Speaker 1: But I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear.
Speaker 1: But you're a guess to my home. You gotta come
Speaker 1: to me empty, And I said, no guests. Your presences
Speaker 1: presents enough. I already had too much stuff. So how
Speaker 1: did you dare to surbey me?
Speaker 2: Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Bridgard Wyneker. We're
Speaker 2: in the backyard. We love to be back here. Who
Speaker 2: knows how much longer we'll be in the backyard, but
Speaker 2: we're in going at I'm ready to admit that a
Speaker 2: connection in between Los Angeles and New York is not
Speaker 2: a good idea. I thought that was a good idea
Speaker 2: for a little while. I was stopping for lunch in
Speaker 2: Dallas Fort Worth. Every time I go, it's blown up
Speaker 2: in my face almost every time, and I'm ready to
Speaker 2: leave that behind. So that's the that's the recent thing
Speaker 2: we're coming away from in my life, and kind of
Speaker 2: a conclusion to the dishwasher saga that everyone's been kind
Speaker 2: of hanging on to every detail. I now own a
Speaker 2: new dishwasher. Oh okay, let's get into the podcast. I'm
Speaker 2: very excited about today's guest. It's h Allen Scott.
Speaker 3: What's happening to the backyard.
Speaker 2: Well, there's a new studio. Oh, and so the network
Speaker 2: has a studio.
Speaker 3: Yes, I do know of this studio which.
Speaker 2: We haven't had access to for I guess four years.
Speaker 3: Is this ado?
Speaker 2: It's a new studio. The last time we recorded in
Speaker 2: a studio was the old one in January of twenty twenty. Well, actually,
Speaker 2: I think March ninth, twenty twenty, I'm pretty sure. So
Speaker 2: it was real close to everything completely collapsed. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: then they got rid of that studio and now there's
Speaker 2: a new one. We'll see.
Speaker 3: How do you prefer studio? And would you enjoy to
Speaker 3: stay in the backyard?
Speaker 2: Well, I simply love walking into the backyard for my commute.
Speaker 3: That is nice, and I have a lovely home. Although
Speaker 3: I was telling you I would worry about being murdered here.
Speaker 2: And I do all the time. As I told you,
Speaker 2: and I've relayed this to the listener as well. We
Speaker 2: did have a prowler. Yeah, and god knows where he
Speaker 2: is now. He could be in the attic. Well, he
Speaker 2: could be in the Crawls space.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's that story of that woman who slept in
Speaker 3: the closet. I think she was in Japan, maybe I forget,
Speaker 3: but she slept in the top of a closet for
Speaker 3: and she only came out during the day when they
Speaker 3: left for like months.
Speaker 2: This is kind of like a parasite situation.
Speaker 3: Yes, very similar to parasite, but it was a real
Speaker 3: life one. And this was years ago now and you
Speaker 3: can look it up online. I don't know all the details,
Speaker 3: so I can't verify everything.
Speaker 2: She was in any detail.
Speaker 3: She was in the home, and I believe it was
Speaker 3: a she. It might have been a man too, who knows.
Speaker 3: These days, we'd about to do anything. We accept everything
Speaker 3: and and but yeah, no, that she was living there.
Speaker 2: Wow, but how did they do? You remember how they
Speaker 2: discovered her?
Speaker 3: I think a camera. I think they put up a
Speaker 3: camera because I think they noticed weird things, like it
Speaker 3: was small things, but they were very good about concealing.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 3: There.
Speaker 2: They probably just thought it was a very polite raccoon.
Speaker 3: Or probably I would be horrible, like trying to hide
Speaker 3: in a house because I'm already like I'm a very
Speaker 3: large person, but I like I'm clumsy at the same time,
Speaker 3: so my largeness and then when drag I'm even bigger,
Speaker 3: and so like it's I become this clumsy, loud of
Speaker 3: not even walking through a crowd, like my coat will
Speaker 3: trip things over, like I will literally, and my boyfriend
Speaker 3: be like, your coat, your bag, everything is making things
Speaker 3: knock over, and I'm like, it's not my problem, these
Speaker 3: are in my way. Then I can't deal with it.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: I would love to find out that you had been
Speaker 2: living secretly in my home in drag for months.
Speaker 3: That would be just smelly and horrible. It would be
Speaker 3: smelly and horrible. You never want to drag after four
Speaker 3: hours in a private room because it smells.
Speaker 2: It smells. You've just been in my closet for years. Yes,
Speaker 2: I want to.
Speaker 3: Go back to the closet, especially because we're recording during
Speaker 3: Pride month and that's desperately needing to be in a closet.
Speaker 2: We've all got to go back into the club. Do
Speaker 2: you do any of that Pride stuff?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I don't do anything, even out. Any celebration is just
Speaker 2: not something I do.
Speaker 3: It's too much. Unless it's on zoom. I'm not going
Speaker 3: to your party. I don't have the energy. I really don't.
Speaker 3: I was telling someone the other day, my idea of
Speaker 3: a great float is just a it's a nice float
Speaker 3: with those circle wicker chairs, you know, with the cushions,
Speaker 3: like the old school ones from the eighties. Of course,
Speaker 3: we're all reading books. There's stacks of books and magazines everywhere.
Speaker 3: Melissa Etharges come to my window is playing and nobody's
Speaker 3: talking or waving. We are just reading people magazine.
Speaker 2: Kind of driving past like open fields. Yeah, A Gelson's there,
Speaker 2: a Gelson's. There are actually nobody people. There's no one
Speaker 2: like watching and screaming.
Speaker 3: No one is even supporting you. But that is pride
Speaker 3: to me. Just leave me alone and let me read
Speaker 3: my magazine.
Speaker 2: That's my entire pride expense. I mean, I'm support everyone
Speaker 2: everyone to be naked on the streets screaming. I simply
Speaker 2: can't be there.
Speaker 3: I just can't do it.
Speaker 2: Oh, within five minutes, I'll be ready for an.
Speaker 3: I was actually worried about because I have never been
Speaker 3: to your home before. It's lovely, but I'm not an
Speaker 3: outdoors person like that, and I was I mean, in California,
Speaker 3: when you're in the shade, it's like there's a c
Speaker 3: So it's fine. I feel very comfortable here, but I
Speaker 3: was worried that there would be direct suns somewhere.
Speaker 2: Oh well, look, can you imagine?
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, I mean saying I've been dead years.
Speaker 3: The only hand that I have is from Bronzer, Like
Speaker 3: I don't have there's no sun hits the skin.
Speaker 2: It's an impossibility for me. Yeah. No, have you been
Speaker 2: sunburned in the last ten years, really sunburned?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I have?
Speaker 2: Yeah, but what led you to that?
Speaker 3: Was?
Speaker 2: Well? Or was it? It?
Speaker 3: Often is? This is crazy where my boyfriend and I
Speaker 3: are big Disney people, and we randomly will go to
Speaker 3: Disneyland sometimes, and I have a whole process to leave
Speaker 3: the house. I have, like you know, sunscreen and makeup,
Speaker 3: and like, oh, there's a whole thing, not just even
Speaker 3: with drags, even as a rice. Like there's a process
Speaker 3: for me to leave the home that I make more
Speaker 3: complicated than it needs to be. And I will leave
Speaker 3: the home without putting on the sunscreen on my arms
Speaker 3: and stuff. I'll put it on my face always my face.
Speaker 3: The face will be protected, like I will be eighty
Speaker 3: three years old. My face will look good, but the
Speaker 3: rest of me will be decrectible with trees exactly. And
Speaker 3: I'm fine with that because that's what like, you know,
Speaker 3: Mumo's are for But I yeah, that happened to Disney.
Speaker 3: It happens to Disney a lot, actually, And.
Speaker 2: You had gone oh so, but you hit Your face
Speaker 2: was protected at Disney face, but you had forgot and.
Speaker 3: Just the back gets burned. The arms get burned, the
Speaker 3: back of the legs, the thighs get burned sometimes.
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, I guess I'm not in shorts often enough
Speaker 2: to get my legs burned.
Speaker 3: I live in shorts.
Speaker 2: I need to. I mean, it's summertime. Now it's time
Speaker 2: for me to break them out.
Speaker 3: I wish shorts all year long. My good friend, famous
Speaker 3: drag queen Kimchi Her and I often talk about always
Speaker 3: like literally twenty four seven three sixty five, always.
Speaker 2: Short shorts all the time, even in like deep January, even.
Speaker 3: In deep January, I will be wearing shorts because I
Speaker 3: have a coat on. I'm fine, My legs are not cold. No,
Speaker 3: I'm not. But also I'm a fat person, so like
Speaker 3: the idea of being cold to me, it's like being hungry.
Speaker 3: It's very foreign. I don't it's not my thing, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Have you been a lifelong shorts person?
Speaker 3: Not a lifelong short because I lived in New York
Speaker 3: for a long time before moving to Los Angeles, so
Speaker 3: there it's ridiculous to wear shorts right like during the winter.
Speaker 3: But here I can get away with it all a year,
Speaker 3: and I'm actually pretty comfortable. Even this weekend, I'm going
Speaker 3: to a funeral. Everything's fine, but I'm going.
Speaker 2: To the person at the funeral.
Speaker 3: I'm worried about what I'm gonna wear because I can't
Speaker 3: wear shorts to a funeral. Although it's a very casual family,
Speaker 3: so maybe I can't.
Speaker 2: I feel like a nice pair of shorts if they repleace.
Speaker 3: So I have a beautiful blouse that I'm gonna wear,
Speaker 3: and I have a bag. I mean, my bag is
Speaker 3: going to be brought us, so like if anything that's
Speaker 3: gonna say, hey, I'm here for this funeral. I look,
Speaker 3: I put myself together, but I'm wearing shorts. These are
Speaker 3: my life, right.
Speaker 2: I feel like, as long as it's not too short
Speaker 2: of a short, you could do it at a.
Speaker 3: Few I never wear short shorts. No one needs to
Speaker 3: see that. Nobody. I'm sure people would love to see that,
Speaker 3: they really don't. I went it was my good friend,
Speaker 3: you know, Ellio Cleer. Yeah, it was his birthday the night,
Speaker 3: and he wanted to go roller skating, which is ridiculous
Speaker 3: because we're all above forty. And we went roller skating,
Speaker 3: and my boyfriend really loves roller skating. I don't, but
Speaker 3: I went for my boyfriend's sake so he wouldn't be
Speaker 3: alone on the thing. He was basically like a triple
Speaker 3: A thing where he was just skating and I was
Speaker 3: being towed, you know, like he was just holding me
Speaker 3: as we went. And uh and but Elliott was in
Speaker 3: short shorts and skate and yes, and it blew me away.
Speaker 3: Elliott has fantastic legs, but like, I don't think short
Speaker 3: shorts should be out in public anywhere that isn't anybody
Speaker 3: that isn't near a beach or perhaps a gym situation.
Speaker 2: Wow, this is fair.
Speaker 3: I just don't think short short. I know, I'm sure
Speaker 3: it's positive, but not short short. I'm not st hearing
Speaker 3: there's a there's an I'll bring my ruler out. I'll
Speaker 3: do the old school cat.
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm short is too short for you.
Speaker 3: I don't know the whole inches thing, which is why
Speaker 3: I've been, you know, very successful in dating. I'm just
Speaker 3: like anything's good for me. It looks big enough, but
Speaker 3: I don't know. I'm such a stick Why am I?
Speaker 3: Why am I sounding like a New York stick comic
Speaker 3: who's like sixty years old skills?
Speaker 2: I know I'm not that.
Speaker 3: I'm not that person, but I don't know the length situation.
Speaker 3: But I would say, like if it if it's mid
Speaker 3: thive thig, that's probably okay. It can't It needs to
Speaker 3: stop where the thigh spreads. You know what I mean,
Speaker 3: Like you know how like when you said, I mean,
Speaker 3: I don't know if you've experienced this, but like I
Speaker 3: have expanding hips, and when I expand the right here
Speaker 3: is where it stops expanding, which is probably like four
Speaker 3: inches above my knee. So I would say four inches
Speaker 3: above your knee, that's where that's the short, short stoppage.
Speaker 3: It needs to stop there.
Speaker 2: I feel like that. I mean that is basically pilgrim ware.
Speaker 3: Well, because you sweat your thighs sweat, so when you're
Speaker 3: sitting on a chair and it's above that four inch mark,
Speaker 3: you're gonna have some thigh sweat. And then you get
Speaker 3: into a situation like on the New York subway where
Speaker 3: if you're wearing like if you have butt sweat, right,
Speaker 3: and it's summertime and you stand up and you have
Speaker 3: the outline of your butt on the chair, so you
Speaker 3: do that weird slide thing to like wipe the sweat
Speaker 3: off the seat to get it off. That's I know
Speaker 3: I should, but like I feel like it's it's not hygienic.
Speaker 2: I mean, but what is hygienic on the subway? What
Speaker 2: are we talking about?
Speaker 3: There almost hygienic anywhere somewhere fast days, Yes, exactly.
Speaker 2: I mean, I mean I guess now that I say that,
Speaker 2: it's like in a short short, what if you end
Speaker 2: up in a public restroom, you want as much of
Speaker 2: your leg covered as possible.
Speaker 3: It's for your shrue. That's very true.
Speaker 2: So now I'm wondering, I'm second guessing everything I've ever done.
Speaker 3: I have I wear shorts that are often cut off,
Speaker 3: and oftentimes I have the little straggleies that like hang below.
Speaker 3: You know. Sometimes when I'm on when I'm in the
Speaker 3: restroom and I pull down my pants, I always go
Speaker 3: to a stall, like I'll never go to a urinal
Speaker 3: because straight men they see nails and they see me
Speaker 3: and they're like, we can't stand next to this person.
Speaker 3: So I go to a stall. But because I do that,
Speaker 3: my shorts will go down a little bit and the
Speaker 3: little straggley sometimes will like get on the toilet. Oh
Speaker 3: and there's been a moment where I've pulled my pants
Speaker 3: up and I felt something wet and it's disgusting. But
Speaker 3: you have to just power through. That's what New York.
Speaker 3: That's the gift of New York. Powering through feeling like
Speaker 3: you have pissed on me. Power, that's what New York
Speaker 3: is given.
