Speaker 1: Forever.
Speaker 2: Yes, hello, hi ah, I'm feeling good, are you? Yeah?
Speaker 3: I mean we spent like an hour and a half together.
Speaker 2: We did. We recorded Patreon.
Speaker 1: Please go to our Patreon and uh listen to our
Speaker 1: messier messier episodes.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, I don't think we said anything messy today.
Speaker 4: We are classy cunty ladies.
Speaker 2: We are classic.
Speaker 1: Cunts, classy cunts. Can we do that as march on jackets?
Speaker 1: Classy classy cunts?
Speaker 4: I like that incursive on the back of like a
Speaker 4: letterman jacket, like a varsity jacket.
Speaker 3: We can't do times normal times, new Roman wingings.
Speaker 2: Let's put it in wingedings.
Speaker 3: Yes, well, what do we do last night? We have
Speaker 3: movie night? And that was cute.
Speaker 2: Yes we did.
Speaker 4: We watched probably the best worst movie I've ever seen.
Speaker 5: In my life.
Speaker 2: It's obviously the worst. It was a two hour movie.
Speaker 2: I have no idea what the movie was about. It
Speaker 2: was called Superfly, and.
Speaker 4: There was nothing super or fly about it, No except
Speaker 4: for maybe that wig.
Speaker 3: Was it a lace front? Did we figure out it
Speaker 3: might be his hair? But we watched it. Marie, my girlfriend,
Speaker 3: and some other people were smoking weed and we laughed
Speaker 3: for two hours.
Speaker 2: Two hours.
Speaker 3: We were roasting everybody in the movie.
Speaker 2: The movie was so bad. Yeah, but we.
Speaker 3: Were being typical black people in a movie theater, just
Speaker 3: yelling at the.
Speaker 1: Scream screaming, well, you know they can't read right, just screaming.
Speaker 2: Wow, he's gotta wear white every day.
Speaker 4: There was like a there was a whole team of
Speaker 4: people in the movie that only wore white.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're a gang.
Speaker 4: Their guns were spray painted white, their cars were white.
Speaker 4: One dude had on cream in one scene and we
Speaker 4: were like, oh, wow, that's not white. Wardrobe failed.
Speaker 1: And then there was this really bad threesome sex scene,
Speaker 1: like a full on sex scene, like butt naked, and
Speaker 1: he had a bad body, yes, and by a bad body,
Speaker 1: I mean it was like he wasn't buff enough.
Speaker 3: For No, he didn't have any back muscle, he had
Speaker 3: no bicep.
Speaker 4: It was like a straight toothpick arm, and his he
Speaker 4: had like a perm in the movie. And in it
Speaker 4: was a shower scene that the sex happened in and
Speaker 4: his hair got wet and we were screaming for a
Speaker 4: shower cap because then his hair got wet, and then
Speaker 4: the next scene is him with his hair straight.
Speaker 5: Again.
Speaker 3: I was like, so we're not gonna show. Is him
Speaker 3: getting his hair blown out?
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're not going to a tiny hot comb nobody.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they didn't. We didn't get to see the real
Speaker 3: scenes that we want.
Speaker 4: It was a crazy sex scene too, because they like
Speaker 4: at one point he's laying on the floor of the
Speaker 4: shower and the two women are on top of him
Speaker 4: and it was like, you know, his back is now
Speaker 4: covered in pubes.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, because it was his shower.
Speaker 5: It was gross.
Speaker 2: I don't trust the manically in.
Speaker 1: Their bathroom enough to be laying on my back in
Speaker 1: the shower.
Speaker 5: Marie.
Speaker 2: Have you had shower sex? Yes, but I did not
Speaker 2: lay down. Friend.
Speaker 4: Also, shower sex is like not convenient for anybody, right,
Speaker 4: it's slippery, Marie.
Speaker 5: I'm trying to wait, what did you do with your hair?
Speaker 4: Maybe the shower, maybe the maybe the the.
Speaker 2: The thing was like tilted straight down? Is it shower
Speaker 2: sex if none of us are getting wet?
Speaker 5: Hm?
Speaker 2: Murray? Was this recent? No? Sitting here?
Speaker 3: Look how uncomfortable. I'm sorry. Well, I haven't hadow slower
Speaker 3: shower sex in such a long time. It's too messy
Speaker 3: and my bathroom is not big enough for all that.
Speaker 3: What are you talking about our bathroom are tub it's
Speaker 3: not big enough, and the water when it's on one
Speaker 3: person the other person is called the way cold, and
Speaker 3: I hate that we both have to be in the shower.
Speaker 2: So do y'all have shower sex when it's wash day?
Speaker 1: Through the hairt No, we gotta be in the tub.
Speaker 1: It's got to be a bath.
Speaker 2: Okay, So baths okay, Yeah, that's different sets. Yeah, we
Speaker 2: gotta have bath secks.
Speaker 1: Just like and you gotta have bath sex right when
Speaker 1: the water hits the tub and it hasn't been Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you drop the bath bomb and then you drop the
Speaker 1: coach bomb.
Speaker 2: Yes, it's nice, pissy bomb. Yes, that's how does that
Speaker 2: work with lesbians? What do you mean bath sex? How?
Speaker 2: How does that work? What do you mean?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 2: What are y'all doing?
Speaker 5: Fucking having sex?
Speaker 1: But how well, there's a strap ln in the bathtub. Yes,
Speaker 1: you can do whatever you want in the bathtub. It's
Speaker 1: your bathtub.
Speaker 2: Wow. Wow, there's breaking you use it. You can use
Speaker 2: a whole arm. Wow as a dick, you know that
Speaker 2: full arm?
Speaker 1: Yeah you've never been fisted, but no, Sydney, I have
Speaker 1: never been fisted in my life.
Speaker 2: Never. It's a full vis look at how big my
Speaker 2: knuckles are.
Speaker 4: Wow, Sidney, You're just Ray Charleston people, just the whole fist.
Speaker 4: I saw this crazy video on you on Twitter that
Speaker 4: somebody showed me of this woman that I guess she
Speaker 4: had been fisted in her butt and they poured fruit
Speaker 4: loops in it and.
Speaker 2: Ate the cereal. Did you say that?
Speaker 6: Like?
Speaker 2: It was crazy? I mean, can you send it to me?
Speaker 4: Listen, Zach showed it to me, so I gotta I
Speaker 4: gotta get him to send it.
Speaker 2: To me, or so, can you please? I gotta do this.
Speaker 2: I got it.
Speaker 4: It's gross, but I feel like she was I feel
Speaker 4: like she was farting a little bit and it was like.
Speaker 2: Bubb I love fruit loops. That's my favorite. That and
Speaker 2: Rice Krispy Treats.
Speaker 1: Oh you just like sugar diabetes asolute, baby. Rice Crispy
Speaker 1: Treats was just sugar cube. Yes, baby, I am here
Speaker 1: for some fruit.
Speaker 3: I like my be I like my taint very sweet.
Speaker 2: Your taint taint is that the taint outside the butt?
Speaker 4: Maybe I thought the taint was like the little area
Speaker 4: between your butt and your coach.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you never stuck on that before.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, we're getting today six minutes.
Speaker 4: You know, my pastor listen to the podcast, Hey pastor,
Speaker 4: Fry Ray, were you're an expert in anything this week?
Speaker 4: As an expert in being mean this week? A bully
Speaker 4: if you will?
Speaker 2: Really?
Speaker 5: Yeah? Oh wow, what a call back? What did you do?
Speaker 2: Friends? You know all the things that I always do.
Speaker 2: I'm like, am I mean? Or are you sensitive?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 4: That's a good Oh so where does my meanness stack
Speaker 4: up to like the people that you surround yourself with?
Speaker 2: You know? If I'm mean that? Like, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I have no idea how to finish that sentence.
Speaker 1: Let's let's ask the listeners. Do you think Marie is
Speaker 1: a bully? Do you think she's mean?
Speaker 4: I mean, you think she has no heart? Okay, yes,
Speaker 4: she's mean. She's a bully. She has no heart.
Speaker 2: I do have a heart. It's just little. It's like
Speaker 2: a like a.
Speaker 4: Like a tiny ice cube, like you know when you
Speaker 4: do you you put water in the ice tray and like.
Speaker 2: One cube won't be full.
Speaker 4: For some reason, like you feel the tray and then
Speaker 4: they all freeze and one is like half.
Speaker 2: That's my heart, Like that little half cube. I love it.
Speaker 3: It's like a little nemo fin Oh my god, I
Speaker 3: love it.
Speaker 5: It's great.
Speaker 2: My heart is a nemo fin.
Speaker 1: I mean, in the almost five years that we've been friends,
Speaker 1: I feel like your heart has gotten a little bit bigger. Wow,
Speaker 1: And I'll take it where my heart used to be
Speaker 1: Ami on set it best.
Speaker 2: Used to be. Yes.
Speaker 1: I don't think you're a bully. I think you're You're
Speaker 1: who you are, and I accept you as you. You've
Speaker 1: made me cry many times when it made me re
Speaker 1: evaluate myself. I said me, look in when when Marie
Speaker 1: hurts her feelings, you're like, it must be me. She's
Speaker 1: that abusive that you think it's all it's you.
Speaker 2: Look, it's not hurts me, it's me.
Speaker 5: Ya.
Speaker 2: What do you say that it's that it's you? Oh,
Speaker 2: you don't think it's you think it's me. Wow, let's
Speaker 2: talk about it and shock spicy.
Speaker 1: After all that we've been through in this studio, all
Speaker 1: the shick shock we had together.
Speaker 2: I mean, but we've been making him pay for his
Speaker 2: own food. Yeah we do, that's true. Well, he's a producer,
Speaker 2: he's got to pay right, Okay, Well, Andrew, you know,
Speaker 2: maybe you should look in word.
Speaker 5: You know I've done and I.
Speaker 1: Know sometimes say you're just a little road, and that's fine.
Speaker 3: Listen, our rudest friends are our bestest friends.
Speaker 5: That's what honesty.
Speaker 1: And truly, I feel like that's what your rude friend
Speaker 1: is going to say the ship that you can't say.
Speaker 4: Your rude friend is going to say the stuff that
Speaker 4: you need to hear. Ah, but we call you a
Speaker 4: sexy tall producer intern.
Speaker 2: Okay, what the problem is? Producer intern? We always in
Speaker 2: we go back and listen to all of the episodes.
Speaker 1: Since the minute we started saying it, we always say
Speaker 1: our tall, gay producer intern.
Speaker 2: It's true, it did and that was me. It was me.
Speaker 2: It did start with that, I said intern. But then
Speaker 2: but we say producer intern.
Speaker 1: Now, yeah, we changed it and we said tall, sexy, single,
Speaker 1: ready to man, lives in Chelsea by himself.
