00:00:08 Speaker 1: And I invited you here. 00:00:13 Speaker 2: Thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guess to my home, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no, guests, your own presences presence enough, and I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare. 00:00:36 Speaker 1: To surbey me? 00:00:49 Speaker 3: Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Pritchard Wineger and I'm totally disoriented. I'm in the studio feeling normal and not normal and very off. And so that's the energy that I'm kind of trying to put out into the world. Why, well, I have some bad news to report. Yesterday I stood up for myself. Somebody cut in front of me in line, and I cleared my throat, and so I don't think that they'll ever do that again, you know, And I probably won't either, because it was very uncomfortable and the ensuing confrontation when I was asked, did we cut in front of you? I didn't want to have to answer that question, and I did, and then it was just a disaster. So from now on, just steamroll me. Whatever. Is there anything else going on? Not as far as I can tell. I'm just I think what's happening is they've started wrapping the baby bell cheese and paper. And this is a new experience. I don't know if you've had the baby bell cheese in the past. It used to be a more crinkly paper or crinkly wrap, and now it's a paper. And now the rest of my life has been thrown off course. So before anything else bad happens, let's just get into the podcast. I love today's guest. It's Michelle Collins. Michelle, Oh my god, I said, no. 00:02:09 Speaker 1: Gifts for sure. It is like psychically you know me so well to even open with standing up for yourself because I always stand up for myself. You do, Yes, I have personal problems because of it, like not. 00:02:20 Speaker 3: Good what like what are you standing up for yourself in like in minor situations? 00:02:24 Speaker 1: Well, it happened to me funny enough, and hello listeners, and I'm so thrilled to be here. And I just you put me in such a good, lovely place as a person. 00:02:32 Speaker 3: Well, I've been wanting to have you here for years, but you know, space and time and all these things get in. 00:02:38 Speaker 1: The way, all those continuums. I always say that. Yes, Well, anyway, I was coming here from New York, where I was there for work, and I was at the airport and actually this was in DC, so you know there was like a different clientele in DC. I had a connection right right, And I'm in line for United Airlines Group one. Not to brag, I'm no Delta, I'm no Delta. 00:02:58 Speaker 3: Col I'm a United Airlines Section seven. Usually are you ismile? 00:03:03 Speaker 1: What's your airline? 00:03:05 Speaker 3: Literally? Any airline is that right? And I always ended up in either what section F or Section eight? So it's a tough uh, It's it's hard being me. 00:03:15 Speaker 1: That does suck for you. I'm not gonna lie because the truth is I used to be like you, always like cheapest flight, done, done done, and then I made a decision I'm going to commit to one airline. It has backfired many times, but I will tell you that the Group one boarding it does. I get stressed about things that haven't happened, so like boarding with a bunch of people, getting a bag space, all these things will keep me up at night the night before. 00:03:39 Speaker 3: Right, of course, I'm nuts. No, I think that that's totally rational. Okay, when I'm standing in line, I'm already arguing with someone on the flight about well I need to put my bag in the overhead storage. I will not check the bag. 00:03:52 Speaker 1: I check three bags and have overhead storage and an under the seat unless I'm in the exit rodwhich how are you alive? This is what I'd like to know. Say to me, because you know I'm very buff. Sure, it's wheeling. It's wheeling the bags. I don't go to it in no yoga, nothing, And that's it. 00:04:06 Speaker 3: Entirely travel and luggage. 00:04:07 Speaker 1: Entirely Sam Sinai based. Yes. But anyway, So I was waiting in group one. There was an elderly man in front of me. Easiest way to describe the man in front of me, and this is not meant in any good or bad way. Like able bodied Stephen Hawking, he was about ninety five. 00:04:22 Speaker 3: Can I say that I have no idea to be totally a same That's. 00:04:25 Speaker 1: Why I'm confused. Leave it in anyway he was, but exactly the same face, same age, right, but standing and anyway. Behind us was a guy who had wrap around yellow tinted sunglouda problem already a problem, possibly soul patch. Okay, oh, younger wife or girlfriend. They call group one, mind you, we are in line behind all the other ones. He walks, not just around me, but around the old guy. I big mouth. Go excuse me? I say to the old guy, I go, are you group one? He goes, yes, I go, me too, We're all in group. But also the assumption that I, in my Asos bootcuts would not be in group one. It offended me very deeply. I thought, I mean I didn't have make sure you go to hell? 00:05:12 Speaker 3: Count Dari. How did he respond? 00:05:13 Speaker 1: Not well? And he got behind me and then me and the old man. I said, the entitlement because you have to always have to find a friend. 00:05:19 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, of course, of course. Otherwise everyone feels like everyone's looking at you, and it's just like, well, no, we need everyone on my side. 00:05:26 Speaker 2: Now. 00:05:27 Speaker 3: Oh I'm a hero. 00:05:28 Speaker 1: I'm the hero. 00:05:28 Speaker 3: I know this was uncomfortable for everyone, but I'm the hero. 00:05:30 Speaker 1: Now. That's how I feel. That is if there's a word for that mental illness, maybe narcissism, I don't know, I have it. And then he was like I know. And then we ended up sitting next to each other, me and the old man on the flight, and he offered me the oldest mint in history from his pocket, and I said, oh, I'm okay. And then he really wanted to talk to me, and it was my fault. But I was so tired and then I kind of was like, wait, I'm again. I'm the problem because I initiated, I broke. You created this whole world for yourself and him. Anyway, the point is is that I like to stand up for myself. I have hundreds of stories every day like that. 00:06:02 Speaker 3: I need to be better at it. But you know, yesterday it was like, well this just led to nothing. They already got to buy their thing. It's not like they got behind me. 00:06:09 Speaker 1: They didn't get behind you. 00:06:10 Speaker 3: No, they were done with their transaction. 00:06:13 Speaker 1: Where were you? 00:06:14 Speaker 3: It was a place called Lemon Poppy Kitchen LPKI got in front of you shut a healthy California. 00:06:23 Speaker 1: Poppy kitchen call. I can't believe it. 00:06:27 Speaker 3: Wonderful restaurant, usually a wonderful clientele. Wow, I will say. My friends and I sat down to eat and we watched as they Later on, they caught my eye, these people who had butt in front of me. They were getting into their car. It was not only like a Tesla suv. It was with the doors that go up, and I thought, okay, well I'm vindicated. 00:06:46 Speaker 1: They told the DeLorean Tesla. You know with the moment you said, getting into their car, it used to be BMW might go to a whole carr and I said, it's going to be a Tesla with the wings. 00:06:55 Speaker 3: I'm in shock with the wings. You know, a lot of normal people are now driving Tesla's, but the wings come into play. There's a select group and they had a license plate that said, and so I feel bad even drawing this musical group into it, because it's not their fault. 00:07:12 Speaker 1: Do you know this? 00:07:13 Speaker 3: Of course they're perfectly good, But like these people that they decided that's their license plate. I mean everything about it was such a perfectly tied bow for me. And it's just like good for me for clearing my throat. 00:07:25 Speaker 1: Yes, their minds have been rotted by ecstasy. I've decided. These are people who have been rotted, disemboweled by drug usage. And they can't even see lines. They don't even know what a line is anymore except a very specific kind. 00:07:40 Speaker 3: They swerved out of the parking lot and out of my life. Yes, you know, maybe I should learn the right lesson from this. And it was okay for me to stand up. 00:07:48 Speaker 1: I think it's fine for you. I listen. I'm all for people standing up when it's right, and I want you to know I've done wrong things people have set up to me and I bowed out tail between legs. I also know when. 00:07:58 Speaker 3: To wow is do you have Is there any pushback from you when the person first approaches with your error? So like, because I feel like that's my natural thing of like, oh, well, I didn't do anything wrong, but naturally i've you know, you've done something wrong. 00:08:11 Speaker 1: Like I feel like I've accidentally gotten in front of someone in a line. You know, oftentimes it's like a mess of a line. You don't realize right, and then when there's a look thrown, I go, oh my gosh, were you in line? And then I retreat. I mean, I'm the first one. I'll go to the very back of the line, like I have good person. 00:08:28 Speaker 3: Yes, I'm off to jail. 00:08:30 Speaker 1: I'm gonna actually just lock myself into I go to Tesla and no ac lock the windows, facemash the window. It's fine. I don't mind. 00:08:37 Speaker 3: Do you have a lot of problems on planes in general? Because you travel a lot more than I do, and I feel like I travel not that often and I run into at least one situation on every flight. 00:08:47 Speaker 1: Not too many problems. 00:08:49 Speaker 3: Honestly, no, I think I just have problems with people in general. 00:08:52 Speaker 1: I don't see that for you. I could see that for me because I'm very like you know, I'm painting myself to be the worst human alife. I'm also in a weird place today, so of all days to be talking about myself. But you seem so easy going. I can't see it. 00:09:03 Speaker 3: I love that I'm projecting anything close to that image to me. 00:09:07 Speaker 1: Yeah, you're not. What's your sign? Don't don't kill me for asking? 00:09:11 Speaker 3: Can you guess? Try to get virgo. I'm a Libra Libra, that's my moon. What does that mean for me? 00:09:18 Speaker 1: Oh no, no, okay, I don't know. I'm a cancer at the Libra moons. All I know is that I should be sobbing at another moment. 00:09:24 Speaker 3: Okay, And I feel like that's kind of what I should be sobbing at every moment of every day. 00:09:29 Speaker 1: I want to ask you a quick question. Do you have diagnosed or self diagnosed ADHD? 00:09:34 Speaker 3: Okay? This is a very good question because the listeners are starting to ask. 00:09:38 Speaker 1: Okay. 00:09:39 Speaker 3: Some listeners have reached out and been like, it sounds like you might have ADHD and then, uh, what I did with that information was just talk about it on the podcast and then did no research. I like, I've looked or I've heard that, like when you think you have ADHD, you just go to your GP or whatever and they just they ask you that list of questions that's like are you easily distracted? And well, it's hard for me to say. I'm I don't have anybody else's viewpoints, so I'm like, sure, yeah, I'm easily distracted, but it might just be a normal person. So I'm not sure how to actually drill down and see if I actually have ADHD. 00:10:15 Speaker 1: Well, I don't take medication really for it, but I know also not diagnosed professionally. But I just it's like take, take, take, whenever I take those quizzes. Can you fill a form out with no problem with ease? Like what sort of form for example, if you need to get to your passport renewed like things like that, Right. 