Speaker 2: Just filthy. Yes, I mean that is an interest. I
Speaker 2: was there a few days ago and I it occurred
Speaker 2: maybe like I smell but everyone here, I mean it's
Speaker 2: a very accepted thing that we're all sweating constantly.
Speaker 3: Are you a cologne person?
Speaker 2: Not at all?
Speaker 3: Oh see, I'm a layer. I'm a layered person. You
Speaker 3: can smell me now, I'm sure you can smell something lovely.
Speaker 3: Yeah it's me. It's Gucci. Well it's Gucci. And then
Speaker 3: there's dire on the wrist. But yes, yes, and I
Speaker 3: do have some doom malone on too.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So like I layer, And are those.
Speaker 2: Those body parts where it's always is, do you have
Speaker 2: like a map? Actually?
Speaker 3: I do? I put so On my neck, it's always
Speaker 3: either my Gucci Bloom it's a Bloom perfume or it's Glossier.
Speaker 3: On my wrist it's always uh Dire. And on my
Speaker 3: clothes it's always Dr Malone.
Speaker 2: Walk me through this logic.
Speaker 3: It's just the sense that I love, but they don't.
Speaker 3: I find that the doom alone doesn't work anywhere outside
Speaker 3: of like on my clothes. Oh you know what I mean,
Speaker 3: because I put it on my hair and I put
Speaker 3: it on my skin before, and it doesn't really work
Speaker 3: the same way. Whereas when I put Gucci on my skin.
Speaker 3: There's something about the oils in my skin that just
Speaker 3: makes it go high. I'm here, you know, like smell me.
Speaker 2: I mean it's working. It's not like an overpowering smell.
Speaker 2: I just feel like you.
Speaker 3: Could be lying.
Speaker 2: I'm absolutely not lying. Just a moment ago, I was like, Oh,
Speaker 2: it feels it feels more fragrant out here than you.
Speaker 2: And I feel like the word fragrant is bad flor
Speaker 2: no fragrance.
Speaker 3: I think I like the word fragrant.
Speaker 2: I think that G is too hard for what we're describing.
Speaker 3: That's true, it does sound like a condition, and I
Speaker 3: don't think I'm like I don't smell. I don't feel
Speaker 3: like I smell bad. But even if I did smell bad,
Speaker 3: or for I was to if I were too much
Speaker 3: like I do want to be that old lady who
Speaker 3: like you can smell coming like that is. Yes, I
Speaker 3: know this. I know that's where I'm going in my life,
Speaker 3: and I'm probably already there, and I'm actually totally fine
Speaker 3: with it.
Speaker 2: It's like, uh, Pepelli but in reverse.
Speaker 3: He just did an interview I think it was with
Speaker 3: interview or something where she said she wanted to smell
Speaker 3: like a grandma, Like that's her favorite perfume scent is
Speaker 3: smelling like a grandma. And that's partly why I like
Speaker 3: Joe Malone so much, is because even though that is
Speaker 3: a very expense, I mean, it's expensive perfume not to practice,
Speaker 3: but I feel like I have to compensate because I
Speaker 3: feel like I'm the least famous guest you've ever had,
Speaker 3: so I had to talk about I mentioned having a
Speaker 3: product bag I had alone perfume.
Speaker 2: I'm really compensated the car that dropped them.
Speaker 3: But no, the Joe alone has a grandma he sent
Speaker 3: to it, and it feels I just.
Speaker 2: But I'm not smelling. I'm not sensing Grandma, and apologies
Speaker 2: to Grandma's everywhere, but I feel like the Grandma send
Speaker 2: is often a very powdery Uh yeah, it's like it's
Speaker 2: a thing that you have to really breathe through.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, it's masking something like something is being
Speaker 3: masked that is either a condition, perhaps cancer. Maybe it's
Speaker 3: like that World War Z movie where like, you know,
Speaker 3: the zombies could smell cancer.
Speaker 2: And that's why I didn't realize that's what that movie.
Speaker 3: I saw that movie. So I've had cancer before, and
Speaker 3: so when I saw that movie, like a couple of
Speaker 3: years after I got out of chemo, and I realized
Speaker 3: at the end Brad Pitt like shot himself up basically
Speaker 3: with like an illness, like a terminal illness, like a
Speaker 3: cancer or something, right, and the people who had those
Speaker 3: illnesses the zombie didn't go after And so be fine
Speaker 3: in this zombie apocalypse.
Speaker 2: Be a king.
Speaker 3: I would be a king if I'd be a king
Speaker 3: and covered in JOm alone and everyone would be dying,
Speaker 3: and I'd get all the jumb alone and there's this
Speaker 3: one lady at the Century City JOm alone store who
Speaker 3: is a bitch, And I would go into that store
Speaker 3: after the zombie apocalypse, and I would take all of
Speaker 3: the perfumes.
Speaker 2: Those people are so intimidating too. You really are perfume
Speaker 2: cologne counter people. Yes, I can't approach.
Speaker 3: There's too much. I mean I had approaching people in
Speaker 3: general and shopping situations. I like to just get in
Speaker 3: and do my thing and leave. I'm not a big
Speaker 3: like converse with the person selling me something which I
Speaker 3: know they're making commission and I get it, and I
Speaker 3: will gladly say that you helped me if it gets
Speaker 3: you the commission. You're kind of fine to do that,
Speaker 3: of course, but I don't want you to communicate with
Speaker 3: me back off.
Speaker 2: Is there a lot of up selling in the colone market?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like what does that mean? It's like, oh, you
Speaker 2: want do you want another bottle?
Speaker 3: They're looking for like the notes and they want you
Speaker 3: to like. I mean, they want you to be impressed
Speaker 3: by whatever the potential new fragrance or the thing or
Speaker 3: the notes in this one. If you liked this one,
Speaker 3: you might like this one and then they can sell you.
Speaker 3: It's it's like a car salesman situation.
Speaker 2: I know, but I feel like you're ultimately only gonna
Speaker 2: end up with one bottle.
Speaker 3: I know, but it's it's exciting.
Speaker 2: Accessories that they try to get you.
Speaker 3: And see, I don't even need the accessories because there
Speaker 3: is something and maybe this is just me, Maybe this
Speaker 3: is just like maybe this is the dry queen of me.
Speaker 3: But there is something about like spraying that on right
Speaker 3: before you leave the house, and you know, like I
Speaker 3: got my bag around my body, I got my perfume on,
Speaker 3: I got my keys in my hand, and I got
Speaker 3: some sky, I got some gum in my bag. I
Speaker 3: could do anything. I could literally do anything, Like I
Speaker 3: literally leave feeling like the world is my oyster and
Speaker 3: I'm driving a Kia.
Speaker 2: Like you know, and it's but it's also very considerate
Speaker 2: of you. I mean, a nice smelling person is such
Speaker 2: a lovely thing.
Speaker 3: Well, but some people hate it. Like I have a
Speaker 3: good friend, my good friend Matt, who I'm flying because
Speaker 3: we're going to the funeral tomorrow, and I know he
Speaker 3: doesn't like strong perfumes, and so I am having this
Speaker 3: debate now before I get on a plane, because people
Speaker 3: on planes too also probably don't like strong perfumes. But
Speaker 3: also like I want to be me, and you know,
Speaker 3: I don't mind being the asshole who people talk about,
Speaker 3: because at least they're talking about you, Like, I don't
Speaker 3: mind them being like that guy smelled like he was
Speaker 3: hiding something.
Speaker 2: But on a plane, as opposed to the opposite of that,
Speaker 2: I would much rather have one have somebody smell like
Speaker 2: cologne rather. I sat next to a very stinky woman
Speaker 2: on my most recent flight. She just was a stink
Speaker 2: like she did like body odor stink. I don't even
Speaker 2: know that it was, or orange toilet sting.
Speaker 3: Oh toilet.
Speaker 2: This one smelled and it was like seven am. So
Speaker 2: it's like, what's happening? How this band already.
Speaker 3: Fried food on people?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: You notice that? As someone who's worked in food before, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I become very aware of it, like seeping into your clothes.
Speaker 2: And it's weird how that becomes unpleasant when it's not
Speaker 2: within the right environment.
Speaker 3: Yes, well, even in the car. My boyfriend loves fast food.
Speaker 3: I'm not so much of a fast food person, but
Speaker 3: my boyfriend loves it, and so oftentimes we'll go get
Speaker 3: fast food and then I'll leave the apartment after we've
Speaker 3: aten everything, and I'll get in the car and I'll
Speaker 3: smell I'll smell the food and it just it's too much.
Speaker 2: You don't want that after the food is gone.
Speaker 3: No, I barely want the food when it's there. But
Speaker 3: that's because of the Ozambic. Are you to say, well,
Speaker 3: now I've switched to Manjaro just last week.
Speaker 2: How's it going.
Speaker 3: So it's going great. I've lost seventy pounds. Oh my yes,
Speaker 3: I was at my biggest during the pandemic was three
Speaker 3: forty something and now I'm down to the two fifty.
Speaker 3: I still have a little bit to go, but it's
Speaker 3: been great for me.
Speaker 2: And I love it. Does it feel like you're eating
Speaker 2: like one meal a day?
Speaker 3: It doesn't feel like I'm eating one meal a day.
Speaker 3: But like what I was saying about the fast food,
Speaker 3: part of the thing is like I just don't have
Speaker 3: the craving for it, right, and also I don't have
Speaker 3: the craving to like I mean, I joke, but I'm like,
Speaker 3: now I have leftovers for the first time in my life,
Speaker 3: Like I've never had leftovers before, or I've never that
Speaker 3: food chatter in my head, that food sort of voice
Speaker 3: in my head that was always thinking about either what
Speaker 3: I'm going to eat or feeling shame for what I
Speaker 3: did eat right just completely gone.
Speaker 2: Wow, it's amazing.
Speaker 3: It's just retooled how I think about food in a
Speaker 3: way that like. And also I was worried before about
Speaker 3: people saying like you have to be on it for
Speaker 3: the rest of your life, which was a concern of mine.
Speaker 3: And and then I was thinking, like, well, diabetes strikes,
Speaker 3: you have to be on for the rest of your life.
Speaker 3: This is clearly a condition I've dealt with my entire life.
Speaker 3: Like I literally this is the first time in my
Speaker 3: life a weight loss program has actually worked for me.
Speaker 3: And that isn't like that wasn't an unhealthy direction, right,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean? Like I got skinny doing unhealth.
Speaker 2: Eatings before adjacent type yes.
Speaker 3: Very much an eating disorder, whereas this is like, oh,
Speaker 3: I can actually just like exist, and I find I
Speaker 3: have like space to think and do about other things.
Speaker 3: At night, I find I'm bored, oh, because I don't.
Speaker 3: I'm not snacking, I'm not thinking about feeling, I'm not
Speaker 3: going exactly. I'm actually able to read a book.
Speaker 2: It's crazy.
Speaker 3: I read my first Oprah's Book Club book in like years.
Speaker 3: Which book was the one about Alanie Love or whatever
Speaker 3: not Lonnie Love but love. It was about the woman.
Speaker 3: It was a nonfiction book, and she went to prison.
Speaker 3: She like she was. She stole her neighbor's credit cards
Speaker 3: and then went to prison. It is something love in
Speaker 3: the book, Mama Love. I forget. But it was very
Speaker 3: good and I finished it. I was able to read it.
Speaker 3: That's really the point. The book is irrelevant. I finished
Speaker 3: the book.
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm curious about this book when we're not
Speaker 2: going to bring up my kindle and tell you about it.
Speaker 2: My Kindle has made it impossible to remember author or title.
Speaker 2: I'm reading a book, I haven't looked at the title
Speaker 2: or author. Yes, months I have to look up the
Speaker 2: book in my kindle. But I do love my kindle. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I mean, for the most part, it's made things much better.
Speaker 2: Do you read it on your phone or do you
Speaker 2: my kindle itself? Yes, I don't have an actual kindle.
Speaker 2: I just do it on my phone or even on
Speaker 2: my computer. Oh see my eyes start to hurt.
Speaker 3: Oh interesting.
Speaker 2: I've had my Kindle for about well, I had one
Speaker 2: for about ten years and it finally shut down. I've
Speaker 2: got my second Kindle, though, I mean, I don't know if.
Speaker 3: I could probably sap for white situation.
Speaker 2: It is a paper I feel like paper white now?
Speaker 2: Is it? Default situation? Not that this is an ad
Speaker 2: for Kindles. Who cares about that company would sponsor you
Speaker 2: though Kindle reach out.
Speaker 3: But I've worked for Amazon. They pay very well. I mean,
Speaker 3: they've got the in the television department.
Speaker 2: I would hope that they could pay somebody. But as
Speaker 2: someone who's moved across the country a couple of times,
Speaker 2: I just couldn't keep physical books.
Speaker 3: It becomes clumbersome. I know, when I left New York,
Speaker 3: I had a whole strand situation of just trying to
Speaker 3: get rid of because I mean, shipping books is so expensive.
Speaker 2: Oh I did it from LA to New York, and
Speaker 2: then I was over. I had to say goodbye.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah now in my apartment cause I haven't
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't feel like I'm leaving LA. So like,
Speaker 3: I actually do have books. I was like book of
Speaker 3: the Month club for like years. I never read any
Speaker 3: of them because I was always thinking about food. But
Speaker 3: I have a whole bookshelf of books that I've never read.
Speaker 2: I mean my dream is to have a personal library
Speaker 2: with a ladder that I can fall off of to
Speaker 2: my desk. At some point.
Speaker 3: So are you afraid of letders?
Speaker 2: Not at all.
Speaker 3: I am very afraid, yes, ladder not lot. People don't
Speaker 3: want me on those kinds of things. I literally my
Speaker 3: boyfriend and my friends they know, they carry bags, they
Speaker 3: open doors, they get on things, they test things out
Speaker 3: because I will either break.
Speaker 2: Or fall because you're a klutz.
Speaker 3: I am a klutz. I am. I am a klutz,
Speaker 3: and everyone knows that about me. And you know what,
Speaker 3: I just kind of I'm sick of being ashamed of it,
Speaker 3: and I just like if things fall around me, it's
Speaker 3: gonna happen. It's just gonna happen.
Speaker 2: I think it's a really healthy attitude about this too.
