I'm Clia Gray, former member of Chakina Church and

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Speaker 4: Seven M Films. So last episode, Priscilla joined us to

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Speaker 4: tell us more of her dealings with Hkaina, especially in

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Speaker 4: those earlier days, the days that we've been calling Chicina

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Speaker 4: one point zero. In the second part of our conversation,

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Speaker 4: Priscilla is going to share with us what ultimately led

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Speaker 4: her to leave the church and the impact that the

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Speaker 4: documentary has had on her life.

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Speaker 2: Since its release.

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Speaker 4: Now here's the continuation of our conversation with Priscilla. I

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Speaker 4: know you had left and came back a couple of

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Speaker 4: different times. So can you explain to us the internal

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Speaker 4: conflict that you had between your faith and your personal safety,

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Speaker 4: wanting to leave so many times, and then also what

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Speaker 4: ultimately led to you leaving.

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Speaker 1: I joined Chicina in ninety nine, and I left in

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Speaker 1: less than a year because I had come from Korea

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Speaker 1: and I came on tourist visa, and having lived in

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Speaker 1: America prior from like ninety one to ninety four as

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Speaker 1: an illegal immigrant, I was always in fear. And you know,

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Speaker 1: I've always loved to study. I want to become a doctor.

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Speaker 1: But then I realized, ooh, I suck in science.

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Speaker 2: Right, So I'm like, let scratch that.

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Speaker 1: In Korean order is doctor attorney and then like dentists

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Speaker 1: or accountant, right, So I was like, attorney, Okay, I

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Speaker 1: think I can do this, you know. And I've always

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Speaker 1: had that aspiration of I want to do something for

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Speaker 1: myself and travel the world and make a difference.

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Speaker 2: So when I came back in ninety nine and I saw.

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Speaker 1: That there was no way for me to become legal

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Speaker 1: immediately and go to college, I want to go back

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Speaker 1: to Korea. And I said, you know what, let me

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Speaker 1: just find another way. But I want to be in

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Speaker 1: a safe place, like I don't want to be running away.

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Speaker 1: I'm tired, like I don't want to live according to

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Speaker 1: the standards that my parents said for me, because I'm

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Speaker 1: over eighteen now. And I said that to Robert, and

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Speaker 1: he didn't want me to leave. He wanted me to stay.

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Speaker 1: And at that time, I had applied for my Social

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Speaker 1: Security card and then I applied for driver's license and

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Speaker 1: I had gotten the temporary drivers license that they give

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Speaker 1: you every three months, and I was waiting for the

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Speaker 1: permanent one that comes like for three years, and that

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Speaker 1: wasn't coming. So for me, that was like a sign.

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Speaker 1: Maybe guy's telling me I should go back to Korea

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Speaker 1: and just start. No, it's fine, just start a new

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Speaker 1: life there. Right, Robert was against it, and at that

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Speaker 1: point I've already had seen him as a very respectable figure.

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Speaker 1: So I was thinking to myself, I'm rebelling again. He's right,

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Speaker 1: but I can't help but rebel. I have a rebelling problem.

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Speaker 1: I'm impulsive because that's what I was told my whole life. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So I left and then I think a month or

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Speaker 1: two months in, my sister called and said hey, your

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Speaker 1: driver's sciencest came back.

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Speaker 2: God did this through pastor.

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Speaker 1: So now I'm going I heard wrong. I need to

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Speaker 1: repent to Robert. So then I come back six months

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Speaker 1: later and I get my card, and you know, he

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Speaker 1: loves to rub that in your face side point really quick.

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Speaker 1: I think I suffered a lot more in Choicina because

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Speaker 1: I disobeyed Robert in many ways and he hates that

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Speaker 1: and he made his life mission to make my life miserable.

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Speaker 1: But anyways, so I come back and then my little

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Speaker 1: sister is like, they're so good to me, YadA, YadA, YadA.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to get into that because I get

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Speaker 1: really really upset.

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Speaker 2: And then I.

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Speaker 1: Said, fine, you know, I just turned twenty twenty one.

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Speaker 1: I came back in two thousand and I said, fuck,

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Speaker 1: I'm just turning twenty one. I could drink legally, and

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Speaker 1: now I can't drink anymore.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: So I was like kind of pissed, but myself, okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: die to myself, die to myself. You know, she kind

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Speaker 1: of teaching died to myself thinking as a privilege.