Speaker 2: Your roommate intern.
Speaker 5: He's doing great.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Wow, Andrew, I feel like that.
Speaker 5: I hate it.
Speaker 1: You needed to get that off here, that N word.
Speaker 1: You had to look inward you see and you tell him,
Speaker 1: are you mad?
Speaker 5: Whatever?
Speaker 2: You gotta get off your chest, bro, This is where
Speaker 2: to do it. This is where we're gonna do it.
Speaker 2: A spot yeah.
Speaker 1: Wait okay, and so I was an expert in uh
Speaker 1: taking the time that I needed the first week of work?
Speaker 1: Did I say mention this already? Did I mention it
Speaker 1: on the podcast that I fell asleep at work?
Speaker 2: Andrew?
Speaker 5: I did?
Speaker 2: Fuck, we'll say it again. I'm gonna say it again.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I fell asleep at work.
Speaker 2: Guys, you know what's happen again. It's good. Okay, So
Speaker 2: we didn't say it.
Speaker 1: Okay, So I fell asleep the first week, the last
Speaker 1: day of my first week, I fell asleep, and I
Speaker 1: was sitting on a couch. And it's just like, you
Speaker 1: can't be on a couch and not take a little nap.
Speaker 1: I can, but yeah, sure, I fell asleep and I
Speaker 1: tried to play it off. And you woke up, your
Speaker 1: hair was in your mouth. You're like, mind you what
Speaker 1: was on my laptop? Kevin Hart was not watching his
Speaker 1: new special if that If you guys want to know
Speaker 1: my review on Kevin Hart, I fell asleep.
Speaker 4: Wow, Well, I mean Kevin Hart has released I think
Speaker 4: too many specials back to back at this point for
Speaker 4: newer ones to be funny.
Speaker 2: Honey, to close my eyes and I didn't look back.
Speaker 3: And I still have a job, So I'm looking forward
Speaker 3: to next week.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's real. I love that for you. I'm so
Speaker 2: happy for you taking the time that you need. Guys,
Speaker 2: taking a little bit of you time. That's called self care.
Speaker 3: Yes, and speaking of self care, our guests today Wow
Speaker 3: is a gym gen Jelic. She's a comedian and a
Speaker 3: producer and she is our getting dumped experts. Ah love it,
Speaker 3: give it up for Jinny grlic Hi.
Speaker 5: Yeah, jn Wow, thank you for calling me angelic.
Speaker 2: You are you? Actually your energy is very angelic.
Speaker 4: But I feel like you might have been one of
Speaker 4: like the mean popular kids in school.
Speaker 5: I actually was not, but I held onto that energy
Speaker 5: and now I use it when I need to. You know,
Speaker 5: I didn't have the opportunity to be a mean girl
Speaker 5: in school, but now you know it's pent up.
Speaker 4: So yeah, you're giving me Gretchen wienersgy thank you, right,
Speaker 4: like not Regina George, but like adjacent.
Speaker 5: Right, Like my father invented pop charts.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, that's a good one. Poptarts. Tell people that. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you should just tell people that.
Speaker 3: I mean, it goes with you everything.
Speaker 4: Thank you going around saying that their father invented post its.
Speaker 2: What was that.
Speaker 4: From the invented that they invented post its. I love
Speaker 4: that post its postmates. My dad invented postmates. Maybe say that, Yeah,
Speaker 4: that'd be good. Jenny, Where where are you from and
Speaker 4: do you have any feedback on anything that you heard
Speaker 4: thus far?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 5: I love that we started super intimate. That was really fun.
Speaker 2: Yes, with your stance on shower or bath six.
Speaker 5: I've never had bath sex, and I feel like I
Speaker 5: need to immediately, So that's next on my list. Mm hmm.
Speaker 5: Shower sex. I like, I think you need to be
Speaker 5: having it with someone that you're not using condoms with.
Speaker 2: So wait, who was using condoms in the sh.
Speaker 5: No one, So, like you, you can't. It has to
Speaker 5: be someone that you save sex right right, So for
Speaker 5: that reason, you know, has not happened recently. For me,
Speaker 5: it's like that's a that's a boyfriend thing, and you're
Speaker 5: not there yet. I'm not there yet. I'm not there
Speaker 5: right now, And that.
Speaker 2: Is so on brand because you're good at getting done.
Speaker 5: I'm really good at getting done. Circle bitch.
Speaker 4: Seems so sweet, but I feel like it's a little
Speaker 4: ticky ticky boom here, a little ticky ticky boom.
Speaker 2: You feel it, you feel like it.
Speaker 5: Doesn't see it.
Speaker 1: When I see your pictures on Instagram. I'm like, she
Speaker 1: looks like such a good person. She's gotta have killed
Speaker 1: a cat at least.
Speaker 2: No, right, she ran over a cat. Be right, you're
Speaker 2: so sweet. I won't.
Speaker 3: I don't know your age, but you look so freaking young.
Speaker 3: He's the youngest person. You're not the youngest person. You
Speaker 3: look like the youngest person who's been on this podcast.
Speaker 5: I know, but I'm twenty seven. I think I'm right
Speaker 5: in there with you. I'm right in there. But I
Speaker 5: hope that I look like you were eight. No, no, oh, yeah,
Speaker 5: I'm already going back a year. I'm at my age. Sorry, guys,
Speaker 5: from now on, I'm actually twenty one. So that's what
Speaker 5: I'm going to start saying.
Speaker 2: Lean into that, into that dumb energy.
Speaker 5: But I yeah, I look really young, and I hope
Speaker 5: to look this way when I'm forty. I just I
Speaker 5: want to be playing a teen on the CW, you know,
Speaker 5: at like thirty years old.
Speaker 4: I see there was the black girl on Pretty Little
Speaker 4: Liars or something is like forty two.
Speaker 2: Shut up, and she she's been.
Speaker 4: Playing a high school student in her entire career, and
Speaker 4: I'm look her up. No, I'm looking I'm telling you
Speaker 4: it's a black woman or she's light skinned, so it's
Speaker 4: not even like Seann Melanie is all the way popping.
Speaker 5: I don't know what her name is, sess with that show,
Speaker 5: not the show, but that she's playing someone so young.
Speaker 4: For even Stacy Dash when we liked her on Clue List,
Speaker 4: she was like thirty four yeah, yea yeah, and now
Speaker 4: she's crazy and we hate her, but she was really
Speaker 4: she was a grown ass woman on that show.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, Actually, well that was the thing back in
Speaker 3: the day.
Speaker 1: You can you can look really young but be old
Speaker 1: and play these high schoolers, and then everybody wanted to
Speaker 1: look older because they're like, oh, it's actually thirty four
Speaker 1: year olds fucking playing sixteen sixteen.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I feel like we're not getting like the
Speaker 4: high school comedy dramas anymore, you know what I mean. Like,
Speaker 4: I don't know what movies are now, but I feel
Speaker 4: like we're not getting.
Speaker 2: Can't hardly Wade or.
Speaker 4: Damn right, We're not getting movies like that anymore, don't Jenny, Hello,
Speaker 4: there's a market.
Speaker 5: There's a moment.
Speaker 2: She had Bianca Lawson. She's forty years old. He's a child. Still,
Speaker 2: She's in Queen sugar too.
Speaker 5: See Boom cast a gossip Girl. They're like fifty, they
Speaker 5: were fifty Gossip Girl.
Speaker 4: I've never seen an episode. Ag Really, well, I'm not
Speaker 4: really here for Blake Lively.
Speaker 5: Okay, that's fair. She's never got to be a good actress.
Speaker 5: But but she Blake Lively, she's I'm.
Speaker 1: Sorry, say it space.
Speaker 5: Sorry, I actually I thought she was amazing in a
Speaker 5: simple favor.
Speaker 2: She said that movie was good.
Speaker 5: It's a good movie. It's it's an insane movie.
Speaker 2: And need to come out.
Speaker 5: Last year. Yeah, great movie. Blake Lively is incredible in
Speaker 5: it because she's finally getting to play like the psychopath
Speaker 5: that we want from her, that we know she is,
Speaker 5: that we know she is. But when she's playing Serena Vanderwoodson,
Speaker 5: it's her hair that's doing the acting.
Speaker 1: Did you write did you write this stuff before you
Speaker 1: go out?
Speaker 5: Talk about Blake Lively?
Speaker 2: But the bars right now, I think it's Marie. She
Speaker 2: brings the meat out.
Speaker 5: You said that you think I might be a little mean.
Speaker 5: I have a little bit let it.
Speaker 1: Peek out sometimes.
Speaker 2: Well, where are you from?
Speaker 5: New Jersey?
Speaker 4: I don't know to guess that at all. You're giving
Speaker 4: me like Los Angeles High School.
Speaker 5: Thank you, I know, but Jersey It's just such a
Speaker 5: part of me. And I'm specifically I mean my belly
Speaker 5: button ring that I'm hiding right now. That is one
Speaker 5: of the most Jerseys mount Yeah, girl, Wow, Jersey, you
Speaker 5: can't get rid of it. You can just take it out,
Speaker 5: I know. But the New Jersey in me, I mean,
Speaker 5: let it go.
Speaker 2: Your shirt is checked in, but I do want to
Speaker 2: see it. Wow, it's Cuba Zone.
Speaker 5: You were a real Diamonds went. That's Claire's I'm from
Speaker 5: New Jersey.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I freaking love that you have a
Speaker 2: belly ring.
Speaker 3: You are?
Speaker 2: You are so degrassi. Do you take that? Do you
Speaker 2: take do you have sex with that?
Speaker 6: In?
Speaker 5: Of course course take it out like.
Speaker 2: Shut Kia Shira.
Speaker 5: Honestly, the people who are most surprised by it are
Speaker 5: the t s a that. They're the people who, yeah,
Speaker 5: I get wanded or do you live your shirt up? No? No,
Speaker 5: but they you know, they do the pat down and
Speaker 5: they're like, oh, that's what the metal is.
Speaker 2: They're like, oh wow, like.
Speaker 5: Interesting in twenty nineteen, interesting, Sidney, we should get matching
Speaker 5: BFF belly rings.
Speaker 2: Can we do that? No?
Speaker 5: I was I got really excited.
Speaker 2: Was Andrew, you want to come with us to get
Speaker 2: belly rings? Yeah, well, Marie, we have this tattoo. This
Speaker 2: is my first tattoo, so I might as well do
Speaker 2: another first one. I already have something together. Andrew and
Speaker 2: I will get the belly rings.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, I've never seen one on a man,
Speaker 5: and I don't know how. I don't know.
Speaker 2: It's perfect for the summertime, it is.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's the right moment. Well, actually you should get
Speaker 5: it during the fall or winter because the healing process
Speaker 5: isn't fun and you want to go swimming in the summer.
