WEBVTT - Clayton’s Reality — Part 2 0:00:02.000 --> 0:00:04.040 Hey, everyone, welcome back to Batch A Happy Hour. I'm 0:00:04.120 --> 0:00:07.640 Joe and we are back for part two with Clayton. 0:00:07.800 --> 0:00:09.760 Clayton, welcome back. Let's get into it. 0:00:10.119 --> 0:00:15.320 What what what is your opinion? Did you watch Grant's finale? Uh? 0:00:15.400 --> 0:00:16.680 Yeah, well yeah, I was there. 0:00:16.520 --> 0:00:21.640 So well, I didn't know if they was. What's your 0:00:21.640 --> 0:00:23.799 what was your opinion on how he handled it? 0:00:25.360 --> 0:00:26.400 I thought he handled it well. 0:00:26.600 --> 0:00:26.800 Uh. 0:00:27.160 --> 0:00:28.720 To be honest with you, I got at one point 0:00:28.880 --> 0:00:34.200 a bit triggered during the finale because listen, I saw 0:00:34.240 --> 0:00:37.560 both sides. I could understand where Letia was coming from, 0:00:37.600 --> 0:00:40.919 but I also, you know, thought she could have went 0:00:40.960 --> 0:00:44.720 about it a bit differently. I think that she just 0:00:44.760 --> 0:00:48.600 really dug into him deeper than she needed to. And 0:00:48.600 --> 0:00:50.239 and to me, I said, I was you know, he 0:00:50.280 --> 0:00:52.640 was apologizing, and I'm like, yeah, he made mistakes, but 0:00:52.720 --> 0:00:55.760 like I think you're just kicking someone when they're down 0:00:57.080 --> 0:00:59.840 again my perspective, because I had felt that, you know, 0:01:00.040 --> 0:01:02.160 somebody did that to me, you know, on my IFR 0:01:02.200 --> 0:01:03.880 and I wasn't you know, a fan of that. I'm like, listen, 0:01:03.920 --> 0:01:07.360 I'm wrong, and I'm sorry or you know, I upset you, 0:01:07.400 --> 0:01:09.360 but I I just felt like she took it a 0:01:09.440 --> 0:01:11.039 bit too far, but then again, like she did what 0:01:11.080 --> 0:01:13.319 she thought was best, and I don't like hold I'm 0:01:13.319 --> 0:01:15.760 not holding it against her. I just I of course 0:01:15.840 --> 0:01:19.360 I related to him because like I sat there and 0:01:19.560 --> 0:01:22.480 was like they brought me here because he did something 0:01:22.560 --> 0:01:25.000 similar to me, so naturally, Like I was like, I 0:01:25.080 --> 0:01:27.440 get where he's at. And I think he you know, 0:01:27.680 --> 0:01:29.759 said like hey, I'm sorry and handled it and didn't 0:01:29.800 --> 0:01:32.120 try to, like, you know, over explain himself. And I'm like, 0:01:32.200 --> 0:01:34.600 you know, that's the best you can do. But I 0:01:34.680 --> 0:01:36.560 understand where she's coming from too, you know. It's just 0:01:36.640 --> 0:01:38.880 it's like, I don't nothing she did was wrong. I 0:01:38.959 --> 0:01:42.840 just I kind of felt similar to him, Like I 0:01:43.080 --> 0:01:44.520 was like, wow, I'm sitting in their audience, but I 0:01:44.520 --> 0:01:46.400 was like I almost feel like I'm in like back 0:01:46.440 --> 0:01:49.920 on the hot seat, watching like me from three years ago, 0:01:50.160 --> 0:01:52.480 you know. And so it's just a weird moment. 0:01:52.560 --> 0:01:55.400 But you know, I think in that situation, what we 0:01:55.440 --> 0:01:57.240 got to see with you a little bit more that 0:01:57.800 --> 0:02:00.920 we didn't get the chance to see in Grant Latia's conversation. 0:02:01.000 --> 0:02:03.000 This could have just been due to timing. I mean, 0:02:03.000 --> 0:02:08.000 it's so short, is I was waiting for them to 0:02:08.080 --> 0:02:12.240 address the why with Grant and Letia, like why did 0:02:12.280 --> 0:02:14.720 you do this? Why did you say this? And I 0:02:14.760 --> 0:02:17.560 feel like, again, it very well could have just been 0:02:17.560 --> 0:02:19.680 like it's a short conversation and you don't get there 0:02:19.720 --> 0:02:22.560 and that's a bigger, deeper conversation. But I do feel 0:02:22.600 --> 0:02:25.480 like we got more of that with you, like you 0:02:25.560 --> 0:02:29.320 were always keen to say like I did this and 0:02:29.400 --> 0:02:32.320 like expand on like this is why I thought that 0:02:32.360 --> 0:02:33.400 was a good idea at the time. 0:02:34.480 --> 0:02:37.240 Yeah, I mean again, like it's that's why unless you're 0:02:37.400 --> 0:02:39.480 Grant or Latia, like you don't really know what was 0:02:39.520 --> 0:02:42.160 all said. So it's like this he says this, she 0:02:42.280 --> 0:02:45.160 says this in the middle is the reality and the truth. 