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Speaker 2: You know. So anyways, I never had many clubbing years.

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Speaker 1: All right, just just FYI and then she kind of

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Speaker 1: started getting really popular. In two thousand and two thousand

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Speaker 1: and one, that's when Hannah's sister Susan joined Ryan Daniel, Susan, Chrissy,

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Speaker 1: you know, Shirley, you name it, like all the main

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Speaker 1: members of Kina that are a certain position. That's when

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Speaker 1: they joined. And it was like a robber called their revival.

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Speaker 1: But then in two thousand and four, Catherine's husband, Thomas Yee,

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Speaker 1: committed suicide, and there was all this other stuff too,

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Speaker 1: so it's never one thing right. So Catherine went crazy.

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Speaker 1: She lost it and she got really nasty. If you

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Speaker 1: thought she was an evil stepmother prior to that. Times

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Speaker 1: that by ten and I started again what they call

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Speaker 1: rebelling because I couldn't handle the pressure. I was going

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Speaker 1: really into depression. I was acting out. I started dying

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Speaker 1: my hair black. And she started saying they had a

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Speaker 1: demon in me. You know, you know what you do

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Speaker 1: in your early twenties. You want to act out, but

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Speaker 1: you can't do drugs because you're in a church. Just

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Speaker 1: dye your hair and listen to Usher. Okay. I started

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Speaker 1: listening to Usher and I dyed my hair black. That

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Speaker 1: was like the two things they said I'm like demon possessed.

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Speaker 2: Okay, that's crazy, so she will call me meetings. They

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Speaker 2: were overworking me.

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Speaker 1: I was only given a half a sandwich allowed for lunch,

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Speaker 1: so I started having a lot of weight problems because

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Speaker 1: I was gaining weight because I wasn't given enough food.

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Speaker 1: So then whenever I saw food, if I saw a

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Speaker 1: giant bag of chips, I'll eat the whole thing in

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Speaker 1: one sitting. So it was like my body was just

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Speaker 1: having like huge reactions to it. So she wiped me

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Speaker 1: out of everything I had, since the cell phone was

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Speaker 1: under their name, the car was under their name, the clothes.

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Speaker 1: She took everything out when she knew I was leaving

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Speaker 1: and she said get out. So again, I left my

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Speaker 1: sisters there and I left, and I left with I'm rebelling.

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Speaker 2: I can't handle the pressure, like I'm going to go

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Speaker 2: to hell.

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Speaker 1: But it was so bad in there that you know,

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Speaker 1: it was like I rather go to hell than stay here.

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Speaker 1: But internally, the idea that they're crazy people never entered

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Speaker 1: my mind because it was already.

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Speaker 2: Embedded in me. God gave me them because God loves me.

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Speaker 2: So I left.

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Speaker 1: I did really well financially. It was like the boom

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Speaker 1: of mortgage in real estate. So I left two thousand

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Speaker 1: and four, and I didn't know this at the time,

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Speaker 1: but I know now, just growing up with so much trauma,

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Speaker 1: I was still caring it because I never healed and

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Speaker 1: I never told anybody what I and through she kind

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Speaker 1: of church, because I was like, they're holy, I should

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Speaker 1: not speak evil. If that comes out of my mouth.

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Speaker 1: If I die today, I'm going to go to Hell.

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Speaker 1: So that teaching was already in me, so I never

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Speaker 1: told anybody about it. Right, So this two thousand and

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Speaker 1: five and then two thousand and eight, the church split

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Speaker 1: and I get a call.

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Speaker 2: From both my sisters.

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Speaker 1: Joan was very close to Catherine, and obviously I didn't

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Speaker 1: like Catherine that much because she put me through although

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Speaker 1: I kept telling myself, you know, she meant well, she

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Speaker 1: meant well. And I didn't know Robert at all at

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Speaker 1: that point, you know. So when I got a call

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Speaker 1: from both sisters, me being very close to Melanie since

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Speaker 1: she was a baby, and me I always arguing with

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Speaker 1: my older sister, I chose to call Melanie back and

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Speaker 1: not Joan, and Robert showed up as God saying I

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Speaker 1: didn't know you left. I didn't know, Catherine, I kicked

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Speaker 1: you out, and.