Speaker 5: If you like to swim, you can't. If you just
Speaker 5: got a piercing, you can't swim. You're not from.
Speaker 3: You're not so astormative and you're so helpful. That doesn't
Speaker 3: sound Jersey at all.
Speaker 2: No, you're not wearing Jersey like South Jersey.
Speaker 5: Central.
Speaker 2: Okay, I don't know Jersey.
Speaker 5: You know it's okay. I mean some people think so
Speaker 5: central and right in between north and South. That's what
Speaker 5: central means, right, But some people say central doesn't exist,
Speaker 5: but it's there. There's a there. Hating.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're hating the people who say it doesn't exist.
Speaker 2: Must live in South Jersey.
Speaker 5: That's the South Jerseyans, and they're more Philly than they
Speaker 5: are in New York.
Speaker 3: Sorry, they say, John, to be honest, Jenny, you were
Speaker 3: giving me Hollister es okay, yeah, or Abercrombie and Fitch
Speaker 3: like you work there?
Speaker 2: Wow?
Speaker 5: I always wanted to in high school. That would have
Speaker 5: been a cool thing to do. I was there for
Speaker 5: a summer, did you you had to I learned.
Speaker 2: Something new about you. You know what happened. I needed
Speaker 2: a summer job, and I got a job there. I
Speaker 2: was a model QUI, yes, you have to be.
Speaker 4: But that's what they call their sales associates. So I
Speaker 4: had to spray the restaurant. I mean the restaurant. You
Speaker 4: say this perfume?
Speaker 2: You did tell me this?
Speaker 1: I do.
Speaker 2: I just buried it and then I bought it back up,
Speaker 2: so buried again. Right? So what is your background? Like,
Speaker 2: what's your what is your mom and dad?
Speaker 5: I'm Jewish and also Italian, so I think what you're
Speaker 5: getting is maybe the Italian. I feel like be the Italian.
Speaker 2: The last name is pretty Jewish.
Speaker 5: It's yeah, a Russian Jewish last name, and it actually
Speaker 5: means bum like um, bum bom bomb.
Speaker 3: Like a bum like a bum, like a bum like.
Speaker 5: I'm begging as a boom. Yeah, Gorlic is a bum.
Speaker 2: Oh you're the you're the Jewish Aladdin.
Speaker 5: I am the Jewish Ala street rat. Yes, yes, that
Speaker 5: is exactly what I am. You know Kenny G. The
Speaker 5: Floutest also Kenny Gorland.
Speaker 2: My man. The G stands for Corlic.
Speaker 5: Yes, you're a man. Kenny G is actually Kenny Gorlic.
Speaker 5: No relation, but he's I'm not.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I love I know.
Speaker 5: I love knowing this too.
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm screaming right now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I want him to perform a memorial.
Speaker 2: I would memorial, Yes.
Speaker 5: Sydney, if I live, if I live longer than you,
Speaker 5: I will make sure that happens.
Speaker 3: I thank you, will, Yeah, I will.
Speaker 2: There's got to be some type of relation. Y'all are
Speaker 2: like distant cousins or something.
Speaker 5: I don't want to do twenty three and me or
Speaker 5: any of those. I'm nervous about shows. I don't want
Speaker 5: to do it. I don't want to do it. But
Speaker 5: the one reason I would be interested is that I
Speaker 5: do want to know if I am in fact related
Speaker 5: to Kenny G. Even a little bit.
Speaker 2: That's crazy. You know what, Kenny Girlic don't sound right
Speaker 2: Kenny G. For a long time, I was like, oh yeah, nigga,
Speaker 2: And then I was like, who is this white man?
Speaker 2: But Maham is very curly.
Speaker 1: It's like Slash. You know, Slash is half half black?
Speaker 2: Yes, he is. Slash the guitarist is half black. You're
Speaker 2: a liar.
Speaker 4: Oh my God, said you're gonna make me look this up.
Speaker 4: I thought I thought maybe Slash and Kenny G were brothers.
Speaker 2: Wow. Also I thought his last name was just G.
Speaker 5: I know, yeah, he was the certificate g g G
Speaker 5: Kenny G.
Speaker 2: The more you fucking know on the unofficial.
Speaker 5: Expert, yeah you learned something.
Speaker 2: But now, how did you know his last name was Gorlic?
Speaker 5: You gotta look the stuff up. When your last name
Speaker 5: is Gorlic, you gotta get into it. You gotta know
Speaker 5: what you're like.
Speaker 2: So you went on Google and you're like famous Grolics.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Kenny Jams and of course Kenny is the main one.
Speaker 5: Also a lawyer who she's in the New York Times
Speaker 5: a lot because she represents a lot of Trump people. Yi,
Speaker 5: I know, so there's a lot of uh, miss grlic. Fuck.
Speaker 5: I know that ruined day. I'm sorry. I know, I know,
Speaker 5: I'm sorry. I'm sorry to bring that up. I'm really
Speaker 5: I I apologize sincerely and deeply from the bottom of
Speaker 5: my heart.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you're Italian Jewish. You obviously still cool with
Speaker 1: your family. Yeah, and your father, Yeah, I feel like
Speaker 1: you call him every other week.
Speaker 5: Well, my dad and I are very close. I know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's his mom, Ola. She's a costume designer. She
Speaker 4: made clothes for Jenet Jackson and a bunch of other people.
Speaker 4: Kenny not Kenny g slash slash slashes Mom.
Speaker 5: I know it looks like dark skin viv. My dad
Speaker 5: actually he asked me for dating advice, which I think
Speaker 5: is very funny because my parents are divorced.
Speaker 2: Okay, so what kind of advice did you give your dad?
Speaker 5: So he he's dating someone new, a younger woman. Uh, yes,
Speaker 5: she is kind of a younger woman. And first, I mean,
Speaker 5: so he tried the apps and he really didn't like
Speaker 5: the apps. He was like, you know, Jenny Tinder when
Speaker 5: you're he's sixty. So Tinder when you're sixty is like
Speaker 5: a lot of young women who seem like they just
Speaker 5: kind of want his money.
Speaker 2: Do we have a lot of money.
Speaker 5: Uh, you know, the divorce hurt urn him a little bit,
Speaker 5: but like, yeah, I mean, see you there's some money.
Speaker 5: There's some money in the grolic pass. We were bums,
Speaker 5: but we've you know, we've come up from there.
Speaker 2: You're thriving.
Speaker 5: You're thriving now, the girlics are thriving. So on. On Tinder,
Speaker 5: he was mostly finding a young woman who want his money,
Speaker 5: much like myself. So he was like, I'm good, I
Speaker 5: don't need that anymore.
Speaker 4: Damn a sixteen year old on Tinder, But you can
Speaker 4: set the agent, you see.
Speaker 5: Yeah. But women who are interested in finding an older
Speaker 5: man for that reason, I think, yeah, they mess with
Speaker 5: the mess with the ages. Yeah, if they want the money.
Speaker 5: If you want to be a sugar baby, you will
Speaker 5: do whatever you need to in order to make.
Speaker 2: That happen, no matter how low the balls are.
Speaker 5: My big account is also low.
Speaker 1: So.
Speaker 5: I hate thinking about that in context of my dad. Sorry,
Speaker 5: mister g Sorry, uh okay. So he was set up
Speaker 5: with a new person her name is Alyssa, by a
Speaker 5: mutual friend.
Speaker 2: Lees sounds like she's too young for him, Like she
Speaker 2: wear crop tops.
Speaker 5: No, no crop tops. I don't want to say to
Speaker 5: my knowledge. So she they've been on like four dates
Speaker 5: and you haven't met her though I have not met her.
Speaker 5: Four days is too is like that's too early? Yeah,
Speaker 5: And she recently planned a date for him where she
Speaker 5: invited him over and they were gonna watch A Star
Speaker 5: Is Born and and she made him dinner and then movies.
Speaker 1: I would never fucking be in a relationship and see
Speaker 1: a start, Where does your dad stand?
Speaker 2: On Netflix and Chill?
Speaker 5: So the thing is like that he's not of a
Speaker 5: generation that they watched the movies if you know, yeah,
Speaker 5: if the movie come on Sleep, Yeah, he's watching the
Speaker 5: movie the original.
Speaker 2: Netflix and Chill was like drive ups driving. Yeah, they
Speaker 2: would be.
Speaker 4: In the car like fondling people while movies were on
Speaker 4: the screen, right, yeah.
Speaker 2: Okay. So she invited him to Stars Born.
Speaker 5: Stars Burn at her house, cook him dinner, and her
Speaker 5: teenage sons at their dad's. Okay, okay, And my dad
Speaker 5: was like, you know, that's that seems like a good
Speaker 5: That's a good sign, right, Like that's a good sign.
Speaker 5: And you know, I didn't say this to him, but
Speaker 5: like for me, it's like, okay, all signs point to
Speaker 5: like Alyssa wants to fuck dad. That's this is gonna
Speaker 5: be the.
Speaker 3: Day you had a conversation.
Speaker 5: Uh No. I was like, that is a great sign,
Speaker 5: and like, you know, don't He asked me like, and
Speaker 5: is it okay to get romantic over text?
Speaker 2: And you're Kenny g come on, I know.
Speaker 5: And I was like, Okay, do you mean like sexting?
Speaker 5: Because absolutely not until like you've actually had sex and
Speaker 5: then like, let's reassess so.
Speaker 1: You're not trying to say some sexy text before He okay, yeah, Well.
Speaker 5: He's like, what is the timeline? Because his name is Greg.
Speaker 2: I love Greg, Greg Jack Greg. Yeah, you like black girls.
Speaker 2: I don't know that means no.
Speaker 5: I don't know that means hell. And I'm really I
Speaker 5: don't know.
Speaker 2: That the devil is not welcome.
Speaker 5: I don't know if he's ever dated a black woman.
Speaker 2: That means no, Jenny, we get it, we get it.
Speaker 1: Your dad hates us, freaking.
Speaker 2: Greg Maria is famous. No, I will ask. I'm not
Speaker 2: commuting to New Jersey.
Speaker 5: I know it's not worth it in a boat this summer.
Speaker 2: So does your dad have a boat.
Speaker 5: He doesn't have a Boat's right, but no swimming. I'm
Speaker 5: worried about them.
Speaker 1: I put a life vest on top of a case.
Speaker 1: I'll put a bubble vest on top of a tuky
Speaker 1: and just like and do pad because that's hot, right,
Speaker 1: Men like girls that doggy paddle.
Speaker 2: I would love to see you in a floating bitch.
Speaker 1: That's I was drowned wearing a floating once at the
Speaker 1: y m C.
Speaker 2: Anyway, let's be the here nor there. Yeah, so I'm
Speaker 2: just what happened with stars born?
