WEBVTT - Garrett and Nicole McNamara 0:00:02.640 --> 0:00:04.000 From Umbria to Tuscany. 0:00:04.640 --> 0:00:06.199 It really is beautiful to studying. 0:00:06.240 --> 0:00:07.760 Well great, I'm going to come and visit you. Then 0:00:07.880 --> 0:00:10.680 I'm going to love it. You're there, Come on, do 0:00:10.800 --> 0:00:13.280 you Palaria Daliana Pioglo. 0:00:18.560 --> 0:00:18.919 Love it? 0:00:20.280 --> 0:00:24.320 Hello, I'm mini driver. I've always loved Preust's questionnaire. 0:00:24.800 --> 0:00:28.960 It was originally an nineteenth century parlor game where players 0:00:29.000 --> 0:00:32.960 would ask each other thirty five questions aimed at revealing. 0:00:32.479 --> 0:00:36.199 The other player's true nature. In asking different people the 0:00:36.240 --> 0:00:37.920 same set of questions. 0:00:37.640 --> 0:00:41.120 You can make observations about which truths appear to be universal. 0:00:41.320 --> 0:00:44.160 And it made me wonder, what if these questions were 0:00:44.200 --> 0:00:46.879 just the jumping off point, what greater depths would be 0:00:46.920 --> 0:00:50.960 revealed if I asked these questions as conversation starters. So 0:00:51.200 --> 0:00:53.840 I adapted prus questionnaire and I wrote my own seven 0:00:53.920 --> 0:00:57.280 questions that I personally think are pertinent to a person's story. 0:00:57.560 --> 0:01:00.680 They are when and where were you happiest? What is 0:01:00.720 --> 0:01:04.200 the quality you like least about yourself? What relationship, real 0:01:04.319 --> 0:01:07.959 or fictionalized, defines love for you? What question would you 0:01:08.000 --> 0:01:12.039 most like answered, What person, place, or experience has shaped 0:01:12.080 --> 0:01:14.800 you the most? What would be your last meal? And 0:01:14.880 --> 0:01:17.440 can you tell me something in your life that's grown 0:01:17.520 --> 0:01:20.880 out of a personal disaster. And I've gathered a group 0:01:21.120 --> 0:01:25.440 of really remarkable people, ones that I am honored and 0:01:25.560 --> 0:01:28.200 humbled to have had the chance to engage with. You 0:01:28.240 --> 0:01:31.440 may not hear their answers to all seven of these questions. 0:01:31.640 --> 0:01:35.039 We've whittled it down to which questions felt closest to 0:01:35.080 --> 0:01:39.360 their experience, or the most surprising, or created the most 0:01:39.400 --> 0:01:44.760 fertile ground to connect. My guests today are the professional 0:01:44.760 --> 0:01:48.600 big wave surfer Garrett McNamara and his wife Nicole. I 0:01:48.680 --> 0:01:51.000 was interested in hosting two people for the first time 0:01:51.080 --> 0:01:52.360 ever on my show. 0:01:52.200 --> 0:01:56.160 Because Garrett Nichole's relationship relies on a symbiosis that reaches 0:01:56.280 --> 0:01:59.960 far beyond the boundaries described by marriage. I'd met Garret 0:02:00.240 --> 0:02:02.480 on the Noltua of O Wahoo and Hawaii years ago, 0:02:02.760 --> 0:02:06.320 and I'd seen himself locally, which was in itself pretty astonishing, 0:02:06.960 --> 0:02:10.640 but nothing prepared me for watching the HBO documentary series 0:02:10.760 --> 0:02:13.480 The One Hundred Foot Wave that showed Garrett not only 0:02:13.520 --> 0:02:17.080 beating his own world record by surfing a hundred foot wave, 0:02:17.400 --> 0:02:20.160 but also figuring out a system with his wife Nicole 0:02:20.360 --> 0:02:24.160 that mitigated the deadliness of surfing Nazaree in Portugal. 0:02:24.680 --> 0:02:28.800 Something about watching Nicole up on the cliff side communicating. 