0:02:46.000 --> 0:02:48.600 But again, like the truth is also dependent upon like 0:02:48.639 --> 0:02:51.560 it's skewed by perspective, and so you know, we can 0:02:51.600 --> 0:02:53.560 only judge based off what, you know, what we hear 0:02:54.120 --> 0:02:56.280 in seeing that moment. So ultimately, I'm like, you know, 0:02:56.320 --> 0:02:57.799 I don't I don't see one of them as right 0:02:57.880 --> 0:03:01.240 or one of them as wrong. It just yeah, it's 0:03:01.280 --> 0:03:03.560 like we don't know, like there could be one bit 0:03:03.600 --> 0:03:06.680 of context that if added would completely sway my opinion. 0:03:06.720 --> 0:03:09.160 You know, like I say that I associated or you know, 0:03:09.480 --> 0:03:11.920 you know, associated more with Grant, but like had an 0:03:11.960 --> 0:03:14.519 additional piece of information but put out there where it's 0:03:14.520 --> 0:03:17.280 like here's he is on camera saying this exact thing 0:03:17.840 --> 0:03:19.760 that you know. It's like, oh, okay, well now I'm 0:03:19.840 --> 0:03:22.920 over on Team Latia right, Like I don't it could 0:03:22.960 --> 0:03:23.880 switch that quickly. 0:03:25.240 --> 0:03:27.680 Yeah, you get anxiety going to the finales. You have 0:03:27.760 --> 0:03:31.440 to have a little bit just like a bodily response 0:03:31.560 --> 0:03:34.639 being back in that room at that time with a finale. 0:03:34.639 --> 0:03:36.280 I don't know, I feel like whenever I watch like 0:03:36.560 --> 0:03:38.960 certain episodes of the show, I feel a type of way, 0:03:39.040 --> 0:03:42.040 like whenever I watch Hometowns every season, I feel like 0:03:42.160 --> 0:03:43.000 a little type of way. 0:03:43.720 --> 0:03:47.280 Yeah. I actually, Susie was at the finale, sitting right 0:03:47.320 --> 0:03:50.760 in front of me, and I like between the breaks, 0:03:50.760 --> 0:03:53.040 I leaned forward and I was like, yeah, this is 0:03:53.040 --> 0:03:54.880 bringing up some old feelings. I was like, this isn't 0:03:54.920 --> 0:03:57.000 really fun anymore. You know, Like it got to a 0:03:57.120 --> 0:03:59.600 point where it was so tense at the finale that 0:03:59.640 --> 0:04:02.680 I was just like, yeah, I'm starting to feel triggered 0:04:02.680 --> 0:04:04.920 a bit and like not enough where I was like 0:04:04.920 --> 0:04:06.200 I need to walk out of here. But I was 0:04:06.240 --> 0:04:08.080 just like, ugh, like I got this pit in my 0:04:08.160 --> 0:04:11.240 stomach where I'm like I don't like seeing you know, 0:04:11.480 --> 0:04:13.600 basically it's like pick a side, and I'm like, no, 0:04:14.160 --> 0:04:16.920 you know, both people did some things right and did 0:04:16.960 --> 0:04:19.000 some things wrong, and probably you know, they could share 0:04:19.040 --> 0:04:22.640 the blame, but unfortunately, you know, it's it makes sense 0:04:22.640 --> 0:04:25.280 from a show perspective to like how people choose sides 0:04:25.320 --> 0:04:28.440 because that fosters conversation. It's like we don't want it 0:04:28.480 --> 0:04:30.560 to be like, oh, everyone's you know, equally at blame 0:04:30.600 --> 0:04:32.640 and that's it. No, like they want you know, people 0:04:32.640 --> 0:04:35.440 to be you know, things to be sparked, and so 0:04:35.680 --> 0:04:37.440 like that's what's happening right now. I mean