Speaker 3: I think so too. But yeah, ladders, I won't get
Speaker 3: on a ladder because I know, like well, when we
Speaker 3: went roller skating, literally, instead of me being like like
Speaker 3: being scared of falling, which isn't necessarily my fear of
Speaker 3: a ladder or roller skating or anything, it is more
Speaker 3: about I'm too busy to be hurt right.
Speaker 2: Now, right like my teams in a life when it's
Speaker 2: like oh I could be see or be severely injured.
Speaker 3: I don't have time for either. I mean, there's so
Speaker 3: much going on right now that like I literally don't
Speaker 3: have time to have a like a bad back. So
Speaker 3: that's why I shouldn't get on ladders or go roller
Speaker 3: skating or any of those things.
Speaker 2: I'll say, I prefer a ladder that's like latched to
Speaker 2: a wall, or is on wheels that's like you get
Speaker 2: to scoot on.
Speaker 3: If it's latched to a wall. Though I would question
Speaker 3: who latched it and if they were competent, because, like I,
Speaker 3: there are so many times too like things are supposed
Speaker 3: to work like built wise, like just exist on walls
Speaker 3: and shit, and I've used them and they've broken. Like
Speaker 3: we have these blinds in our apartment, you know the
Speaker 3: ones that you like you can twist the thing and
Speaker 3: they're like, of course you know they have yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: somehow I am horrible with them and they always fall
Speaker 3: off or they won't turn. And my boyfriend is like,
Speaker 3: what are you doing to these blinds? And I don't
Speaker 3: know what I'm opening a blind and I'm closing a
Speaker 3: blind and I'm I'm I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 2: It sounds like you're over using a blind.
Speaker 3: Perhaps maybe I'm too rough, Maybe I'm like, you know,
Speaker 3: like the kid who pets the cat too hard. I
Speaker 3: don't know. But like I I'm, I'm doing something and
Speaker 3: I break things and it just I can't, I can't remember.
Speaker 2: Very destructive person I am, but not intentional.
Speaker 3: It is not intentionally. I am aware of it. Well,
Speaker 3: I'm aware that I am, but I'm but I do
Speaker 3: not feel it's intentional. I'm just existing like i'm and
Speaker 3: I'm having no shame in my existence. And that's pride,
Speaker 3: which is p r I d well.
Speaker 2: I mean there's something else that I feels a little
Speaker 2: more intentional that i'd like to talk to you about.
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's intentional or not, but I'll
Speaker 2: get into it. Look, I was very excited to have
Speaker 2: you here today. I thought your least famous guest. Yes,
Speaker 2: that's not that's I'm comparing. But I could make a
Speaker 2: list of we talk.
Speaker 3: About that off after we record, I guess.
Speaker 2: But we love every one of our guests who cares
Speaker 2: about fame. Yeah, sure, I was so excited to have
Speaker 2: you here.
Speaker 3: Oh I'm so glad. I'm literally I'm a huge fan
Speaker 3: of the podcast.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know. I mean, interesting things have happened
Speaker 2: today that make me wonder if you've ever even listened.
Speaker 3: To I have, Oh I have, most recently the Maria
Speaker 3: Bamford one, which is like icon.
Speaker 2: Of oh I love Maria.
Speaker 3: I mean what I mean episode right?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yes, yes, maybe my favorite comedian.
Speaker 3: In fact, I was we'll talk about that when we
Speaker 3: listened to the gift. But that's when I was listening
Speaker 3: to that episode.
Speaker 2: Well, I was a little shocked then when I saw
Speaker 2: you kind of saunter in my home today holding what
Speaker 2: is clearly a gift bag, yes for a podcast called
Speaker 2: I said, no Gifts.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know.
Speaker 2: Uh, do you want me to open this here on
Speaker 2: the show? Yeah? I do.
Speaker 3: But I'm one of those people, and I'm sure you
Speaker 3: know these people who when you get when you give gifts,
Speaker 3: the person then proceeds to tell you why it's bad
Speaker 3: and you're gonna hate it. And that is me. That
Speaker 3: is me. That is how I am. And now I
Speaker 3: want to say that I when I give gifts, I
Speaker 3: often and gifting is my love language. I do love
Speaker 3: giving gifts. However, I'm very erratic when I give gifts
Speaker 3: and I do regift and oftentimes I forget to put
Speaker 3: gifts in bags that are sentimental or sweet that have
Speaker 3: bows and shit.
Speaker 2: I think that's great. Lower expectations.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And so I had this Spectrum bag in my
Speaker 3: in my car for a long time, and I had
Speaker 3: the gift in my front seat. But I thought, I
Speaker 3: can't just give you the gift without without a bag,
Speaker 3: you know, because I can't. And so I had to
Speaker 3: find a bag. And I knew I had this router
Speaker 3: that I need to return to Spectrum, and I've been
Speaker 3: it's been in the back of my car for like
Speaker 3: a year now. And so I had the Spectrum bag
Speaker 3: and I thought, Okay, I'll take the router out of it,
Speaker 3: and I'll put your gift in the Spectrum bag. And
Speaker 3: so the gift then is actually both emotional but also
Speaker 3: something that I need to get off my hands.
Speaker 2: Oh I'm very excited about.
Speaker 3: Yes, I'm gonna hate it, but I also think it's
Speaker 3: going to be useful for you.
Speaker 2: The last time I was on the phone with Spectrum,
Speaker 2: the last memorable time, I think I ended the call
Speaker 2: by saying, I hope Spectrum blows up.
Speaker 3: But this is not a Spectrum.
Speaker 2: This is not a cable box. No not, I'm going
Speaker 2: to reach in here, okay. Oh, and it's I like
Speaker 2: the sound that's happening.
Speaker 3: About It is partially open, so be careful.
Speaker 2: Yeah, is this the top?
Speaker 3: That is the top? I believe, Yeah, yeah. And it's
Speaker 3: it's a prescription strength cat food for cats who are obese.
Speaker 3: And it's it's half you. It's gently you, definitely half you. Yes,
Speaker 3: And it's very expensive though. I mean that's like eighty dollars.
Speaker 2: A bad food, good pet food gets expensive the prescription
Speaker 2: strength kind right, yeah, right, So like that, So okay,
Speaker 2: So here's the emotional party, and I'm so glad because
Speaker 2: we were.
Speaker 3: Supposed to do this I think a week ago or
Speaker 3: something and we had to reschedule. And I was so
Speaker 3: glad when I got the email to reschedule because me
Speaker 3: and my boyfriend had to recently unexpectedly put our cat down.
Speaker 3: Oh and so idy to hear thank you. And that's
Speaker 3: when I was listening to the Maria Bamford. So actually
Speaker 3: it was like that because I was like going through
Speaker 3: this because I had to catch up and I wanted
Speaker 3: to like be up to date on everything, you know
Speaker 3: what I mean, of course, but also I was like
Speaker 3: loving her anyway, and so I'm in the process of
Speaker 3: like getting rid of everything related to Fraser, which was
Speaker 3: what my cat's name was. And so this is more
Speaker 3: of like a friend take this off my hands. However,
Speaker 3: what you can do because it is I mean, this
Speaker 3: is like a zembic for cats. So like my cat
Speaker 3: was so fat?
Speaker 2: How fat?
Speaker 3: I think? Well, so they told I went with the
Speaker 3: vet where we had to put him down, said that
Speaker 3: he was he successfully lost weight. He was like twenty
Speaker 3: three pounds, twenty four pounds, okay, and he got down
Speaker 3: to seventeen.
Speaker 2: Wow, a lot of weights.
Speaker 3: He's like a mazon. So he was like a big cat,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 2: I mean they look big even when they're small.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, worth a lot of body, right, and when
Speaker 3: you lift him up, he's like long body. So he's
Speaker 3: a very big cat. But he was. But seventeen was
Speaker 3: like the sweet spot for him for like being a
Speaker 3: main coon. So he was. It worked. It works. So
Speaker 3: what you could do is you could get like lovely
Speaker 3: little maybe ziploc bags that have like Disney characters on
Speaker 3: them or something. Put some of that in and give
Speaker 3: that out to people to cats suffering from obesity, friends
Speaker 3: of yours who have cats suffering from me. And that's expensive.
Speaker 3: So if they like it, then they know, hey, it's
Speaker 3: worth the money, because I wasn't when I bought this,
Speaker 3: I willing nearly spent eight hundred or eighty dollars.
Speaker 2: If you said eight hundred dollars shut down the podcast.
Speaker 2: I spent eight hundred dollars on that, let's be real.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, of course, but I.
Speaker 3: Spent eighty dollars on the on the on the cat food,
Speaker 3: and I was worried Fraser wouldn't eat it, and I
Speaker 3: don't spend money like that. I want to be guaranteed
Speaker 3: of the success. Joe Malone smells great Prada, always great
Speaker 3: cat food, potentially dangerous and he might not eat it,
Speaker 3: and it's a waste of eighty dollars, but he enjoyed
Speaker 3: it and he lost all that weight because of it.
Speaker 2: And so I know you're trying to like kind of
Speaker 2: convert me into being a cat food salesman or re or.
Speaker 3: Big farm work or or you could just be that
Speaker 3: like helpful friend who's like, hey, I got some of
Speaker 3: this stuff. Just like pass it to them on the
Speaker 3: table like it's a secret, and the cat person, the
Speaker 3: cat person will be like, is this what is it called?
Speaker 2: Is the Royal canon?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Royal canin which it's like canine without the ease, sounds
Speaker 2: like a French cat.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but yeah, so royal canon. When they hear it's
Speaker 3: royal canon, they'll be like, that's prescription strength. You know,
Speaker 3: you just can't get that. You can't go into Petco
Speaker 3: and just buy this. You have to have to use
Speaker 3: a paper.
Speaker 2: You actually have to get it.
Speaker 3: Yes, over, you cannot buy this without the paper. Why
Speaker 3: it's not like ozempic where you can just buy the
Speaker 3: fourteen hundred dollars to spend it and they'll give it
Speaker 3: to you. You have to have the prescription or something.
Speaker 2: Well, first of all, I didn't know you could do
Speaker 2: that without ZEMP.
Speaker 3: I think you can. I don't really know. I have
Speaker 3: the prescription, I have Greade Insurance, okay, but I thank
Speaker 3: you WGA. But with cat food, they wouldn't. I tried
Speaker 3: by I thought I could because I was like, I
Speaker 3: don't want to get a fucking thing, But no, you
Speaker 3: need the paper.
Speaker 2: That to me makes no sense. Who is out there
Speaker 2: like abusing medicine.
Speaker 3: That's why the little gift bags of the cat food
Speaker 3: is going to be great for you, because people desperately
Speaker 3: want it, but they don't want to go get the
Speaker 3: piece of paper, so they want to know if it works.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, this is like me selling oxycon on
Speaker 2: the streets. Yes, that's crazy, Yeah, order lying drug dealer, I.
Speaker 3: Mean perhaps, But it's also there are so many cat
Speaker 3: people in Los Angeles because so many places don't allow
Speaker 3: dogs in their apartments. So this is the city to
Speaker 3: do this. This is a gift that keeps on giving.
Speaker 3: It is half used.
Speaker 2: Somebody's got to reach out to me. If you own
Speaker 2: a cat that's a little overweight or struggling with its
Speaker 2: way and a few, reach out to me, and I'm
Speaker 2: willing to give you some more, if not all, of
Speaker 2: this cat food.
Speaker 3: It is comically funny though, when a cat I mean
Speaker 3: it's not because it's unhealthy, but it's comically funny when
Speaker 3: a cat does get two obese, because then they can't
Speaker 3: lick their bootyhole, and which is what we had with Frasier.
Speaker 3: Feels like a pro Yeah, I mean maybe, but like
Speaker 3: that is how they clean them, right, And then it
Speaker 3: becomes your problem to that deal with his and yeah,
Speaker 3: and then I don't have the time. I mean, I've
Speaker 3: already told you I'm very busy, and so I don't have.
Speaker 2: The time for a back injury or to clean my cats. Don't.
Speaker 3: I'm too busy at that computer working. You know, it's
Speaker 3: Los Angeles. Things are expensive. And I got a boyfriend
Speaker 3: who's a designer. He's not making shit and so I, uh, well,
Speaker 3: he does work with the drag Wis Queen, so he's
Speaker 3: making some money.
Speaker 2: But oh that's a yeah, that is to me a
Speaker 2: thing I couldn't do. Like with cats, even a litter
Speaker 2: box is a lot for me.
Speaker 3: Oh well, see, okay, now this is the other thing
Speaker 3: I got, the litter genie. You think I think it does.
Speaker 3: I thought Fraser was going to be terrified of it.
Speaker 3: My friend gave it to me, and they got it
Speaker 3: as like a sponsorship gift because they're like, again another
Speaker 3: system of being less famous. They're way more famous than me,
Speaker 3: and so they got it as.
Speaker 2: A freaking real reason to become famous.
Speaker 3: And so my friend didn't use it, and so they
Speaker 3: gave it to us, and I was like, Fraser might
Speaker 3: might not be into this because it's a robot, right,
Speaker 3: It like moves on its own and makes noise and stuff. No,
Speaker 3: Fraser loved it.
Speaker 2: Did it eliminate smells?
Speaker 3: It did? And then he would come into the living room,
Speaker 3: saunter into the living room, skinny because of the royal canon,
Speaker 3: and finally able to clean himself, come onto the couch
Speaker 3: and watch more television with us. And it was a
Speaker 3: lovely experience. So yeah, no, so it was because I
Speaker 3: had to put Fraser down a week nd. Oh so
Speaker 3: how old was not old at all? He had we
Speaker 3: found out in the and he had cancer but he
Speaker 3: was just under ten. Oh, but we did find that
Speaker 3: main coon cats between ten and twelve years sometimes is
Speaker 3: that space what I've heard. I know people listening you
Speaker 3: probably have a very active cat listenership, cat owner listenership.
Speaker 3: So I'm sure people are going to be like, he
Speaker 3: should have lived at fifteen. Whatever, it wasn't my fault,
Speaker 3: this was his cat.
Speaker 2: Just leave it alone.
Speaker 3: Please leave me alone. Don't get into my DMS. I've
Speaker 3: already had that.