0:02:28.080 --> 0:02:30.639 With water safety and with Garrett, who was way out 0:02:30.680 --> 0:02:35.120 in the water, really struck me about devotion and trust 0:02:35.480 --> 0:02:38.880 and what a rarefied expression of that their relationship is. 0:02:39.280 --> 0:02:41.399 It was a real pleasure to talk to both of them. 0:02:43.840 --> 0:02:47.839 I'm so grateful that you're here. I've never I've never 0:02:47.880 --> 0:02:50.080 had two people answering my questions before. 0:02:50.160 --> 0:02:51.600 It's absolutely thrilling. 0:02:51.680 --> 0:02:54.760 A really yeah, well that's exciting. I thought you just 0:02:54.840 --> 0:02:56.400 do it all the time, double people. 0:02:57.000 --> 0:02:57.120 Now. 0:02:57.680 --> 0:02:58.920 No, No, we're not Polly. 0:02:59.040 --> 0:03:01.280 We're not Polly any thing here. 0:03:01.320 --> 0:03:04.440 We're mostly singular. We're not adventurous in any way, shape 0:03:04.520 --> 0:03:04.799 or form. 0:03:04.919 --> 0:03:10.639 But I think if marriages are a beautiful version of symbiosis, 0:03:11.120 --> 0:03:16.200 your particular marriage, and I think mostly because Nicole was 0:03:16.240 --> 0:03:18.880 so in charge of you not dying in such a 0:03:18.919 --> 0:03:23.399 specific way for such a long time, you're even You're 0:03:23.440 --> 0:03:27.400 more symbiotic than any other married couple I've probably ever met. 0:03:27.680 --> 0:03:31.280 It's connected in a far more fundamental way than just ooh, 0:03:31.320 --> 0:03:31.959 I fancy you. 0:03:32.040 --> 0:03:33.200 Let's mend our lives together. 0:03:35.200 --> 0:03:38.440 Luckily, Luckily, we still love each other too far In 0:03:38.520 --> 0:03:39.360 love with each other. 0:03:42.520 --> 0:03:45.160 Well, I'm going to ask you my first question, when 0:03:45.320 --> 0:03:47.240 and where were you happiest? 0:03:48.080 --> 0:03:52.080 I guess for me the moment I met Garrett. That 0:03:52.240 --> 0:03:54.440 had to have been when I was most happiest. And 0:03:54.480 --> 0:03:57.720 I'm talking about like the very first conversation we ever had. 0:03:57.800 --> 0:04:00.640 It was the first time in my entire life that 0:04:00.680 --> 0:04:04.800 I ever felt that someone really truly saw me, my soul, 0:04:05.200 --> 0:04:07.600 who I was, because for a lot of my life, 0:04:07.600 --> 0:04:10.240 I never really felt like I fit in and I 0:04:10.320 --> 0:04:10.680 was just. 0:04:10.840 --> 0:04:11.800 Trying to fit in. 0:04:12.400 --> 0:04:14.440 But then when I met Garrett, like I felt that 0:04:14.520 --> 0:04:18.440 he really just immediately saw my inner gifts. 0:04:18.800 --> 0:04:20.120 Wow, why was that? 0:04:20.600 --> 0:04:22.799 We were in Puerto Rico. 0:04:23.360 --> 0:04:26.520 In Puerto Rico, I was there for a stand up 0:04:26.560 --> 0:04:29.800 paddle board competition because I was competitively stand up cattle 0:04:29.839 --> 0:04:33.040 board racing, and there was a race that weekend, and 0:04:33.920 --> 0:04:36.719 the friend I was staying with was a florist who 0:04:36.800 --> 0:04:38.800 was doing flowers for a charity event. 0:04:38.920 --> 0:04:40.640 Instead o'h come with me. I didn't want to go 0:04:40.720 --> 0:04:41.400 because I'm. 0:04:41.240 --> 0:04:45.200 A wallflower, but he insisted, so I went, and Garrett 0:04:45.240 --> 0:04:48.599 happened to be like the celebrity guest, but I didn't 0:04:48.600 --> 0:04:50.360 know why he was a celebrity guest. I was like, 0:04:50.400 --> 0:04:53.120 who is this guy? Garrett was there for surface healing 0:04:53.360 --> 0:04:54.479 and that's that. 0:04:55.480 --> 0:04:57.880 Also, I love that you called yourself a wallflower and 0:04:57.880 --> 0:04:59.279 that your great friend is a florist. 