00:10:31 Speaker 3: I feel like I can fill out that sort of form. Yeah, but I feel like, you know, I'll sit down to do something and then I mean suddenly there are nine other things I've gotten done before the initial task, and I can't remember what listeners were like, Bridge, that sounds like you have ADHD. What like the symptom was, But more and more I feel like maybe I should look into it. But then I'm on medication, which is not a problem. 00:10:57 Speaker 1: But are you on ADHD medica? 00:10:59 Speaker 3: No? I'm like, what does that do? In general? 00:11:04 Speaker 1: Car would know it's gonna make you focus lock in, which is what I need. I mean, people always like, write a book. I go, I can't. Even I can write a blog post if that makes sense. I can write something if I know that day it's going out there us. But you're gonna tell me to write into this vacuum of time. 00:11:19 Speaker 3: See that's my problem. Yeah, if I'm up against a very close deadline, sure of course I'm going to do it. What other choice do I have? 00:11:27 Speaker 1: And it'll be great. 00:11:28 Speaker 3: But if it's months away, well I have I need to mop the counter. It's well slop the counter, so I must have ADHD. If I'm moping counter, you're to mob the counter. No, it's it is hot slop. If I have months to work on something, I'm just like, who cares about this? Do you leave piles of things around your house? Or you seem I'm gonna say this, and this may be a stereotype. You do seem neat. I am neat. I will say I'm neat. My siblings neither are four of us. There are two that are not neat, and then my other brother and I are very very neat people. So but I don't know, there's a bit of ADHD that runs in the family because. 00:12:07 Speaker 1: The neatness goes against the ADHD rain. Like I can be I'm neat with food. I don't like having plates out like anything in the fridge. I like keeping it or everything out right. And I'm not a hoarder, not to rag, but I will toss, I'll donate, get it out of the house. I also bring a lot of stuff in, okay, And when, for example, let's say I'm running late for dinner, I come home, there's a pile of makeup, there's a pile of my clothes. Interesting, and then I'm like, oh, that pile is there. Okay, So if you open up a drawer, perhaps it'll be like I'll know it's in there, but it will not be container stored into something nice. 00:12:40 Speaker 3: It'll be a little bit I mean you, I have what is known in my home as the napkin drawer, and if you saw this thing, you might be able to diagnose fifty mental illnesses because this is a disaster in a way that's I can't defend myself in any possible way. It's just take out now cans when they're not used. I throw them in the drawer. 00:13:03 Speaker 1: I like that. I do that sometimes, but I do it in the fork and knife drawer in the corner. Okay, the Jersey Mikes, you'll see. It's almost like. 00:13:09 Speaker 3: I've got Jersey Mike napkins. 00:13:11 Speaker 1: So you're getting bad. Those are some good ones. You can peel them away and just see, Like if I've gained weight, you'll know from the napkin drawer your life. So this fish is eating Yeah, truly, it's like the rings on a tree, except it's like on my thigh. They're like, oh. The reason really why I ask about the ADHD is because this and I've talked about this on my Patreon show plug get over There, thank You, which is justice sensitivity, and it's something that I could never put into words why I was the way I was. I'm not only like that with myself. If I see other people being treated unfairly, especially people who are you know, need maybe someone to stick up for them or whatever. Right, I am the FIRS. I love to step in. I will involve myself interest. And I learned within the past six months something called justice sensitivity that people with ADHD have where if they feel for themselves or someone else that something is unjust. It keeps me up at night. And that's really true. So someone skipping in line, I'm interesting, yeah, and I can remember times when people have skipped me in line. One woman who was on the phone and I was like, excuse me. I was in a foreign country as well, so she's in Italy whatever, and I said, you know, I'm standing here and she was like, I'm with him to some guy in front of her. It was actually clever, and I was like, you're not with him. I know you're not with him. You're on the phone. And she ordered in front of me, and I thought the Charles de gall This woman food so rude. And then I was with someone who was like, just let it go, and I was like, I can't let it go. Like she got me, I. 00:14:40 Speaker 3: Do okay, I do that. I mean, I don't act on it. I don't do anything to rectify the situation. But yeah, that sort of thing will just ring around in my head for weeks. 00:14:48 Speaker 1: Yes, me too, it's crazy. Uh. Or if like you know, but then again, if I've gotten great service in a store, or if someone does a solid for me in a store, maybe a coop on whatever, I don't even wait till like to the car to leave a five star Google review. 00:15:02 Speaker 3: Oh you're leaving reviews. 00:15:03 Speaker 1: Oh. I constantly boost people too, because I'm like, it's right. You gotta go both ways. You can't just complain. You also have to give right. I'll skan QR codes. I bought a watch recently. It is a Swatch. I have a theory they're coming back. I don't really want to talk about it, but I gotta swatch skin. Irony at the outlets in New York, Okay, had the best experience there. These other people were debating a watch. They were with a different sales lead who also seem nice. I was like, you gotta buy the watch and you gotta leave a review, and they bought it and left. We were all there leaving reviews like, oh. 00:15:34 Speaker 3: I will leave a review if I'm asked by the establishment, or if I really love the place but it's under a secret name, and I will also complain. I mean, but it has to be really true in justice. If I'm going to complain, oh me too. I lightly try not to. I know, I have to know it goes, the problem goes all the way to the top. It can't be like, oh, the employee was me who cares. A lot of employees are having bad days. But if it feels like, oh, this is a company wide problem or something, tip tap typing away, and I know it'll make no difference. 00:16:06 Speaker 1: But one of the bravest things we could ever do, and I'm not suggesting we do it now, is swap phones and read each other as one star Google reviews. I think that would that would be for me at least, it's so revelatory. 00:16:20 Speaker 3: I would feel so naked. 00:16:22 Speaker 1: Oh not comfortable with that, absolutely up and look and just panic right here. I know we're recording. 00:16:29 Speaker 3: I know I could tell you. I know the last place I left a one star review, and it feels like the community is coming together to leave a lot of one star reviews for this particular restaurant that moved in and it feels good to be part of the team. That's like, no, you're not going to move in and charge that much for a hamburger. 00:16:45 Speaker 1: Wait, which restaurant is it? 00:16:46 Speaker 3: I won't say it here here in la obviously it's here. It's in Highland Park and it was new ownership and they just kind of flipped the business model and suddenly the neighborhood was just burning them down in a way that is calmuck. So I think that was the last time I left your review. And it felt good. 00:17:03 Speaker 1: Sometimes it does. I hate to say it. 00:17:05 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a little revenge, a little something. 00:17:08 Speaker 1: It feels better to be nice, right, everybody in this day and age, it's nice to be a little nice. Try it. It's it makes you feel good. 00:17:14 Speaker 3: It really does feel better to be nice. 00:17:17 Speaker 1: Compliment people. 00:17:17 Speaker 3: But when do you get an opportunity I talk to everybody. 00:17:20 Speaker 1: I'm really and I'm I'm middle aged now, but I know that in ten twenty years, when I officially amountedly, it's going to be a problem. I already know. 00:17:27 Speaker 3: I'm I know you're just like chatting up strangers. 00:17:30 Speaker 1: God, so I talk. 00:17:32 Speaker 3: Oh I wish I wish I had that ability. 00:17:36 Speaker 1: You know, it's funny when people do it to me. I hate it. Isn't that interesting? I go crazy I'm like, don't like. If someone's like, oh I like that shirt, I'm like, uh, cucko, Like, don't want to talk to them. But when I do it, I'm like, this is great. They're a loving mess. 00:17:51 Speaker 3: I think that's I can see that. 00:17:53 Speaker 1: Actually, I mean I'm nuts anyway, what else? What else is going on? 00:17:58 Speaker 3: Well, I feel like there's I'll tell you something. It's going on. It's not something I want to talk about. It's not something I'm comfortable with. Michelle. I was excited to have you here on the podcast today. You know, it's been years in the works. I thought we'll have a wonderful time. It'll feel like this reunion, and then we'll go on with our lives. The podcast is called I said no gifts. Yes, we came to an agreement that you'd be on the show, and I thought you would play by the rules. I thought you would have some level of dignity when you came on, and then that was all kind of wiped out when you walked into the studio holding what could not more clearly be a gift? Is it a gift for me? 00:18:37 Speaker 1: It is? Okay? 00:18:39 Speaker 3: Instead of gorgeous purple bag? Should we open it? 00:18:41 Speaker 1: Here? 00:18:41 Speaker 3: On the podcast. 00:18:42 Speaker 1: Yes, but the bag in itself is part of the gift. 00:18:45 Speaker 3: Well, let's take a look at this. 00:18:49 Speaker 1: I didn't even know that this was like a thing, but it is in a Runway Tjmax. Stopping back now before you open it. There's two things in here. One is they're the same thing, different sizes. One is mine. But that's why it's part of the story. 00:19:05 Speaker 3: It's part of the sts. 00:19:07 Speaker 1: I got us matching leotards and we're going to. 00:19:10 Speaker 3: So chy what a t would make me? 00:19:17 Speaker 1: Forget it, kid, I'd be tossing you into the stands. People wouldn't know what to do with themselves. 00:19:24 Speaker 3: Wait, so Runway, is this a new store? 00:19:26 Speaker 1: Okay, so no, so listen, there are certain it's actually all part of the story. I didn't even make really all the connections. It's all connected. 00:19:32 Speaker 3: Okay, everything is well, that's very true. 00:19:35 Speaker 1: I pass out. So TJ Max has a designer faction. 00:19:39 Speaker 3: Okay, offshoot, one. 00:19:41 Speaker 1: Might even say, yes, move it from your beautiful face. Uh, that they only have in certain stores, usually in sort of well to do well healed neighborhood called Runway where they get designer things. In Europe where I lived for a couple of years. Amazingly, they call it t Kmax because England had a store called TJ's. Oh, they weren't allowed to call a TG, so they just said t K because it's next to it on the keyboard. That's the only reason. 00:20:06 Speaker 3: What does TJ stand for? 00:20:07 Speaker 4: Do we know? 00:20:09 Speaker 1: I can't my mind when some are dark, and I won't. 00:20:12 Speaker 3: Be able to say it on a least look into that they. 00:20:14 Speaker 1: Must stand for, like THEO James from Down to Abbey? Who would it stand for? Tommy Lee Jones? 00:20:19 Speaker 3: T LJ Max A TJ Max? Okay, it was called TK. 00:20:22 Speaker 1: T K Max in Europe and I lived in Amsterdam and they would get stuff from pradam Um. I mean they would get like I am bringing mellow cucinelli. However you say it here they get that too sometimes. But here in LA they have a lot of Runway Max stores, and in Miami, which is where I'm from. When I was home in Miami a couple of weeks ago, I found a sweater at the Runway Max in Boca Raton, Florida. 00:20:47 Speaker 3: Have you been I haven't been to Boca Raton. I love saying it though. 00:20:50 Speaker 1: It is mellifluously it's such a beautiful word to say. It's two words, really, But they have a fantastic runway Max in Boca. No I should. 