we're looking 0:04:37.480 --> 0:04:40.200 at the post show. You know, I've seen like clips 0:04:40.240 --> 0:04:43.040 and stuff off they're asking now what Grant thinks about 0:04:43.080 --> 0:04:45.600 Latia's response and vice versa, and it's like here comes 0:04:45.680 --> 0:04:49.200 like the you know, really them hammering down and I'm like, okay, 0:04:49.320 --> 0:04:51.599 you can choose to like stand firm on your side. 0:04:52.360 --> 0:04:54.880 This is what keeps people talking and that's ultimately what 0:04:55.120 --> 0:04:57.520 you know, the show wants, and I get it. So 0:04:57.560 --> 0:04:59.400 it's like hard because you're just like I want us 0:04:59.400 --> 0:05:01.599 all to be friends, but I don't think that can happen. 0:05:02.240 --> 0:05:03.800 What was it like seeing Susie? 0:05:05.160 --> 0:05:06.840 Her and I have like seen each other so many 0:05:06.880 --> 0:05:10.719 times since the show and have had conversations on the phone, 0:05:10.920 --> 0:05:13.159 Like that wasn't like I hadn't seen her in three years. 0:05:13.200 --> 0:05:14.720 I think I saw her, I think six months prior 0:05:14.800 --> 0:05:18.359 to that point, we did a podcast together, you know, 0:05:18.560 --> 0:05:20.680 to me like she's an old friend, you know, or 0:05:21.080 --> 0:05:23.080 she's still a friend. But I ultimately know that, like, 0:05:23.160 --> 0:05:25.599 you know, we we tried to make it work and 0:05:25.600 --> 0:05:28.280 then ultimately it's just like, hey this we're not compatible. 0:05:28.400 --> 0:05:30.440 So now, I mean, she's one of the few people 0:05:30.480 --> 0:05:32.719 that knows more than most people know because I told 0:05:32.720 --> 0:05:36.000 her everything. She lived it with me, So there's a 0:05:36.000 --> 0:05:37.440 lot of things that are unsaid where I can just 0:05:37.480 --> 0:05:39.280 spark up a conversation with her and she gets it, 0:05:39.360 --> 0:05:43.279 you know. So it's always great to see her, you know, 0:05:43.360 --> 0:05:45.320 and it's it's like a friend they're like, oh, hey, 0:05:45.320 --> 0:05:47.400 like you get it. So I'm always happy to see her. 0:05:48.120 --> 0:05:51.560 But there's you know, there's no chance of that ever rekindling, 0:05:51.560 --> 0:05:53.520 at least I don't think so. It would. It would 0:05:53.560 --> 0:05:54.120 be a surprise. 0:05:54.839 --> 0:05:58.560 I will say though in in he said, like they 0:05:58.600 --> 0:06:01.719 were reminded you of like your situation of kind of 0:06:01.720 --> 0:06:05.040 being like kicked when you're down. But I think from 0:06:05.040 --> 0:06:08.159 like Latilla's point of view, she's probably looking at Grant 0:06:08.279 --> 0:06:10.440 like you kind of have everything right now, like you're 0:06:10.839 --> 0:06:15.000 in a happy relationship, you're engaged. You might yeah, you 0:06:15.040 --> 0:06:17.120 might be getting a little bit of backlash, but like 0:06:18.120 --> 0:06:20.760 I I was planning on, like I wanted to marry 0:06:20.800 --> 0:06:23.240 you and potentially have kids with you, and you led 0:06:23.360 --> 0:06:26.520 me on this whole way. So yeah, I'm gonna kick 0:06:26.560 --> 0:06:29.440 you even if you are down. And I think your 0:06:29.720 --> 0:06:34.760 situation is a little different because like you you got 0:06:34.760 --> 0:06:37.320 a lot of hate, Like you got like way too 0:06:37.400 --> 0:06:39.680 much hate. Yeah, and you got a lot of it 0:06:39.720 --> 0:06:43.039 where I don't really I don't think Grant really did. 0:06:43.080 --> 0:06:45.719 Like there's definitely some people that are like pro Latilla, 0:06:46.640 --> 0:06:50.359 but I just don't think the it's it's the same 0:06:50.440 --> 0:06:52.760 as in your case. Like you you like the Internet, 0:06:53.240 --> 0:06:55.680 I you know, and I don't want to like bring 0:06:55.760 --> 0:06:57.359 up old feelings or