Speaker 2: But people come after you about your guest.
Speaker 3: Yea, they did, they did, They did because I mentioned
Speaker 3: I mentioned somewhere. I took a week off and I
Speaker 3: didn't record anything or do anything public and except for
Speaker 3: I did a post about him. But then I came
Speaker 3: back and I did one of my podcasts that I do,
Speaker 3: and I mentioned his age and then people, some people
Speaker 3: came for me put.
Speaker 2: That in your journal life, I know, believe strangers.
Speaker 3: But people love I mean, I will say people love
Speaker 3: to comment on me. Well, especially with the podcast I
Speaker 3: do that you're making worse what you've been against on
Speaker 3: which I do with Elliott and Elliott Glazer and Brince Sullivan.
Speaker 3: And I feel like I tend to get a lot
Speaker 3: of messages because I am the more flamboyant one, I'm
Speaker 3: the louder one, I'm the gayer one, I'm all of those.
Speaker 2: You just feel approachable people like I think.
Speaker 3: I think so, so people feel more comfortable to share
Speaker 3: their sometimes unsolicited opinions with me.
Speaker 2: Don't if it's advice.
Speaker 3: Just one wants advice from No one wants especially during
Speaker 3: that comment comments love about you know, the difficult time
Speaker 3: we're in all of the things. But yeah, no, people
Speaker 3: love that.
Speaker 2: Don't tell me how I could have kept my cat
Speaker 2: a life.
Speaker 3: I know who does that? Who does that?
Speaker 2: Crazy?
Speaker 3: Oh my god. I had someone being like you didn't
Speaker 3: you should have found out about the cancer earlier, and
Speaker 3: I was like, well they didn't tell me a year
Speaker 3: ago when he was at the vets, So like, what
Speaker 3: am I going to do?
Speaker 2: You know, like I'm sorry, sposed to be helpful.
Speaker 3: I know it's help I'm trying right now, come on,
Speaker 3: why But yes.
Speaker 2: Wow, yeah, cats are interesting because cats frequently lived into
Speaker 2: their twenties.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know. I wasn't expecting that with Frasier. I
Speaker 3: knew that going in because when I learned he was
Speaker 3: that main code and breed, like I knew it yourself,
Speaker 3: likely wasn't going to be it was going to be
Speaker 3: in the tender So I knew when he was turning ten,
Speaker 3: I was like, because me, I'm a planner, and I
Speaker 3: was like, okay, I got a plan to be emotional
Speaker 3: work that undo the schedule these next five years. And
Speaker 3: so I knew that was a possibility, but I didn't
Speaker 3: think it was going to come this quickly.
Speaker 2: Right, and nothing will ever prepare you. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 2: it's impossible.
Speaker 3: I mean it happened within twenty four hours. It was
Speaker 3: like he went from being fine to being out. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So it was definitely the shock of that. But also
Speaker 3: like I adopted him at right after I finished Chemo.
Speaker 3: I adopted him when I was moving into my own
Speaker 3: place after being sick for two years, Like I adopted.
Speaker 3: It was like he was a part of that period
Speaker 3: in my life.
Speaker 2: It really becomes a chapter of your life. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: very clearly defined era. Yes, had you had cats before?
Speaker 3: No, I had no pets. I was living in New York,
Speaker 3: and I I just my life didn't really accommodate pets.
Speaker 3: My family had pets, but they were always their problem,
Speaker 3: not mine. So I didn't really ever have an animal
Speaker 3: that was mine. And I for so long doing stand
Speaker 3: up and stuff, I always was like, you know, I'm cold,
Speaker 3: and I'm sassy and I'm whatever, and but I was like,
Speaker 3: you know what because of chemo and this is getting
Speaker 3: so sappy. But because of chemo, I learned like I
Speaker 3: need to figure out ways to show.
Speaker 2: Love and to be nothing wrong with them, yes, and to.
Speaker 3: Have that in my life. And so I figured a
Speaker 3: cat would be a great therapy to keeping a cat alive.
Speaker 3: Obviously I'm not great at it, but keeping a cat
Speaker 3: alive so that I could, you know, show love, I
Speaker 3: don't know, and maybe get love. And it did work
Speaker 3: for me because I met a man and we've been
Speaker 3: together for a long time and so like all the things, Wow.
Speaker 2: That's incredible. Yeah, And cats are an interesting toe in
Speaker 2: the water of like showing something love because they will
Speaker 2: make it difficult. Or this cat loved negotiating.
Speaker 3: This cat there was no negotiating. This cat was pussy
Speaker 3: out of all the rubs all day long. This cat, now,
Speaker 3: he was selective about who he would.
Speaker 2: Love, which is actually kind of nice.
Speaker 3: Yes, and me, and especially he loved my boyfriend, but
Speaker 3: like he and he loved me too, but like in
Speaker 3: a different way. He knew that I ran the show,
Speaker 3: and yes there was there was a bit of that.
Speaker 3: He knew that things could happen, not that thing listeners.
Speaker 3: So I yeah, so I definitely, he definitely it was
Speaker 3: It's wrapped up.
Speaker 2: In a lot of emotions that I period, but it
Speaker 2: was overall a good, positive experience.
Speaker 3: So I have literally the best ten years, the best
Speaker 3: ten years.
Speaker 2: Do you think you'll have another pet? I know it's
Speaker 2: an early sensitive time.
Speaker 3: No, I do think about it. I've been thinking about it.
Speaker 3: It's like I don't I honestly don't think I could
Speaker 3: have another cat anytime soon. I feel like I could
Speaker 3: have AG but I don't think I could have a
Speaker 3: cat anytime soon. I kind of I've always felt that.
Speaker 3: And again, don't yell at me people. But I've always
Speaker 3: thought dogs were dumber than cats. And I think I
Speaker 3: need some dumb in my life. I need now I've
Speaker 3: learned to love and I've learned to care, and I
Speaker 3: am an animal person, and chemo made me an animal person.
Speaker 3: But because there was this dog during chemo. Speaking of dumb,
Speaker 3: there was this dog during chemo that the house that
Speaker 3: I was staying in when I was going through chemo,
Speaker 3: and he he's a very dumb dog. But he when
Speaker 3: I was in bed, whenever someone would try to come
Speaker 3: sit on the couch or like come be by me,
Speaker 3: he would get so angry. Oh, And I was like okay,
Speaker 3: like at other people, never at me. And he was
Speaker 3: protecting me, of course. And it was this weird sort
Speaker 3: of like Okay, animals have a thing. Animals. Animals know
Speaker 3: something on a level that we don't understand. So I
Speaker 3: need to have that in my life. So I kind
Speaker 3: of need I think a period in my life where
Speaker 3: I have an idiot around me, and I think a
Speaker 3: dog is necessary.
Speaker 2: That's I leave dogs alone. That's not idiotcy I do.
Speaker 2: It's just a different way of showing beautiful idiots.
Speaker 3: They're wondering Yeah, they're just different. They're just stupid or
Speaker 3: and I think that. And that's not a read, that's
Speaker 3: not a read. It's literally like a I think sometimes
Speaker 3: I want to be led by some stupidity, to have
Speaker 3: some fun and chill and just like you.
Speaker 2: Know, more of an openness.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Just I'm open to being dumb right now, which
Speaker 3: I think I wasn't open to being dumb ten years ago.
Speaker 2: Well, I think you're going to be very surprised by
Speaker 2: a dog. I think you're going to realize, Oh, it's
Speaker 2: not so much stupidity as it's just a different.
Speaker 3: It's a different kind of joy. Yeah, and I'm open
Speaker 3: to that. I could use a different kind of joy. Also,
Speaker 3: because i'm again a zempic, I like the prospect of
Speaker 3: having that morning walk in the evening course, So maybe
Speaker 3: the dog will be helpful for me and forcing me
Speaker 3: to be like exercising and being outdoors and healthy and
Speaker 3: right all the things that I hate.
Speaker 2: But you'll love that morning dog walk is such a
Speaker 2: wonderful EXPI.
Speaker 3: Love the idea of it. I feel like it feels
Speaker 3: very Nancy Meyer.
Speaker 2: Oh completely it does.
Speaker 3: I mean, I just I and I'm a tea person,
Speaker 3: so I feel like I would like wake up and
Speaker 3: like start my kettle and then take him for a
Speaker 3: walk or her or them, probably them at this point,
Speaker 3: like my dog will definitely be of them. And then
Speaker 3: we'll come back to the apartment. I'll have my little
Speaker 3: tea and the dog will bake for a treat, and
Speaker 3: I'll be like, I'm busy and I'll get to work.
Speaker 2: And then there will come a day with rain, and
Speaker 2: you'll think, oh my god, what if I don't.
Speaker 3: I didn't even consider that. That's one because you don't
Speaker 3: consider that in Los Angeles.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but then it comes January, it's raining every single day,
Speaker 2: and the dog is furious at you, and you're both
Speaker 2: mad at each other that you have to go into
Speaker 2: the rain.
Speaker 3: Dog.
Speaker 2: We had one until December and she passed away.
Speaker 3: I'm so sorry, thank you.
Speaker 2: It's horrible. Yeah, it's I mean, you know, it's just
Speaker 2: the worst possible thing in the world.
Speaker 3: Did your dog have the pea pad potty pad?
Speaker 2: No, she was an outdoor girl. She was very good
Speaker 2: about that.
Speaker 3: Can you train the dog to be both outdoors and
Speaker 3: a t peapad situation?
Speaker 2: You know, I would love to believe that we can
Speaker 2: exist in that world. But I don't know that that's true.
Speaker 2: I feel like maybe, but if the dog has two choices,
Speaker 2: I think it's going to get confused.
Speaker 3: I think so too again, because they're dumb. No, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3: I mean, you know a cat is not going to
Speaker 3: be outside cats and be like that's my box, that's
Speaker 3: what we're doing. We're not doing that. I mean, sure
Speaker 3: some cats are dumb and they do it outside the box,
Speaker 3: but my cat was not. My cat was very smart,
Speaker 3: never did that, and so I'm saying like this is I.
Speaker 2: Think with a dog it would just be they learn.
Speaker 2: They're like, well they want me to go outside, and
Speaker 2: if there's an indoor thing, they'll be like, well, when
Speaker 2: do they want me to go indoors?
Speaker 3: Yeah. I'm excited about training the dog too, because I'm
Speaker 3: German and I feel like that is like in me
Speaker 3: to do that.
Speaker 2: Oh, I mean, get yourself a German shepherd were very smart.
Speaker 3: Dog can't do big. I can't do a big you
Speaker 3: can't do a big dog. Well, I can't do well
Speaker 3: a the fur. I need to find one that's kind
Speaker 3: of hypo allergenic. Because my boyfriend does love to complain
Speaker 3: he's not Jewish, but he does love to complain. I'm
Speaker 3: the Jewish one, but I think that's rubbing off on him,
Speaker 3: and he will complain about having allergies when he doesn't
Speaker 3: have allergies. He just doesn't like wash his face or
Speaker 3: dust and so yeah, so I can't do that. I
Speaker 3: have to have a dog that is kind of hypoalergenic
Speaker 3: so that he can't complain.
Speaker 2: But they're big, large hypoalergenic dogs.
Speaker 3: Are there, like labbord no to the poodle ones?
Speaker 2: Right, Probably, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm like a medium sized dog. But I
Speaker 3: also like the idea of doing Elizabeth Taylor thing and
Speaker 3: traveling with a dog, having a lap dog that can
Speaker 3: be on a plane with me, because again, my face
Speaker 3: is going to remain my body's not, so I need
Speaker 3: something attractive to hold on too when I am traveling
Speaker 3: in these situations, so that then you're a big yeah no,
Speaker 3: I'm so not. The dog will distract people from the
Speaker 3: rest of the ugly body and then focus on the
Speaker 3: face and the dog, which I think is actually kind
Speaker 3: of genius.
Speaker 2: The beautiful dog.
Speaker 3: You I'm really not getting any younger. I'm trying really hard.
Speaker 3: There's a lot of botos in me, but I it's not.
Speaker 3: I know it's not going to work, so like I need,
Speaker 3: I actually need this dog as a distraction.
Speaker 2: I think that's completely fair a little I love a
Speaker 2: little dog.
Speaker 3: I'm very considering getting a new one, not.
Speaker 2: In the next It'll probably be a little while of
Speaker 2: the farness i'd like my the love in my heart
Speaker 2: for my dog is still much, very much there, and
Speaker 2: I don't know that I feel like bringing a dog
Speaker 2: into the situation would be bad for both of us.
Speaker 3: That's where I am at two. I I just don't
Speaker 3: know if I'm ready yet to quite do that. But
Speaker 3: I am one of those people too that like again
Speaker 3: the German to me that I'm like so eager to
Speaker 3: like get it done, move on with the problem, solve
Speaker 3: the problem, next thing, check it off the list, you.
Speaker 2: Know, yes, just remove them from completely. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I mean I do schedule emotions and ship, which is horrible,
Speaker 3: and I feel like I'm doing that with the morning
Speaker 3: of Frasier of being like Okay, well it's been I
Speaker 3: mean it's only been less than two weeks now, but
Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, a month in a month and will
Speaker 3: be great. I can mourn for a month and then
Speaker 3: I have to on my birthday next month, and you
Speaker 3: start looking for another pet to replace this emotion that
Speaker 3: needs to be taken care of. I know it's going healthy,
Speaker 3: it's going. I know it doesn't work like that.
Speaker 2: You're going.
Speaker 3: I am and I have, I do. I cry so
Speaker 3: many places. Oh it's horrible, isn't it.
Speaker 2: I mean, you have no idea what's going to set
Speaker 2: you off?
Speaker 3: Do you know? Though? I don't mind it. It doesn't
Speaker 3: I know, I really am not. I don't. I'm not
Speaker 3: bothered by it at all. I feel like people and
Speaker 3: again this might be in my head, but I do
Speaker 3: feel like people stare at me because of the freak
Speaker 3: show nature sometimes of like freak show nature, freak show
Speaker 3: nature of like I'm tripping or I'm making things are
Speaker 3: falling off me, or like I'm flailing or yeah, there's
Speaker 3: there's a there's a dying, yes exactly. And so when
Speaker 3: I cry, it's like, Okay, well this is the emotion
Speaker 3: I'm feeling in this moment. So everyone can watch if
Speaker 3: they want. I'm feeling it. I'm fine, you know.