00:20:58 Speaker 3: We got to get into the Boca. 00:21:01 Speaker 1: There's two really good ones. And this is like hot tea. As they say hot TJ. I'm spelling the hot DJ Boca and West Palm Beach has a t came our TJ Max runway. Mind blowing. That one is really untouched. Okay, so I go. I find literally the most beautiful fitting sweater I've ever found in my life. Okay, it is like and I'm tall, I'm six to one. The sleeves are below the hand. I look like Ariana Grande. I never had a sweater be so perfectly proportioned on my body. 00:21:30 Speaker 3: I run into similar problems. 00:21:31 Speaker 1: I believe that actually, yes, and it's when you find that thing, Oh. 00:21:35 Speaker 3: It feels like, oh maybe I am meant for this world. 00:21:38 Speaker 1: I'm yes, I'm telling you that. I talk about this fore because also big feet. I'm an eleven. There are a lot of women who are elevens, and we're painted to be some kind of freak. I don't think we are. It's two millimeters bigger than a size nine I mean, it's not a big deal. 00:21:51 Speaker 3: What is that in Men's like a nine, a US nine, and I think I'm a nine and my foot's not big. 00:21:56 Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. 00:21:57 Speaker 3: Okay, so where's my camera? 00:22:00 Speaker 1: Listen? I like, storm out, I rip the mic out of its. 00:22:04 Speaker 3: Who lives? 00:22:06 Speaker 1: My head hits the light. I'm like, I have to get out of your ie. Feel dropped? Anyway? I I hope I have two hours of the story. Okay, please, Okay? So I buy this sweater. It's from Helmut's lang Oh German designer. Not familiar, are you not very austere? I would say almost like poor man's Jill Sander a little bit cheaper, certain, because Jill's expensive. Anyway, get the sweater, take it back to New York. I'm like, this is my sweater of the winter, like Song of the Summer is my sweater the winter. I go to leave my apartment that I'm staying in a it's a sublet in New York to catch my flight to come here to laure and I think, which sweater am I going to bring? I gotta bring my sweater the summer winter? 00:22:48 Speaker 3: You need this coast needs to see. 00:22:49 Speaker 1: It exactly it was my debut in this sweater. Yes, and also I like to usually look good at the airport. I guarantee you that I like to look go to the airport. I like to dress. 00:23:02 Speaker 3: I recently gave up on that. 00:23:03 Speaker 1: You know what, I do find it makes the travel day better. I don't know how else to explain it. I usually like I didn't have makeup on that day because I had an early fight, But I usually like to go with makeup, and I just I feel better. You never know who'll sit next. 00:23:14 Speaker 3: To you, right, That's true Future Today's Show story. 00:23:17 Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, go I run downstairs. I'm gonna two story walk up with my big ass seventy pounds saands tonight. Right, so of course my weekend dry put the sweater on top kills me and my carry on that has all my equipment and everything. I go down to the Uber. I load up the Uber like, uh, I don't know where I thought it. I loaded the Uber truly like a union member. I mean, I'm just like, all right, Chollie, back it up like I'm just in it. I'm in it. We get in the car. He starts driving away. Halfway to the airport, I realized my sweater fell out of my bag. You knew it was going there. I didn't. 00:23:52 Speaker 3: I didn't think fall out of your bank in the apartment, or. 00:23:55 Speaker 1: I believe I'm almost one thousand. Listen, if I get back to the apartment and it's in that apartment, I'm going to like in shawshank faults in the rain, tears, tears. I'm ninety percent sure. Let's call it ninety five that it fell out when I was loading the bag in because I had it all tucked up and I was like, ready, you know, so what have I done while here? So first of all, now this gets to your gift. 00:24:16 Speaker 3: Okay, should we open it? 00:24:19 Speaker 1: Yes? Should I? Should? I set it up before you open it up? The setup is now. I go to the airport. A girl has to be cozy on the plane. I also sit in the exit seat by the door. There's cracks. Okay, I'm the first one to get sucked out. 00:24:33 Speaker 3: You feel the breeze, you do? You? It is colder by the scary it is I'm telling here, you feel that get. 00:24:42 Speaker 1: Not in United not in those seven So I have to buy a sweatshirt of pork? 00:24:49 Speaker 3: And which store do you turn to? 00:24:51 Speaker 1: Well, folks, there's only one store, the Nemans of Newark Hudson News. Maybe you've heard of it. 00:24:58 Speaker 3: Now. 00:24:59 Speaker 1: This is in Terminal A, which is actually nice New Wark Terournal. I'm a big defender of Newark Airport, but anyone who's flown in the past year or two knows that they have very specific sweatshirts now in every city. Now you can open up your get into this. It's the top one because there's to. 00:25:16 Speaker 3: You. 00:25:17 Speaker 1: Yes, it's about opening. 00:25:19 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, okay, okay, I mean, first of all, I just want to comment. This is a sweatshirt and it's so soft. 00:25:24 Speaker 1: Okay, this is part of a story. 00:25:26 Speaker 3: It's just crazy. 00:25:26 Speaker 1: Here we go. 00:25:27 Speaker 3: Ready, we're opening gorgeous New Jersey sweat like this. I know you what, it's tasteful. 00:25:35 Speaker 1: Wait, I agree. 00:25:36 Speaker 3: My boyfriend's from New Jersey. 00:25:37 Speaker 1: Are you joking? No, I'm actually not even being funny. This whole thing was meant to bring you that sweatshirt. 00:25:42 Speaker 3: I know. 00:25:42 Speaker 1: I'm I'm an agnostic, but I believe in God when things like this happen. 00:25:46 Speaker 3: The problem is he's Italian and he's from New Jersey. I'm famously anti both. 00:25:51 Speaker 1: Huge mistake. I'm very pro both I'm very pro New Jersey. I am a big Jersey to New Jersey my one of my favorite states in the United States. Wait to look. I hope it fits. It's a medium or large. I didn't know. I got myself put it on. 00:26:02 Speaker 3: I'll put it on for until I get hot. 00:26:04 Speaker 1: Yeah, I got myself the two XL. Does your boyfriend want this one? No? 00:26:08 Speaker 3: You want it? You don't connect us that sweet? 00:26:10 Speaker 1: Okay two? 00:26:11 Speaker 3: It actually gay men cannot have matching anything. 00:26:14 Speaker 1: Well, then I should give it back because I mean at this point, but you don't think this is kind of cute. 00:26:18 Speaker 3: I really and it feels soft. I can't believe it. 00:26:20 Speaker 1: So here's the thing. Wait, it actually is so cute on you. I have to get out of the studio. I feel trapped. I feel trapped. Wait no, I'm sorry, producers, no britchet. 00:26:29 Speaker 3: Let me get a look on give you. 00:26:31 Speaker 1: I'm like attracted to you in it. I'm not being funny. I feel scared. Well look like wait, stop, I feel crazy. You look like you're about to, like say, in a frat house, and I'm very into it. 00:26:43 Speaker 3: This is a good sweater and it's my color, it's your color. 00:26:46 Speaker 1: So here's the thing. So they had this one. They had like navy with white stripes. But I have been obsessed with these because it's I'll tell you how much I paid, because it's part of it. How much do you think I paid for these? 00:26:54 Speaker 3: Okay, this is for two. I would say two sweatshirts is probably a eighty dollars thirty. 00:27:01 Speaker 1: Four ninety nine for two for two. That's stupid. Whoa, this is what I'm saying. And hire me to influence, to get all the people. 00:27:11 Speaker 3: Yes, none of that makes any sense at all. 00:27:14 Speaker 1: And it's embroidered, and yes it's literally. 00:27:16 Speaker 3: It's not just printed all. Something's wrong at that airport. They have a leak. They have a leak. 00:27:23 Speaker 1: So then wait, so now I have to wear this. Now it's adorable, and you on me it is hideous. It what it is. It's not great. I mean I also got a huge size. I just looked. I'm in jeans. I just look by the time I got off the flight. You know, I always say val Kilmer back from the beyond. So anyway I get into LA, I'm wearing this. I go to budget rent a car to get my shitty rental. Even though I also love budget, I like things that are like a little shitty. I never That's why I like, you know. 00:27:46 Speaker 3: A little texture. 00:27:48 Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I don't want to go to like Alamo. Give me Budget, give me a car with like some issues. That's how I am so anywake it to Budget and I walk in and the guy working there is he would be a fan of yours, okay, if you know what I'm saying. And he's like hello, and I go Hi. I go as a joke because I always have to be funny and I'm unbearable. I go, don't judge me. I go. I was forced to buy this. I lost my sweater. I go, do you like it? He went no, I said you don't like it? And I was kind of like setting him up, obviously, but I was like you don't like it? He goes, it does nothing for your figure, and I was like, you're right. He was right anyway, but I will keep this also mine. Then smelled, I don't know, mind smells like a little oily. You're smelled good. I sniffed it. 00:28:32 Speaker 3: It smells nice, fantastic. Actually really, Uh, I can lounge around the house. Yeah, I wonder what sort of pants I could combine this with. Probably jeans off. 00:28:42 Speaker 1: White sweatpants if you really want to go there, jeans hot. 00:28:46 Speaker 3: This is something I could wear to the airport too, because I've recently gotten to like soft, comfortable things to wear at the airport rather than you know, I'm someone who wears their outfit for the day up until bedtime, up until I'm going to get in bad. Is that right, even while when I'm sitting watching TV, like I'm loosening up a little bit. I've gotten a lot of flak for like Bridger, you're at home and you're not going anywhere else, Why wouldn't you put on sweatpants or something? But for whatever reason, I needed to be fully dressed until the absolute end of the day for up until just recently. So the fact that I go to the airport in you know, sweatpants is a real shock to my lifestyle. 00:29:21 Speaker 1: It's a growth pattern and I like it. 00:29:23 Speaker 3: For you, yeah, it might be, you know, it's a journey I might get back to, you know, head towards like wearing a suit to the airport. 00:29:29 Speaker 1: Well, listen, you know, this is my issue with Americans in general, is that men here never wear suits. You never see a man in a suit. You go to London. All the men employed all have suits and nice ones, not like Joseph A Banks like they look. 00:29:44 Speaker 3: Right, they're really like, this is my uniform. I'm gonna take care of it. 00:29:48 Speaker 1: Yes, but I also think women should dress up to I'm not only I think it's time we start dressing up again. Wow. 00:29:54 Speaker 3: I like to put myself together, but I don't like to wear. I think because I grew up in a church like a bristle at, wearing too much, dressing, too much dress clothes. 00:30:04 Speaker 1: I can understand that. I think I would have thrived in a church setting, as far as. 00:30:08 Speaker 3: It's not too late, Michelle, let's get you meat. 00:30:11 Speaker 1: You know, by the way, all right, I'm done for anything. I love a Catholic. I think if I were to convert, I would convert to. 00:30:20 Speaker 3: Knowing everything we know. 00:30:22 Speaker 1: Sorry, I love it, bit of glitz. 00:30:26 Speaker 3: I mean, if you do love Glamor, there's no other religion for you. 00:30:29 Speaker 1: Hello, are you kidding me? I love it. I love Italy, I love Oh. 00:30:33 Speaker 3: I like Ireland like I have no other religion. It's doing what Catholicism is doing. As far as glam the pope were red loafers. 