anything, but I feel like the 0:06:57.400 --> 0:06:59.640 Internet like they kind of like went after you, like 0:06:59.680 --> 0:07:01.080 from the fucking jump. 0:07:01.920 --> 0:07:05.240 Yeah, yeah, I mean they did. They and unfortunately, you know, 0:07:05.320 --> 0:07:07.320 it was like, get we're looking for a reason to 0:07:07.360 --> 0:07:10.040 hate this guy, you know, and it went all the 0:07:10.080 --> 0:07:12.120 way back to you know, I was chosen over six 0:07:12.160 --> 0:07:14.520 minut of color, and that was already tense. You know. 0:07:14.560 --> 0:07:16.520 People were already like why did you choose this guy 0:07:16.560 --> 0:07:18.280 over the over them? And I thought the same thing. 0:07:18.280 --> 0:07:21.560 I'm like, they're all deserving. I ultimately I accepted the role, though, 0:07:21.600 --> 0:07:23.560 but it was I was already at a deficit, you know, 0:07:23.600 --> 0:07:25.120 at that point. That was a you know thing that 0:07:25.160 --> 0:07:27.400 I saw online quite a bit. And then once I 0:07:27.600 --> 0:07:30.120 actually you know, gave them something to dislike, it was 0:07:30.160 --> 0:07:31.720 like there it is. We knew this guy was a 0:07:31.720 --> 0:07:34.680 piece of shit, and so they basically just leveled into 0:07:34.680 --> 0:07:36.120 me and it was like, let's cancel this guy. I 0:07:36.160 --> 0:07:37.840 mean that's seriously like it was just like at any 0:07:38.040 --> 0:07:40.640 people were just looking to have an excuse. And I 0:07:40.680 --> 0:07:42.560 mean the messages that I got, the hate messages to 0:07:42.640 --> 0:07:44.920 kill yourself comments, I mean I got them by the thousands, 0:07:44.920 --> 0:07:47.400 and it was, you know, just a lot. But you know, 0:07:47.680 --> 0:07:49.640 to go back to yeah, I mean again, you have 0:07:49.680 --> 0:07:51.880 to understand I didn't watch the season, so like I 0:07:51.920 --> 0:07:55.760 didn't see the context, So like Letia, I'm not saying she, 0:07:56.040 --> 0:07:58.720 I just I think going off of one episode live, 0:07:58.840 --> 0:08:01.160 I felt the feeling of being in the hot seat 0:08:01.280 --> 0:08:04.640 like Grant was, and really related to that and was like, Okay, 0:08:04.680 --> 0:08:06.880 I get it, like he said some stuff and he 0:08:06.920 --> 0:08:09.760 apparently said these things that are off camera that weren't shared, 0:08:10.680 --> 0:08:13.280 you know, and like he's happy with somebody right now, 0:08:13.320 --> 0:08:16.080 but like instead, it's like you're almost sowing seeds of 0:08:16.160 --> 0:08:19.000 doubt into the mind of the person that he's with, 0:08:19.480 --> 0:08:22.600 which like I don't like that. It's like he's found somebody. 0:08:22.800 --> 0:08:24.960 But to your point, it's like, you know, he's basically 0:08:25.000 --> 0:08:27.040 on top of the world and has his person and 0:08:27.120 --> 0:08:30.360 she's left in second place with nothing right like, and 0:08:30.400 --> 0:08:32.360 so it's like could she you know, She's like, hey, 0:08:32.360 --> 0:08:35.040 you got everything and ultimately got to do what you 0:08:35.040 --> 0:08:37.280 did and still come out victorious and I basically get 0:08:37.360 --> 0:08:39.120 kicked to the curb. I'm sure. I mean again, that's 0:08:39.120 --> 0:08:42.080 probably what it feels like. So you know, is it justified? 0:08:42.080 --> 0:08:43.599 I mean could be. Yeah. Again, I don't like, I 0:08:44.280 --> 0:08:46.280 just can only go off of like that one, you 0:08:46.320 --> 0:08:50.040 know episode, So I certainly don't like I don't want 0:08:50.040 --> 0:08:51.560 people to think that. I'm like, oh, it was wrong. 