0:04:59.360 --> 0:04:59.960 Yeah that makes me. 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:04.400 Yeah, that's a perfect friend for a wallflower. What about you, Garret? 0:05:05.720 --> 0:05:07.880 Well, definitely, when I saw her across the room, I 0:05:08.080 --> 0:05:12.520 just legst us. But I'll leave that one for Nicole 0:05:12.600 --> 0:05:15.719 because she answered it so well, and I would say 0:05:16.680 --> 0:05:20.600 career wise, the Barrel I got Jaws back in two 0:05:20.600 --> 0:05:24.280 thousand and three, and then my son Barrel was born. 0:05:25.120 --> 0:05:26.440 But that's a double edged sword. 0:05:27.000 --> 0:05:31.440 I was so happy, but at the same time, I 0:05:31.600 --> 0:05:36.680 was also very sad, and I felt that I just 0:05:36.760 --> 0:05:40.760 lost my one true love to this little baby. 0:05:40.920 --> 0:05:43.760 Is that, right in that moment, the. 0:05:43.720 --> 0:05:46.920 Woman I'd be looking for forever, dreaming about, and then 0:05:46.960 --> 0:05:49.200 all of a sudden, this little creature came in and 0:05:49.279 --> 0:05:50.320 took her away from me. 0:05:52.000 --> 0:05:55.400 Well, listen a true story. I had Barrel at home. 0:05:56.040 --> 0:05:59.799 She was ten pounds four point five kilo. 0:06:00.720 --> 0:06:02.960 I salute you, because I too had a ten pound 0:06:03.000 --> 0:06:05.120 baby that I tried to have at home and I 0:06:05.160 --> 0:06:08.960 couldn't do it. I did thirty seven hours and I 0:06:08.960 --> 0:06:09.880 had to go to the hospital. 0:06:10.080 --> 0:06:11.440 Okay, so you did it at home. 0:06:11.560 --> 0:06:15.160 You are a super human Okay, go on, But. 0:06:15.279 --> 0:06:18.599 So here, I just had this ten pound baby. I 0:06:18.720 --> 0:06:20.000 was split in. 0:06:20.040 --> 0:06:24.600 Half in half, and I look over and he's crying, 0:06:25.160 --> 0:06:25.839 like crying. 0:06:26.040 --> 0:06:29.159 I'm like, why are you crying? He's like, I've lost you. 0:06:29.160 --> 0:06:31.080 You're not going to scratch my head anymore. 0:06:31.720 --> 0:06:35.120 I'm like, my gosh, now I have to worry about 0:06:35.120 --> 0:06:36.320 your feelings. 0:06:37.000 --> 0:06:40.359 Oh, oh my god, get it together. May I bless 0:06:40.400 --> 0:06:42.920 you for admitting that? And I would punch you right 0:06:42.960 --> 0:06:47.400 through the screen if I could. Holy cow. Okay, So 0:06:47.760 --> 0:06:50.120 did you tell him to pull himself together and that 0:06:50.200 --> 0:06:52.719 it was going to be and just actually no, just 0:06:52.760 --> 0:06:53.599 pull yourself together. 0:06:54.080 --> 0:06:56.520 I believe what she said when she told me, don't worry, 0:06:56.560 --> 0:06:59.760 nothing's going to change, And then everything changed that minute. 0:07:00.240 --> 0:07:05.720 Of course, I don't know why I believed, or I 0:07:05.760 --> 0:07:08.880 already knew it was was going to change. 0:07:09.480 --> 0:07:11.080 That's why you were crying. Yeah. 0:07:11.240 --> 0:07:14.480 I also like that your too happy moments are barrels, 0:07:14.680 --> 0:07:18.680 like the barrel at Jaws and your baby barrel, who's 0:07:18.760 --> 0:07:21.000 not such a baby anymore. It was kind of a 0:07:21.160 --> 0:07:25.360 ripping surfer from everything I've seen. Wow, you do lose 0:07:25.400 --> 0:07:27.320 them in a way. It's a love affair that you 0:07:27.360 --> 0:07:31.800 can't that mother's son love is it's particular, but so 0:07:32.040 --> 0:07:34.280 is the love with your you know, with your lover. 