00:30:41 Speaker 1: You know that. I remember that. Oh my course you could forget I mean forget a Prada. Oh I love it. I love Italy so much. I was just there for a wedding. You would have the best time in that sweatsheart in the switch. I can't even tell you like the fact that you like the sweatshirt. I'm not playing this up for the show. This is what will make me. This is going to get me through my day. My question about wearing house clothes in the house. Yes see, I'm not a germophobe, and actually I think that one of the reasons why I do get sick. Obviously, but like I've had an okay, you're knock on wood with not getting a cold so far, like a real one, verge vergin. Then I get better. But I like wear my shoes in the house, like my dirty New York shoes. Not always. I don't stomp her on the bed or anything. But like I'll forget, I'll come in, I'll drop bags off or like shopping bags that have been on the floor will come into the house. I will not put my purse on the ground. I have a big rule about this. Bad luck. 00:31:31 Speaker 3: Oh oh, I didn't know that. Well, that explains my entire. 00:31:33 Speaker 1: Life money flies out. That's what they say. Person Never, ladies especially, do not put your bag. I see people on the subway putting their backpacks on the floor. I'm like, are you fucked up in that hat? 00:31:44 Speaker 3: That's what very common. 00:31:46 Speaker 1: Even the rats are like this. They're like, we're not putting your bag bursts up in the air for the rat anyway. But I really do think that a little bit of germiness is good for you. 00:31:58 Speaker 3: Like exposing small children to germs so they can grow, you know. Yeah, resistance, I. 00:32:03 Speaker 1: Think a little dooty bug here and there is good for you. However, I don't like to get under the covers in I'll sit on the couch in my street clothes, okay, but I really will not get under I won't touch my sheets in my street clothes, right, you do that? 00:32:18 Speaker 3: I will not. 00:32:19 Speaker 1: I will. 00:32:19 Speaker 3: I'll lie on the top cover. 00:32:21 Speaker 1: Interesting, but I won't pushing it a little. 00:32:24 Speaker 3: And this is in La so in New York that might be a different store. 00:32:27 Speaker 1: That's fair. 00:32:28 Speaker 3: If I'm under the covers in my street clothes, something has gone horribly wrong, either emotionally or physically. 00:32:36 Speaker 1: You're going to crawl in your jersey, ye it's. 00:32:38 Speaker 3: Just like it's over. I'm in jeans in bed. But what I don't like is when people really flinch when you like sit down on a bed in your jeans. It's like, it's what are you talking? What are you doing in your jeens? That's so filthy that you're having that reaction? Relax? 00:32:55 Speaker 1: Wash your blanket. Have you heard of it? You can just throw it in the wash. 00:32:59 Speaker 3: No, people have lost it all together, right, I mean, unless you were dealing with like biohazard material in your jeans, go ahead, sit on the comforter. 00:33:08 Speaker 1: Which on the subway, you are to be fair. 00:33:10 Speaker 3: On the subway. And again that's a whole different situation. 00:33:12 Speaker 1: I shoved a strange woman last week and a young girl because I was on the subway there was a puddle on the seat next to me, small clear poddle. 00:33:23 Speaker 3: Oh no, probably water whatever. 00:33:25 Speaker 1: So I had I had a little bag from a place called Manga. You know this place? 00:33:28 Speaker 3: Wait Manja, No, I don't think I do. 00:33:29 Speaker 1: I almost brought your sweatshirt in a Manja bag, and then I thought, because I have that here too, but I was like not bringing it on delicious sandwiches hit or miss anyway. So wait, it's like my lemon poppy kitchen and me, oh, okay, sure. So I have my back kind of resting on the seat. But you know, it's a big poo poo to take a seat up with your bag. Obviously it looks like a terrible person. So the train is filling and this girl and I'm like, oh, I don't want her to think that I'm putting my bag here instead of her, So I move it to indicate, hey, this is open, and flashed Gordon. In two seconds, she comes over and goes to put her ass in the water. And I had and she had very very long hair, and I literally I touched this woman's there. I didn't like it for you, but I pushed her. I pushed her back. I went, don't and she looked at me and I went, there's a puddle. And then we're the best of friends. 00:34:19 Speaker 3: Okay, so she was okay with it. 00:34:20 Speaker 1: I mean she should have been kissing my feet. 00:34:23 Speaker 3: Yes, But it was like in New York that behavior is kind of okay. Everybody's a little bit like a lot of things are a disaster. We watch out for e shows. 00:34:31 Speaker 1: You have to. That's why I do love New York and people in New York down for a laugh Americans in general. It took me leaving this country to have a real appreciation for the American spirit. And I really mean that. 00:34:42 Speaker 3: Really, yes, Wow, what's going on in other countries? I've never really noticed this that, Like, I haven't spent extended amounts of time in other countries just humor listeners. 00:34:53 Speaker 1: Not everywhere. Italians can be funny. I was in Rome for this wedding. I mentioned it. How many times can I bring it in? Can? We said? An account just tick every time you bring it up? But I usually I had never really had a great time in Rome, and this trip I had the best time and everybody was nice, like just it was I think, as it wasn't so touristy. It was September. I highly recommend but no I lived in you could call it a Scandinavian country, the Netherlands or adjacent and nice people. Some were very fun. I have Dutch friends, great people, and this is gohest in England too. I think that you know when you walk into a store here, or a restaurant whatever, they want to know about your day. When you sit at Fridays and they go how's your day? When you take a seat, you recline in your local tgis and you know, Bruce comes over and he goes, how's your day, and you go, don't ask rust And then you have a lap and he's like, tell me about it. 00:35:46 Speaker 3: You both get it. 00:35:47 Speaker 1: You get it. You go go home soon. I always end. My favorite thing to do. I'm an unbearable person. Two things. One, and I've talked about this on my show, is that when it's Black Friday time, the quickest way to ingratiate yourself with a shop key is go you work on Black Friday the whole week leading up it's my Christmas. I go, you work on Black Friday. They love it. They go yes, yes or no. They either go thank God no or they go can you imagine? 00:36:10 Speaker 3: Yeah, what a great conversation starter the checkout line. 00:36:14 Speaker 1: You work in Black Friday, you get discounts. I'm telling you, they want to emote about Black Fight. 00:36:20 Speaker 3: Of course, I've worked Black Friday before. It was hell on Earth where best Buy. 00:36:24 Speaker 1: I'm I can't believe what you're saying. Imagine you're spending best Buy. 00:36:29 Speaker 3: I don't know. I can't believe I'm saying, Oh yeah, I was at best Buy. And I worked at Black Friday. It was hell on Earth. 00:36:36 Speaker 1: And this was I'm going to guess because I feel like now Black Friday has changed and now it's like online, cyberminded. But there were times for those too young to remember where Black Friday was gang fights, middle fingers, lying, tense, it was like the new Star Wars, like everyone went nuts. 00:36:50 Speaker 3: Was it that peak Black Friday time? I would say, I would say, right before it's you know, slow decline. I shouldn't. I stoodn't the exact same place for probably nine hours, just ringing up the same computer over and over and over. They put me back near the washing machine. That's a good place to be, though, don't you think, who's not very pleasant? It's not very there's not much to look at. 00:37:12 Speaker 1: I could see that. 00:37:12 Speaker 3: But Black Friday is not a pleasant time to be working. So that's a great thing to bring up. 00:37:17 Speaker 1: Well, I had a retail job, but I think it was it was ninety eight, okay, jay crew. I was in high school, sure, and then my mom worked at the same store, but I think as she was older, I don't think they put her on the Black Friday shift. I'm almost sure because she was in her sixties. Okay, and they knew better like trampled. Yes, no, no, no, whatever happened to trampling? Yeah, we've got to get back to tramp traveling in a minute. I'm sorry, clear the herd, Charlotte Trampling. We need to bring trampling back. You know why I keep people on their toes. We people gotten too comfortable shopping. Absolutely not. 00:37:50 Speaker 3: We need to strike the fear of trampling back into America. 00:37:53 Speaker 1: Yes, brings the rhinoceray in. I say, we got a Jumanji. These people back into shape. 00:37:59 Speaker 3: The day this release, there will be nine tracking. 00:38:02 Speaker 1: I mean really, that's the thing. And that's every time I do something two days later people like you Eve, I'm like, wait, this is pre the famed, the same stampede of twenty. 00:38:10 Speaker 3: Two historical Tramplin. We should So we're October sixth. Let's just mark the date. We're talking about trampling on October sixth, just to be clear. 00:38:20 Speaker 1: It's like a hostage video. Yes, very smart, October sixth. I used to go, I say, I actually love Black Friday as a consumer back in its heyday, not for the best buye of it all, because that was like I didn't want to actually get shot. But as someone who really loves you could say consumerism. I mean, I love the bargain hunt for me, a hunt that's my life for me, it's like the Hunt. It's like my own personal game show. And I love game shows, so it kind of all tracks. I just like shopping at three in the morning. I think it's so fun to be up in the middle of the night. And this was always in Miami, going to Sawgrass Mills, one of the best outlet malls in the nation and world, and just seeing babies up three thirty in the morning and the parents they all bring the suitcases and they load them up with a didas and things to bring back to you know, Brazil or wherever. 00:39:07 Speaker 3: There's an uncanniness to being in a store at that time of night. It's just like, oh this fields. 00:39:12 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like a sleepover. Yes, it's like a sleepover with a bunch of crazy strangers. And I miss that. I do, because now they don't keep the malls open late, and I don't. 00:39:22 Speaker 3: Know, it's all over. The wonderful days of everything being bad on Black Friday are done. 00:39:27 Speaker 1: Yeah, what the hell? But no Americans are nice? Going back circling back. We are friendly, humor loving people when you keep politics out of it. 00:39:36 Speaker 3: I feel like I would thrive in another country. 00:39:39 Speaker 1: Where would you like to go? 00:39:40 Speaker 3: I mean in a Scandinavian country. I feel like I would that sort of social atmosphere. I'd be perfectly fine. 00:39:46 Speaker 1: I could see that. But you know, you say that, and I don't think you realize how when you have grown up here and how used to the warmth you are. It really for me and I had an amazing time there. I would go back like, I'm not like shitting on their people because I've gotten flacked by this before. But for me, it did slowly chip away at my spirit. I'm being. 00:40:09 Speaker 3: You're a different woman. 00:40:11 Speaker 1: I'm being serious. Though. In London it's better because the English are always always drunk and they're always down for an lol, like they sure she love a little bit of. 00:40:18 Speaker 3: A laugh that crunk, you know, but you well, is there anything left to say about this beautiful sweatshirt? I wish now so much time in Jersey here and there a half Okay, I think it's really underrated. I grew up in a state that was a real butt of jokes Utah, so I always kind of you know, when New Jersey was also, I felt a kinship for New Jersey. 00:40:38 Speaker 1: I actually got canceled by New Jersey years ago. 00:40:41 Speaker 3: You got canceled by New Jersey. 