0:08:51.600 --> 0:08:53.560 I just am saying I related to like how he 0:08:53.640 --> 0:08:55.640 felt in that moment, and I was like, okay, like 0:08:55.840 --> 0:08:57.360 I get it, but like he's happy now, Like I 0:08:57.360 --> 0:08:59.080 don't think you need to keep sowing these seeds of 0:08:59.120 --> 0:09:02.680 doubt and Juliana's mind because now what happens when she's like, wait, 0:09:02.880 --> 0:09:04.480 she wasn't aware of this. Now she might end up 0:09:04.480 --> 0:09:06.400 breaking up with the guy. And he's already struggling. I knew. 0:09:06.440 --> 0:09:08.000 I mean, he was struggling with a lot of the 0:09:08.480 --> 0:09:10.960 criticism online. So I was like this guy, like don't 0:09:10.960 --> 0:09:12.480 I don't want to see him go to a place 0:09:12.800 --> 0:09:15.000 that I like that I went to, you know. So 0:09:15.040 --> 0:09:17.120 it was more out of like me. I was more 0:09:17.200 --> 0:09:20.319 like in a protective statement, like I get like, don't 0:09:20.400 --> 0:09:24.400 keep trying to bury him. This guy's clearly struggling. I mean, 0:09:24.440 --> 0:09:26.599 I can see his post online. He struggles with the 0:09:26.640 --> 0:09:29.080 criticism and rightfully, so I mean, like I get it 0:09:29.200 --> 0:09:30.920 just the same way I did. But I'm like, I 0:09:30.920 --> 0:09:33.360 can tell he's really hurting. I'm like, just like, don't 0:09:33.360 --> 0:09:35.120 do this to him, because if you tear him down 0:09:35.480 --> 0:09:37.800 and then like God forbid, you get you know, Juliana 0:09:37.920 --> 0:09:40.240 to like leave him. He's going to be in a 0:09:40.400 --> 0:09:42.160 really bad place, and I'm like I don't want to 0:09:42.160 --> 0:09:44.560 see that. So like just he's learned, Like can we 0:09:44.640 --> 0:09:46.240 just move on? Like that's kind of where it was at. 0:09:46.280 --> 0:09:48.000 I was like, I didn't like that. I felt like 0:09:48.040 --> 0:09:50.120 she was shoving him down deeper into a place where 0:09:50.160 --> 0:09:51.880 it's like you're gonna put him into a bad valley. 0:09:52.120 --> 0:09:54.959 But again, like nobody really knows like how badly someone's 0:09:55.000 --> 0:09:56.760 hurting until they're in their own mind. I just felt 0:09:56.760 --> 0:09:58.240 like I was like, oh, I can see Grants already hurting. 0:09:58.240 --> 0:09:59.199 I don't want this to get worse. 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:08.600 Yeah, it makes sense, and I think you could sympathize 0:10:08.640 --> 0:10:11.960 with both both people and especially you because you were 0:10:12.000 --> 0:10:12.720 in that situation. 0:10:12.840 --> 0:10:13.920 So yeah, I get that. 0:10:14.240 --> 0:10:19.800 You obviously have you know, had to change mindset about 0:10:19.840 --> 0:10:23.560 your time on the show. But naturally there's still going 0:10:23.600 --> 0:10:26.000 to be elements that are and maybe always will be 0:10:26.840 --> 0:10:29.600 hard to look back on or still triggering. At this time, 0:10:29.720 --> 0:10:30.240 people are. 0:10:30.120 --> 0:10:32.400 Gonna listen to this podcast and be like they're gonna 0:10:32.400 --> 0:10:33.240 pull one thing you said. 0:10:33.280 --> 0:10:34.520 It'd be like we still hate. 0:10:37.280 --> 0:10:39.600 They're gonna they're gonna pull that first section of me 0:10:39.640 --> 0:10:43.120 saying I didn't agree with it, was like, how dare 0:10:43.160 --> 0:10:43.720 he already know. 0:10:43.720 --> 0:10:46.360 What typical typical Clayton's. 0:10:46.000 --> 0:10:47.679 They're not gonna They're not going to listen to the 0:10:47.720 --> 0:10:50.160 back half of this conversation. I guarantee you They'll take 0:10:50.200 --> 0:10:52.080 that clip and it'll find its way on Reddit because 0:10:52.120 --> 0:10:54.440 that's the place where like I'm like, that's where they'll go, 0:10:54.600 --> 0:10:56.480 and so I'm like, go go for it. They will 0:10:56.520 --> 0:10:58.680 clip that one part and be like, see he hasn't learned. 