Speaker 2: I think Los Angeles is probably one of two cities
Speaker 2: where that's kind of a normal thing.
Speaker 3: True, true, everyone's just.
Speaker 2: Always at the very brink of emotional and breakdown.
Speaker 3: And the comment immediately goes to, oh, he has housing insecurity,
Speaker 3: but he doesn't look like he does, you know. So
Speaker 3: my building manager she said that to me recently about
Speaker 3: a person who was on house out front and out
Speaker 3: of our building, and she commented being like, by the
Speaker 3: way he dresses, you would never know that they were homeless.
Speaker 3: And I was like, what, I don't know why that's wrong,
Speaker 3: but I think that's a wrong. Yeah, it feels like
Speaker 3: just a bad thing to say about somebody, you know,
Speaker 3: But that's what they would say about me crying at Target,
Speaker 3: that they would be like, oh, this and that's the
Speaker 3: other thing Target right now, that is my biggest anxiety.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I have to un this.
Speaker 2: Does it make you anxious?
Speaker 3: It's making me very angry. Recently, I can never get
Speaker 3: a targe hurt at Target.
Speaker 2: I can never get a basket?
Speaker 3: Yeah, what is what's happening at the stall? Which one
Speaker 3: do you go? Will you got here?
Speaker 2: The rock was?
Speaker 3: I go to the one in Hollywood and yes, everything's
Speaker 3: locked up and I get that society right now, but
Speaker 3: I hate that. But that's just that's I'm actually fine
Speaker 3: with it, give them a past. But I'm also like,
Speaker 3: this is a condition of the world we live in
Speaker 3: right now. It will pass move things will move on,
Speaker 3: things will get better. Maybe we'll deal with some of
Speaker 3: the problems we have in Los Angeles that then could
Speaker 3: lead to some of these changes. Whatever. That's a different thing.
Speaker 3: Give me a fucking car to basket.
Speaker 2: Where have they all gone?
Speaker 3: I don't know. The other day I went to Target
Speaker 3: to pick up some stuff for this again, the funeral
Speaker 3: that I have to go just this begin separate issue. Fine,
Speaker 3: everything's fine.
Speaker 2: In between mornings.
Speaker 3: I am, I am, but it was a family friend.
Speaker 3: We knew they were dying, but it was just the
Speaker 3: timing was weird anyway. So I had to go pick
Speaker 3: up some stuff, some travel stuff for Target and I
Speaker 3: need and my boyfriend was like, oh, pick up coke
Speaker 3: because he's completely unhealthy. So he wanted me to pick
Speaker 3: up the twenty four I am and he deserves it,
Speaker 3: the twenty four case of Coca Cola okay, And I
Speaker 3: went in. There's no car.
Speaker 2: Unacceptable.
Speaker 3: So I text him angrily being like, I'm not getting
Speaker 3: you coat because I'm not carrying that around the store.
Speaker 3: I have other things I have to pick up.
Speaker 2: Here, and that is the heaviest thing, probably in the
Speaker 2: whole store, heaviest thing, mostly unwieldy thing.
Speaker 3: They told me a cart would be up there in
Speaker 3: ten minutes, and I now, of course, I'm also like,
Speaker 3: I'm not a total asshole, because the guilt does run
Speaker 3: over me. So then I do eventually get the coke.
Speaker 3: I gather all the other things in my coat, I
Speaker 3: took off my coat. I used my coat as like
Speaker 3: a hand cart because there were no hand carts even
Speaker 3: And I had the oranges, and I had the other
Speaker 3: things that I was buying, and I had the coke
Speaker 3: in the other arm, and I did it.
Speaker 2: Everyone's looking at you like, oh, this is his first
Speaker 2: time shoplift.
Speaker 3: I didn't cry that day, though I didn't cry.
Speaker 2: But wait, tell me, did they put you on like
Speaker 2: a wait list for a shopping cart. They said you'd
Speaker 2: have one in ten minutes.
Speaker 3: They said that they would be up in ten minutes.
Speaker 3: This makes no sense, makes no sense. So then I
Speaker 3: went and I did my shopping, and again I did
Speaker 3: my shopping quick. It was ten minutes of shopping, and
Speaker 3: I went to the register because they closed down the
Speaker 3: self checkout things I don't know why. Again another crisis,
Speaker 3: they really are. And so I checked out and I
Speaker 3: was like, I was walking out of the store with
Speaker 3: my bags and they didn't have any carts there. And
Speaker 3: then I went down to my car and I see
Speaker 3: where they store the cars to go up, and those
Speaker 3: people are just talking. They're just hanging out with carts
Speaker 3: in the corner.
Speaker 2: Just enjoying. There were of endless thirty carts.
Speaker 3: There were thirty cards. And then I made the mistake
Speaker 3: with the cashier of asking about the carts. I was like,
Speaker 3: what is going on with these cars? And this person
Speaker 3: gave me a story, being like I think they're ordering
Speaker 3: more carts, but I don't know. It's something that I
Speaker 3: heard from my manager. But I mean, I could ask
Speaker 3: for if you want. But and I'm like, now you've
Speaker 3: give you're giving me too many options, and I don't
Speaker 3: want the cart anymore. I don't want to talk about
Speaker 3: carts anymore.
Speaker 2: Where are the carts coming from?
Speaker 3: I don't know where they're coming or going.
Speaker 2: They're stuck on a boat steel, So don't the.
Speaker 3: Carts because I always thought, now I've never experienced this,
Speaker 3: I've never tried to steal a card, but don't they
Speaker 3: like if you try to steal the cart, it will
Speaker 3: stop if you.
Speaker 2: Get like some of them have that electronic or some
Speaker 2: sort of device that like locks them up so you
Speaker 2: can't get them out of there.
Speaker 3: Watching Los Angeles, there's like a law that says you
Speaker 3: can't have that.
Speaker 2: Oh, that might be true. I would support that. You
Speaker 2: should be able to take your shopping cart whenever you want,
Speaker 2: like home with you. You encourage people to take their
Speaker 2: shop would actually be very very helpful. Oh, I'd love
Speaker 2: to have one just lying around.
Speaker 3: Do you know how many times I have I go
Speaker 3: shopping for stuff and then I have to bring it
Speaker 3: all up to the apartment of myself. But I don't
Speaker 3: want to do two trips, so I like put it
Speaker 3: all into my arms.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, of course it is. You have to go
Speaker 2: back down to your car to get everything Forget.
Speaker 3: To run into someone and they're gonna want to talk
Speaker 3: to me. I ran into a neighbor the other day
Speaker 3: who bought one of those new teslas that looked like
Speaker 3: robot cars. What is you know the truck? The truck? Yeah?
Speaker 2: You know someone, yes, one degree, I'm from somebody who
Speaker 2: owns a cyber truck. Oh, yeah, are they decent?
Speaker 3: Well, no, they're annoying. And I had never spoken to
Speaker 3: this neighbor before, but he gave me because we came
Speaker 3: back at the same time and he was looking at
Speaker 3: me and I was like, hi, he was staring at me,
Speaker 3: and then I was like, your car? Do you like
Speaker 3: your car? And he's like oh, And then he tells
Speaker 3: me all this information about the car, which is a
Speaker 3: test what owner is going to do anyway, He tells
Speaker 3: me always he was going to flip the car, but
Speaker 3: there's something with Tesla that you can't flip a car
Speaker 3: if you own it within the first year. You have
Speaker 3: to wait a year they die.
Speaker 2: He was going to actually physically flow to sell it.
Speaker 3: So then he's like, sohnomena. Try But I think the
Speaker 3: back is too big for me. I don't know, and
Speaker 3: he's telling me all this stuff. He gets to his floor.
Speaker 3: He can is a straight man completely. He continues to
Speaker 3: talk to me as he's walking down the hallway. I'm
Speaker 3: not about my arm's a full. I'm not about to
Speaker 3: hold the elevated door open for him to finish the story.
Speaker 3: And he's continuing to talk to me anything No, and
Speaker 3: then the doors start closing, he's still talking and then
Speaker 3: I have to go okay bye, Like it was the
Speaker 3: most awkward conversation, but yet oddly feels like the most
Speaker 3: common Tesla owner conversation that.
Speaker 2: Makes perfect sense.
Speaker 3: It feels like what they would how they would communicate, and.
Speaker 2: Tesla will just make you like you buy the car,
Speaker 2: you cannot sell it for a while.
Speaker 3: Apparently that's what my neighbor said. But he also seems
Speaker 3: like a person who is an idiot, right, Yeah, he
Speaker 3: doesn't seem like this. I mean, I don't think you
Speaker 3: buy a Tesla to sell. I don't think that's a
Speaker 3: smart decision.
Speaker 2: I like that the company policy is like live with
Speaker 2: your mistake. Yeah, Tesla, live with your mistake.
Speaker 3: Also, I know, I mean I don't live in a
Speaker 3: necessarily a nice building. I don't live in a shitty building.
Speaker 3: I moved into the building because it had central AC
Speaker 3: that was the most important thing to me. And so
Speaker 3: it's like a fine building. But it's not a Tesla
Speaker 3: up buildings. So how much does this cost?
Speaker 2: I know it's going to be a seventy thousand dollars.
Speaker 3: Right, I have no idea how least how much is
Speaker 3: a Cymberruch these things.
Speaker 2: Cast let's two prices, right.
Speaker 3: I don't have what you guess I'm going to say
Speaker 3: eighty five.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm gonna get seventy two on a leak.
Speaker 3: Have you done prices right?
Speaker 4: I mean, based on what my cursory Google search brought up.
Speaker 3: Sixty thousand dollars. Oh, that's actually surprisingly affordable.
Speaker 2: I mean for one of those horrible I mean too
Speaker 2: ten dollars would be too much to get me in
Speaker 2: a cyber truck. Yeah, I sixty thousand dollars still means
Speaker 2: a car, but not I.
Speaker 4: Think my apologies. Sorry, they started eighty one, they go
Speaker 4: up to one on one. This is going to be
Speaker 4: a new rear wheel truck that debuts next year.
Speaker 2: It will be sixty thousand.
Speaker 3: I was going to say, I think my car, which
Speaker 3: screams lesbian who's concerned for the environment but didn't want
Speaker 3: to buy a Tesla Kia EV, was fifty thousand, but
Speaker 3: then I.
Speaker 2: Got that EV they give you a credit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so it became thirty some thousand or whatever, which
Speaker 3: is why I got it. And I didn't at the
Speaker 3: Tesla because I couldn't fit in the front seat. I
Speaker 3: felt very much like Norm from cheers getting in a
Speaker 3: small car, and I thought about myself driving to a
Speaker 3: gig and drag in this Tesla with like the seat
Speaker 3: all the way back so my hair could fit. So
Speaker 3: I needed to find a car that would like accommodate
Speaker 3: all of my sizes.
Speaker 2: That's a good drag PERSONA someone who's uncomfortable in their car.
Speaker 3: That's definitely me because I refused to not wear a corset,
Speaker 3: so I so already I can't sit up straight in
Speaker 3: a car, right, And then I have big hair too,
Speaker 3: because if you're a fat drag queen, you have to
Speaker 3: have big hair, and so the hair won't fit in
Speaker 3: the car, so you have.
Speaker 2: To have like a very low right.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I feel like people.
Speaker 2: Are kind of moving away from getting tesla's anyway.
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't think they want the judgment of it,
Speaker 3: of course.
Speaker 2: I mean that I saw them that said I bought
Speaker 2: this before ELNG, which is ridiculous crazy.
Speaker 3: And you know how you spot the cheap ones or
Speaker 3: the poor ones if they're driving a white Tesla, because
Speaker 3: apparently those are the cheapest ones. Oh interesting, Yeah, that's
Speaker 3: what I heard. That's what I heard.
Speaker 2: But those trucks, that's an new category.
Speaker 3: It is a ridiculous car. I don't understand. I have
Speaker 3: a friend, he's a very tiny person, he's I think
Speaker 3: maybe five to four, and he wants one of those cars.
Speaker 2: Well, I think that explains it. You think so I
Speaker 2: mean to make him a billion here? Of course?
Speaker 3: Interesting, I didn't even con.
Speaker 2: I'm so embarrassed for this person. I mean, I know
Speaker 2: two things about them, and I'm already I mean.
Speaker 3: They are a lovely human being. But I would laugh
Speaker 3: at them if they drove down. I would humiliate, I
Speaker 3: would make fun of them endlessly for them.
Speaker 2: I mean, and this is coming from a short person.
Speaker 2: I can say whatever I want about us, our folk,
Speaker 2: and I'm saying, don't get a big truck. You know,
Speaker 2: it's embarrassed.
Speaker 3: Even get a mid size SUV, that's fine.
Speaker 2: But don't do something that's like trying to make a.
Speaker 3: Geotracker. I don't know cars.
Speaker 2: Oh I love a geotracker, I do too. Or a
Speaker 2: Suzuki sidekick.
Speaker 3: I don't know that one.
Speaker 2: I think that's what those are called.
Speaker 3: But you know, get get something normal size.
Speaker 2: Yeah you're not wearing older brother's clothes, not.
Speaker 3: The one that you or that tesla that has the
Speaker 3: doors that.
Speaker 2: Like do that, Oh, those are like the SUVs or
Speaker 2: crossover type.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I drove in on a friend of
Speaker 3: mine has one. The doors are like like a like
Speaker 3: a back to the future. And because my boyfriend doesn't drive,
Speaker 3: so I rarely am able to sit in the backseat
Speaker 3: of a car. So when they were driving, I wanted
Speaker 3: to sit in the backseat of the car, and I
Speaker 3: felt so wealthy, I felt so futuristic when I was
Speaker 3: able to, because rarely in a car am I able
Speaker 3: to like sit like a normal person and then just
Speaker 3: like pivot my body and put my feet on the
Speaker 3: ground and like look all dainty getting out of a car,
Speaker 3: because usually me getting out of a car is it's
Speaker 3: it's a joke, it's ridiculous.
Speaker 2: Well, it's like a weird Yeah, now that you're saying
Speaker 2: that it is weird to get out of a car,
Speaker 2: it is.