00:40:42 Speaker 1: I haven't thought about this what happened. Okay. I hope it's clear that I love New Jersey and that this was clearly a joke. But you're gonna like this. So before I was a comedian right out of college, I was a legal secretary, okay, and I was blogging secretly. That was like how I kind of got my start. Wonderful, Thank you, that's what. That's the story. 00:41:02 Speaker 3: What an incredible story. Thank you so much for being here, Michelle. 00:41:06 Speaker 1: No, and there was a famous day in New York that you may ring a bell for you, where the whole city smelled like maple syrup. Do you remember that? 00:41:14 Speaker 2: Oh? 00:41:14 Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, of course. 00:41:15 Speaker 1: So did you know that I broke that story? 00:41:17 Speaker 3: No way, yes. 00:41:19 Speaker 1: And I was the very first mention. I think maybe someone of the radio said it, maybe before me, But I was like the first written men show, the first one brave enough to go public and say, hey, sniff, sniff, the whole city smells like maple syrup. And I knew this because I worked down on Wall Street. Again, Secretary always sounds like I had some big job. I was like eating alpo out of the can. I worked down on Wall Street, but I lived near Columbia uptown, and so I used to walk home, or like walk halfway home as my exercise, and the whole walk, I'm like, stinks like maple syrup. And then I had roommates and I got home and my roommate, Sarah Smellon, was like hy Sarah still friends with her. She was like, it smells like syrup. Our room smelled like. 00:41:58 Speaker 3: It, and I smell you want to smell disbodied from food, pancakes have to be nearby. 00:42:05 Speaker 1: It actually was sickening. It was nauseating, and I wrote about it, and fast forward. The New York Times contacted me for a quote because I was the very first like blogger to write about this. This would have been in whenever that happened two thousand and five or six. 00:42:19 Speaker 3: Two thousand and five. 00:42:20 Speaker 1: Okay, I know how I know so, and I said something along the lines of, well, we just figured that stench was coming from New Jersey, where most stenches originated. I made a joke about New Jersey being smelly or having industrial waste, which it does. For the record, I love it. 00:42:40 Speaker 3: But it doesn't. 00:42:41 Speaker 1: Well, this is the thing, and people got I remember, they got pissed me. But that story was why I got fired from my job. 00:42:46 Speaker 3: By the way, that's amazing because my. 00:42:48 Speaker 1: Boss saw it. I was like, are you blogging from here? And I went no, And I think I didn't get fired. Excuse me. I ended up quitting to go work at VH one. But that was like the breaking. 00:42:56 Speaker 3: Out than Michael Syrup. Did they ever figure it out? 00:43:00 Speaker 1: I don't think they did. I think a reporter years later tried to find out and they do. Believe. Correct me if I'm wrong that it was a chemical spell. 00:43:07 Speaker 3: Wow, I think chemicals smell like maybe it was natural flavoring or whatever. 00:43:12 Speaker 1: It was delicious chemicals good to me. I look like two faces girl? Did you get in the chemicals again? I'm like, you caught me? I love chemis. 00:43:20 Speaker 3: Well, you owe everything to New Jersey. 00:43:22 Speaker 1: Actually in a way, yes, so my apologies to New Jersey. I have spent a lot of money in your state. I love Bergen. 00:43:28 Speaker 3: I love this big mall with the ski jump or whatever. The American American Dream's a tough name for a mall that's failing. 00:43:37 Speaker 1: It is failing, right, I think. So have you ever been to the Mall of America? 00:43:40 Speaker 3: No, I've never been to either of these malls. I was obsessed with them as a kid. It's like, I want to go to the biggest mall, but you don't really Your parents don't really have a recent to vacation near one of those malls. No anything vacation destinations. Maybe I'll get to the American dream at some point. I'm back in Jersey every once in a while. 00:43:56 Speaker 1: So we're in Jersey is a boyfriend from Lyndhurst. Great Costco's in New Jersey. New Jersey is a where I believe I got COVID for the first time at a Costco in Wayne. And also they have the best I just I really am pro Jersey. If I had to move back to New York, I would live in Jersey. Probably a lot of people do. Yeah, well, I think we should play a game. Okay, We're gonna play a game called Gift to a Curse. But I need a number between one and ten from you. I have to go. I'll go eight. 00:44:23 Speaker 3: Okay, I have to do some light calculating to get our game pieces right now. You can promote, recommend, do whatever you want. 00:44:28 Speaker 1: Well, I have a show nearly every day on my Patreon. It's called the Michelle Collins showpatreon dot com slash mish Call. You can also go to my Instagram at mish call and link it there. I also have a live show in New York October twenty second at Joe's Pub called Wait, why Don't I Know You? I had one here in La sold out. I did five shows of Joe's Pub. They nearly sold out, and then they were such a rousing success that they gave me another night. And it's really I'm proud of it, and I think people should come see. It's funny. 00:44:58 Speaker 3: Everybody goes see Michelle and yeah, listen to Michelle. Use your internet to figure it out. 00:45:03 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you'd enjoy it. If you like If you like this, if you like this, this is what it is basically every day. It's just. 00:45:11 Speaker 3: Wonderful. 00:45:11 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:45:12 Speaker 3: No, this is a very smart show. People learn this is I say it over and over. It's a utility. Ultimately, they're getting their news from this. Let's check in with Oniz. I want to see if TJ Max ever got if we ever got to the bottom what TJ stands for. 00:45:26 Speaker 1: Nobody knows. 00:45:27 Speaker 3: Nobody knows. It's a mystery, is it. 00:45:30 Speaker 5: Yeah, I tried to dig. There's some theories around, but not not anything that's concrete. 00:45:34 Speaker 1: It's it's just kind of vague. Yeah. 00:45:36 Speaker 3: Wow, TJ. Max needs to speak to that. It's time that they come clean on what TJ stands for. 00:45:42 Speaker 1: Especially what with the popularity of Trader Joe's. You would think they would want to differentiate. 00:45:46 Speaker 3: Themselves unless it is Trader Joe's, and then they're like, we cannot let this get out to the public. This could ruin everything. 00:45:52 Speaker 1: The maximum Trader Joe's. Just you go, and they do have a lot of food items. 00:45:56 Speaker 3: You get in the checkout line. You're going to be buying some caramel core and you're going to be buying some the ex brand chocolate. 00:46:02 Speaker 1: You know, it's really funny. And then I saw so I literally am there every day. I love it. It's fine for me. It's like my museum. And they had pumpkin spice cheesecake popcorn. Oh, and I actually thought the devil is the Devil is among us. I couldn't believe that that was something that someone thought this. There's a market for this. 00:46:19 Speaker 3: Where does the cheesecake come in at that? The pumpkin spice, I get it like I throw the seasoning on it, But then we're getting into like dairy tanginess. 00:46:26 Speaker 1: I don't understand it. The creaminess. I don't like it at all. Sorry, thank you? 00:46:29 Speaker 3: Yes, okay, this is how we play Gift or a curse. I'm going to name three things. You're gonna tell me if they're a gift or a curse and why, and then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong, because there are correct dands. Oh my god, okay, all right. Number one this is from a listener named Kendra. Gift or a curse. Setting your clock a few minutes fast to trick yourself into being on time. Gift Why. 00:46:49 Speaker 1: I have worked on myself, but I used to be chronically late, even though technically I was also late today. But I told you guys, you were you were? 00:46:58 Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I. 00:46:59 Speaker 1: Was on time for the time that way. But as someone who does run late and is constantly trying to improve, I do think that that does work, and I have no issue with it at all. 00:47:10 Speaker 3: Wrong curse this the trick here I will say is we're tricking ourselves. It works for maybe a month, and then you get used to it, and then it's just now you're just living by that time, and it's because you're probably less on time to places because your clock's all screwed up. You've totally bent your what you believe time is, and you've taken yourself out of society. You need to get it back. I know it might work once. Maybe it'll probably work total a month. Then the trick doesn't work anymore. 00:47:40 Speaker 1: You're mistaken. 00:47:41 Speaker 3: It's a bad, bad thing to do. 00:47:43 Speaker 1: Typical of a former best Buy employee to state such lies. I like it. We're not talking. We're not talking like ten minutes. We're talking two three minutes in the range. It helps. 00:47:54 Speaker 3: You're wrong, Okay, you're wrong. You didn't get the point. 00:47:56 Speaker 1: Wow. 00:47:57 Speaker 3: Okay, but that's fine. Let's see if you do any better. Okay, okay. The second one is from a listener named Dan Gift her a curse perfumes at the dog groomer, for example, cotton, candy, pumpkin spice, etc. 00:48:09 Speaker 1: Now I don't have a dog pumpkin spice. I'm mad I have to say curse. Why? Now? Listen I love dogs. When I was at the outlets the other day, these people came with nine Pomeranians. And if you don't think, I did a twenty five minute set for every employee there about it. They were on the floor and you can call the store for proof. But I don't think that dogs should smell unnatural. I think that they should smell soapy. I love a soap smell scent. I like a clean dog. Believe me. I don't love a wet dog smell right, he does, but I do think that it is chemically and unnatural. 00:48:42 Speaker 3: Okay, wrong, Michelle. I'm so sorry to hear this look on a human. No human should smell like a food. When the soap smells like food for people, no thank you with the dog. I love the dog to smell like a treat. I talked to my dog like she's a cookie. Anyway, I think bring her, bring her back smelling like a what's a food? 00:49:07 Speaker 1: Riggotni. I don't know why they came to mind. 00:49:09 Speaker 3: Yeah, not RIGATONI, as long as it's not a savory food. 00:49:12 Speaker 1: A sweet food. 00:49:13 Speaker 3: No sweet food. 00:49:14 Speaker 1: We were just talking about maple syrup smell smelling horrible. 00:49:16 Speaker 3: There's no way starlight mint. I love my dog to smell like starlight mint. 00:49:20 Speaker 1: You think that, and you're wrong. One time I stayed in a hotel which was so minty that my eyes were on fire, and I had to leave in the morning. This is true story. And people I had a show at the time, and people were lice to have one now too, by the way, but the people who listened to me were like, that was a rat infested hotel and they were using mint to get rid of rats. And so you think you don't. 00:49:41 Speaker 3: Oh no, you heard that. The rats are has step down, Kathy, she did. 00:49:45 Speaker 1: That's my new job. I'm like, oh, opening and the rats are the rats are stepped down. She's not doing a good job at the place. 00:49:51 Speaker 3: She's not doing a good job. Well, she's no longer there, so I guess she's I have. 00:49:55 Speaker 1: To stop my feet walking back to this apartment building to get all the rats out of the way. I'll come it down there. Stop stop in the yard bridge. 00:50:01 Speaker 3: Oh god, well she's done ratzarring. Maybe she'll come to La to ratsar. I don't know. 00:50:06 Speaker 1: Do they have a lot of rats here? 00:50:07 Speaker 3: Oh my god, I've seen I think as many rats, if not more, in La than in New York. I've had some bad interactions with rats in LA. 00:50:15 Speaker 1: That's a shame because I remember I love a possum. 