0:10:58.679 --> 0:11:00.400 I don't give a ship, but like they will a 0:11:00.400 --> 0:11:02.120 thousand percent. I mean again, every time I have one 0:11:02.200 --> 0:11:03.920 a camera, it's like they're just going to clip whatever 0:11:03.960 --> 0:11:06.520 they want to, you know, get get someone riled up. 0:11:07.000 --> 0:11:10.520 I hate that. But with that being said, would you 0:11:10.600 --> 0:11:16.800 ever consider going on Paradise within like something again within 0:11:16.840 --> 0:11:20.480 the franchise or any other dating shows? 0:11:21.280 --> 0:11:25.720 Yeah? Yeah, I mean absolutely. You know, I've got to 0:11:25.800 --> 0:11:28.520 a place where I'm just like, hey, I don't want 0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:31.640 to live a normal life, and I haven't really at 0:11:31.640 --> 0:11:33.200 this point so far. So I was like, I want 0:11:33.200 --> 0:11:35.199 to just look back at the end of it all. 0:11:35.320 --> 0:11:37.360 You know. It's like when people lay on their deathbeds 0:11:37.360 --> 0:11:38.880 it's like, what are their biggest regrets. They're like, I 0:11:38.880 --> 0:11:40.520 wish I'd taken more risks, and I wish I would 0:11:40.559 --> 0:11:43.080 care less what people thought. So I'm like, okay, Like 0:11:43.120 --> 0:11:45.280 that's a great life lesson if that's what's being said 0:11:45.360 --> 0:11:47.520 by the majority of people. I never want to get 0:11:47.559 --> 0:11:49.679 to that place and be one of them. So I'm 0:11:49.720 --> 0:11:51.880 going to do everything I can so that when I 0:11:52.000 --> 0:11:54.000 lay on my deathbed, neither of those things come out 0:11:54.000 --> 0:11:55.880 of my mouth. And I feel like I've gotten to 0:11:55.920 --> 0:11:58.240 a place where I don't care about stranger's criticism anymore. 0:11:58.240 --> 0:12:01.120 So I'm like, okay, cool, you have that and now 0:12:01.200 --> 0:12:03.280 live a life with no regrets, you know I I 0:12:03.320 --> 0:12:05.160 and so that way, you're not going to be like 0:12:05.160 --> 0:12:06.600 I wish i'd did more. I'm like, no, I'm gonna 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:09.840 do more, so I don't have to, you know, look 0:12:09.920 --> 0:12:12.040 back and be one of those people. So, yeah, I 0:12:12.040 --> 0:12:12.520 would do it. 0:12:12.559 --> 0:12:16.240 I mean, yeah, well, so we might see you on 0:12:16.280 --> 0:12:18.319 another dating show in the future, maybe Paradise. 0:12:19.120 --> 0:12:21.800 It's possible, man, anything is possible. I always have some 0:12:22.160 --> 0:12:23.360 surprises of my sleeve. 0:12:23.960 --> 0:12:27.120 I do like and I know it. It's like live 0:12:27.200 --> 0:12:28.679 life with no regrets. 0:12:28.679 --> 0:12:31.880 It's like kind of a cliche, but like also like 0:12:32.080 --> 0:12:34.839 I truly believe that is how you. 0:12:34.800 --> 0:12:36.440 Should live life. And I also don't. 0:12:36.480 --> 0:12:38.760 I think like people say, like I live with no regrets, 0:12:38.760 --> 0:12:41.640 but most people like don't do it, or if they 0:12:41.679 --> 0:12:43.560 do it, it's it's you know, they maybe do it 0:12:43.559 --> 0:12:46.000 to like a you know, a thirty percent max. Where 0:12:46.040 --> 0:12:48.720 like if you really live with no regrets, that's the 0:12:48.760 --> 0:12:49.280 way to live. 0:12:49.480 --> 0:12:53.480 Is that what's inspired? Like, for example, you're dancing, Like, 0:12:53.640 --> 0:12:56.440 was that the mentality shift that kind of inspired you 0:12:57.120 --> 0:12:59.200 to start trying new things? 0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:00.280 Yeah. 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:02.400 I got to a place where I said, if you 0:13:02.559 --> 0:13:05.240 stop caring about people's opinions, what would you do? And 0:13:05.320 --> 0:13:07.920 I was like, well, dancing. I've always wanted to dance. 0:13:08.760 --> 0:13:11.120 I think, you know, like I love women that can dance. 