Speaker 5: So he told me, Dick, I don't know, he didn't
Speaker 5: tell me that, but I know it's definitely gotten a
Speaker 5: little more serious. But he is worried now that he's
Speaker 5: not sure that he wants to, Like, he doesn't know
Speaker 5: if she's the right person.
Speaker 2: He didn't get hard.
Speaker 5: I didn't know you couldn't get hard.
Speaker 2: That's what that means.
Speaker 1: I mean, you're city, we want You're right.
Speaker 2: Well, let's get into your dating history. Let's talk about it. Now,
Speaker 2: what movie you putting? What's your go to film to
Speaker 2: put on for.
Speaker 5: That's a great question. I feel like, well, it's got
Speaker 5: to be something that we don't actually want to watch.
Speaker 5: The TV show I think like one of the best
Speaker 5: things to watch is like Santa Clarita Diet, Like I
Speaker 5: don't want to watch that?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Is that that Drew Barrymore?
Speaker 2: When Wow, we could get.
Speaker 5: Through maybe two minutes. Then we're like, okay, now it's
Speaker 5: the chill part is over.
Speaker 2: We got a movie. We got a movie for you
Speaker 2: to put in, super Flaw.
Speaker 1: Okay, put it in literally thirty seconds and you're gonna
Speaker 1: be like.
Speaker 2: The fuck.
Speaker 1: Because because she's a boring Andrew, she's a freak.
Speaker 5: Sorry, I seem like a little angel, but I'm a
Speaker 5: little freak.
Speaker 2: I don't know, she's a little tikey tikey book. See
Speaker 2: I told you so. Jenny.
Speaker 1: Wait, how many relationships have you been in, because I
Speaker 1: feel like not that many. I feel like you've had
Speaker 1: like maybe two three top series relationships.
Speaker 5: Yeah, serious relationships really only too. But I've dated a
Speaker 5: lot of people for the like six month mark where
Speaker 5: where it's like we if it's going to end, like
Speaker 5: there's going to be a breakup involved, you know, where
Speaker 5: you're past the point where it can it's not really
Speaker 5: a breakup where it's like we have to like we're
Speaker 5: gonna break up, because it's at the point where it's
Speaker 5: either it's getting serious or it's it's done.
Speaker 3: So you never make it to that I want you
Speaker 3: to be my girl.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that part has not happened for me in a while.
Speaker 2: Fuck Jenny, how long?
Speaker 5: I'd say since college.
Speaker 2: College for at least five years years.
Speaker 5: It's about to be I know. So I've been dumped
Speaker 5: a lot at that Like that.
Speaker 4: Point, Why do you think people are dumping you because
Speaker 4: you like loved too much or you don't care enough
Speaker 4: or like you to cling me?
Speaker 5: I think it might be a little bit like my
Speaker 5: taste and who I want to be dating. That could
Speaker 5: be part of it. I feel like. I mean, also,
Speaker 5: I not just to blame the people I'm dating. Also, definitely,
Speaker 5: you know I'm there must be something on my end,
Speaker 5: but I don't know what it is. You can't.
Speaker 2: We'll tell you what it is. We'll figure it out.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we'll find out, I think by the end of
Speaker 5: the podcast. Definitely what's your type? But I I love
Speaker 5: dating guys who just got out of relationships.
Speaker 3: Like.
Speaker 2: I just got out of prison.
Speaker 5: I was going to say, Wow, No, I did recently
Speaker 5: date a felon. I found out after our first date felon,
Speaker 5: white collar crime, drug dealer when.
Speaker 2: He was So you had a Latin.
Speaker 5: Or a black Sorry, ladies, half Asian anyone can be.
Speaker 5: I'm here for his mugshot was very hot. That's do
Speaker 5: you have one?
Speaker 2: Do you have a screenshot?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 5: I don't have. I find it if you want.
Speaker 2: We want to half Asian felon, that's my type.
Speaker 5: Yeah, he I found out after our first date, so
Speaker 5: I googled him. He didn't tell me his last name
Speaker 5: before I went on the first date. Then I got
Speaker 5: his name, googled him.
Speaker 2: How did you do that? How did you get his
Speaker 2: last name?
Speaker 5: Because I looked in his email. We emailed about it.
Speaker 5: I asked him if I should put my drink on
Speaker 5: his tab, and then I asked him what his taps
Speaker 5: under work.
Speaker 2: That's how you get the last name name. I'm sorry.
Speaker 4: I feel like before we go on dates with these people,
Speaker 4: we should have their first and last name.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, sometimes.
Speaker 5: You don't know not.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you met this guy on Tinder?
Speaker 5: No, actually he asked me out after a show.
Speaker 1: Right, I need the first and last name so I
Speaker 1: could do my research.
Speaker 2: No, you're going to get was the first name?
Speaker 5: It is actually.
Speaker 2: Deep dick in you you don't know the first names?
Speaker 2: Shout out to him.
Speaker 5: In the shower. You have no idea who they are
Speaker 5: and you're just taking a shower.
Speaker 2: And I mean, yeah, I mean I think I'm crying
Speaker 2: my eyes out.
Speaker 3: So you got his last name, you google him, van
Speaker 3: mugshot comes up or not?
Speaker 5: Yes, I find the mugshot and then I go on
Speaker 5: the second day and I'm just like, oh what, you
Speaker 5: know what happened? And the thing is like a lot
Speaker 5: of people did shady stuff when they were you know
Speaker 5: what he was like in his early twenties.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, that's what you do.
Speaker 5: He was selling. He was selling some drugs and got caught.
Speaker 2: That's oh, that doesn't count. How long was he in
Speaker 2: jail for?
Speaker 5: Just for less than a month.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't even mention it. Yeah, girl, you're not really
Speaker 1: a felon? Then no, no, well, petty petty stuff.
Speaker 3: I was in jail for four hours, so that's basically
Speaker 3: the same thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, you didn't know you were sitting with a felon.
Speaker 2: You didn't know that. It's not on my.
Speaker 5: Record, right, If it's not on your record, then it
Speaker 5: doesn't count.
Speaker 2: Because I painted off baby? Yeah, baby, Jesse?
Speaker 1: Is that you?
Speaker 6: Ye?
Speaker 2: Jesse?
Speaker 5: That guilty and that guilty. I mean, if it's not
Speaker 5: on your record, then it doesn't count. It didn't happen.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you went on a second day with him,
Speaker 1: what happened? He was like, even though he a fella,
Speaker 1: he's like, ah, I just don't think you're the type
Speaker 1: of girl I want.
Speaker 5: Actually, in this case, I we. It was like kind
Speaker 5: of a mutual, like we're not going to see each
Speaker 5: other anymore after the second date. I think we did.
Speaker 5: We did, but then but there was no third date.
Speaker 2: It was just kind of like, okay, I think that's
Speaker 2: sex was trash.
Speaker 5: It was fine, but it wasn't like we don't want fine.
Speaker 5: No one wants to legary great, it's just be great.
Speaker 3: We are too old and too young to be having
Speaker 3: fine sex.
Speaker 4: No, we're too old after twenty two twenty after twenty three,
Speaker 4: twenty four, I shouldn't be having sex.
Speaker 2: That's just fine. Yeah, it should be good. If it's trash,
Speaker 2: you can go. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Also, don't call me, don't text me. You can still
Speaker 4: likewise the full on the graund but you might get blocked.
Speaker 2: Oh blocked. Well, that's fine.
Speaker 5: So that happened. That happened. That wasn't necessarily like a
Speaker 5: being dumped. One just came up because it was your
Speaker 5: latest dump my latest, are your or your worst dumped?
Speaker 5: Two separate? Two separate? Okay, latest, We've been dating for
Speaker 5: about five months. I get a text that says, hey,
Speaker 5: do you want to get a coffee?
Speaker 1: So, but that could mean anything absolute. No, I'm never
Speaker 1: asking anybody that I'm intimate with let's go get a coffee,
Speaker 1: unless it's like a business meaning.
Speaker 2: If you're in the neighborhood.
Speaker 5: You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Like if I'm if we're in the neighborhood and I'm like, hey,
Speaker 1: you got out.
Speaker 4: Of work, Oh, do you want to grab a coffee? Like,
Speaker 4: that doesn't necessarily mean I mean, I'm not going to
Speaker 4: ask you to get a cofee with me, but because
Speaker 4: I don't drink it and I'm not paying. But also like,
Speaker 4: it doesn't necessarily mean you're about to get done.
Speaker 5: It don't sound good. No, I think it's only a
Speaker 5: bad sign if you've been dating someone, because like we've
Speaker 5: we've coffee is spontaneous. You don't like plan that we're
Speaker 5: going to just go get a coffee right now. Even lunch,
Speaker 5: maybe you would plan like, hey, do you want to
Speaker 5: get lunch? That might not mean not a to me,
Speaker 5: do you want to get a coffee, says that it's
Speaker 5: gonna be I feel like.
Speaker 4: To be sure, I just I feel like five months
Speaker 4: of dating somebody, I'm not breaking up with it. I'm
Speaker 4: just not gonna hit Does does that make sense? I'm
Speaker 4: a ghost you after five months?
Speaker 5: Are you?
Speaker 2: I'm not one. I'm not gonna get a coffee. You're tacky?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think.
Speaker 4: Andrew, you got to break up with somebody after five months?
Speaker 4: A you're just gonna kind of like if it fizzles out,
Speaker 4: it fizzles out.
Speaker 5: Oh wowny.
Speaker 2: We can't even talk to you.
Speaker 5: You're black, I mean. So he texted me and said,
Speaker 5: do you want to get a coffee? So I texted
Speaker 5: him back. I was like, are you going to break
Speaker 5: up with me? That's what I tell you.
Speaker 2: You're very aggressive. I don't think so that's aggressive.
Speaker 4: No, But then had coffee and you immediately thought that
Speaker 4: WoT something bad.
Speaker 2: But I waste my time over a front.
Speaker 1: Then we'll go get you get your little cappuccino latte.
Speaker 5: I was. I was at work. I was like, I'm
Speaker 5: not going to leave work to then get dumped. Like
Speaker 5: tell let's like, tell me I'm not.
Speaker 2: Clocking out for I'm not. Yeah, I'm not using my
Speaker 2: break lose money is ours.
Speaker 5: No, I wouldn't have lost money, but like.
Speaker 1: I don't I would get dumped while getting paid at
Speaker 1: the same time.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but I don't want to. I don't want to
Speaker 5: come back to the office being sad. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 5: want to, like, you know, tell me what is happening.
Speaker 2: So what happened?
Speaker 5: So he was like, can I call you?
Speaker 1: If I say, are you about to break up with me?
Speaker 1: And you hit me with a cannot call you?
Speaker 2: The answer is no.
Speaker 5: I went. I was like, yeah, let's talk it out
Speaker 5: on the I was like, let's talk it on the phone.