00:50:17 Speaker 3: Okay, I've recently like, I don't love them, but I've recently stopped fearing them this month. 00:50:22 Speaker 1: They're so sweet and cute. I watched a. 00:50:23 Speaker 3: Video the other day of someone just petting it, putting his hand in its mouth. It did nothing. 00:50:28 Speaker 1: They're the cutest. There was one I think she passed away named Heidi who was cross eyed. Can we pull up it? Have you ever seen her? You must pull up Heidi. Heidi was a famous cross eye possum. She may have been an opossum, because I know they're different, so please, I'm no different. Yeah. 00:50:44 Speaker 3: I thought that people just had given up on saying oh possum. 00:50:47 Speaker 1: Like when they're like singing like, oh possum, my posa. 00:50:50 Speaker 3: I figured we all possible. We were just like, well, we'll just say possum. 00:50:53 Speaker 1: No, I think it's different. We'll pull it up. But Heidi, the look at her, that's real. Yes, she is an opossum. Excuse me, looks she's so funny. I think she passed the cutest rip And they used to put her in little outfits. Heidi was a true star. 00:51:11 Speaker 3: My entry point for possums was the babies. Once you see a baby possum, you're like, Okay, I'm starting to get what a weird little freak you are? 00:51:19 Speaker 1: God bless, there's so cute. Also, baby skunks. 00:51:21 Speaker 3: I love a baby skunk. Forget about it. 00:51:23 Speaker 1: I'm locked and loaded in. There are just some animals, like baby donkeys. You know, Angelica Houston has a donkey farm, and I think she's doing life the. 00:51:31 Speaker 3: Way I would like to do it. She's got a lot of donkeys she does what does she do with them? She just feeds them and pets. 00:51:36 Speaker 1: And hangs out with them, cleans up their little blueberry duties, you know. 00:51:39 Speaker 3: For Angelica. Yes, she's so great. 00:51:41 Speaker 1: I love her. 00:51:42 Speaker 3: Okay, okay, you've gotten zero so far. Tough to hear. 00:51:47 Speaker 1: Oh I drove all the way into the valley to get zero. 00:51:51 Speaker 3: Not taking the sweatshirt back, so I don't forget. 00:51:53 Speaker 1: I have my own. 00:51:54 Speaker 3: This final one is from a listener named Antonia. Gift her a curse. Finding a piece of hair in your food that you can immediately tell is yours curse? 00:52:02 Speaker 1: Why listen? I don't care you know where to even begin. I just finding hair in food is excuse me. Sometimes that you have short hair, so you wouldn't necessarily know this, but sometimes women you know are my hair falls out quite a bit. 00:52:16 Speaker 5: Oh. 00:52:16 Speaker 1: In fact, there's for sure hair on me as we speak. Nobody wants to pull a hair out because the shock, the ice cold blood that runs through your system in the figuring out period of whose hair is this? You know, to quote Seinfeld when they bought the vodka and Aline goes, well, it's a short hair, and Jerry goes, do you think that makes it better? I mean, it's just it's a hair. So hair. I thought you were going to say, because this I could see as a gift, finding a hair and a meal you didn't like, and then happy reason to send it back and be like, you know, I'm so nauseous. 00:52:48 Speaker 3: I need to carry a little plastic bag of hair around with your just plush. Well, I can't know my hair isn't going to work. They'll know immediately that it's my hair. 00:52:55 Speaker 1: That's true. I'll give you how many forget your hair after feathers? What you need? I have so much shit flying off of me today. It's not even funny. I think you have sweatshirt lint on your head. I just noticed it. Yeah, you got it. Thank you, You're welcome. 00:53:08 Speaker 3: That's my treat to the listener and the viewer. Curse. You're correct, it's an absolute curse. I would much rather it be somebody else's because when it's mine, the immediate feeling is shame. I'm embarrassed. I'm like, oh God, And I don't get to play the little detective of who could this hair be? Who do I get to blame? That's what I ultimately care about when I find a hair in my food is getting to blame another person one thousand to be robbed of that opportunity and have a hair in your food, no thank you. I also have real issues with restaurants that feel comfortable serving food with onion skin and sprouts. Why fool me into thinking, you know, sometimes there's onion skin. 00:53:48 Speaker 1: No, listen. Sometimes you know when you slice an onion, yes, and you get those little like in visit skins between the rings. Right, of course, so sometimes in salads they chop it up, but the invisit skin stay in. 00:54:00 Speaker 3: Wow, that's a sloppy restaurant. 00:54:03 Speaker 1: I won't name what it recently happened to me subway artist. My ass, it's me doing Chicago anyway. Yeah, and sprout a very anti sprout. 00:54:15 Speaker 3: I like, I like a sprout on a sandwich on occasion, but I feel like it's a you're playing a very dangerous game with food poisoning. 00:54:22 Speaker 1: First of all, it is a prime you're basically eating a prime amount of dooty bug. I mean, it's so full of dooty bugs. Yeah, and then just everything about sprouts. 00:54:32 Speaker 3: If we could find a way to really make sure those are clean. Sure, but you know, you hear stories and there's always a news report that they're poisoning people, and ultimately for what, it's not that good. 00:54:44 Speaker 1: I have a question for you, what not to flip the script here and be the host. You walk by a restaurant they have a B grade? You go in or no, I'll go in. Okay, same And. 00:54:53 Speaker 3: I'll actually wait, I actually think a B grade restaurant. You know, they're probably the food's probably a little better. They're concerned about the food, they're not concerned about the exact keeping everything in order. 00:55:04 Speaker 1: So I agree with you, because I was supposed to have dinner or have dinner with my friend. We just didn't go where we intended to go with a friend. A couple of days ago in New York, there was a B grade. She went, I won't go in. I said, you're joking. She goes. Her boyfriend is a manager at a restaurant. She goes, you don't understand how many infractions they have to get to get the bally like, even when they get the A, they're not perfect. Like you know, certain things are whatever to go down A grade, things are bad below would be you're dealing in true. 00:55:30 Speaker 3: Well, then, yeah, what's happening with the C? Why is the sea allowed to remain open? Why are why is the bee allowed? Why is it allowed also go in the bee? You know, I believe in redemption, and I feel like the the B maybe they're trying their best to get back to an A and they're aware of the problems. 00:55:46 Speaker 1: Now, well that's maybe they're saying. Listen, there was a restaurant in Fort Lauderdale. I'm dying to say the name. 00:55:52 Speaker 3: You can say it, can I for sure? Okay, figure we might have to beep it eventually. 00:55:57 Speaker 1: But so there's a restaurant in for a Louderdale called but it's gorgeous. It's like waterfront. You see the boats passing. It's like really on a magical day in Florida, you can really feel happy. There was an article my mom sent to me the like I think it had roach chefs. I think the chefs were it was a roach chef. It was roach to too week. They had roaches. There were so many roaches found there, and i'd e and they're probably like three or four times in my lifetime. So of course I'm like, well, now we can never go back. But then it's like no, but now they're not gonna be there's not gonna be a roach like they have to. Yeah, now's the time to go. 00:56:28 Speaker 3: To right, because I feel like the A restaurants they're riding high. They they're not looking at their problems at all. They're not even thinking about it. No, they're cruising along and the roaches are sneaking in. Meanwhile b is swatting them as soon as they appear. 00:56:41 Speaker 1: That looks like my face when I read that article. Do you see those two holes in that mouth? It's just so funny. 00:56:46 Speaker 3: It just looks like a ninja turtle, and it really does. This will go to Instagram eventually and it'll be so compelling. 00:56:52 Speaker 1: Oh, people are gonna love it. Look at your nice phone case. 00:56:54 Speaker 3: No, it's falling apart. Okay, well you got one out of three. Okay, that's a perfect grade. 00:57:00 Speaker 1: Sounds good to me. State school here, I come. 00:57:03 Speaker 3: All right, Well we should answer a listener questions. Let's let time people writing in. They're sending voice notes to I said no gifts at gmail dot com. We're going to answer a question on alyst. Will you play the question? 00:57:14 Speaker 4: Hello Bridger and Lucky guest. I'm Liz from Milton, Delaware. I was wondering if someone gives a gift such as nuts or cheese or jam to someone who's not a cook or doesn't really care to be in the kitchen, is that a burden because that person then needs to buy crackers or bread or has to think of an idea for that item and maybe they don't want to Or is it really truly a gift because you're providing them with something to eat? 00:57:45 Speaker 3: Thanks in advance. 00:57:47 Speaker 1: I'm so happy her opening was so warm because I'm not going to tear her apart as a results. 00:57:53 Speaker 3: Do you feel like tearing her apart? 00:57:55 Speaker 1: There is an instinct within me that says, of all the questions to ask in the world, I've never gotten a food. Funny enough, my mind goes somewhere else if I get a food gift or I'm like they think, because I eat a lot. You know, I'm so sick as a woman who's grown up a millennial. No, this is how broken I am so No. I mean, imagine you get a first of all, who's giving blocks of cheese as a gift? Is my thing? If you already you know, if you come to someone's home, sure with some cheese, there's an assumption that there's a cracker in the house. 00:58:22 Speaker 3: Right, right, they'd be wrong about me. I don't have any crackers in my house, but I like to eat a cheese. I don't see any problem. I feel like she's got a problem with this. Why else would she have sent the voice note And she's got a huge problem with it. I don't cook. Bring me a jam. I'll find something to spread that on. I might eat it with a spoon. 00:58:39 Speaker 1: I also don't cook. I'm happy you don't. 00:58:41 Speaker 3: I mean, I'm not happy or proud, but it's my life and the ADHD you know all the think so I really do. 00:58:47 Speaker 1: Oh interesting because I can't get it together to cook. I'm like, I don't know what this is. I gotta go and I leave. But I thought her question was going to be, do you clear that they don't have a nut allergy? I thought she was going an allergy room. So for her to then suggests that buying a cracker is such a burden for a generous listen, Darius expensive these days. I would love to get some fake jam and a big thing a breath. 00:59:12 Speaker 3: I'll go out and buy some bread if I get that. Yes, that's not a burden for me. 00:59:16 Speaker 1: Give me a begin anything, but get out of here. I genuinely my mind is erotted. But no, I think it's She was such a nice girl and a beautiful voice. I enjoyed listening to her, so I'm gonna let it go. But no, I think that's fine. 00:59:28 Speaker 3: I think that's perfectly fine. I welcome any you know, as someone who's received literally every type of gift at this point. Oh yeah, somebody brought a little jar of jam. I'll figure it out. 00:59:38 Speaker 1: Have you ever seen six degrees of separation? 00:59:39 Speaker 3: No? What I didn't. I just thought that was like a concept. 00:59:44 Speaker 1: No, oh my, one of the girls, well, it was a play, but then it was turned into a movie with Will Smith, Stocker Channing, Donald Sutherland. 00:59:53 Speaker 3: Oh my god, I just learned about this and Will Smith plays like a gay character. 