0:07:34.800 --> 0:07:36.360 It's different, different type of love. 0:07:40.720 --> 0:07:42.880 Okay, So what would be your last meal? 0:07:43.920 --> 0:07:49.560 A perfectly grilled cheese with fresh fermented sour dough, like 0:07:49.720 --> 0:07:54.120 really special cheese cooked by Garrett because he makes the 0:07:54.160 --> 0:07:55.160 perfect grilled. 0:07:54.920 --> 0:07:58.840 Cheese sttt. 0:08:00.840 --> 0:08:03.400 And really just homemade tomato soup. 0:08:03.240 --> 0:08:06.000 To with the girl cheese sounds, and you know. 0:08:05.960 --> 0:08:08.760 The cheese has to like string across. Yeah, I did 0:08:08.880 --> 0:08:09.680 like string. 0:08:10.400 --> 0:08:11.840 Yeah, what about you, Garrett? 0:08:12.040 --> 0:08:14.240 I always go back to my childhood in Mexico and 0:08:14.280 --> 0:08:20.200 it would be rice, black beans, A nice small little 0:08:20.320 --> 0:08:22.840 grilled fish that you just pull off of the sand 0:08:23.040 --> 0:08:23.720 the granions. 0:08:23.720 --> 0:08:24.640 There's small little. 0:08:24.400 --> 0:08:25.840 Fish and you just throw on the barbat and the 0:08:25.840 --> 0:08:27.600 skin comes off a put little salt. 0:08:27.680 --> 0:08:27.920 Oh. 0:08:28.560 --> 0:08:29.480 We were on this like. 0:08:29.520 --> 0:08:32.720 Marriage newlywed game and they said, don't worry, no one's 0:08:32.800 --> 0:08:36.520 ever gotten all five right about their partner. First of all, 0:08:36.559 --> 0:08:39.080 he's the first person ever get all five right about me. 0:08:39.920 --> 0:08:42.200 And then I hardly got any right because one of 0:08:42.240 --> 0:08:43.800 them was what would his last meal be? 0:08:44.240 --> 0:08:46.520 So I put what I thought it would be. When 0:08:46.520 --> 0:08:48.880 this man puts rice and beans as his last meal, 0:08:52.080 --> 0:08:53.720 like who puts rice and beans? 0:08:54.280 --> 0:08:58.760 I love it, just rice and bean, but just to 0:08:58.760 --> 0:09:01.200 mix it up, been some fish. 0:09:01.360 --> 0:09:02.280 I love it well. 0:09:02.320 --> 0:09:04.480 In your last meal, Bee, you. 0:09:04.440 --> 0:09:07.720 Know it's always been In England on a Sunday, you 0:09:07.920 --> 0:09:12.200 have a roast lunch and lunch starts at one and 0:09:12.240 --> 0:09:15.360 it usually ends at around four, and it's like family 0:09:15.640 --> 0:09:18.880 and you eat it's a roast piece of meat. I 0:09:18.880 --> 0:09:21.800 would only eat it if there was chicken, and there's 0:09:21.840 --> 0:09:24.640 all the different vegetables and these sauces in the gravy 0:09:24.720 --> 0:09:26.960 and the and my mum would make everything, and she 0:09:27.040 --> 0:09:28.120 taught us all to make it. 0:09:28.240 --> 0:09:29.679 Well, that's what I put us his. 0:09:29.679 --> 0:09:31.720 Last That's what that's my favorite. 0:09:31.880 --> 0:09:33.240 His actual last one would be. 0:09:34.600 --> 0:09:38.960 But nowadays, as I've traveled a bit, I probably would 0:09:39.040 --> 0:09:42.520 go for don Angie's Lasagna in New York City. 0:09:42.760 --> 0:09:46.000 Oh really, God, have you been there? 0:09:46.200 --> 0:09:49.000 No, I haven't been in Italy. I've still got a 0:09:49.040 --> 0:09:51.040 New York That's true. 0:09:51.160 --> 0:09:54.160 You would don't say that. Let's say that out loud 0:09:54.160 --> 0:09:56.600 in Italy. Okay, I got to check that out next time. 0:09:56.480 --> 0:09:57.120 I'm in New York. 0:10:11.920 --> 0:10:16.200 What person, place, or experience most altered your life beyond 0:10:16.440 --> 0:10:17.200 meeting each other? 0:10:17.559 --> 0:10:21.600 I think probably the birth of Fay, my last baby. 0:10:22.320 --> 0:10:26.679 I ended up getting COVID at nine months pregnant and 0:10:27.160 --> 0:10:30.800 it was very bad, and then my liver ended up 0:10:30.840 --> 0:10:34.079 shutting down and I got this super rare liver condition. 