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Speaker 2: I believe that. Fuck, I believe that, you know, and

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Speaker 2: mind you. This was two thousand and eight, so the.

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Speaker 1: Recession had hit the world wasn't turmoil, you know, there's

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Speaker 1: amount of stretched and I was twenty eight.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: I've been surviving on my own and it was really

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Speaker 1: tough and carrying the trauma, never healing, never talking about it,

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Speaker 1: just crying on my own time my closet once in

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Speaker 1: a while, you know, thinking it'll go away or.

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Speaker 2: Maybe it's just you know.

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Speaker 1: So I went back in two thousand and eight December,

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Speaker 1: and my sister's raving about Robert. So Melanie is saying

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Speaker 1: Robert is amazing, you know, And I'm not knowing why

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Speaker 1: she's saying that, because obviously she was instructed don't tell

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Speaker 1: your older sister. So I joined and then the sexual

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Speaker 1: abuse started shortly after. And it's one of those things

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Speaker 1: that only a person that has gone through it can understand.

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Speaker 1: There are some people that when it happens to them,

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Speaker 1: they like jump and be like, oh my God, don't

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Speaker 1: touch me, and they just break down and cry. I

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Speaker 1: had such high thick walls because of the trauma that

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Speaker 1: I had my whole life that I was more like.

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Speaker 2: Let me just get through this. I'm sure it won't

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Speaker 2: happen again.

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Speaker 1: It was one of those you're like, oh, let me

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Speaker 1: just tiptoe around this situation. But I couldn't handle it

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Speaker 1: because I knew it was wrong. But then I was

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Speaker 1: so confused. Why would God answer my prayer and bring

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Speaker 1: me back to Chicaina If she Kina was evil, I

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Speaker 1: must not be seeing something right.

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Speaker 2: And when I joined, Chloe had joined.

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Speaker 1: So he used to say, when the church split and

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Speaker 1: the evil left, Heaven's open and my long lost daughter

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Speaker 1: that I've been wanting to see my whole life and

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Speaker 1: Priscilla both came at the same time. So I'm like, whoa, whoa,

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Speaker 1: Like I'm equaling your daughter again, not having parents right right,

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Speaker 1: you know, you're like, oh shit, like I you know,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, I feel like I could fit in somewhere.

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Speaker 1: But then I couldn't handle the airbus. I left in

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Speaker 1: twenty twelve. But again this is the problem. I never

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Speaker 1: told anybody. And even though I left and I met

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Speaker 1: both my sisters, both of them did not tell me

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Speaker 1: what Robert had done to them.

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Speaker 2: I had no idea.

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Speaker 1: So here I am just going, oh, you know, he's

201
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Speaker 1: like King David, He's like King Solomony. No, it's okay,

202
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Speaker 1: it's okay, you know. And I get just growing up

203
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Speaker 1: with so much trauma in you, the last thing you

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Speaker 1: want to do is talk about what you went.

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Speaker 2: Through with your sister. We just wish you can forget,

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Speaker 2: so you.

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Speaker 1: Know, and they're like, oh my god, we all left

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Speaker 1: and you know we're fine, having no idea.

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Speaker 2: I was still like so brainwashed, and.

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Speaker 1: I got really really depressed and suicidal't twenty fourteen, and

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Speaker 1: I prayed to God and I said, God, I need help.

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Speaker 1: So then I reached out to Robert because I had

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Speaker 1: nobody again, like you know, because we still has some

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Speaker 1: communication and he kind of always keeps like his spidy

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Speaker 1: fingers on you.

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Speaker 2: And I went back and.

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Speaker 1: Like hell, broke loose because Robert was like, you rejected

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Speaker 1: me sexually, I'm gonna make it pay.

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Speaker 2: And he did, and.

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Speaker 1: Then I left him twenty two because Hannah came to

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Speaker 1: my room and she came to like attack me. This

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Speaker 1: was when Kalia you guys all had gone to like

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Speaker 1: Yosemite or something. He cleaned out the church like Shirley

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Speaker 1: had gone on a trip.

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Speaker 2: You the dancers have gone on a trip.

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Speaker 1: It was empty, and I mean, I'm a psalm the

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Speaker 1: tongue of property by myself. Okay, they show up, there's

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Speaker 1: nobody there. She assaults me, and then Robert shows up

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Speaker 1: after and looks at what she did to my room.