00:59:59 Speaker 1: Yes he does, right, Michael Hall. I believe it was written by John Guar and I just had to throw that out there because it was killing me that I didn't remember who wrote it. But it's essentially Will Smith is cosplaying as a wealthy Upper east Side guy and be friends the super rich families. These like nose in the air Upper east Side families. But one of the things they do is uh pot of jam. You know that if you have to buy a gift for someone, you get them a pot of jam. And it's just it's actually considered one of the most elegant gifts you can really buy, according to this movie from the nineteen eighty Oh. 01:00:31 Speaker 3: I agree nineties because a good jam is much better than a bad jam. A bad jam, I have no interest in that. 01:00:38 Speaker 1: I've had bad jam. 01:00:39 Speaker 3: I've had bad jam, and I've had My mom makes jam? Does she incredible? Raspberry jam? Really difference with the seed with the seed interesting delicious tart. Most like that most jam you buy is too sweet? 01:00:53 Speaker 1: I love a tart, jam I love. I'm not a chocolate person, so I like an apricot and an orange and greene like a freshman dream. That's haaven for me. 01:01:03 Speaker 3: Take people, jam, I think I answer to the question. 01:01:05 Speaker 1: Of jam and see you have to see six degrees. 01:01:08 Speaker 3: This is the second time it's come up in two months. 01:01:10 Speaker 1: So oh, it's a movie is coming on one of the great soundtracks. The best acting you'll recognize half Anthony rap is in it. JJ Abrams is in it. 01:01:17 Speaker 3: It's just got everybody interesting. Okay, Well, I feel like we answered the question perfectly. Me too, and I now am I'm not even hot in the sweatshirt, by the way, I usually get very warm in here. 01:01:28 Speaker 1: Garbage. This is what I'm trying to say. I was freezing on the flight. I'm like this polyester piece of shit, seventeen fifty for what is that the only question? 01:01:38 Speaker 3: That's the only question. 01:01:38 Speaker 1: So that's it. That's not the whole show. 01:01:41 Speaker 3: That's the show's over. 01:01:42 Speaker 1: We've barely I'm plumbed feathers out here, but crotch here. We barely even hit the hour. 01:01:46 Speaker 3: I thought we barely hit an hour. Yeah, I've lost I'm telling you. I have totally lost track of time, Michelle. In a way, something's gone used to my biological like internal clock used to be a Swiss act. You know, I thought we had just gone the regular length of an episode. 01:02:03 Speaker 1: Well, because I make time pass so fast, it sounds to me like I deserve a second point for changing the time on a watch. 01:02:11 Speaker 3: Well, listen, we can Analise has a gift a curse we can do onalse is gonna read us there gift to a curse and we both have to answer Analise, do you know what it is? We weren't wearing the headphones? 01:02:21 Speaker 1: Gift you a curse? 01:02:23 Speaker 5: Decorating your Christmas tree for Halloween? 01:02:26 Speaker 1: Oh well, my mind hurts from that one. I'm not gonna lie. That gave me a little bit of a brain pain. 01:02:33 Speaker 3: Have you seen this happen before? 01:02:35 Speaker 1: No? 01:02:35 Speaker 3: Okay? 01:02:37 Speaker 1: Can you no? Because I'm sorry? When do you put the Christmas tree up? Okay? 01:02:42 Speaker 3: Well that's a great question. That is a very good question. I feel like there's one person I follow on Instagram who's out of her mind, and I've spoken about her on this podcast a lot of time, and she has her Christmas tree up at times at least until Valentine's Day becomes a Valentine's state tree. So a real tree, it has to be a fake tree must be fake. Yeah, otherwise she's begging for a home fire. 01:03:07 Speaker 1: You know, needles galore? What is this train spotting three? I mean, we can't have that, Okay, go on. 01:03:13 Speaker 3: So I feel like there is a culture of this, and so I wonder if there's some feeling of like, well, we'll put up the tree then we want to well we want it'll already be up for Christmas, but we'll do Halloween. I mean, what do you think gift for a curse? 01:03:30 Speaker 1: Listen to me. Look, part of the joy of the Christmas season, which I do partake in gladly, is the specialness of saving joy for winter. You have to save joy and lights. I mean, that's what makes visiting like New York or London or a town that gets Christmas y. That's what makes it fun. You get to go in November, late November, December, see the lights, and then January comes and they wax that, they rip it out from under you. They go, no, it's over, so that you can appreciate it while. 01:04:01 Speaker 3: It's up right right. 01:04:02 Speaker 1: So to me, I think putting your tree up in October is sick, especially now that it's so warm in October. Number one, But like, also save the joy, make it special. So I think decorating also Halloween is a wicked holiday. 01:04:16 Speaker 3: Well, you're famously kind of you don't celebrate any holidays. You feel like this is a satanic You know. 01:04:23 Speaker 1: You have a point. I don't really cell Wait, hold on, I don't really celebrate holidays. Hold on, no, I actually do celebrate like New Year's Christmas. I like, I don't celebrate Christmas for religious reasons, but as an American, I celebrate it for fun. It's fun. It's just fun to you know, get dressed and things like that. 01:04:40 Speaker 3: Yeah, so you're saying curse. Yes, I think I tend to agree with that curse. And I think it's kind of in the same realm we're doing this to Halloween now, where it's like people are starting to decorate for Halloween in August and now we're combining it with Christmas. With the decorations, now, this is no longer special. Nobody knows what this means. It's not the Christmas tree is not scary. It's gotta be spooky. You've got to have a spooky decoration. 01:05:04 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's why they're selling skeletons my size at home. People put it on your house. If you care so much about Halloween, go buy some cotton, put some spiderwebs. 01:05:12 Speaker 3: Up, yes on October first, and have those things down November first. I don't care what else is going on in your life. Keep it together. I can barely tell what time it is. Ever, I can't be driving past Halloween decorations mid September. 01:05:26 Speaker 1: When I see those spirit halloweens pop up in August, I'm like sick. Ohs. Anyone buying your costume in August is sick in the head. I don't want to see skulls in August. I don't like it. I don't like skulls in general. But because I don't like it's a wicked holiday, I don't. I don't even like getny dressed up for Halloween. People always think because I'm like a funny girl and I like to laugh, they was going, you must love Halloween. Hate I love to perform. Hate Halloween. It's like how I hate Santa Coon. 01:05:50 Speaker 3: They're just certainly I mean, who who among us likes Santa? 01:05:54 Speaker 1: But there is a commonality there because it's people who the whole year they're a little quiet, and I respect it. This is their time to shine, then do it. But it's just not my time. You know. They use Halloween. They're like, this is the night I'm gonna slut it up. I'm gonna really go nuts. It's like New Year's you know. And I think that's great if that's how you let loose, fantastic for me, that's the night that I want to truly stain, be at my street, clothes under the covers, shoes on, and not leave the house. 01:06:22 Speaker 3: What am I going to get a holiday to slutt it up? I don't get where's my holiday for slotting around flooding? 01:06:28 Speaker 1: Well, isn't that like pride? Don't be Oh no, that's wrong. 01:06:33 Speaker 3: I feel like Pride's not even for me. They've kicked me out of the community. They're keeping me at arms. Leg what happens, I'll go with Arbor Day. 01:06:41 Speaker 1: Tree holiday. You can't steal my holiday. 01:06:44 Speaker 3: I've got allow that. 01:06:45 Speaker 1: I have not allow you to impinge and infringe on Arbor Day. What about there's got to be something for you. 01:06:53 Speaker 3: Let's see May President's Day. You look like you could president on President's Day. Oh yeah, I'm not. I so I don't get Saint Patrick's Day. 01:07:01 Speaker 1: What's your background? 01:07:02 Speaker 3: Scottish? English, German? 01:07:05 Speaker 1: Can you get your English passport? 01:07:07 Speaker 3: I should look into that. 01:07:08 Speaker 1: I really should, and then marry me. Sorry, boyfriend. We'll have this episode as proof when we fell in love. When you show to the government, I'm like, no, this was the moment. 01:07:15 Speaker 3: Sparks too. 01:07:18 Speaker 1: We cut the pride stuff out. I'm like no, he we locked eyes in our jersey sweatshirts and me. 01:07:24 Speaker 3: We consummated the marriage with this audience. Oh well, I'm going to look into a holiday to get slutty. We'll find it. Yes, I'll find Easter. 01:07:35 Speaker 1: Oh that's an easy one. Easter is an easy one. 01:07:38 Speaker 3: Rabbit cost now, you know what? 01:07:39 Speaker 1: Even saying that, I'm like, wait, maybe I do need to slut it up on hall. I'm gonna be in Miami on Halloween. 01:07:42 Speaker 3: What was the last Halloween costume you had? 01:07:45 Speaker 2: Oh? 01:07:45 Speaker 1: My god, I gotta rack my brain. What was the last hallowen? I remember that I spent a lot of time. I was going to a party this years ago, probably pre COVID, okay, and I thought it would be funny now mind you, this was in like twenty nineteen. I have to defend myself. But I thought it would be funny instead of being a basic bitch, to be a basic witch. So I bought uggs, I went to a T shirt chop and I made the Starbucks logo with a witch hat. I was like, bro, you are so funny. In my mind, it was the only time I've ever really put effort into a costume. Couldn't have been a bigger loser on Holloway. I mean it was Oh. I put a Starbucks copper on a broom. I was like, this is so funny. People are gonna love my basic witch. And then even having to say basic witch was humiliation off off. I hated every second of that. I was like, this is why I hate this holiday. When I was little, I had some cute little costumes. I was a freaky kid, so I was Skeletor one year star Field that was pee wee Like I was like a bit of a little weirdo. 01:08:41 Speaker 3: Yeah right, I still am, well, you should dress up this year. 01:08:44 Speaker 1: I know what should I be? Pee wee again? 01:08:47 Speaker 3: Pee? 01:08:47 Speaker 1: I love me some peewee. 01:08:48 Speaker 3: I got to buy a suit though, I mean it requires that's an expensive costume. 01:08:52 Speaker 1: Actually, I know back in my day it was some toys arrests. It was like a right when you can buying. 01:08:56 Speaker 3: On it, potentially a plastic Paul Ruben's face or something. 01:09:00 Speaker 1: Literally what I had, I could be ed guyine. I don't know. I would send the news this skin. I thought, you're making. 01:09:06 Speaker 3: A big mistake here, which is going topical. Don't go topical on Halloween. You will regret it every time because you'll look back and be like, oh my god, what was I thinking? 01:09:17 Speaker 1: Remember when I was Michael Ducoccus, No one liked that. Everybody went, what is she thinking? And I said, people are going to be a hit. 01:09:24 Speaker 3: This is the year you should be Michael Ducaccus. Actually, yes, this Marilyn Quail. 01:09:28 Speaker 1: That's a good one. There you go, spring hairspray in my mouth. I'm like, I'm a drunk. What was her thing? I mean I was like ten when that happened, So this is me. 01:09:34 Speaker 3: Really what did she do? 01:09:36 Speaker 1: She was an alcoholic and she used to drink hairspray. Oh wow, yeah, I remember even as a kid, I was like, bad bitch, I love it. 01:09:42 Speaker 3: And you would drink hairspray by with the aerosol. 