0:10:34.679 --> 0:10:39.320 So I went to a Chinese medicine specialist and I 0:10:39.400 --> 0:10:44.079 ended up drinking six ounces of castor oil and having 0:10:44.120 --> 0:10:44.800 her at home. 0:10:45.760 --> 0:10:46.960 So her name. 0:10:46.920 --> 0:10:51.880 Fe It's Fie, it's faith in Portuguese. Then it's also 0:10:51.960 --> 0:10:54.959 spelled fi, so it's iron on the periodic table elopments 0:10:55.960 --> 0:10:59.920 and just the total like faith I had to have 0:11:00.120 --> 0:11:03.440 in my own body and in her. And yeah, it 0:11:03.559 --> 0:11:07.360 just really gave me the most strength and courage to 0:11:07.520 --> 0:11:11.160 listen to my intuition and listen to my body. 0:11:11.160 --> 0:11:14.800 Did your faith come from previously having had a really 0:11:14.840 --> 0:11:17.120 solid connection with yourself? 0:11:17.440 --> 0:11:20.760 It must have, And I still had to gather it 0:11:20.800 --> 0:11:21.720 from somewhere. 0:11:21.840 --> 0:11:24.160 It was already in me because I just pulled up 0:11:24.200 --> 0:11:24.840 the courage. 0:11:24.880 --> 0:11:30.360 But this just really solidified the confidence in my body 0:11:30.480 --> 0:11:34.120 and knowing my intuition, like listening. 0:11:34.040 --> 0:11:37.360 God it's so incredibly hard, particularly when it's against the 0:11:37.440 --> 0:11:42.400 kind of a medical wall to really listen. That must 0:11:42.440 --> 0:11:43.400 have been very challenging. 0:11:43.480 --> 0:11:47.160 It was. It was the most challenging time of my life. 0:11:47.320 --> 0:11:50.959 Wow, that's incredible. And do you feel like that trust 0:11:51.040 --> 0:11:53.520 that you put in yourself as that carried over into 0:11:53.559 --> 0:11:55.599 your life post FAE? 0:11:55.640 --> 0:11:56.079 For sure. 0:11:56.320 --> 0:12:01.559 It's like we're so powerful as humans were constantly distracted 0:12:01.559 --> 0:12:04.600 by external things. Do you have to remind yourself tap 0:12:04.640 --> 0:12:05.600 into your center? 0:12:05.760 --> 0:12:08.560 I think that's the thing most people. I think we're 0:12:08.640 --> 0:12:12.160 lost to the distraction and knowing how to come back 0:12:12.360 --> 0:12:15.680 and get centered, whether it's literally getting up out of 0:12:15.679 --> 0:12:18.439 your chair and stepping outside to look at the sky 0:12:18.640 --> 0:12:22.160 and trees. We've definitely, as we've become connected over the internet, 0:12:22.200 --> 0:12:24.160 become disconnected from ourselves. 0:12:24.360 --> 0:12:24.960 That's wild. 0:12:25.080 --> 0:12:28.760 That's amazing that you that you found that strength and Garrett, 0:12:28.760 --> 0:12:31.319 did you just observe her doing this? 0:12:31.760 --> 0:12:32.320 It was a lot. 0:12:32.440 --> 0:12:34.440 It was up and downs, and I just had to 0:12:34.480 --> 0:12:38.600 believe the whole time. I believe I knew in my gut, 0:12:38.640 --> 0:12:41.280 in my heart that everything was going to be fine. 0:12:41.559 --> 0:12:45.480 Do you think that that connection because the way in 0:12:45.520 --> 0:12:49.000 which and again I've only watched your guy's relationship on 0:12:49.280 --> 0:12:51.960 the one hundred foot wave. But you've sure got a 0:12:52.000 --> 0:12:55.680 sense of the extraordinary connection between the two of you 0:12:55.960 --> 0:12:57.719 when you're standing on the cliff and Garrett's out in 0:12:57.760 --> 0:12:59.800 the water. Do you feel that that, I mean, you 0:12:59.840 --> 0:13:04.679 have have an incredibly connected relationship beyond being on the walkies. 