Speaker 1: So you want to get dumped on the phone at work,
Speaker 1: that's what you're saying. So I left my offe on
Speaker 1: land line. I didn't take it on the landline.
Speaker 2: I did.
Speaker 5: I took a quick break out of the office, took
Speaker 5: the call. We talked it out, and he was just
Speaker 5: kind of like, I don't think I'm actually ready to
Speaker 5: be in anything right now, and I've been feeling kind
Speaker 5: of like I've been feeling bad about holding on to this,
Speaker 5: and so I wanted to talk. I felt random that
Speaker 5: he wanted to tell me. Then in the middle of.
Speaker 1: The day on like a Tuesday, after y'all just had
Speaker 1: anal on Sunday, right, yeah, yeah, it's.
Speaker 2: An on Sunday right the end of the.
Speaker 5: Week Thursday, Friday only.
Speaker 1: Because you do not want to break up on a Saturday, right, No,
Speaker 1: no way, no, nobody breaks up on a Saturday.
Speaker 5: But often they break up on a Tuesday.
Speaker 1: That is that you do you break up during the week.
Speaker 1: You got to get it out early so that in
Speaker 1: the rest of your week you could just.
Speaker 5: Do what you're gonna do.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, you gotta keep it.
Speaker 5: So I did take the call. We you know, I
Speaker 5: was upset, like I was bummed out?
Speaker 2: Did you So? Do you think it was a situation
Speaker 2: where you liked him more than he liked you?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 5: I think it definitely was, And I think that happens.
Speaker 5: What did you do? What do you mean?
Speaker 2: It's just like on the phone with him? What did
Speaker 2: you have?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 1: So, no, I'm saying that what do you do to
Speaker 1: make someone know that you like them more than I think?
Speaker 5: I'm just very open and honest about when.
Speaker 2: You start, you gotta start lying.
Speaker 5: Yeah, do you think?
Speaker 2: Yes? Lie, men don't deserve the truth. Lie.
Speaker 3: I think you should be like, yeah, so you know
Speaker 3: some other some other suitors were hitting me.
Speaker 4: Up and right when they when they message you, you
Speaker 4: got to hit them with the day later be like sorry,
Speaker 4: I was at this other dude, Yeah, I don't hear
Speaker 4: my phone, Adam had my I love my phone at
Speaker 4: Adam's house.
Speaker 2: Yeah, who you don't go out all right? Like sorry
Speaker 2: a friend? Yeah?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think I may be too honest about how
Speaker 5: I'm feeling.
Speaker 2: But that's not what's shalt of yours.
Speaker 4: If you're if from the very beginning now, are you
Speaker 4: looking for a boyfriend or you just trying to.
Speaker 5: Date right now? I feel like I'm trying to date,
Speaker 5: but I'm very open to right having you know, I'm
Speaker 5: open to it. I would I would love if it
Speaker 5: felt like this is a good thing, Like I'd love
Speaker 5: to have a boy. Note.
Speaker 1: You got twelve fucking shows that you produce. How do
Speaker 1: you have time to date relationship?
Speaker 2: They be at the shows?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I guess they have to come to all my shows.
Speaker 2: You produce a lot of comedy.
Speaker 1: Friends, you're doing comedy and producing common when do you
Speaker 1: have time?
Speaker 5: You got a day job? Yeah, I think they have
Speaker 5: to just maybe be my biggest fan. Then no, Yeah,
Speaker 5: I don't want to tell them. I don't want you
Speaker 5: to come to any of my shows, not a one.
Speaker 5: No I live.
Speaker 4: If I look and I see you at a show
Speaker 4: and I didn't tell you could come, I'm gonna.
Speaker 2: Be pissed off.
Speaker 5: Oh I hate that.
Speaker 2: I'm just like, we'll be right back after this break.
Speaker 4: We're gonna take a quick intermission, and then I'm coming
Speaker 4: up to you to be like, what happened? You got fired?
Speaker 4: Did you forget that I do things here? You need
Speaker 4: to leave, no security, I'll.
Speaker 2: Have you escorted out. Put it on your job.
Speaker 1: Honestly, that's fine. I feel like it's good to be honest. Again,
Speaker 1: we're too old to be playing those now.
Speaker 4: You should be honest just so like, hey, you know,
Speaker 4: I'm not looking for a boyfriend.
Speaker 2: I'd be open to it.
Speaker 4: If this was, i'd be I'm open to it though,
Speaker 4: but like you know, let's see what's going on here.
Speaker 4: But does that mean when you're dating these people, you're
Speaker 4: dating the exclusively.
Speaker 5: You're not dating I'm dating other people at this time generally.
Speaker 2: But as soon as you're saying that, like yeah.
Speaker 5: And I mean that's and that is clear to them
Speaker 5: but then it just feels like especially because you know,
Speaker 5: if you've been dating for that period of time and
Speaker 5: it's consistent, you know, at a certain point you're like it,
Speaker 5: I I'm not going to ghost someone at that point,
Speaker 5: I feel like I owe it to themat.
Speaker 2: She has no heart that has met.
Speaker 5: I feel like it's at the point where it's like
Speaker 5: we have to talk about if we don't want to
Speaker 5: be seeing each other like this anymore. And like I
Speaker 5: feel like the people I'm dating they at least give
Speaker 5: me the courtesy of that too, Like, but if we're.
Speaker 4: Dating a bunch of different people, both of us, then like,
Speaker 4: why do I gotta tell you that you're not on
Speaker 4: the rosta no more?
Speaker 2: You know That's what I'm thinking.
Speaker 3: Well, because you've got to let go of some people
Speaker 3: that are on the bench, Marie.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can't just be like, have somebody else in
Speaker 1: the spot on that bench that they've been sitting for
Speaker 1: a minute, Right, But.
Speaker 2: If you've been benched, you know that you're ban.
Speaker 4: Yes, if I haven't been hitting you up, well you
Speaker 4: hit me up and I'm saying, oh I can't tonight,
Speaker 4: or I'm like I'm busy this weekend, or I was
Speaker 4: taken me longer to respond you know that I'm not
Speaker 4: feeling you no more.
Speaker 5: Or cut them from the team though, sometimes just cut
Speaker 5: them from the team. Let them know that they're not
Speaker 5: on the team anymore. They can go be on another team. Yes,
Speaker 5: we want to play, We want to play the game.
Speaker 2: We don't even know what sport we're talking about it.
Speaker 2: I have no idea about baseball. Yeah, I was thinking
Speaker 2: of basketball. What sport were you thinking? What you were saying?
Speaker 5: European football?
Speaker 2: Football? Football with a U football. So hold on, what
Speaker 2: was your worst breakup? Because I want to feel like.
Speaker 3: That's not that bad.
Speaker 2: No, I feel like everybody.
Speaker 5: That was my most recent. Yeah, that was my most recent.
Speaker 5: Not so bad.
Speaker 4: You went back to work still, somebody's learned from the
Speaker 4: fridge and you finished your year shift.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and it was you know, and it was totally fine.
Speaker 5: And I just and I didn't have to go sit
Speaker 5: across from him at a coffee shop and be like,
Speaker 5: why are we talking about this? Right yere right, you know,
Speaker 5: because I never want to do that.
Speaker 2: So he wanted to meet you in the middle of
Speaker 2: the day.
Speaker 5: I mean he does, he don't have no job, Yes, Marie,
Speaker 5: that's also a problem.
Speaker 2: So you should have been cutting him loose in the beginning.
Speaker 5: You know you're and I've learned that now, did you?
Speaker 1: Because the way that you're talking, I feel like you
Speaker 1: might still date like a little djism comedian.
Speaker 5: I know I need to stop being interested in comedians.
Speaker 5: Pray for me. I love people who are entertainers.
Speaker 2: Yikes.
Speaker 5: I know, yikes. I went on a date with a
Speaker 5: lawyer and I was so bored.
Speaker 2: They are bored something else.
Speaker 1: They're literally fighting for random causes left and right.
Speaker 2: They get paid a lot, but it's a lot of researching.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of people telling them what the fuck
Speaker 1: to do, and then they got to fight for me.
Speaker 2: It's a lot.
Speaker 4: Jenny, I see you with like a finance dude. Really yeah,
Speaker 4: a young kind.
Speaker 2: Of like Brilly.
Speaker 1: Okay, it doesn't look like she does coke though, so
Speaker 1: I couldn't see.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, Jenny.
Speaker 5: Only on special occasions.
Speaker 2: She has a little alone necklace. She has one of
Speaker 2: those cool whiles of cocaine. I see it.
Speaker 5: I feel that only when you know we're celebrating specially,
Speaker 5: So every your birthday is every month with the show,
Speaker 5: So every month at least.
Speaker 2: You don't get the cocaine energy here.
Speaker 5: Absolutely not.
Speaker 1: Jenny is the type to be chatty just cuz you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, you have high energy up top.
Speaker 5: I know it does nothing for me.
Speaker 1: When I see you, I'm like, I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: hold on one second, I just woke up. Jenny does
Speaker 1: always have on the little crap top moment you do
Speaker 1: you love a little because you got a little body.
Speaker 2: Thank you, so you got body though, you gott b
Speaker 2: a w D y.
Speaker 5: Wow, thank you. I'm exactly the same on cocaine as
Speaker 5: I am not on cocaine. I'm the same right now.
Speaker 5: I might as well be. This is you know, same nge.
Speaker 2: I mean, since you know this is the same space
Speaker 2: if you want to cocoa head. No, I mean Andrew
Speaker 2: might judge you a little bit, but we're not gonna judge.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 5: I think I'm fine.
Speaker 2: Just a little bump afternoon, just a plain spring bump,
Speaker 2: just the.
Speaker 5: I probably not one of my words to break up.
Speaker 2: Let's bring it back.
Speaker 5: Thanks. One of my worst breakups was over email.
Speaker 2: He hit you with a warm regards.
Speaker 5: He didn't even know how to sign off, so he
Speaker 5: didn't need just to dash his initial so I love
Speaker 5: a dashing an initial.
Speaker 1: Though he didn't hit you with a sincerely spelled wrong,
Speaker 1: not a love not yours, truly, those would have been
Speaker 1: weird too.
Speaker 5: What do you.
Speaker 2: Say you hit you with a keep in touch? Do
Speaker 2: you have that email?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 2: Pull it up? Okay, I want to know what's the tea?
Speaker 6: Who?
Speaker 2: Like? Who was he? What job did he have?
Speaker 5: First of all, he is a magician.
Speaker 2: You dated a wizard?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Did Harry Potter broke up with you?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I got annoying.
Speaker 5: I can't dumped by Gandalf. So David Blaine Absolutely not
Speaker 5: David Blaine. I would never Chriss Angel.