Speaker 3: It's weird to get a car in general, especially I
Speaker 3: mean if you are a large I'll say this from
Speaker 3: for large people. If you are a large person, it
Speaker 3: is always a comical situation getting out of any size
Speaker 3: of a car. So I always look ridiculous car. In
Speaker 3: my opinion, I'm sure I look fine. But whatever, I
Speaker 3: can't mention, although although I have. You should film it
Speaker 3: sometimes because my boyfriend, even as I look ridiculous.
Speaker 2: Filming you getting out of car. I never know, you.
Speaker 3: Never know, but no, I do feel that was the
Speaker 3: one moment where I didn't feel ridiculous.
Speaker 2: And so when the door opens up, what I mean,
Speaker 2: what does that change practically about getting out of a car.
Speaker 3: I don't know. I mean, it's just I had more
Speaker 3: space to get out of the car. Then I also
Speaker 3: had a lot of anxiety because I didn't wanted to
Speaker 3: hit the car next.
Speaker 2: To me, right, That's what I would be freaking.
Speaker 3: But it doesn't do that, apparently. I don't know how
Speaker 3: it works. It's a computer. It's a computer, all yeah,
Speaker 3: it is, and it has a mind of its own
Speaker 3: and it does things that we don't understand. But its somehow,
Speaker 3: you know. It's like it's like a mac. I don't
Speaker 3: understand how this thing opened, but it opened.
Speaker 2: I've never been in one. Maybe I will at some point.
Speaker 2: I'm sure you will, but that does make you feel
Speaker 2: a little special.
Speaker 3: It did. I did a self here with your self
Speaker 3: driving car.
Speaker 2: I've never been in one.
Speaker 3: I got one in San Francisco, terrifying, terrifying, the a
Speaker 3: level of anxiety. I was sweating so much.
Speaker 2: Oh, I can't. It been so concerning I feel, I mean,
Speaker 2: such a ludeite, but I can't. Yeah, my dishwasher can
Speaker 2: barely function, and I just don't know that we're ever
Speaker 2: going to get to a place where it's like, oh,
Speaker 2: now you can just I'll put my life.
Speaker 3: Yeah exactly.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 3: Wait, does your dishwasher does it actually like fully clean
Speaker 3: your dishes?
Speaker 2: Well, I got it installed today. The other one was not.
Speaker 3: Oh so you haven't used it yet.
Speaker 2: The other one was only four years old. I've been
Speaker 2: told you should have one for like a decade. So
Speaker 2: I got ripped off, okay, and I hate to be
Speaker 2: ripped off. This new one hopefully will clean all the dishes.
Speaker 3: I mean, let me know, because I'm very curious.
Speaker 2: Yours not washing all?
Speaker 3: Mind does? But I have to do a lot of
Speaker 3: washing beforehand. You shouldn't have to do that, That's what
Speaker 3: I'm saying. I also have that with my television, not
Speaker 3: the washing part, but like the it's only like maybe
Speaker 3: four years old, and it has like a blue tint
Speaker 3: to it that I can't get rid of. Oh no,
Speaker 3: and I don't know what I'm doing, but every single
Speaker 3: morning when I watch the view, they all look like
Speaker 3: smurs and it's like bothering me.
Speaker 2: And that's like a recent change.
Speaker 3: It's a recent change in the television, and I don't know.
Speaker 3: I've tried everything to fix it, from getting new HDMI
Speaker 3: cords to all of the things, and I'm like, this
Speaker 3: is only four years old. This shouldn't be happening to
Speaker 3: this television.
Speaker 2: The picture mode is not on.
Speaker 3: No, No, I've changed all. I've done all of the settings.
Speaker 3: It's hurt the blue tint.
Speaker 2: It broke out a piece of junk.
Speaker 3: But then I'm like, oh, I pay. I have to
Speaker 3: pay like four thousand dollars for Fraser's deaths. So now
Speaker 3: I have to wait to buy a television.
Speaker 2: That's horrible.
Speaker 3: It's the worst.
Speaker 2: I guess electronics are just getting worse.
Speaker 3: I think so because we're all buying it so quickly
Speaker 3: because of that affirm and like you can pay on
Speaker 3: time and everything. Everyone's buying shit so quickly that I
Speaker 3: feel like they're just putting it.
Speaker 2: Out barely keep up. So when you were in the
Speaker 2: self driving car, how far did you go in it? Oh?
Speaker 3: A distance?
Speaker 2: I went from yeah, I probably want like five miles,
Speaker 2: six miles. No, wow, fairly it was going like forty
Speaker 2: miles an hour.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it had to go over the bridge.
Speaker 2: We had to go over the bridge. Were there any
Speaker 2: scary moments whereas.
Speaker 3: Like, oh, every moment was scary for me, but the
Speaker 3: bridge was probably I mean I already have a fear
Speaker 3: of bridges, so that like, right, would that was already scary,
Speaker 3: but that part was scary?
Speaker 2: Yes, wow, And yeah, there's no how does that even?
Speaker 3: I just don't even I don't even understand how it works.
Speaker 3: And someone was explaining it to me. I've learned that
Speaker 3: like when I don't when I not that I can't
Speaker 3: understand it, but when I know that, I shouldn't understand it,
Speaker 3: because the more I understand it, the angrier I'm going
Speaker 3: to get, I just tune out. And so they were
Speaker 3: explaining it to me and I was like, I give up.
Speaker 2: And there's still a steering wheel in it?
Speaker 3: There is? Oh yeah, it's just like an and you
Speaker 3: can drive the car like someone can take over the car,
Speaker 3: but you don't need to because it's doing it itself.
Speaker 2: Fascinating, terrifying, And does it cost as much as like
Speaker 2: an Uber.
Speaker 3: I didn't pay for that, so I don't know how
Speaker 3: much it costs, but I think so.
Speaker 2: Trying to figure out what benefit forgetting it, I don't know.
Speaker 2: Then I don't know.
Speaker 3: I mean, I mean, I do see a benefit in
Speaker 3: terms of very rich people getting more rich by putting
Speaker 3: Uber drivers out of work.
Speaker 2: Right, I mean I see that. My mind was thinking
Speaker 2: about it, eliminating.
Speaker 3: Millionaires will make more money, when in reality I'm just like,
Speaker 3: give me thirty thousand. I'm fine, Like I just literally
Speaker 3: like I don't ever want to be rich. I just
Speaker 3: want to have enough to like be fine.
Speaker 2: There is a certain amount of wealth. I just think,
Speaker 2: what are you.
Speaker 3: Don't work with them? It's not worth it.
Speaker 2: What could you possibly need?
Speaker 3: My family so when we ran into some wealth very
Speaker 3: briefly when we were a kid, because two things happened.
Speaker 3: My brother, who has cerebral palsy, was born on an
Speaker 3: army base, and it was the army's fault that he
Speaker 3: had cerebal palsy. So my mom sued the army. In
Speaker 3: good for her, she got the kid got money when
Speaker 3: he turned eighteen, when they never thought he'd lived eighteen.
Speaker 3: He's now in his mid forties, he's fine, so they
Speaker 3: have to keep paying him. So we got all that
Speaker 3: money one year. And then my mom, when she divorced
Speaker 3: my dad, she invested in a company that invented the
Speaker 3: Wonder Brawl, but years like twenty years before they invented
Speaker 3: the wonderbra are ten years later, and so then in
Speaker 3: like nineteen ninety seven, we suddenly had a lot of money,
Speaker 3: and my mom did the thing that you do when
Speaker 3: someone who's lived a life, who left an abusive husband,
Speaker 3: who worked shitty jobs, who struggled and struggled and struggled,
Speaker 3: got a lot of money. At one point, she didn't
Speaker 3: do the crazy thing. She literally was like, I'm gonna
Speaker 3: buy a house. I'm gonna make sure all the debt's paid,
Speaker 3: and then we're gonna go back to being poor.
Speaker 2: Oh that's we're going to have the security right and
Speaker 2: our lives exactly, exactly.
Speaker 3: The only extravagant thing my brother did was he bought
Speaker 3: a purple Mustang, even though he cannot drive a car.
Speaker 3: I mean, but yeah, but if you had and you've
Speaker 3: suffered for eighteen years and all of a sudden you
Speaker 3: get like a shit ton of money.
Speaker 2: You successfully sue the Army. You can deserve one. Yes.
Speaker 3: And that funny story there about a smart dog. The
Speaker 3: dog is how he stayed alive. So the dog, my
Speaker 3: dad wasn't there when he was born. He was born
Speaker 3: four months premature, five four and a half months. And
Speaker 3: the dog my mom passed out when she had him.
Speaker 3: She had she knew she was pregnant for a month.
Speaker 3: Why now all of a sudden she had him and
Speaker 3: she passed out, and the dog was licking Jason's mouth
Speaker 3: to you know, clean him up, and it created an
Speaker 3: air passageway that kept him alive. America, I know, it's wild. Wow,
Speaker 3: that is a smart dog.
Speaker 2: Wow, that's a very I mean, I'm telling you you
Speaker 2: can be very surprised by this type of animal, very surprised.
Speaker 2: They've been around for a very long time, as long
Speaker 2: as cats, as long as cats or girl. That's sure.
Speaker 3: There's probably a dock on it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they've been around for a long time. Lot at
Speaker 2: least ten to fifteen.
Speaker 3: They've sat fire aside by the cave people.
Speaker 2: We've had cats and dogs since at least the late seventies.
Speaker 2: We can agree on that.
Speaker 3: Since Annie Hall came out, it was a big year.
Speaker 3: It was a big year, Rocky Annie Hall and Network
Speaker 3: and everyone wanted a cat. Then I have a friend
Speaker 3: of the family who tells me that that was the
Speaker 3: year that everyone started to run.
Speaker 2: Run, you know, like jogging. Did that movie set off running?
Speaker 3: Now? I don't know if it's set off set off running,
Speaker 3: but she was like when we were she was born
Speaker 3: in like the fifties, and she was like, when we
Speaker 3: were kids, no one ran for like exercise, right, Like,
Speaker 3: no one was jogging, Like, no one did that, And
Speaker 3: all of a sudden the seventies, everyone starts running, and
Speaker 3: now everyone's running to lose weight. Wow, She's like running
Speaker 3: was invented in the seventies, which has always stayed with me.
Speaker 3: Is weird.
Speaker 2: It must have come up because in the up until
Speaker 2: the fifties or so, people had to do physical labor
Speaker 2: for all kinds of things anyway, true, Yeah, and then
Speaker 2: leisure class probably continued to build or something, and every no.
Speaker 3: One's going to rock the war, Yeah, I could see that.
Speaker 3: In the seventies, everyone was like, well, fuck work, right,
Speaker 3: Carter's president. You know, we can't we can't afford electricity
Speaker 3: right now, So.
Speaker 2: I'm going for a job.
Speaker 3: Let's go for a job. Because some protein from peanuts.
Speaker 3: Thanks President Carter.
Speaker 2: Well, do we have anything left to say about expensive
Speaker 2: cat food?
Speaker 3: Oh? Well no, I mean it's it does work. He
Speaker 3: lost that weight, and you know, one pound to a
Speaker 3: kitty is like twenty.
Speaker 2: Pounds a human. I mean yeah, the ratio of it's.
Speaker 3: Massive, right, So like this stuff does work, I will say.
Speaker 3: And he took to it like a moth to a flame.
Speaker 3: He loved it. He lost that little weight and he
Speaker 3: was able to clean his little booty hole. And it
Speaker 3: was a beautiful last two years of his life, fresh
Speaker 3: and clean, never any problems, no wipe.
Speaker 2: I'm glad the last couple of years were decent.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they were sweet. He was sweet. He's a sweet
Speaker 3: little kitty.
Speaker 2: How do you feel about seeing cat food on TV?
Speaker 3: You know that bothers me. It bother when I necessarily
Speaker 3: you know, you know what's so sing I'm sure you
Speaker 3: can relate to this when a pet dies. And this
Speaker 3: was the first time this has happened to me. I noticed.
Speaker 3: I was so expecting, like, you know, the big memories
Speaker 3: to be more prominent, but it's the little fabric of
Speaker 3: your life things that actually caused me to be more upset.
Speaker 3: The going to bed, the getting up in the morning,
Speaker 3: the my boyfriend undoing the ironing board, and Fraser would
Speaker 3: always freak out about the sound of it, or the keys,
Speaker 3: getting the keys and he would always run for his
Speaker 3: treat with the keys or like. Those little things then
Speaker 3: become triggers, right that, then you get sad over and
Speaker 3: I'm no longer crying as much, but the emotion, the
Speaker 3: depression hits me in those little moments, and I have
Speaker 3: to take a breath, move on and cherish the memory.
Speaker 3: Did you do anything special for the dog with like
Speaker 3: a did you get the ashes? We're getting ours his
Speaker 3: soon's they said in two weeks, so that should be
Speaker 3: next week. But we bought a little memorial thing and
Speaker 3: like a little picture of Fraser for the apartment and stuff.
Speaker 2: Right, Oh that's lovely, it was.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I wish I could tell you it gets easier.
Speaker 3: It just gets different.
Speaker 2: Yea, it gets different, I suppose, which I guess is better. Yeah, well,
Speaker 2: I think we should play a game on that coat.
Speaker 2: Let's play a gift master. I need a number between
Speaker 2: one and ten from you.
Speaker 3: Eight.
Speaker 2: Okay, I have to do some light calculating. Okay, if
Speaker 2: I can get my computer going here right now. You
Speaker 2: can recommend, promote, do whatever you want.
Speaker 3: I'll be right back. Sure.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Well, well, if you want to listen to more of
Speaker 3: me being annoying, you can go to your Making a
Speaker 3: Worse or my Golden Girls podcast out on the Lanai.
Speaker 3: You can also follow my drag at Sadie Pine's. But
Speaker 3: mainly I want to talk about Kathy Baits and misery
Speaker 3: and how wonderful Kathy Baits is. I recently spoke with her,
Speaker 3: and she is a delightful human being. She did something
Speaker 3: fun once with a friend at Amba, which is a
Speaker 3: record store here in Los Angeles, where she was buying
Speaker 3: a lot of records, and then she dropped down one
Speaker 3: of those Amex black cards, which only people who have
Speaker 3: a certain level of wealth can actually use. And my
Speaker 3: friend commented on it and said, wow, I've never seen
Speaker 3: one of those, and she was like tight. And I
Speaker 3: told her that story and she was like, yeah, I
Speaker 3: do that a lot and it works. It's a good joke.