0:13:11.280 --> 0:13:14.600 I think it's so attractive, and it's a very vulnerable 0:13:14.640 --> 0:13:16.320 place to be, you know, to put to put your 0:13:16.600 --> 0:13:18.640 body out there and move your body like it's one 0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:20.680 of the most vulnerable things you can do in my opinion. 0:13:21.640 --> 0:13:23.920 So for me it was like a challenge. I thought, hey, 0:13:23.960 --> 0:13:27.400 like I'll do this, and then I was shocked at 0:13:27.440 --> 0:13:30.600 what it did to my confidence and my overall self love. 0:13:30.600 --> 0:13:34.360 I mean, dance has changed my life, like legitimately changed 0:13:34.360 --> 0:13:37.400 my life. I've I've found a newer sense of style, 0:13:37.960 --> 0:13:41.760 a greater appreciation for the creative arts. I found a 0:13:41.800 --> 0:13:45.160 community within that They're open minded. Dancers are like super 0:13:45.160 --> 0:13:47.360 open minded and super positive. They're just like happy that 0:13:47.400 --> 0:13:50.600 you're doing their passion, you know, And like I got 0:13:50.679 --> 0:13:53.120 dancers that are like ten times a million times better 0:13:53.160 --> 0:13:55.480 than me, and they are the biggest hype men and 0:13:55.520 --> 0:13:57.640 women because they're just so happy that someone else is 0:13:57.679 --> 0:14:01.120 partaking in their favorite, you know, passion, and so there's 0:14:01.120 --> 0:14:05.160 so much love and just connection and support that I'm like, 0:14:05.200 --> 0:14:07.040 these are the kind of people that, you know, fill 0:14:07.160 --> 0:14:08.959 my cup and you know, that's why I go there 0:14:08.960 --> 0:14:11.480 four times a week now. I love being a part 0:14:11.480 --> 0:14:14.840 of it. My dance instructor is super awesome. She's you know, 0:14:14.920 --> 0:14:16.920 been my therapist at times. Like sometimes we'll just be 0:14:17.040 --> 0:14:18.600 dancing and I will half the time I'll be talking. 0:14:18.640 --> 0:14:21.520 I won't even dance because it's like movement therapy, and 0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:25.400 so it really was a form of therapy. So yeah, 0:14:25.480 --> 0:14:28.720 like that certainly was you know, dancing for me was like, 0:14:28.760 --> 0:14:31.720 what's something that I can do that It's really hard? 0:14:31.840 --> 0:14:34.840 But that like, I can, you know, challenge myself to 0:14:34.840 --> 0:14:36.720 do just to like, just to see if I can 0:14:36.760 --> 0:14:39.160 do it, And dance became that avenue, and then you know, 0:14:39.160 --> 0:14:42.080 I started getting really great feedback online from people. And 0:14:42.160 --> 0:14:44.000 again I get a lot of blowbacks. Still, I mean, 0:14:44.040 --> 0:14:46.160 I'm not, you know, I don't think I'm the best dancer. 0:14:46.160 --> 0:14:47.800 I'm very aware. I think people are like, does he 0:14:47.880 --> 0:14:49.920 think he's good? I'm like, I know, how good of 0:14:49.960 --> 0:14:52.240 a dancer? I am like, I'm not. I can see, 0:14:52.280 --> 0:14:53.760 you know, the best dancers out there, and then I 0:14:53.800 --> 0:14:55.840 can see my videos and I'm not like, oh, you know, 0:14:55.880 --> 0:14:57.840 we're like we're close, you know, like it's not no, 0:14:58.000 --> 0:14:59.920 like it's like these people that have dedicated their live 0:15:00.120 --> 0:15:02.800 to it, they're way better. I'm a stiff dancer. I 0:15:02.840 --> 0:15:04.720 also see I get more shares than likes. I'm like, 0:15:04.760 --> 0:15:06.440 I know why you're sharing it. You're sending to your 0:15:06.480 --> 0:15:08.960 friends to make fun of me. That's fine, But like 0:15:09.000 --> 0:15:11.320 I also look at it as if like, well, hopefully 0:15:11.360 --> 0:15:14.480 one day you all will see when three years from now, 0:15:14.480 --> 0:15:17.560 I'm still