Speaker 1: Chris Angels seemed like mom h Christ Angel's kind of
Speaker 1: hot girl.
Speaker 3: But he doesn't wash his hair, so that's true.
Speaker 2: Girls, well that's the match trick. He still gets pussy.
Speaker 5: I honestly, I love magicians though I love being amazed.
Speaker 5: You know, I love being wowed. If we're gonna date, like,
Speaker 5: you're better amazed?
Speaker 1: So you like guys that were capes in the bedroom?
Speaker 1: Just like to make this beer?
Speaker 5: Yeah? Do you a little bit of a burlesque number
Speaker 5: for me?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: No, I'm looking at Chriss Angel right now. He spells
Speaker 1: Chris with two s's. Okay, oh, this is Johnny Capelus
Speaker 1: eight hairstyle he got here is.
Speaker 6: This?
Speaker 2: Cannot please speak to the manager.
Speaker 1: You might date a black man that's a and he
Speaker 1: stay in a Walmart. When we post this, we need
Speaker 1: to put the photo of Chris Angel. Yo, yo, Chris
Speaker 1: Angel looks crazy. Listen if you google Chris Angel right
Speaker 1: now and the first image that is that one of
Speaker 1: the talking about.
Speaker 2: Oh God, speak to a manager. Yeah, he's he said,
Speaker 2: he takes.
Speaker 1: He's got a micro Core's bag, coach boots, he wears
Speaker 1: eggs in the summertime.
Speaker 2: Wait, Jenny, if you can't find the email.
Speaker 5: I just found it. I mean I just found it.
Speaker 5: So it's this length, that's like, no, it's double space.
Speaker 1: Hit us with the first pagraph and the very last yes,
Speaker 1: yes to whom would make concerns.
Speaker 5: Okay, So the subject is high, Jenny. So we from
Speaker 5: the get go, it's like, what is this going to be?
Speaker 5: I hope a link to something funny, you know that's
Speaker 5: what that should be.
Speaker 2: Probably you and you're like, it's not.
Speaker 5: It's not a link, not an article. Okay, Jenny. I
Speaker 5: wanted to write you and say a few things that
Speaker 5: have been on my mind. Sorry for the impersonalness of
Speaker 5: an email. Just thought it would be the right forum
Speaker 5: to make sure my words ended up in the right order.
Speaker 5: So it starts pretty.
Speaker 2: Form what what does this?
Speaker 1: Oh, he's a magician using the word forum form.
Speaker 5: Okay, and then it ends with I like spending time
Speaker 5: with you. This is not there's no chemistry message. I
Speaker 5: enjoy getting to know you and being in your company.
Speaker 5: I think you're super smart and talented.
Speaker 2: Bush right, Yeah, how old is this man?
Speaker 5: He's older.
Speaker 2: He sounds like he's forty two.
Speaker 5: He's not forty two, but he's definitely.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I love to be in you, but I don't want
Speaker 5: to be with you, right, I'm saying the notion of
Speaker 5: things continuing and possibly getting serious and deeper is a
Speaker 5: lot for me right now. So and it kind of
Speaker 5: goes divorce. Yeah, not a divorced man, but just that's
Speaker 5: too much. I know it was just a lot.
Speaker 1: But not how things with this dude before this? Like,
Speaker 1: did to catch you off guard?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 5: I was surprised. Everything was good.
Speaker 3: You was making chicken TetR zini one night.
Speaker 2: It was like we are.
Speaker 5: Going on dates. We're like, yeah, we're going on dates.
Speaker 5: It's really nice, like we're hanging out. I spending a
Speaker 5: lot of time in an apartment. It wasn't It was
Speaker 5: a little shorter than was shorter?
Speaker 2: What are you saying? Short?
Speaker 5: The amount of time we were in the Relation show.
Speaker 2: I was like, are you going dick shame him?
Speaker 5: I'm not going to dick shame him. No, if you're gonna.
Speaker 1: Dig shame somebody, this is the podcast, this is Yeah,
Speaker 1: are open? So you want to call in to dick
Speaker 1: shame somebody?
Speaker 5: That was the time. Oh yeah, I would feel very
Speaker 5: safe to do that with you too.
Speaker 2: But yeah, you know, we're good for it. But no,
Speaker 2: that we haven't.
Speaker 5: We weren't even dating that long.
Speaker 3: This was just like how long?
Speaker 5: This was more like four months?
Speaker 2: It was like not even so, Jinny is something around
Speaker 2: four or five months?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Okay, well let's let's get into it. Typically, how many
Speaker 4: dicks do you go on before you have said?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good.
Speaker 5: Question, right, depends on the person.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say two.
Speaker 5: For you, I would say two or three is probably fair.
Speaker 5: But sometimes you meet someone and you're like, I want
Speaker 5: to have sex with this person immediately.
Speaker 2: You know, now, yes that's true, But do you think
Speaker 2: that that is?
Speaker 1: That's it's okay to do that, because there's this thing like,
Speaker 1: if you really like somebody, you should make them.
Speaker 2: Wait, who is that nineteen eighty five?
Speaker 5: Right?
Speaker 2: Yeah, because it's little house on the prairie.
Speaker 4: Look, that's not necessarily the case here, oh Marie.
Speaker 3: You be giving it up on a first night after.
Speaker 4: A lad since I'm not going on any dates. Honestly,
Speaker 4: I have no one to give it to. It's just
Speaker 4: we can change that. Listeners soon.
Speaker 2: Lines are open. So are my legs? They're closed? Okay?
Speaker 4: So, uh because I because Michelle, because I'm and I
Speaker 4: this is like the second time this week that I
Speaker 4: brought her up. But she met her husband and on
Speaker 4: the first night they had sex, and then she tried
Speaker 4: to ghost him and he just kept getting her up
Speaker 4: and now they're married and they had twins.
Speaker 2: Yeah, imagine this is Michelle Obama. Michelle what's her middle name? Elizabeth? Yeah,
Speaker 2: Elizabeth Laverne Cox Obama.
Speaker 4: You're a mess Obama. Okay, so you meet the person
Speaker 4: you like them.
Speaker 2: But now the first date.
Speaker 4: If you have said to somebody on the first date,
Speaker 4: that just means that you want to have sex with them,
Speaker 4: not that you want to be in relationship with them.
Speaker 5: Generally yes, I would say yes, but I feel.
Speaker 3: Like if you really want to be with some my
Speaker 3: long term, you shouldn't give it up on the first night.
Speaker 4: But but you don't know, I'll be about to spray
Speaker 4: perfume in the studio race sorry the windows clo wow
Speaker 4: wow listeners if you could see the file of perfume
Speaker 4: that she pulled out to spray her whole body down.
Speaker 5: So sorry.
Speaker 4: I'm just glad I caught it in time, because usually
Speaker 4: I don't. Okay, So second or third date, you have
Speaker 4: sex with these person?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Now are you super honest? Are you the person? Are
Speaker 2: you like they wake up and you watching them sleep?
Speaker 1: That's sure?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm like yeah, I'm I'm standing over them just
Speaker 5: being like I've been watching you sleep for hours, that's me.
Speaker 5: No wedding dress, yeah yeah, and I'm wearing my wedding
Speaker 5: dress and like the priest is there No, No, I
Speaker 5: think I just if I like someone, I'm very honest
Speaker 5: about that from the get go, I'd say, just because
Speaker 5: I'm not going to waste my time with someone that
Speaker 5: I don't like too, right, and you should not, Yeah,
Speaker 5: sinny as you mentioned I'm very busy, so I want
Speaker 5: to be with someone. If I want to be with someone,
Speaker 5: I'm going to make the time to be with them.
Speaker 5: And that is actually a big deal because I don't
Speaker 5: have that much time. So you know, I'm very clear
Speaker 5: from the beginning that I want to see the person.
Speaker 5: And also I'm really good at staying on top of things,
Speaker 5: so I will plantates.
Speaker 2: He likes to be on Tap? Do you want to
Speaker 2: be on Tap America's next Time?
Speaker 5: Yeah? Short season changed my life.
Speaker 2: Got it, love it? List it.
Speaker 4: I'm not understanding what's wrong. I feel like you seem fun,
Speaker 4: you seem.
Speaker 2: Like somebody like your energy doesn't feel intense.
Speaker 5: I mean again, I think so this magician also had
Speaker 5: been and this magician had also been in a relationship
Speaker 5: right before we were in one, too, Like I think
Speaker 5: that's a lot of it is that people who are
Speaker 5: just not ready. And I think I'm so consistent and like.
Speaker 1: Following up, following up, just checking in to see what time.
Speaker 1: It's a shitty magician. If he had to write you
Speaker 1: that long ass email, you could have made his whole
Speaker 1: ass disappear.
Speaker 5: Right, magicians can just disappear.
Speaker 2: How did you respond to that email.
Speaker 5: I called him.
Speaker 2: Let me talk to you for a moment. I'm not
Speaker 2: fucking writing you back.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we won't handle this on a fucking phone like
Speaker 1: grown up adults like twenty something?
Speaker 5: Did he did? He?
Speaker 6: Like?
Speaker 2: Break? What's up?
Speaker 1: Because somebody who writes emails just bad at communicating, right.
Speaker 2: They don't want to face the real deal.
Speaker 5: He's scared of conflict. Yeah, clearly that's what it is. Yeah,
Speaker 5: which is also why he plays tricks. Probably plays tricks,
Speaker 5: plays tricks, trick, he plays tricks.
Speaker 1: So why are you looking for anything real with someone
Speaker 1: who's like that's the whole jibt?
Speaker 2: You know, the wizard. You can't marry a wizard.
Speaker 5: You're right? I mean, I just but I, as I mentioned,
Speaker 5: I love to be amazed. I love to be wowed.
Speaker 5: So so he was just pulling cards out, you pussy?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Was this your card?
Speaker 5: Yea queen of hearts? Isn't do you recognize this? I
Speaker 5: think it's a ten diamond? Is that.
Speaker 2: Look a joker? A joker card?
Speaker 5: I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 5: So yeah, I just I who's to say?
Speaker 2: How did you up with people? Yeah, let's get into that.
Speaker 5: Okay, If I'm breaking up with someone. I'm usually pretty
Speaker 5: clear about it. I generally I'm not going to schedule.
Speaker 5: There hasn't been anything serious enough for me to schedule,
Speaker 5: Like we need to see each other in person to
Speaker 5: do this, but definitely a phone call, definitely a I
Speaker 5: just think this isn't the right thing for us. Like
Speaker 5: I don't think it's working out.
Speaker 2: Is that how you say it?
Speaker 4: You gotta be like that, like kind of nice and loose. Hey,
Speaker 4: I don't really think Can you just be like this
Speaker 4: is not working for me?