0:13:05.000 --> 0:13:07.160 When you're on the cliff and in the water, do 0:13:07.200 --> 0:13:10.559 you feel that that connection between you was in play 0:13:10.760 --> 0:13:14.000 while you were surfing out there and Nicole was on 0:13:14.080 --> 0:13:14.680 the walkies? 0:13:15.280 --> 0:13:18.319 Our life we just connected always is twenty four to 0:13:18.360 --> 0:13:19.560 seven through sixty five. 0:13:21.000 --> 0:13:23.680 The first question before that was the person? What was 0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:25.720 the question that I didn't answer. 0:13:25.520 --> 0:13:28.840 Oh, what person, place, or experience most altered your life? 0:13:28.960 --> 0:13:31.520 I would say my mom for moving me to Hawaii 0:13:31.640 --> 0:13:34.160 so I could be become a professional surfer. In my 0:13:34.160 --> 0:13:36.120 whole life up in a surfer because my mom moved 0:13:36.120 --> 0:13:38.600 to Sawaii, So I think her for that. And then 0:13:38.880 --> 0:13:43.560 recently my buddy Eric, he's been helping me with going 0:13:43.679 --> 0:13:47.319 deep and finding out a lot of trauma and stuff 0:13:47.360 --> 0:13:48.199 that I've experienced. 0:13:48.440 --> 0:13:50.240 Do you think as the way it's got bigger and 0:13:50.240 --> 0:13:53.280 bigger that you were chasing was that trying to balance 0:13:53.400 --> 0:13:55.560 out something else that was going on in your life 0:13:55.600 --> 0:13:57.720 or was it a response to trauma? Do you think 0:13:57.840 --> 0:14:01.120 like the bigger the way, the more you were dealing 0:14:01.200 --> 0:14:02.800 or not dealing with stuff. 0:14:02.840 --> 0:14:04.600 You know, While I was going through it, it was just 0:14:04.880 --> 0:14:06.960 I felt it was what I loved to do, and 0:14:07.000 --> 0:14:09.720 I wasn't really afraid anymore and I just had fun. 0:14:10.360 --> 0:14:13.640 But then after diving deep, I found out that I 0:14:13.640 --> 0:14:16.600 think it was just trying to feel because I shut 0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:19.680 my feelings down for most of my life, and maybe 0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:22.920 I didn't feel so I was out there, no problem. Yeah, 0:14:23.600 --> 0:14:26.000 and maybe I was trying to feel, so let bring 0:14:26.040 --> 0:14:29.760 it on. So I don't know that I've come to terms. 0:14:29.880 --> 0:14:31.280 Yeah, I mean it's amazing. 0:14:31.400 --> 0:14:35.680 I love that I'm making any kind of comparison between us, 0:14:35.800 --> 0:14:39.240 But the twenty years that I've been surfing in the 0:14:39.240 --> 0:14:43.000 way that I serve it is the purest connection to feeling, 0:14:43.920 --> 0:14:46.480 apart from when I was having my son, Like it 0:14:46.520 --> 0:14:48.880 really is the other place in my life where I 0:14:48.960 --> 0:14:52.680 have felt the most. So without wanting to draw any 0:14:52.720 --> 0:14:56.880 equivalency really between us, that makes perfect sense and feels 0:14:57.360 --> 0:15:01.280 really right that it be in the water and it 0:15:01.360 --> 0:15:06.280 is on those waves that one feels the most whatever 0:15:06.320 --> 0:15:08.960 that is, whether it's helping unlock things that are really 0:15:09.240 --> 0:15:17.840 difficult or balancing those things out. So what relationship, real 0:15:18.160 --> 0:15:20.640 or fictionalized, defines love for. 0:15:20.640 --> 0:15:22.840 You right here, right now? 0:15:24.040 --> 0:15:25.120 Well what type of love? 0:15:25.680 --> 0:15:28.400 Well, what type of love like? What resonates for you? 0:15:28.520 --> 0:15:30.840 I mean any kind of love, like what's one that 0:15:30.880 --> 0:15:34.520 comes to mind that is a distillation and a definition 0:15:34.800 --> 0:15:35.800 of love. 0:15:36.000 --> 0:15:41.920 Warm and just energy and just ah, just this beautiful 0:15:42.200 --> 0:15:46.640 feeling that you can't really describe, and holding your lover, 0:15:47.400 --> 0:15:51.040 your best friend and just wanting to disappear into them 0:15:51.120 --> 0:15:54.200 and become one and then become this ball of energy, 0:15:54.400 --> 0:15:57.520 love and light and just perfect harmony. 