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Speaker 1: She tore apart my room, and he goes, Hannah did

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Speaker 1: nothing wrong. So here I am in my room, Kalia.

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Speaker 1: I look behind in one of my windows, the sliding

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Speaker 1: glass door, and you see the basketball court up there

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Speaker 1: in the mountain. And I said, and this is a

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Speaker 1: thought that came to me. They're gonna kill me and

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Speaker 1: bury me in this mountain and nobody's gonna know because

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Speaker 1: I haven't talked to anybody. And that's when I said,

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Speaker 1: all right, I guess I'm leaving because I'm not dying

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Speaker 1: like this. Yeah, And I left, still praying God please

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Speaker 1: open up my pastor's eyes. It took me a month

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Speaker 1: of my older sister who I went to live with,

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Speaker 1: very gently talking to me.

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Speaker 2: So then one day I woke up and this is

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Speaker 2: what I heard. He's a con artist. That's what I

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Speaker 2: heard the minute I woke up. That is the beginning

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Speaker 2: of the floor is being pulled under me. The sky's

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Speaker 2: disappearing like that was it. And then I said, how.

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Speaker 4: After the break we continue our conversation with Priscilla. This

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Speaker 4: is forgive me for I have followed. We'll be right back.

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Speaker 3: Welcome back to forgive me for I have followed. Now

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Speaker 3: back to our conversation with Priscilla. Thank you for sharing

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Speaker 3: that first and foremost, because I know that this is

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Speaker 3: not easy when we're asking you these questions and asking

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Speaker 3: you to relive and then go way back into something

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Speaker 3: that you've been working so hard to heal from. And

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Speaker 3: so even though you are using your voice and you

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Speaker 3: are using it to kind of expose these things, it

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Speaker 3: doesn't make that process less difficult. So I just want

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Speaker 3: to let you know I appreciate you for taking the

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Speaker 3: time to do that and going back when we started

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Speaker 3: filming the documentary, you were still in there and so

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Speaker 3: now also hearing it, knowing that as we're looking into

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Speaker 3: the church, knowing that these things are happening to you

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Speaker 3: breaks my heart. But after you left in twenty twenty two,

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Speaker 3: if you made the decision to share your story publicly

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Speaker 3: with the documentary, what was that tipping point that made

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Speaker 3: you feel ready to open up and speak about your

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Speaker 3: experience in the documentary. Can you describe a little bit

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Speaker 3: of that.

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Speaker 1: I didn't want it this as documentary because I was

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Speaker 1: just like, wait a minute, wait a minute. I just

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Speaker 1: got out, like what do you guys want from me?

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Speaker 1: Like you know, like hold on, like just make this

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Speaker 1: about Miranda. Do not make me a post a trial

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Speaker 1: for a cult. Koreans will judge me forever and ever

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Speaker 1: and ever, you know. But then Derek was very persistent,

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Speaker 1: he really believed in this story, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: leave me alone. I'm not discounting who you are as

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Speaker 1: a person, but this is not the story that you

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Speaker 1: think it is. I grew up a very conservative Korean Christian,

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Speaker 1: and a female Korean Christian does not speak ever about

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Speaker 1: the difficulties she goes through in her life. Most definitely

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Speaker 1: nothing to shame her culture. That's my viewpoint. His view

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Speaker 1: point was like, no, people need to need the story.

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Speaker 1: And then I got into a car accident. I was

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Speaker 1: coming out of the mall.

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Speaker 2: I made a left. It was green.

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Speaker 1: A car was driving very fast. He was supposed to

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Speaker 1: make a ride and said he made a stray.

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Speaker 2: He hits me.

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Speaker 1: I turned a three sixty plus my car just spins,

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Speaker 1: hits a sidewalk, it falls sideways. As I'm seeing my

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Speaker 1: car spin, I go Jesus and I come out not

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Speaker 1: even a scratch. And this was right after Robert got

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Speaker 1: served his lawsuit papers. And I said, motherfucker, because I'm thinking,

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Speaker 1: is this a curse?

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Speaker 2: Like he cursed me?