Speaker 5: Yeah? I mean it's like it's like, yeah, it's not
Speaker 5: really working and you know, like, let's stay friends. If
Speaker 5: I mean that, If I don't mean that, I'm not.
Speaker 2: Going to say that. Would you possibly mean that.
Speaker 5: Sometimes we do stay friends if it hasn't been like,
Speaker 5: if it hasn't been that, okay.
Speaker 2: Mm hm, shouldn't you stay friends with your excess?
Speaker 1: I mean, i'd be following me on my Instagram and shit,
Speaker 1: and uh, you know, I I've recently, I've seen a few.
Speaker 1: I don't I wouldn't say that we're friends, say that
Speaker 1: we're cordial. And because I'm famous, I mean, they can't
Speaker 1: not see me and see what I'm doing and whatnot.
Speaker 3: And then I see them taking the bus, so it's like, oh,
Speaker 3: you know, I run into them.
Speaker 2: Look at the fans, I mean the exes, I mean
Speaker 2: the friends.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I think an adult would say, Hey, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be fine if I see you in person, but
Speaker 1: we're not friends.
Speaker 3: I'm not trying to text you, right. I had an
Speaker 3: ex ask me about working at a job that I
Speaker 3: was working at. You wanted to DJ and I thought
Speaker 3: that was weird.
Speaker 5: Yeah, cause I don't think you should be in You
Speaker 5: shouldn't be purposefully trying to be in the same room.
Speaker 5: But if you are in the same room, I'm hoping
Speaker 5: that it's gonna be fine.
Speaker 2: Like we're all gonna be okay with that. We're never
Speaker 2: okay with it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't want the fund. Yeah. And then side,
Speaker 5: it's like you could just, you know, move across the
Speaker 5: country and I could never think about you ever again,
Speaker 5: and that would be great. Like break up.
Speaker 1: You got to move out of New York, dude, Yeah,
Speaker 1: what the fuck are you still here for?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I was here first.
Speaker 5: It's my city, right, and not even the West coast either,
Speaker 5: because we know that you're thrive on the West.
Speaker 2: It's one of the square dry states.
Speaker 5: Right, Yeah, you can either go like Midwest or you
Speaker 5: have to like go across the ocean, like I want
Speaker 5: an ocean in between us.
Speaker 1: I think you need to live in Alaska if we
Speaker 1: break up, Adrian, if you're listening to this, I know
Speaker 1: you're not. But if we break up, I'm saying, I
Speaker 1: keep the house, even though it's in your name, Adrian,
Speaker 1: you don't have.
Speaker 2: To move this.
Speaker 1: We still need you to DJ and that's more important
Speaker 1: than Sydney's comfort for the shut up the audience, having.
Speaker 5: A Alaska is a nice place to live. They have
Speaker 5: a lot of land.
Speaker 4: They give you a subsidy or a tax break. You
Speaker 4: get five thousand dollars a month if you live in Alaska.
Speaker 2: I heard.
Speaker 5: Yeah, something I learned this week. They need people to
Speaker 5: live there.
Speaker 2: They need people to live there.
Speaker 5: It's beautiful.
Speaker 2: Let's let's do like a summer and when is it
Speaker 2: warm there?
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Let's figure it out and then let's like move to
Speaker 2: Atlanta for a month. M hm, you can make five
Speaker 2: thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: I've had a worse breakup than that. Yeah, I believe
Speaker 1: I've had. My breakup was like I had gotten pregnant
Speaker 1: and the guy broke up with Yeah, he.
Speaker 2: Broke up with me because wasn't his baby.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have the baby, and I want to tie
Speaker 1: the baby and that I don't know who he was.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I told him you didn't know.
Speaker 2: I didn't say that.
Speaker 1: That's why I was terrible as a straight person. That's
Speaker 1: exactly why I was not meant to be with a man.
Speaker 2: Because babies. Yeah, yeah, I couldn't figure it out.
Speaker 5: They're messy babies.
Speaker 1: But he broke up with me, and then he came
Speaker 1: to the clinic and to like, I feel like as
Speaker 1: a as a scare tactic.
Speaker 2: Like to convince you to not to keep having an abortion.
Speaker 5: Yeah, rude. Yeah, it was completely across crossing a line.
Speaker 5: R That's definitely, that's crossing all the lines. Definitely, especially
Speaker 5: because like he broke up with you, he's done right,
Speaker 5: Like my hanceled, he's done by way.
Speaker 2: In my mind, he was poor. He brought me crackers,
Speaker 2: so I was like, you don't have to go just.
Speaker 5: Yet, but yeah, I did need a snack, so thank you.
Speaker 2: It was annoying because they say not to do this
Speaker 2: on an empty stomach.
Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, so I didn't thank you for the snack.
Speaker 2: I almost was like, should I have a kid?
Speaker 1: And then I was like, no, no magics crackers for
Speaker 1: some for some.
Speaker 2: Townhouse crackers, for some saltine crackers.
Speaker 5: They were oh no, you can't have a baby for saltine.
Speaker 1: And they were definitely the the individually wrap ones.
Speaker 5: Okay.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so he was also like the little tiny pack.
Speaker 4: It was a restaurant.
Speaker 3: It was the stuff that you get like soup at
Speaker 3: a restaurant. So it wasn't even like you bought a.
Speaker 2: Boat for me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you just had them at the house without the soup.
Speaker 2: No soup, without the soup, no soup, just just a
Speaker 2: stale pack of crackers.
Speaker 5: Oh my god. Yeah, that's horrible. That is trash.
Speaker 2: You care.
Speaker 5: It's so much better that you're no longer dating.
Speaker 2: I know. I'm out the game and I love it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: Paul love it. I love it. Paul love it?
Speaker 5: Who Paul?
Speaker 2: I don't know who?
Speaker 5: I love it?
Speaker 2: Who?
Speaker 5: We don't know?
Speaker 4: That is, we don't know him, we don't know her.
Speaker 4: So I mean, do you have any tips for people
Speaker 4: who might be dealing with a breakup?
Speaker 2: How do you get over a breakup?
Speaker 5: I think cry as much as you want to. First,
Speaker 5: crying is important.
Speaker 2: To do it.
Speaker 5: Not at work, No, try not to at work. But
Speaker 5: you I mean cry at home, cry with your friends.
Speaker 5: You're allowed to cry at bars sometimes. I think that's fine.
Speaker 1: Are you allowed to I think you're allowed to cry
Speaker 1: the subway sometimes.
Speaker 5: Yeah, subway is a great place to People see you.
Speaker 2: Crying on the train. They will leave you alone.
Speaker 5: Yeah, they're not going to talk to you or bother you.
Speaker 5: You can cry in public parks, that's a nice place
Speaker 5: to cry. Yeah, so yes, definitely cry. Definitely lean on
Speaker 5: your friends, like that's great moment to go. Have fun
Speaker 5: with your friends as much as possible. Definitely do that.
Speaker 5: And then I think probably have sex immediately.
Speaker 2: Okay, with wet or whom some right, with wet.
Speaker 5: Someone hot and fun, someone the hotter and the more fun,
Speaker 5: the better.
Speaker 2: But that's what you that's all you should be banging
Speaker 2: is hot and fun.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's not possible, but that's what you should be
Speaker 1: banging in the first place.
Speaker 2: I know you saying that, but it's not that simple.
Speaker 4: But she said, Okay, she's saying to get over somebody,
Speaker 4: you gotta bang somebody hot and fun. Yeah, but shouldn't
Speaker 4: you have been banging the hot and fun person in
Speaker 4: the first place.
Speaker 2: No, you can't help who you like.
Speaker 1: Yo, Like, I've seen what i want on the vision board,
Speaker 1: and then I've seen what to send in.
Speaker 5: The fucking bed. Is this that's what happens? Man?
Speaker 1: You can't help who who your heart wants. I have
Speaker 1: eyes and then my heart has none.
Speaker 2: Heart is blind. Your heart, heart is blind, heart is blind.
Speaker 5: Your mind.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's what it is. Honestly, I think people
Speaker 2: should fuck more ugly folks.
Speaker 5: Okay, why Yeah?
Speaker 1: The first of all, ugly people know how to smash
Speaker 1: because they know nobody's looking at them.
Speaker 2: So it's all about the actual movement, right.
Speaker 4: Feel like there's there's a hole in that logic though,
Speaker 4: because ugly people are having less sex, and that's what
Speaker 4: you say, their technique is not.
Speaker 2: That's what I.
Speaker 5: Feel like.
Speaker 2: The way that you got to I don't think is right.
Speaker 5: But maybe there's something to prove. I think maybe you
Speaker 5: have something. If you have something to prove, you're gonna
Speaker 5: try harder.
Speaker 4: Yes, you're gonna try harder. But if you're out of
Speaker 4: practice because you ugly, then you're rusty. Your hips need oil,
Speaker 4: you know, what I mean, like, you don't really know
Speaker 4: how to do it.
Speaker 2: You're just like getting more validation from this is true.
Speaker 5: Compliments.
Speaker 2: Ugly people give the best compliments.
Speaker 5: And we need compliments to survive, right.
Speaker 2: If you want me on, I need compliments. Also, I
Speaker 2: need a caterade, I need a juice.
Speaker 1: I need some crackers. They could be the soup crackers.
Speaker 1: They don't even need to be a sleeve.
Speaker 2: I need a sleeve of oreoles.
Speaker 5: You're a mess.
Speaker 4: I can't okay, so you're saying, cry and then sleep
Speaker 4: with somebody as fast as you can.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think sleep with someone sooner rather than later,
Speaker 5: so that you're not like I'm never gonna have great
Speaker 5: sex again, Like, no, go get better sex right away,
Speaker 5: which is the thing that sometimes I feel when I've
Speaker 5: just been dumped. I'm like, oh, but I really liked
Speaker 5: having consistent sex. It's like, no, girl, you can do
Speaker 5: that on your own. You don't need it.
Speaker 2: But I think that's why.
Speaker 4: We stay longer than we should. For the consistency. Yes,
Speaker 4: but it's like, it's not that my bank.
Speaker 2: Account is inconsistent.
Speaker 5: What the fuck?
Speaker 3: It's like, why you want consistency? It doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1: But I think that you should get booked immediately after
Speaker 1: you get a dumb Then the thing that makes a
Speaker 1: breakup better is getting a job, getting a job, being
Speaker 1: successful working, But we don't show that.
Speaker 5: Yeah. The unfortunate thing about getting booked is that, you know,
Speaker 5: if I could, I get booked every single day. If
Speaker 5: I could, I want to get booked right now. If
Speaker 5: I could, I would get booked this minute. But it
Speaker 5: just doesn't. You know, it's no one's calling me. I
Speaker 5: don't know if no one's calling me.