0:15:58.160 --> 0:15:59.240 That's very intense. 0:15:59.280 --> 0:16:01.720 But you are in the right place and thank god 0:16:01.760 --> 0:16:04.480 your marriage to Nicole. Do you feel that way about 0:16:04.480 --> 0:16:08.080 the ocean or do you feel great love for the 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:11.240 ocean or is it a very different relationship just because 0:16:11.760 --> 0:16:15.040 your interaction with the ocean is on such a level 0:16:15.040 --> 0:16:18.120 that all of us, like, there's a fraction of people 0:16:18.160 --> 0:16:19.720 that could understand it the way that you do. 0:16:20.240 --> 0:16:24.200 I have this crazy, amazing ability to kind of just 0:16:24.280 --> 0:16:28.360 put yesterday behind me so I can be up here 0:16:28.360 --> 0:16:30.360 in the mounds and think to myself, I'll be fine 0:16:30.360 --> 0:16:32.160 if I don't go back in the ocean and don't 0:16:32.160 --> 0:16:35.400 catch waves again. And then when I do go back 0:16:35.440 --> 0:16:37.400 in the ocean, I'm paddling out and I'm looking at 0:16:37.440 --> 0:16:38.760 a perfect wave and I'm. 0:16:38.640 --> 0:16:41.200 Just captivated in just. 0:16:42.600 --> 0:16:47.000 Just like spiritual, beautiful, so happy, just paling and thinking 0:16:47.080 --> 0:16:49.360 thank you, thank you, thank you, love you, and just 0:16:49.400 --> 0:16:51.960 paddling out and just seeing my friends and just having 0:16:52.000 --> 0:16:54.200 the best time in my life. And that moment, I'm thinking, 0:16:54.520 --> 0:16:57.160 how could I ever think that I could not do 0:16:57.200 --> 0:16:58.080 this ever again? 0:16:58.200 --> 0:17:00.240 How can I ever think that I can be comfortabor 0:17:00.280 --> 0:17:00.480 on that? 0:17:00.920 --> 0:17:01.360 Wow? 0:17:02.200 --> 0:17:05.840 So there's a real immediacy with your connection to things. 0:17:05.840 --> 0:17:07.680 Like if you're in the mountains, you're in the mountains, 0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:09.439 but when you're in the ocean, you're in the ocean. 0:17:09.520 --> 0:17:10.840 Yeah, what if I e Nica? 0:17:11.240 --> 0:17:14.600 I think it would probably be the love that a 0:17:14.720 --> 0:17:18.040 mother has for their child, like the love people have 0:17:18.119 --> 0:17:19.600 for babies. Like when you have a baby and you 0:17:19.600 --> 0:17:23.040 walk down the street, almost everybody can't help but smile, 0:17:23.080 --> 0:17:24.680 even if they're having a bad day and they see 0:17:24.680 --> 0:17:27.639 a smiling baby, like they immediately smile. So if we 0:17:27.680 --> 0:17:32.440 could see everyone around us as the little versions of themselves, 0:17:32.560 --> 0:17:33.480 Like if we could. 0:17:33.280 --> 0:17:36.280 Transfer that love to everyone, we. 0:17:36.400 --> 0:17:39.800 All just like love each other unconditionally through the good 0:17:39.840 --> 0:17:42.360 and the bad and the flaws and the jealousy. 0:17:41.960 --> 0:17:43.040 And this and that. 0:17:43.640 --> 0:17:45.959 Yeah, if we could be connected to that part of 0:17:46.000 --> 0:17:49.119 ourselves all the time and not I suppose that ego, 0:17:49.560 --> 0:17:51.679 I guess that's the piece that steps in. 0:17:52.040 --> 0:17:54.840 But you're right. I wonder about tribalism. 