Speaker 3: It's my joke. And Kathy Bates is a wonderful human
Speaker 3: being and that's just really what I want to put
Speaker 3: it out into the world.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I love that.
Speaker 3: She's just like Titanic, and everyone knows what she's talking about.
Speaker 3: Everyone immediately knows. That makes sense. Of course you have
Speaker 3: that card because of the Titanic, makes perfect sense.
Speaker 2: Have you seen one of those cards in the wild? Well,
Speaker 2: I saw from her, Oh you did see yes, Okay,
Speaker 2: I saw.
Speaker 3: From her, But I've never seen it anywhere else. No,
Speaker 3: I did not hold it.
Speaker 2: I wonder if there's a weight.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I should make those out of a very No.
Speaker 3: I don't even know. It wasn't even like I didn't
Speaker 3: really get a great look. She just kind of whipped it,
Speaker 3: but like it might have been purple for all I know.
Speaker 3: I don't really know. But there is like a thing
Speaker 3: to the card, like if you see the card anyone
Speaker 3: who's like obsessed with wealth, which I'm not, but like
Speaker 3: if you see the card, you know like, oh that
Speaker 3: person has money, because apparently has like no lemon or
Speaker 3: something like something crazy, right, something crazy.
Speaker 2: I don't know. Yeah, I don't quite know what you
Speaker 2: would need that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I don't.
Speaker 4: Don't have a credit limit. And I will say, as
Speaker 4: somebody who worked as a bartender and a barista, I
Speaker 4: held it.
Speaker 3: Many many, many many metals.
Speaker 4: Yes, it's black and it feels it's like metal, and
Speaker 4: it's it's you're just like, oh, you're you're it's kind
Speaker 4: of like you're swinging your dick around with this.
Speaker 3: Is it a titanium? I think I have an Apple
Speaker 3: card that's like that, that's very heavy and titanium and
Speaker 3: it's my main credit card and doesn't it's not it's
Speaker 3: just like Amazon, you know, or not Amazons Apple?
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, you know whatever. Yeah, Kathy, Kathy, Kathy is
Speaker 2: the one.
Speaker 3: She has a new show coming out, Mattlock.
Speaker 2: What it's Mattock again.
Speaker 3: She's she's like a I don't know the full story,
Speaker 3: but I think she's like a cousin or something of Mattlock.
Speaker 3: And she's in New York City, I believe, and and
Speaker 3: Mattlock is there and yeah, wow, she's going to be Mattlock.
Speaker 2: Okay, this is how we play gift mess right, and
Speaker 2: three gifts. Three things you can give away, yes, and
Speaker 2: her name, three celebrities. You're gonna tell me which celebrity
Speaker 2: you would give which gift and why?
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 2: The three things you'll be giving away today are number one,
Speaker 2: a fear of water, Number two a thick beard, and
Speaker 2: number three Grammy for Best Rock Performance. These are the celebrities,
Speaker 2: Michael Jordan, Katherine Hahn, and Roma Downey.
Speaker 3: Oh, Roma Downey, that's a that's a twist. Well, I
Speaker 3: think Katherine Hahn needs to do the best Rock Performance.
Speaker 3: I feel like she could actually do very well at that.
Speaker 3: I don't know why, but I feel like I would
Speaker 3: want to see that, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I feel like she's got kind of an edge. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and like she seems like she has taste. Yeah nothing
Speaker 2: any good band of her wins that award.
Speaker 3: But she is married to Mark Burnett.
Speaker 2: Wait you just said Katherine Hahn.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, no, yeah, Roma Downing is married to Mark
Speaker 3: is going to be the metal the Rock Performance winner.
Speaker 3: That is because she needs to do that.
Speaker 2: Yes, that is funny.
Speaker 3: That is funny Rama Downing where there's walking water and
Speaker 3: that was the other one, fear of.
Speaker 2: Death, fear of water, and uh, thick beard.
Speaker 3: Thick beard. Rama Downing is getting the thick beard only
Speaker 3: because I don't know exactly what she would do with that,
Speaker 3: but she'd probably pray over it, touched by an angel situation,
Speaker 3: and she would probably consult her husband, who I think
Speaker 3: is actually evil.
Speaker 2: Oh, I mean I think everyone's kind of on the
Speaker 2: same page.
Speaker 3: My favorite survivor, I love Survivor.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of great but I think that's because
Speaker 2: he's the devil.
Speaker 3: He's holding onto secrets that could be beneficial to you.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think that that man has done things that.
Speaker 3: And I think Rama Downing is not touched by an angel,
Speaker 3: she's touched by evil.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, you don't stay married to Mark Burnett
Speaker 2: if you're an angel.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 2: I mean it's a tract. Oh maybe she's a real sweetheart.
Speaker 2: She's not nothing, but she's not.
Speaker 3: She looks at jelly beans and she thinks they're evil,
Speaker 3: And who would think that? I love jelly and so
Speaker 3: Michael Jordan. I think it would be funny to it
Speaker 3: was Michael Jordan, Right, Michael Jordan having a fear of
Speaker 3: water is actually really funny, freaking because he's so tall.
Speaker 3: He's so big that when someone that large is afraid
Speaker 3: of something, it immediately is more funny, especially if they're
Speaker 3: afraid of something ridiculous, you know, like cats. I recently
Speaker 3: interviewed Lapetea and Neonggo. She had a deathly fear of cats.
Speaker 3: She had to go to cat therapy in order to
Speaker 3: do a quiet place day one wow cat therapy.
Speaker 2: But the therapy works.
Speaker 3: It worked, and now she has a cat.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 3: And one of my last interviews that Fraser was a
Speaker 3: part of was with Lapida and we were bonding over
Speaker 3: our cats that she both had. You know, she became
Speaker 3: a cat person and wow.
Speaker 2: I wonder how long that therapy was.
Speaker 3: Probably not too long because she went into production she
Speaker 3: was and she has a cat in the film, so
Speaker 3: like she has like the cat's a prime a dog. Well,
Speaker 3: she asked they wouldn't let her.
Speaker 2: There are so many other pets. I think it's intentional.
Speaker 3: I think it's actually good because I think the cat
Speaker 3: because if you think about it, I mean, any pet
Speaker 3: in that sort of world where it has to be quiet,
Speaker 3: it would be bad. But the cat in particular could
Speaker 3: really fuck some shit up. But maybe get away from
Speaker 3: one of the monsters. I don't know. Anyway, Michael Jordan
Speaker 3: being afraid of water is just really.
Speaker 2: He turns on the faust.
Speaker 3: Can you imagine? I want to see Michael Jordan's squeal.
Speaker 2: I wonder if Michael Jordan's ever squealed.
Speaker 3: Michael Jordan is so hot?
Speaker 2: Do you think so?
Speaker 3: I do?
Speaker 2: I think he's looking uh that documentary, he was looking
Speaker 2: a little like he's not getting all his fruits and vegetables.
Speaker 3: Well he is older now, yeah.
Speaker 2: But there was something just like he looked a little
Speaker 2: sickly to me.
Speaker 3: You remember his Haines commercials.
Speaker 2: Oh, of course it was when he had that ear ring. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: there was some sexiness happening.
Speaker 3: And then when he played baseball for a little while
Speaker 3: and you got a better look at him because.
Speaker 2: That if it's doing more form fitting exactly.
Speaker 3: But I mean, baseball player outfits are by far the
Speaker 3: sexiest outfits.
Speaker 2: That's amazing. You really see their.
Speaker 3: Thigh in the butt, whereas like football, even though they're tights,
Speaker 3: you actually don't see as much as you need. Baseball
Speaker 3: gives you stuff to work with.
Speaker 2: That's very true. Yeah, it's like, uh, I've thought about
Speaker 2: this a lot. Although I feel like soccer players are
Speaker 2: usually in a pretty sexy uniform.
Speaker 3: Well, they have more of a propensity to show stuff
Speaker 3: while playing because those shorts are baggs. They're flipping around
Speaker 3: and they jump on each other, which hot. But then
Speaker 3: also jump on each other. Yeah, they jump.
Speaker 2: Are we talking about it?
Speaker 3: Don't they? They jump for the ball. I don't know
Speaker 3: the two people who should be talking about we should,
Speaker 3: but sometimes when they jump, they're like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: my hand accidentally grace the short and my my beautiful
Speaker 3: bracelet is caught on the short and it pulls it down.
Speaker 3: And then you see something. You've seen that on Twitter
Speaker 3: and I know you have, and now you can like
Speaker 3: it without anybody knowing.
Speaker 2: Just talking about like a fight of the day.
Speaker 3: They might have a live strong bracelet back in the day.
Speaker 3: And I mean, I'm just saying soccer is a very
Speaker 3: hot outfit, but baseball shows the goods in a way, yeah,
Speaker 3: shows the goods. And because of baseball, I feel like
Speaker 3: your buck gets bigger, button thighs are better with baseball,
Speaker 3: and so it just makes it even more hot.
Speaker 2: Michael Jordan was in that for like three months.
Speaker 3: And I was happy.
Speaker 2: Everybody got a peak. I was happy, and then I
Speaker 2: go back to basketball?
Speaker 3: Did he go back to basketball?
Speaker 2: As far as I know, I don't remember. I think
Speaker 2: it was kind of like a brief, embarrassing thing with baseball.
Speaker 3: My only connection to Michael Jordan is I had a
Speaker 3: very large overdu fye of space Jam at Blockbuster, and
Speaker 3: that is it. That's like all I have to Michael
Speaker 3: and the Haynes commercials.
Speaker 2: Blockbuster was very nasty about over Hollywood Video would let
Speaker 2: you kind of abuse it as long as you wanted
Speaker 2: you could do, which they closed down sooner.
Speaker 3: Yeah. True, but I mean Blockbuster. I mean I had,
Speaker 3: like my credit was sucked for a while because of
Speaker 3: that block Is that true? Because of Space Jam? My
Speaker 3: brother lost the Space Jam video. And then when I
Speaker 3: went to college and I tried to like apply for
Speaker 3: credit cards, I couldn't because my brother fucked up my
Speaker 3: credit because he didn't return Space Jam.
Speaker 2: I didn't realize that videos.
Speaker 3: When apparently I don't know, you know, people that they
Speaker 3: I was told that was the reason that I mean true,
Speaker 3: Now I think it's gone. I think now it's all
Speaker 3: like it's a well far gone now at this point
Speaker 3: it's twenty years ago.
Speaker 2: But still wow, wow, that's I mean, how far the
Speaker 2: video rental industry has fallen.
Speaker 3: Well, true, it can.
Speaker 2: Affect your I still buy Blu Rays. I mean, I
Speaker 2: think that's smart. I love a physical media.
Speaker 3: And you sometimes you can't get some of the films,
Speaker 3: And I love a criteria. I love a bit. I'm
Speaker 3: a big film buff, so I buy the blue rays
Speaker 3: of like the criteria and the ones that I have
Speaker 3: to have.
Speaker 2: I feel like at some point the whole grid is
Speaker 2: going to shut down and anyone who owns physical media
Speaker 2: is going to rule the planet. Yes, everyone's going to
Speaker 2: want to watch their.
Speaker 3: Videos and well then they're going to want to come
Speaker 3: over to my yeah exact and watch it on my
Speaker 3: blue TV.
Speaker 2: YEA one thing that you needed to repair before the apocalypse. Well,
Speaker 2: I think you played this very well.
Speaker 3: Oh good, I'm glad.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's get Roma Downey and that Beard asap.
Speaker 3: She is such a bit. I don't know why, but
Speaker 3: she is. I know she's a bit.
Speaker 2: I feel like, yeah, I mean, there's just come for me.
Speaker 3: Romana stands, but like.
Speaker 2: There's some Trump voting going on in that house.
Speaker 3: I often will not talk bad about someone I don't know,
Speaker 3: but I do feel confident talking bad about her. I
Speaker 3: feel like I feel like the future will play me
Speaker 3: safe and not cancel me for talking about her.
Speaker 2: Ah okay, well it's time for the final segment of
Speaker 2: the podcast. This is called I said no emails people
Speaker 2: right into I said no gifts at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2: You know what they want to beg for answers. These
Speaker 2: people are desperate.
Speaker 3: I love this.
Speaker 2: We've a podcast. Will you help me answer a question?
Speaker 2: All right, this is dearest Bridger. They don't even include.
Speaker 3: You, which is a sign. I'm the famous guest.
Speaker 2: I was standing up for you. You should stand up for
Speaker 2: yourself in this situation. This is rude anyway. It says
Speaker 2: my father's birthday is coming up and I am at
Speaker 2: a complete loss as to what I should buy for him.
Speaker 2: He frequently asks for outlandish birthday and Christmas gifts and
Speaker 2: we oblige, but he never ends up using them. Examples
Speaker 2: include punching bag, meat, smoker, telescope, drum set, and the
Speaker 2: list goes on and on. I feel my family has
Speaker 2: wasted so much money on him over the years. That's
Speaker 2: a nice thing to say about dad. Should I continue
Speaker 2: to entertain his delusional gift ideas or stick to something
Speaker 2: more practical? Thanks in advance for your guidance. And that's
Speaker 2: from Jessica in Philadelphia.
Speaker 3: I think this outlandish gifts. I think the father wants
Speaker 3: outlandish gifts and they're actually giving them giving him practical
Speaker 3: gifts that they think are outlanding.
Speaker 2: You feel like they thought, let's give dad a practical
Speaker 2: punching bag.
Speaker 3: I think a punching because it's physical activity. I would
Speaker 3: take a punching back and be like, oh I can
Speaker 3: work out that to me, sensible.
Speaker 2: But she's saying he asks for them, he asks for
Speaker 2: the punching bag, that.
Speaker 3: Maybe he wants something actually outlandish, like toilet paper with
Speaker 3: his face on it.
Speaker 2: Or saying he's like hinting he's sewing the lies like
Speaker 2: a daring you.