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Speaker 1: Right I came out of the car. I'm like kind

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Speaker 1: of shaking, but like you know, just in shock. Two ambulances,

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Speaker 1: like all these people looking at me, and I come

301
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Speaker 1: out and I hear God say to me, see nobody

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Speaker 1: can touch you.

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Speaker 2: And I was so angry, I said, but they almost did,

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Speaker 2: you know. I'm just like pits.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, is this what I'm gonna have to

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Speaker 1: go through life? Like face all these challenges and then

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Speaker 1: walk out clean? Can I just not have any challenges?

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Speaker 2: Can I not?

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Speaker 1: And then once I got myself together and processed like

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Speaker 1: my tears, you know, and I'm like screaming on calling

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Speaker 1: my sister many money, Oh my god, I almost died

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Speaker 1: and she's like what happened?

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, I got a car accident.

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Speaker 1: I almost die and She's like, hold on, Devin just

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Speaker 1: fell and ripped her chin I'm at the hospital, give

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Speaker 1: me a second.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, God got me.

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Speaker 1: So, like Melane is having to be a mom to

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Speaker 1: her older sister and her child, right, So that's what

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Speaker 1: was going on. And then after I got myself together,

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Speaker 1: I said, even if I die, I'm gonna help people

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Speaker 1: get out of that place.

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Speaker 2: So that was it.

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Speaker 1: You know, whether Robbert caused a passent or not, that happened,

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Speaker 1: and my car was totaled obviously. And I guess when

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Speaker 1: you face a near death experience, like actually face it,

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Speaker 1: not just your head or like not just somebody threatening you,

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Speaker 1: but you actually face it, you realize that you're okay

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Speaker 1: with it, but I still have some unfinished business, right.

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Speaker 4: I'm so glad you were able to make it out

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Speaker 4: of that okay. But I'm grateful that it led you

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Speaker 4: to the decision to speak out about it, because you

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Speaker 4: had mentioned when you had left before you didn't tell

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Speaker 4: anybody or just not speaking up about it.

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Speaker 2: You kept it to yourself.

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Speaker 4: And I think that potentially, not just necessarily for you,

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Speaker 4: but in general, can lead people back to prior behaviors because,

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Speaker 4: like you said, they never fully process it, they never

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Speaker 4: fully speak about it, so it's still there. And so

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Speaker 4: as scary as the near death experience is, I'm glad

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Speaker 4: it led you to being able to share your story

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Speaker 4: and actually open up about it so the healing process

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Speaker 4: can really begin.

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Speaker 3: And I also know so many people, Priscilla, that have

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Speaker 3: talked about you in the documentary and how powerful it was,

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Speaker 3: because I think, to Derek's credit and to his point,

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Speaker 3: it's very rare that you get the opportunity because exactly

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Speaker 3: most people are processing that at their own time, that

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Speaker 3: someone would allow themselves to be vulnerable as you're going

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Speaker 3: through it in real time healing. That vulnerability that people

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Speaker 3: are seeing on screen is real.

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Speaker 2: It's raw.

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Speaker 3: It was so powerful and healing for a lot of people.

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Speaker 1: The documentary has made a huge, huge impact on how

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Speaker 1: I think, how I process my goals in life. And

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Speaker 1: somehow I'm in this position as somebody who went through

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Speaker 1: something tragic that has become known by billions of people

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Speaker 1: because of the dancers, and somehow, some way, this person

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Speaker 1: that was very close minded and quiet and private has

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Speaker 1: decided to change the trajectory of her life and say

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Speaker 1: I am actually now going to dedicate a portion of

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Speaker 1: my life into helping others heal and get out from

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Speaker 1: this black hole that circumstances have created for them in

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Speaker 1: their lives, because getting out from is the hardest part. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I feel like I was forgotten during my years in Chicaga.

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Speaker 1: Not that that's actually what happened, right, because I have

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Speaker 1: friends that reached out to me and I would just

368
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Speaker 1: cut them off. I was just very good at cutting

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Speaker 1: them off, right, Because I feel that way. I know

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Speaker 1: how it feels, and I don't want anybody to ever

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Speaker 1: feel that.

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Speaker 2: So I think it's very important to me.

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Speaker 4: When we return the conclusion of our conversation with Priscilla,

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Speaker 4: this is forgive me for I have followed.

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Speaker 2: Welcome back.