0:17:54.200 --> 0:17:56.120 Though I don't know that that's ego, but the way 0:17:56.160 --> 0:17:59.199 in which people feel that their tribe is better than 0:17:59.200 --> 0:18:02.640 another person's tribe, that the people who understand them and 0:18:03.080 --> 0:18:05.560 that they connect with that there will always be that 0:18:05.600 --> 0:18:09.520 feeling of even though we love our children. Maybe it's 0:18:09.560 --> 0:18:12.480 also recently just seeing so much of how if a 0:18:12.560 --> 0:18:14.920 child is a part of a different tribe, people are 0:18:14.960 --> 0:18:16.159 saying that it counts less. 0:18:16.640 --> 0:18:18.880 But you're right, if we could see it as our 0:18:18.920 --> 0:18:20.720 own child exactly. 0:18:34.440 --> 0:18:37.320 In your life, can you tell me something that has 0:18:37.359 --> 0:18:39.200 grown out of a personal disaster? 0:18:39.640 --> 0:18:40.439 A lot of things. 0:18:41.200 --> 0:18:44.159 I think it's useful because things. 0:18:43.920 --> 0:18:45.480 Grow out of shit. 0:18:46.080 --> 0:18:46.879 Our marriage. 0:18:47.040 --> 0:18:50.399 Okay, so what was the personal disaster that grew your marriage? 0:18:50.480 --> 0:18:52.919 Well, when I met Garrett, I had been married for 0:18:53.000 --> 0:18:55.720 thirteen days, are you kidding? 0:18:56.359 --> 0:19:00.639 Okay, you'd been married thirteen days on the day that 0:19:00.680 --> 0:19:03.719 you met in Puerto Rico as the wallflower. 0:19:04.000 --> 0:19:08.560 Yeah. The most irresponsible thing I've ever done is run 0:19:08.600 --> 0:19:12.560 away with Karen Wow, I mean discirl. 0:19:12.560 --> 0:19:14.639 When she was four years old. She would set up 0:19:14.680 --> 0:19:16.359 school at her house for all the neighbors. She's a 0:19:16.400 --> 0:19:18.960 school teacher. She'd make school at home in her living. 0:19:19.119 --> 0:19:22.800 She was a very responsible person. I still ask what 0:19:23.160 --> 0:19:24.080 that's what she play? 0:19:25.160 --> 0:19:26.240 Yeah? 0:19:26.280 --> 0:19:29.120 Wow, Where were you living and where did you run 0:19:29.160 --> 0:19:29.520 away to? 0:19:30.320 --> 0:19:32.679 I was in four Lauderdale. I was a teacher for 0:19:32.760 --> 0:19:34.800 three years. We hadn't a home. We just lived out 0:19:34.800 --> 0:19:37.960 of our bag and travel around the world. We both 0:19:38.040 --> 0:19:39.040 left our lives. 0:19:39.480 --> 0:19:42.399 I think most people have had relationships that don't work out. 0:19:42.800 --> 0:19:46.760 Heartbreak, a bit of this, a lot of that. But 0:19:47.640 --> 0:19:51.760 the thing that I've noticed that is over time made 0:19:51.760 --> 0:19:55.080 it better is when if somebody left me and they 0:19:55.200 --> 0:19:57.560 ended up with somebody else, the fact that they stayed 0:19:57.560 --> 0:19:59.720 together and loved each other and built a life and 0:19:59.720 --> 0:20:03.400 had which happened once is actually the thing that made 0:20:03.400 --> 0:20:07.159 it more manageable, and it turned back into love eventually 0:20:07.240 --> 0:20:09.080 because it was clearly right. 0:20:09.480 --> 0:20:10.520 It was clearly the. 0:20:10.440 --> 0:20:12.480 Right thing to do at the time, it was the 0:20:12.520 --> 0:20:17.760 most agonizing, awful moment. But when something is true, it's true, 0:20:18.320 --> 0:20:21.200 and it's very difficult, I think, to be able to 0:20:21.240 --> 0:20:23.600 see that in the moment, like, particularly if you're really 0:20:23.640 --> 0:20:26.320