dancing, You'll and I'll be good, you know, 0:15:17.560 --> 0:15:18.920 because I'm like, at some point I'm gonna get there 0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:21.720 where it's like, oh, she's good, and then they're gonna 0:15:21.720 --> 0:15:23.320 be like, damn, I've just made fun of this guy 0:15:23.320 --> 0:15:25.360 for the last four years and haven't you know, progressed 0:15:25.400 --> 0:15:27.880 in life, and he's over here actually good, you know, 0:15:27.960 --> 0:15:30.120 really good. Now, maybe I should stop caring about what 0:15:30.120 --> 0:15:32.240 people think, because maybe, like if I just kept doing 0:15:32.280 --> 0:15:35.680 things without worrying about people's opinions, I could see similar success. 0:15:35.680 --> 0:15:38.120 So I'm like, that's not why I'm dancing fully, but 0:15:38.160 --> 0:15:40.320 I also that's why I'm documenting a lot of it 0:15:40.360 --> 0:15:42.840 because I want people to see, like, hey, every amateur 0:15:42.920 --> 0:15:45.160 expert was once an amateur. You got to start somewhere, 0:15:45.160 --> 0:15:47.840 and if you just block out the noise, eventually you know, 0:15:47.880 --> 0:15:49.640 you can get to where you want to go. And 0:15:49.680 --> 0:15:51.480 I want people to just to not be fearful and like, oh, 0:15:51.520 --> 0:15:53.080 he did it, so I can do it. So I'm like, oh, 0:15:53.080 --> 0:15:54.400 you can see my all my videos, like from the 0:15:54.440 --> 0:15:56.560 very beginning. I'm not taking them down, you know, from 0:15:56.600 --> 0:15:58.360 the first dance video I did, you know, it's like 0:15:58.360 --> 0:16:00.280 look at the progression, like and it took time. You know, 0:16:00.280 --> 0:16:02.160 it's for me. People like that's as far as you've 0:16:02.160 --> 0:16:03.880 gotten in two years. I'm like, great, that's good if 0:16:03.880 --> 0:16:06.240 that's what you think, because maybe it'll take me five years. 0:16:06.240 --> 0:16:07.920 But the point is is if you see me five 0:16:08.000 --> 0:16:10.080 years later and I'm actually decent, it's like, well, hey, 0:16:10.400 --> 0:16:12.520 that should go to show you that maybe you should 0:16:12.520 --> 0:16:15.520 stop listening to random people's opinions and just go do it. 0:16:15.920 --> 0:16:18.080 And it might not, you know, change overnight, but maybe 0:16:18.120 --> 0:16:19.800 five years from now you'll get some success. So I 0:16:20.280 --> 0:16:21.760 guess in a way, I'm like, I want That's why 0:16:21.800 --> 0:16:23.520 I'm you know, documenting it. I'm like, this is what 0:16:23.560 --> 0:16:25.440 your social media allows me to do, is like put 0:16:25.480 --> 0:16:27.200 it out there to show people like, hey, once you 0:16:27.200 --> 0:16:28.840 get over the fear of failure and the fear of 0:16:28.960 --> 0:16:32.560 you know, judgment, you know, you can do some pretty 0:16:32.560 --> 0:16:33.000 cool things. 0:16:34.080 --> 0:16:38.520 Guys motivating me right now Jesus Christ dancing. But you 0:16:38.960 --> 0:16:41.560 did you struggle? Did you struggle at all putting up 0:16:41.560 --> 0:16:43.720 that first video? Because like you said, it is like 0:16:44.320 --> 0:16:46.960 it's it's a vulnerable like you know, I would be 0:16:47.280 --> 0:16:50.040 very like I would feel embarrassed, Like I would be 0:16:50.120 --> 0:16:51.120 like can I put this. 0:16:51.120 --> 0:16:51.680 On the internet? 0:16:51.760 --> 0:16:53.360 What if I put in? I know people are gonna 0:16:53.360 --> 0:16:55.320 talk shit? Like was that a struggle? 0:16:55.720 --> 0:16:57.760 Oh yeah, oh I remember I hit the first Like 0:16:57.880 --> 0:17:00.160 right before I posted, I got like this like like 0:17:00.160 --> 0:17:01.800 you know, I got like feeling where I was like, oh, 0:17:01.840 --> 0:17:03.480 my stomach dropped, and I was like, I don't know 0:17:03.480 --> 0:17:06.119