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Speaker 4: Here's the conclusion of our conversation with Priscilla. So, looking

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Speaker 4: back through your entire healing journey, how do you feel

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Speaker 4: now about your faith and your family and your future faith?

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Speaker 1: You know, I hope I don't offend anybody when to

380
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Speaker 1: hear this, But the word Jesus is a bit allergic

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Speaker 1: to me. And that's because Jesus is kind of synonymous

382
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Speaker 1: to Robert Still, you know, So I don't like to

383
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Speaker 1: hear his name or say it, but I do believe

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Speaker 1: in God, the only guy that I was ever taught

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Speaker 1: about was a guy in the Bible.

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Speaker 2: So I'm going to stick with.

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Speaker 1: That for now, and I'm going to allow things to

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Speaker 1: just play out. When it comes to my faith, faith

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Speaker 1: in the Good God is so important, Okay. The problem

390
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Speaker 1: is is there are a lot of manopulative people that

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Speaker 1: use that to trick and con people, and so I

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Speaker 1: really need to like pull back and learn from myself.

393
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Speaker 1: But I cannot pick up a Bible right now the

394
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Speaker 1: opening that will make me cry. So that's where I

395
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Speaker 1: am in my faith journey. Family. You know, I love

396
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Speaker 1: my little sister Melanie, and she has two girls, the

397
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:06,160
Speaker 1: cutest things. Ah, I love them, and to think it positively,

398
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Speaker 1: I say, my sister suffered so I can enjoy the girls,

399
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Speaker 1: you know, because pregnancy is tough, raising them is tough.

400
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Speaker 1: And here I come just whatever I feel like it,

401
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:16,840
Speaker 1: and I miss them.

402
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Speaker 2: I just going like yay and then I go bye.

403
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:23,320
Speaker 2: I'm going to my bed, no my bad, with no interruption,

404
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,960
Speaker 2: nobody crying the midnight, you know. So that's kind of

405
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Speaker 2: where I'm at.

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Speaker 1: I still have an older sister and it's so sad

407
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Speaker 1: that I can't have a relationship with her right now.

408
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,920
Speaker 1: We haven't talked a long time since I left her

409
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Speaker 1: home in August. I think it was the twenty two.

410
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Speaker 1: We haven't talked, and I don't want to say anything

411
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Speaker 1: negative about her, but she's still brainwashed because she doesn't

412
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Speaker 1: talk to anybody. She hides in her house waiting for

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Speaker 1: Jesus to come. You know, like that's like she kind

414
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Speaker 1: of two point zh or three point oher You're reliving,

415
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Speaker 1: you know, the cult life. And then she's married to Joshua,

416
00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:01,600
Speaker 1: who was a minister star at that church. And you know,

417
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:04,320
Speaker 1: Joshua takes no responsibility for what he has done. And

418
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Speaker 1: he's the one that brought all those people. He's the

419
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Speaker 1: one that people looked up and respected so they joined Chicina.

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Speaker 1: No fault to him. You know, he also was brainwashed,

421
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Speaker 1: but dude, take some accountability, you know what I mean.

422
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Speaker 1: But anyways, so I'm allergic to narcissistic people.

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Speaker 2: And then I have parents. You know, I've I've gotten.

424
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Speaker 1: A little bit of hate from people that I'll run

425
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Speaker 1: into in the street because of what happened to my

426
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:38,760
Speaker 1: dad's meeting in a documentary where they're like, oh my god,

427
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Speaker 1: she told her that don't touch me, don't touch me.

428
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Speaker 1: I haven't shared what my dad has done to me

429
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Speaker 1: and my sisters. Melanie and I did discuss it, but

430
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Speaker 1: it was a very hard conversation and I'm not sure

431
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Speaker 1: if all I'll be able to do a YouTube about it.

432
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Speaker 1: But it's so sad. You think my time is Chikinda

433
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Speaker 1: was bad. Yeah, this definitely outdoes it.

434
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Speaker 2: And so my.

435
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Speaker 1: Relationship with my dad, I want him to have the

436
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:12,760
Speaker 1: best life, and I want him to really reflect on

437
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Speaker 1: what he has done and caused to his daughters. And

438
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:18,640
Speaker 1: I'll be very sad on the day that he does

439
00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:21,320
Speaker 1: pass because he's, you know, like seventy eight now.