01:09:45 Speaker 1: Yes, because I think that they were. This is, by the way, I'm now lying. I don't know if this is what happened out. She definitely drank hairspray that I remember, But my theory is obviously that she was dangerous around the sauce, and so they sauce freed the house and then she was like, well, gotta get a work, and then grabbed a white rain can and went to town. And we don't consider that huffing because it's spraying. She's drinking it. Have you ever killed a bug with hair spray? 01:10:09 Speaker 3: I have no, I haven't, but it works. It seems kind of humane. 01:10:12 Speaker 1: I think so too. 01:10:13 Speaker 3: Make them beautiful and then yeah, stop them out, freeze them in time. 01:10:16 Speaker 1: Yes, stunning. What are you going to be for Halloween? Bridge? 01:10:19 Speaker 3: I have no plans this year. 01:10:21 Speaker 1: The to Miami. I have a big apartment. I'm doing it. 01:10:24 Speaker 3: The covers genes wait, I would love that. 01:10:27 Speaker 1: Perfect for the government. They love that be like we were closing up on well, then we're getting somewhere. 01:10:33 Speaker 3: Okay, we're building a story. We're building a narrative. 01:10:36 Speaker 1: Everyone has a story. Love her. I could be Kathili Giffert. What would you call costume? This is hard? 01:10:44 Speaker 3: Last year I went as Jessica Chessain, just trying to run a few errands and it works perfectly, funny, it worked perfectly. All I had to do is essentially put on a wig in some ath leisure and get a target bag. 01:10:55 Speaker 1: Bam, that is good. Were you her in Molly's Game? Or which version was her? 01:11:00 Speaker 3: Out on the town? Just everyone leave me alone. I just need to do a quick target trip. That's who I was, and it works. I mean I did have to explain it to every single person, which has its ups and downs, but I think I got the costume correctly. 01:11:13 Speaker 1: Yeah. I like that a lot. I think it's hard being a celebrity, though not for me. 01:11:18 Speaker 3: I pick a redheaded woman and I'm sot on my way. 01:11:21 Speaker 1: I gotta pick a lady with big bones. Who would that be? Don't say it. I'm going to be mad. Whatever you say. I'm gonna be a fan in that. 01:11:28 Speaker 3: We should have a quick conversation. This is I feel like there should at least be an annual reminder to every single person on earth. No one ever wants to hear who they look like. 01:11:36 Speaker 1: No, don't say it. 01:11:38 Speaker 3: Why in the world would you ever tell somebody that. 01:11:41 Speaker 1: Let me tell you something? It backfires every time I think the like sometimes people will say when they think is nice, and I'm like, all right, but I won't even I'm not gonna say. But it's like it's tough, right. 01:11:52 Speaker 3: You just don't like to hear it, and then you start thinking like, oh, what like feature are they zeroing in on? It will unsettle you for weeks weeks unless it is objectively the most beautiful person alive, no one wants to hear. 01:12:06 Speaker 1: A thousand percent. 01:12:08 Speaker 3: And it's shocking how many people don't know that. 01:12:11 Speaker 1: Listen, I've done it, I've said, I said to people, I'm sure because sometimes but in my mind it's always some when I find attractive. 01:12:18 Speaker 3: Everybody has their type, and your type might be unattractive to the person by. 01:12:22 Speaker 1: The way to most Now we're getting somewhere. Actually, yes, that is my favorite. 01:12:27 Speaker 3: It was a trap. It's a trap for everybody. Okay, so that's a reminder. How did we get here? No one ever knows on this podcast. 01:12:34 Speaker 1: Where do we go from here? Did you see Rachel Ziegler singing as to a concert with the pladi Oh, interesting. No good, very good. I mean she's a real born and bred talent, that Rachel. She's very good. Uh really blew her pipes on every song. You know there was not a moment of She's sang stars from Limaz you know, sure, sure in every word. 01:12:56 Speaker 3: My boyfriend was toured with Limaz. 01:12:58 Speaker 1: No as who oh my gosh, he's that funny. 01:13:03 Speaker 3: He's a funny man. 01:13:04 Speaker 1: Hold on, I'm seeing lame Is tomorrow night here in la Oh no way, Yes, I was saying, wouldn't that be so exciting? Would you want to come? No, you're busy. 01:13:17 Speaker 3: I've seen it once. That's nothing. It's a long show. 01:13:22 Speaker 1: I not long enough. Call up Shoenberg and booble eel because I've got notes. I say, more songs, more pain I need, I need. You know what I saw? Can I say one last thing? 01:13:36 Speaker 3: Yeah? 01:13:37 Speaker 1: Only because I really love the show. I spread the gospel of the show to every show I go on everyone I meet. Are you going to be in London anytime soon? 01:13:44 Speaker 3: No? I wish? 01:13:45 Speaker 1: Why not? 01:13:47 Speaker 3: I have no reason to be there. 01:13:48 Speaker 1: Well, anyway, next time you go to London, listener and you you gotta see Oliver Richard. 01:13:54 Speaker 3: People love Oliver. 01:13:56 Speaker 1: I hate children, you know that. I thought, I don't want to see it. I don't care, and I went almost as a favor. I went because a friend had tickets and said, you want to go see it, and I thought, well, I guess for free. I'll go to anything for free, and I went. By the end, I was buying merch. I was crazed. I was like out of my head at Oliver, it's I think it might be. Hello Dolly is one of the greatest shows I've seen live? 01:14:21 Speaker 3: Did you see it with Bette Midler? 01:14:22 Speaker 1: I was too poor. I saw with Donna Murphy, but it was just as good. I saw with Gavin and Beani and everybody, but it was Donna. Donna was great. 01:14:27 Speaker 3: I got to see bet No dear luck unbelievable. I mean, she's like a birthday party. 01:14:34 Speaker 1: You're so it was. I couldn't the tickets looks. 01:14:36 Speaker 3: We got a deal. Thank god. 01:14:40 Speaker 1: I have no connections, so I had no deal. But I saw Hello Dolly. Lay Miss is one of my top of all time, but it was top three easily of best live shows ever. 01:14:48 Speaker 3: Okay, I'm gonna have to look into Oliver. 01:14:50 Speaker 1: You have no clue what you're getting yourselves down the track. Listen to the original with Jonathan Price. Okay, it'll really get you in the mood. And I got to say everyone, the those kids, I would have a child. I would if I could guarantee talent. I'm being deadly serious. If you could tell me, then shall have a child. And then in five, six years, ten, fifteen, twenty years, your kid will be blowing hole. That's not what I want to say, blowing their pipes on a West End stage. Forget it. In a second, roll the dice, see if it happens. Oh, I couldn't possibly. Thank God for our parents are so blessed. Of course we get to watch us do what we do. 01:15:29 Speaker 3: Shine. This is my parents, Oliver, this podcast. 01:15:35 Speaker 1: I love it so much. Okay, I'm done. We can wrap now. Thank you. I got the extra time I needed. 01:15:39 Speaker 3: No, I'm so happy. 01:15:40 Speaker 1: I had the best time. 01:15:41 Speaker 3: Thank you. So I'm so happy to have the sweatshirt. I'm so happy we actually got to do the podcast. 01:15:46 Speaker 1: Me too. We I'm gonna ask you though, when you get gifts, do you ever not like the gift that people give you? 01:15:50 Speaker 3: Oh? 01:15:50 Speaker 1: I get a lot of crap, and you say. 01:15:51 Speaker 3: It if it's really a bad item, we'll discuss how bad it is. 01:15:55 Speaker 1: Got it okay? 01:15:55 Speaker 3: Good? You know, Usually it's like it's at least something cute or interesting enough to like display or something. But occasionally it's something that just has to be shoved in a cupboard. And then there have been some real There have been like I think three bomb gifts, which I won't say which I leave that up to the listener to guess. But otherwise it's something to talk about. What's the best gift you've gotten. It's a very good question. 01:16:20 Speaker 1: Have you always been? Is that like a common one? 01:16:22 Speaker 3: Yeah, and I feel like it's a tie. I would say for practicality, I got a car garbage can from the comedy writer John Milstein, and it's changed my life. The other thing that felt, I'm never getting married. I have no interest in getting married, and I'm so jealous of people who get married and get to get appliances they don't need. Cola Skull gave me a very nice waffle maker. 01:16:45 Speaker 1: Wow, we love some Cola Skull. I mean, of course brought the best gift. 01:16:50 Speaker 3: It's truly one of those things where it is like I would have never considered purchasing this waffle maker, and now I have this nice you use it. I've used it a couple. 01:16:58 Speaker 1: Of gonna use this more than I don't care who has won a Tony on this show. I don't care what awards meaningless. I'm sorry. I I've won an award in my time, and I think that you will get more use out of your new jersey sweatshirts. 01:17:14 Speaker 3: I'm going to make a waffle in this sweatshirt. 01:17:17 Speaker 1: I'd like to see it. 01:17:18 Speaker 3: Do everybody proud? 01:17:19 Speaker 1: That's sweet? Okay, I'll accept. Thank you well, thank you so much for having me. I adore you funniest before. 01:17:24 Speaker 3: Before we exit, let let it be known. 01:17:26 Speaker 5: Let the record show that you're both incorrect and that decorating in the tree for Halloween is in fact a gift. 01:17:36 Speaker 1: So selfish, go on listen. 01:17:40 Speaker 5: I'm I am a big Halloween head, though, so I I don't. 01:17:43 Speaker 1: I really do have a horse in this race. 01:17:45 Speaker 5: I love being able to celebrate it for a little bit longer than we. 01:17:51 Speaker 1: Can question. 01:17:53 Speaker 5: Well, I have some good incandescent lights that are purple and orange. I get some spooky decorations. 01:18:00 Speaker 3: You think because you're behind that glass, you're safe. 01:18:03 Speaker 5: Oh I know, I know. 01:18:05 Speaker 1: I am Anally's. Can I ask you a question? Sure? Are you particular about where you buy your Halloween uh? Accoutrement or decor? 01:18:12 Speaker 3: Like? 01:18:12 Speaker 1: Will you go to Michael's or is that beneath you? Are you kidding? I love a Michael's CIGARETI did, and that's funny. And I want to ask another question. Do you think your obsession with Halloween is connected to any trauma from your child? 01:18:25 Speaker 3: I think it is for everybody. 01:18:26 Speaker 1: It has to be, I mean, for that's why I don't like. 01:18:29 Speaker 3: It, you know any interesting? 01:18:30 Speaker 1: Probably? 01:18:30 Speaker 5: Yeah, I think everybody has their own reasons for liking scary things. I think for me it is a little bit of like, I am an anxious person and it is like, uh, it's controlled fears. And honestly, I'm to bring it full circle to the beginning of the podcast, surprised you don't like it more because Halloween and a lot of films are all about standing up for yourself. 01:18:50 Speaker 3: So interesting. 01:18:51 Speaker 1: Yeah, We're gonna have to later episode because I'm not seeing the connection there. But Iyadoria and I love you and thanks for having me. 01:18:59 Speaker 3: Thank you for being here and listener the podcast. You know it's over, you know yet you kind of got tricked. But this is the final part of the podcast where I say goodbye. I kick you out of the boat and you learn to swim. I love you goodbye. I said, No Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is on Alisa Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Tolliday. The theme song is by miracle Worker Amy Mann, and we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cottner. You must follow the show on Instagram at I said no Gifts, That's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see the gifts? 01:19:44 Speaker 1: And why did you hear? Fun? 01:19:48 Speaker 2: A man myself perfectly clear? But you're I guess you gotta come to me empty And I said, no, guest, your own presence is presents enough. I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare to surbey me?