Speaker 3: Lean into the outlandish. I mean, like condoms with his
Speaker 3: mother's face on it, like something true. I mean, I
Speaker 3: don't know why he's using connage at this point. He
Speaker 3: asked children he doesn't really need him. Maybe they're at
Speaker 3: that stage in the marriage they don't need that. But
Speaker 3: whatever it is, I think, like, go go authentically outlander.
Speaker 2: Right, He's saying, my life is boring and bored of you.
Speaker 2: People helped me, helped me here crazy and so but yeah,
Speaker 2: what I mean, what is Jessica ever going to I mean,
Speaker 2: what I'm going to say is, don't get him anything.
Speaker 2: They've tried and tried and tried, and he doesn't use
Speaker 2: any of the things.
Speaker 3: Oh, really, don't get him anything. On you've been to
Speaker 3: a Spencer gift no one can go to Spencer's Gifts
Speaker 3: and not buy something.
Speaker 2: Spencer' still in business.
Speaker 3: Yes, there's one of the Glendale gallery you're kidding. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's true. It's right down from the pizza place, the
Speaker 3: Blaze Fire Pizza whatever. That makes sense on the top part,
Speaker 3: the part of them all that no one goes to
Speaker 3: that the gym is also.
Speaker 2: Actually forgotten part of earth.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is, it is, you have. I had gone
Speaker 3: there because I have a friend. My friend Brent loves
Speaker 3: to talk about Elliott and he thinks Elliott loves nipple clamps,
Speaker 3: and so one time he doesn't for the record listeners.
Speaker 3: But one time I needed to find nipple clamps and
Speaker 3: it's actually hard to find nipple clamps. They're not at Target,
Speaker 3: but they.
Speaker 2: Had them at they had them at Spencer's. That yeah,
Speaker 2: that feels like something you would have to go to
Speaker 2: a sex shop.
Speaker 3: I don't even know where a sex shop is.
Speaker 2: Go to West Hollywood.
Speaker 3: I don't want to go to West Holly.
Speaker 2: It's a long drink.
Speaker 3: Again, we open with me talking about a float that
Speaker 3: was filled with books and magazines. So like, I'm not
Speaker 3: going to West.
Speaker 2: Hollywood, but you are willing to go to the third
Speaker 2: layer of the Glendale Galleria.
Speaker 3: That actually is practical to me because then I can
Speaker 3: actually go to Target too and get some actual stuff done. True,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: I mean they've got it all there.
Speaker 3: I have it all there and there. You don't really
Speaker 3: have to worry about carts too much. Actually that Glendale Galleria.
Speaker 2: Oh interesting? At that Target?
Speaker 3: Yeah? That Target is fine? Yeah? Target?
Speaker 2: Okay there, Yeah, baskets though I don't know where the
Speaker 2: baskets are going.
Speaker 3: Are you more of a basket person more?
Speaker 2: I don't buy that many groceries, and so I love
Speaker 2: a basket any opportunity to hear groceries. How do you eat?
Speaker 2: I don't cook. It's shameful.
Speaker 3: You don't cook.
Speaker 2: It's very embarrassing.
Speaker 3: God, I love to cook. You know what's my new
Speaker 3: favorite thing?
Speaker 2: It cooking is your new favorite?
Speaker 3: No, my new favorite thing to cook is so my
Speaker 3: friends adjusted at Costco. They have the little because I
Speaker 3: love wings. Okay, I love wings, but I don't love
Speaker 3: deep fried wings. I love an air frier wings. And
Speaker 3: so I get the wings and I put them in
Speaker 3: my air fire and I seizon them how I like,
Speaker 3: and then I get buttermilk ranch dressing. Oh, and I
Speaker 3: dip and I just sit in front of the television
Speaker 3: and I suck the bone dry. And it is erotic.
Speaker 3: I am sitting there watching Jumping Jack Flash sucking that
Speaker 3: bone dry on DVD. Mind you sucking that bone dry?
Speaker 2: Are you dipping it back into the ranch? Of course
Speaker 2: you're dipping the bone into the ranch.
Speaker 3: Well you have to. I'm digging the excess meat that
Speaker 3: is left in the bone that I didn't get from
Speaker 3: the first lickage.
Speaker 2: Ranch is a much malign dressing, and I will is
Speaker 2: it malign people? There are people who feel about ranch,
Speaker 2: and I've never been able to understand because it feels
Speaker 2: like such a crowd pleasing item to me.
Speaker 3: Yes, I don't. Actually, I'm not a big fan of
Speaker 3: just straight up ranch. I need the butter milk ranch,
Speaker 3: which is a distinctly different ranch. It's worse for you.
Speaker 3: But I'm on nozembic and I know when to stop now,
Speaker 3: and I feel like ranch.
Speaker 2: There's no health ranch.
Speaker 3: No ranch is never help out. You can't. Calories cannot
Speaker 3: come into play. When you're get the best version, get
Speaker 3: the best of the best. You're eating wings here.
Speaker 2: It's a delicious thing to dip anything.
Speaker 3: It's very easy to make though. I think you would
Speaker 3: like that.
Speaker 2: Oh, I do you have any or chick the chicken
Speaker 2: air fryer? Need to get?
Speaker 3: Oh, get an air fryer. It's changed me. I barely
Speaker 3: use my oven anymore.
Speaker 2: I'm just just gonna sit on the counter.
Speaker 3: No, it won't.
Speaker 2: It's like getting a treadmill, where it's like I'm gonna
Speaker 2: use that and then.
Speaker 3: Yeahs I had that at the beginning of the pandemic,
Speaker 3: and then I got up to three forty four.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: No, I think that the air fryer really is like
Speaker 3: it has. It has changed me. You can bake cookies
Speaker 3: in it.
Speaker 2: See that's interesting because I only bake two cookies a day,
Speaker 2: and I could.
Speaker 3: Wait you, but you don't you bake two cookies a day?
Speaker 2: Yes, I bake two cookies and night, one for me,
Speaker 2: one for my boyfriend.
Speaker 3: Do you really?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 3: Wait, how do you do? Do you make the cookies
Speaker 3: or do you make the dough? You make the dough.
Speaker 2: I make about dough about once a week, and you
Speaker 2: just freeze it and then refrigerate it and then if
Speaker 2: there's too much dough will end up freezing some of it.
Speaker 3: That is the most durable thing that I would never
Speaker 3: do for my boyfriend.
Speaker 2: A little scary. I don't know. I love a cookie.
Speaker 3: Do you put it in a in a toaster oven
Speaker 3: or the oven oven?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 3: You actually cook the two cookies in the oven?
Speaker 2: I am of the problem. I'm using an entire oven
Speaker 2: to bake two cookies.
Speaker 3: You heat that heats apouse? You No, no, it doesn't.
Speaker 2: You don't feel it, or at.
Speaker 3: Least I feel it. But I'm a I feel heat.
Speaker 3: A toaster oven would solve that problem, and then you
Speaker 3: just put that right in there and it would actually
Speaker 3: cook faster.
Speaker 2: I bet too, within the air friar you mean or
Speaker 2: toaster ava?
Speaker 3: You could do either for a cookie.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm just it's a hard sell for me.
Speaker 3: Interesting.
Speaker 2: I mean, is it an impractical gift that Jessica could
Speaker 2: give to Dad or is there another kitchen?
Speaker 3: Oh my god? What if I don't know if Dad
Speaker 3: is a homosexual or heterosexual, but what if his spouse,
Speaker 3: let's say, starts cooking just a cookie for him each
Speaker 3: day and a cookie for them each day, and that
Speaker 3: is that is actually an adorable thing to do. I'm
Speaker 3: never gonna do it, but I love that you do that.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, Jessica's parents need to start making each other
Speaker 2: cookies at.
Speaker 3: Home, cookies at home.
Speaker 2: Maybe you can give it that giant pizza oven.
Speaker 3: Oh that would be delicious. Do you have I have
Speaker 3: a friend who was on Bakeoff and he just got
Speaker 3: this massive pizza oven thing.
Speaker 2: Your friend was on bacoff?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's a great guy, Maddie. He won
Speaker 3: last season and he got this like massive pizza oven
Speaker 3: thing right that he has in his backyard and I'm
Speaker 3: obsessed with it.
Speaker 2: How often is he making you pizza?
Speaker 3: Well, I'm not in the UK that much, so he's
Speaker 3: in the he's on like the actual bake off, the
Speaker 3: one that people care off, you know, And no, I'm
Speaker 3: never I've never. I'm not. He's never baking it for
Speaker 3: me there. But I want to go to his place
Speaker 3: and I want to, Oh you have to. I want
Speaker 3: to have all of the pizza.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: If I knew someone who was on Bakeoff, I would
Speaker 2: be booking a flight right.
Speaker 3: Well, now now that I don't, you should. You could
Speaker 3: be friends with people on bakoff? Oh, just friends with
Speaker 3: just normal people. Oh, you could be friends with people
Speaker 3: on Bakoff. Especially if you start telling them that you
Speaker 3: just pake a cookie, one cookie for you and your
Speaker 3: boyfriend's day. That's your thing, that's your storyline. You're going
Speaker 3: to be on Bakeof moved to the UK.
Speaker 2: I would be kicked off Bakeoff first round, though, But
Speaker 2: the only cook cookies. Basically. I made my first cake
Speaker 2: with a friend a few weeks ago and it did
Speaker 2: turn out nice. But you know, cookies are low pressure.
Speaker 2: They know how to make them. I know the mechanics
Speaker 2: of a cookie.
Speaker 3: I find cookies to be more difficult to me though.
Speaker 3: Why I never I can bake a cake. My mom
Speaker 3: was a baker, like a professional baker, and I so
Speaker 3: I can bake a cake, and I can bake a pie,
Speaker 3: and I can bake all those things. But cookies I
Speaker 3: never can find it. And oftentimes it's the oven itself.
Speaker 3: But I can never find the right balance of heat
Speaker 3: to cookie that that gives it the exact thing that
Speaker 3: I want from the cookie. For a crunchy, I prefer
Speaker 3: a crunch on the out, a chew on the end right.
Speaker 3: I like that, but it has to remain stable. You
Speaker 3: have to be able to hold it in your hand
Speaker 3: and not fall apart, and I have never been able
Speaker 3: to get to that point where the cookies turn out
Speaker 3: very well.
Speaker 2: It's a tricky. It requires a lot of different things
Speaker 2: happen that.
Speaker 3: I don't that I don't. I wish I was my
Speaker 3: mom's about I can pick a cake. I'll make a cake,
Speaker 3: but anything else scares me.
Speaker 2: That's a big investment. If that goes wrong, we ruined.
Speaker 2: I've thrown away all of them.
Speaker 3: I feel like it's hard to ruin a cake.
Speaker 2: Well, I would be the one to do it. I
Speaker 2: don't know. Jessica, get your dad a submarine. I think
Speaker 2: we answered the question perfectly.
Speaker 3: I think we did too.
Speaker 2: I mean, she certainly can't.
Speaker 3: Get condoms with his mom's face.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're options here.
Speaker 3: I bet there has to be. I wonder if the printing.
Speaker 2: Like Etsy does that interesting. I feel like you can
Speaker 2: get just anything. Yeah, it's become a dangerous website. Totally totally,
Speaker 2: very dangerous website.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I've got.
Speaker 2: My cat food here. Yeah, I mean I do have
Speaker 2: raccoons come into the backyard.
Speaker 3: Don't keep it out here.
Speaker 2: I could the raccoon.
Speaker 3: I'm going to tell you you don't. You don't have
Speaker 3: to feel bad about throwing it away. Either you can
Speaker 3: totally throw it away.
Speaker 2: This is a yeah, it's a this is an interesting one.
Speaker 3: This was an emotional gift on on a level that
Speaker 3: was like I need this off my hands, but I
Speaker 3: physically cannot throw it. I've had my boyfriend throw out
Speaker 3: other things because I physically cannot.
Speaker 2: I know, I mean again, and we don't have to
Speaker 2: get too deep into this because it is a deeply
Speaker 2: emotional thing. I know that exact, exact feeling. It's a nightmare.
Speaker 3: I can't do it. I can't. There is even when
Speaker 3: we got his picture to go with his ashes that
Speaker 3: were getting I couldn't. They hit our building, which is
Speaker 3: there insane. They like take packages and they put them
Speaker 3: somewhere weird and we can't find it. And I knew
Speaker 3: I was gonna blow up if I had to deal
Speaker 3: with it, so I had to have my boyfriend just
Speaker 3: has to deal with those things because I well, it's
Speaker 3: just too emotional.
Speaker 2: I'm glad I could help facilitate.
Speaker 3: Some So yes, thank you for that, thank you for
Speaker 3: the cat food. You're welcome. I'm so glad you're able
Speaker 3: to be here, and I'm so happy to be your
Speaker 3: least famous dud it. I want that as an honor.
Speaker 3: Please please put that as the hashtag.
Speaker 2: We'll put that in your credits. Thank you, HL and
Speaker 2: Scott Parentheses. Famous person on the podcast.
Speaker 3: Just follow me, I guess while I still have an Instagram.
Speaker 3: Who knows that all could be gone tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Thank you for being here, Thank you so much for
Speaker 2: having me listener. The podcast is simply over. We've been
Speaker 2: all over the place here and I hope you're not
Speaker 2: in tears. I hope you can have a nice rest
Speaker 2: of your day and uh, go on, go do something.
Speaker 2: I love you, goodbye, I said, No Gifts is an
Speaker 2: exactly right production. It's produced by our dear friend on Aalise,
Speaker 2: and it's beautifully mixed by Ben Holliday. And we couldn't
Speaker 2: do it without our guest booker, Patrick Coottner. The theme song,
Speaker 2: of course, could only come from miracle worker Amy Mann.
Speaker 2: You must follow the show on Instagram. At I said
Speaker 2: no Gifts, I don't want to hear any excuses. That's
Speaker 2: where you get to see pictures of all these gorgeous
Speaker 2: gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see pictures
Speaker 2: of the gifts? He lie? Invit?
Speaker 1: Did you hear Funna made myself perfectly clear. But you're
Speaker 1: a guess to me. You gotta come to me empty,
Speaker 1: and I said, no guests, your presences presence en and
Speaker 1: I already had too much stuff.
Speaker 3: So how do you dare to survey me?