440
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:25,080
Speaker 2: And then my mom. You know, I love my mom.

441
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:29,320
Speaker 1: I've always loved my mom, but being an adult female

442
00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:36,640
Speaker 1: now I can honestly say she cannot be trusted. And

443
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 1: it's hard to have a relationship with somebody that you

444
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:46,680
Speaker 1: know she's going to try to find a way to

445
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:52,439
Speaker 1: can you somehow, some way, and so I hate that.

446
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:55,160
Speaker 1: I don't care how close you are to me, what

447
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:58,639
Speaker 1: blood relation you have to me, It is not okay

448
00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:01,000
Speaker 1: for you to hurt somebody. Don't don't care who it is.

449
00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:03,879
Speaker 1: I might never meet the person you heard. But again,

450
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 1: it goes back to the foundation that I have what

451
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:08,399
Speaker 1: I pray to God, and I said, use me for

452
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:11,720
Speaker 1: your glory. And the knowledge that I got from that

453
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 1: prayer was humans are my glory. I love them and

454
00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:20,320
Speaker 1: so it is not for me to say what's okay

455
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,760
Speaker 1: was not okay. Evil is evil, wrong is wrong, and

456
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,199
Speaker 1: I will not stand next to anybody, I don't care

457
00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:28,399
Speaker 1: how close you are to me, and allow you to

458
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 1: do that to somebody. And unfortunately, unfortunately, my parents are

459
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:36,560
Speaker 1: people that have hurt a lot of.

460
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:40,359
Speaker 2: People throughout their lives. But on the bright side, I

461
00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:41,360
Speaker 2: have amazing friends.

462
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:45,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I used to say God didn't bless

463
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,000
Speaker 1: me with the family, but he blessed me with great friends.

464
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,520
Speaker 2: Your chosen family, Yeah, chosen family.

465
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 3: Well, I do have to say, just to wrap this

466
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:55,840
Speaker 3: all out, I just want to share this story. I

467
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:57,680
Speaker 3: don't know exactly who was in the room at the time,

468
00:24:57,720 --> 00:24:59,520
Speaker 3: but we met with some of the dancers in our

469
00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:02,320
Speaker 3: office while we were filming this and a big reason

470
00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:06,280
Speaker 3: why Melanie did the documentary was because of the love

471
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:09,600
Speaker 3: that she had for you. And she has this hard exterior,

472
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:14,840
Speaker 3: but Melanie loves her family so much and would do

473
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:18,240
Speaker 3: anything for them. And I'll never forget this moment. We're

474
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:21,199
Speaker 3: sitting in the conference room and Mel had heard that

475
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 3: you had left. There was rumors about you leaving, but

476
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:27,000
Speaker 3: she couldn't get in contact with you. And while we're

477
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:30,520
Speaker 3: sitting in that conference room, she just had to ask

478
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:32,920
Speaker 3: at the end of it, have you guys seen my sister?

479
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:34,520
Speaker 2: Is she okay? Is she safe?

480
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:38,119
Speaker 3: And the name that she was using the dancers didn't

481
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,680
Speaker 3: know that was your name. There was two separate names,

482
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:44,119
Speaker 3: so there was confusion, and so she starts to describe you.

483
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:47,000
Speaker 3: And it was the first time, because Mel puts on

484
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:50,439
Speaker 3: pretty hard exterior, it was the first time that I

485
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:53,679
Speaker 3: just got to observe her have this moment of relief

486
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:58,040
Speaker 3: when they confirmed that you had left, and immediately I

487
00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:00,560
Speaker 3: think she went outside and she was made making phone

488
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:03,280
Speaker 3: calls like it was this reassurance that she knew that

489
00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:05,560
Speaker 3: you had gotten out and she was going to do

490
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:07,639
Speaker 3: everything in her power to make sure you were okay.

491
00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:10,760
Speaker 3: And so I hope that's okay. I share that story,

492
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:13,880
Speaker 3: but it just was so powerful to me that we

493
00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:19,040
Speaker 3: were doing something that hopefully could provide good and reunite families,

494
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:21,800
Speaker 3: which was what this was about, and provide a safe

495
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:25,719
Speaker 3: space for people. So again, thank you for being so

496
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:29,600
Speaker 3: strong and being so big hearted, and like you said,

497
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:33,639
Speaker 3: you want to do things for good, and you said

498
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:35,960
Speaker 3: that from when you were younger. I mean, you wanting

499
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,240
Speaker 3: to be a doctor to help other people. It just

500
00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:41,200
Speaker 3: speaks volumes about your heart and that's who you are.