Speaker 2: Right now, I'm like, it's the Wi Fi out way.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Like what's going on? Do I have no service? Like,
Speaker 5: no one's calling me to book me this moment?
Speaker 2: So right, a million and this is true.
Speaker 5: You know, but I agree. I agree. The best thing
Speaker 5: possible to happen right after getting dumped is to like.
Speaker 2: Be on a billboard, yes, to do things.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, to go do things, to be on TV
Speaker 5: that'd be good.
Speaker 1: Or or go to Michael's. Get a poster, like a
Speaker 1: fake poster of you being in a movie. Post it
Speaker 1: near where your ex used to live, and so he
Speaker 1: thinks or she thinks that.
Speaker 5: You you're killing it. Yeah, put it on a bus honestly,
Speaker 5: put it on a bus.
Speaker 2: I think it's brilliant.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that'll be my pilot.
Speaker 5: Put in your pilot. I love it. Put it in
Speaker 5: my pilot.
Speaker 3: I After I get dumped, I do this whole campaign
Speaker 3: that I got in some type of movement movie and
Speaker 3: make like twenty posters in the neighborhood of wherever my
Speaker 3: ex is, and so.
Speaker 2: What She'll walk out and be like.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, I didn't see a commercial for this, But
Speaker 1: you're just gonna run up and like pay stay on
Speaker 1: a bus.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you can have like a fake sex in
Speaker 1: the city.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't. That would win.
Speaker 5: That's winning, right. Will make a website, anyone can make
Speaker 5: a website.
Speaker 2: Personally, it's too heartbroken.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but I mean post. I love to social media
Speaker 5: stock my exes.
Speaker 2: Yes, of course. You got to make sure they're doing
Speaker 2: bad after they leave.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you gotta know.
Speaker 2: Have you seen anybody recently? You're like, fuck man?
Speaker 5: Yeah, Well one of my favorite ex dumpings. Yeah, my
Speaker 5: favorite dumping is good. Dumping was in Bryant Park.
Speaker 2: Okay, it was actually really nice.
Speaker 5: It was like beautiful outside. We were both kind of
Speaker 5: emotional and sad about it. In a way. That was nice.
Speaker 5: Who don't it was his decision.
Speaker 3: Oh Jenny, good god, I know.
Speaker 1: I feel like you're holding back from assist. Are you
Speaker 1: doing You're doing the bedroom? Are you taking pictures?
Speaker 2: Sleep? You a terrible given them diarrhea? What's happening?
Speaker 5: No, he was another person that got out of a
Speaker 5: long term relationship a little bit before we started. He
Speaker 5: wasn't ready. And then the thing is an awful thing
Speaker 5: that I saw on social media recently is that he's
Speaker 5: back with his ex. That's what that is. So that's
Speaker 5: what that is.
Speaker 2: Rebound.
Speaker 5: I was a rebound. I think often probably the problem
Speaker 5: is I am a rebound, but I'm very hopeful, Like
Speaker 5: you're only the rebound if it doesn't work out, you know,
Speaker 5: so look at you.
Speaker 2: Being all positive.
Speaker 4: I'm positive that that is wrong. I'm sure that that
Speaker 4: is wrong.
Speaker 5: Really, yeah, Marie, maybe you were me.
Speaker 4: I mean no, no, I'm definitely for sure me, but
Speaker 4: I am not blind. I feel like, if if this
Speaker 4: keeps happening to you around the same time and you're
Speaker 4: attracted to the same types of people, then you got
Speaker 4: to make a lifestyle change.
Speaker 5: I know, I definitely do. I have to make sure
Speaker 5: life I gotta stop. I gotta go find one of
Speaker 5: those nice finance guys you were describing that I hope.
Speaker 2: Be boring too. But at least they'll cook for you
Speaker 2: and buy.
Speaker 5: This is to the listeners. If you know anyone, send them,
Speaker 5: send them my way. You know that's what I have to.
Speaker 2: Well, we be like, we just listen. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't think I want to. I'm not sure. We
Speaker 2: don't know. We have no idea. I don't know. I mean,
Speaker 2: are you good at giving gifts?
Speaker 5: I'm great at gifts? Yeah, you do.
Speaker 3: You seem very thoughtful. Everything is planned out. I feel
Speaker 3: like you're really good at at making dinners, or at
Speaker 3: least attempting to make a dinner attempt.
Speaker 5: Yes, I am not an incredible cook, but I will definitely.
Speaker 1: Make sure a roast chicken out how it's gonna taste,
Speaker 1: It's gonna be roasted at least.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there was a little, There was effort put in.
Speaker 5: I tried.
Speaker 2: I felt like you put sprinkles on stuff a lot.
Speaker 5: I do love sprinkle I have energy for sure. No,
Speaker 5: I will be like, I'll be so supportive and thoughtful,
Speaker 5: and I can plan a incredible trip. I'm so good
Speaker 5: at that. Hopefully they are.
Speaker 2: Oh, you're like, just give me your card and.
Speaker 1: I'm getting ready to book the tickets and what's your
Speaker 1: what's your card info?
Speaker 2: If you ask it real direct like that, they'll be
Speaker 2: caught off guard and Nilla is give it. You've done that. God,
Speaker 2: ready to book everything? What's your card?
Speaker 1: And po, just send me a picture of your car
Speaker 1: that's a security coat on the back.
Speaker 2: One two recent, this is recent.
Speaker 4: Do you do you get Do you get along with
Speaker 4: people's friends?
Speaker 5: Yes? Yeah, I do.
Speaker 1: Actually, so nobody has fought for you, because that's no way.
Speaker 1: I've definitely broken up with somebody and I know that
Speaker 1: their people are letting it.
Speaker 2: Like what was with Sidney? She was great?
Speaker 5: Well, I've had friends say, you really should have been
Speaker 5: dating our friend, like he's not great, Like I had
Speaker 5: friends friend before, but.
Speaker 2: We've already decided you like bums. What is your type?
Speaker 5: What did you say was your type? Well?
Speaker 2: I definitely like I think physically, what are you attracted to?
Speaker 5: Physically? What am I attracted to?
Speaker 2: Tall?
Speaker 5: Sure, definitely tall. I I like a conventionally handsome man.
Speaker 5: I don't know what that means, you know, like like tall,
Speaker 5: dark and handsome.
Speaker 2: You know who's your celebrity crush?
Speaker 5: Uh? Right now? I I'm trying to think if there's
Speaker 5: anyone that I'm super like, he's the guy for me.
Speaker 5: Right now?
Speaker 1: You seem like a like a Timothy Shallow char Ma's
Speaker 1: He's so.
Speaker 5: Cute, but he's a little too cute, you know, he's
Speaker 5: a little So.
Speaker 2: You want somebody with like a lazy eye. Now she
Speaker 2: wants somebody with like a hoop nose.
Speaker 5: Yeah, like a like a little ugly No, like a
Speaker 5: more like a Chris Hemsworth, like more like a like masculine, Yeah.
Speaker 2: Like a thor girl. That magician that he was dating
Speaker 2: did not look like.
Speaker 5: No, he absolutely did not. Okay, he absolutely did not,
Speaker 5: but he did. I I also like, I love a
Speaker 5: beard on a man too. He had a really nice beard, Andrew.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 2: I was like, do you to see if he had
Speaker 2: a beard? Yeah? Yeah, no, you probably can. Yes, Well,
Speaker 2: you know some of us are maybe when he hits puberty.
Speaker 5: I don't know any day now, it could be any day, Andrew,
Speaker 5: it's coming.
Speaker 2: It's coming. Just give it time. A I don't know
Speaker 2: if I can help you, Jenny. Yeah, but after this episode.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna keep her eye out.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna take you under my wing.
Speaker 1: Thank yoush as mean ass, heavy ass wing, thick with
Speaker 1: two c's wing.
Speaker 5: I need some of that though. I definitely need that help.
Speaker 5: I feel I do.
Speaker 2: I feel like it's you, you do. It's you, Jenny,
Speaker 2: It's and Jenny.
Speaker 3: If you ever want women, I can't help you other.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you so, Okay, Jenny, let everybody know where
Speaker 1: they could catch you on the grams, on the twitters
Speaker 1: all this.
Speaker 5: Please follow me on Instagram. That's the best way to
Speaker 5: know what I'm doing. Yeah, it's a pun. It's at
Speaker 5: Jenna Saqua, Jenny Saqua, so j E n N y
Speaker 5: c E s t q u o I Jena Siqua.
Speaker 5: That's special something.
Speaker 2: Okay, I don't know what it is, but dumped.
Speaker 5: Yeah, she just got that something. She's got that something
Speaker 5: that gets her dumped. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And then on Twitter as well.
Speaker 5: On Twitter, it's just my last name, so at Jenny
Speaker 5: Gorlic like Kenny g at Jenny Gorlic.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, and then you gots a show, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've got a couple of.
Speaker 5: Shows coming up. I'm about to be weekly at Baby
Speaker 5: Grand green Point with a new show with Zach t
Speaker 5: o c you Zach divorce Expert. We love Zach A tall,
Speaker 5: handsome man. Definitely my type. Definitely type Yeah, definitely not
Speaker 5: his type. It's called hot and Fun and that's every
Speaker 5: Thursday at eight at Baby Grand Green Point. And then
Speaker 5: I also have my birthday show a month at Union Hall.
Speaker 2: Yep, as the show. I love it. When is your
Speaker 2: actual birthday?
Speaker 5: December? I'm a sagittarius.
Speaker 2: I don't even when youthday come.
Speaker 3: I don't even celebrate it because I'm like, which were
Speaker 3: doing it every month?
Speaker 5: I know, and you know what, I deserve that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yep, it's fine.
Speaker 5: That's fine, that's fair. I I agree, But we are you?
Speaker 2: Are you down before we go?
Speaker 4: Is there any a final parting word you want to
Speaker 4: say to somebody who dumped you, maybe like you walked
Speaker 4: away and you were like, oh, I should have said
Speaker 4: all of this stuff, son of a beach, anything you
Speaker 4: want to get off your chest.
Speaker 2: And it could be you don't have to name names.
Speaker 2: It could be as vague as you want it to be.
Speaker 5: I think just I can't wait until you guys see
Speaker 5: me on a billboard and you feel really good. Yeah,
Speaker 5: that's all. That's to all of them. Blanket statement for all.
Speaker 4: Blanket statement, wait till you see me want to get
Speaker 4: damn billboard or the side of a bus or a
Speaker 4: bus because I didn't get on so I'm holding on
Speaker 4: to the side of it.
Speaker 1: Just try.
Speaker 2: Bye, guys, rate, come and subscribe. See you on the Patreon.
Speaker 6: For This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced
Speaker 6: by Brett Bauham, Joe Scilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more
Speaker 6: original podcasts, please visit Foreverdog Podcasts dot com and subscribe
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