501
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:45,359
Speaker 3: And so yes, you've gone through some really fucked up shit,

502
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:47,080
Speaker 3: but that's always been you.

503
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:47,080
Speaker 2: You.

504
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:50,280
Speaker 3: Lee's sisters have just big, big hearts, and the love

505
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:51,760
Speaker 3: that you have for each other and the love that

506
00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:55,240
Speaker 3: you have for other people is just infectious and very apparent.

507
00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:58,080
Speaker 3: So thank you for doing this documentary. Thank you for

508
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:02,040
Speaker 3: doing this podcast, your vulnerability and continuing to use your

509
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:02,879
Speaker 3: voice for good.

510
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:06,600
Speaker 2: Thank you. No, I made up my mile. I wasn't

511
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:10,080
Speaker 2: gonna cry on this one. I think I did pretty good. Great, great,

512
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:11,440
Speaker 2: that's the very end.

513
00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 3: I cry every other one. So just for the record,

514
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:16,600
Speaker 3: I was crying earlier.

515
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:19,400
Speaker 2: I just kept it together this time. Yeah.

516
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,439
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I really appreciate getting to reconnect with you

517
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:25,200
Speaker 4: and kind of you know, going back over. I think

518
00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:29,320
Speaker 4: that's something that doing this podcast has I won't necessarily

519
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:31,880
Speaker 4: say retriggered, but having to relive certain aspects of it,

520
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:35,320
Speaker 4: and then I always enjoy getting to have people that

521
00:27:35,359 --> 00:27:38,640
Speaker 4: were like around Chicino when I was around, because there's

522
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:41,159
Speaker 4: just more of that cammaraderie there, and then also just

523
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:43,920
Speaker 4: that understanding, like, yes, I do remember when we said

524
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:46,600
Speaker 4: money cometh to me now, and you know, I really,

525
00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:50,160
Speaker 4: I really, and I had totally forgotten about that until

526
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:51,240
Speaker 4: you said it just now and I was like, oh

527
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:54,040
Speaker 4: my god, we did that every service. You're right, like,

528
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:57,399
Speaker 4: so just thank you so much for your time. And

529
00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:00,399
Speaker 4: this has been really healing for me just on a

530
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,800
Speaker 4: personal level. And so I appreciate that we were able

531
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:05,479
Speaker 4: to have this conversation that can reach others and you know,

532
00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:07,679
Speaker 4: make a change and do something like make this shitty

533
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,880
Speaker 4: situation a powerful thing that we can use to actually

534
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:12,320
Speaker 4: change people's lives for the better.

535
00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:14,439
Speaker 2: Yes, thank you, Thank you.

536
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:25,000
Speaker 3: We'd like to thank Priscilla for sharing her story with

537
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 3: us on today's episode. We truly appreciate her courage and

538
00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:31,000
Speaker 3: speaking about her experience, and we wish her all the

539
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:34,240
Speaker 3: best on her future endeavors and her healing journey.

540
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:37,160
Speaker 4: Forgive Me For I Have Followed is a production from

541
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:41,840
Speaker 4: wv Sound, Dirty Robert and iHeartMedia's Michael Tore podcast network,

542
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:43,680
Speaker 4: hosted by me Khalia Gray.

543
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:45,000
Speaker 3: And me Jess Cosavetto.

544
00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:47,360
Speaker 4: Forgive Me For I Have Followed is produced by Aaron

545
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:49,560
Speaker 4: Burlson and Sophie Spencer Zavos.

546
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:54,080
Speaker 3: Our executive producers are Khalia Gray, myself, Walmer Balderama, Leo Clem,

547
00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:56,320
Speaker 3: and Aaron Burlison at WV Sound.

548
00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:59,760
Speaker 4: This episode was edited by Sean Tracy and features original

549
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 4: met music by Madison Davenport and Halo Boy. For more

550
00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:07,080
Speaker 4: podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or

551
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:08,920
Speaker 4: wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

552
00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:10,800
Speaker 3: See you next week, See you next week,